From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 26 Mar 2006 08:08:56 -0000
Subject: New No One Is To Blame (11/26) by ELLETHOM
Source: direct

Reply To: too_spooky_4u@yahoo.com


No One Is To Blame (11/26)
Headers in Previous Chapters


We were born before the wind
Are so younger than the sun
And the bonnie boat was one
As we sailed into the mystic
Hark now hear that sailors cry
Smell the sea, feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly
Into the mystic
	Van Morrison

	In any life there are crossroads, a point where one comes to 
the bifurcation and tells themselves definitively, "I will go this 
way, and I shall never have the chance to backtrack again."  We all 
know these moments when they advance upon us, some agonize over the 
decision, taking days to come to a final resolution, and some bound to
the first decision that feels good, or at least feels good at that 
moment.  Fox Mulder reached that point in his life for the third time
when he met Diana Frowley
	Fox Mulder met the leggy brunette while at Quantico, shortly 
after graduating with his Master's degree in Psychology.  Diana was 
everything that he had sought in a mate, she was smart, sexy and most
importantly she believed.  She helped him work through a lot of his 
past, she listened to him without prejudice, and she listened to him 
without interjecting any doubts or alternate theories.  But mostly, 
she listened to him.  And yet, there was still that part of him that 
refused to let her in completely.  Oh she had her long leg in the 
door, further than any other had gotten through; all save for 
particular red head.  Mulder trusted her, loved her and found himself
ready to plan a future with her.
	While working VCU, he stumbled upon a section of the 
Behavioral sciences department at the Bureau, so innocuous it was 
housed in the basement.  Diana was happy to spend her lunches with him
pouring over the unexplained files. He even let her call him Fox.  
She was there, pushing him forward to finding the truth, the truth 
about Sam, the truth about his past, and the truth about himself.  It
was her idea to proceed with a permanent assignment to these files, 
they approached their AD, proposal in hand, and ready for action.
	The FBI only relented on a temporary basis, and on the 
acceptance that Mulder's talents be at the ready whenever the FBI 
needed him for real investigations.  He readily agreed and they moved
into the basement.  They spent their days together, exploring the 
mysteries housed in the endless procession of unexplained cases in the
file cabinets, and they spent their nights exploring the endless 
mysteries of each other.  Diana understood his need to find the truth,
his sister had gone missing she knew the whole story about Samantha, 
yet she was in the dark when it came to the other part of his life.
	The truth about that hit her full in the face soon after they 
were married, he had not told her of all that had went on back in 
1980, and she never knew to ask.  It wasn't a shock that he kept 
something from her; Fox was a puzzle that always had the last piece 
missing.  It was however a shock to learn how deep those feelings in 
him still ran, how open the wound still was.  Diana Mulder had 
stumbled over a large box in the back of Fox's closet; she had gone 
over to his apartment to pack up the last of his belongings to move to
her place.  The thing about her husband was the fact that he liked to
put things off, especially things that required more back power than 
brain power.  It was one of the things about him that she had accepted
the day she took his name.
	She had left work before lunch, Fox seated at his desk, long 
legs propped up as he read over some case they would be off on in a 
few days.  In a lot of ways she doubted he even noticed she had left,
there were times when he was just this side of obsessed, but wasn't 
that part of his charm?  He was on a mission, and she wanted to be 
there every step of the way.  She had started in the kitchen, throwing
most of the things into the goodwill stack, too afraid of what had 
once grown on the dishes.  Finally she reached the bedroom, taking 
great care to pack his clothes and personal belongings so as to not 
forget one single thing.
