From: "Debbie Cullen" <djc45@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2001 16:18:07 -0400
Subject: Story Submission
Source: direct

TITLE: My Love
AUTHOR: Debbie Cullen
                   djc45@hotmail.com
RATING: R
CLASSIFICATION:  Mulder/Scully Romance
KEYWORDS:
SPOILERS: Post "This Is Not Happening!" (8 X 14)
SUMMARY: Sometimes your dreams really do come true.
FEEDBACK: Please! I appreciate all feedback - for or against.
DISCLAIMER: Anything X-Files that I may have used do not belong to me. They 
belong to Chris Carter & 1013 Productions as well, of course, as David and 
Gillian who bring Mulder and Scully to life so vividly every week.
NOTES:


MY LOVE

     When they arrive back in DC, Skinner drives Scully home to her 
apartment. She barely spoke at all on the flight and was no more talkative 
on the drive to her apartment.
     Skinner walks her to her door and as she puts her key in the door, he 
says, "Agent Scully, are you okay?"
     She opens the door, steps inside and turns to face him. "I won't lie to 
you. This is very difficult for me. It's going to take time, but I'll be 
okay. I have to be, for this baby!" she says as she gently rubs her hand 
across her stomach.
     "Well, I'm going to let you get some rest, but if you need me, just 
call, day or night, okay?" Skinner tells her.
     "Okay, thank you, sir," she replies. He turns and walks away. She goes 
inside and closes the door.
     She goes over and sits on the couch. She pulls her knees up to her 
chest and just sits there. After several minutes, a tear slips down her 
cheek ... then another ... then another, until they are pouring down her 
cheeks. She cries for Mulder. She cries for all that she has lost and she 
cries for her baby who will never know its father. When there were no more 
tears, she finally lies down and falls asleep.
     Several hours later, she feels something gently rubbing against her 
cheek. She swings her hand at it, much like you would swat at a fly. A 
moment later, she feels it again. This time when she tries to swat it away, 
a hand grabs her wrist.
     This action startles her so, that she's instantly awake and jumps to 
her feet. When she sees who is holding her wrist,
she almost faints. Mulder catches her as her knees buckle.
     He picks her up and gently lays her down on the couch.
He gently strokes her cheek and says "Scully! Scully, are you okay?" Her 
eyes slowly flutter and then she opens her eyes and looks into his beautiful 
hazel eyes. She just looks in his eyes for a moment and then she throws her 
arms around him.
     "Mulder, how? I saw your body!" she asks.
     He tries to pull away, but Scully won't let go.  She won't even loosen 
her hold. If she does, he might just disappear.
     "Scully, it's okay. I'm not going to disappear into thin air. I'll tell 
you everything I know."
     She lets go of him long enough for him to sit up on the couch beside 
her. Then she curls up right beside him with her arms around him again.
     "Scully, I'm really sorry for the hell you've been through. I couldn't 
risk getting in touch with you until you were back in DC."
     "But Mulder, I saw your body!" Scully exclaims.
     "I know. It was a fake. The men who took me, the same men who took you, 
have been working for years with aliens. Scully, you are going to have a 
really hard time accepting this, but please trust me - it is the truth."
     "You know I trust you, Mulder."
     "Good. Just remember that. These aliens have technology to produce a 
'cloned' body in several hours. The problem is the body looks identical, but 
they have not been able to replicate feelings, emotions, that kind of thing.
     "They left that 'clone' in Montana to get the FBI to stop looking for 
me - especially you Scully!" he says as he bends down and kisses the top of 
her head gently.
     "Mulder, how did you get away?" she asks.
     "Because they don't know I'm gone. They think I am completely drugged 
and under their influence. I have been able to counteract their drugs. I 
don't think they realize that because of my previous exposure to the "Black 
Cancer", the drugs they are using don't have the same affect on me as they 
do on the others. I have been able to listen in on their conversations. I 
took one of the 'clones' and put in my examination cubicle. I had overheard 
them discussing the fact they would have to cease using 'my' clones for a 
while - at least until the news of my death dies down. I knew that would be 
my chance to get to you."
     During the last few minutes, Scully had kind of pulled away from him. 
"Mulder ..."
     "What's wrong, Scully? You look frightened. You have no reason to be 
afraid of me."
      "Butt ... how do I know ... you're ... really ... you?"
     Mulder just smiles and then he leans over, puts his hands on either 
side of her face, pulls her to him and kisses her deeply. As soon as their 
lips touch, Scully knows this is really Mulder. No one else could make her 
feel like this. When he pulls away, "Any more questions, Scully?"
     "Scully, I want to explain something to you. I suspected from the 
beginning that these abductions last spring in Oregon were fake. They were 
doing their own version of  'damage control.' That's why I went. I wanted to 
expose the fraud."
