From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:47 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 4a


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Four (1/2)

*  *  *  *  *

At six thirty a.m., Mulder rose from where he lay on the bed 
staring at the ceiling.  His mind felt heavy, drugged, as though he
had just awakened, even though he knew he had not closed his eyes.  An
aching emptiness filled his chest where his heart should have been,
and his stomach was wound into a tight knot, like a rock in his gut.

Scully...his mind whispered, and he groaned wretchedly.

Moving stiffly, he left the bed and went out into the living 
room.  Clyde was waiting by the door to be taken outside, 
which Mulder did dutifully.  Then he changed out of his 
wrinkled clothes and showered.

Come on, Mulder--snap out of it, his mind prodded him.  
You're not going to do her a bit of good this way.

Under the force of the steaming shower, he began to emerge 
from his stupor.

The vital thing here, Mulder, is to disconnect.  You're not 
allowed to be on the investigation because the emotional 
attachment may impair your judgment.  So let it go.  She's not 
Dana, she's not your wife.  She's any of the hundreds of victims
you've tried to help over the years, and you're investigating her
disappearance, that's all.  You let your feelings get in the way and
you're dead in the water, man...

...And so is she.

The thought sent a surge of panic through him, which he 
resolutely put down.  Showered and shaved, he felt more alert.  
He began to straighten the apartment, knowing Scully would 
be mortified, no matter what the circumstances, for his mother 
and sister to see it looking sloppy.  While he cleaned, his mind
processed the venues of investigation he would take.  He thought of
which of the MUFON members he would like to interview, deciding to
start with those that were most familiar with Scully.  His eidetic
memory produced the names and faces of the women he wanted to speak
with, and he looked up on his computer those phone numbers that he did
not know.  He picked up his phone and started dialing.

He was in luck.  The first two on the list he wanted to reach 
were roommates.  They, to some extent, organized the 
Allentown, Pennsylvania chapter of MUFON, and had both 
been present at Betsy Hagopian's house on the day that Scully 
had shown up.  Penny Northern was the first person to have 
recognized Scully from one of her own abduction experiences.  
It was there that Scully had learned about the existence of all 
the other abductees.

"Hello, may I please speak with Ms. Northern?  Oh.  Hello, 
Ms. Northern.  I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder of the FBI.  
You may remember me from the time I came with Agent Dana 
Scully to interview you for our files...Yes.  I'm investigating the
murders of several MUFON members recently, Ms. Northern, and I was
wondering if I might be able to speak with you and Ms. Holloway for a
while this afternoon...No, I just need some information...I will drive
up to Allentown...Rose's Cafe?  All right, Ms. Northern.  At
two...Thank you for your time...Good-bye."

Mulder hung up the phone and sighed.  That was two down.  
He knew without a doubt that it was Scully's name that had 
gotten him in the door.  She was one of their own.  They 
trusted her.  He was about to pick up the phone and call a third woman
whom had been present that day when the phone rang.

In an instant, all his self-lectures on detachment flew out the 
window as his panicked mind brought forth a million 
nightmarish possibilities as to who might be on the other end 
and what news they might bear.

God, Mulder, no!  Don't even think it!

He punched the "talk" button viciously.  "Mulder."

"Fox, it's Maggie.  I'm at the airport and Caroline and 
Samantha's plane is about to land.  We can be at your place in 
less than an hour."

Mulder was about to agree when he realized that right now, his 
mother and sister's tender concern and sympathy, though 
appreciated, would be counter-productive to his cause.  He 
loved them both dearly, but it would be far too easy for him to 
become bogged down in hopelessness with them offering 
comforting shoulders to lean upon.  He needed to be strong 
right now.

"Mrs. Scully, I have to drive into Allentown, Pennsylvania this 
morning to follow up on a couple of leads and I won't be able 
to meet you right now.  It's a long drive, and I have to leave 
right away.  Would it be all right if you took them back to your place
and I'll meet you all there tonight?"

As always, if Maggie Scully objected, she gave no sign of it.  
Understanding filled her voice.  "Of course, Fox.  But do 
please call us if you find anything."

"I will," he reassured her, thinking not for the first time what a
classy lady Margaret Scully was.  "Could I ask one more favor of you?"

"Yes, Fox?"

"Would you mind coming by the apartment to pick up Clyde 
and keeping him with you for a while?  I'm not going to have 
the time to take care of him, and Scully will kill me if I let him go
neglected."

There was a hopeful tremor in Maggie Scully's voice as she 
agreed, and Mulder realized that his ploy had worked.  
Speaking of Scully as though her safe return was assured had 
given her terrified mother some comfort.  He said good-bye 
and disconnected.

He refused to let himself ponder the idea that some of that 
same comfort might appeal to him as well.  If he were truly 
detached, he would require no comfort.  God knows, Scully 
would do the same if our places were reversed, Mulder 
thought.  She would analyze and rationalize everything 
indifferently and be that much more productive for her efforts. 
If--WHEN--he got Scully home, then he could fall apart and admit how
afraid he was.  But only then.  And she would take him into her arms,
and comfort him, and he would comfort her, and they would once again
be awed by their desperate need for one another.

*  *  *  *  *


===========================================================================

From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:43 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 4b


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Four (2/2)

*  *  *  *  *

The drive to Allentown was every bit as long as he had 
predicted, and fraught with hours of frustrating traffic.  Mulder gave
silent thanks once again for air conditioners as the July heat
threatened to reach record breaking temperatures.  He turned off the
radio and considered what he might do with the information that Penny
Northern and Lottie Holloway might be able to give him.  He had to
assume that Scully, if she was at all able, would be working on her
end trying to get out.  She wasn't helpless as the other victims had
been.  In fact, there were times when she could be diabolically
crafty.  Providing that the person or persons holding her didn't have
her drugged or in some other way incapacitated, she was already
formulating various avenues of escape.  But he couldn't count on that.
 Even if she were conscious, she might be held somewhere that even her
clever mind couldn't imagine a way out of.

Where, Mulder, where?

What was he going to do, walk into the diner and ask these 
women for the names and addresses of all male MUFON 
members who may or may not be spies?

Yeah, Mulder, real smooth.

But then, they knew that Scully was definitely one of their 
own, had known that even before Scully herself had, and that 
might earn him more cooperation from them.  These people 
stood up for each other, believing in each other even when the 
rest of the world didn't.  They had a bond, and hopefully, 
Mulder could count on that.

The diner that they met in was a suitable shabby, nondescript 
greasy spoon and the two women were waiting for him in a 
back booth where it was likely that they would not be 
disturbed.  He gave the waitress his order for coffee, knowing 
he would never be able to force food into his tense stomach.  
The women waited for him to begin.

"Are you aware," he asked, "of the series of kidnappings and 
murders that have been taking place involving MUFON 
members with abduction experiences similar to your own?"

The women looked at each other, their posture tense.  "Yes," 
replied Penny Northern.  "The most recent one belonged to 
our chapter here."

Scully hadn't told him that.  Has she recognized Tina Mueller 
from her meeting with these people?

"Agent Scully has been kidnapped, as of last night," he told 
them, his tone lacking any inflection whatsoever.  He watched 
them turn pale, and he knew what they must be thinking.  It 
wasn't surprising that one of themselves could be taken, but 
Agent Scully was a different matter--as though her being an 
FBI agent should make some sort of a difference, should make 
her safer, inviolable.  If whoever was doing this could get to 
Scully, they could get to any one of them.

"We don't have many leads," Mulder continued, "but we have a 
working theory that the perpetrator is getting his current 
information on the abductees of MUFON by possibly posing as 
a member himself."

"So what do you need from us?" the other woman, Lottie 
Holloway, asked.

"I need information on the male contingent of MUFON," he 
said.  "We think that the suspect is male, and probably quite 
large.  He overpowered Agent Scully and she had mace, a gun, 
and knowledge of unarmed combat.  Anything would help--
names, and hopefully addresses if you have them."

The women darted quick glances at each other.  "What you're 
asking for is confidential information," Penny Northern 
replied.  "We don't sell each other out.

