"Never For You..."  An X-Files Novel  - Chapter  7/23  -Not Anymore-  Pt. I
by  L. McCullen

---------------------------------

[Not Anymore]


Motel 6
Phoenix, Arizona
September 13
11:26 PM PST


Slamming the briefcase down, the woman took a deep breath.  One full
of resignation and frustration.  Being so far away when things were just
beginning to get good wasn't as frustrating as being sent on a case that
should have been handled quite easily by the locals.

Her cell phone trilling loudly into the night, reminded her of the
excruciating headache she was suffering from.

"Scully."

"It's me, Scully"

"Mulder?"

"Yeah, sorry.  Did I wake you?"

"No, no.  I was just getting ready for bed.  I had a long day in the
morgue.  I'm kind of tired."

Relieved not to have disturbed her rest, he pursued his own need.  "I'll be
quick then.   I ..... I just wanted to hear your voice."

The thin line between want and need was being blurred more everyday.

Scully smiled into the receiver.  "Mulder?  It's almost 2:30 in the
morning on your side of the country.  Can't sleep?"  Thoughts of him
were dancing in her head as well when he called.

"You know sleeping isn't my strong suit, Scully."

"It wouldn't hurt if you tried using a bed once in while."

Unaware of his own implications, "I don't do very well in beds."

Stifling an ego bruising comeback, she chose a safer route.  "And all
this time because I thought you couldn't sleep."

A grunt could be heard that was soon followed by, "I think I'm
offended."

"I could have done worse, Mulder.... you left yourself wide open for
that one."

"I think I'm offended..."

Laughing out loud over the phone, Scully amused herself with his never
ending sense of humor.  Moving on, she didn't want to delve deeper
into his sleeping habits.  "Anything interesting going on at the
office?"

"Not really.  The usual bureaucratic bull.  How's your case going?"

"We should be home by Wednesday.  The local field office will get this
one back after all.........  Mulder is something wrong?"

"No, Scully.... I just missed you, that's all."

"I know... "  For a few seconds the line was quiet while each of them
considered the changing nature of their relationship.

Interrupting the tranquillity, "So, Agent Scully, what are you wearing?"

The old familiar game of wit and banter was firmly in place again.
Softly, "Oh, you really don't want me to answer that do you?"

"You never answered me the first time I asked you."

Scully's mind slipped back to the time she sat at her kitchen table as
she cleaned her gun with her phone jammed between her ear and
shoulder.

"Well, let's see.  I just sat down on the bed..... I'm wearing the
navy blue pantsuit.... you know, the one with the zipper along
the front of the jacket.  Nothing out of the ordinary.. sorry, Mulder."

"Ahh...... one of my favorites."

"You have favorites," she asked in disbelief.

"Of course.  You've always been a sharp dresser, you know that."

"Glad you appro....ve." She replied trying to stifle the yawn.

"I'll let you go, Scully.  I know you're tired."

"Yeah, we'll continue our wardrobe comparison some more tomorrow."

"Promises, promises....."

"Goodnight, Mulder."

"Hey, Scully?  Give me a call on Wednesday when you arrive at the
airport, I'll give you a ride home."

"Sure."

"Night, Scully."


*************


Scully made several road-trips, but always kept in contact with Mulder.
Pumping him for ideas and wild theories to 'spook' her partner, she
never realized how much fun Mulder had been having all these years.
Calling him every night while away from D.C., they talked for hours and
were content to hear each other's voice.  They were partners again,
in a deeper sense.



September 29th
San Francisco, CA
6:48 PM

After a long day of interrogating a suspect, Scully settled into the booth
her partner had picked out in a roadside restaurant.  Waiting for him to
return before she ordered, her thoughts invariably traveled about three
thousand miles east towards her old partner and friend Fox Mulder.   It
had been almost two month since Mulder and her decided that living
without each other in their lives wasn't something they wanted.  It
had been a long road in which to travel, but a test that spoke loudly to
each other's hearts.

Agent Holland returned to find Scully staring out the window into the
distance unaware of her surroundings.  Reaching for his menu, he tried
to be obvious about his return. Holland wasn't stupid, nor was he in the
dark.  Scully had confided in him the whole story of the 'Mulder years'
as she sometimes called them, the separation between them and their
recent reconciliation.

As he watched his partner continue to stare out the window, Holland
looked down to his hands and saw the band of gold on his left ring
finger.  He remembered back to the time when he and his wife, Denise
had separated a short time after their initial engagement.  Although
it wasn't as long as the one Mulder and Scully had imposed on
themselves, nor was their separation as tumultuous, it reminded him of
the time when he too had chanced a permanent separation to find out if
what his heart was telling him was right.

Nudging the menu against Scully's forearm, she awoke from her
daydream.  "Oh sorry, Larry.  Didn't mean to leave you there."

"How long has it been, Dana?"

Seeing the twinkle in his eye, she knew her session of staring aimlessly
out the window couldn't go without a question or two.  What was even
more disconcerting was the fact he knew exactly where her mind had
been for the past thirty minutes. For that matter, where her mind had
been the past day or so.   "Two days."

"You didn't call him last night?"

"Couldn't..... he's heading up the stakeout with D.T.U."

"Abraham?"  Holland inquired.

"Yep..." Scully smiled back, knowing that the profile Mulder and her
had worked on together was about to catch the terrorist.

"So I take it..... things are progressing well...... with Mulder that is?"

Scully was a little unsure on how to answer.  This was the first time she
would have to respond to a direct question about her renewed
relationship with Mulder.  Glancing out the window for a second, she
pulled her thoughts together trying to relay the information from her
heart to her mind.  "You could say that.  We're doing just fine."

Holland raised one side of his mouth to mimic the grin she was having a
hard time holding in.  "From the way you've been acting the last couple
of weeks, I'd say you  guys are doing a little better than fine."

It was said in a questioning tone that also exuded the message of trust
and complete confidence a partner should have.  Just like the
partnership she had once shared with Mulder.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Dana, but you look ... well you look ...
more at ease than I've ever seen you look these past few weeks."

Sheepishly, Scully studied the menu.  Suddenly looking up, she
continued the conversation that her partner thought was over.  "Have
you ever had an idea that seemed so foreign one day, seem so incredibly
right the next?"

Searching for her deeper meaning, "I suppose..... we all change our
minds on occasion."

"I don't know if it was a change of mind as much as a change of
circumstance."

Her cryptic reply really had Holland interested now.  The partner he
knew as logical and grounded had just offered an incredibly personal
introspective that spoke of karma, maybe even destiny.  She could see
Holland was twisting in the wind trying to figure her last statement out,
so she elaborated.

"Larry, when Mulder and I were partners, we were close.  You know
about my ....missing time, my cancer, and our sisters.  We saw each
other through some rough times.   But in the same sense we were also
two different people,  at times almost removed from one another."

"Was that the reason you two had problems after the 'down-sizing?'"
Holland always found unique ways of referring to her time with Mulder
without wanting to mention his name.  After becoming her partner, he
had heard the stories about her and Mulder that floated around the
building, as well as the persistent gossip that always seemed to
accompany them.

Every time his name was mentioned in those early days of their
partnership, he saw the same reaction run over her face.  A warm feeling
of remembering old times soon to be followed with the pain of an
unconfronted past.

"Maybe.  I just never thought I could .... WE could be this close after all
we've been through...."

After a few moments more of thinking it over.  ".....and somewhere in
the back of my mind......I never thought we wouldn't be this close,
eventually."

Pulling out his own cell phone, Holland pushed it across the table to her
remembering she had left hers in the car.  She would remember this
moment and his words for years to come.

"Then what are you waiting for, partner?"



*************



Friday, October 1,
Fox Mulder's Apartment
Alexandria, Virginia
6:45 PM



After throwing his keys down on the table and flipping through his mail,
his phone rang.  Knowing Scully was due back from the west coast
anytime  he wasn't surprised to hear his phone ring.   Picking up his
cell phone, "Mulder."

"It's me."  She sounded a little out of breath.

"Hey, you back?"

"Yeah......can you be here in half an hour?"

"Sure, what's up?"  Mulder heard a siren in background and the distinct
sound of a police radio.  "What's wrong, Scully?"

"My place was broken into.  I....I surprised the robber when I got home.
It looks like he went through my stuff and a couple of my neighbor's as
well."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.  He knocked me over when he was running out of the
apartment.  I didn't even get a good look at him...."

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

He was walking out the door retrieving his coat as he left.  Taking as
many liberties with local speed limits as possible.   Arriving at her
apartment building on the south side of Annapolis, he saw the yellow
crime scene tape and police cars out front as he expected. An eerie
feeling of familiarity came over him.

Fishing out his credentials he showed them to the police officer
guarding the scene, just in front of a growing crowd of on-lookers.

"Mulder, FBI.  I'm looking for Dana Scully?"

"If it's one of the residents I think she went back into her apartment,
sir."

Mulder made his way to her front door seeing the Annapolis PD dust
for fingerprints.  He paused to see her lock had been 'jimmied.'

Entering the apartment he saw Scully sitting away from him being
questioned by a detective.  Her trenchcoat still hanging loosely from her
shoulders, a paramedic was busy checking her pupils.

Flashing his badge at the Detective to announce himself, he noticed
Scully jumped a little at the sudden surprise of another voice.  She
turned to see Mulder and rose to embrace him.  Detective Peter Sharpe
introduced and then excused himself.

Pulling back to look at her face, he noticed a small cut near the top of
her hair line that had been recently dressed.   A small bump surrounded
the bandage signifying she had most likely hit her head against
something sharp.  Seeing the relief in her eyes at his presence, he
touched her forehead lightly.

"O.K.?"

Breathing deeply, she relaxed into his arms.  "Yeah, I'm fine."   Pulling
tightly at his waist, she turned her head onto his shoulder reveling in
the sturdy frame of her best friend, the only one she could ever want to
make her feel better.

Standing there with her in his arms, Mulder thought about how natural
this felt.  Since their reconciliation, back in August, they were more
open towards each other in all aspects.  Emotionally, spiritually as well
as physically.  The woman he only knew as his salvation and strength
fit into his arms like she belonged there as he stroked her back letting
her feel safe again.

Detective Sharpe came back to the living area.  "Dr. Scully, your door-
locks were compromised during the break-in.  I've suggested to your
neighbors that they might want to find other arrangements for tonight
as well, if it will make you feel better.  We're going to be here a while,
collecting evidence.  Unfortunately this is not the only break-in in
your neighborhood lately.  We'll leave an officer here at the building
overnight to guard your possessions.  If you can remember any more
details, here's my card.  Please feel free to call me."

Mulder noticed the forlorn look on Scully's face as she went to see the
door and the broken locks for herself.

"Detective Sharpe," Mulder spoke up, "will it be okay to start repairs in
the morning?"

"Yeah, these guys will only be a few more hours in case you plan on
staying here."  Sharpe walked back to his officers collecting more data.

Scully returned to Mulder's side.  "Don't argue with me, Scully, go get a
bag packed.  I'll take you to your Mom's.  If not for your sake, then at
least for mine."

Mulder waited while Scully slipped into her bedroom to retrieve a few
items.  Watching the forensic guys from the Annapolis police, he
offered his own services at examining the scene supplying a few ideas
for Sharpe to cover.

As she returned to Mulder's side with an overnight bag, Mulder
couldn't help but ask.  "Scully, did you find anything missing?"

Looking around to her valuables, she started doing a mental inventory.
"Not that I can tell, Mulder.  TV is still here, computer, stereo.......
Nothing I can tell right off."

"Could you tell what he hit you with?"

Reliving the encounter in her mind she replayed that moment where her
back was turned and something hard hit her in the back of the head
thrusting her forward into the armoire next to the door.  "It was
definitely not his fist. It was something hard....a glancing blow
maybe.."

"Where is your gun?"

Scully felt around to her back and reassured herself it was still there.  "I
didn't even get a chance to sit down, let alone take my coat off."

"How about your other gun?"

Her Whalter PPK .380 that she had since the academy.  It was the first
gun she carried during their partnership.  Not used to carrying firearms,
the Bureau let her and others carry a smaller weapon in order to get
used to it.  It wasn't a slight to women, it was an understanding that
safety came first.  A woman or anyone for that matter who wasn't
comfortable carrying the standard issue high capacity Smith and
Wesson could be a liability.

Scully carried it for the first year before switching to the S & W.  She
used hand grips to strengthen her hands and practiced loading,
unloading and cocking it relentlessly.  It wasn't until after she was
certified with it that she realized the improved hand strength also made
autopsy's easier.  Thinking back to the last time she had seen it, she
rushed into her bedroom and rummaged through her nightstand drawer.
The gun was gone along with the brown leather hip holster it
permanently resided in.

Staring back at Mulder who now stood in the doorway he received her
message.  Her eyes bore a certain amount of confusion and fear.  Why
would someone break in and bypass all other non-traceable valuables
just to steal a gun?  Not that it wasn't valuable either, but it wasn't
usually a first option now with all the gun laws.  Practiced burglars
knew that if they were caught with a gun in their possession the
penalties were devastating compared to a plain case of breaking and
entering.

Then again, the increased gun laws had made it difficult to get hold of
weapons.  After filing off the serial numbers it would be untraceable.
Illegal, but untraceable.  Having a legal firearm was a not much concern
to the criminals either.

Detective Sharpe was informed of the missing gun.  Scully produced the
paperwork with serial numbers and made a short statement.

Studying the apartment with her a sudden deja-vu came to him.  Maybe
the robber was looking for someone instead of some things.  Shuddering
at the thought, he put his arm around Scully.  "You ready?"

Smiling up at him, sensing he had detected her desire to leave, "Yeah,
let's go."

Exiting the building they fought through on-lookers and the curious.
Mulder opened the door and helped her in making sure she didn't re-
aggravate the wounds on her head.

Sliding into the driver's side, he thumbed through his keys and brought
the engine to life.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, but I'm a little hungry, Mulder.  Let's stop somewhere."

Finding something to put her at ease,  "As long as your buying," he
said offering a wink.



*************

Sewell's Restaurant
8:32 PM


Arriving at a place familiar with casual dining,  the bar was centered in
the place surrounded by a few televisions displaying the latest sports
news and current events.  An atmosphere of young professionals
infused the air as they found their table offered to them by the
waitress.

Scully, for the most part, had been quiet on the ride over.   He let her
drift in thought after a few minutes letting her reflect on the past few
hours events.

Looking around at the relaxed and somewhat festive atmosphere,
Mulder noticed quite a lot of singles hanging around the bar.

"So this is what we were supposed to be doing all those Friday nights
when were younger."

Hoping to break her out of her preoccupation, Mulder's witty comment
fell on deaf ears.  Taking her hand from across the table, she flinched
again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you, Scully."

She held onto his hand tighter apologizing for jumping the second time
that night.  "I'm just a little shaken.  No matter how many times it
happens, the thought of someone breaking into my apartment ....."

Squeezing back, "I know.  Tell you what.  I'll pick you up from your
mom's place tomorrow morning, we'll go shopping for a new deadbolt
and I'll help you install it.   God knows, I've had to replace mine enough.
The landlord probably won't replace your old one that you bought, not
quickly anyway."