	The last thing she got to was the closet, God it was a mess, 
clothes and books and papers flowed out of the space in droves, as if
themselves trying to escape the clutter of the area.  She began first
by pulling everything out of the closet and stacking it around the 
room.  She had not planned on sorting, but upon surveying the mess, 
she knew it was the only way to even start to make sense of the 
disaster.
	She idly spent hours learning little things about her new 
husband from the items she packed out of his closet.  She stopped long
enough to inhale deeply his rugby shirt that she was sure had not been
washed since making the flight over from Oxford, it still had his 
scent on it, claiming every thread in its soft worn fibers.
       The box in the back of the closet was one of those cardboard 
crate deals, and looked out of place in the man's closet; it looked as
something a woman had packed for him.  She carefully opened the top 
off of the box and began her rummage of the items.  The first thing 
that caught her attention was a photo of a very young Fox Mulder, 
seated on a porch swing holding a young girl with red hair.  They were
snuggled together closely, the person had stolen a picture of the two
as they slept together huddled against each other, and Diana smiled at
the looks upon their faces.  She traced the lines of the young man, so
happy and focused on this one girl, Diana could not remember a point 
where he had that look for her.
      The next item in the box was an envelope stuffed with ticket 
stubs, she examined the tickets long enough to discover they were all
for the same movie.  Ten pairs of tickets to see Star Wars, Diana 
assumed with the girl from the photo.  Again this was uncharacteristic
of her husband; he never saved anything sentimentally, except those 
damn files.  She placed the tickets back in the envelope and dug 
deeper.
      The raggedy Anne doll was a guess, she assumed it to be Sam's, 
but it seemed out of place here in this box, this seemed to be a 
lover's treasures, something you keep to remember someone.  The gold 
cross around the neck of the doll seemed out of place, not for the box
but for Fox, a staunch Atheist since she had met him.  She held the 
tiny cross and let it dangle from its thin chain, wondering the story
behind it.  She had also found in the box, his old high school jacket,
other pictures of a large family and he placed in the center of them. 
There were even pictures from his high school graduation with these 
people, all fawning over him in his cap and gown.
      The worst part of what she found though were the letters, 
apparently the girl from the photo had a name- Dana Scully, she wrote
to him often, shedding her heart out to her husband in words she would
never use to describe him.  This Dana Scully referred to him as 
Mulder, and spoke of endless summer days at the beach, dancing in the
moonlight and burning down his back yard.  She ranted and raved on 
about how much she missed him, and how much she loved him.  She told 
of long days without him, and lonely nights longing for him, of a 
family that really missed him, an older brother that wanted to settle
up on the basketball court, an older sister who needed his advice on 
guys, and a younger brother who was running wild without his crazy 
ideas of things to keep busy.  She even poked at him asking if he had
gone to Stonehenge and found any aliens.
      Even though it was past, Diana felt a pang of jealousy fill her
heart as she sat reading over the dozens of girlishly scripted 
letters.  Letters that ended abruptly after April of that year, 
letters that never picked up again the next school year.  She 
carefully replaced the letters back into the careful chronological 
order that she had found them in.  And as she was replacing the 
letters at the bottom of the box next to the dried roses and the 
ancient baby blue corsage, she found one last letter, though in a 
different script than before, somehow older and more mature; and the 
envelope in which it came held one more surprise, a tiny ring with 
three diamonds across and two sapphires between them.
      She actually cried as she read the words penned to the young boy
from the photo.
      
