From: Voet Date: 20 Aug 1999 13:19:09 -0700 Subject: New: Never forget you (1/1) Title: Music Box 2: Never forget you (1/1) Author: Tanja E-mail address: voet@tanja-myrna.demon.nl Rating: PG Keywords: MSR, Mulder Angst, Character Death Summary: Mulder's thoughts at the grave of the woman he loved and lost. Archiving: Gossamer always, other archives please, but it would be great if you could drop me a note, so I can visit :D! Disclaimer: They belong to CC, 1013 and Fox Network. Author's notes: Ehm this is a really depressing story, sad, but it does contain love and strong feelings. It's the 2nd installment in the Music Box series, I know, I wrote the other one ages ago. Joey thanks for being a great friend and beta-reading this story! Dedication: For Sam, who fought an unfair fight. I miss you on the list. Music Box 2: Never forget you (1/1) Today it's exactly one year since you lost the fight. Somebody once said that an unfair fight is a battle lost, before you could fight it. At first I thought that you would survive. You were too strong, too young, you weren't done living yet. You were supposed to get married, have children, live your life with a family, long and happy. Instead, you got sick. Your life became one of hospitals and doctor appointments. I saw the pain in your eyes, when you thought you could hide it. Maybe for every other person you could, for me you couldn't. I knew you too well, too long, recognized every emotion and look from you, because you were my life. The night you died, I heard a song, the words never left my mind after I heard them. They described my feelings in every way. I won't see your smile And I won't hear you Laugh anymore Every night I won't see you Walk through that door I wondered how long it was going to take for me to realize, to accept that I wouldn't see your smile anymore. You were not going to walk into our office anymore and leave at night. At that moment I thought and was convinced I would never be able to accept your dead. It was meaningless and not fair. 'Cause time wasn't on Your side It isn't right I can't say I love you It's too late to Tell you Bit I really need You to know 4 years we worked together and I wanted to tell, for some reason I didn't. But you must have known, it must have been visible in my eyes when I was with you. No, I'll never forget you I'll never let you out of my heart You will always be here with me I'll hold on to the memories baby Baby can you hear me Wherever you May be tonight Are you near me I need you to be by My side I was lost for a long time, couldn't find my way back to a life that I didn't want to go back to, because it was empty, useless and meaningless, without you by my side. 'Cause I never said Goodbye It isn't right I should have said I love you Why didn't I just Tell you God knows I need You to know No, I'll never forget you I'll never let you out of my heart You will always be here with me I'll hold on to the memories baby Somewhere I know you'll be With me Someday in another time But right now you're gone You just vanished away But I'll never leave You behind No, I'll never forget you I'll never let you out of my heart You will always be here with me I'll hold on to the memories baby People could talk to me and I wouldn't know what they had said, nobody seemed to get through to me. For months I buried myself in my work, running away from reality, lost in the darkness. Thinking that if I worked 24 hours a day, I would be able to forget. Of course it didn't work. It was Skinner who saved me in the end. He saw what I was trying to do. He took me to a house in the woods, for a week he talked to me. Hours, days, until there was nothing to talk about anymore, until I was finally ready to accept. I remember I yelled, repeating time after time that it wasn't fair. After that week I was finally able to accept and move on. In the knowledge that I never told you that I love you, but knowing you knew. Knowing that even though you're far away, you're by my side, looking out for me. One day, in another time, we will meet again. Until than I'll hold on to the memories I have about you and us. I'll live my life, with you in my heart, never forgetting you. The End