Her mind definitely not focused on what Mulder was saying, Scully
offered a weak smile in approval.

"What?" Mulder looked puzzled.

Coming back to Mulder, Scully let him in on her concern. "I don't want
my mother to worry about me.  If she finds out about another break-in
at my place, I think she'll try to make me move back in with her."

"She'll probably read about it in the paper."

"Even so, I just don't want to deal with her tonight."

Remembering the sights and sounds of a distraught Margaret Scully on
more than one occasion he suggested another option.  "You want me to
take you to a hotel?"

Almost immediately he regretted the offer.  Scully was all too familiar
with hotels in all shapes and sizes.  Another uncomfortable bed in a stale
room with little to do.

Scully nodded her head in approval, not wanting to display her lack of
enthusiasm for spending another night in a hotel room after living in
one for the last week over three thousand miles away.

"Or......." Thinking over the situation and the events of the last few
weeks, Mulder offered another solution. "Would you want to stay at my
place tonight?"  Mulder hoped the offer wasn't too forward.

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Mind?  Of course not. Maybe we can rent a movie.......besides,"
Mulder held an evil looking gleam in his eye,  "it'll finally get you into
my bed."

Scully could only shake her head, wondering how she walked right into
that one.  "You don't have a bed, Mulder."

"How would you know?"  He shot back cleverly.

Dinner arrived and they lost themselves in conversation.  Forgetting
about her apartment for a while, she concentrated on Mulder and the
time they were together.  How easy it had become to accept him back
into her life, as if the year apart had never happened.   At times it was a
little unsettling how they were together again.  Together in an entirely
new way.  The close friendship they had once had as partners was now
being  replaced with something deeper built on a real desire for one
another's company and as always trust.  Trust so inherently and freely
given it was all they knew.

Forgoing the movie they arrived back at Mulder's place.  He excused
himself to prepare the 'guest' room he called it.  After a few minutes, she
followed him into the bedroom to see for herself.

Mulder was busy changing the sheets when she entered.  She had been
in Mulder's apartment many times, but hadn't ventured into the bedroom
wanting to preserve his privacy, hoping he might one day observe hers.

"That's a nice bed, Mulder.  Why don't you ever use it?"

Mulder stiffened at the long forgotten memory and offered an anemic
excuse. "I do sometimes, when the couch starts to hurt my back, or if
I'm sick.  I don't think I've used it in a couple of months I guess."

He finished tucking the sheets and comforter in and sat down to
appraise its comfort.  "It's pretty firm, I don't know if you'll like it."

Sitting down next to him, she bounced a few times to decide for herself.
"It's not bad.  Kind of like mine at home."  They sat there in relative
silence for a few seconds aware of the close proximity of one another on
the same bed.

Scully grabbed his hand, pulling it into her lap.  "Thanks Mulder.
Thanks for being there for me tonight."

Feeling the gratitude was unneeded, but not unwelcome, "Anytime, you
know that."

Releasing his hand from hers, she leaned into his shoulder, a sign of the
support she had so often took from him.  "Yes, I do know."

Slanting his eyes towards her, "This wouldn't be the inappropriate time
to say you look kind of cute in that bandage, would it?"

Shaking her head, again trying to hide her demure smile, she pulled him
up.  "Come on Mulder, I think the couch awaits us."

After catching the news, Scully had fallen asleep on his shoulder again.
He woke her up gently and asked if she was ready for bed.  She found
her way to the bathroom, grabbing her bag on the way. A few minutes
later she emerged in a silk bathrobe that covered her pajamas only
slightly.  Free of makeup and other accessories, she walked over to
Mulder.

He looked up from the television seeing she was ready to call it a night.
"What time do you want to get up?"

"I'll be up around eight or so.  Goodnight Mulder."  She leaned down
and kissed him on the cheek.

"Night, Scully."


*************


4:33 AM

After falling asleep on the couch a little after midnight, Mulder woke up
after his normal four hours of sleep.  Usually he would turn on the tube
and vegetate to the sounds of whatever was on that didn't totally bore
him.  He often wondered if this produced a more relaxed state of rest
than sleep.  This night, however, he had a guest that he didn't want to
wake.

Instead he pulled the television around to face him and turned it on
leaving the sound muted revealing the close captioned transcript.  The
lights of the television reflected off the walls and created a semi-strobe
effect that soothed him.

"Mulder?"

Sitting up quickly, he saw Scully standing in the doorway beyond the
living room dressed in her pajamas without the robe.  "I'm sorry,
Scully.... did I wake you?"

Shuffling over to join him, she sat on the coffee table in front of him.
"No... I've been awake for awhile now."

Mulder was reclined into the back of his couch and studied her eyes
trying to understand her meaning. "You okay?"

Regretting the question as soon as it left his mouth, he saw her
sheepish smile telling him she was 'fine.' as usual.   "Just can't get back
to east coast time, yet..... not to mention one hell of a headache."

"Wait right here..."  Mulder wandered off to the kitchen to retrieve
some aspirin and a glass of water.

"Here you go.  Now turn around."

Not quite sure she heard what she thought she had, Scully saw his
finger twirling around in the air motioning for her to turn herself around
on the coffee table.

"I've seen the bump on your forehead, now I want to see the one on the
back."  Scully twisted around and propped her legs over the far edge
while Mulder sat on the front edge of the couch.

Gently starting at the top of her scalp he let his fingers wander down
until he felt the small knot that had formed about halfway down on the
back of her head.  He slowly parted the hair to see if the skin was
broken.  As his fingers reached the summit of the small bump, he felt her
wince a little at his touch.

"Sorry, Scully....."

"It's okay... it probably looks worse than it feels."

"No wonder you can't sleep."

With her hair still parted roughly down the center of her head, he
noticed the scar from the implant at the base of her neck.  His fingers
slowly glided down through her hair and faintly danced over almost
imperceptible bump.

Feeling her stiffen slightly, "Sorry..... I've just always been curious."

"It's part of who I am I guess."

Another minute of quiet tranquillity pervaded.  Instinctively, Mulder
brought his other hand up and gently massaged the slight tension in
her shoulders.

"Oh God, Mulder."  Scully arched her back into his hands.  Lolling her
head backwards she let another moan of satisfaction escape as she
twisted her back helping him find the right place to work his magic.

"Don't tell me you've had this talent all along and never shared it with
me."

Continuing his newfound labor of love, he dug his thumbs into a
particular spot just below her shoulder blades.  Another gasp came from
her as she flushed with embarrassment at how good his hands felt.

Leaning into her, Mulder parked his mouth just behind her ear and
seductively whispered, "You never asked."

Releasing the pressure, he slowed down in order to bring her down.
The one thing he had learned about a great back-rub was to always
leave your subjects wanting more.

"Better?"  Mulder asked as he stopped his motions and scratched her
lightly on the back.

"Yeah, I think I need a cigarette, though."  Scully turned back around
to catch his reaction.

Laughing quietly at her taunting remark, "You've not felt anymore urges
to seek out bridges in the middle of the night, have you?"  The humor
he used to mask the real fear behind his question was weak.

Regarding him with utmost sobriety.  "No.  No more ... collect calls."
Using his own pet name for the incident that had happened back at
Ruskin Dam put him at ease a little.

Looking over to the television, "Do you always sleep so little?"

Yawning, "I'm usually good for about four to six hours, then I'm back
up....it depends."  It was a subtle exploration of facts that she had long
wondered about.

Wringing her hands together she studied her fingers as they entwined
with one another.   "During the last year or two.... I developed a habit
of waking up at odd intervals in the night unable to relax.  You know...
just too keyed up... I would usually take a shower or a soak in the tub to
wind down again...."


End of "Never for You..."  Chapter 7/23 -Not Anymore- Pt. I

"Never For You..."  An X-Files Novel  - Chapter  7/23  -Not Anymore-
by  L. McCullen

---------------------------------

Hearing her voice grow despondent, he couldn't resist the attempt to
cheer her up.  "Well look at the bright side. Now you know I'm up this
early you can call me and let me bore you to sleep again."

Achieving the desired affect, Mulder saw her head dip and her eyes
avert, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of putting a smile on her
face.  "If you don't mind, I'm gonna borrow your shower."   Scully
pushed up from the table and attempted to make her way to the
bathroom.

Halfway there, "Scully?"

Sleepily she turned around to see what he wanted.  "Nice pajamas."

She left him there with a smirk on his face while she shook her head
wondering if his mind ever stopped its persistently sly remarks.

The warm water trickling down was hard.  A by-product of city water in
Alexandria, she couldn't quite get used to the smell.  It was bad enough
she had gotten used to the rough towels that were washed in hard water
which scraped her skin at practically every hotel she had ever been to,
but this was supposed to be someone's home.  This was Mulder's home.
Something about being in his shower for the first time brought up some
interesting, if not amusing  thoughts of her former partner.

Twenty minutes later, Mulder could hear his hair dryer running as
Scully was finishing up in the bathroom.  Emerging a few minutes later
back in her silk robe she looked refreshed and more relaxed than she had
since being back in town.

Coming back out to the living room with his first-aid kit in hand, she re-
took her position on the coffee table and handed him the box.

"I need you to dress this for me."  Scully said pointing to the uncovered
injury on the side of her forehead.

"Dressing Scully?  One of my fantasies come true."  Mulder smirked.
He opened the kit and fumbled around for the sterile stitches and gauze
tape he kept in there avoiding her look of doom over his last remark.  If
he had a chanced a look, he would have been surprised to see her
blush.  Needless to say, it was not a normal Scully reaction.

Reminding him of a long ago event below an icy plain in the Antarctica,
"I thought that fantasy had already come true."  Figuring she must have
been practicing, Mulder couldn't quite get over how much fun Scully
was to play with.  She had come a long way in their game.

Delicately he sterilized the wound and affixed the bandage just as she
had taught him all those years ago.  She had plenty of practice time to
teach him in their line of work whether it was her getting patched up or
him.  Working slowly, he made careful work, trying not to inflict more
pain as his fingers found their way around her forehead..

As careful as Mulder was at not causing more pain, Scully was enjoying
the feather light touch of Mulder's fingers stirring a distant and low
buzzing sensation she could feel seeping throughout her body. If there
ever was such a thing as a `contact-buzz,' this was her evidence.  The
sensations had been coming more recently as well as the emotions
pouring out of her, so easily for the first time in her life.

Finishing up, Mulder could see her getting a little drowsy.  Leaning
back to appraise his work, he announced,  "All set."

Scully picked up the small mirror that came with the kit and looked
herself.  "Not bad,  Mulder.  I might just make a nurse out of you yet."

"It's still pretty early, you gonna go back to bed?"

"I've got a better idea."

Without hesitation she recalled the Sunday afternoon on his couch and
how good it had felt to be next to him.  Wordlessly sliding off the coffee
table she sat beside him on the couch.  Instinctively, she motioned for
him to lay back.

Assuming as well as hoping what she had in mind, Mulder propped a
knee up against the back of the couch and watched her slide in so that
she used him as a giant pillow, leaning back against his chest.  Finding a
comfortable angle to rest her head at, she relaxed and  drew his arms
around her midsection.  The satin of her robe, coupled with his strong
arms made her feel safe and comfortable as she pondered her early
morning actions.

Minutes later, when all was calm again, the weight of her movements
sank into both of them.

"Mulder?"

Without opening his eyes, "Hmm?"

"What's happening here?"

Still resting his eyes, "I thought we were trying to get you back to
sleep."

"No.... I mean ... what's happening with us?"

His eyes popping open, he feared that she was uneasy by being in this
position  "If this is uncomfortable...."

"I just can't forget how close we were... how things were between us.....
when it all seemed to slip away... so easily."

Talk of that time was had become easier, but would always haunt them.
A necessary evil that was required for them to move on to better things.
Laying back against him, she was aware that the position she was now
in was something that was inevitable.  For so long she had lived without
the comforting presence of someone else to lean against.  Once thought
of as a weakness or something un-required for living, she felt his arms
tighten around her waist and let the smile fall back to her face.

One of his fingers gently moved hypnotically back and forth across her
robe almost imperceptibly.  Looking down to see if it was really moving
like she thought, Scully couldn't help but imagine those hands sliding
upwards to encircle her breasts and apply the same movements.  Her
mind drifting on the edge of sleep considered the possibility and found
renewed interest of its potentiality, knowing the man behind her would
never take advantage of her in this or any situation.

Another surge of love and admiration for Mulder coursing through her,
Scully turned over in his embrace, using his shoulder as a pillow for her
cheek.  As close as they had ever been before this was probably the
most intimate position they had ever found themselves in.   Sleepily
wondering out loud, "Is this where we should be going?"

Rubbing her back in a comforting manner, "We've been going there for
a long time,  Scully."

A few minutes passed, finding them deep in their thoughts.  Thoughts
of where they had been and where they were directed.  Her silence was
troubling to him.  "You don't have any reservations about this, do you?"

Halfway serious and with an edge of veiled humor, "I'm sure I could
come up with a few, but I don't think they would matter now, would
they?"

Relieved at her answer, he had always thought that if they were to
pursue this course, it would have to be her call.  He would urge for it,
maybe even ask for it, but it was all falling in to place. "Your logic is so
overwhelming sometimes, it scares me."

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind if we took our time getting there?"

He kissed her on the temple.  With that, Scully squeezed him tighter
letting him know  how much she appreciated his understanding.  "As
long as it takes."


*************


Scully's Apartment
Saturday, October 2,
11:12 AM

Mulder found an old drill he had once bought a long time ago to fix
his doors which always had a knack for getting kicked in over the years
and took it with him.  Finding a hardware store, he let her pick out what
she thought would do the job.  Adding a chain-link bolt to her selection
they made their way back to Annapolis to see her apartment.

After showing their identification to the patrolman still on duty, they
made it to her place.  For the most part, it was intact.  A few items
strewn around here and there.  She picked the place up while Mulder
installed the locks.  Drilling the holes in the door and lining up the
appropriate lock settings he tried them out to make sure they were
secure.

"Scully, I think you're in business."

She walked over and pulled at the door herself.  It was more secure now
than it had probably ever been. Even though her building had another
lock at the front door, it was obviously easy to get past.

"Mulder,  I never knew you were a handy man."

"I'm not really.  Just pretty good at reading directions."  Mulder held out
his hand and dropped the two keys that came in the package into the
palm of hers.  "Here you go.  Good as new."

Studying the keys in her hand for a minute, she took one and placed it
back into Mulder's hand.  "Keep it.  You might need it someday."

*************


They spent the rest of the day out shopping, walking around and
enjoying something that 'normal' people did.  Strolling through the local
mall, Scully couldn't resist the newfound freedom she felt with Mulder
and their developing relationship.  She reached down and took his hand
in hers.  Looking up to catch his reaction, she wasn't surprised to see
the approval on his face.

Stopping to sit on an empty bench, she pulled him down to join her.
"What stopped us before, Mulder?"

The conversation from earlier this morning was picking up as if they
were still lying in each other's arms.  Two friends growing closer by the
second, reaching towards one another, searching for what had been
absent from their lives for so long.

"You are full of questions today, aren't you?"

