From: katchat42@juno.com
Date: Sat, 16 Aug 2003 03:33:25 GMT
Subject: No Subject Provided
Source: direct


Title: My Dream
Author: Katchat
Rating: G
Category: Vignette, R,A
Keywords: MSR, Mulder POV
Spoilers:  Set after The Truth
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Summary:  "The world may end, but we will be safe....Safe there in my dream."

My Dream

There is a dream I have every night.

A dream of peace.  Of solitude.  Of rest.  In it, I am not running.  
There is no evil at my heels.  It is not dark.  I am not filled with a
sense of overwhelming responsibility. There is no guilt in my being.

No...in it, I am happy.

We are together.

All three of us.

There is no distance between us, there are no forces trying to keep us
apart or attempting to terminate our lives.  We stand together on a
beautiful beach, the warm sun cascading down over us, the crisp waves
lapping at our feet.  I watch as the sun glistens on your radiant hair
that is being tossed gently in the soft breeze.  Your sapphire eyes
look back at me, crystal clear and full of peace.  There is no pain in
your eyes.  There isn't a trace of longing or brokenness.  Your eyes
smile at me in my dream.  You are holding our son.  He is asleep on
your shoulder, letting the sound of the waves and the salty breeze
lull him in blissful rest.  There is a slight smile on his chubby
mouth.  He is not afraid, not lonely.  He is with us.  And we are
content.

I am ignorant in my dream.  I do not know the facts that have plagued
my mind since I learned of their existence.  I do not hold the
knowledge that every other person on this earth would find devastating
if it were to reach their ears.  I have no burden of truth on my
shoulders.  I do not see that day in the distant future that haunts
me.  I have no reason to fear.  I have no need to worry.  I do not
have to look back over my shoulder or keep my eyes peeled for the evil
lurking in the shadows.  I do not have to protect you or my son.  No.  
We are alone.  We are safe.

It is there, in my dream, that I find my resolution.  For without that
perfect place to go to in my sleep, I could never face the day when I
awake.  It is because of that dream that I persevere.  Even though the
moment I open my eyes, the truth comes flooding back into my brain,
and I am once again consumed, there are those moments...after the
dream and before consciousness...those moments where my world is still
perfect.  It is my crusade to make these moments reality.  I don't
know if I can succeed.  I am not sure that in my finite strength I can
change the future, that I can prevent the disaster that awaits us all,
but I will try.  Not for me, but for you and for our son.  I want you
to know the peace of my dream.  That is why I will use my every
resource, spill my every drop of blood, exhaust every avenue to
abolish the truth.  What I once sought after is now my torment.  But
for your sake, and for William's, I will do my best to make sure it
never succeeds.

There is, of course, the chance that I will fail, that there is
nothing to be done, that human hands cannot fight a battle with
supernatural forces.  If this is the case, I am sorry.  But I will
always pray.  I will pray for your safety, for your peace of mind.  
And if all else fails, in those final moments, when the world is
turned upside down and our power is unsalvageable, I will hold you in
my arms, and go to that place in my dream.  There, we will forever
remain, together...at peace...and content.

The world may end...but we will be safe.

Safe there in my dream.