From esuci@csv.warwick.ac.uk Tue May 13 14:17:45 1997 Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW : Never The Same 1/1 From: Michael Stevens -------- Hi. It's my first completed and posted work, so be gentle. Comments are welcomed though. Rating: PG Spoilers: None Disclaimer: They aren't mine, I know, I know.... Topic: Sorta MSR Music : _I Will Never Be The Same_ from the album _Yes I Am_ by Melissa Etheridge Never The Same by Michael Stevens "Are you sure you want to do this Ms Scully ?". AD Skinner's voice penetrated Dana's mind, and she tried to decide for the hundredth time if she was doing the right thing. But, she knew she couldn't work in the Bureau anymore. Not after what had happened between her and a certain other bureau employee... "Yes, Sir" she replied, but even Skinner, formal and distant though he was, could hear the doubt in her voice. Still, he couldn't ignore a signed letter of resignation. But, he could give her a chance to think it over. "Well, I can't say I like it, but I suppose I have no choice. You are suspended immediately for two weeks for unprofessional conduct. I never saw this letter." he told her. Scully listened in shock as he called Security in to escort her from the building. As she was hustled into her car, she wondered why Skinner had done it. He knew what had gone on, the pain she now felt in the idea of working in the Bureau now. She drove off, and on her way home, through her tears, she noticed a song playing on the radio... "This goes out to everyone out there who's just broken up" She smiled as the familiar chords began to play So you walked with me for a while Bared your naked soul And you told me of your plan How you would never let them know In the morning of the night You cried a long lost child And I tried and I tried to hold you And Mulder had trusted her, had shown her his soul. That first night in the motel, he'd revealed the very core of himself - what drove him to pursue the x-files with such need. She'd loved him even then, not because of that jawline, but because of the need in him, the child that still needed to find his sister, and make everything right, make everything true. Dana remembered when she'd first looked at Mulder, in the middle of the night, deep in some forest somewhere, soaked with mud, dripping with water in the rain, and realised that she loved it. That she would follow him anywhere, do anything, and it would be alright. Because he was there. Several weeks after that, she'd asked him to dinner with her. He'd agreed, but convinced her that he could pick the location. After an evening of eating chips while watching baseball, she'd got no closer to Mulder, and realised she needed to try a different approach. So, on Valentine's Day, she'd sent Mulder the biggest card she could find, an box of chocolates, and all the flowers she could afford. It'd taken him a while, but eventually, his skills as a FBI agent had been able to track her down. She'd laughed at his psychological profile of the unknown lover though. But, after he'd fingerprinted nearly everyone else on the same floor, he'd come to her. She'd simply grinned at him, and then laughed out loud at the expression on his face as he realised how she felt. But I, I will never be the same Oh I, I will never be the same Caught in your eyes Lost in your name I will never be the same She would, she knew, never return to law enforcement, never do anything like the same work again. She would never trust anyone in quite the same way, working and living together so closely that they often finished sentences for each other. Mulder had a piece of her she never would... never could get back. She'd thought she'd seen the same love in his eyes, but she knew now how he'd really felt. How important the x-files were to him. What he was prepared to sacrifice. Secrets of your life I never wanted for myself But you guarded them like a lie Placed up on the highest shelf He'd never completely trusted her, she knew now. Always had a tiny hint of that original paranoia, that belief that she was not part of his quest; that she was there not to work with him but against him. In the morning of the night When I woke to find you gone I knew your distant devil Must be draggin' you along And then had come that night. When it'd looked like it was her life, or a chance at the truth. When they had both come so close. Only to be torn apart by Mulder's need for answers. And you swore that you were bound for glory And for wanting you had no shame But I loved you And then I lost you And I will never be the same She stopped the car, and sat there. By the side of the road. Crying for what she'd lost.