From: aduclos@aol.com (ADuclos) Subject: REPOST: The Next Best Thing (1/5) Date: 26 Aug 1995 01:05:29 -0400 The characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. This story, however, is the product of my own demented, twisted and mushy imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) ____________________________________ << The Next Best Thing / Part 1 >> - by Anik Duclos Mulder was staring at the woman sitting across the table from him, lost in thought. The copper-colored head of hair, the blue eyes... He suddenly noticed she was looking at him, obviously waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry, Scully. What?" "Melissa. Call me Melissa. Scully sounds so... impersonal." "Melissa." She started again. She was talking about precognition and second-sight, topics that would normally fascinate him. Tonight, however, Mulder just couldn't concentrate on any of it. What was wrong with him, anyways? He should be enjoying this. When Scully's sister had called him up and asked him if he wanted to have dinner with her, it had sounded great. He had sensed a kindred spirit in Melissa Scully, someone who actually shared his beliefs instead of always trying to prove him wrong. So why wasn't it working? Something didn't feel quite right. He made a conscious effort to pay more attention to her. After dinner, they went for a walk by the water. They sat on a bench and talked some more. "Would you like to go to my place for coffee or something?" Mulder asked her, surprising himself. Now, where had that come from? "I'll go for something..." she replied, smiling at him and getting to her feet. __________________________________ Mulder's apartment The next morning Mulder slowly opened his eyes. He felt like hell. There was a strange buzzing in his head. There it was again. Oh... It was the doorbell. Mulder dragged himself out of bed, trying not to wake Melissa. The doorbell buzzed again. "All right, all right. I'm coming," he muttered. Where were his sweatpants, anyways? That damned bell... The hell with the pants! Whoever it was was going to have to live with silk boxers. As he made his way to the door, side-stepping the piles of magazines and empty boxes of pizza that cluttered the floor, Mulder thought about the night before. That had been a mistake. What in the world had he been thinking of, anyways? Well, he knew what he had been thinking of, but that was still no excuse. He knew Melissa had been... convenient. Nothing more than a substitute for... "Scully!" His partner stood at the door, holding up a bag from the corner bakery. "Hey Mulder," Scully said cheerfully, walking past him and into the living room. "I was in the neighbourhood, when I found myself burdened by an extra donut and coffee. I figured I would just drop by and..." "Fox?" Melissa called out, wandering into the living room. Scully found herself staring at her sister, who was wearing Mulder's robe. "Melissa?" "Dana... Hi. What are you doing here so early?" Mulder just stood there, petrified. This was not good. Not good at all. Scully could feel herself blushing. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize that... I'll leave now... I'll see you at work, Mulder." With that, she left. "Scully! Scully, wait! Damn!" Mulder dashed into the bedroom. Where were those damn sweatpants? The hell with it! He ran out the door still wearing nothing but boxers. "Scully!" He ran down the corridor, only to have the elevator doors close in his face. He had to get to her. He had to explain. Mulder wrenched open the stairwell door and ran down the steps four at a time at breakneck speed. He burst into the lobby, just as Scully was getting out of the elevator. "Scully!" She ignored him, walking out the door. Mulder only hesitated for a second before following her out into the street. He grabbed her arm. "Scully! I want to explain..." "Mulder, go back inside. You're not even wearing any clothes! Just... Go." She shook her arm free, and walked away. "Damn it!" Only then did Mulder realize that everyone was staring at him. And for good reason. What a sight: a grown man out in the street, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, on a cold March day. He watched helplessly as Scully drove off in her car. Defeated, he went back inside. As he stepped off the elevator, he saw Melissa leaving. "Melissa... I'm sorry... I..." "Never mind. If I had known how you felt about Dana, I would never have called..." "It's not like that. Scully and I are partners, friends..." "Look, you can lie to yourself if you want, but you can't fool me. I'm just sorry I didn't see it earlier. I guess I just didn't want to... Goodbye, Fox." Mulder walked into his apartment, closed the door, and collapsed on the couch. This day was definitely not going well. He had to talk to Scully. After a quick shower and a brief hunt for clean clothes, Mulder was on his way. Traffic was at a standstill, as usual. By the time he made it to the J. Edgar Hoover building, he was going crazy. He quickly made his way down to the basement office they shared. Pausing briefly at the door, he took a deep breath, then walked in. Scully was sitting at her desk, typing away at her computer. She didn't even look up. "Scully, I want to explain." "Mulder, there's nothing to explain. What you do with