From: M731S@aol.com Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 05:00:27 EDT Subject: Story: Night Swimmimg by Fiona Source: direct Night Swimming (1/1) by Fiona Category: VA Rating: G Spoilers: One Breath Keywords: Mulder / Scully Feedback: Yes please - to m731s@aol.com Disclaimer: Mulder & Scully belong to David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson and all X-Philes. However, proprietary rights belong to Chris Carter, 1013 & Fox. Don't sue. Archive: Gossamer. Anywhere else, please ask first. Summary: A long night's journey into day. Slowly, Dana Scully became aware of her surroundings. Her senses couldn't register everything at once, but she knew she was being gently rocked. As the mist lifted from in front of her eyes, she could just about make out three figures standing in the distance looking towards her, though she had the distinct feeling that they couldn't see her at all. Gradually her fogged mind began to clear. She was sitting in a small boat on a glassy lake, looking towards a shore fringed with coniferous forest. She had no idea how she had got to this point. The figures on the shore began to speak and, though she knew she was too far from them to hear, still their words were audible to her. "She's not here." Fox Mulder. Standing with his arms folded, gazing straight at her but seeing nothing. She tried to attract his attention, but her body was frozen, her face a mask across which no emotion flickered. Next to him stood Melissa, her posture more open and receptive. "No, your anger, your fear is blocking any positive emotions she needs to feel," she explained gently to him. Mulder turned and walked away. Melissa sighed and followed him. They passed the third figure on the shore without acknowledgement. A short brown-haired woman with a peaceful, welcoming smile. Gazing at her face, Dana felt the mist creep over her mind once more as everything faded to black. * * * * * * The woman stood on the jetty where Mulder and Melissa had been....how long ago? It was still daylight, but was it even still the same day? A soothing voice interrupted her thoughts. "Dana? Dana, honey. I know you can hear me. This is Nurse Owens. I'm here to take care of you sweetheart, watch over you, help you find the way home. I know you're far from home tonight and that where you are is peaceful, it would be nice to stay. But Dana, you must leave here only when it's time. I'll be here when you need me dear." Though she didn't move from the shore, Dana felt Nurse Owens plant a gentle kiss on her forehead. As she walked away, so Mulder appeared in the distance and walked forward to take his place on the jetty. His eyes were wide with sorrow as he seemed to reach toward her. She felt a gentle touch on her hand and tried to squeeze her fingers round his. But he too turned away, and she resigned herself to drifting into darkness once more. * * * * * * A cold breeze swept a lock of Dana's hair across her forehead, awakening her again to her surroundings. Now they no longer seemed so peaceful. The little boat was being rocked from side to side as waves of choppy water rippled across the dark surface of the lake. The light of day was fast fading to a murky grey. On the receding shore Dana could see her mother and sister united in a tearful embrace. A veil of sorrow fell across her face as she heard them sob their goodbyes to her. When she looked to the shore again they were gone. Only Nurse Owens remained, watching impassively as the motion of the water carried the boat further and further away from the jetty. The mooring rope grew taut and finally frayed apart, sending her back into the empty darkness. She thought she could glimpse Fox Mulder's anguished face in the distance, but the blackness enveloped her and her eyelids finally dropped. * * * * * * She looked down. She felt as if she were halfway between waking and a deep dreamless sleep. Below her she could see her own body, lying on a wooden table, peaceful and still. Gathering all her strength she forced herself down next to the inert form. Footsteps in the distance echoed towards her. Her father, in his full navy finery. Her hero. He stopped short of the table and gazed at her tenderly. "Hello Starbuck. It's Ahab." He paused and his voice continued almost as if his thoughts were spoken in her mind: "People would say to me life is short - kids they grow up fast. Before you know it, it's over. I never listened. To me life went at a proper pace. There were many rewards.....until the moment that I knew.....I understood that I would never see you again. My little girl. Then my life felt as if it had been the length of one breath, one heartbeat. I never knew how much I loved my daughter until I could never tell her. That moment, I would have traded every medal, every commendation, every promotion for one more second with you. We'll be together again Starbuck. Not now. Soon." Smiling sadly, he turned and walked back along the dim and distant path which had brought him to her side. Desperately she tried to follow