"With all due respect, Ms. Northern, I really don't think you 
owe this man any loyalty.  He may have infiltrated MUFON 
with a phony story of abduction to garner sympathy and to get 
at your members.  To not give me the information I am 
requesting could very well condemn Agent Scully, not to 
mention countless others, to death."

The women looked at each other again.  Their deliberations 
didn't take long.  These women were survivors.  That's why 
they had made it long enough to share their stories and get 
their lives back after their abduction experiences.  There were 
countless others whom had cracked and had been 
institutionalized, or had taken their own lives after the first 
sketchy memories of their experiences started.  These women 
were a breed apart, and they hadn't survived this long to find 
themselves at the mercy of a madman.

They took Mulder back to their house and turned on a 
computer.

"We keep a database of everyone who comes to us with their 
stories, so that we can keep track of them, and possibly their 
disappearances.  We actually haven't used it for a while, since 
there have been so few disappearances over the last several 
years, but we opened it up again when these abductions 
started.  In here, you will find the names and all the information we
have on the members.  Go ahead and print out what you think will help
your investigation.  But please, this information is confidential, so
we would appreciate it if no one besides yourself were to see it."

Mulder frowned.  "That might not be possible," he said.  "You 
see, Agent Scully is my wife, and what I'm doing here is not 
part of the official investigation.  I'm not allowed to work on 
that.  I need to ask your permission to turn these files over to the
actual investigating team for them to follow up on.  I can assure you
that they will be treated with the utmost discretion.  Please, we need
these files to save my wife."

His admission won him their sympathy and respect.  Looking 
at them, Mulder saw that they also felt slightly envious of Dana
Scully for having someone who cared when she disappeared.  They agreed
and left the room, allowing Mulder to work.

What he found wasn't encouraging.  Though the MUFON male
membership wasn't large compared to the female membership, 
which was over two thousand, there were over a hundred and 
fifty men who fell within the geographical boundaries of the 
investigation, varying in size and physical description.  Of 
these, Mulder was able to eliminate nearly a third on the idea 
that there was simply no way, by the profile given, that the men could
have physically overpowered Scully.  The rest he printed out and took
back with him to D.C., thanking Penny Northern and Lottie Holloway for
their time.

Another long drive back to D.C. left Mulder with time to 
consider what he had found.

They had to have a more narrow field of suspects than this list 
of over a hundred men.  Intentionally forgetting for the 
moment that the kidnapper might not even be on the list, he 
considered what he had to go on.  What was in these files that 
would either qualify or eliminate another suspect?

Area had already been decided.  All of them lived east of the 
Mississippi River, and Mulder imagined he could probably, if 
he wanted to, narrow it down even further to the coastal states.  He
had severe doubts that the perpetrator would drive all the way in from
the west to grab a victim, murder her, dump her, and leave.  No,
serial killers stuck somewhat remotely close to home, spreading out
only enough to make the killings appear random.  If they were going to
try to cover their tracks at all, that was.  Many never searched
farther than their own home town for their victims.

Opportunity was next.  He would have to find some way of 
ascertaining alibis from all the men on this list when he--
Mulder stopped himself--when the investigating team 
questioned them.  It was a daunting task, and extremely time 
consuming.  There would be those whom they couldn't get in 
touch with, and those who would not cooperate with them.  
Scully didn't have that sort of time.

What was unusual about any men on the list that he had just 
read about?  There were several that were quite large, which 
would automatically make them a questioning priority, as they 
would have the physical power to overcome Scully even at her 
best.  But then again, massive strength wouldn't have been 
needed if he had the right fighting know-how.  A martial arts 
student?  Yes, there were a few of those.  They would also 
become a questioning priority.

Five p.m. rolled around and he became caught in rush hour 
traffic.  It would be another two hours, at least, until he got 
back to D.C., and by then, he would have to wait until 
tomorrow to get the ball rolling on this list of possible 
suspects.  He dialed Skinner.

"It's Mulder," he said.  "I spoke with Penny Northern and 
Lottie Holloway of the Allentown MUFON chapter, and I have 
a list of profiles of the MUFON male members who might 
qualify."

Skinner replied, "What have you got?"

"Well, if we were to prioritize by those that are capable of 
overpowering Scully when she's fighting back, we have a list of 
ten who should be the first for questioning, all of them either 
large of stature or skilled in fighting, martial arts and the like."
He read off the names and addresses and points of interest in the
profiles.  "If you don't mind, I would like for it to be Bartel who
questions them.  I figure that list there will give us a good start,
and the rest we can analyze tonight.  I assume you will be at Mrs.
Scully's tonight?"

Skinner confirmed.

"Did forensics turn up anything from the sight?"

"They found saliva at the site which showed traces of digestive 
fluids.  Someone had been gagging in that spot not long before 
or after Dana was taken.  It has already been determined that it is
not Dana's."

"If she got in a good hit or two in the right places, it could be the
perpetrator's," Mulder said.

"That's what we believe also," Skinner replied.  "We will use it for
DNA evidence if we need to link a suspect to being at the scene.  It's
circumstantial for now, but let's hope we get something to back it up
with.  If we find the suspect, we may be able also to detect pepper
gas traces on his clothing and possessions."

They spoke for several moments on where they were going to 
go with the investigation, and then hung up.  The lack of 
answers contained in the conversation left Mulder depressed.  
He groaned and looked out over the crowded highway.  

C'mon, Scully, speak to me...Where are you?

Scully's voice teased him back.  Even if I did believe in 
telepathy, Mulder, what are the odds that I'm just going to be 
able to transmit my coordinates to you?

He sighed.  No such easy solution for him.  No, the answers 
wouldn't just appear to him in a miracle like that.  He was 
going to have to go digging.

He was still scanning his brain for other possibilities to 
investigate when he arrived at Mrs. Scully's house two hours 
later.  His mother and sister emerged from the front door to 
greet him.  Samantha wrapped her arms around him in a 
comforting hug and whispered, "Oh, Fox, I'm so sorry."

"What news do you have?"  Mrs. Scully asked, ushering them 
all inside.

Mulder allowed them to drag him by the arms to the sofa and 
sat down.  "I was able to provide Skinner with a couple of 
possible leads for the investigation, but we have nothing 
concrete right now.  Even with these we may be barking up the 
wrong tree, but it is the best we have for now."

"Fox, isn't there anything more that can be done?" Caroline 
Mulder asked.

He shook his head.  "There's nothing to go on, no beginning 
point from which to follow leads.  These appear to be random 
acts of violence with a single commonality connecting the 
victims--their abduction experiences, and that is so shaded in 
mystery that we have no place to begin to look.  So we grab 
the first hunch that comes our way and pray that it is the right one,
before time runs out."

Samantha Mulder Powell cringed at that.  "Fox--" she reached 
out to him.

He pulled back.  "Sam, look, I can't let you pity me right now.  I
need to have full control of my faculties, and I can't get bogged down
by hopelessness.  Don't try too sympathize with me, please."

He felt guilty when he saw a hurt expression cross Samantha's 
face, but it was soon replaced by a sad smile.  He was trying to tell
her how she could best help him.  Scully, more often than not, was the
first to give him a good swift kick in the ass when he needed it, as
opposed to a willing listener to a sob story.  He was asking Samantha
to do that for a while for him.

She nodded solemnly at him, accepting his charge, and he 
offered her the tiniest curve of his lips in lieu of a smile that
would have had no sincerity behind it.

Caroline disappeared into Maggie's kitchen and returned with a 
glass of iced tea in her hands and handed it to him.  Mulder 
looked at it and felt tears prick his eyes, but he drank it 
willingly enough.  It was Maggie who noticed that his hand 
trembled as he did so.

"Fox," she said, her tone stern and giving no hint of her own 
inner turmoil over her daughter, "how long has it been since 
you have eaten?"

"I'm not hungry, Mrs. Scully."

"I didn't ask that."

"Dinner last night," he muttered grudgingly.  He did not want 
these wonderful, concerned women hovering over him!

"You can't do this, Fox," she said firmly.  "I know you love 
Dana, and I know what's happening is tearing your gut out, but 
you can't possibly think that you'll be of any help to her if you wear
yourself out like this.  Did you sleep at all last night?"

