From: sagan@twinparadox.org Date: Tue, 13 Feb 2001 05:57:43 -0000 Subject: xfc: NEW: Mulder House Rules (G) 1/1 By Sagan Source: xfc TITLE: Mulder House Rules AUTHOR: Sagan FEEDBACK: Please and thank you. sagan@twinparadox.org RATING: G CATEGORY: V, MSR (implied) Cotton Candy (sweet fluff) SPOILERS: Beyond Season 8 SUMMARY: Words to the wise DISTRIBUTION: IWTB, ATXC, PhoeniX -- anywhere DISCLAIMER: Sheaaah. Riight. NOTES: At the end ******************* Mulder House Rules By: Sagan ******************* Fox Mulder entered the cozy kitchen and smiled at his preoccupied children. Jake sat quietly at the kitchen table, flipping through a Scholastic Books order form, one sneaker dangling from the toe of his left foot as it swung back and forth under his chair. Mulder squeezed his son's shoulder as he stepped over Beth, sprawled out on the hardwood floor with her giant box of crayons dumped around her coloring book. He bent down to Beth's level and ran his fingers through her hair. "That sure is a pretty picture, sweetheart," he said, taking in what he imagined was a blue tree and its orange leaves. She smiled a gap-toothed smile and picked through the crayons. Mulder watched as she dotted the page with purple checkmarks. "Birdth," she lisped. Mulder leaned over and kissed her forehead before he stood up. "Did you get your book report written, kiddo?" he asked, spying the book on Babe Ruth underneath the ball and glove in the chair next to him. "Yeah, I'm done. I did it in class today. Can I have my allowance early this week?" Jake asked as he browsed the posters and books section of the form. Mulder stooped in front of the oven door, adjusting his bow tie in its reflection. "That depends. Are you going to be good for the sitter and keep an eye on your baby sister?" Beth rolled onto her side and looked up at her dad. "I'm not a baby." "Hoo boy," Jake sighed. "Yeah, I'll watch Squirt." "I'm not a thquirt." "That's right, sweetie, you're not a squirt," Scully said, walking slowly into the kitchen. Tilting her head, she slipped a diamond stud through the hole in one ear, affixing the back to it. She leaned over and kissed Jake on the cheek. He turned in his seat and put his arms around his mother's neck and returned the kiss. "You smell good, mom," Jake said. Scully smiled as she gently wiped at the lipstick on his cheek. "Why, thank you, Jacob." Mulder turned to look at his wife. "You look beautiful." Moving around the table, he took her hand and spun her around. "That dress was made with you in mind," he said. Scully blushed. "Are you sure it's not too -- you know - " gesturing to the low neckline and smoothed her hands along her stomach and down her slender hips. He stepped closer and pulled her into an embrace. "No, it's not *too*- ". He nuzzled her neck, whispering something against her ear. "Mulder," she giggled and stepped away from his grasp. "What time's the sitter due?" Mulder glanced at the clock on the microwave and was about to speak when the doorbell rang, triggering a thunderous scrambling overhead. Bailey and Klondike, two matching brown Akitas, raced along the upstairs hallway and barreled down the staircase, barking wildly. "I think that might be the sitter now -" Mulder shouted above the cacophony. Jake hopped up and ran to help corral the dogs. Scully put in the other earring and then knelt to help Beth gather crayons. "Will you be a big girl for mommy?" Beth nodded. "You'll have lots of fun tonight. Probably more fun than daddy and me." "C'mon in," Scully could hear Mulder shout. He held the door open for the teenager and she slipped in under his arm. Standing in the foyer, she watched as Jake tried to drag Klondike away from her and Mulder led Bailey through the house by her collar. Beth chased Jake and Klondike into the kitchen as Scully came out to greet the sitter. "Hi Sara, let me take your coat," Scully offered. "Hi, thanks." The babysitter slipped out of her coat, smiling shyly. She gave Scully's gown an admiring glance. "I really like your dress, Dr. Scully." "Oh -- thank you Sara. That's sweet. Come on in - we're ready to go as soon as we get the dogs out." Beth peeked around her mother's skirt, looking up at Sara. Scully rested her hand on her daughter's head, smoothing the silky dark hair. The babysitter bent down to Beth's level. "Hi, Beth, do you remember me? I'm Sara." "Hi. Did you come to play Barbieth?" Sara smiled