Seeing that she was serious, he wanted to keep to their promise of
communicating openly, holding nothing back.  Looking out towards the
crowds of people, he settled his eyes on a store across the way that
dealt in the service of selling and repairing timepieces.

"I think in our time with the X-files, we were so caught up in the
work..... we were so driven to an aim that whatever free time wasn't
devoted to outside of  work, it was spent with others.   You had your
family..... and after being together sometimes seventy to ninety hours
a week.... I guess we weren't too willing to socialize much."

"I spent it alone, mostly."  Scully replied honestly.

Another morsel of information Scully was willing to part with.  Sitting
there for a moment, he considered their hands together before catching
her eyes again. "Not anymore, Scully."

It was then that she knew.  Maybe she had always known, but her ever
persistent scientific mind would always beg for proof.  Evidence of what
she thought was happening between them was now firmly seated in
front of her in the form of three words. 'Not anymore, Scully.'
Not the typical three little words you hoped to hear from the person you
were falling in love with, but from Mulder, it said a lot.

It was truly a rare sight.  One that scarcely saw the light of day, but it
was there again,  like it had been  frequently these past few weeks.  A
smile that slowly crept up her face as she would fight against it, losing
the battle to her eyes and curved lips.  She would dip her head and let
her hair drape over the left side of her face as she felt the delight in her
heart overcome her senses.  A feeling she never quite thought she
would get used to.

Mulder had seen that smile before.  Once as he gave her a birthday
present.  Another time when he brought her flowers on that horrible day
she told him about the cancer.  The most marvelous one when she
told him her cancer was in remission.  She was smiling more often
these days and every time he saw one, a little bit of his guilt would be
chipped away.  For that he would love her even more.

Seeing her struggle.  "Look at me, Scully."

Fearing he had noticed, she put back on her regular mask.  "What?"

"Why do you try and hide it?"

"What?"

"Your smile."

"What smile?"

"The one you like to pretend you don't have.  The one you like to cover
by looking away when you're with me."

"Do I?"  She asked with sincere interest.

"Around me at least.  You don't want me to see it.  Like when we were
partners, you would never laugh at my jokes."  He said teasing.

"I guess I never thought they were funny."  She came back.

"They weren't THAT bad."

"They weren't that good either, Mulder."

Mulder laughed to himself at her comebacks.  She was always willing to
hold her own, making him work for the points.

"Come on, let's go to the grocery store, it's my turn to cook."



Scully's Apartment
7:18 PM

Scully had stopped at the wine section at her local store.  It was a newer
market full of  strange foods and delicate items that Mulder could have
never dreamed existed.  Being that most of the items in there he had
never heard of before, he walked around studying strange spices and
ethnic food items.  Scully made her usual rounds and picked out a nice
dinner wine that was several years old.

Arriving home, she began dinner while Mulder paced the kitchen
looking for something  to do.  "Mulder, get out! I appreciate your
helpfulness, but you're getting in the way.  Go find something on
television or something.  I'll call you when dinner's ready."

The table was set, soft music was playing and only one thing was
missing.

Mulder.

She gently slipped down onto the couch on one knee
and debated briefly on how to wake him up.  His head lay on the back
on the top of the sofa tilted slightly to her side.  Even over forty years
old, he had a youthful but perpetually tired face while sleeping.

Intent on waking him gently, Scully stopped to notice his condition.
Momentarily thinking about their first real kiss outside his apartment
when they were being driven apart by the Bureau, she remembered how
time had slowed and their heartbeats had grown louder.  Even without
the fulfillment of the attempt, Scully would always consider it their first.
The intent was there and if it weren't for one of mother nature's
creations, where they would be now was a total mystery.

Soundly asleep, Mulder woke up to the sensation of Scully's warm
inviting lips nipping at his bottom one.  His eyes fluttered open and
Scully pulled away into a warm smile.  For a few seconds, they sat
there, not sure how to proceed.

The taste of an already opened bottle of wine on her lips, Mulder could
also see the desire in her eyes.  Feeling his own grow exponentially, he
ran the back of his fingers along her cheek pushing a few strands of hair
behind her ear.

Ever so slowly, Scully descended again and began stroking her lips
together against his,  eager to deepen the kiss.  She briefly ran her
tongue over the surface of his lips awaiting consent. Feeling her tongue
begin to explore his mouth, he responded in kind, no longer able to
passively participate.

Reaching his arm around her  waist, he pulled her into his lap and
exuberantly returned the kiss that was growing in intensity by the
second.  Framing her face within his hands he slowly made his way to
her bottom lip and spent a fair amount of time lavishing it with his
tongue.

Unable to stop the passions of their encounter, Mulder stroked her back
and settled his hand at the swell of her hips.  Continuing to forge on,
Scully ran her hand through his hair, pulling his mouth to an angle
seeking greater access to him.  Many minutes later, they were out of
breath.

Pulling back, Scully smiled.  "Dinner's ready."


Dinner, as it went, was spent mostly in silence as they both considered
their behavior on the couch.  It was, after all, the natural progression,
even though this relationship had been anything but natural. Finishing,
Scully grabbed the wine and their glasses and instructed Mulder to
meet her on the couch. She changed the music on the stereo and joined
him sitting right up against him.

Tilting her head up she noticed Mulder was reserved and within himself,
almost afraid to say anything.  Looking back down, she speculated if
the earlier exchange had been premature.

Mulder had seen her glance and was hoping she wasn't regretting her
actions the previous time on the couch.   Even after the conversation
early this morning, he was still unsure if this was really happening.   It
felt so nice to hold her, to kiss her.  To show the person he cared about
most how much she meant to him in the way he had only dreamed
about.

The topic hung in the air and gave birth to the stillness as Mulder's
thoughts clouded his mind.  Scully knew that where they had been and
where things were going would soon need more discussion if not
clarification.  Their history was too serious and full of potential pitfalls
to give into one carnal meeting that could possibly pressure one if the
other wasn't ready.

Wrapping his arm protectively around Scully, Mulder went first.
"We've been close before, but something always held us back...I don't
want to push you into anything if...."

Before he could finish, "No, Mulder ... I don't think you were the one
pushing, if I remember correctly."

A slight nudge into his ribs relieved him, knowing she was comfortable
with the current pace of  developments.

Mulder just nodded his head and considered her thoughts.

"This isn't going to be easy, is it?"  She said shyly.

"Scully, we have never been easy to start with."

As he took her hand, "I think we're at that proverbial fork in the road."

"Maybe we've avoided that road for too long.... maybe if we had...."
The incomplete speculation floated between them.

Mulder looked back to her.  "No more maybes, Scully.. no more living
like we don't feel what we feel.... what we've always felt... no more
living like we can live without....each other."

Mulder brought his free hand up and twirled a lock of red hair and
cupped her cheek.  The spiritual and emotional courtship with which
they precariously navigated during that time had come full circle.  The
openness and trust that they initially displayed in a dark, candle lit room
in Oregon, that forged the partnership into a friendship, now took them
to the last plateau of their yet unspoken commitment to each other.

A romance that was born on a long ago March day, had finally yielded
the truth......their truth.  A road full of peaks and valleys, good times
and bad, molded the intricate nature of the relationship.  For a long time
they sat there and held each other confident in the fact that their time
had come. As each of their minds replayed the events of the last few
years and their time of separation, it became obvious to both of them
that this was the inevitable.  They always knew love would come back
for them, eventually.

Mulder leaned back and stared into the eyes that he knew so well.
Those eyes were wet with the happiness. Relief of a journey ended
and a new one started.

"After all we've been through.... after all we've been to each other....
how could I not fall in love with you...how could anyone?"

Hearing the words from his mouth, hearing them like she had never
imagined, their reality set in.  "Mulder, I think we've both been
in love for a long time......."

Framing her face in his hands he pulled her lips to his and briefly kissed
her.  Chaste and simple, he was only wanting to test the waters.  The
emotion running through their hearts told them that this was the right
time.  They had avoided these feelings for too long, almost letting it
destroy them.  After several more minutes their passion got the better of
them.  Kisses turned into exploration and exploration turned into
discovery.

"Stay here tonight, Mulder."  Her eyes beckoned him.  "Just stay here
with me."

In an act of mutual, spoken agreement they knew that this journey
would be slow, deliberate.   Never going beyond what was safe, Mulder
held her through the night, as they remain in each other's arms on her
bed.  Rushing into the abyss of  pleasure would not insure their
success, so for that first night they just held on to each other and slept.
They slept peacefully, as if the burden of a weight was finally lifted from
them.

Years of sexual tension had yielded itself to a comfortable peace.
Younger souls might have given in to desires, but too much was riding
on this.  There would be time for more later, when a joyous occasion
would culminate into ecstasy, but tonight was about healing the pains
of so many years alone and taking the first few steps towards a future.


*************

7:59 AM

Sunday morning dawned earlier than usual.  After sleeping longer than
normal, Mulder peered over next to Scully. Following this path that had
led them here, he felt emptied.  Emptiness that sometimes accompanied
him at the end of a long run.  Tired, but refreshed.  Exhausted, but
secure in the knowledge that life would be better.  What would come in
their future was not important at the moment as long as they were
confident in the fact that their future would have them together.

The alarm clock promptly rang at eight o'clock signaling the start of a
new day.

"Morning, sleepy head..." Scully groaned, and flinched.  The
dawning realization of the previous night rushed back to her in a flood.

"Sorry.... guess I'm not used to waking up in someone's arms."

A little dismayed, Mulder started to pull back not wanting to smother
her.  Reassuringly, "Mulder.  I said I'm not used to it ..... not that I don't
want it."

Recovering from his gaff, he pulled her closer tucking his head on top of
her shoulder as he folded himself around her form.

"I swear I thought I was dreaming.....but this is real isn't it?"  Scully said
groggily.

"It's real, believe me.  I've dreamt it too many times to know the
difference."

Her return of silence disconcerted Mulder for a minute hoping he was
reading her wrong.   After a few minutes more of tense shyness he
looked over her shoulder.

"Dana?"

"I've just been thinking.......I almost feel guilty for feeling this way......
this happy......I feel like......."

Turning her over to face him, Mulder cut her off. "Hey, hey, ..... that's
usually my specialty.  If there is one thing that we have been made
painfully aware of  recently, is that time stands still for no one.  Like I
said last night.....no more maybes....no more regrets.."  Mulder held her
gaze as he caught the lone tear slipping across her face.

Studying her appearance as the guilt washed away, Mulder's decent
side showed through again.  "This isn't too fast for you is it?"

Recognizing his sincere need to protect her, "No, I think... if anything,
it's probably a little overdue."

Tentatively, Mulder kissed her softly.  The kiss grew feverish in desire,
if not demand.  Scully's mouth turned out to be as soft and delicious as
he imagined.  Mulder wondered if it were possible to die from kissing
her.

"There are so many things I want to tell you, Dana....so many times I've
wanted to tell you how beautiful you are......"

Scully looked away with an embarrassing smile.  Capturing her lips with
his, he seduced her into believing his words.  Running his fingers
through her hair he rolled over so she was straddling his waist in the
bed.

Literally feeling the truth in his words, she looked up in surprise at the
pressure she felt at her bottom.  Slightly embarrassed himself, he shifted
a little to reposition her.

Scully antagonized the situation more by grinding her bottom into his
hips with a undeniable look of 'look what I found' expression on her
face.  She kissed him deeply and made small chuckles at the physical
reactions of Mulder being stimulated by her movements.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Does this mean I have permission to call you Fox now?"

"How did I know that was coming?"

She asked again.   "Well?"

"Nope!"  Mulder said teasingly.

Turning back to her seriously, "I think you know what I like best."

At that moment Scully's mind raced backwards to all the other people
she had seen call him by his first name.  It suddenly became clear that
those she had thought were closer to him, were in fact never as close as
she was.

Reliving old memories, old times when things were not as simple, they
passed the morning away, neither wanting to escape.   Being together
after all these years, felt right. Another time, another place these hearts
were always true to each other. Now as the bond of their friendship
manifested itself in a new light, the two ventured into uncharted
waters.  The only sadness that ever reached them this morning was the
feeling of lost time and lost opportunities.  The fact of what they had
endured only made this sweeter.  The years played out in a few hours
time as tears were shed, laughter was held, and a faith in their trust
renewed.

"Mulder..?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think this is fate?"

"I'd like to think so....," he stated matter-of-factly.  "I think we were
always meant to be together in some way......and I think after losing so
much over the years we deserve ....this."

Turning over to face her, "Scully, you said to me one time that you
didn't believe in fate, that we choose our own paths."

"Well, maybe we choose our own fates as well," she said, with
conviction.

His reassuring smile warmed her heart, knowing that her compromise
was another example of how good they were together.

"So Dr. Mulder, when did you become such the expert at this
relationship stuff?"  Scully was asking him sarcastically.

"Since I fell in love with the most beautiful woman in world."  As he
finished, he gave her a long passionate, tender kiss that took her breath
away.

Scully retreated a little bit, unsure of herself.

"That doesn't bother you, does it?"

"What?"

"When I say things like that."

Her brow furrowing again her eyes were wide.  "I guess... I'm just not
used to it....... it just sounds a little cliche..... at least coming from you."

"Really?  Are you insulting my pillow-talk?"  Mulder teased trying to
lighten the moment.

"No... it just doesn't feel like..... `us' ."

Considering her words carefully.  "And just how does `us' feel?"

Taking her time, Scully didn't want this to come out the wrong way.  "I
think right now we feel this is somehow ...... unreal.... that we would
finally decide to give this a try."

A contented look falling over Mulder's face, "I always hoped we
would."


*************


After going back home and showering separately, to Mulder's dismay,
they had a late lunch and took the Metro from a suburb of D.C. to the
Mall in front of Capitol Hill.  Walking hand in hand, they slowly headed
towards the Washington Monument along the reflecting pool.  Chatting
about nothing at all and learning each other in ways that they never
could before,  they sat down at a bench and watched the pigeons scour
for whatever they could find.

"You think your Mom will be okay with this?"

"I think so..... I don't know.   It's not like she doesn't like you in the first
place, but I think she fears your life... your history a little bit.  Our time
together as partners was not exactly some of the best years of her life....
in some ways she's never quite understood our relationship......"

"What do you think will your Mom say?"

"Honestly,  I don't know....and a part of me doesn't care.  I know she
likes you, but more than likely this will dredge up old feelings of
Samantha.   Lately, she intensifies everything with Sam.  After learning
the full extent about Sam's fate....she hasn't handled things too well..."

Lifting her head, she could literally feel the painful loss after searching
for so long wave through her.  Mulder's eyes watered and stared off in
the direction of the horizon watching the sunset.

"Mulder, why did you start investigating the X-Files?"

Stunned at the question, Mulder looked down at Scully, "I think you
know why."

"Well I need to hear it ....from you."

Not knowing what direction this was headed he complied, "To find the
truth about what happened to my sister."

"And did you find that truth Mulder?"

"In a way, yes..."

"But, not the truth you were hoping for, right?"

"Well....maybe not...but I found my answer."

"You should know better than anyone Mulder, the truth is not always
pretty.   Sometimes when you look too hard you might not find what
you like."