him, tried to call after him: "Daddy! Please don't leave. Daddy!" No movement. No sound. No hope. "Dana?" A woman's voice. Calming, concerned. Nurse Owens was with her once more, drawing her back to the lake, where she still kept watch from the shore. She spoke again, her voice a whisper that sounded in Dana's ear: "I know death is at arm's reach tonight. But Dana - your time is not over." But Dana could feel only the dark despair of being parted from her father once more. The boat drifted onwards, taking her further from the shore, until Nurse Owens was only a distant point on the far horizon. Coldness closed in as she surrendered to the endless empty solitude of her surroundings. * * * * * * Night-time. No light. No moon. No stars. Dana could feel the chill seeping into her body, trickling through her veins, laying siege to her heart. Her body urged her to concede, but her mind forced her to strain for sight of the shore. Nurse Owens still stood, but her voice was no longer audible. Cold fear crept into Dana's thoughts. Icy water began to lap at her feet as the wood of the boat began to warp and split. A slow descent. Dimly she became aware of a noise from the shore, a disturbance causing small rolling waves to ripple towards her. The water became choppier and the sound louder. In the distance she thought she could make out the motion of a swimmer cutting strongly through the cold pull of the current, could hear his gasps of breath as he neared her. Mulder. As the water began to rise round her shoulders, he reached her. Strong arms encircled her, tugging her clear of the boat, as it sank into the icy depths. Supporting her head, he began the long haul back to shore. He swam for both of them; despite all her efforts, she could give him no aid. Her body remained frozen, disobedient to her will. Twice he was forced to stop to gulp in more breath, treading water. Each time, his face desperately searched hers for a flicker of hope, a sign which, though she tried, she found herself unable to give. Finally the water became shallow and he was able to struggle to his feet. He scooped her up in his arms and headed into the forest. Despite his journey through the cold and dark to reach her, she could feel warmth flowing from him - belief firing up inside him. It curled into her heart and began to thaw the ice that had settled in her veins. He carried her through the dense wood until the undergrowth began to thin and the lightening sky became more visible. Placing her gently on the ground, he sank to his knees beside her. Nurse Owens walked towards them from the direction of the lake and stopped in the near distance to watch them. But Fox Mulder saw only Dana's motionless body, his eyes focused only on her emotionless face. His hand covered hers, conveying the conflicting feelings of hope and despair battling for supremacy in his mind. His sorrowful eyes fixed on her wintry complexion and he spoke to her peaceful form - pleading, reasoning, his voice suffused with raw, barely repressed emotion: "I feel, Scully, that you believe you're not ready to go. And you've always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my being here will help bring you back." His grip on her fingers tightened. "But I'm here." She could feel the intensity of his gaze upon her, but was powerless to turn her face to his. She sensed despair well up inside him again as his head dropped. She wanted to dispel the dark cloud that hung over him, to tell him what he had done and what it meant to her. But the strength to reach out to him still eluded her. He remained by her side, his touch providing a constant infusion of warmth. She lay still and quiet and accepted his sustenance. * * * * * * Early morning in a beautiful woodland clearing. Nurse Owens knelt at her side, stroking the hair out of her eyes. "Dana, honey. It's nearly time for you to leave here. Your partner had to go, and so will I soon dear. But your mother and sister will be waiting to see you. And your partner will be back. You will see him again soon, Dana, I promise. You just need to rest for a little while longer so that you're strong enough to return. Then he will take care of you. You won't remember how he rescued you last night, but I know that he will always watch over you when I can't be there." Dana felt a gentle kiss on her forehead, thawing her frozen features. Her face finally melted into a soft smile as she allowed herself to be soothed into a peaceful sleep, cocooned in warmth, in comfort and in love. END Author's Notes: The title of this piece is in homage to REM whose music has provided the soundtrack to the best and worst times of my life. This story was written in the season that One Breath first aired. It is my only attempt at capturing the profound humanity which has drawn me to the series this past eight years. I would like to dedicate this piece to my beautiful sister, Sue, who undertook Scully's journey two summer's ago but never made it back to shore. My heart is full of you. Until you come for me. Love remains.