     "Why didn't you tell me, Mulder?" she inquires.
     "I couldn't. I knew you wouldn't want me to go and I knew you'd insist 
on going with me. It was too risky. I couldn't put you in that kind of 
danger."
     "Mulder, just tell me one thing."
     "What?"
     "You have to go back, don't you?"
     "Yes," he says. Then he sees her face drop. "I know you don't want me 
to and I don't want to, but I'm so close to everything we've worked so long 
for, Scully! I have to finish this ... but there is some good news - I don't 
have to go until tomorrow morning."
     "Mulder, I have something I need to tell you too."
     "What, Scully? You didn't find yourself a boyfriend while I was gone, 
did you?"
     "No," she says and slaps his arm. "Do you remember how I had tried to 
get pregnant?"
     "Of course I do."
     "Well ... it worked." she tells him.
     At first, he looks at her kind of dumbfounded. Then he throws his arms 
around her and tells her how happy he is.
     "Scully, this is what you've always wanted."
     "But Mulder ... there's something else I want."
     "What's that?"
     "You," she says as she leans over and kisses him. "Mulder, the reason I 
asked you to be the donor was because ... I ... love you and there was no 
one else in the world I would rather have a baby with."
     "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Mulder asks.
     "I was kind of afraid of scaring you off. At least this way, I would 
have had your baby if nothing else."
     "When they told me that you were dead, I realized how much I really did 
love you. I felt such guilt that I never told you the truth!"
     "When I opened my eyes and saw you there, I made up my mind that I 
wasn't going to waste any more time."
     "If you had told me before, Scully, all you would have found out was 
that I love you too! Sometimes I think I fell in love with you the first 
time you walked into our office."
     Tears are welling up in Scully's eyes. She never really dreamt that he 
would love her too!
     "Mulder, you've kissed me before, but now I ... more! Where or when 
doesn't matter, you and I together will make it perfect, because it's you 
and I. I want you to make love to me, Mulder. If something happens to you, I 
don't want to regret not sleeping with you for the rest of my life. After 
all, we're already having a baby, so this seems kind of backwards ..."
     "But at least our baby will know that its parents really did love each 
other," he finishes for her.
     Scully slides over beside him and puts her arms around his neck. 
"Mulder, I love you. I don't think I've ever been in love before, not 
really. I've had sex, but I've never really made love before. I've never 
felt like this before - ever!"
     "You want to know something? I've never felt like this before either. I 
want you so much!" He then tilts his head down and covers her mouth with 
his. His tongue dances along her lips, looking for an invitation to enter. 
Scully eagerly invites him in.
     While still kissing her, he reaches underneath her sweatshirt and 
undoes her bra. He starts kissing her all along the side of her jaw to her 
ear and then down her neck. When he got to the neck of her sweatshirt, he 
managed to growl, "This is in my way." He then pulled back only long enough 
for her to pull off her sweatshirt (and bra) and for him to discard his 
sweater as well. Then she slipped down so she was lying flat on the couch. 
Then he was on her again. He ran his tongue around the outside edge of her 
nipple and then took her nipple in his mouth and tugged slightly. Then he 
did the same thing to her other breast. While he was doing this, Scully 
reached down and undid his jeans. She could feel his hardness pressing 
against her leg. She slipped her fingers inside the waistband of his jeans 
(and his boxers) and pushed them down. Mulder plants a kiss on the space 
between her breasts. The sensation sends chills down her spine and she 
moans. Mulder pulls back momentarily to rid himself of the last of his 
clothing. Scully undoes her pants and is about to pull them down, when 
Mulder stops her. "Let me."
     He slips his fingers inside the edge of her pants and pulls them (and 
her panties) down. Scully kicks them off to land where they may on the 
floor. All the while, Mulder is planting kisses all down her stomach, and 
all around her belly button.
     He then brings his mouth back to hers and they start kissing again. 
Scully can feel his erection pressing against her leg once again, but this 
time it is skin to skin. The sensation brings a moan to her throat, but she 
doesn't allow it to escape. She reaches down and rubs her thumb across the 
head of his very erect penis. He moans.
     "Mulder ... please ... I ... want ... you ... inside ... me!" she says 
very breathily.
     Mulder is only too happy to oblige. He gently slips her legs apart and 
positions his hips between them. She then wraps her legs around his waist 
and he swiftly thrusts into her and then withdraws and then thrusts in 
again. "Slow down, Mulder. I want this to last forever."
     "Me too!" he gasps. After several more minutes, they both come and 
share in the most earth-shattering orgasm either of them has ever 
experienced. Then they collapse beside each other. When Mulder finally finds 
his voice, he says, "I need to ask you something."