He shook his head reluctantly.

"And you drove all the way to Pennsylvania and back like 
this?"  Her tone was sharp with maternal outrage.

"Please, Mrs. Scully, don't mother me right now.  I have to be 
strong for Scully."

Samantha grabbed his arm.  "That's right, you do.  And the first thing
you are going to do, Fox Mulder, is come with me into the kitchen and
eat a sandwich.  Maybe two."

"Sam, don't, please--" he pleaded.

"Fox Mulder, you are being a self-indulgent S.O.B.!  Do you 
really think that you can be strong for Dana if you starve 
yourself?  Now you come with me this instant or I'll know for a 
fact that all your fine words about standing on your own were 
just hot air."

Mulder heard his mother's horrified gasp.  Samantha's words 
were harsh, but he embraced them.  It was the same thing that 
Scully would have said to him.

Mulder yielded to Samantha pulling on his arm and the four 
went into the kitchen.  Samantha, not being one to stand on 
pretension, availed herself of Mrs. Scully's refrigerator.  She 
prepared two cold-cut sandwiches for him, and hauled out 
some potato salad and an apple.  While he worked on those, 
she made him a third sandwich, just in case.

He was morosely silent through the meal.  He told them what 
he could, but it wasn't much.  He forced the food down his 
throat, knowing he was hungry even though his stomach 
wanted to reject the offering.  He even ate the third sandwich, 
just to please Samantha.  When he was finished, she began to 
tug on his arm again.

"Now, you are going to bed for a while.  By the time you get 
up, Walter Skinner will be here and you two can do whatever it 
is you do to figure this out, but there is no way that I'm going to
allow you to drive home without a couple hours of sleep under your
belt."

She dragged him out of the kitchen once more, and this time, 
Caroline and Maggie did not follow.  Samantha led him down 
the hall to the bedroom that he and Scully used whenever 
visiting Scully's mother overnight, and at the sight of it, another
place where he had memories of Scully, he balked.

"Sam--I can't--" he looked at the bed, his eyes panicked.  
"Don't ask me to try to sleep."

She walked behind him and grabbed the shoulders of his blazer, 
pulling it off his arms.  "I am asking, Fox, and you will get 
some sleep, or at least try." She softened her tone a little.  
"Would Dana let you do this to yourself?  Just a little while, if you
can.  Take off your shoes and lay down.  I'll come back in an hour or
so to check on you."

She was right, Mulder realized.  Scully wouldn't let him do this to
himself.  She would force him into the bed at gun point, if need be,
or she would simply lay down beside him--

He closed his eyes tightly.  He didn't know which was worse, 
the wonderful memories he had of her which tormented him 
with the thought of all that bliss being lost, or the nightmares that
he knew awaited him if he closed his eyes.

"God, Sam," he whispered, sitting weakly on the edge of the 
bed.  "I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from.  I 
hoped, I PRAYED, that I would never feel this way again in 
my lifetime."

Samantha sat beside him, not speaking, waiting for him to 
continue.

"I keep trying to tell myself that it isn't like before.  We're not up
against an insurmountable force, just a single deranged human being. 
I've profiled those by the dozens.  I can get inside their heads so
easily, know what makes them tick, why they do what they do--but I
have no explanation for this.  How can I face Mrs. Scully and say that
I can't find her daughter and bring her home.  I can deal with extra
terrestrials and nefarious government conspiracies and diseases the
like of which could wipe out all of mankind... But I can't get inside
the head of this single, clumsy psychopath who has my wife, and know
why he has taken her, and where."

He shuddered.  "If I lose her, Sam," he said wretchedly, "I'll 
never be able to survive it.  She's the best part of me."

Two tears slipped down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms 
around him.  "You won't lose her, Fox.  You won't let her 
down.  Contrary to what you may believe, it's not Dana who 
gives you your strength.  You were strong long before she 
came to you, or you would not have survived as long as you 
did.  It's not she who gives you the ability to fight, all she did was
give you the desire to fight, to win.  And now, what you need to do is
draw upon that to fight FOR her."

He sighed and nodded.  "You're right."

"I know.  Now lay down and close your eyes.  Turn off your 
mind if you have to for a while, but if you're going to be strong for
her, you can't have your body sabotaging you.  I'll be in the other
room if you need me."

She pushed him down on the bed and spread the blanket over 
him.  Then she admonished him to close his eyes once more 
and left.

He stared at the ceiling in the half-light of the room for a while,
convinced that sleep would never come to him, but slowly, warm, numb
darkness beckoned to him and he succumbed.  And when the nightmare
demons came, he began to wish that he hadn't.

*  *  *  *  *

Samantha closed the door gently behind her and leaned against 
the wall, her eyes tightly closed against the image of her 
brother sitting hunched wretchedly on the bed, looking like a 
little boy lost.  It wasn't hard at all to imagine a twelve year old
Fox Mulder sitting in that same way, lost and alone in his suffering.

Despite the fact that Fox never spoke of it, Samantha had 
gleaned a pretty good idea of what her brother had gone 
through when she had been taken all those years ago.  She 
knew of the guilt he had suffered from himself, the resentment 
from their parents.  She knew what a haunted soul those years 
had wrought.  His life HAD been a nightmare from which he 
could not awaken.  Then Dana had come to him, and he had 
started to heal.  The healing had experienced a major back-
slide when Dana had been taken from him the first time.  
Samantha didn't want to know how Fox had made it through 
those times alone.

Sadly, Samantha realized that her brother wasn't the only one 
feeling pitifully inadequate in the face of these circumstances.  He
was not alone in his helplessness.  Dana had become one of Samantha's
closest friends, and Samantha was dealing with her own fear.  But
more, she was also frustrated by her inability to bring comfort to her
brother, whose fears she could not even begin to compare her own to.

"Samantha?" Caroline Mulder entered the hallway and saw her 
standing against the wall.  "Preston is on the phone for you."

Samantha opened her eyes to realize that she had not even 
been aware of the phone ringing.  She nodded and began to 
walk away when Caroline stopped her.

"How is he--really?"

She sighed.  "He's beating himself up over something he could 
not possibly hope to have any control over.  Total Fox Mulder 
pattern behavior."

Samantha turned and left, missing the way her mother flinched 
at her words.

Caroline stood alone in the hall, separated by only a door from 
her son.  If guilt was a pattern of behavior for Fox, than it was she
who had fashioned that pattern--she and her husband.

When Samantha had been taken from them all those years ago, 
Caroline had retreated, refusing to deal with it.  And now, she 
found herself totally unprepared to deal with this situation as 
well.  And God help her, she did not want Fox to suffer 
through this alone.  She wouldn't do that to him again.

She wanted to go to him, to open the door between them and 
comfort him, telling him all the things that she should have told him
twenty six years ago.  But Samantha was right.  The pattern of
behavior had been set a long time ago, sewn together with strong
stitches of painful experience.  She could not simply waltz into that
room and, deciding she didn't like the pattern, rend it apart.

In the end, she realized that the best thing that she could do for her
son was to be available should he require her.  This time, she would
not withdraw, leaving him to flounder alone.  She was simply allowing
him space to come to her, with every intention of being there when she
was needed.  That would make all the difference in the world between
what had happened when Samantha had been taken from them and now. 
Now, all she could do was hope that Fox could see that difference as
well.

*  *  *  *  *

End of Part Four


===========================================================================

From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:39 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 5a


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Five (1/2)

*  *  *  *  *

Darkness surrounded her.

Slowly, Scully began to regain consciousness and as she did so, 
the first thing she was aware of was the absolute stillness 
around her.  There was no light, no sound, no motion that she 
could detect.  The only sensation whatsoever was the 
throbbing inside her skull.  Each effort to move her head only 
brought more pain, and so eventually, she lay still.

Lay.  She felt beneath her.  She was on a cot of some kind, 
with a rough, lumpy mattress.  It creaked when she tried to 
move, and didn't feel the sturdiest.  She tucked that note in the back
of her head for future reference and proceeded to try to piece
together what had happened to bring her here.

