From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:57:12 EDT
Subject: Neglected Necklace
Source: direct

F.B.I Headquarters
7:52 p.m.

In her office, Special Agent Dana Scully was practically punching the living 
crap out of her life-size doll, Susie. You see, after the Annual Golden Globe 
Awards, she was pretty ticked off when Freddie Prinze Jr. didn't win Best 
Actor or something like that. So, she turned to her trusty, handy-dandy book 
"1,010 Ways to Cause Serious Bodily Harm". In the middle of a sidekick, the 
phone rang. Started by the noise, she lost control and rammed her foot into 
the side of her desk. Maddened by the feeling of defeat, she yanked the phone 
out of the jack and hurled it into the wall. As she held the mutilated phone 
at gunpoint, she yelled,"I'd just love to see you try and use your 
smart-alecky wit to get you out of this one!"
"Uh...Scully? Are you feeling okay?" Mulder asked.
Sickened by embarrassment, she said,"I thought you went home."
"I did, but I left some papers here. When I called to see if you could fax 
them over, I got disconnected." Once he left, she returned to her violent 
behavior. Mulder sighed when he heard her scream,"Don't even try to mess with 
me, you quadruped!"
The next morning, Scully was in her normal start until she put on her gold 
cross necklace. Then she did a triple back flip and went crashing through the 
window, landing onto the pavement. Meanwhile, Mulder was in Skinner's office. 
Both of them were surprised that Scully was late. Then they heard a huge, 
raging noise outside. When Mulder went to the window, he saw hundreds upon 
hundreds of people running and screaming down the street. Behind them was 
Scully with a whole herd of wild dogs. She was running and screaming,"After 
them! Kill them all! Hahahahahahaha!" Just then, the whole police department 
(they all get bored after a long period of time without any crimes) got a 
hold of the flailing, insane woman. "Not the chair! Anything but the chair!" 
Scully was irrepressibly yelling.
"Don't worry maam. We're not going...." but the police officer was unable to 
finish his sentence because Mulder got his attention and persuaded him to let 
Scully go. In Skinner's office, their boss started yelling,"Agent Scully! 
What is the meaning of all this?!"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, obviously not remembering the whole 
incident. Just then, Mulder came in.
"Scully, you must have dropped this outside," he said as he handed her the 
necklace. Once she put it on, she returned back to her former state. 
Turning to Skinner, Scully yelled,"So, what you are saying, Skinner, is that 
you killed my sister?!"
"No, I never said....."
"You are going down! Do you hear me?" Scully screamed as she stormed out of 
the room. In her apartment, Scully was plotting revenge on Skinner as she was 
pegging a picture of him over and over again with arrows. As Mulder was 
walking down the hallway, he heard her scream,"Death abide unto you, but 
victory shall be mine!" Not a good time, Mulder thought as he left.
Well, I need to start wrapping this up. So, Scully got in another situation 
where she was at gunpoint with Skinner, but Mulder stepped in once again and 
shot them both. He missed all vital organs, but they had a hard time 
regaining their trust in each other. Of course, Mulder was put on probation, 
but that only increased his curiosity into the paranormal. Don't ask me how, 
but we have to give some meaning to this story. Oh yeah, the reason why the 
necklace made Scully go crazy was because it was infected with a paranormal 
substance that was created by the government and Scully was being used as a 
test subject. Now then, did everyone else love reading about Scully going 
psycho as much as I like writing it? 

The moral of this story is to make some inanimate object a vital part of your 
meaningless, pointless life. I mean, you need something to keep you sane, 
right? Man, I need some coffee.