your time off is your own business. I should have called first." "No, it's just that I... I didn't want to... Melissa was there, and..." "Oh that's wonderful, Mulder," Scully answered in a controlled voice. "So you're telling me you slept with my sister because she just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Very nice." This wasn't going well. It was all coming out wrong. "No... It's just that I couldn't..." "Couldn't what, Mulder? Couldn't wait to get a woman, any woman, in bed for another meaningless one-nighter? What?" Mulder could tell she was getting angrier, but he was frozen, unable to say a single word. "Well, what? Your little collection of movies wasn't enough anymore? WHAT?" she hurled at him, at the top of her voice. "No!" "Then why, Mulder? Why in the hell did you have to pick my sister? _WHY_?" "BECAUSE_I_COULDN'T_HAVE_YOU!..." =========================================================================== From: aduclos@aol.com (ADuclos) Subject: NEW: The Next Best Thing (2/5) Date: 26 Aug 1995 01:05:35 -0400 The characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. This story, however, is the product of my own demented, twisted and mushy imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) ________________________________________ << The Next Best Thing / Part 2 >> - by Anik Duclos "BECAUSE_I_COULDN'T_HAVE_YOU!" All the color drained out of Scully's face, the initial look of surprise slowly being replaced by one of anger. Mulder braced himself for the onslaught he knew would come, but Scully remained quiet. He silently cursed himself. What had he done? Whatever had possessed him to say that? He wished with every fiber of his being that he could take it back, could put things back the way they had been. But it was too late. With those five little words, he had possibly destroyed the best thing in his life. Why now? He had done a very good job of hiding his feelings from Scully, and from himself, for a long time. Almost three years. So why did he have to blow it now? No! I didn't think about it. That's not what happened. Scully fought back the tears that stung her eyes. Damn him! She didn't want to feel this way. She should be angry at him. She *wanted* to be angry at him. But all she could feel was hurt and betrayed. She bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to drive away the tears. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing how much this had hurt her. Once she was sure she wouldn't lose control of her emotions, Scully took a deep breath and slowly looked up at Mulder with what she hoped was a neutral expression Mulder's heart sank at the stare his partner levelled at him. Her eyes were cold. So cold... She just stared at him, stared at him not as a friend, but as a stranger. Gone was the understanding and affection that always warmed her gaze. He had killed even that. He couldn't stand the silence anymore. He wished she would just say something, anything. He knew he should leave her alone, but his fear of losing her eventually overrode his common sense, and he reached out for her. "Dana..." "Don't!" she said, scrambling out of his reach. "Don't come near me!" Her reaction hurt more than any physical blow could ever have. He had to do something. Had to make her understand... "Please, Dana. Let me explain..." "NO!" Scully could feel her control crumbling. Damn him! How could he do this to her? "You can't do this to me, Mulder. I_WON'T_LET_YOU!" She then stalked out of the office, leaving behind a stunned Mulder... _______________________________________________ Scully leaned against the door of the ladies' room, shaking. She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her racing heart. Oh god... What had happened back there? All she had wanted was to stay calm and collected, not to show him any emotion. But when he had reached out, something deep inside her had snapped. She had wanted to lash out at him, to hurt him like he had hurt her. It had taken all the will she possessed to walk out of that office before she said, or did, something irreparable. Never before in her life had she lost control like that. She felt physically ill. She didn't know what to do. She needed time. Time to calm down. Time to think. Time to sort out how she felt. She couldn't face Mulder right now. She just couldn't. After making sure that Mulder wasn't waiting in the hall, she slipped out of the washroom and made her way out of the building. _______________________________________________ Mulder was worried. Scully had been gone for over 15 minutes. She should have come back by now. She would come back. She would... She had to. She just had to. He would give her an hour. One hour. The longest hour of his life... _______________________________________________ Scully found herself wandering by the reflecting pool. She stopped and sat down on a bench . Mulder's little confession had brought her orderly world crashing down. She had always managed to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought of Mulder with another woman. It was, after all, none of her business. As long as she didn't know what Mulder did in his personal life, she had been fine. But his sleeping with Melissa had stirred feelings she just hadn't been ready, nor willing, to acknowledge. For a long