Slowly, it all came back to her--the call in to work, the new 
series of murders, the drive home, the man behind her, the 
struggle--

She had been drugged, she realized, accounting for the 
headache, the weakness, and the odd taste in her painfully dry 
mouth.  Not the chloroform, something stronger.  A tensing of 
her arms proved this to be true, as she felt the slight pain in her
upper left arm.  She's been injected with something.  How long had she
been here?  The other victims had been heavily drugged prior to death,
and it appeared, unconscious at the time of death.  Well, here she
was, the drugs wearing off, and she was still alive.  Why?

Suddenly, she realized that she already knew something about 
her captor--he didn't want his victims to suffer.  She didn't have
Mulder's gift for understanding the psychosis at work behind crimes,
but it was very obvious that these murders were not, indeed, random
acts of violence.  The perpetrator was not angry, did not hate his
victims.  He just wanted them dead.  The ones that hadn't been drugged
had died instant, painless deaths.  One had been shot in the head. 
Another had been strangled outside her home, quickly and cleanly. 
There had been no bruises or contusions from a struggle on either of
them.  The others he had held for a while, but he had kept them
sedated, unconscious, and they had never known the moment when they
died.  The two that had been stabbed had their major surface arteries
sliced with a scalpel.  It was a bloody process, certainly, but not a
terribly painful one.  The other gunshot victim had been shot in the
upper spine and then in several major organs.  Paralyzation, if not
death, had occurred almost instantly, so that the subsequent gunshots
had not been felt.  There was a methodical precision to these killings
that did not speak of violence.

Then why kill?  She continued to ponder her captor.  What was 
his reason, if not a personal vendetta against abduction 
victims?

She had not been able to see his face, she remembered.  He had 
been very tall, so tall that her head had only come halfway up 
his chest.  If not, she could have broken his jaw with that head-
butt.  He was also quite strong.  Her left wrist was bruised from his
grip on it as he held it away from her body.  It was not the sort of
strength that was cultivated in a gymnasium, though.  No, this was the
strength of construction workers and others who did rigorous physical
activity day after day.  An image flashed into Scully's mind--the
brief glimpse of gray covering his body as he reeled back from her
blow to his Adam's apple.  Loose fitting gray short-sleeved shirt and
pants.  She's seen the costume a million times, had worn the costume
herself.

They were hospital scrubs.  He worked in a hospital 
somewhere, probably as an orderly, though that left some 
questions as to how he got access to prescription drugs or had 
learned how to inject them.  Your run of the mill orderly did 
not have that sort of access.

How had he known about her?  She wasn't a member of 
MUFON.  If he was getting his information from them, he 
wouldn't have known about her.  Was he working for 
someone?

Mulder's words came back to haunt her:  "Kill all the 
witnesses, Scully...Dead men tell no tales."

That didn't make any sense.  She had seen professional 
assassinations before, had even seen botched attempts at 
professional assassinations (a thought which sent an unpleasant 
pang through her.)  This was too clumsy to be a professional 
job.  He had barely managed to take her without her giving off 
some sort of alarm which would have alerted those in the 
building nearby, and the fact that she had not been able to get 
to her gun had merely been bad luck on her part.  No, if 
someone had REALLY wanted her dead, there were certainly 
more efficient ways of doing it.  A professional assassin could 
have shot her with a silenced weapon in the parking lot, and 
then simply disposed of her body along with her car so that no 
trace remained.  Or, if abduction had been their purpose, they 
could have sent more than one man after her, to make sure she 
was subdued quickly and quietly.

No, this was the work of an individual, an amateur.

But why?  What purpose would this one man have in killing off 
these women with only one thing in common?

There she ran out of answers, her moment of insight into the
psychopathic mind lost.  The throbbing in her head began to 
abate, and once again she tried to move.  The effort brought 
with it the realization that her hands were bound, not by rope 
or handcuffs, but by cloth.  The rest of her body was 
unfettered, though.  It was difficult sitting up without her 
hands to push off with, but she accomplished the task by 
tightening her abdominal muscles and raising her torso.  It hurt.

She nearly fell back over.  Her baby--

With dread, she recalled being slammed belly first against the 
trunk of her car, it's edge driving into her gut painfully with all
the man's weight pressing in on her from behind.

Good God, was her baby all right?

The drugs, she thought with horror, remembering the varieties 
that had been found in the other victims.  Any or all of them 
could affect a pregnancy.  She felt rage welling up within her.  That
her own life was at risk seemed almost inconsequential, but he had
endangered her baby--

I won't let anything happen to you, little one, she promised 
silently, touching her belly with her bound hands.  She had to 
form a plan, to buy herself time--time to find her way free, time for
Mulder to find her.

She groaned.  Mulder.  He must be worried frantic by now.

He'll find you, Scully, she told herself.  He'll come for you.

The baby.  She hadn't gotten to tell him about the baby.  Now, 
he might never know...

But she couldn't--WOULDN'T--think like that.  However 
much despair she might feel, she could not be fatalistic about 
this.  She couldn't give up.  Her baby needed her.

Mulder needed her.

If only it weren't so dark in here, she thought.  If only she 
could see where she was, what was surrounding her.  She 
began to reach around with her hands.  The walls were cold 
and rough.  Cinder block.  They were also slightly damp.  She 
realized that she was underground, accounting for the stale air 
and the lack of noise and light.

She stood and walked the walls, touching them with her hands 
and taking small, cautious steps around the perimeter of the 
room.  She stepped carefully, making sure nothing was in her 
path that might trip her, and testing the firmness of the surface
beneath her foot before placing any weight upon it.  Her hands brushed
cobwebs and other things that sent a shudder through her, and she
tried to complete the circle around the room as quickly as she could,
returning to the familiar cot with a sigh of relief.  There had been
nothing, no window or door through which she might effect an escape. 
But there had to be some way in or out.  She just had to wait for her
captor to show up before she discovered it.

What if he didn't show up?  She thought with a surge of panic.  
What if he had brought her down here only to abandon her to 
die of thirst and hunger?  What if she was never found?

Stop it, Dana Katherine Scully!  Just stop it right now!

She lay back down in the darkness, forcing her fears from her 
mind.  Surely leaving her here to die an agonizing death did not gel
with what she had already surmised about her captor.  He would come. 
And she would find her way out.

It was so utterly still that she could hear the minute ticking of her
tiny watch.  Her watch!  She twisted her bound hands around until her
wrists were before her face and one finger of her right hand could
touch the watch on her left wrist.  She touched the tiny button on the
side.  Eight p.m., she read, the glow of the light from the watch,
minuscule as it was, dispelling some of her fear of the utter
darkness.  She looked at the date on the watch.  It had been almost
twenty four hours since she had been taken.

*  *  *  *  *


===========================================================================

From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:34 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 5b


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Five (2/2)

*  *  *  *  *

A whole day, gone!  Then she made several swift, and 
unpleasant realizations.  She hadn't eaten anything in over a 
day.  Her stomach gnawed on itself painfully, and she was 
becoming aware of an urgent need to urinate.  She was also 
dreadfully thirsty...

She sat there staring at the watch for several moments, then 
she released the little button.  If the battery died, she would 
have nothing with which to combat the darkness.  She lay in 
the dark, extremely uncomfortable.  She had to get to a toilet, 
had to eat, had to feed her baby...

She didn't know how or when she fell back asleep, only that 
she was suddenly jerked to wakefulness by a sound in the utter 
stillness.  From overhead, there was a scratching sound.  A 
glance at her watch told her it was now three hours later than 
when she had last looked.  The scratching noises persisted, and 
then a blast of fresh, hot air, and sounds.

Moonlight streamed in through the opening, its dim glow 
blinding her momentarily.  The sounds that she heard were the 
sounds of the outdoors at night, insects and birds of all 
varieties.  She looked up at the opening to realize that she was only
eight feet from the freedom of the outdoors.

Another glow appeared in the rectangle, this one caused by a 
gas lantern.  She had to hide her eyes from its unaccustomed 
brightness.  A few feet away, she saw a ladder touch down 
upon the floor.  When she felt her eyes had adjusted enough, 
she looked up at the opening again.  A man's silhouette filled it.  He
began to descend the ladder, and Scully, hating herself for the
uncontrollable response, cringed.