     "Again, Mulder!!??"
     "No, well, I mean, yes, but that's not what I was going to ask you."
     "Well, what was it then?"
     "Stay here. Don't go away. I have to go and get something. I'll be 
right back."
     She watches his finely muscled thighs and nice rounded ass as he goes 
to find his jacket.
     When he comes back, he has something hidden behind his back.
     "Scully, I know I don't express my feelings very well ..."
     She cuts him off. "Oh, I don't know. I think you did pretty good just 
now."
     "You know what I mean. I don't have all the flowery words, but I really 
do love you with all of my heart ... Scully, will you marry me?" Then he 
brings a quarter karat diamond solitaire ring from behind his back.
     With tears in her eyes, she leans over and kisses him and then says, "I 
would like nothing better than to be your wife. I love you so much!"
     He slips the ring on her finger and then pulls her to him for a long, 
passionate kiss.
     "Mulder, do you always carry engagement rings around with you?"
     "Only since I fell in love with you ... Actually I bought it just after 
I went to the fertility clinic with you. I made up my mind that if the IVF 
worked, I would tell you how I felt and propose. Even if it hadn't worked, I 
just might have proposed anyway."
     "Oh, I love you," she says as she throws her arms around him and hugs 
him tightly.
     "Mulder ... are you tired?"
     "Not really, why?"
     "Well, you understand, this is purely scientific," she says and smiles 
mischievously, as she slips her hand down and gently rubs his now flaccid 
penis.
     Her touch sends a chill through his body. "Just what have you got in 
mind, Miss Scully?"
     "Well, if you didn't understand, maybe this will do the job." She grabs 
him with one hand and pulls her to him and kisses him full on the mouth. 
With her other hand, she reaches down and massages his balls. He moans deep 
in his chest.
     "Again, Scully?"
     "Definitely, but slow and easy. I want to memorize every little thing. 
If I don't see you for a while, I don't want to forget."
     "Scully, I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. I don't want to be 
away, anymore than you want me to be away. I love you." Then he takes her in 
his arms and kisses her.

THREE HOURS LATER
     "Scully, I think I'm tired now."
     "I know,  me too," she says as she curls up beside him with her head on 
his chest. "Sleep now." She closes her eyes and feeling completely 
satisfied, she promptly falls asleep.
     Mulder just enjoys holding her. He knows he will miss her, but he has 
to put an end to this. He then sleeps as well.
     At five o'clock in the morning, Mulder awakes. He slips out from under 
the arm Scully has thrown across his chest.
     He goes around and collects his clothes and goes into the bathroom to 
get dressed.
     When he is dressed and ready to go, he goes over to the couch, where 
Scully is sleeping soundly. He contemplates waking her, but decides against 
it. He's afraid she'll cry when he has to leave and he doesn't know if he 
could handle walking away from her when she was crying. He leans down and 
gently kisses her on the cheek. "I'll be back soon, my love." With that he 
gets up and quickly leaves.
     A couple of hours later, Scully slowly wakes. When she realizes Mulder 
isn't there with her, she sits up.
     "Mulder ... Mulder where are you?" There is no reply. She looks around 
the whole apartment and can't see any sign of him.
     She sits back down on the couch and the tears start to flow. "It was 
only a dream!! It was so real. How could it have been only a dream?"
     Suddenly there is a knock on the door.
     "Who is it?" she asks.
     "Skinner," is the reply.
     She gets up and heads to the bedroom. "I'll be right there," she says 
as she comes out of the bedroom, wrapped in a terry cloth robe.
     She opens the door and says, "Hello, sir."
     "Hello Agent Scully. I decided to stop by on my way to work. Are you 
okay?"
     "As well as can be expected, I guess ... I'm sorry, please come in. Do 
you want some coffee?"
     "I don't want to ..."
     She cuts him off. "I was just about to make some."
     "Great. Thanks." He can see the tears building in her eyes. He knows 
any minute now she's going to burst into tears. He just doesn't know what to 
do to help.
     She goes about making the coffee, promising herself that she won't cry 
in front of her boss.
     "Agent Scully, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. I 
wasn't going to mention it until later, but I don't want to be too late."
     "That sounds awfully serious."
     "Well, it is. I'd really appreciate it if you'd listen to what I have 
to say and why."
     "Okay."
     "First of all, does anyone else know that you're pregnant?"
     "My mother does and so does Agent Doggett."
     "I hope you don't think I'm getting too personal, but if you hear me 
out, I do have a reason."
     "Go ahead."
     "Do they know who the father is?"
     Wondering where this was going, but trusting Skinner to have a good 
reason, she replies, "My mother does. I never told Agent Doggett, so I have 
no idea what he thinks or assumes. We haven't discussed it."