      Mulder,
      
      I need to return this to you; I have sent it along with a few 
other things I no longer have any use for.  I hope they reach you at 
the correct address, my mother swears this is where you reside now..
      I wanted-needed you to know that I do not blame you Mulder; I 
know that this had nothing to do with your quest, but you have to 
understand, you embody a sense of lack of control for me, and I can no
longer afford to be without a clear mind and a rational head.  What 
went on between us that Spring, well let's just move on from it, and 
go on in our own paths, ok?
      My mother sent me your letter, and I am very happy for you, 
though I am sorry I will not be available to attend the ceremony I 
hope she gives you the happiness's you need in life, and I hope she is
as dedicated to your quest as you need her to be.  I am sending you 
back this ring now Mulder, please give it to her, and offer her the 
same appeal that you once offered to me upon its delivery; it was a 
very moving and touching gift.
      In our lives, we have roads, just like that Robert Frost poem 
you taught to me years ago, two roads diverged in a yellow wood...and
I took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference.  
Take the one less traveled Mulder, give her everything, Show her all 
of your mysteries, don't hold it all in and blame yourself for every 
little thing that goes wrong.  Our roads were just at a crossing, and
though we both wanted more, fate had other plans for our lives, so 
that they were never to run that parallel path we both longed for.  
Don't hold that against yourself Mulder, don't let your quests consume
you, learn to let some things go, learn to love and be loved again.
      Yours,
      Scully
      