"You're awake," he said dully.  "I was hoping you wouldn't be 
awake for this."

His face seemed an evil, leering demon in the dark glow of the
lamplight, but his voice was gentle.  Eerily gentle.  Wistful, 
almost.  She half expected to hear him croon, "Don't be 
afraid..."  but she stomped on the memory and the fear it 
evoked.  That had been another time, another place.

"Please," her voice came as a harsh croak from between her 
dried and cracked lips.  "Can I have some water?"

"I'm sorry," he said.  "You won't need any now.  I really had 
hoped to get this over last night, but I didn't have the 
time...Just sit still.  It will be over in a moment."  He set the
lantern down and pulled what Scully could see was a syringe from his
pocket.

"No!"  she gasped.  "Please, you can't!"

"I really am sorry," his voice, that soft, childlike voice, sounded
tormented.  "I didn't want you to be awake, to suffer or be
frightened.  But this has to be done..."

"Why?"  Stay calm, Scully.  Reason with him, some unnamed 
instinct urged.

"I have to undo the evil that was done," he said softly, his 
words stilted.  "I can't let it continue.  I know it's not your 
fault--but you did lose.  You let them take you and do what 
they did, and now it has to end, before anything worse can 
come of it."

The speech made her pause.  It sounded rehearsed and stilted.  
The thought occurred to her that she might be able to confuse 
him into letting her go.  He didn't sound so willing to carry 
through with this as it was.

"There are thousands of us," she argued.  "You can't kill us 
all."

"Probably not, but there will be others to continue the work 
when I am stopped.  They can eradicate the abominations that 
were done."

Eradicate the abominations.  Uncharacteristically big 
words from someone who seemed so simple.  Something 
wasn't right.

"How do you know about the abominations?  Were you one of 
us?"

"Please don't ask me any more questions," he pleaded.  "Just 
relax and let me finish this.  There are others I have to attend to
yet.  If you don't struggle, it will all be over in a moment,
painlessly."

She looked at his mammoth figure in the lanterns glow, noting 
that he seemed to be all hands and feet, as though he had 
reached adult size, but not adult proportions.  He was strong 
enough to defeat her if she tried to struggle, but maybe, just 
maybe, she could convince him to hold off for a while...Maybe 
she could talk him out of it.

"You can't!" she cried with a desperation that was not all 
acting.  "Please--I'm pregnant.  I have a child inside me that is
innocent in all of this.  If you kill me, you'll kill my baby also.  I
just want a chance for my baby to live--that's all I'm asking." 
Sorry, little one, she thought.  I'll do anything to buy us more time.

Her captor backed off, his face working convulsively.  She had 
to be destroyed.  Everything in him cried out to see her dead.  
He HAD to see her dead.  But a baby...There was nothing 
inside him that gave him instructions for a baby.  He didn't 
want to see a little baby dead, didn't have to see a little baby dead.
 The baby didn't have to be destroyed.

"What can I do?"  he wailed, torn, and for a moment, Scully 
thought that he was going to begin to cry.  "I can't allow you 
to live.  You have to die."

"Why?  Who says I have to die?"  She demanded, taking 
control while he was vulnerable and confused.

"I just know you have to die."

"Then hold me here.  Keep me here if you must, until I have 
my baby.  I'm a doctor.  I can tell you what to do for the birth. 
Then you can do what you want with me.  Just be sure that my baby is
taken back to my husband, please."  It wasn't perfect, but at least
she would have some more time to figure out how to escape.

"I won't give you any trouble," she promised.  "My own life 
doesn't matter, but I will do anything to save my baby.  
Please."

The inner battle being waged within him was frightening to 
watch as the emotions crossed his face.  His features twisted in
turmoil, and for a moment, Scully was sure that she had lost.  Then he
began to approach her.  She started to back away, but he grabbed her
wrists and began to pull off the strips of cloth that bound them. 
"All right," he sighed, putting the syringe back in his pocket.  "You
can live until your baby comes.  But if there isn't a baby, if this is
a trick--"

"It's no trick," she vowed.  "I only learned for certain about the
baby yesterday."

"You'll have to stay here," he warned her, looking around the 
cell  There was a note of relief in his voice, and she realized 
that he was happy he didn't have to kill her.

"I will."

"I'll bring you food and water," he said.  "But I might not be 
able to come more than once a day."

"It doesn't matter so long as my baby is safe," she said softly, all
of a sudden being reminded of her personal needs.  "Um, I'll need a
bucket, or something..." she said, and he blushed with embarrassment.

"I will get one for you," he answered, his eyes sad.  He reached out
to touch her face, and it was all she could do to keep from jerking
away from him.  "I'm sorry it has to be this way.  I am just glad that
you don't fear me like the others would have..."

"I fear you," she said frankly.  "I fear anyone who has the 
power of life or death over me.  But I will do anything to see 
my baby safe."

"The others weren't like you," he said softly.  "They didn't 
fight, they didn't care.  If they had all been like you, they would
never have been taken, or needed to be destroyed...THEY would never
have gotten away with what they did."

Scully looked at him closely.  How did he know so much about 
it? 

"There might still be justice yet," she said placatingly.  "Please,
I'm so thirsty."

He seemed to jerk suddenly into motion.  "I'll be back," he 
promised, taking up the lantern, but she stopped him.

"Could you leave the light?  It's so terribly dark in here."

He looked around the room as though seeing it for the first 
time.  "I've never spent any time down here...I didn't know...Of
course I'll leave the lamp."

He went up the ladder and pulled it out behind him, sealing the 
door overhead as it closed.

Scully collapsed on the cot, trembling and aware that she had 
barely made it through that encounter alive.  It was only 
because she had been able to reason with him that she had 
survived.

Reason with him...the thought of her captor left her perplexed.  His
obsession with seeing the abduction victims dead seemed so out of
place for someone so simple, someone who seemed so determined to do
good in his heart.  His faith that he was preventing a larger evil by
eliminating the abduction victims was too well reasoned out for
someone of such limited faculties.  And when he had stated his
reasons, they had been delivered in a cold monotone that sounded like
a recording.  Why was he so convinced that this needed to be done, and
how could she unconvince him?  Was he merely confused, or did he truly
believe that the experiments performed upon herself and the others
could be harmful to humanity?

She shivered at the thought.  It doesn't matter.  It wasn't my 
fault.  I'm the victim here.  I was taken and used against my 
will, and I won't pay for it with my life.  I don't deserve to die for
what they did to me.

Her captor arrived again an hour later.  She had taken the time 
to thoroughly inspect the cell in which she was being held.  It 
seemed to be a storm cellar or bomb shelter of some kind, but 
from what she had heard, the noises from the outside, it 
seemed as though she was in the middle of nowhere.  Why 
would someone just plant a cellar or shelter in the middle of 
nowhere?  How had her captor come across it?  Where was it 
located?  How far would she be from civilization if she 
managed to escape?

She had tried the door in the ceiling already.  Even standing on the
cot, she could only brush it with the tips of her fingers.  No, her
escape would have to be made at a time when he lowered the ladder. 
But that meant that he would be present at the time, thus forcing her
into a physical confrontation with him.  She didn't want that.  Such
an encounter posed several risks.  She could lose, causing him to take
away his trust so that she would not get another chance.  Or she could
anger him and give him reason to kill her then and there.  Or she
could harm her baby in the struggle...

She heard the door above her begin to scrape open on its rusty 
hinges, and the ladder was lowered into the cell.  She 
suppressed the urge to try to rush him.  He was probably 
expecting such a thing.  He had warned her what would happen 
if this was a trick, and she believed him.  He was a little too 
obsessed to make idle threats.  She would have to wait for 
now, gain his trust before she made her move.  But one day, 
the instant his guard was down, he would come down that 
ladder to find a surprise waiting for him.

He had brought her food and water as promised, in a cooler 
with an ice pack.  There were cold-cut sandwiches with no 
mayonnaise or anything that could spoil quickly.  And tucked 
neatly beside the ice pack, where they would stay coolest, 
longest, were several half-pint paper cartons of milk and 
calcium-fortified orange juice.  He had also brought her fresh 
fruit and several granola snack bars.

