From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 19 Dec 2001 04:13:20 -0000 Subject: Night Falls by Becka F. Source: direct Reply To: xfgurl@hotmail.com Title: Night Falls Author: Becka F. Classification: V Rating: G Spoilers: Nothing Important Happened Today Keywords: Summary: Oh, the night is long. Disclaimer: I wish they belonged to me. Author's notes: This is a sequel to Morning Breaks. Gotta love sequels...eh, Chris Carter? *subtle hint to get CC going with next XF movie* ~*~*~*~*~*~ Night Falls ~*~*~*~*~*~ Sleep is almost unnatural for him now. It feels wrong to close his eyes at night, and every night he tries to force himself to stay alert. To listen. To see. To feel. But sleep eventually conquers him, and he falls victim yet again to another vengeful night. By the time the sun dips below the horizon, he is in a new place. Where, he doesn't really know. How, he'd rather not think about. Why? Why does he do anything anymore? That answer is easy. For them. It's all for them. He tries to envision them going about their nightly routine. Routine. He scoffs bitterly at the word. Nothing is routine anymore. Not even for them. He kicks off his shoes and hurls his jacket onto the chair. He collapses onto the big, hard hotel bed and throws down the covers. He sighs dramatically, remembering how good it felt to feel her beside him. How good it felt to watch his son doze on his chest. Rising and falling. Rising and falling. How good it felt. Damn, it felt good. He sleeps in the middle now. Neither side is comfortable. It just isn't balanced anymore. Life just isn't balanced anymore. Hell, when was it ever? he orders himself firmly, knowing that before sunrise he'll be out of there. Gone. On his way to another place. Bag in hand. Heart left bleeding on the hotel room floor. ~*~*~ Sometimes the day goes by too slowly. And sometimes she blinks and it's over. Today was one of those days. Typically, she goes through the motions at work. Advises here. Puts out theories there. Consoles and insists she understands. But her mind is always elsewhere. The minute she steps through her threshold and sees her son, her day begins. It's a very short day to say the least. But oh, it's a great day. And when it's over, when she sees that sun beginning its long, painful descent through the sky, she knows she now has to deal with what the night brings. Tears. Pain. Missing him. Missing him so much. Nights are long now. And if there is one thing that brings her comfort, it's the fact that the night signals the end of the day. A day that is behind her now, forever, bringing her one day closer to seeing him again. She holds her baby close at night, and rocks him until he falls asleep. She figures her heart must expand to a thousand times its normal size at these moments, and for a brief moment in time, she is euphoric. She holds him tightly. She studies every inch of his face. Every dimple. Every wisp of sleek, golden hair. God, he's perfect. And she knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she would do absolutely anything in the world for him. She makes this silent promise to her child every night, before she lays him down in his crib. She knows he can hear her. And he understands. He even responds. Whether it be a flicker of an eyelid, a tiny squeeze of her finger, or even a soft whimper. He knows. He knows she is there and is never, ever leaving. He still isn't sleeping through the night, and this worries her. Because she knows he dreams. Nightmares. He's already begun. She kisses his sweet smelling forehead softly, grazes his tiny cheek, falls back into her rocking chair, and waits for him to wake again. At around 2 a.m., when she is almost sure he is asleep again until morning, she climbs into bed. Alone. Exhausted. Yet strangely fulfilled. Sometimes she goes right to sleep and doesn't stir until morning. Sometimes she tosses and turns fitfully. Sometimes she just misses him so much she literally aches all over. Tonight is one of those nights. And not even the gentle lull of her son's soft breath can calm her. Oh, the night is long. ~*~*~ Grasping the concept of night and day is becoming easier. Much easier. Day is waking up to see her. Night is closing his eyes and seeing her. She is the last thing he sees before he falls asleep, and he sleeps well, knowing he will wake with her beautiful face smiling down at him. She's gone more and more now, and he treasures the moments they are together. When she leaves, he isn't scared. He knows she'll be back. Somehow he just knows she'll be back for him. And she is. Always. Sometimes he is scared when he is awake. He hears a lot of strange sounds, kind of like the sound the radio would make if all of the stations were playing at once. He doesn't understand it, and it upsets him. He is usually jolted by these frightening sounds and she is there beside him in a heartbeat. He knows little of the horrors night can bring. In fact, he knows nothing. All he knows is she is here, protecting him. Loving him. Holding him. He is happy. And he sleeps. ~*~*~ Night falls in three different worlds. A father tosses and turns. A mother dozes. A baby sleeps. And although miles apart, two things remain certain in these three worlds. That damn sun that continues to fall each day. And the hope that one day, these three worlds will collide once again. And then night falls. And it begins all over again. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Feedback? It's a big secret, but I'm addicted:) Drop me a line at ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~