From: "Chris ........" Date: Sat, 26 Dec 1998 19:48:12 PST Subject: No Greater Love No Greater Love Christine Hughes Rating PG-13 for language MSR/angsty Summary: After all this time, Mulder and Scully finally locate Samantha, and as Mulder struggles to find the answers, he realizes the true meaning of love. Disclaimer: Scully and Mulder are the creation of Chris Carter, and are owned by CC, 1013 and FOX. No infringement is intended. Spoilers: Pilot, Fire, The End, The Movie, Triangle Feedback: Please be gentle, this is my first attempt at fanfic. Any feedback can be directed to angelgirl_24@hotmail.com Please archive at Boundless and Gossamer, anywhere else please ask me first, and keep my name with it. No Greater Love I sat looking out the window, watching the world pass by as we drove, and was amazed at how fast things change. Looking over at him, sitting in the driver's seat, I began to wonder when it was that I first fell in love with him. I know for a fact that I've loved him ever since our first case together in Bellefleur, but at some point in time, I've crossed that ever-so-subtle line of loving someone to being in love with them. I am in love with Mulder. There, I said it.. or at the very least, have admitted it to myself. No one else needs to know, because I could never tell him. Although, he did tell me that he loved me once. Naturally, he was high on painkillers after his little field trip to the Bermuda Triangle. But that's a different story, or so I have continuously tried to convince myself. Besides, there is now way that the FBI would approve of a relationship anyway. *Get a grip, Dana.... this is only one-sided, there is no romantic relationship here. There can't be... he's your best friend..* "Scully, what's wrong ? You've been staring at me for the past ten minutes. Is there something you want?" Oh no.. Mulder had been watching her the whole time. I don't know what's worse: being caught, or fighting the urge to shout at the top of my lungs that what I really want is him. The thought of it causes my cheeks to blush, and I look away, hoping that he won't notice. Okay, I know it was foolish idea. This is the man who notices everything. Luckily, he didn't question me further, but turned up the air conditioning a little. Glancing back out the window again quickly, I tried to divert his attention away from me by asking a question. "Tell me again about this case Mulder. What exactly are we looking for?" He looked over at me quickly before focusing on the road again. Then he launched into the upcoming case, and I began to relax again. That one was too close. I'd have to be more careful about that from now on. ******************************************************************************** After we checked into the hotel, which for once, actually was nice, and even had an interior entrance. I had grown so accustomed to the roadside motels in the middle of nowhere, that I almost felt out of place here. Since our appointment with the sheriff wasn't until the following morning, Mulder and I went to our separate rooms to change, then met downstairs in the lobby for dinner. It was a nice evening, and we had decided to walk, because we both were tired after having ridden in a car all day long. The restaurant that had been agreed upon was only about 2 blocks away from their hotel, and since it was an off-hour, it wasn't very crowded. For once, we had a conversation that didn't involve the government conspiracies or little green men. Normally that alone would have shocked me. But nothing could have prepared me for when Mulder picked up the bill, and headed for the front of the restaurant. Never had he paid for our dinner before. Usually we went 50-50, or he would have conveniently forgotten his wallet. This was new. And in some ways, I kind of liked it. Getting up to follow him, we met at the front of the restaurant, and he held the door for me, guiding me with the ever-familiar hand at the small of my back. While a gesture such as that would make some women uncomfortable, it would be more alien to me if he wouldn't do that, because it is something that we have both become accustomed to. We walked back to the hotel in silence, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one. Instead of going straight to our rooms once we reached the hotel, I went into his room first, because I could tell without his saying that he wanted to talk. Settling down into the chair across from him, I drew my knees up to my chest, and just waited for him to speak. When he did, nothing prepared me for his voice to crack, or for the tears to start. "Do you know what today is, Scully?" he asked me, unable to meet my eyes. I didn't no, but instead of saying so, I reached over, and covered his hand with mine, squeezing it slightly, so that he would look at me. Our eyes met, and I whispered softly, "Tell me." He didn't hesitate at all, but emotions overtook him, and he could utter only one word. "Samantha." Knowing from past conversations, I realized that this was not the anniversary of the night she had disappeared, I guessed that it was her birthday. I waited for him to continue, and he cleared his throat, and began to speak again. "She could have had a family of her own by now, a life of her own, and now because of me... it is all lost. It's my fault, I stole her life, just.. just like I'm stealing yours." He isn't looking at me anymore, but