She felt slightly overwhelmed at this display of generosity.  It must
have taken time and consideration to put together this selection.

"I thought since you're pregnant, you might need the milk," he 
said softly.  "I brought a bucket, too, like you asked.  I can 
take it out every day for you.  I'm sorry I can't do better for 
you, but there is really no place else I can keep you--at least, no
place where you wouldn't try to escape."

So he was on the lookout for an escape attempt.  It would take 
every ounce of acting ability she possessed, which wasn't a 
great deal, to make him think that escape was the farthest thing from
her mind.  She reminded herself that, despite his considerate
behavior, he would kill her if she provoked him.  The rest of this was
the salving of a tortured conscience.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, she thought venomously.  
Just don't turn your back on me for too long.

"It's more than I could have hoped for," she replied sweetly, 
gulping the water down thirstily.  He had brought her a gallon 
jug and paper cups for her to drink from.  She unwrapped one 
of the sandwiches and began to devour it.  "Thank you."  The 
words, like the phony smile, caused the food to form a knot in 
her throat, and despite her hunger, she had to force herself to 
swallow.

"Whatever you may believe," he said quietly, "I don't like what 
I have to do.  But it has to be done.  Please try to understand."

She was careful not to make any reply.  If she argued with him, 
it could only delay the process of him trusting her.  Best just to let
him think that she did sympathize.

He shuffled around the cell uncomfortably, and Scully began to 
wish he would just leave so that she could make use of the 
bucket he had positioned discreetly in the corner.  The 
sanitation implications of this arrangement were becoming 
painfully obvious to her, with no running water or sewage.  It 
was a gruesome thought.

Anything, Scully, she scolded herself.  You said you'd do 
anything for your baby.

"Not a very nice place to be for a pregnant lady," he muttered, 
and she could not tell whether he spoke to her or himself.  She 
was too busy wolfing down her second sandwich.  "When I get 
the chance, I'll bring some cleaning supplies.  That way, you 
can make it nicer.  You're going to be here a while.  Is there 
anything else you need tonight?"

She shook her head, her mouth full of food.  She just wanted 
him to go, before she lost all dignity before him in her need to
relieve herself.

"You may not want to leave the lantern running all the time," 
he said.  "You'll run out of kerosene.  I've left matches so that you
can re-light it whenever you need to.  Do you know how to use one?"

She did.  Her father had taken her camping as a child.

He stammered wordlessly a couple times, then decided not to 
speak at all and was gone.  Scully set her sandwich aside and 
went to the bucket, noting that he had even brought a roll of 
toilet paper, and alcohol wipes for her hands.  Yes, he was 
certainly considerate.  Not at all the type of behavior one 
would expect from a psychopath.

She returned to her sandwich, eating more slowly now that her 
initial hunger had faded.  The walls of the bare cubicle began to
close around her as she studied them.  How in God's name was she
supposed to remain here indefinitely?

Anything, Dana.  You said anything.

Suddenly, she felt very tired.  The drugs, probably, added onto 
fright, and all the changes happening within her body.  She lay
down wearily, her thoughts turning to Mulder--at home, alone,
worried about her...

Mulder, her mind called out.  Oh, God, Mulder.  Don't lose 
hope.  I'll get back to you.  I'll bring our baby back to you safe and
sound, I promise.

Tomorrow, when her captor came, she would start to get 
answers, start her invasion of his mind and thoughts.  When the 
time came for her to make her move, he would never see it 
coming.  But right now, she desperately needed sleep.

She drifted off to thoughts of Mulder and her baby.  And miles 
away, Mulder was waking to thoughts of her.

*  *  *  *  *

End of Part Five


===========================================================================

From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:29 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 6a


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Six (1/2)

*  *  *  *  *

In his dream, Mulder was walking toward the bench that had 
become a favored spot for Scully and him over the years.  But 
this time, he was alone.  He was looking for her, waiting for 
her, and still she did not come.  He began to call out to her, 
crying her name, but she did not answer, and then, with 
wakening dread, he looked into the water nearby.  All he saw 
were pale limbs and red hair floating on the water before he 
woke with a strangled cry.

He was in the bedroom at Mrs. Scully's house, the one that he 
and Scully shared when they visited, he realized, looking 
around, trembling.  In the time since Samantha had forced him 
to lie down, the sky had become black outside, and some of the 
day's heat had abated.  He looked at the clock and realized that
Samantha hadn't kept her promise to wake him in an hour.  It was after
midnight.

The door swung open, and Samantha queried softly, "Fox?"

"I'm up," he said, trying to keep his voice level.  His heart was
still pounding rapidly in his throat somewhere, and he realized that
his clothes were damp with perspiration.

"I know.  I heard you.  Are you all right?"

"Bad dreams," he shrugged, minimizing his fear.  "If a 
nightmare or two is the worst that I come out of this with, I'll be
doing pretty damned good."

Samantha smiled tenderly at him, wrapping an arm around him.  
"Walter Skinner is here," she said.  "He's been waiting for 
you."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"He's staying the night," she said.  "He said not to bother you, that
he would speak to you in the morning if you slept through.  Which, I
will add, we were all hoping you would do."

"Let me get myself together," he said.  "I'll be out in a minute."

"Don't rush," she replied.  "I don't think they heard you.  They are
all in the family room around the TV, watching the late news.  I only
heard you because I was coming down the hall to check on you."

He groaned.  "God, Sam, I don't know if I can survive another 
day of this.  I don't know how I survived three months before.  
Maybe it was the fact that I didn't know back then just how 
much she meant to me that kept me from exploding--not that I 
did that great a job of keeping it together as it was--"

"You'll survive, Fox.  You have to.  When Dana makes it 
through this, she's going to need you more than ever.  You 
always said that she's the strong one, but I've seen you 
together, Fox.  You make each other strong.  It's why you've 
always worked so well together."

Samantha's intentional use of the word "when" did not go 
unnoticed by her brother.  "Thanks, Sam."

"Are you ready now?"

"Just a minute," he asked, grabbing her arm when she moved 
to rise.  "Sam--you're one of Scully's closest female friends.  
Did she ever talk to you about our decision on children?"

"Not much.  She just said that you had figured that the rewards 
didn't justify the risks involved."

"Was she all right with that?"

Samantha frowned.  "She seemed to be.  She was sad, of 
course.  I can't imagine that the decision to NOT have children 
is an easy one to make.  But yeah, she seemed okay with it.  
Why do you ask?"

He shook his head.  "Something was bothering her last night, 
and we didn't have a chance to talk about it.  I was just taking a
stab at what it might have been."

"You'll find out," she reassured him.  "Just as soon as you bring Dana
home.  Now come on, Walter has been waiting up for you."

Skinner, it turned out, had worked late that evening with the
investigative team, looking at the leads Mulder had provided 
them with.  The team was set to meet with several of the men 
listed tomorrow.  There were even two on the list who had 
been in and out of jail and psychiatric hospitals since their 
abduction experiences.  All there was to do at this point was 
get alibis from each of them and see if they held up.

Mulder produced the printouts he had obtained from Penny 
Northern that afternoon and handed them over to Skinner.  
They sat at the coffee table in the living room reading them 
over and deciding if any should be added to the first batch of 
possible suspects up for questioning.

Mulder paused, realizing that it was the first time he and 
Skinner had ever worked closely on a case.  It wasn't common 
for the Director of the FBI to involve himself in an 
investigation like Skinner was doing, but the man had made an 
exception for Scully.

"I want to thank you for giving this you personal attention," 
Mulder said when he and Skinner finished their work and he 
began to put away the papers.  "I realize it's not something you would
do for just anyone, and I think it would mean a lot to Scully if she
knew."

"I can't do any less, Mulder," Skinner said, his expression 
serious.  "For a number of reasons.  If you'll recall, I owe Dana my
life."

That brought a sad smile to Mulder's face.  "So do I, sir," he 
replied solemnly.  "Many times over."