Turning his head to Scully, he finally knew where this road was leading,
"And sometimes you find something you didn't know you were looking
for."

"It was her that brought us together, Mulder.  She became apart of me
as well.  Apart of us.   No one can ever give you back what they
took....... but you will always have that sister you remembered right here
in your heart."  She took her hand and placed it gently over his chest
showing him where his soul rested.

Wrapping his arm around her, pulling her tight, they sat there and
watched the sunset. Quietly, "She'll have to make room...... someone
else is taking up residence there lately."

Basking in the beauty of dusk in the nation's capitol, a jogger that they
were paying no attention to stopped in front of them and bent over to
grab his knees, cooling down from his run.  It was only when Mulder
sensed him walking over to them did he notice the strong features and
the bald head.

"Well if it isn't my two favorite trouble-makers."  Skinner said with an
wry grin.

"Evening sir,"  Scully replied and leaned even closer to Mulder.  Pulling
her tighter he motioned with his free hand for Skinner to join them on
the bench.

Trying not to pay close attention, Skinner sat down.   "Beautiful
evening, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, sir."  Scully replied.

Taking a sideways glance at his former charges, Skinner was reluctant
to ask the obvious, not really too concerned with their personal lives.
However, as the Assistant Director, he felt compelled to inquire of their
appearances.  "Agents...is there something I should know about?"

Mulder looked away suspiciously, letting Scully field the first inquiry.
"Not really.... you could say we're two old friends enjoying the
scenery......... close friends."

Still trying to cool down from his run, Skinner studied his two former
agents as they carried on as if it was just any other day.  "So....how long
have you two been.....uhh....?"

Skinner was obviously uncomfortable if not confused at the recent
developments, considering he had heard they weren't on speaking terms
lately.  Gossip still filtered its way to the upper levels, even if most of
his work was administrative.

Mulder sought her permission with his eyes before answering, "Well
really....only seriously the last few weeks."

Skinner resumed his stare out across the horizon, weighing the evidence
along with the testimony given.  "I see."

Scully was a little apprehensive,  "Sir, this won't be a problem, will it?"

Skinner sat back for a moment and reflectively thought, "I can't see
how....it's not like you're partners anymore. Even so, there is no written
rules against it.  Though you're in the same department you're
essentially in different sub-divisions.   There are no policies about co-
workers...... coupling, if I can use the term?  Now partners....that's a
different story.  It may not be officially written anywhere but it isn't the
most prudent course of  action for two people who want to work
together.  I'm sure you know that, otherwise you would not have
waited."

Skinner stated this in a manner that suggested even if they had been
seeing each other while they were partners, under his supervision, he
didn't want to know about it.

"Sir," Scully continued, "what if we wanted to be partners again?"

"Well,  speaking as your friend and as the Assistant Director I would
advise against it."

"And just who are we speaking to tonight?,"  Mulder offered with his
usual sense of  paranoia intact.

"Listen, I've been around a while and seen this before and normally,
more often than not, it ends badly.  Don't think you're the first two to
take this direction."

No matter what his concerns were for the two, he couldn't take the wind
out of their sails though.  "However, I can tell you if there is anyone that
can make it work, it's probably you two..... you guys were never exactly
.... `normal.'"

Scully looked up, "That's good to know sir."

"Well, I've got to get on back before I miss a phone call....you two stay
out of trouble....."

Skinner stood up, and jogged away throwing a wave over his shoulder,
not looking in their direction.

"Interesting." Mulder said.

End of "Never for You..."  Chapter 7/23 -Not Anymore- Pt. II

"Never For You..."  An X-Files Novel  - Chapter  -    -
by  L. McCullen

---------------------------------

[Mistakes]



The underlying darkness that had plagued the spirit of Fox Mulder for
years was beginning to lighten.  Dreary days of despair, and truths
never spoken were soon coming to an end. Fox Mulder would go to his
grave with demons that screamed at him through his dreams, with
thoughts of a life that seemed so long ago.  March 6, 1992, came and
went as any other day had, but in the time continuum that would march
to a different beat, time stood still that particular day.

Marking the moments of life at the time of their passing goes unnoticed,
but from a distance it screams to be recognized.   How appropriate that
the flickering light of a once drowned soul reached out to find love, in
the form of a friend, that had known no other.

A past, that was never to be spoken of, ceased to exist and a future to
be savored lit the way for one man's heart.   A long time ago Fox
Mulder had been a different man.  One would probably not have noticed
this later version with the tranquil smile that emanated peace.



Monday, October 4
VCS Bullpen

Scully checked her e-mail on Monday morning to finish catching herself
up on the latest inter-office bulletins and announcements.  A meeting
with the Special Agent in Charge was listed for 2:00 PM this afternoon.
The memo had also been copied to her current partner and the
Investigative Science Unit.   Scully picked up the phone to call an
extension which had clearly been etched in her memory for the past few
months.  Hearing the phone ring across the large room she waited.

"Mulder."  came the standard answer.

"It's me,"  came Scully's usual response.  "Did you check your e-mail
yet?"

"No, I was sorting through files, trying to find a photo of a crime
scene...........you wouldn't have seen it would you?"  Knowing Scully, he
thought, she would have seen it laying around errantly.

"Sorry Mulder, sure haven't .....but, WE have a meeting at 2:00." Scully
sounded passively excited and this piqued Mulder's interest.

Turning to his computer screen he quickly navigated to his e-mail box
and saw a waiting message.  "WE do??....Let me see here........ok......I
see it.....hmmph?   I wonder what this could be about,"  he wondered
aloud.

"I was hoping you could tell me, Mulder.   You guys haven't got a new
serial perp on the loose do you?"   Mulder was shaking his head to her
as they looked at each other from across the office.

"Not that I know of Scully."  Scully could see his ASAC come up to sit
on the edge of his desk, "Listen Scully, I'll meet you for lunch around
noon.  I'll try to find out what's up in the mean time."

"I'll be waiting with your iced tea."

"Ohhh, a woman after my own heart."  Mulder hung up the phone and
watched his immediate supervisor Assistant Special Agent in Charge
Jeff Hastings try to ignore his phone conversation.  Mulder held true to
his words with Scully.  He would not hide their relationship, nor would
he flaunt it around at the office.

Agent Hastings was only a year older than Mulder and respected his
work.  Hastings was ASAC because of his term of service with the
I.S.U. while Mulder had spent his time pursuing "other matters" as some
of his colleagues put it.   Hastings and Mulder also shared the fact that
they were the only Field Agents left in I.S.U. that were taught the art of
profiling by the now infamous Bill Patterson.  Patterson's legend had
been tarnished by the Mostow case, but his pupils were generally
regarded the best in the business.  They weren't best buddies, but other
than Scully, Hastings was the only agent that Mulder could call a friend.
During their time apart, Hastings looked out for Mulder as best he
could, knowing what a fruitless pursuit it would be.

Hastings reminded Mulder of Scully in way.  Thorough, precise,
detailed and very sharp.  Hastings busied himself for a moment by
staring at the photo of Samantha, while Mulder finished his call.

"Samantha right?"  Hastings asked in a tone as if he were trying to
remember.  Jeff put the frame down and looked at Mulder to assure
himself he hadn't over-stepped himself by inquiring.

Mulder nodded.

"I see you've read the memo about the meeting today,"  Jeff offered in a
repetitive tone.

"Yeah, Scully was just asking me about the details....what's up?"

"Well, the SAC wants to open up four more positions on the team and
focus the department more on  forensic evidence for some of the
upcoming cases.  It's kind of going to be a test run to see if profiling
could be helped by having pathologists on staff instead of being at the
mercy of local medical examiners and coroners.  Developing forensic
scientists dedicated solely to murderers and profiling, like the Bureau
does with fingerprinting and handwriting analysis could help us.
Having pathologists and forensic experts who are trained to handle
these cases specifically should help us weed through the evidence
quicker and hopefully increase efficiency."

Mulder let whatever excitement he was harboring fade at the thought of
working with Scully again as best he could,  "Speaking from experience
Jeff, having my own personal pathologist as a partner was invaluable.
On our cases we saw a lot of strange stuff, to put it mildly and I doubt
our solve rate would have been anywhere near what it was without
Scully."    The mention of her name again did not go unnoticed by Jeff.

"So Mulder, ......she's that good"  Jeff held his stare at Mulder awaiting
his response, curious to gauge his reaction.  Jeff had heard all the
rumors, but would wait for the confirmation before pursuing the
matter.

"Yeah, Jeff ....she is.  Scully's the best I've ever seen."  Mulder looked
away in the direction of her desk and caught her eye for split second,
not wanting to give Jeff anymore information than was not required.


That was all it took to confirm Jeff's suspicions, not that it was any of
his business, but as a general rule of thumb, humans were curious and
he was one of his agents that had been assigned to him.

Smiling and holding back a small chuckle,  "Well, don't worry, I think
she's got the job if she wants it.  It's the other three positions we're
worried about.   Her partner and about ten others, mostly from the
Academy, will be going for the remaining spots.   I'll catch
you at the meeting, and tell Agent Scully I said congratulations."


*************

11:42 AM


Mulder checked his watch and noticed the noon hour was twenty
minutes away.  Quickly looking up to her desk, he noticed Scully was
still gone.  She had an autopsy earlier and said she would be back for
lunch. He grabbed his black trench coat, checked the position of his tie
and headed for the diner that they usually ate at in downtown D.C.

Walking into the restaurant at precisely 12:01, he looked around and
found the top of her head at of one of the booths.  Her auburn tresses
were not hard for anyone to notice especially at the fiery pitch they
seemed to have taken lately.

He failed to notice Holland sitting across from her as he leaned down to
peck her on the cheek.  She jumped at first from the surprise of not
hearing Mulder walk up, but quickly leaned in and returned the show of
affection.  Mulder looked at her intently as she scooted over to make
room for him in the booth.   Scully had never been one to offer public
shows of affection, but this brought to light the changing aspects of their
relationship.  Curious as to why she was moving over, Mulder caught
her eye and looked over to the left to see Agent Holland trying to look
away and ignore the two.

After seeing Holland, Mulder reached out to shake his hand,  "Oh,
sorry, Holland....nice to see you again."   The younger agent was a little
flushed and returned the greeting with a nod.

Leaning over to Scully he whispered, "Do I need to refresh your
technique of ditching your partner again, Scully?"

Scully suppressed her grin and said in the most serious voice she could
muster, "Not unless you want me to practice on you."

"Nope.... can't have that."  Mulder replied quickly.

Holland was feeling suspiciously like a third wheel now. "Hey guys, I
can take off if you would like ......"

Mulder quickly sat him back down with an arm gesture, "Sorry Holland,
just a little reminiscing about the old days.   You need to stay and hear
this too."

Scully turned into Mulder with a quizzical look,  "This isn't bad news is
it.?"

"No, no, not at all."  Mulder then proceeded to inform them both about
the details he knew that ASAC Hastings had related to him.  After
telling all that he knew he sat back to gauge the reactions.

Without much surprise, Scully was excited with the possibility to spend
more time with Mulder, professionally, and was taken back at what
Hastings had said about her chances for acceptance.  Joining the
I.S.U.'s profiling team was a definite step up that ladder as well as an
increase
in pay.

"Agent Holland, your inexperience might work against you, but I expect
your chances will be better seeing as how you have worked with Scully
for the past year.  Don't go into the interview and expect the worst.  I'll
probably be in there during the interviews so you better make Scully
look good," Mulder ended in a joking matter.

After eating and talking about everything from Bureau legends to
yesterdays football scores, Scully shifted in her seat to signal Mulder
she was ready to leave.  Holland also picked up on this and departed in
order to leave them alone.

Leaning into Mulder, Scully looked up, "So.....back to where we started
huh.?"  Scully could see some uneasiness in Mulder's eyes all during
lunch and especially at the end of her last question.  She had a feeling
where his fears lay and she wanted to flesh them out before it went any
further.

"You gonna tell me what's floating around in that head of yours,
Mulder?"

"I....I....Scully, I can't go back to the way it was before........I would like
to work with you again....but .....I don't want to lose what we just...."
Mulder looked of horror at the possibility even existing.  Scully could
see the concern and again came to his rescue.

Taking his hand in hers,  "I don't want to lose this either, besides, don't
you think it's a little late to go back now?"

Mulder squeezed her tighter and chuckled softly.   "Agent Scully, it's
way past a little late now."

"Just think Mulder, it will be like old times again, only slightly
different," her eyes danced in delight at the prospect.

"No....better.....now we'll be able to work together more often and share
the motel room on the road."   Mulder leered down to Scully who was
giving him that 'you're-impossible' look that he had seen many times.

"Yeah, I'm sure the Bureau would approve that as a cost preventative
measure. The question is do you think we can stand to be around each
other that much?"  She asked in a half-serious manner.

"You know, we'll just have to find some way to survive."  Mulder
squeezed her hand.  Letting her out to go freshen up, he paid the
check.


*************


Conference Room #1
3:32 PM

The meeting went as Mulder expected.  A long, tediously boring
introspective to the reasoning by the Bureau's research committee,
offered a few insights to the 'experiment.'  Budgetary reasons were
somehow involved, as usual, and everyone took the news as a positive.
The Special Agent in Charge, David West, also seemed genuinely
pleased and broke the meeting up after a short question and answer
session.

Waiting for Mulder outside the conference room door, Scully told her
partner to go on ahead and she would catch up later.   Mulder excused
himself from the crowd and went to see her.

"You coming over tonight, Mulder?"  She looked up to him with a
question of anticipation.

"Yeah, Scully....I'm gonna run a little late.  I've got to run some errands,
run by the cleaners and such,  so I'll probably see you around 7:30 -
8:00, ok?"

"I'll hold dinner for you and.....if you're running by your apartment,
why don't you bring a few.....things...to make your stay a little more
comfortable?"  Scully looked away in a playful, manner to put him at
ease.

"Why Agent Scully.....are you coming on to me?"  Mulder leered.

Scully put on her most professional, all-business mask,  "Your
investigative techniques never fail to amaze me, Agent Mulder."

Mulder squeezed her shoulder and returned to the intense conversation
rambling on in the conference room.  Egos were warring between some
of the other agents and Mulder was looking for cover.  If he had been
paying closer attention he might of noticed the eaves-dropper that had
taken a sudden interest in Scully and Mulder's little chit-chat.

He didn't and proceeded to lighten up the room with some of his witty
retorts to ease the sudden hostility of the room.  Mulder and the rest of
the profilers were all a little stubborn from time to time and breaking up
a little friendly disagreement was commonplace.

Agent Colton was just about to walk around the corner when he had
heard two familiar voices and stopped short, remembering his most
memorable confrontation with the pair, and keenly took note of their
conversation and the tones that were used.  He would file this away for
later use, if the rumors he had also been hearing were true.


*************

Annapolis, Maryland
8:58 PM


After a late dinner, the two sat on the couch and peacefully enjoyed the
comfortable silence and the presence of each other.   Words were not
always required for them.  The years of partnership had allowed them to
communicate with each other through other means.  A look here, a
nudge there and the other would know how to react.

A couple of looks here and a nudge there was telling Scully that
something was on Mulder's mind.  Unsure, she attempted to find out
what was puzzling him.  She still wasn't sure about him since the
conversation at lunch.