has turned away. My heart is breaking for this man, who thinks that he is stealing my life, when all he has stolen is my heart and my soul. And he doesn't even have to do that, for I would give it to him freely, if only he would ask. Standing up and walking over to him, I pull him towards me, and he rests his head on my shoulder. Gently stroking his hair, I whisper softly to him.. "Mulder, you have stolen nothing from Samantha, she would never blame you for this. And you have never stolen anything from me. I couldn't leave you now even if I tried. This isn't just your quest anymore, Mulder; its ours. Together, we will find the truth." I'm not sure how long we stayed that way, my literally holding the both of us up, but it was very late when I made my way to my room through the adjoining door. ******************************************************************************** I was tired, but decided I would take a bath before going to sleep. But before I could, I noticed something lying on my bed. It was a manilla envelope, but it was blank. Opening it cautiously, I pulled out its contents. In one hand I held a Polaroid, the other contained a letter. Dear Miss Scully, I feel like I've known you my entire life, even though we have never met. My name is Samantha Mulder. Please do not think this is a hoax, and please do not tell Fox about this, he wouldn't understand. I need for you to bring him to me, for I am too weak to go to him. I know for a fact that he trusts you, and that if anyone could get him here, it is you. I need to see my brother, to tell him that none of this is his fault. Please, bring him to me, I want to say good-bye, before it is too late. Sincerely, Samantha Mulder By the time I had finished reading this, my hands were shaking. Normally I would have passed this off as a hoax, but something told me this was the real thing, and I desperately wanted to give Mulder the piece of mind he craved. Turning the Polaroid over, I saw an address printed on the back. It wasn't too far from where we were, so I knew we had to get there immediately. Grabbing my gun and holster from where I had just lain them, I threw my blazer on over my jeans and t-shirt, and went to knock on Mulder's door, knowing full well that he would still be awake. He came to the door almost immediately, and as I briefly explained what was going on, he turned so deathly pale that for a moment I feared he had gone into shock. Then, without a word, or even looking at the picture, he grabbed the car keys, and pulled me with him toward the elevator. Just like that, no questions, nothing. Complete and total trust. It never ceases to amaze me, the trust we have for each other. I carry his life in my hands as much as he carries mine in his. We keep each other alive, in every possible way imaginable. As we reach the car, we drive in silence, again not needing words to express what each of us is feeling. As we turn onto the street indicated, and pull into the drive, a porch light comes on, and a woman is standing in the doorway. ******************************************************************************** No Greater Love 2/2 Mulder is out of the car and dashing to the porch before he barely has time to stop it. He and the woman embrace, and are holding on for dear life. I walk up to the porch carefully, not wanting to disturb them, yet too curious to stay back for long. Feeling a little nervous, I step toward her, and she embraces me too. I feel as though in some way, this is also my sister, and I now understood what she had meant when she said that she felt that we had known each other our whole life. We were welcomed inside, and once seated, Mulder began asking questions. "Where have you been all these years? Have you been hurt?" There was genuine concern in his voice, and he half-held his breath while waiting for her reply. "I've been here, Fox", she replied softly. "No, I wasn't hurt, but there is something you must know. I'm dying, Fox. But before you go blaming THEM, you should know that I have always been ill, even as a child. Mom and Dad never told you, because they knew it would kill you." "What??" I watched as my partner nearly fell out of his seat, his face contorted in a combination of fear, anger, and anguish. My heart was breaking for him, yet I could also sense that his was breaking as well. "Please don't be angry Fox. I've known where you were for a long time, but never wanted to contact you, because I honestly believed you would be better off believing I was dead. I never dreamed that I had become your life-long quest. I wouldn't have contacted you now, but the doctors tell me my time is short, and I knew I couldn't go without saying goodbye." "Leave? Leave!!; dammit, Sam, you're not going on an extended vacation, you're dying!!! I just got you back, and now you're telling me I have to lose you again? How could you do this to me? This time, there is no mistaking the anger in my partners voice, but I know better. He is so overcome with guilt at this moment that without thinking, I went to him, and asked him to hand me his weapon. For the first time since we arrived, he realizes that I was there. He handed it to me wordlessly, then an instant later, his arms wrapped around me, his entire body wracking with sobs, and again I am given the job of supporting the weight of both of us. But this time, it is too much for me, and we sink to