	Diana was blubbering like a fool by the time Fox arrived into 
his old bedroom. "So you found it huh?" he asked taking the last note
out of her hands and replacing it into the box with the other things.
      "Why didn't you ever tell me about her Fox?" she asked wiping 
tears away with her handkerchief.
      "Nothing to tell," he dismissed placing the lid back on the top
of the box and carting it out into the living room. "She was my first
real love Diana, everyone has that, it's the same old story, boy meets
girl, girl dumps boy yadda yadda yadda. "He smiled at his use of one 
of Scully's favorite sayings.
      "But there was so much love there Fox, then that last letter...'
she sniffed not sure why this mattered.
      "Yeah well," he finished clearing the lump in his throat, "So 
what do we do about dinner?"
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                                                      
                                            xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxx       
And when that fog horn blows
I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows
I wanna hear it; I don't have to fear it
And I wanna rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float
Into the mystic
      Van Morrison 
      
      Dana Scully had formed a hell of a reputation, not necessarily 
the kind she would be happy to put onto her resume, but the kind that
she was proud of none the less.  No one got through her line of 
defenses, no one.
      Many tried; there had even been one poor unfortunate soul who 
stood under her dorm window serenading her, only to find himself 
drenched in cheap perfume.  One had sent her flowers and candy on 
Valentine's Day, only to discover his gifts on display atop the 
cadavers in anatomy lab the next day.
      She made her point clear, and all through medical school they 
all got it, stay away from the Ice Queen, or she will make you regret
it.
      She had so carefully constructed her rigid self control, had so
cautiously built up those walls of snow and protection, that when 
Daniel Waterston came along with his ice pick, she was a little 
dumbfounded.  It was his maturity and absolute dissemblance to Fox 
Mulder that drew her to him.  He was order, he was structure, he was 
control, and yet in all of this she found a willingness to lose 
control all over again.  Daniel was married, and that alone was not 
only a sin against her faith, but a sin against her nature.
      She found that if she did not leave the situation, she would end
up ruining a marriage just to make herself happy.  Just as those two 
roads were converging, and Dana agonized over which road to follow, 
she found herself falling into a fugue, a longing for something more 
out of life than what she had chosen.  She began to wonder for what 
might have been, what if the baby had not gone missing, where would 
she and Mulder be right now?  She had begun to see the road again, 
only there were more forks in it than a Denny's restaurant.
      She had received his letter to her from her mother, he had told
of how he missed her, and still loved her.  He apologized again for 
what happened that spring, wishing things could have come out 
differently.  Then he in soft words and softer penmanship told her of
his impending nuptials, how he wished for her to attend as an honored
guest.  She was surprised at how much his marriage affected her, how 
much she had wished to be the one walking down the aisle with him, 
remembering the thwarted proposal he had tried to utter to her so many
years ago when they were both too young to know any better.
	She was locked into bitter combat with herself, as she allowed 
Daniel into her heart, and into her bed, she fought with the idea of 
where she truly belonged, finding it hard to fathom her place beneath
the well respected, albeit adulterous Dr. Daniel Waterston.  She began
to realize the things that were egging in her mind were things that 
she had never found closure to.  Mulder, the baby, the life she never
got to see. These things raged inside her head almost constantly 
screaming at her for resolution.  She was prepared to go on in her 
life, dealing with the voice in her soul and putting it aside-until 
the day she left her residency, the second day of her OB rotation.
	Daniel had lead them around on rounds, pointing out this and 
that and asking his endless rapid fire questions.  She used to love to
be teachers pet here, showing off her vast knowledge and skill and 
showing up the mostly male students.  Daniel made a point to ask her 
the particularly hard questions, just so that no one could figure out
they were involved, and she in turn had to be better than the rest, 
had to be one hundred and ten percent at all times, at all costs.
	She had entered the small labor room expecting to see the 
usual, expecting to find an expectant couple waiting for their child 
to come into the world.  What she found so shook her and brought back
so many painful memories that she could no longer be the same person 
she had carefully constructed for so long, the contents of that room 
and its events held answers to the questions that had begun to stack 
up in her mind over the last two years.
	The girl could not have been more than fifteen years old, red 
hair plastered against the pillow of her bed as she twisted and turned
in sheer agony.  She was alone in the room, no one there with her to 
hold her hand and wipe away her tears. "I'm Dr. Scully,' Dana 
announced to the young girl, "How are you feeling?"
	"It hurts," the girl whimpered, "It hurts so bad, make it 
stop..."
	"Is there anyone here with you?  Can I call someone?" The girl 
did not answer merely slumped back into the bed after the contraction
ended, panting and crying.  Dana stayed with the girl, forsaking her 
other patients, she stayed with her as she pushed and pushed and 
labored under the duress that her too young body was not prepared
for. 	It was hours that the young girl-Stephanie Moore form her 
records, lay in agony.  As Dana delivered her the small baby to her 
the young girl's face brightened, she held out her young pale arms to
hold onto her prize, and why not she had earned it, had made it 
through labor and had so quickly forgot the pain and anguish.  That 
was life in a nutshell.
	"You have been here the whole time?  Dr. Scully we have needed 
your assistance elsewhere..." Daniel raged, hands thrust deep into his
lab coat pockets. "You can't tell me you have sat in here with this 
one all day?  That's a nurse's job."
	 "I'm outta here Daniel, "she clipped evenly, taking off her 
stiff white coat and thrusting it at the surprised man.  Scully exited
the labor room, brushed past the still bitching Dr. Waterston, and 
kept walking.
	She never looked back.