"You're going to hurt yourself, Mulder, if you keep that look on your
face."

Broken from his train of thought, Mulder went about unburdening his
soul, hoping she would understand.  "Dana, I don't uh.... ."

The use of her first name along with his statement of bewilderment set
off alarms in her mind.  The look on her face measured one of concern
and curiosity

"Scully, all day.... I can't get this image out of my head.  I know I'm
being paranoid, but the relationships I've been in don't .... well I just
don't have a good track record."

Mulder's reference to others as well as remembering Diana Fowley still
sent small pangs of jealousy through Scully.  She remained quiet while
he proceeded.

Taking her hand, "I just can't afford to mess this up...... that's all."

"What makes you think you'll mess this up?"

"It jdust seems to be one of the few things I've been good at doing all my
life."

Sighing, Scully sat forward with her elbows on her knees and her chin
resting in her hands.  Her voice slightly mumbled because of her
position, "Mulder, it hasn't even been a full forty-eight hours yet and
.....  well I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Your paranoia is about as
endless as time itself."

Reflecting in the moment, Scully continued.  "So....  What are we going
to do about this, Mulder?   Are we going to go around walking on egg-
shells or are we going to try and make this work?"

"Scully, I didn't mean...  Yes, we're going to make this work, but I..  I'm
just afraid ....I just don't want you to ever feel like this was a mistake"

Incredulously, "How could this ever be a mistake?"

Laughing at himself for a moment, "I don't know..."

Looking at her from the side, "I think you've just witnessed a Mulder
moment of insecurity...."   Smiling more at himself than for Scully's benefit,
"....don't worry it will pass after a while."

Pulling him down so that his head rested in her lap, "Mulder, I can't tell
you everything will always be great between us....yes, our belief
systems are a little incompatible....we're going to fight, we're going to
challenge each other.... like always...... but don't think for one moment
I'll love you any less...... if anything.... I'll love you more..... because
that's who we are, who we've always been."

"You know me ... I like to worry."  Another self-deprecating smile
found its way to his face and they just stared at each other.

Looking, yearning, wanting the other to know the secrets in their hearts
that hadn't found a way to their lips yet.  Lost in each other's gaze they
could stare away infinitely, not afraid to say anything that spoke
through those eyes.

Heavy moments like they had been sharing more often recently still felt
a little uncomfortable, but in a good way.  Agreeing to take things at a
proper pace, Mulder sat up.

"You want some coffee?  I need a fix right about now, if you don't
mind?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Returning to couch with their drinks, he found Scully flipping through
the channels looking for an old movie to curl up with.  Stopping on
Jerry Springer for a second she just shook her head.  No one could ever
really stop themselves from peeking at the show, no matter who you
were, and no one could every really stand to keep it on the channel
either.

Reaching for her mug, "You know Mulder, it's pretty sad when
professional wrestling looks more entertaining than this garbage."

"At least with professional wrestling we know it's fake." Mulder said
and prayed for her to keep clicking channels. Finally they stopped on
one of the movie channels and watched the last hour of some action
thriller both of them had seen it before.  They relaxed in each other's
arms talking and watching.

Sometime around 11:30, Mulder awoke with a sleeping Scully at his
side.  Gently waking her with a kiss to her temple, "Scully?......Are you
ready for bed?"   With her eyes still shut she nodded her assent.

Mulder pushed himself up carefully so he wouldn't disturb Scully
anymore than need be and scooped her up in his arms.  He gently set
her down on her side of the bed and opened her dresser drawer to
retrieve her purple silk pajamas.  He always wondered about the
practical pajamas she wore, but decided they made her even more
desirable.

"Scully?  You want any help putting these on, or do you want to sleep
in your clothes tonight," he whispered into her ear.

Looking around, surprised to be in her bedroom, she nodded her head,
"Yeah, just help me with my shoes will you?"

Mulder, knelt down and took her shoes and socks off as delicately as
he could.  Hesitantly, she pulled her sweatshirt off and started to
unbutton her jeans, all the while taking sidelong glances at Mulder in a
very self-conscious manner.

He had seen her naked before and would again, hopefully this time in a
better environment than the Antarctica.  Meaning well, "You're not
going shy on me now, are you?"

Her corresponding silence to his humor clued him into her modesty.
"Ahhh....maybe I should go... I didn't want to make you feel
uncomfortable."

"No.." Pursing her lips together, "I guess I don't undress in front of
people very often."  Sitting there in her jeans and a plain white bra,
Mulder felt himself blush a little at the situation.

Shyly looking away, Mulder regained his composure and stood up to
get her top.  Without turning back around to her, he handed it back to
Scully. After finishing her buttons, she cleared her throat letting him
know it was all right to turn around.

In a strange way, after all this time, Mulder thought it was kind of
endearing how she acted.  It was also typical Scully.  Mulder
remembered her providing him a change of clothes one time out on a
case when he had been `detained' by some military police.  Acting as if
nothing was out of the ordinary he began changing right there in front
of her while carrying on a conversation.  Not giving it a second thought,
Scully had turned around while carrying on the conversation in order to
give him some privacy.  Hopefully this was all it was about.  They had
come so far for there to be any misgivings now.

Finding her dressed half in pajamas and half jeans he kissed her and
whispered into her ear, "Goodnight, Scully."

"Are you staying?  She said in a sleepy voice.

"If you want me to."

"Just do me one favor."

"What?"

"Lose the suit, G-man.  I don't feel like sleeping with an FBI agent
tonight."

She finished with her jeans and slipped into the bottom of the pajamas,
and rolled into bed.  Mulder walked around the bed, took off his
clothes, save his boxers, and undershirt.  She looked up into his eyes,
lifted the sheets for him and patted the mattress for him to join her.  He
crawled in and waited for her to settle herself like she had done the night
before last with her head on his chest and his left arm pulling her close.

Inhaling her scent that clung to everything in the bed he whispered
again.  "Whenever you're ready."

The rhythm of his steady and content heartbeat soon had her sleeping
soundly.  He let out another deep breath and slipped to the netherworld
of dreams with her.



End of "Never For You..."  Chapter 8/23  -Mistakes-

"Never For You..."  An X-Files Novel  - Chapter 9/23  -Memories Past-  Pt. I
by  L. McCullen

---------------------------------


[Memories Past]



Thursday, October 7,


Thursday arrived with little fanfare.  Scully and Mulder arrived together
as they had the previous three days to work with a little more spring in
their steps and a sense of happiness that had been long missing from
their lives.  Arriving early to catch breakfast at the Hoover Building's
cafeteria, Scully would be officially interviewed for the I.S.U.'s Profiling
Unit.  Even though her qualifications insured her success, she was still
nervous about being put under the microscope by other agents, who
had a knack for being like Mulder.  His powerful interrogating skills,
along with the other interviewers would be sharp.

To avoid any signs of inappropriate behavior they agreed he should not
be present for the interview.    ASAC Hastings agreed and at precisely
9:30, Agent Dana Scully entered the primary VCS conference room to
begin.

Two hours later, she exited with a smile on her face and the faint sound
of laughter emanating from the room.  Mulder looked up from his phone
conversation to see her walking his way.  As he dispatched with the
other person on the line, he hung up the phone with a questioning look
for Scully.  She just continued to beam.

"So...how did it go?  Was it as bad as you expected?"

Unable to stop smiling, "No it was quite unexpected.  The actual
interview was over in thirty minutes.   It seems Hastings told you
correctly.  All I had to do was show up and it's mine if I want it."

This brought about an even stronger look of curiosity from Mulder.
"So what...what kept you so long?

Scully was having way too much fun with this, "Oh....they just wanted
to hear some 'Spooky'  Mulder stories."  She turned to leave before he
could respond.

As she was leaving, Mulder raised his voice just below shouting level,
"Wench!"

Scully kept her back turned and laughed out loud, knowing she had
won this round as she went off to find her soon to be ex-partner down
in the lab.


*************


At lunch Scully filled Mulder in some of the details.  Since hers was the
first interview, Mulder was still not privy to some of the finer points to
this arrangement.  She informed him that the 'experiment' would last for
a period of five months and the top two forensic scientists would retain
the positions while the other two would re-transfer back to their
previous positions and be used in cases of emergency.  Nothing like on
the job training.  The program was designed to save time, money, and
resources, but could also be terminated at any time.

"So Mulder, got any plans for the weekend," Scully asked knowingly.

Mulder was jolted back to reality, by the reminder of his earlier phone
call.  The semi-pained look on his face gave him away instantly.
"Uhhhh....funny you should ask, actually I do.   My mother just called
me this morning and needs me to fix some things with the house in
West Tisbury for the winter.  We're closing it down for the off-season
and since the stroke she can't handle all the physical labor anymore like
she used to."

"Want any help Mulder,"  she asked without any hesitation.

"Would you mind?  There's not a whole lot to do except put the storm
windows back up, check the gas, and secure the locks for the winter.  I
could finish by mid-day Saturday if we leave tomorrow after work and
spend the rest of the weekend on the Vineyard."  Mulder was looking at
her with a hopeful expression that was somewhere between begging
and pleading.

"Will your mom be there to help?"

"No, I told her to stay in Greenwich this year, she doesn't need to drive
all that way just to watch me do all the work."  Mulder was looking
away.

"Still avoiding her?"

"Well, I wouldn't say avoiding.  Maybe strategically planning the
structured visits, but not avoiding," Mulder offered in a dry tone.

"Whatever the case, I would love to see the Vineyard.  I'll finally
get to see where you grew up and the house you lived in.  That alone
would be worth it."

Mulder winced at the thought of her seeing his pictures when he was
younger, but was thankful for the company, especially hers.   "Actually I
grew up in Chilmark, just south of Providence, but after mom and dad
divorced, I did spend some time in West Tis."


*************



Mulder went home Thursday night to pack a bag for the trip, feed the
remaining fish still clinging to life, then headed back over to Scully's for
the night.  Even after five days it had felt like ages since he had spent a
night on the couch, but he wasn't complaining.

He had agreed to pick up some take-out on the way over and she was
setting the table when he arrived.  "Honey, I'm home," Mulder yelled
out.

Scully looked up with a curious smile, "We aren't to the part where pet
names include `honey' and `sweetheart' , are we Mulder?"

Surprised, Mulder walked over to her, "You don't like it?"  She helped
him remove the dinner from his overstuffed arms and reached up on her
tiptoes to peck his cheek.

"Let's just say... it doesn't quite fit you."

Mulder looked momentarily miffed at the comment.

"Did you pack Mulder," Scully asked without looking, while filling their
plates with various forms of Chinese food from Wong's around the
block.

"Yeah, it's in the car.   I figured we could take mine since it's a little
better on the mileage."

"Sure, that sounds good to me."  They both sat down to a relaxing
evening and discussed the plans for tomorrow.  Leaving at 5:00 sharp,
they could probably get to the island by 11:00 sharp to catch the last
ferry before Saturday morning.


*************

After a grueling day in conference, and one spent in an autopsy bay,
they hit the beltway heading north at exactly 5:08 PM.  They had
ditched a little early, but this being Friday, they were in no way alone.

The trip was for the most part quiet.  Scully slipped out of her shoulder
belt to lean her head on the armrest.  Every couple of miles, Mulder's
right hand would stroke her hair and settle her into a sound sleep.  It
had constantly amazed him since their first night sleeping together how
tranquilizing his presence was to her. Mulder's thoughts soon drifted to
another road trip when he had seen her sleep.  Their last case together
as partners.

The road sweeping by, Mulder retreated into his thoughts of the last
year.  The weeks leading up to their end, the time apart and of course
that night when they reconciled.  How close he was to leaving D.C. for
Syracuse and how Scully had pulled him back, again.

Sitting there he also imagined how many times he had seen her sleep
beside him and how many times he had wanted to touch her just as he
was now.  The weeks seemed to be flying by in an incredible speed that
he couldn't fathom.  Mulder also recalled those early days when he
wished he had never met Scully.  At least not in the way they had been
thrown together.  Past any guilt that usually came with these thoughts,
Mulder realized he was more selfish than even he could imagine.

Playing his favorite game of `what if,' Mulder used to imagine what
would have happened if he had never had her as a partner.  Would he
have noticed her?  Would he have even been interested in someone like
her?  Would she have ever considered dating someone like him?

The game wearing on as the miles flew by, his thoughts darkened as he
wondered how he would have survived and where he would be without
her.   Of course this question always got redirected at her life as well
with depressing results.  Did he really deserve to be this happy and was
she deserving of him..... or more?

Remembering the later days of their partnership when they had grown
so close, Mulder could recall his intense feelings for her that were so
confusing.  Loving her was never the problem, it was the fact that he
knew it was unprofessional to be in love with her and that's what hurt.
It hurt to think that the only person you could imagine spending the rest
of your life with could never be more than a partner.... a friend.

Remembering Scully's own words, `So close, yet so far.'  A mental
image of him sitting in Dr. Kosseff's office explaining, `Yes, Karen.  The
only person that has ever truly cared for me... and I have to go and fall
in love with her.... and I like it, but it could never happen because we're
partners and you're not supposed to fall in love with your partner.'  The
proverbial catch twenty-two winding its way out of control.

Shaking his head at himself, the imaginary session with Dr. Kosseff
would go on for hours until Mulder would resign himself to the
wrongness of it all.  This was how he would fight the feelings that
sometimes overwhelmed him.  He was human after all and a male at
that. He knew it was a natural part of the male and female relationship
to have these feelings and thoughts.

He often wondered if Scully had thought about it much.  With the
events involving Eddie van Blundht and of course his hallway a few
years back, he knew it had crossed her mind at least twice.

Looking back down to her resting comfortably, those days seemed so
long ago.  No, he had never been very romantic, but somehow they had
found their way to giving it a try.  Maybe in their days of being partners
the fear of ruining what they had was plausible if not possible, but now
those fears were as foreign to him as another language.  In an instant he
could only think and feel one thing.  `I would do it all over again just to
have her here with me like this.'  Sometimes being selfish, he thought to
himself, wasn't all bad.

New York had been easier to navigate than usual and after paying the
various tolls, they were in sight of their destination with an hour to
spare.

The ferry let them onto the secluded island at 10:45.  Another fifteen
minutes and the old house would be in sight as well.

"Wake up sleepyhead," Mulder nudged her, "we're here."

"Hmmm...," Scully said groggily.  "We there yet?"

"Yes, we're here."  Mulder raked his fingers through her hair, pulling it
away from her face, where it had fallen over to spill in her eyes.  Scully
rubbed her eyes in amazement that she had slept so long.  Looking
around, she noticed they were indeed pulled up into the driveway in
front of the steps of a modest-sized, white painted house with a huge
porch that stretched the width of the front of the home.   To one side
was an old fashioned wooden bench-swing, hanging from the roof of
the porch.

Scully, smiled and recognized the house as being one built during that
faux-Victorian style that was popular back during the late forties and
fifties.  She had seen plenty of these on her stops with her family as she
had traveled from city to city following her siblings as the child of a US
Navy Captain.   Captain William Scully, Sr. would have had a house like
this if he had ever stuck around to become admiral.  Growing up, a
captain's furnishings were not as grand as the one she was now
scoping out, but their family had lived close, grown up close and for the
most part remained close.   She had preferred it that way.