Skinner stood and stretched, and Mulder did the same.  
Samantha and Caroline had both headed off to bed, and 
Skinner had forced Maggie to retire despite her protests, and 
now that his work here was finished, Mulder was going to head 
home.  In a distant part of his brain, Mulder wondered how 
Scully would react to Skinner staying at her mother's house 
overnight.  For her own peace of mind, Scully had refused to 
learn any more about her mother's relationship with her boss 
than was absolutely necessary.

Skinner made his excuses and disappeared down the hall, 
leaving Mulder alone to gather up his stuff.  He had gotten it 
all together and was sitting alone for a moment in the living 
room when Caroline Mulder walked in.  She was in her 
pajamas and bath robe, but she looked as though she hadn't 
been sleeping yet.

"Fox?"  she murmured.  Mulder turned around to face her.

"I thought you were in bed," he said softly.  "I wasn't going to wake
you to say good-night, since I'll probably see you in the morning
anyway."

"That's all right," she answered and stared at him for a long 
moment.  What could she say to make this any easier for him?

In truth, she felt as though life was replaying this scene one 
more time in a last ditch effort to give her a chance to get it 
right.  There had been so many times over the years that Fox 
had come to her needing comforting, feeling helpless over his 
inability to find Samantha, and she had denied him that, too 
absorbed in her own sorrow, her own guilt.  Now, she had one 
final chance to give him what he needed...

Get it right, Caroline!  For once in your life, get it right!

She meant to give him sympathy and understanding.  What 
came out, however, was exactly right.  "Whatever you do, Fox, 
please don't even think of blaming yourself for this."

There.  She'd said it.  She'd made certain that he knew she 
didn't think it was his fault.

"Why am I never there when I'm needed most, Mom?"

"Oh, Fox, you are always there when you're needed most.  I 
just never realized it before."

"I'm just afraid that I will let her down, again.  If I can't save
her, Mom--"

"You listen to me, Fox Mulder," she said sternly.  "If you don't want
pity, fine.  I'm not going to give it.  But don't you let me hear you
speak as though this is all upon your shoulders.  Wanting to be strong
for her is one thing, Fox, but you cannot take the blame for every
terrible, twisted, tormented act committed by humanity.  If--if, by
some horrible chance of fate, Dana does not come back to you, you're
going to have to carry on, but under no circumstances would Dana want
you to feel like you failed her.  She knows you better.  You're her
life's partner, Fox.  No matter what happens, you can never disappoint
her.  Don't attempt to do so by selling yourself short."

She embraced him tenderly, drawing him into her arms with all 
the maternal warmth she had denied him over the years, and 
suddenly, she realized that she had succeeded.  She had, finally,
given him exactly what it was that he needed.  She felt tears sting
her eyes.

"I'm going back to bed," she said quietly.  "I just needed to say that
to you.  Are you sure about going home tonight?"

"Yeah.  I'll be leaving in a minute.  I'll see you tomorrow, 
okay?"

"All right.  Good night, Fox," she murmured, and left as quietly as
she had come.

Mulder stared around the empty, silent living room, lit only by 
one low lamp.  From the hallway, he could hear muted 
conversation, muffled by a door, and guessed that Maggie 
Scully hadn't been asleep yet.  Skinner was in there now, 
bidding her good-night before retiring to the spare bedroom 
prepared for him.

Mulder thought about his mother's words.

It seemed he had been feeling guilty about something or 
another for so long that he didn't know how to function 
without his guilt.  He felt naked without it.  But Scully 
wouldn't want that.  She knew in her heart that he hadn't failed her. 
Why couldn't he know it in his heart as well?  Why this agonizing
self-doubt?  Why not be comforted in the knowledge that he had done
all he could rather than search endlessly for reasons why it was his
fault?  It was perverse.  It was masochistic.

God, Scully, I need you, he thought, looking out the bay 
window into the night sky.  He sank down onto the window 
seat, and thought of the magical Christmas a year and a half 
ago that she had taken the first step and kissed him under the 
mistletoe above this seat.  If she had left it up to him, he would
never have had the courage to approach her.  He would have shied away
from any possible rejection and left good enough alone.  She was the
brave one, he realized, no matter what Samantha said.  She was the one
who had the courage to open her heart and mind despite the risk. 
Without her taking those first steps, Mulder might never have allowed
himself to know what it was to feel again.

I would do anything for you, Scully, he thought, leaning his 
head against the wall behind him and closing his eyes.  
Anything at all if it meant keeping you safe.  I'd give my life 
without a second thought, but you've got to hold on for me.  
You've got to stay alive until I get there.  He opened his eyes.  How
did he know she was alive?  He realized how quickly the thought, the
knowledge had entered his mind.  At this instant, no matter what
rational doubts existed, he knew for a certainty that she was still
alive and well, and waiting for her opportunity to come back to him.

How can I know that?

Because you would know if she were dead, something inside 
him answered.  Because what you and she share transcends the 
physical and mental, and if she were dead, you would feel your 
spirit shrivel up and die as well.

For the second time that day, he closed his eyes, and his mind
whispered, Speak to me, Scully.  Tell me where you are and I'll 
come for you.

There was no answer.  Yet.

*  *  *  *  *


===========================================================================

From: "Kristel S. Johns" <kjohns@mail2.alliance.net>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 1996 18:05:25 +0000
Subject: (Fwd) Nightscape 6b


NIGHTSCAPE
Kristel S. Oxley-Johns

Please send all questions, suggestions and comments to
the author at kjohns@mail2.alliance.net

The characters and situations of the X-Files television program
are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox
Broadcasting, DD, GA, et cetera, and are used without
permission.  No infringement is intended.  I just want to tell a
story.

Part Six (2/2)

*  *  *  *  *

The apartment was unearthly quiet when he entered after two 
that morning.  The stillness was unnerving.  Despite the hour, 
he went to the CD player and put in some of his and Scully's 
favorite music, then lay down on the sofa.  If he could sense 
that she was alive, then perhaps, on some level, he could get a 
feel for the direction she had been taken in.  It took him only a
moment of lying there with his eyes closed before he drifted off into
sleep, an untormented sleep that, if it contained any dreams at all,
they did not wake him.

He awoke the next morning with a stiff back, realizing how 
long it had been since he had slept on a sofa.  But his heart did not
feel as ravaged as it had the previous morning.  The knowledge that
Scully was still alive was certain within him.  It gave him a measure
of peace so that he was able to stand back and look at the situation
and put it into perspective.  He could think of nothing to do with
himself that day but wait and see what the leads he had acquired
yesterday turned up, and while the inactivity nearly drive him insane,
he forced himself to remain where he was.  In the afternoon, Bartel
called to report that the first three men off the list had produced
bullet-proof alibis.  They would be contacting the others off the list
to see what they could find.

It was then that Mulder realized the source of his despair the 
previous day.  In his heart, he really didn't believe that the 
suspect would be one that list.  He couldn't explain how he 
knew that, and certainly the list was worth checking out, but he had
no faith that anything would come of it.

The thought should have sent him spiraling down into a funk 
again.  Instead, he felt calm.  He couldn't explain that either. 
Logically, he knew he had to assume that the perpetrator would follow
the same pattern as with the other victims, perhaps even on an
accelerated time frame.  In that case, Scully had, at most, a couple
of days from the time of the kidnapping.  Indeed, today, if the
previous cases were any indication, she should be dead.  But just as
he knew that she was alive, he also knew that they still had time to
find her.

What did you do, Scully?  He asked silently.  How did you buy 
yourself more time?

At any rate, no matter how much time remained for them, he 
couldn't sit around each day waiting for things to happen.  
Even though he knew the investigating team had already done 
so, he questioned the other residents of their apartment 
building to see if they could recall anything suspicious.  One 
woman on the ground floor claimed to recall having heard 
something from the parking lot about the same time that Scully 
was taken, but that she had thought it was simply a strange 
noise from the TV and hadn't gone to investigate.  Others said 
that a car which they had never seen before or since had pulled 
out of the parking lot just as they had pulled in.  Mulder had to
restrain himself from jumping with excitement at that news, but his
elation quickly faded when they described the car as a dark sedan.  A
dark sedan.  That would only fit about seventy percent of the cars in
Washington D.C..