time, Scully had fooled herself into believing that they were just friends. Close friends. Best friends. But *just* friends. However, the long weeks in Alaska, spent in vigil by his bedside, had made her realize how wrong she had been. She could have lost him. Could have lost him without ever having a chance to tell him how she felt. She loved him... Had loved him for a long time. She could deal with that. After all, Mulder was her partner and friend. It was only natural that she care about him. She knew he loved her too, and felt secure in the knowledge that he would always be there for her. Neither one had ever said anything. They hadn't needed to. They had just known. Or so she had thought... Watching him teetering on the edge of death had hurt, but not as much as seeing Melissa coming out of Mulder's bedroom, fresh out of Mulder's bed, wearing Mulder's robe. To lose him to death was something she had no control over, and could thus come to accept. However, to lose him to another woman, especially her own sister, was more than she could handle. It was her fault. She had worked so hard at denying her feelings that she had lost him. Dammit! She hadn't wanted to fall in love with him. Before walking into that basement office three years ago, Dana Scully had always done the right thing. The appropriate thing. Always going by the book. Falling in love with her partner was definitely *not* the right thing to do. It was most definitely *not* appropriate. It went against all the rules. It was... It was *wrong*. But all the rationalizations in the world hadn't been enough to keep it from happening. She had fallen in love with him. "Oh god, what am I going to do?" _____________________________________________ Mulder looked at his watch. 59 minutes... That was it, he was going after her. As he grabbed his jacket, he heard the sound of heels echoing on the concrete floor. She had come back! Sighing in relief, he turned towards the door. "Scully..." The words died on his lips when he saw who it was. Wrong Scully... =========================================================================== From: aduclos@aol.com (ADuclos) Subject: NEW: The Next Best Thing (3/5) Date: 26 Aug 1995 15:31:02 -0400 The characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. This story, however, is the product of my own demented, twisted and mushy imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) ________________________________________ << The Next Best Thing / Part 3 >> - by Anik Duclos "Melissa?" Melissa Scully groaned inwardly. She had been hoping to avoid running into Fox Mulder. All she wanted to do was forget the whole thing had ever happened. But she should have known the cosmic powers that be would not let her off that easy. Never mess with True Love. Sighing deeply, she resigned herself to the inevitable. "I'm looking for Dana." She couldn't miss the look of pain that flashed across his face at the mention of her sister's name. What had she done? "Look, Melissa, I wanted to apologize. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have... I mean, I..." "I understand, Fox. It's just that Dana kept insisting that you were just partners..." Mulder winced at that. Just partners. Not exactly how he felt about her. "... that you were friends. But I saw how you acted when she was in the hospital, how badly you were hurting. I knew..." She had known. She just hadn't cared. She had done the typical Melissa thing, taking what she wanted, not thinking about the repercussions. But the look on her sister's face this morning had made her realize that this wasn't like all the other men the two sisters had competed for over the years. This was the real thing for Dana. And for Fox. And now she had messed that up. She had to do something. She owed her sister that much. "I'm so sorry. I should never have called. I hope I didn't ruin everything for you two." "You didn't," he said bitterly. "There is nothing between Scully and I. She was right. We *are* just friends." "You don't have to lie to me, Fox. I know." "Nothing's ever happened. Our relationship has always remained professional," he said, emphasizing the last word. "That doesn't mean you don't love her." Mulder looked at her in misery. She was right, of course. He had known he was in love with his partner for quite a while now. He had tried to deny his feelings for her, but when she had gone missing, it had hit him. Hard. The thought of never seeing her again had terrified him. Without her, he'd had no purpose. Even his lifelong search for his sister had seemed insignificant. And so he had thrown himself into his work, trying to keep away the fear. Trying to forget how much he needed her. How much he loved her... He should have told her when she was found. But he had been afraid. Afraid that she didn't feel the same. Afraid it would jeopardize what they already had. And so he had kept quiet. Looking at Melissa Scully, Mulder marvelled at the sick twist of fate that had made him fall in love with the one person he couldn't have. Falling for Melissa should have been easy. She was nice and funny. She believed in the same things he did. Had he met her just a few months ago, he would have probably gotten involved with her. She would have been a pleasant distraction, a way to keep away the demons for a while. But it was different now. *She* had changed everything. He wasn't interested in flings anymore. He wanted the real thing. He wanted it with Dana. But none of that could justify the way he had used Melissa. It wasn't fair to her. She deserved so much better. It's just that he had looked at her, had seen the red hair, the blue eyes. It had been so easy to just close his eyes and pretend. He had given in to the fantasy. "I remind you of her, don't I?" Mulder looked at her in shock. God, was the woman psychic!? "You look at me and you see her. That's what last night was all about." Mulder knew there was no point in denying it. All he could do now was try and make amends. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I couldn't... I'm sorry." So much for that. "I understand, Fox. But I'm not the one you have to convince. You have to tell *her*." "I can't. She wouldn't... I just can't." "You don't really have a choice." "It's not what she wants. She's made that very clear." "And so you're going to love her in secret, for the rest of your life? It's not healthy, Mulder. It won't work. You have to tell her." Mulder shook his head. "I can't." Melissa could see she was getting nowhere. Mulder's mind was made up. He wouldn't tell her. Looking at him, seeing how miserable he looked, she hoped that, for both their sakes, her sister would be more reasonable. "Thank you." She looked at him questionningly. "For understanding," he added. "You're welcome." She hugged him tightly. "Take care of yourself. And talk to her. She may surprise you." Standing on tiptoe, she kissed him lightly. "Goodbye, Fox." Mulder didn't answer. He was staring at a point behind her, a look of panic on his face. She turned around, wondering what had caught his attention. In the doorway was her sister, a devastated look on her face... =========================================================================== From: aduclos@aol.com (ADuclos) Subject: NEW: The Next Best Thing (4/5) Date: 26 Aug 1995 15:31:16 -0400 The characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. This story, however, is the product of my own demented, twisted and mushy imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) ________________________________________ << The Next Best Thing / Part 4 >> - by Anik Duclos Scully had everything worked out. She knew what she had to do. She would march into the office and tell Mulder that they couldn't do this. They had to keep the relationship the way it was. They were friends. That's just how it had to be. She rounded the corner, opened the office door, and... Saw her sister and her partner locked in an embrace. Scully's carefully planned speech flew right out of her head. Her heart gave a painful squeeze. Melissa then stood on tiptoe to kiss Mulder. The pain welled up inside her. Who was she kidding? She looked at Mulder, and their eyes locked. She couldn't do this. She wanted to bolt, to run as far away as possible. But she couldn't move. Mulder's gaze held her frozen to the spot. She saw her sister slowly turn around. Scully felt the crack in her heart widen just a little bit more. Why couldn't Mulder have gotten involved with a stranger? She could have handled that. At the very least, she could have told herself that the woman wasn't right for him, that it wouldn't last. But she knew that wasn't true this time. Melissa probably had more in common with Mulder than Scully herself did. They were perfect for one another. Her sister took one step towards her. "Dana..." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," she replied, awkwardly. "You didn't. Actually, I was looking for you." "Oh. Well, I really have to get some work done, and..." "Come on, Dana. I won't keep you long. Besides, I'm sure Fox can cover for you." Scully cringed at her sister's use of Mulder's first name. Fox sounded so... intimate. Scully felt trapped. The last thing she wanted right now was to have a heart to heart with her sister. She really didn't think she could handle hearing how wonderful it felt to be with Mulder. However, Scully knew her sister. She would corner her sooner or later. She might as well get it over with now. "All right. What did you want to see me about?" "Let's go for coffee. We can talk there." Scully glanced over to Mulder, who was carefully avoiding her gaze. She just wanted to go home, curl up on the couch and have a good cry. But all she did was nod to Melissa, and follow her out the door. _____________________________________________ The little coffee house was fairly deserted, affording them a reasonable amount of privacy. "Dana, I'm sorry about all this." "There's nothing for you to be sorry about, Melissa. Mulder is free to get involved with whomever he pleases. I'm happy he's found someone like you. I really am." Melissa looked at her baby sister. She could see she was hurting, and she hated that she was partly responsible for that pain. She wanted to tell her it would be all right, wanted to tell her how Mulder felt. But she couldn't. This was something they had to work out themselves. "It's just that I've come to feel... protective of Mulder," Scully continued. "I don't want him to get hurt..." She stopped, unable to go on. She felt as though her heart were breaking into a million pieces. She looked at her sister, tears brimming in her eyes. "It's just that.. I... I love him," she said in a whisper, looking miserable. "But I won't stand in your way. He deserves to be happy. He deserves to be with you." "Dana, he doesn't want to be with me. Last night was a mistake. For both of us." "He chose you." "No. He didn't choose me. I was just a diversion." Oh what the hell! They'd never get anywhere if she didn't help them along a little. "Dana, he wants to be with you." "No. Besides, we can't..." "Why not?" "We work together. It's wrong." "Dana, all your life, you've done the right thing. Has that made you happy? Let him know how you feel." "I can't." Arg! These two had to be the most stubborn people on the face of the planet. Why couldn't they just say *talk*. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd only been honest about how they felt about each other. "You'll have to talk to him, sooner or later, you know. Do you really think you can work side by side with him, feeling the way you do?" Scully said nothing. She knew her sister was right. But she couldn't tell him. She just couldn't. "Listen, Dana, I... I have to go," she said, getting up. "We'll talk later, ok?" "All right." Scully remained at the table, lost in thought. She couldn't go back to the office. She couldn't stay in here all day either. Damnit! Why was she acting like such a coward? She had faced far scarier things in her life. She had battled a liver-eating mutant. Had survived an encounter with prehistoric bugs. Had been kidnapped, beaten, and held at gun point. Yet she was reduced to a quivering mass at the thought of having to tell Mulder, the one person in the world she was closest to, how she felt. For god's sake, all she had to do was go up to him, and say: "Mulder..." "Scully?" She froze in her seat. =========================================================================== From: "Anik Duclos" Date: Tue, 12 Sep 1995 15:05:59 +0000 Subject: Re: Next Best Thing *************************************************************************** The characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are the property of Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. This story, however, is the product of my own demented, twisted and mushy imagination. (Copyright 1995 Anik Duclos) ________________________________________ << The Next Best Thing / Part 5 >> - by Anik Duclos She turned around slowly. This was definitely *not* a figment of her imagination. Her partner, looking utterly miserable, stood just a few feet away. "We need to talk, Scully. Please?" She fought the urge to run. She had to deal with this. She refused to let it take control of her life. She would talk to him. Clear the air. Make him understand that it couldn't be. "All right, Mulder. But not here. Let's take a walk." _____________________________________________ They walked in silence. Mulder wanted to apologize, but he didn't dare be the one to break the silence. And so he waited. Scully stopped walking, and turned to look at him. "Look Mulder, this won't work." "I love you, Scully," he blurted out before he had a chance to stop himself. She felt her heart skip a beat. Hearing him say it didn't help. It didn't make any difference. It wouldn't work. "Please, let me finish." She paused for a minute, unsure of how to proceed. "I'm sorry, Mulder, but I can't do this." "Why not?" Why not indeed. Even to herself, all her arguments seemed a little thin. "We just can't." "Just give me one good reason." One reason. Just one. She had to tell him something. Anything. "I know I made a mistake, Scully. But it won't happen again. Ever." Her mind was racing. Just one reason... Trust! That was it! "How can I trust you after this?" she asked, hating herself for lying to him. Mulder winced. Scully's trust was one of the things he valued most in the world. Never before in his life had he trusted anyone, nor had he had anybody's unwavering trust. And now he had lost that. "You say you love me, but how can I be sure?" She could see the effect her words were having on him, but she couldn't stop. "How do I know I'm not just the next challenge on your list? How do I know you're not just interested in getting me into bed?" So much pain in his eyes. All because of her... "You know me better than that, Scully." "Do I? I know your track record. You jump from one meaningless relationship to another. Now you say you slept with my sister because you couldn't have me. What are you going to do when we have a fight? Sleep with the first woman that comes along?" "Besides, why should I believe you? Why should I put myself, my feelings, on the line? Why?" Her feelings? Mulder felt a flicker of hope. Maybe... Cupping her chin, he forced her to look him in the eye. "I just want to know one thing, Scully. Do you love me?" "Mulder, I told you, I can't..." "No rationalizations, no logical arguments. I want to know how you *feel*. Do you love me?" "Yes," she said in a small voice. "That's all I need to know. I'll wait until you're ready. Until I've earned your trust again." "That may never happen, Mulder." But, looking into her eyes, Mulder knew that it would. One day, the hurt would fade way. One day, she would forgive him. For now, however, it was enough to know that she loved him. That was all that mattered. << The End. >>