"Wow Mulder,....I had no idea this place would be this....this..."

"I think the word you're looking for is big, Scully,"  Mulder offered in a
slightly self-conscious tone.

"No....although it is huge....I was going to say beautiful."  She would
save the "admirals house" status for later, detecting Mulder's
unassuming behavior.   Coming back here was always sensitive for
Mulder and she didn't want to make him feel anymore uncomfortable
than possible.

"I'll get the bags, here are the keys to the front door."  Mulder handed
her the keys after unlocking the trunk.  Scully grabbed one of the
smaller bags and proceeded up the front stairs to the porch.  It was a
decent set of stairs that had smaller steps than most, increasing the
affect of someone who might be approaching the front door for the first
time.  A more familiar occupant would easily take a couple at the time
to hurry himself along.

Sliding the key into the door first, then the deadbolt she opened the
door slowly to enjoy its weight and sound as it creaked open.  The
smells that hit her nose told her that this place was full of past
memories.  The sensation of detecting these memories along with fact of
knowing a little about the owner's history made her heart physically
ache.

She thought to herself, 'How could anyone grow up in a house this
beautiful and have such a warped family?'   An old, wood-laden, odor of
the different types of wood that made up this house assaulted her nasal
passages next and a faint smile crossed her lips at the thought of her
grandparents house that had always managed to smell the same way.

By this time Mulder had ascended the stairs to join her.  Not saying a
word he sat the suitcases down inside the door and walked up behind
her.  Placing his hands on her shoulders, he joined her in silent
contemplation as they took in the sight before them.

All Mulder could do was whisper, "A long time ago, Scully,  a long
time ago."  Although she wasn't sure, she took it to mean he was talking
about the night his father was killed. She walked around exploring the
surroundings, and Mulder watched in curious amusement.  "I'll take
these upstairs right quick Scully, make yourself at home"

Mulder left her to her exploration and proceeded to the master bedroom
where he found everything as it had been left.   Before walking down
the stairs, he couldn't help himself, he poked his head into his old room
and then stuck his head into what had been his room when he would
visit his dad.

By that time, Scully had also climbed the stairs to find Mulder staring
blankly at the room that had been forever changed all those years ago.
Much had changed.  His toys and little boy possessions had long since
been put up.  The room was bland and sterile, ready for other little
children of families who often rented the house for summer vacations
and weekend getaways.

"Your room Mulder?" Scully had placed a comforting arm along his
back to give him permission to relive the past if he needed to.

"Yeah, I can't resist looking in sometimes to remember what it was like
so long ago."

Mulder was speaking clearly and with less emotion than she would
have expected.

Since that trip to Providence, which seemed a lifetime ago, Scully had
never been more painfully aware of how destructive a trip through
'memory lane' with Mulder could be.  In her nightmares, she could still
see Mulder pointing that gun at her, not knowing what was going
through his mind.   The fact Mulder's heart had guided him to the
correct decision that night had ironically strengthened their bond,
whereas in others it might have sealed a doomed fate.  Allowing her to
comfort him as he bared his soul that night, he finally let go of the
monster that haunted him the most.

Sensing Scully's reflective moment, Mulder squeezed her hand and led
her to a room across the hall.  "My demons are fading Scully, all thanks
to you ....and the good memories are starting to takeover, at least more
often now."

"This is the master bedroom.  I've never had any reason to sleep in it
before.....so if you don't mind we'll take this room."

Scully's eyes widened at the sight of a beautiful four-poster, king size,
antique, mahogany bed that was centered in the room along the back
wall facing a large bay window.  "Oh my God, Mulder ....this is
gorgeous.....it must be at least fifty years old."

"Yeah, it was a wedding present to my parents.  They received it from
my father's folks as part of a set,"  as he gestured to the adjacent wall
where Scully's breath was taken away again.  A large mahogany bureau
with a wide mirror, held up by mahogany spires on gold faced hinges,
completed the room's effect.

Scully slowly walked to the bed and sunk down on it's extraordinarily
comfortable mattress.  "This is incredible Mulder, truly incredible."

Mulder was now a tiny bit embarrassed, "My father's parents were
pretty well off. Even though I never saw much of them they usually
made an impression.  Look, make yourself comfortable, I'm gonna
check on the heat and warm this place up a little bit.  Winter always
arrives to the island first."   Mulder left Scully alone to finish exploring
and do whatever she needed to do to get ready for bed.

Mulder turned up the thermostat and heard the requisite knocking and
squalling that accompanied the first rumblings of the furnace as it was
awakened from its sleep since last spring and proceeded to check the
doors.   He returned to find Scully had found a fresh change of sheets
from the closet and the massive comforter that spread across the
great expanse of the bed.  She was busy tucking in corners not paying
any attention to Mulder as he leaned against the door frame and
watched her dutiful chore of preparing the bed .  It was almost amusing
to see her slide around the huge bed in her silk pajamas to finish her
task.  The size of the bed only helped to make Scully's petite frame even
smaller in contrast.

Sensing his presence after a few minutes,  "You just gonna watch me all
night."

Leaving his post at the door, Mulder moved over to wrap his arms
around her as she face away towards the bathroom,  "Have I ever told
you I love your PJ's"

Scully scoffed at the question, "I seem to recall you mentioning it once
before."

"Well, for the record, woman, you are extremely hot in silk."   Scully
blushed in earnest this time and turned in his arms to kiss him, and
murmured, "I seem to recall a certain pair of silk boxers that you looked
kind of cute in, also."

Mulder pulled her down with him onto the bed and nuzzled his face in
the crook of her neck between her ear and shoulder, kissing his way up
her jawline to meet her beautiful pouty lips. In the vast expanse of this
monstrous bed, they rolled to the center and slept peacefully in each
other's arms.



*************


Saturday, October 9,


Saturday morning arrived with sunlight trickling through the soft, sheer
drapes and into Mulder's eyes.   He looked over to see a smiling, sleepy
Scully laying face down across his arm.  Not able to resist, he rolled
over and awakened her with a kiss.  Her eyes fluttered open,  "Morning,
handsome."

"Morning, beautiful."  Pulling her into his arms so that she rested on
top of him he lazily kissed his way across her cheek and down her neck,
stopping before anything got out of hand.  He had sensed a small
hesitancy at furthering their relationship since Saturday night and was
satisfied to take it slow if that was what it took.   "I love it when I wake
up with you in my arms, Scully."

"You aren't going to go and get all sappy on me are you, Mulder?"

"Hey.... some guys like sappy..." He replied sounding like he had been
insulted.

Grinning  "I just never thought it would be you"  She then continued to
kiss him in the same manner in which he had just done.

After showering, and getting dressed they made for the car to grab
breakfast wherever they could find it.   Settling for an antique version of
an IHOP, they returned to finish the work of securing the house for the
winter.  While Mulder found the storm windows and tools, Scully went
about covering all the major pieces of furniture, checking the windows
and locks.    After checking the gas supply and turning off the pilot
light, they were finished by 1:00 PM.

"Hey Scully, since the place is all ready, why don't we grab our bags
and head out to a little bed and breakfast down the road.  We can spend
the rest of the day on the beach and stay in for breakfast tomorrow
morning.  What do you say?"  Mulder again was silently pleading with
her with his eyes.  She knew that this house held secrets that he didn't
want to delve into and with her plans for tonight she was more than
willing to part ways with his parents old bedroom.

"Sure, I think that's a good idea......just make sure they serve
lunch.....we might miss breakfast," she said with a mischievous look.
Mulder nodded his understanding and remarkably held back an
innuendo'esque remark that might threaten tonight's possibilities not
wanting  to chance it.


*************

5:03 PM


After checking into the bed and breakfast, The Vineyard House, they
spent a leisurely afternoon walking up and down the shore enjoying the
crisp wind and the sounds that accompanied the sea.

Finding a slightly elevated sand dune, they sat down beside each other
and continued their quiet ceremony of observance.   The sun was about
to begin its daily ritual of disappearance on the horizon just behind
them.  A crisp breeze blending with the rhythmic sound of surf and
seagulls created a feeling of enchantment. As the sun descended into
its nightly cloak in the western sky, it left the eastern coast in a slowly
darkening blue cover.

"You never told me how beautiful this area is, Mulder."

"I guess I just took it for granted most of the time.  Growing up here,
you're not aware that most places aren't this nice."

"That's me, all right.....most places."

Turning towards her his curiosity was piqued. "What was it like
growing up, not knowing where you would be living in a few years?"

A gentle smile formed on her lips as Scully warmly thought about her
childhood and moving around the country with her family.  "It was....  I
don't know.  I didn't have anything to compare it with really.  Most of
the people we were friends with were in the same boat, so we didn't
think it was too unusual."

"For the most part, we knew that whomever we were friends with
would not be around too long, so we didn't get too attached.   It wasn't
until high school that we rebelled.  One by one, right down the line, we
all rebelled in some way or the other."

"Really?  How did you rebel, Scully?"  Mulder was interested at the
prospect of a young insurgent Dana Scully.

"Well... mine was kind of a two parter.  I ran off with some friends one
weekend near graduation when I was a senior instead of going on a
church youth event, we got drunk....you know, the usual teenage stuff."

"Oooh, wow.  Ms. Wild Thing, huh?"

Scully nudged over to Mulder leaning into his shoulder, "You probably
wouldn't have recognized me back then."

"What was the second rebellion?"

Trying to forget her train of thought, "Oh, you know that one.  The
Bureau."

"Was it really a rebellion... joining the FBI?"

"Not for me, but my parents saw it that way, so I call it my second one."

"They must have seen it coming.  Forensic pathology doesn't leave a
whole lot of options open."

"True, but they didn't know that was my area of specialization.  I kind of
kept that piece of information to myself until graduation day.  They
were under the assumption that all medical doctors spend their lives in
preparation of taking care of others.  I mean, it was an option..... going
into general practice and of course still is, but I wanted more than just
routine checkups and a prescription service for hemorrhoids."

"I bet that was a fun day."

"Keeping that tidbit of knowledge from them was a mistake I hadn't
thought of."

Searching the horizon for the long lost memory, Scully's mood darkened
a bit.  "It didn't quite work out like I thought it would."

"By then, I was two weeks from entering the Academy.  They recruited
me the last semester and wanted me to do my residency at Maryland."

Mulder tilted his head towards her intently interested in hearing this
side of Scully that he had never known.

"When I told my parents, the look on their faces was...... I'll never forget
it.  Mom was disappointed, but she knew I wouldn't be happy unless I
was doing what I wanted."

"And your Dad?"

Focusing on a point of sand where a seagull was pecking away at some
unknown food source, "Dad was devastated...... and that's what hurt the
most.  I thought he would have been proud.... happy that I was going to
work for the country he had devoted his life to."

"He just thought it was a foolish idea that I would end up regretting.
Melissa was on my side, she helped me smooth things over with them,
but things were never quite the same between us."

"I had no idea..."

Smiling softly at Mulder's attempt of comfort.  "Though, I think in the
end, before he died,  he understood that it was my life to live."

"I wish I could have met him.... it sounds like we had a lot in common."

Surprised at this insightful deduction, "What do you mean, Mulder?"

"I mean... it just sounds like we both feel the same way.  Sometimes to a
fault.  Protective, loving.. wanting the best for you."

Reflecting on the truth of his words, Scully continued.  "The next few
years were very confusing for me.  I was literally on my own.  No
support from Mom or Dad and little contact with my brothers."

"Is that when you met Jack?"

Surprised that Mulder had even remembered him, she thought fondly of
her memories of Jack for the first time in years.

"Yeah, that was when I met Jack Willis.  I would like to sit here and say
it was the biggest mistake of my life, but I can't.  He was there for me
when I was finding myself, who I wanted to be.  Even though we didn't
work out, I still cared for him very much."

Mulder remained quiet, while his thoughts drifted to a time when he had
gotten in over his head with a certain sophisticated young classmate at
Oxford, Phoebe Green.   They had both used one another to find
themselves at a very impressionable age where the line between naivete
and innocence was thin.

"Do you ever regret it?"

"Jack?"

"No, joining the Bureau."

Raking her fingers through the fine sand in front of her making criss-
cross patterns, "I could say no... never, but it wouldn't be the truth."

"There are some days that I can't stand it.  Seeing the heinous crimes
perpetrated on victims, especially children, it makes my stomach turn.  I
know why you have nightmares now... I get them once in a while too.
How do you stop them?"

Wistfully grinning, "I wish I knew, Scully.  My odd sleeping habits are
probably a by-product of them."

Putting his arm around Scully, he pulled her closer into his side.  "After
Jack, what happened next?"

"Well..... you.  You happened, the X-files...... that's it."

Uncertain about how to ask,  "You ever regret coming back to me in the
basement?  I know Skinner offered you an out after you were returned."

Looking up into his eyes, she answered without skipping a beat.  "No,
never....... and Mulder, that is the truth."

Sensing a deeper reason for his question, "Do you, Mulder?  Do you
regret having me there?"

Pausing a few seconds, "There are a lot of things I regret in my life and
yes, some of  those things have to do with you, but I never would have
survived without you.  I was too selfish.... I always have been.
Especially when it comes to you."

Scully pulled him tighter this time with her own arm wrapped around his
waist.  A few reflective moments later she couldn't stand her own
curiosity.

"What things, Mulder?  What do you regret about me?"

"Nothing 'about' you, just some things that 'happened' to you.  I regret
how they constantly used you to try and get me to stop looking."

Mulder picked up a seashell and threw it into the surf that was slowly
creeping towards them.  "Most of all, I regret the year we spent apart.  I
know we needed the time apart, but I wish there was another way we
could have arrived where we are now without losing a year."

Burrowing herself into his side again as the wind from the surf kicked
up, "I know, Mulder....... but look at it this way........ it might not be as
good now if we hadn't taken the time to learn how to be friends again."


*************


High tide was slowly rolling in at the water's edge.  Returning  later,
they dined at a seafood restaurant that had been recommended by the
owners of the bed and breakfast. Softly lit, and romantic the restaurant
set the atmosphere of an old New England town, washing away at its
edges, existing only at the will of nature's design.

Slowly and wordlessly walking back to the old house, with their hands
joined, they both reminisced on their journey over the last few years.

Approaching the door to their room, Scully took out the key and fiddled
with it in the lock until the door unlatched.  Mulder covered his mouth,
hiding the small amusement, wondering if nerves had gotten the better
of his usually controlled, former partner.

Safely inside, Scully made her way to the bathroom in order to calm
down, hoping the few extra moments would stop her heart from racing.
The stairs weren't that steep in the small house, were they?

Exiting the bathroom, she found Mulder sitting on the side of the bed
staring at her softly.

"What?"

"Come here," he said seductively.

Scully slowly walked to the bed and took his offered hand.  Mulder
laced her fingers through his and leaned her into his side.  "Nervous?"

Strangely relieved he knew, "Yeah, a little I guess."

Mulder kissed the back of her hand.  "You're not alone."

"You know,  I just want this to be perfect."

"I know."