Disgusted, he returned home to wait.  Skinner had ordered him 
to stay out of the office for the time being, and had threatened him
with dire consequences if he didn't comply.  Over the years, Mulder
and Skinner had reached a certain understanding in their working
relationship.  Skinner meant business, and Mulder complied lest he
find himself on an enforced leave of absence.

After that first night at Mrs. Scully's house, Mulder's optimism was
nothing short of astounding to those who knew him and his morose
moods.  It shocked everyone and yet no one had the courage to suggest
to him that he might be entertaining false hopes.  As the leads on the
investigation dwindled through the first week, Mulder's confident
insistence that Scully was okay for the time being was the only thing
that kept hope alive.

Mulder began to make calls.  He started with Byers and 
Langley and Frohike at THE LONE GUNMAN.  He told them 
about the situation, not that they weren't already well aware of it,
and asked them to put out feelers for anyone with suspicious knowledge
within or without MUFON.  Of course, at THE LONE GUNMAN, everyone had
suspicious knowledge, so Mulder wasn't quite sure what he expected
them to produce.  Sometimes, even to this day, their resources
surprised him.

He left the task of comforting Frohike, who had worn a black 
armband to Mulder and Scully's wedding and now claimed to 
be waiting for the day of Scully's inevitable widowhood to 
make his move, up to Byers and Langley.

From there, he moved on to the MUFON members that he and 
Scully had records on, all along the east coast.  From them, he 
requested that they keep their ears open for any strange 
behavior at the gatherings of MUFON members.  They thought 
that they might have had a break in the case when one woman 
reported a man in her New England chapter that was getting 
more and more upset by the bad rap that aliens were getting 
from the supposed "abductees."  The man was angered to the 
point of near-violence several times claiming that the monsters 
responsible for the abductions were not aliens, that the aliens 
were kind and benevolent and only on earth to help and 
observe.  A check of the man's alibis quickly disproved any 
ideas that he might have been responsible for any of the 
kidnappings or murders.  Mulder knew the man had no idea 
how close he was to the truth about the abductions, but he 
made a note to some day introduce this guy to a few of the 
"kind, benevolent" aliens that he had encountered along the 
way.

Well into the second week, Mulder began to have doubts about 
his own certainty that Scully was okay.  How on earth could 
she have bought herself that much time?  

What if you're wrong, Mulder? His inner voice taunted him.  
What if  you've tricked yourself into believing a fool's dream?

Mulder stubbornly attempted to squash the doubts as the 
second week faded into the third, despite his rising panic.  I 
would know if she were dead, his heart insisted.  It would hit 
me about two seconds before the knowledge that there is 
absolutely no way I can live without her.

The nightmares returned as his confidence faded, more vivid 
than the ones that he'd had over at Mrs. Scully's house.  
Visions of holding his wife's cold, stiff body left him sobbing 
into his pillow in the night.  His efforts at eating and sleeping were
less than heroic, and it was only at the stubborn insistence of the
other women in his life that he remembered such basic things as to
shower and shave.  When Byers and company came up empty handed, he
grew frantic.

Maggie, Caroline, and Samantha visited him at his apartment 
each day, providing him with meals when he neglected to eat, 
and gently strong-arming him into the bed when he looked to 
be on the verge of collapse.  They did not point out the 
growing shadows beneath his eyes or the wrinkled condition of 
his clothing.  Instead, they did what they could to make things 
easier for him without being overtly maternal.  When he 
remembered to, he told them how deeply he appreciated their 
efforts.

It was Mrs. Scully who was the first to break down.  Samantha 
and Caroline had gone to get groceries for Mulder, knowing he 
would never take the time or remember to do so for himself 
when he was so desperately searching for clues to lead him to 
Scully.  Mrs. Scully had asked them to leave her behind with 
Mulder, and they had complied.

He sat at his computer, going over files he had on purported 
abductees and MUFON for what seemed to be the zillionth 
time, praying each time that he did so that something would 
appear that he had missed before.  Margaret stood staring out 
the picture window at Scully's car, sitting innocently enough in its
parking spot.  The she turned to him with tears in her eyes.

"Fox," she whispered, "It's been so long..."

It was the first she had spoken of the matter to him besides her daily
requests for whatever information had been turned up,  Mulder looked
at her, surprised.  In his own pain, it had been easy to forget hers,
and knowing her, she had probably not wanted to burden him.

He turned from him computer, truly seeing her for the first 
time since she had walked though his door that morning.  He 
had been quite stubborn in his insistence that he needed to 
remain near the apartment in case word of Scully should arrive, 
and they had indulged him, turning the Mulder/Scully residence 
into their waiting headquarters.  He noticed how pale and 
gaunt Margaret Scully appeared, and he felt guilty for having 
ignored what she must be feeling.  Sympathy filled his heart, 
and some of the wild look left his eyes.

"I know, Mrs. Scully," he said softly, his voice cracking 
slightly.  "But we can't give up hope.  Scully, wherever she is, is
still alive."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked tearfully.

"I just am.  I would know if she died.  And I think that you 
would, too."

She nodded, wiping her eyes.  "I just seems so futile.  How can 
someone just disappear like this, without a trace?"

It wouldn't be the first time, he wanted to reply, but he 
refrained, not wanting to trudge up painful memories to add 
onto her suffering.  It was bad enough already that he often 
found himself reaching up to finger Scully's tiny gold cross only to
realize that this time, it was not around his neck.

He shook his head helplessly.  "She was gone longer than this 
before," he answered instead,  "and she still came out all right. 
Whatever happens, she'll find a way to return home.  She'll fight.  I
know she will."

What if she can't fight hard enough?  The unspoken question 
hung in the air between them like something palpable.  Mulder 
winced.

Mercifully, the telephone chose that moment to ring, and 
Mulder answered it gratefully.  "Mulder/Scully residence."

"Hello, this is Denise from Dr. Belton's office.  May I please 
speak with Dana Scully?"

Pain shot through Mulder's heart.  "I'm sorry," he answered 
with composure that he did not feel, "she isn't here right now.  This
is her husband.  May I take a message for her?"

"Yes, please.  I was just calling to confirm her appointment for her
prenatal check-up tomorrow morning, scheduled for nine- thirty.  Will
Ms. Scully be able to make it?"

Mulder felt the room begin to spin and he sat down.  Hard.  
"I'm sorry," he replied, his voice strangled as suddenly his 
collar began to feel too tight.  He began to jerk at it violently. 
"She is out of town indefinitely, and she won't be able to make it. 
When she is able to, however, I'm sure she will call and reschedule."

"Thank you," the woman named Denise replied.  Her cheer 
seemed to smother Mulder.  "Please remind her as soon as you 
can that she needs to reschedule.  Early prenatal care is very 
important to a healthy pregnancy."

"I'll do that," he answered, his voice barely a whisper.

"Thank you, sir.  You have pleasant day."

Numbly, he hit the "off" button of the cordless phone and let it fall
from his fingers.  He realized that he was shaking.

"Fox?" Mrs. Scully's eyes were wide and fearful as they 
watched him.  "What is it?  What's the matter?"

He buried his face in his hands, raking his fingers through his 
hair.  "That was Scully's doctor's office," he said softly, looking up
at her.  She sat weakly beside him on the sofa.

"What did they want?"

He hesitated.  "Scully is pregnant."

She turned pale.  "Oh, my God.  Since when?"

"I don't know," he shook his head.  "They were just calling to 
confirm an appointment she made for a prenatal check-up 
tomorrow."

"You didn't know she was pregnant?"  Mrs. Scully asked, her 
voice sharp with confusion.

"I think--I think that she was planning to tell me that night.  
She had been acting strangely all day, and she had told me that 
when she got home that night, she had something she wanted 
to talk to me about.  But, no.  I didn't know."

"Oh, my baby girl..." Mrs. Scully's voice trembled.  "She's all 
alone out there, and pregnant..."

Mulder reached out and took her hand. Clenching it tightly.  
Oh, Scully, he thought desperately.  Why didn't you tell me?

*  *  *  *  *

End of Part Six


===========================================================================

