From: "patfiler@hotmail.com" Date: 12 Feb 2006 15:31:28 -0800 Subject: Mulder's New Years Resolutions III Source: atxc Title: Mulder's New Years Resolutions III Author: Pattie Rated: G Category: Humour Spoilers: Season 4 Summary: Gotta give him credit: the dear boy IS trying! (In more ways than one...) Feedback: patfiler@hotmail.com Archive: Gossamer. I usually do the rest. Disclaimer: This time, I found them waiting at the bus stop heading for the mall pet store, investigating a pet shop selling fluke babies. I sent them straight back to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Studios. No one has given me money, and I still honour the original copyright by reading the very last part of the credits after the show. Fast reader. X-FILES OFFICE J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING DECEMBER 31, 1997 2:37 PM This year, things had settled down a bit just enough for Mulder and Scully to catch up on paperwork and put their feet up for a couple of weeks. Scully had been able to see her family for Christmas, and neither of them had been assigned to other departments, fallen prey to freaks of nature or paranormal phenomena, or hospitalized. Tips had dwindled to a mere trickle. So, Scully had taken some time out of the day to visit the dentist. She hadn't indicated any plans for New Year's Eve. Mulder? He was tiring of the pencil throw, the garbage can was filled to the brim with rim shots... er, crumpled rough notes, and for once the phone hadn't rung and the email was sparse. His New Year's Eve would probably be relatively uneventful... unless, of course, someone was open to a little beer and pizza. Maybe that would be pushing things just a little. What better time to do those New Year's Resolutions he'd tried to live up to during the past two years? Even better, he could try to see just why he hadn't kept them. As he grabbed a pen, he told himself no one was perfect, that these things were really nonsense, and he was all right whether or not he tried to live up to those lofty expectations he had tried to impose upon himself. *Wait a minute,* he told himself. *Better do it on the computer and save to disk. Then wipe it out of the history folder, as usual.* Well, what would Scully think if she found any of these around the office? He could just hear her: 'Mulder, you don't really believe that old chestnut, do you? As a psychologist, you know people can't just set these goals for themselves, only to feel guilty for not keeping their resolutons! You might have to come down on yourself! And what the heck is THIS, Mulder? You know what I mean: The seventh resolution?' *What the heck. I'll give it another try.* He opened up a file and began to type: "This next year being 1998, I Fox William Mulder, do hereby resolve to accomplish the following tasks: 1) Clean my apartment from top to bottom, north, east, west, south, stem to stern and maybe under the couch. Who am I kidding? Well, I might just be able to stop having to buy new socks in bulk. Yeah, that's an incentive. Besides, I think Scully would appreciate having a beer without seeing that inch of dust on the TV, not to mention the rolled up masking take from the window. 2) Stock the fridge with healthy stuff that is not dated back to 1992, not full of green material only a scientist can identify, and cannot be hard enough to do serious injury when airborne. (Right. How often am I home to read the dates, let alone rescue the stuff before it resembles something that belongs in a petrie dish?) 3) Throw out the shells. I'm sure Lariat didn't really need a shop-vac to remove all those sunflower seed shells like accounting tried to tell me, especially after that case in April. How they ended up under the back seat is beyond me, but maybe I was set up. Anyhow, I resolve to bag the shells and dispose of them in a more appropriate way... even when I'm preoccupied with Scully's whereabouts and hovering objects performing mysterious manouevers and shining their bright lights all over the country. 4) Umm... I really have to stop ditching Scully. I really do. I mean, she's my personal doctor, partners need to be informed of the other agent's location at all times and all that official and polite minutiae... Heck, I have to keep her out of danger, and sometimes it's not a good idea to bring her along when she's objecting to following up on a lead that wins us the case! So, with all those injuries after going it alone, I'll have arthritis later in life, but she'll be safe. She'll even thank me. Gotta stop ditching Scully... 5) Call Scully in the middle of the night because she would worry about me if I didn't by this time, and while I really can't blame her for falling asleep on those long rides anymore, I value the fact that she's become such a trusted friend that I can be needy and she won't have to hear me say it. I need the reassurance of her voice, and she needs to be needed by me. It's the doctor in her. Anyway, what are friends for? 6) Stop thinking up nicknames for Skinner when I've had a couple of beers. Let's see: 'Chrome Dome', 'Mr. Clean's Evil Twin' and 'A.D. Kojak'... I wonder if the guys and gals at the bar even know he has a name. It looks like he's on our side now, too. So, out with the old pet names when I've had too many and go to the bar pissed off at him. Besides, all the fibbies at the bar think I have some sort of secret torture chamber set up for him. 7) Take hold of that absolutely lovely partner of mine on New Year's Eve and give her lips the best once over they've ever had. The only reason I missed doing that last year was the bruised jaw, and it was Frohike's fault I landed flat on the pavement at quitting time that day. Enough about that. Scully is getting the warmest of my New Year's wishes this year, and I know she won't slug me, because her little arms can't reach my jaw. 8) Duck as fast as I can anyway, because maybe she wouldn't want me to kiss her even on New Year's Eve after the past year's ditchings, near death experiences and wild goose chases. Oh yeah, and the abduction. 9) Fight the valiant battle to continue my search for Samantha, because that's what I have set my mind on, and I feel I'm finally getting somewhere with some of the new information I've stumbled across. I can't wait to take her back to Mom and make up for all those lost years. With the nightmares over with and the guilt gone, I will finally have peace of mind as far as Samantha is concerned. 10) Duck after I kiss Scully tonight. While I do trust my partner, I just want to make sure she doesn't think I'm not sincere, after all the problems she's had with Donnie Pfaster and so many other guys. Scully needs to be kissed. That's it. She needs a New Year's kiss and she will have a New Year's kiss. Just as soon as I get up the gumption to ask her in for beer and pizza tonight. Oh no, that means dusting... Signed, this 31st day of December, 1997, Fox William Mulder."