The creaking sound of a floorboard from the room above them caused a
break in the momentary silence that had quickly invaded the room.

Looking thoughtfully at their hands, Mulder felt the air growing heavier.
"Maybe it's not the right time, yet."

Somewhere between relief and anxiety, Scully tilted her head to look at
his face to face.  "Why are we both so afraid?"

"Because we both know....... the next step is our last one.  After that,
there's no going back."  Surrounding her with his arm, Mulder pulled
her sideways so she could lean more onto him.

"Scully, I think that's why we're 'both' nervous.  We know that after we
make love, our relationship will forever be changed.   All we've ever
known is what we've had so far."

Continuing after he saw the small nod of understanding from Scully,
"And bit by bit I want us to change, Scully.  I want to be yours
completely..... and I know you want the same."

"But?"

Mulder's eyes shut.  Locking her fingers tighter to Scully's, "No 'buts,'
Scully.... none at all."

Sitting there while the minutes passed, Scully felt like she still had a bit
of explaining left.  "Mulder, it's just that....I've never made love to
anyone that I .... I wanted so much with."

Mulder pulled their hands together and lightly kissed them.  "You could
never know..."

Looking into his eyes and seeing the unconditional love that they held,
she understood his ambiguous statement.  She could never know how
much he loved her at that moment in time.

End "Never For You..."  Chapter 9/23  -Memories Past-

"Never For You..."  An X-Files Novel  - Chapter 10/23   -Singular -
by  L. McCullen

-----------------------------------

[Singular]



Monday morning, in the parking garage, Agent Tom Colton spied the
pair as they absent-mindedly walked together, grinning at each other as
they laughed at some pointless joke that nobody else could hear.
Colton had also noticed they had both exited her car, together.   Petty
revenge was beneath Agent Colton.  He had a career to worry about
and  a few friends he held close, but the one that had slipped through
his fingers, burned him into rages that sometimes bordered on
obsessive.

He was supposed to be the one to break that big case in Baltimore.
Seeing them together on this morning after the conversation he had
overheard last week combined with the contented manner in which
they prominently displayed on their faces sealed his fury. Another plan
went into silent action.

The invitation to Dana Scully for lunch  had been a carefully
orchestrated attempt to revive his friendship with her since their
graduation from the Academy.  Knowing full well that Agent Mulder
would be with her, when Colton asked for her help on a case, he
had planned to make him play the part of the 'fool' that resided down in
the basement.  Then he could force her to see the error of her ways by
persisting to remain with Mulder.  He would play the hero, rescue her
from her misery, resurrect her career and she would be eternally
grateful.  Even though his mind had planned this coup de'tat, he had
never consciously intended to sweep her off her feet.....he assumed it.

What actually happened had turned into his worst nightmare.  Not only
did his plan backfire by strengthening their partnership, it had cost him
an enormous amount of embarrassment and ridicule.   Countermanding
Mulder's stake-out had allowed Eugene Victor Tooms to pursue and
assault Agent Scully.  This not only cost him whatever fleeting
relationship he had hoped for with her, but it also garnered him
a suspension for one week without pay by the Office of Professional
Review after the complaint filed by Agents Scully and Mulder.

If that had been all, it might have been enough for him to forget.  The
final crushing blow to his psyche had been the fact that basement
dweller, 'Spooky' Mulder, had been the one to make the arrest
and solve his case.  The pariah of the FBI had made him look like the
idiot.  Special Agent Colton was beyond petty things such as revenge,
however, Tom Colton was not.

Tom Colton came to work Monday morning.

*************


Tuesday, October 12
VCS Bullpen

Tuesday arrived like all others; boring and relatively peaceful.
Scully was at Quantico, with her partner taking notes from a visiting,
"leading" expert in Forensic Sciences spouting the virtues of proper
intestinal digestion traits to ensure accurate time-of-death
pronouncements.  It was dry, but informative.  As lunch rolled
around, she and Holland were visiting the Academy cafeteria when
Scully's cell phone shrilled.

"Scully."

"It's me,"  Mulder countered.

"What'cha want ....Me,"  Scully asked dryly.

"What I want and what I need right now are, unfortunately, not the
same thing," Mulder answered in a waning tone.

Detecting the pitch his voice had taken, "What is it that you 'need'
Mulder?"

"At the moment, the reason why both you and I have been summoned
to the OPC board tomorrow at 2:00."

Scully, sat there hearing the words but not wanting them to register.  All
previous encounters with OPC had never been pleasant for either of
them. Even when called in on behalf of AD Skinner that time, the visit
was distressing.

"Scully?  Did you hear me?"

Scully answered a moment later, "Yes, Mulder, I heard you.  You have
any idea what this is about?"

"Well, after getting back from lunch, I found the invitation in my box.
On a hunch, I checked your box too and found the same letter.  Since
both of our meetings are at the same time, I'm assuming it has
something to do with...... us."

After a few more seconds of silent communication, "I can't think of
anything else."

Scully pondered the facts given her, "I think your assumption is correct,
unless you did something while we were with the X-files that you didn't
tell me about," she said trying to put a positive spin on the situation.

"Regardless, Scully.  I can't see as how this is any of their business or
concern.  We're no longer partners, and the last time I checked I didn't
need to get a permission slip to date you."

"Mulder, if my father were still here, he would probably disagree with
you on that last part."  Mulder could feel her smirk clear across the line.

"Anyway.......wait........oh Mulder, they're calling us back for the
afternoon session.  I've got to run, we'll talk more about this tonight."

"Okay Scully......see'ya at home," Mulder said confidently.  Scully's
apartment was soon becoming home, in more ways than one.

"You gonna be there, Mulder," Scully expressed with anticipation at his
forthcoming reply.

"Always, Scully...."  The phone clicked off.  Scully curved her lips at the
affection  Mulder conveyed.

Mulder reread the memo "politely" requesting his presence at the
meeting. Otherwise known to the internal FBI masses as an
interrogation. After dialing the numbers that had at one time usually
elicited apprehension, he waited.

"Assistant Director Skinner's office, Kimberly speaking, how may I help
you."

"Afternoon Kimberly, this is Agent Mulder, is the AD around,"  Mulder
asked in the most polite and civil voice he could manage.

"Actually Agent Mulder, he just walked in his office back from lunch,
I'm sure he can take your call."

'Hmmm?'  Mulder thought.  Even Kimberly was being civil to him.
'Maybe the heart does grow fonder with absence', he mused.  "Nice to
speak to you again Kim, thanks."

"Anytime Agent Mulder.  I'll connect you through."  Mulder was now
thoroughly baffled.  He thought to himself, 'Scully will never believe
this', shaking his head.

"Agent Mulder, nice to hear from you.  What can I do for you today?"

"Well sir, I kind of need some advice.....some professional advice, if you
don't mind."

"Of course not Mulder, what's up?"  Skinner had softened from his
initial
briskness.  It always took him a second or two to warm up, if he was
going to on that particular day.

"Well, it seems that me and Scully have a date with the OPC tomorrow
and I was curious if you could give me any insight as to why," Mulder
calmly asked.

Skinner's reaction was of genuine surprise, "Hmmph.....Mulder, I have
no idea.  Scully still has another partner, correct?"

"That's correct, sir.  We haven't even worked on a case together since
July, and that was only a brief consult.  I'm stumped."

"Well, if you're thinking it has anything to do with your days in the X-
Files together, you can rest assure that it would have to come through
me first.  So it can't be that."

"Yeah, that's what we were thinking....."

Interrupting, "Hey Mulder?  Isn't Scully being reassigned to the
Experimental Forensics Program, when that starts in a few weeks?"

"Yes sir, from what I've heard from my ASAC, she's a virtual lock."

"Mulder, it might have something to do with that.  That program would
bring you two in on a lot of the same cases, if I'm remembering
correctly."

Sighing, "Even so, sir, she wouldn't be my partner.  We would work
together and collaborate more, but she would still have an assigned
partner from my understanding.  Also, there are no rules about
fraternization in the Bureau's policies between fellow agents."

"The only other thing I can think of is possibly someone submitting a
complaint about your 'activities' here at the office......if you catch my
drift."

"That would seem plausible, except for the fact that  both Scully and I
agreed to designate the Hoover building and situations where we are
on-the-job as 'hands-off.'  We want to be  careful to keep a professional
appearance just in case something like this were to happen."

"Then I don't know what to tell you Mulder.  I would suggest you go to
the OPC office downstairs this afternoon and check-out one of their
updated handbooks so you will be prepared for any problems you might
not have thought of."  Mulder's head lit up with the suggestion.  It was
a solid idea.

"Sir, that's a good idea.  Thanks for the suggestion." Mulder was
significantly relieved now that he at least had something to do to try
and figure this out with only twenty-fours hours to go.

"Anytime, Mulder."

"Thanks again."

"No problem, tell Agent Scully I said 'hello,' and good luck tomorrow."

With no further word from Scully that afternoon, time passed by slowly
as he ditched his current case to study up on the "Manual of Rules and
Procedures"  from the Office of Professional Conduct.  Similar to the
Office of Professional Review, the OPC dealt more with the behaviors
and ethical standards of its agents rather than procedural and policy
making decisions.

Hearing Scully drive up, he dashed to the front door to greet her.  A
warm kiss marked her arrival home and he helped her unload her arms
from reams of scientific journals she was usually bringing home to read.

"Mulder?   Is that what I think it is,"  she spied in the kitchen.

"Why yes Agent Scully, it is what you think........dinner," Mulder wore a
satisfying grin.

In a sense somewhere between horror and stunned disbelief, "Oh my
God......you're domesticated too.....I never had any idea."

"With that attitude, you never will," he retorted playfully.   She
surrendered her feigned surprise to genuine gratitude and took him in
by the waist leaning her head back, smiling warmly.

"I think I could get used to this, Mulder."  He leaned in with a quick
kiss on the cheek, "I think I could too,"  and broke the embrace to bark
out his next order.  "Let's eat, I'm starved."

Mulder related to Scully the details of his talk with Skinner and the
fruitless results he had encountered with the manual from OPC over
dinner.  Mulder had prepared a simple pasta dinner with salad and garlic
bread.  Scully's continued amazement at the quality of dinner was
becoming slightly annoying.  'And she thinks I'm sexist!', Mulder
thought to himself.  After retiring to the living room the conversation
continued.

"Well, I spent all afternoon racking my brain trying to think of what
could have brought this on.  You've been exceptionally good at the
office about not displaying any overt signs of affection.  In fact, if
anything the only contact we usually have IN the office is over the
phone or in a hallway."

"I know Scully...I've been thinking and the idea about someone filing a
complaint seems to make the most sense.  Someone would have to have
direct knowledge plus they could do it anonymously......."

Stopping him before he could pursue the thought any further, "Mulder
I hate to tell you this.  I didn't even want to tell you about this because I
didn't think too much of it at the time, but last week while walking into
the breakroom, I could have sworn I heard your name mentioned in the
same breath along with mine.  The conversation ended abruptly when
they saw me walk in.  I figured it was just the usual office grape-vine
chatter, so I paid it no mind.......especially since we agreed not to hide
anything."

"You're right, Scully.  I've noticed a few hushed whispers here and there
when entering a conference room in the past week or two also.  That
only makes finding out exactly WHO made the complaint harder,"
Mulder let out a deep sigh.

"Well the only person I know whom I have actually talked about us with
is Larry and he doesn't seem to be the type to whine.  He likes you,
besides, if he wanted to he could have brought this up sooner."  This
time it was Scully's turn to let out a reflective sigh of frustration.

"I know Jeff  knows, but he has to work with me.  You know what a
pain in the ass I can be even when I'm in a good mood.  I seriously
doubt he would do it.  Hell......when's the last time you even saw Jeff?"

Scully pondered this question thoughtfully, "I think....last Monday.  I
doubt he's the one Mulder.  What would he have to gain by it anyway,
he's already on his way to climbing the ladder."   With this last remark
by Scully, both sets of eyes locked on each other as the same thoughts
raced through their minds.

In unison, they confirmed each other's suspicions, "Colton!"

"He's the only person that I know who would be weasel enough to do
something like this, let alone the only person I can think of with any
remote kind of motive."

"What kind of motive Mulder?  What motive could he possibly have,"
Scully asked with a confused look on her face.

"Uhhhhh.......well.....," Mulder stuttered.

"Yessss......Mulder?"

"Back after the first case with Tooms he cornered  me in the hallway
one day and said that he would make me pay for making him look
foolish in front of everyone."

Suspiciously, "Mulllddeerrr?  What did you do to get him to make a
veiled threat?"

"Ohh.....I don't know.....something like ....listing on the complaint
...about putting your life in danger, rearranging his dental work....you
know....the usual .....'macho' man stuff...as you say,"  Mulder's eyes
were circling around the room trying to diffuse his amusement.

Shaking her head slowly back and forth all Scully could let out was a
sarcastically laced, "My hero."

"I was always curious, Dana, but I never felt comfortable asking you..
Did you and Colton have a history or something?"

Looking back over her shoulder to Mulder on the couch, "You think
this is what this is about?"

"I don't know, I was just curious.  He always seemed to take it a little
too personal."

"He asked me out one time back when we were in the Academy, but I
declined.  It was just after Jack and I broke up.   I think he was hoping
to catch me on the rebound.   Other than that one lunch we had that was
it."

Mulder continued, trying to quickly get off the last subject,
"Regardless, of who it is or what it is they think they have on us, there
is absolutely nothing in the OPC manual that can suggest any
impropriety on our behalf.  I say we go in and turn the tables on them."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you mean by 'turn the tables'
Mulder," Scully looked over apprehensively as if she didn't want to
know.

"I say we go in, answer any questions they have honestly, inform them
of our relationship and our knowledge we have that this in no way can
affect our personnel histories and stick together."

Leaning in his legs while she sat in front of him on the floor, she looked
back.  "United we stand, divided we fall."

"Great minds think alike."  Mulder then proceeded to release the
tenseness from her shoulders that had been building up all day since
lunch.  Sliding down off the couch so that she sat with her back to him
while sitting between his legs, he continued to work out the stiffness
that concern could only bring about.

Resting his head on her shoulder, he whispered into her ear, "Dana,.....
please don't worry about this.  There is nothing they can do to hurt us.
They have nothing, but a little idle office gossip, and a little man trying
to save some face from an incident that took place long ago."

Stilling his hands, she turned to face him, "Mulder, I don't doubt you for
a second, it just ....it just kills me to see you made a target of constantly.
This is obviously aimed at you and I'm just tired of the jealousy and
pettiness."

They both had their apprehensions, but now that they had a game-plan,
they're uneasiness had been lessened.


*************


Wednesday, October 13,
Office of Professional Conduct
1:55 PM

On the leather office sofa provided in the lobby of the outer office, the
two sat together.  Patiently, anxiously awaiting the proceedings to
commence. The silence was companionable over the clicking keyboard
sounds that the receptionist was making. Mulder mused to himself, how
appropriate it was that the receptionist had that definite FOA (front-
office-appearance) look.  She had ignored both of them, only nodding in
recognition of their arrival with a callous perusal of their ID tags,
clipped to their garments.