and nodded. "Sure!" Walking back into the living room, Mulder was swiping at his tuxedo's pants legs with a lint roller, Jake on his heels. "Damned furry monsters." Jake giggled and waved at Sara, his cheeks flushing bright red. "Hey Jake," she waved back. Mulder took Scully's cape from the closet and brought it around her shoulders, but not before dropping a kiss on her neck. "We should be home by midnight. I've already ordered dinner and it's on its way." Scully checked her make-up in the hall mirror as Mulder fished out his wallet. "This should cover it," he said, handing the babysitter a twenty. "You've got our cell numbers, right?" Scully asked as she pulled on long leather gloves. She bent down and rubbed noses with each child before kissing them good night. "Everything'll be fine. Food, Barbies, Play Station 4, Popcorn. Ice cream for dessert --" Sara said, walking slowly behind them as they headed down the front steps. "Only if they're good. If they're a handful, no ice cream," Mulder reminded her. She turned on the front porch light. "They're always good for me, Mr. Mulder. Now go on, you two! We'll be fine." Sara stood in the doorway, looking down the sidewalk. "Don't forget to set the alarm behind --" "I won't! Have fun!" Sara said. Jake and Beth joined her at the door and waved goodbye. "Oh! I almost forgot," Mulder said, hopping back up the stairs. Scully stopped and watched him disappear into the house. "Mulder! We're gonna be late! The Senator will be upset we're not already there --" Mulder darted through the house and removed a careworn -- and often added to - piece of paper from the front of the refrigerator. Jogging back through the house, he handed it to Sara. "It's been a while since you've sat with the kids. This is just a refresher." He bent down and hugged both kids, giving them each a kiss on the cheek. "Be good for Sara, okay?" They nodded in unison. "You guys will be fast asleep by the time we get home. Sleep tight." He hugged them again. Scully blew kisses from the lighted sidewalk. "Did you pick up the invitation, Mulder?" Scully asked as he opened her car door. "It's not like Doggett isn't going to let us in -" he said, tucking her cape around her legs before shutting her door. Mulder walked around and got in behind the wheel. "That's *Senator* Doggett, now, Mulder. And I think he and Monica will be too busy meeting-and-greeting to wave us through." Sara waited until they pulled out of the drive before closing the front door. The kids ran through the house and Sara followed, reading the list he had given her. Mulder House Rules: 1. Do not hook the dog leashes over the ceiling fan. The support bracket and ceiling joist is not strong enough to sustain a 61-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. 2. Certain Barbie footwear will pass through the digestive system of a four-year-old (but only with EXTREME DIFFICULTY) 3. Do not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. The glass in the windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 4. Barbie hair does NOT grow back. 5. The dogs do not like wearing Daddy's dress shirts and ties. 6. When you hear the toilet flush followed by the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late. 7. Magnifying glasses are to be used only for purposes of MAGNIFICATION, not INSECT EXECUTION. 8. Keep all hamsters, gerbils, newts, iguanas, chameleons, frogs and salamanders AWAY from ALL KITCHEN APPLIANCES. 9. Super Glue is *forever*. 10. Stay out of the garage. Labor costs spent removing marbles from gas tanks will be deducted from your inheritance. 11. Garbage bags are not to be used as parachutes. 12. Mommy is in charge of all band-aids. NO EXCEPTIONS. 13. The cat does not like the dryer. 14. Ketchup is not a healthy lunch. 15. The fire department in Chevy Chase, Maryland has a five minute response time. Sara laughed as she joined the kids in front of the television in the family room. Jake offered to share his beanbag with her, but she opted instead for the worn-out black leather couch. END Notes: To my twin Rah - you have the patience of Job. I owe ya *big* time. I know it's not your cup of tea, but for your undying focus and ability to keep me on the path, I am always grateful. And amazed. ~Sagan Posted Tuesday, February 13, 2001 Liked it? Hated it? Got cavities from all the sticky sweet? Email me at sagan@twinparadox.org http://www.twinparadox.org