From trevizo@utep.edu Sun Sep 29 03:07:38 1996 Return-Path: owner-x-files-fanfic@chaos.taylored.com Received: from chaos.taylored.com (chaos.taylored.com [206.53.224.58]) by sh1.ro.com (8.7.6/8.6.9) with SMTP id JAA22741 for ; Sun, 29 Sep 1996 09:36:23 -0500 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by alias); 29 Sep 1996 08:07:41 -0000 Delivered-To: x-files-fanfic-outgoing@chaos.taylored.com Received: (qmail-queue invoked by alias); 29 Sep 1996 08:07:40 -0000 Delivered-To: xff-outgoing@chaos.taylored.com Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 1003); 29 Sep 1996 08:07:14 -0000 Received: (qmail-queue invoked from smtpd); 29 Sep 1996 08:06:40 -0000 Received: from mail.utep.edu (trevizo@129.108.1.4) by chaos.taylored.com with SMTP; 29 Sep 1996 08:06:39 -0000 Received: by mail.utep.edu (1.37.109.16/16.2) id AA024164458; Sun, 29 Sep 1996 02:07:38 -0600 Date: Sun, 29 Sep 1996 02:07:38 -0600 (MDT) From: Gil Trevizo To: x-files-fanfic Subject: Mulder Merange Pie (1/1) by Steven M. Wagner Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Sender: owner-x-files-fanfic@chaos.taylored.com Precedence: bulk X-UIDL: 74d6053f78809d69c1dfd24802c1c7fa I did not write this. Please send all comments to the author at (swagner@ntwrks.com). __________ / __ __ \ ( (__) (__) ) --------[[[---------]]]------------------------------------------------- Mulder Meringue Pie Steven M. Wagner swagner@nando.net Rating: XS - For eXtreme Silliness DISCLAIMER: This is a fiction story based on the characters created by Chris Carter. No infringement of copyrights held by 10/13 Productions, Twentieth Century Productions, or Fox Broadcasting is intended. All unrecognized characters and plot- lines belong to me. Names, characters, and places exist solely within my imagination, or are used fictitiously. No connection to any person, living or dead, is intended, and any resemblance is entirely coincidental. Feel free to distribute, but please keep me as the author. SUMMARY: Mulder saving Scully's life, get's nailed instead. "Everybody doesn't like something, But nobody doesn't like Sara Lee." Advertising jingle. "Watch your back, Scully," the tall dark Fox Mulder, FBI Special Agent told his partner. "Watch your own butt, partner," was the reply. Short where he was tall, bright where he was dark, Dana Scully, led him to what may turn out to be their doom. They were chasing a bank robber. Not normal fare for two of the "FBI's Most Unwanted," but when he turned into a serial killer, the AIC called for Fox "Spooky" Mulder, the best profiler in the Western Hemisphere, to be on the case. And as an added bonus, you got Dr. Dana Scully, MD, Fellow of the American Board of Pathologists. And all-round crack shot. They had traced the man to St. Petersburg Florida. A sleepy little burg whose sole claim to fame was the world's largest shuffleboard club. And a member of the FBI's 10 Most Wanted holed up in the Swan Pie Company kitchen. As they moved through the same kitchen, they searched for some sign of the miscreant. Billowing around them was the smell of the pies still baking in the ovens, they had evacuated the building so quick. "Wanna stop by a diner for a cup of coffee and some pie when we're done here, Scully," Mulder whispered. A quick glance his way told him that he would be dining alone. But the quick movement out of the corner of his eye made him understand that his next meal might be far off. "Scully, hit the deck," he shouted as he pushed his diminutive partner out of harms reach. They both heard the growl of hydraulic motors as a huge stainless steel vat started to upend its contents over the hapless agent. An agent deluged with gallons of a sticky white substance that coated his face, his hair, even his wingtips. was redhead's prayer as the thick liquid cascaded over her partner. They had been hit with alien retrovirises, weird monsters, even abduction. Death, and fates worse than death was always at the back of their minds. And now this white goo might be the doom of the brave young man that risked his life to save her's. Shots rang out as the members of the elite St. Petersburg SWAT team quickly brought down the perpetrator. Scully only hoped that there was enough time to save her partner as she waded into the sticky substance. Ruined hose and shoes would be a small price to save this man, her partner, her friend. As she got to him, he was rising back to his feet, his first move was to wipe the stuff from his face, then sniffed what he had collected. "Mulder, be careful, we don't know what it is yet." She was worried that it might even then be eating away at their skin and clothes. And here he was sniffing at it. "Nothing to worry about," his dry tenor assured her. "It's nothing but," he stopped for a second tasting the thick glop, "meringue," casually flipping the handful into her face. Scully sputtered for a moment, wiping the stuff from her face, even taking a taste herself. Thoughts erupted in her mind of her personally helping to clean off her partner, wondering what flavor Mulder's skin would add to the simple mixture of egg whites and sugar as she licked it off him. she thought. She remembered the sign, "Sale, Lemon Meringue Pies," on the front window. she chided herself. They both turned and watched Police Sargent Jimmy Cappel lead the perp out of the building. They turned to look at each other. "Can't take you anywhere, Mulder. Just have to wear your food," Scully joked with her partner. They both knew how close it was. How lucky that the perp had decided to drench them with whipped eggwhites rather then hot lead. They headed out of the building. "Shall we get cleaned up," Mulder started to say as they stepped into the bright Florida sun. A sentence never finished as the two got their 15 seconds of fame. What great examples of the FBI they were. They had risked life and limb to bring in the murderer. They had worked hard and built an airtight case. And what should have been their time in the sun, their time to perhaps fleetenly be seen in the public spotlight as heroes, the world saw them covered in white goo. ---THE END--- RECIPE: This story calls for roughly 500 times as much Meringue as you would normally make for a pie. Ingredients: 2000 egg whites 21 fl oz vanilla extract 21 fl oz cream of tartar 190 cups of sugar Beat the egg whites, vanilla, and cream of tarter at medium speed of an electric mixer until soft peeks form. Gradually add the sugar, beating at high-speed until mixture forms stiff glossy peaks and sugar is dissolved. Immediately spread meringue over Mulder, or replacement. If you do not want to bake this treat, it has been reported the Martha Stuart says that you can brown meringue with a blow torch. This recipe has not been tested. Enjoy at your own risk.  --=====================_843937852==_ Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" ------ Steve Wagner Cary, NC, USA swagner@ntwrks.com --=====================_843937852==_--