One of the more striking impressions that the office made was its
incredibly, antiseptic feel, and if you tried hard enough, its smell.  The
office reeked of cold, formal confrontations that were probably short
and to the point.  The members of the O.P.C. were routinely an eclectic
mix of former field agents, members of upper management, and always
included a psychiatric specialist.  This 'specialist' was usually there to
serve as their unofficial polygraph test.  He or she would be there to
gauge the reactions, mannerisms, and body language of the subjects in
question.    Mulder knew the drill, and unfortunately over the years
because of him, Scully had become fully mindful of the intentions of this
group.

After setting themselves in preparation for today's events the air of
their confidence was slowly eroding as the hour drew near.  Both of
them could sense it.  Leaning over to check his tie she leaned up into
his ear and said the only word of  support she could think of.
"Together."

Mulder slowly looked over to study her piercing gaze and let a small
almost arrogant smile form on his face that matched the light in his eyes.
Reverting back to what he knew best he attempted to lighten the mood,
"Yeah Scully, of all the times I went to the principal's office, this is the
first time I won't be by myself."

Scully returned the comment with a smile and squeezed his hand to
assure him he would not be alone on this trip. "Somehow, I find that
hard to believe."

Right on cue, the inner office door opened to reveal the dark-haired,
pointed man that had always been present to these meetings before,
"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder, would you please join us?"

In unison they both got to their feet and entered the room.  A rather
large, round conference table centered in the room was filled at the
opposite side with the other committee members.  Along with the man
who had let them in, Mulder recognized the 'specialist.'  She was an
older prudish looking woman whom he had never heard speak.  Next to
her was SAC David West, which they both expected and a couple of
other 'suits'  that he vaguely recognize.  Off in the corner was a
stenographer who was also required for official purposes to record all
statements made in the proceeding.  In this capacity, Mulder and Scully
recognized that this was also a little more official than some of their
previous encounters with the O.P.C.

On their end remained two empty chairs, obviously meant for them, and
they promptly took their seats.   The 'pointed' man took the center seat,
flanked by the rest of the lynch mob and started to speak.

"Thank you two for joining us today.  We have convened this meeting
today to discuss the recent developments of your personal relationship
which have recently been brought to our attention."

One thought raced through Mulder's head as if on automatic. 'Someone
DID file a complaint.'

Before the 'pointed' man could continue, Scully launched herself at him
with a calm, confident reply.  Their plan was to be proactive in this
oncoming assault and Scully had obviously not forgotten, "Sir, if I may
ask, of what business is this of yours or this office regarding, as you
said yourself, our personal relationship?"

Mulder cheered wildly in his mind and willed her even more support
through his thoughts.  The 'pointed' man  was not impressed however.
"It is the business of this office when two agents who have worked
together in past as partners, and still work together in close proximity,
within the same section are exploring a more 'involved' relationship."
Giving Mulder his turn, Scully awaited his resulting response.

"Are you accusing Agent Scully and myself of any specific wrong-
doings, or misconduct?"

This question actually seemed to catch a few of the people at the other
end of the table by surprise.  It was usually them who were confronting
the subject with specific instances of misconduct.  The 'pointed' man
resumed the battle without hesitation.

"Agent Mulder, it has been brought to our attention that the two of you
are keeping the same residence together.  Do you deny this?"

Scully, incensed, rejoined the fray.  "Again I don't see how that is any
of your business,  with all due respect.  The fact that Agent Mulder and
I are seeing each other outside of working hours on a personal basis is
inconsequential to our working relationship, which for the last year and
a half has only been on rare occasion."

"Which brings me to my point," the 'pointed' man drawled with a
condescending look at the pair.  "It seems that with the possible
promotion of Agent Scully to the I.S.U.'s profiling team, you two would
be working together more often, and that is why we were concerned to
learn about......."

Before he could finish, Mulder's highly analytical mind interrupted him.
"Hold on....stop right there.  You still didn't answer my earlier question
did you?"  Mulder's courage had already shot up another notch as his
mind was forming a specific direction in which he wanted to take this
conversation.

Now in his own condescending tone, Mulder continued,  "You don't
have anything on us do you?  You can't point to any specific instance
of misconduct, because I," looking over to Scully, "WE haven't done
anything wrong.  And YOU know it."

The 'pointed' man now fidgeted for the first time.  "Regardless of what
has or hasn't happened, the fact that you two might be working together
will pose a serious problem to the morale of other agents."

With a snort of disbelief, Scully responded.  "How is that, sir?  And
what do you mean by 'might' be working together?"  On this last phrase
Scully gave a glaring, cold glance to SAC West, who could only look
away.

"Are you saying that Agent Scully may not be promoted due to the fact
of a personal relationship with another agent......who isn't even her
partner?"

Scully couldn't resist the opportunity to jump in a further bolster the
support her former partner had offered her.  "According to SAC West,
the position was already offered to me and I accepted, during the
interview last week"

The 'pointed' man was now glowering at SAC West.  This development
was unforeseen, just as the next one was.  Mulder reached down to
retrieve the manual that came from the very office he sat in not more
that twenty-four hours ago.  Scully gave him a reassuring nod that this
was indeed the correct time to spring their trump card.

He returned his hand to the table with the handbook and forcefully slid
it across the table to the 'pointed' man.  "What's this,"  he replied with a
sudden regret of his own words.

"Uhh...gee...I think it's the O.P.C.'s official manual for conduct of
personnel behavior.  I thought you would recognize it .....maybe not."

Mulder's sarcasm was biting and dry.  Scully slid her hand under the
table to gently give him a squeeze of restraint that he quickly
acknowledged.  She knew he was pushing the envelope, but it wouldn't
be the Mulder she knew if he hadn't.

"Sooo...?," the `pointed' man returned.

"Sooo...maybe you should open up the manual to the page where it
clearly states that Agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, who
are not partnered, are restricted from fraternizing with any other
personnel of the Bureau outside of the work environment."

"Agent Mulder, you obviously know that there is no statement of such
in this manual. The official policy states such fraternization is neither
forbidden or encouraged."

Before he could finish Scully saw her opening and made the most of it.

"Then, why in the hell are we here in the first place?"

The room fell silent.  The 'pointed' man knew when to cut his losses.
Looking over the the SAC and then the 'specialist', he resigned himself
to call it a draw, even though his ego would call it a sincere beating.

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, thank you for your time, you are free to
return to your current duties."

Scully looked at Mulder, Mulder looked back.  Even though the battle
was over, he couldn't resist one final, parting shot.  He could afford it.
Another reprimand on his file would only balance out the fact that his
file had been clean for the last ten or so months.

"That's it?  Gentlemen, just for the record I want to note, that your
veiled threat towards Scully's career, is on the record," he said pointing
to the stenographer who was caught a little off guard at the fact
someone had recognized her presence.   "A case of  discrimination
based on such pitiful accusations would most certainly put this office in
a bad light."

Scully pulled his arm to urge him out of the room and he quickly threw
a glance around to the other members.  Mulder picked up his briefcase
and joined her at the door.

The ensuing ride on the elevator was quiet.  Mulder's last words to the
committee were ringing in her ears.  'Did he really threaten to sue on my
behalf?'   Scully had been a little thrown by that last comment.  She was
confused.  Angry that he would insinuate himself in her personnel
affairs, relieved that he had stood up for her, and guilty because she
had not detected the veiled threat in the first place.   Yes, she decided as
she replayed the conversation over in her head, it was definitely an
overture of warning.

Mulder was quietly boiling at what had transpired over the last thirty
minutes.  "I can't believe they just said what I think they said, Scully.
He outright threatened to hold up your promotion because of this."

Scully glared, "I can't believe what YOU just said to them, Mulder.   A
whole lot of good that did us, not to mention another fine example
lodged firmly in West's head of your insubordinate behavior."

"MY WHAT?," Mulder looked at her incredulously.  "I was just trying
to......"

"I know EXACTLY what you were doing Mulder.  You were doing the
same thing you've done for years.  Trying to protect me by putting
yourself in harms way.  I don't need you to do that for me, I don't want
you to do that for me....."

"WELL, maybe I NEED to do it!!"

Fuming, Mulder had just crossed his arms in resignation that those
words that he had just spoken were about to haunt him for a long
time.......well, at least the next few weeks probably.

With a derisive chuckle, Scully took up a similar position, shaking her
head. In possibly the most sarcastic tone she could scrape together,
"Well, it's so nice to see chivalry is not dead  yet."

The ding of the elevator door prompted them to exit.   "Later,"  was all
Mulder could get out as he hastily exited the car.

Scully sighed to herself and issued an even more sardonic, "Yep, happy
birthday, Mulder," under her breath.

As she punched the button of the elevator car to return to parking
garage, she started to comprehend what had just happen.    Typical
male, macho "testosterone", fueled by a sense of feminist liberation....
okay,... a healthy sense of feminine liberation mixed with one part
bureaucratic committee from hell and what do you get?   You get the
only happy person in the bunch.....the one who instigated it all.


*************


Folger Park
6:56 PM


Sitting at the prescribed bench, the smaller figure looked around her
noticing all that went by waiting for the man to arrive as usual.  He must
have been running a little late, she thought to herself.

Sure enough, the man walked slowly towards her along the path,
keeping to his promise that he made a few hours earlier.

"You're late."

"Don't start with me now."

"I'm not.  I was just pointing out that you were late."

Frustrated, the man took out a new cigar and lit it to the behest of his
companion.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke those things."

"Well, when I'm not myself, they take the edge off.   Why would you
care?"

Pulling her trenchcoat tighter around herself, the smaller figure wasted
no more time.  "Is she willing to accept the position."

"I think so.  We'll take our time until we think the time is right. It hasn't
been offered yet, but the chances are good.  After being sidetracked
down in the basement she couldn't possibly refuse the offer."

"Her reconciliation with her former partner was unforeseen.  Would the
offer lead to the desired results?"

"Most likely and if not..... there are other ways."


*************

Scully's Apartment
9:21 PM

After returning from Quantico from a forensic consult, she arrived home
to find what she had expected.....no Mulder.  It was no surprise that he
wanted to put a little distance between them since this afternoon's
'discussion', she ruminated.  It was classic Mulder.  She smiled at the
thought, but it quickly dissipated by the fact that it was his birthday,
she had made grand plans, and even though it had only been four or so
hours since the 'discussion' she missed him.

Knowing Mulder is a lot like having your teeth cleaned.  It was
somewhat irritating but the results and benefits were well worth it.  In
short run and the long run.  Scully knew that it would do no good to
seek him out.  She still firmly believed the ball was in his court.  'I'm
right on this one, and he knows it.'

At about 9:00 that evening Scully looked up from the book she was
reading to hear the key slip in her door.  A grin that she tried to force
back firmly took root on her face.  A casual version of Mulder walked in
and sat down across from her in her favorite chair next to the fireplace.

"I'm a jerk, aren't I?"  Mulder said with his head still dipped down.

"Yes you are Fox Mulder."  Scully's sharp chin remained stiff as she let
him see how angered she had been with his inconsiderate actions.

"But, you're my jerk"  On the last two words, his head jerked up to
catch her smile.

"I'm sorry Scully.  I shouldn't have said what I did.....in the conference
room.....or in the elevator."  Scully was pleasantly surprised to hear the
apology for the comment to the O.P.C. board, she was really not
expecting it....at least this quickly.

"Well, don't be so hard on yourself. Actually, I'm kind of glad you said
what you did to those boneheads.  Maybe now, they'll be afraid of us."

With a thoroughly confused look, "You really think so Scully?"

"Well......no.....but I thought it would make you feel better,"  her smile
was even more brilliant now as she stifled a snicker.

Mulder relaxed a bit at the relief of this little rift being over.  Scully put
her book down and crossed the short distance to where he sat and took
up residence, kneeling between his legs.

"Mulder, I know your intentions were well meant and I won't hold you
back, but sometimes you have to let go of these insecurities.  I'm a
grown woman, I can handle myself.  I appreciate it that your sense of
nobility is concerned for me, but let me fight my battles in my own way
and time."

"I know... Scully, somewhere in there it went from being our battle
to my battle.  I'll try not to do it again."

Scully leaned up to kiss his cheek, "That's all I ask, besides, I knew you
would see it my way........eventually."

Pulling her up so she sat in his lap, "Oh really, Dr. Scully?  Do you
always get your way,"  he asked slyly.

"Ummmm.........normally," she responded.  Taking his face in her hands,
she whispered.  "I got you didn't I?"

Laughing at the well-timed punch line, he pulled her closer.  "Yes you
did."

Pulling away briefly, "Sooo.....when did you figure it out?"

Knowing full well what she was talking about Mulder sensed her
curiosity.  "You mean when did I figure out we were being played for
fools by whoever sent in the complaint?"

"Yeah." she waited.

"Ohhh....I'd say about two seconds after I saw that prick Colton staring
at me after I exited the elevator.  Even if he wasn't the one, he seemed
to be enjoying my pissy mood a little too much."

"You didn't say....."

She was cut off before she could continue, "No I didn't.....I wouldn't
want to give him the satisfaction."

With a small sigh of relief she felt this was over and it was time to move
on. "Did you eat?  I left some dinner for you in case you didn't."

"Yeah, I stopped at a McDonald's and drowned my sorrows in a box of
chicken McNuggets."

With a devious grin, "Well did you happen to have any dessert?"

He looked at her curiously, "No......why?"

"Don't tell me you forgot, Mulder?"  She looked back at him in a sense
of horror.

"Forgot what... my birthday?"

"Yes, it's your birthday you idiot!" Pulling him up from the chair, she
dragged him by the wrist and led him to the kitchen.  She pulled a big
white box from the refrigerator and placed it before him.

"We've never celebrated it before."

Looking as innocent and angelic as possible, her eyes darted away.
"Well maybe we've never had a reason to celebrate before."

Mulder watched  her suspiciously.  He knew that look from her.  The
look that said, `I know something you don't.'

Mulder, prepared for the worst possible humiliation on earth as he
opened it to find a cake with "Happy Birthday, Mulder!" written in
green letters.

Decorated along the edges were flying saucer's and other UFO related
paraphernalia.  Mulder laughed favorably as he pulled Scully into his
arms and kissed her soundly.

Quietly replying in a low, serious voice, "Happy Birthday, Mulder....you
deserve one ......no matter how much of a jerk you can be."  Humor was
always safe to resort to when one or the other felt the moment getting a
little heavy.  Both of them were long-time suppressers of emotions.  Old
habits do die hard.

After blowing out the candles, Scully had been itching to ask him what
he had asked for.

"Well, Mulder..........what did you wish for?"

"To be honest Scully, it's been so long since I blew out the candles on a
birthday cake I guess I forgot."  Mulder look a little embarrassed at the
admission.

"Well don't worry, I made one for you."  Caught off guard at her
admission, "Oh really, what was that?"

"You know I can't tell you that Mulder!"

"Well, it's my wish isn't it?"   Looking back to Mulder with a smug grin,

"Yes it was, and trust me when I say, if you want it to come true.....you
won't ask!"

"Next topic," Mulder said, quickly changing the subject.

Scully smiled, "Good answer, Mulder, good answer."



End of "Never For You..."  Chapter 10/23  -Singular-