the floor, but I never let go. Through the corner of my eye, I notice Sam slip from the room, granting us a moment of privacy. ******************************************************************************** One week later It is a cold day today, and the sky is gray and cloudy with the threat of rain. Mulder is still standing at her grave, unable to leave. Too many times I have been here. My father, Mulder's father, Melissa, and now Samantha. Too many funerals. Too much death. It has surrounded us from the beginning. Going over to him, I place my hand in his, and he looks over at me, his eyes now shining with unshed tears. He opens his mouth to speak, but I cover his mouth with my other hand, and simply whisper, "I know". We leave the cemetery hand in hand, and head back to the hotel. Despite all that has happened, we still have a case to finish. No matter how much death there is between us, there is always a case to finish. Later that night, pouring over files, trying to get into the head of a man who believes that he is doing people a favor when he kills them, I again see the pain in my partners face, and am overcome by the depth of my love for him. Last night, we sat up talking, and he was begging me to leave, because he couldn't bear to lose me too. I told him that I would die for him, if I had to, but it only caused him to cry anew. I never knew how much it killed him when I was hurting. We have been together for almost six years now, but this is the first time that I have ever fully realized the depth of his feelings for me. We never worked anymore that night, but again stayed awake talking, and when I went to my room and began to fall asleep, I remembered something I had read in the bible as a child. " There can be no greater love, than to lay down one's life for a friend" The words brought me comfort, and I fell into a fitful sleep. The next morning, my alarm clock rudely woke me up, despite my hitting the snooze button. By the time I had finished dressing, and was ready to go, Mulder was at my door, with two cups of coffee in his hand. After figuring out our game plan for the day, we got into the car, and I began driving to our first stop, the apartment building where this monster lived, as we had an appointment with the landlord. ******************************************************************************** The meeting with the landlord hadn't been very productive, considering the fact that by the time we got there, he was dead. Apparently, our 'monster' had gotten to him before we could. However, we weren't totally left in the dark. Inside the small office, we found a note, bearing only the address of an old warehouse about 20 minutes from the apartment building. We came upon the warehouse just as a storm was breaking. It seemed to rain a lot here. Mulder was behaving very strangely, and it was all I could do to keep him from charging into the dilapidated structure, as we were waiting on backup to arrive. However, I turned my head for one minute to see if I heard sirens, and he was off. Cursing to myself, I drew my weapon, and went charging after him. *i would die for him* thoughts came racing back from last night, and I shivered slightly, hoping that it would never come to that. I followed him into the main room of the warehouse, and stopped cold. Mulder and that man, that monster, were facing off, both ready to fire upon any movement. I approached them cautiously. Forcing myself to look at my partner, I saw the fury in his eyes and it frightened me. I wasn't afraid of him, but I had seen that look before, and had good reason to be afraid for him. Turning my head toward the man who was holding a gun on both me and my partner, I thought about firing, but knew there was no way I could assure that I would hit this man before he shot Mulder. Then the man spoke, and his words sent a chill down the back of my spine. The gun was leveled directly at Mulder's head. "Lay down your weapon now, or I kill him." the man's voice lacked emotion completely, and his pupils were dilated, so his eyes were almost completely black. Nodding slightly, knowing this wasn't the time to play hero, especially not with the gun pointed at Mulder. "No, wait." this time, his voice stopped me cold, and I shivered again. "Come here." he snapped. For the first time, Mulder seemed aware that I was in the room, and looked down at me. "Scully, no." it was more a plea than a request. But for once, I couldn't do as Mulder asked. I couldn't just stand here and watch this *bastard* shoot my partner, the man I loved. Walking over to him, I handed him my weapon, and waited. I was prepared for anything, or so I thought. What I didn't expect was for the pistol to connect with my jaw, or the stars to explode in front of my eyes. From across the room, I heard Mulder's cry of anguish, and as I spiraled to the floor, I was spun around roughly, and held in place by strong hands. I fought desperately to escape this prison, but when I felt the cold steel of the pistol against my temple, I froze. "Drop the gun Mulder." It clattered to the floor, and I watched in horror as my partner kicked it toward my captor. My anger at being overpowered got the better of me, and I managed to escape his grip, secretly retrieving the second pistol I kept hidden. I was roughly shoved toward Mulder, and most certainly would have fallen had he not caught me. The click of the safety