From: RhiaRamsay@aol.com
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2001 05:38:11 EST
Subject: New: My Father's Words (1 of 1)
Source: direct

Title: My Father's Words
Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono
Rating: PG
Category: Vignette, Angst
Keywords: 
Spoilers: Requiem (mention of Mulder's abduction)
Summary: "What we talk about when we talk about 
             love." -Raymond Carver

This is the third story in the Father series.  
It would be really handy to have read the prequels 
to this, My Father's Son and My Father's Eyes, in 
order to understand what is happening.  You can 
find both of them at my website 
(http://www.geocities.com/rhiaramsay).

Thanks to Rachel, Lori, and Gwen for their help 
on locations.

Feedback: Is loved.  Send it to RhiaRamsay@aol.com

Disclaimer: None of the characters in here are mine, 
not even Drew, who is just William with a different 
name.

Archive: I'll send to Gossamer, Ephemeral, and 
Spookys.  Touchstone, Legacy, KTF can all have it.  
Anyone else please ask permission first.


My Father's Words
Elizabeth L. Iacono


I never thought the day would come where my father 
would want to introduce me to the woman he wanted 
to start dating, a woman who was his ex-wife.

Hell, I've been having a lot of those days lately.

I never thought my parents would be getting divorced.

I never imagined that they hadn't been a real 
couple for years.

I never imagined that Walter Skinner wasn't my 
real father.

So let's just say that there's been a lot on my 
mind recently.

Mom had taken care of telling Dad that I now knew 
this deep secret, and left me to pass out on their 
bed for a couple of hours, my mind too overloaded 
to think anymore.  I also conveniently 'forgot' to 
tell her about the man from the bus stop whose twin 
was in the picture of Mulder.  That was another 
problem for another time.  We didn't really talk 
about it anymore after that day.  It was always 
hanging over our heads though, like some ax just 
waiting for the handle to snap and come plummeting 
down on our heads.  

Until today.

I was off from school for Columbus Day and I got a 
call from Dad saying he'd like to meet me for lunch 
today.  A few awkward moments later he also said 
that he'd like me to meet Sharon, his ex.  I didn't 
have the heart to say no, even though my whole body 
was screaming to run as fast as I can in the other 
direction.  So, at twelve that afternoon I was 
sitting on a bench outside a little restaurant 
near Dupont Circle.

It was a pretty nasty day outside, grey skies and 
a dropping temperature, with the definite promise 
of rain in the air.  I figured I could stick it out 
though, and I hunched down in my coat to wait for 
Dad to show up.  Dad is nothing if not punctual 
though, so not even two minutes after I sat down 
did I see him walking up the street, seeming to 
part the crowd of moving people to either side of him.

Even in his mid-sixties Dad still has this imposing 
air about him.  My best guess is it's because of his 
years in the Marines and all those years as an 
Assistant Director.  In any case, when he's pissed, 
he can still scare the shit out of me.  Today though, 
he looked calm.  He sat down next to me on the bench 
and said, "Hi, Drew."

"Hey, Dad."  I shifted over a little to make some 
more room for him.  "What time is she getting here?" 
I asked when he had settled in.

"Sharon will be here at Twelve-fifteen.  It'll give 
us some time to talk first."

Talk?  Uh-oh.  "About what?"

Dad turned to look me in the eyes.  "Drew, I know 
you're not too thrilled with this whole situation," 
I snorted in agreement, "but please, be nice to 
Sharon.  Don't act sulky and belligerent the whole 
time.  Just give her a chance for my sake."

I groaned and shoved my hands back into the pockets 
of my coat again.  "I'm not asking you to like her, 
Drew, just be polite," Dad said, and I could feel 
the glare he directed at me through his glasses.

"I'll try," I conceded, slouching back against the 
bench.  "It's just...I'm having a damn hard time 
grasping this whole thing.  I mean, not even two 
weeks ago, we were a happy, normal family, and 
now?  I don't even know which way is up."

Dad sighed himself and turned slightly in my 
direction.  "I don't know if Mom told you this, 
but this hasn't just been from the last few weeks, 
this has been developing over years."

"I know.  But I didn't know about it until now.  
Am I that unimportant to you that you couldn't 
think to tell me?" I questioned, even though I 
didn't really believe my own words.

"Drew..." Dad huffed, rolling his eyes.

"I know, I know," I sighed, burrowing my hands 
even deeper into the pockets. 

Let me tell you a little something about myself.  
I have been told that I am far to curious for my 
own good.  It's like, the equivalent of sticking 
your fingers in that mysterious goo even though 
you know there's a chance that it could burn your 
skin off.  It was this curiosity that led me to 
ask my next question.

"When you married Mom, did you know she was in 
love with another man?"

Not at that surprisingly, Dad's jaw clenched 
in that gruff way of his.  "You don't need to 
know that."

"Yeah, I do," I persisted.  I didn't offer up 
any explanations as to why, hoping he could 
figure out the reasoning behind my urgent 
need to know for himself.