     "Please know that I am suggesting this with your best interests at 
heart - yours and your baby's."
     "I know ... but please just tell me what it is!"
     "Agent Scully, I've known for quite some time that you and Agent Mulder 
have been quite close - and I don't mean in a professional manner. As long 
as it didn't interfere with your work, I was willing to look the other way. 
You know I admired Agent Mulder. He was my friend."
     When Skinner says "admired", Scully can barely swallow. Her heart feels 
like it skipped a beat. Then he continued.
     "I hope you know that I am your friend too."
     "I know that, sir."
     "Good. Have you given any thought to keeping your baby's father a 
secret?"
     "Why would I want to do that?" she asks angrily.
     "Agent Scully, by telling people that Mulder is your baby's father, is 
opening both of you up to ridicule. You know how they treated him! Is that 
what you want for your baby?"
     "Unlike you, obviously, I am not ashamed of him. I love him. I am proud 
of the fact that he's this baby's father. I will not deny him or his child 
that. If I did that, I would be no better than the people who ridicule him." 
Scully fires back, really angry.
     "Agent Scully, I was just ..."
     She cuts him off. "All you're doing is protecting your own ass. If 
nobody knows Mulder is my baby's father, then you're safe - nobody will know 
that you knew about our relationship. I can't believe you'd sell him out 
like that!!! I really think you should leave now!" she turns away from him.
     He puts his hand on her arm and starts, "But Agent Scully ..."
     "Sir, I really don't want to hear it! I just want you out of my house!"
     This wasn't what he had intended. He only wanted to make her aware of 
the possibility. Now he's really made a mess of things. He doesn't know what 
else to do, so he leaves.
     When Scully hears the door close, she goes into her bedroom and lies 
down on the bed.
     The tears start to flow and she finally cries herself to sleep.
     What seems like minutes later, but is actually a couple of
hours later, Scully is awakened by a knocking on the door.
     "Go away, Skinner!" she yells out.
     "It's me, honey!" Scully immediately recognizes her Mom's voice and 
gets up to answer the door.
     As soon as she sees her Mom's face, she bursts into tears again. Maggie 
puts her arms around her daughter and tries to comfort her, but she isn't 
sure there is a way to comfort this pain.
     Finally, Scully manages to stop the flow of tears. "Mom, what am I 
going to do. All I want to do is cry all the time."
     "Honey, just give yourself some time. This is a very difficult time for 
you. Being pregnant is hard enough on your hormones without all this 
additional stress."
     "Last night I had this dream. It was wonderful. Mulder was right here 
with me. It was so real!" With that she threw herself on the couch, covered 
her face with her hands and cried yet again.
     As Scully put her hands to her face, Maggie caught something sparkle 
out of the corner of her eye. When she looked at her daughter, she saw a 
diamond ring, which she is sure her daughter didn't own previously.
     "Dana?"
     "Yeah, Mom," she says tearfully.
     "Where did you get that ring?"
     "What ring ..." as she brings her hands down from her face, she stops 
dead in her tracks. She sees what her Mom is asking about.
     Now she knows it wasn't a dream! Mulder was with her last night! He 
really did make love to her! She just wants to jump up and scream at the top 
of her lungs, but she can't. She has to keep Mulder's secret! It's the only 
way she has to protect him now.
     Maggie immediately notices the change in her daughter. "Where did you 
get the ring?"
     "From Mulder."
     "How come you never showed it to me before?"
     She doesn't like lying to her Mom, but she knows she doesn't have a 
choice. "He gave it to me before he went back to Oregon. I've had it with 
me, but I haven't been wearing it. We agreed that when he came back we'd 
make it official. I was feeling so down last night that I put it on ... I 
guess I fell asleep and forgot about it."
     "Are you going to tell me what's really going on, Dana?"
     "I can't Mom. At least not right now. I do want you to know, however, 
that I'm going to be okay. You don't have to worry."
     "Dana, please ...?"
     "Mom, please just trust me!"
     "Well, if you're not going to tell me anything, I guess I might as well 
go." She picks up her coat and purse and heads out the door. Scully hates 
lying to her Mom, but she has to protect Mulder.
     Once her Mom is gone, she goes into the bathroom to take a shower. When 
she takes her robe off, there are little marks all down the side of her 
neck, where Mulder had nibbled last night. When she closes her eyes, she can 
feel his lips and his hands all over her. That was a feeling she didn't ever 
want to forget.
     She took the ring off, afraid of it slipping off in the shower. As she 
went to set it down on the counter, she noticed something on the inside of 
the band. When she looked at it more closely, she noticed that it was 
engraved. It said, "Me to my love and my love to me." She clutched the ring 
in her hand and said "Hurry home, my love!"

THE END