made me jump, and I spun around in time to here the gun fire. I pushed Mulder toward the floor, using all my strength to shield his body with my own. I felt the bullet graze my left shoulder, and a searing pain followed, but not before I could squeeze off a shot at the captor. The bullet wound was fatal, and he died instantly. That was the last thing I remembered before I gave into the darkness. "Scully. Scully!! Can you hear me?" Mulders voice was frantic as he desperately tried to stop the bleeding, and I blinked until he came into focus, and gave him a weak smile. I tried to sit up, but he pushed me down. Looking around, I noticed that in the office behind where the man had been standing, there was an orangish glow. Not wanting to alarm Mulder, fully aware of his fear of fire, I concentrated on what mattered most to me. Getting him out of there. To save his life, even if it meant giving up my own to keep him safe. "Mulder, help me up okay? I'm fine, really. The bullet only grazed me. If you could just help me up, then go start the car, I'll be right out." He looked uncertain, and I could tell he wanted to argue with me, but after this much time together, I suppose he knew better. I staggered over, and picked up our weapons. As we reached the door, he was alerted by a crackling sound, and turned. Knowing what would happen, another memory of the night before raced through my mind. *there can be no greater love, than to lay down one's life for a friend* Using all the strength in my good arm, I pushed Mulder out of the door, as a small explosion rocked the building, sucking me back into it. "SCULLY!!!" Mulders scream was so painful, it nearly broke my heart. He knocked down the door that I had just pushed him out of, and came in after me. Smoke had filled my nostrils, and I was gasping for air. I had started to lose consciousness again when I felt him lift me, cradling me gently so as not to hurt my injured arm. I'm not sure if it was from the smoke, or the intense emotions he was feeling, but his eyes were clouded with tears. He carried me out of the building, and we left that place as fast as we could. ******************************************************************************** Despite my protesting, Mulder insisted on driving me to the hospital. As we waited for the doctor to come in, he never left my side once, and it was all I could do to convince him that none of this was his fault. Not an easy task, but then again, it never has been. The doctor came in then, dressed my wound, and gave me something to take for the pain, just a few tablets of Tylenol with codeine, to get me through the next couple of days. Mulder got up to leave the room to wait for me, but I reached for his hand. Looking me in the eye, he searched my face, before speaking softly. "Scully, why?" It was all the question he needed to ask, and my answer was just as simple. "Because I love you" There. I had said it. Looking at him, I saw his eyes shining, and knew without him saying that he loved me, too. So when he opened his mouth to speak I stopped him. "Mulder, shut up and kiss me." He grinned, then lowered his head. The kiss was gentle, and his mouth tasted sweet upon my own. He kissed me softly at first, then the kiss became much more passionate. Reluctantly, I pulled away. He looked at me for a moment, confused, then realized why. We were still standing in the hospital corridor, and had attracted quite and audience. I didn't care. I grabbed my partners hand, and we walked out of the hospital together. We held hands all the way back to Washington DC, and I marveled at how natural it felt. He was a part of me, and I was a part of him. As he pulled up in front of my apartment, and shut off the engine, all nervousness left me, and I looked at him. "Stay with me tonight", I said softly. He answered by kissing me again, and the world swirled around me. It was not due to stress or the medication, but that this man made me feel alive. He came around and helped me out of the car. Wrapping my arm around his shoulder, and sweeping me off of my feet. He carried me toward the door, still kissing me as he had on the sidewalk. I found amusing that he insisted on carrying me up the stairs, especially considering the fact that the bullet had merely grazed my shoulder, but I wasn't about to complain. Once he set my feet upon the floor, I looked into the depths of his hazel eyes, and knew that it was love that I saw there. Love that had grown over a period of time, but had always existed, from the moment we first met. This was the truth, the only truth there ever could be. Together, we had found the ability to stare into the face of evil, and together, our love had overcome it. Nothing could tear us apart ever again. I am more certain of that than ever. Taking his hand, I pulled him with me toward my bedroom. Again, as always, no words were necessary. This man was my entire life, and I was his. We made love tonight, and now there are no barriers between us any longer. I lay here now in the arms of the man who is my partner, my friend, and my lover, listening to his soft breathing, and it gently lulls me to sleep. But before I give into the dream, I feel a great peace. Knowing now that together we can overcome anything, and that Mulder loves me. Sighing contentedly, I wrap his arms tighter around me, and drift into sleep. There is no greater love than this. END