A stern glance, a holdover from the A.D. part 
of him.  "Come on," I wheedled.

And then, he nodded.  "I did."  Which puzzled 
me even further.

"So she loved you enough to marry you and all 
the while she was still in love with this other 
guy Mulder?"

Dad laughed at my almost scandalized look, 
making me feel like a real schmuck.  "What?  
You don't think that it's possible to be in 
love with two people at once?"

I mulled it over, my face twisting into an almost 
grimace.  "I don't know.  I guess it's possible.  
It just seems kind of surprising that Mom of all 
people is the one feeling that way."  After all, 
while Mom was open-minded, she was still a fairly 
conservative person, at least in my eyes.

Dad got this thoughtful look on his face.  "How 
much did Mom tell you about her relationship with 
Mulder?"

I huffed lightly.  "Not much."  In the grand 
tradition of family communication Mom hadn't 
told me much about her love life before marriage.

"She should be the one telling you this," Dad 
muttered.  "But let me give you a little background.  
Be warned, this is all from an outsider's point of 
view; Mom didn't tell me much about their 
relationship either."

What else could I do but get comfortable and 
prepare to hear an interesting story?  I shifted 
against the bench, ignoring the way the wooden 
slats dug into my shoulder blades.  

"I watched them as they worked together for seven 
years going through some of the most unimaginable 
things.  And things like that, if they don't destroy 
a relationship, it can only bring the people closer.  
The relationship between your parents...It was unlike 
anything else I'd ever seen before.  In law 
enforcement, partners do become close, but this 
seemed too close at times.

"Part of me was envious about how close they were, 
but I doubt I was the only one.  God, there was so 
much speculation going around the FBI about them, 
and it only increased when your mom started to show 
with you.  But that doesn't really have anything to 
do with the way their relationship was.

"Your mother brought out the best parts of Mulder, 
I think.  He could be a real bastard sometimes, 
flying off the handle, investigating God knows what 
without regard for himself.  But she managed to keep 
him sane.  I think she made him more human sometimes."

A taxi screeched up to the curb and let out a group of 
business people dressed in somber looking suits.

"One thing I have no doubt of is that if Mulder 
hadn't disappeared your mother and I would 
not have been together.  Your grandmother once 
said to me that they made each other whole, 
and looking back it was very true.  Your 
mom had a very hard time after your dad was 
abducted.  You were the only thing that 
really got her through it."

Boy, way to make me feel awkward, Dad.  It was 
fairly disturbing to know that at one point in 
time I was my mother's one reason for living.  
She always seemed a lot stronger than that.  She 
can still shrivel any guy's balls with one of those 
glares of hers.

I still had plenty more questions, but I didn't get 
a chance to ask them because Dad had suddenly stood 
up and I got my first look at the woman he was taking 
me to meet.  Sharon looked close to Dad's age, with 
a face that had some lines around the eyes and mouth.  
Her hair was still dark, obviously with the help of 
some dye.  She had a nice smile though.  This smile 
was aimed in my direction as she offered me her hand 
and said, "It's great to finally meet you, Drew."  
My tongue seemed to be stuck, so I just shook her 
hand back.

The meal was, well, the meal was slow.  Dad and 
Sharon dominated most of the conversation, and 
aside from the questions aimed my way, I just 
stayed back and enjoyed my hamburger.  Eventually 
I went to the bathroom, just for a change in scenery.  
A minute later I was on my way back, but right as I 
was passing by the partition that kept the passageway 
from our table, Sharon and my Dad's voices landed in 
my ears.

"Drew looks so much like him, doesn't he?" came 
from Sharon, with a sound of assent from Dad.  It 
wasn't that hard a guess who the 'him' in question 
was.  Did everyone know this secret before I did?  
I bit back a frustrated groan and banged my head 
against the partition.  Not hard enough to make a 
noise, but enough to get some of that frustration out.

And then, something came back to me from our talk 
before.  When Dad was speaking to me before, he 
called Mulder 'my dad'.  I'd never even met the 
guy before, how the hell is he supposed to be a 
father?  He should have been around for the important 
stuff.  

From what everyone is telling me, he would have 
been here if he could, that he was this great person 
for my mom and yet when he had the chance to come 
back, he didn't.  Okay, I don't know the exact 
circumstances as to why he didn't come back, I'm 
not a mind reader (I didn't even know the guy existed 
until a couple of weeks ago) but part of me wants to 
believe that he would have.    Which makes me wonder 
why he was watching me at the bus stop that day.  
Was he too scared to approach?  Or were there other 
reasons?  And did Dad feel that insecure with his 
status in my life that he had to say that?  Or maybe 
it was just some unconscious thing.  I wonder, did 
he ever really accept me as his son, or was it 
always on his mind that I came from someone else 
and not him?

That's when I realized I didn't want to think about 
it, at least not right now.  So I pulled my head off 
the wall, pasted a smile on my face, and walked back 
out to my Dad and his new girlfriend/ex-wife Sharon.

          *                *               *

The series isn't over yet, so please stay 
tuned for more!