(12/26)	

What do you do when its falling apart
When you knew it was gone from the very start
When you close your eyes, do you dream about me?
A girl in love with a gleam in her eye
I was a younger boy all dressed in white
Were older now, but do you still dream about me?
	Night Ranger

	Fox Mulder sat in is basement office, no longer a partner, and 
now flying solo.  He had to give her credit, she hung on longer than 
most would have expected, himself included.  She probably would still
be there, checking his flight plans, typing up his reports and 
shelving his files had he not sent her away, divorce papers in hand. 
She probably would still be there if she had not insisted on going 
behind his back and checking things out, poking her elegant nose where
it did not belong, making deals with Satan when he wasn't looking.
    Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not all out to
get you.
    It had all started the day they had to go to Quantico to get 
autopsy results on a victim, the day they strolled the halls of their
first meeting, enthralled in the joys of being together, working 
together, living together.  They could not get enough of it, at least
until the past jumped up and bit them both squarely on the ass.
	He saw her first, as they came around the corner of the 
medical wing of Quantico, having some inane married couple discussion
like who was going to pick up the dry cleaning, or which one left the
cap off of the tooth paste.  She laughed at one of his 
characteristically wry jokes, and as they turned the corner, the short
redhead came into full view. She stood staring at Mulder, no words 
coming from her mouth, but one could see she was not surprised to see
him there.
    "Agent Mulder," it came out all saccharine and smiles.  And for an
instant, the woman standing in front of him was sixteen years old, 
smiling up at him, the building melted into a beach, and he had to 
suppress the urge to grab her hand and dash off into the waves.
	Mulder did not reply, merely allowed some stupid guttural 
sound to emit from his mouth, which hung open as if waiting for the 
proverbial fly to come and land.  He had not laid eyes upon Dana 
Scully in eleven years; it was all he could do to remember the rings 
around his finger.
    "Agent Scully," he choked after a time, too long a time.
	"Not quite yet sir," she offered. "But I will graduate soon." 
She walked away from him leaving Mulder to gawk after her.
	"So, that is the infamous Dana Scully," Diana huffed not sure 
what she should say.
	"Leave it alone Diana," Mulder warned the brunette next to 
him.
	"I would have thought she would Be taller." She smirked 
glaring at her husband. "Or at least a little thinner"
	Mulder chose to ignore her further prodding, instead allowing 
memories of the best two years of his life to come flooding in.  She 
was here, in the Bureau, he had so many questions, needed to know what
she was doing there.  He had maintained a sort of friendship with 
Maggie Scully; she had insisted that he not disappear from her life. 
None of the other Scully children knew of what had happened, only that
the car crash dispute led to the eventual break up of the two teens. 
Mr. Scully never quite forgave him, but Maggie Scully's love knew no 
bounds.
	She had kept him apprised of Dana's progress, her milestones, 
and had even been the one to prod him into sending Dana the letter.  
She knew his marriage to Diana would never last, but had sent her gift
and best wishes along none the less.  She never liked the way things 
had ended between the two; they had endured the grief both of them 
separately and alone, rather than clinging to each other in the shared
knowledge of what they had survived.
	Diana took it upon herself to begin a campaign to dig up what 
ever she could about this tiny woman that Mulder found himself 
rendered speechless around.  She had learned most of the story, and 
when she got to the unofficial medical records of Dana Scully, she 
thought she had it all figured out.  Dana had a miscarriage right 
around the time the letters had stopped; it was not a far stretch of 
the imagination to figure out what had happened.
	Mulder had no idea of her prodding, ever since their 
accidental meeting with the young woman, Mulder had become much as how
she had first found him, quiet, reserved, withdrawn, more and more he
worked late, as if driving himself harder would work her out of his 
system.  In truth, seeing Scully reminded Mulder of why he was there 
in the basement, searching for answers for Samantha, searching for 
answers for Scully.
	What Diana Mulder could not wrap her brain around, was the 
fact that Fox William Mulder still loved this woman, more than life 
itself.  Oh she knew how it went with first love, you never quite get
over it, and the more harrowing the break up, the more the love tends
to dangle in the air with all the still unspoken words left between 
two lovers.  She only had half the story, and armed with that half 
truth was not armed at all.  Some part of her drove home the idea that
there was more to this, that these two kept distance for far more than
just an unplanned and unfinished pregnancy.  What she did not get that
her own husband would happily have given up every file in that cramped
stuffy little office just to have Dana by his side, just to have her 
near him again.
	Diana, having hit a brick wall both with her husband and the 
paper trail turned to the only person she knew who had answers to 
questions that no one would ever think to ask, the only person with 
access to every question that ever could be asked.  She made her 
contact and went to see the man with the cigarette fetish, went to go
strike a deal with the devil.

Xxxx

I guess I don't know what I'm thinking
Come off a hard night of drinking
And you come closer to me
I need a soul to bleed on
It could have been done in a different kinda way
But that ain't you; you play tough when you play
It's over now; I bet you still think about me
	Night ranger


	Damn that felt good. She smirked as she walked off from the 
happy couple.  He had no idea she had left medical school to join the
FBI, he just stood there with those beautiful hazel eyes dripping and
searching her frame.  She had felt those eyes on her, had reached into
his soul and spoke to him in the way they once did as children.  She 
knew the bond was still there, and she knew he felt it too.  Dana knew
all that calm cool control would come in handy from here on out, if 
she and Mulder were to ever have to work the same case for any reason,
she would have to be all professionalism and pretend that they had 
only known each other professionally.  She knew she could handle him 
in small doses; little bites of Mulder would not affect her in any 
great huge way.  Anything more and she knew she could not be held 
responsible for her actions-blood could spill.
	She had joined the FBI a month after leaving Dr. Waterston 
gaping after her, they were happy to jump through any hoop to have the
well trained doctor come and be one of their best and brightest.  She
relished in the attention, and reveled in the wooing, not telling them
that she did not need too much arm twisting to come to work there, it
just seemed like the best place to start once she began to want 
answers to the questions that Stephanie Moore's small body and brave 
fight had awakened in her.
	Dana Scully excelled in her courses at Quantico, just as she 
had in everything.  She loved the feeling of her side arm at her hip,
finding that in an odd sort of way it reminded her of being pregnant,
that added solid weight hanging off of part of her body, so present, 
so there.  She was tough, for her size or anyone else's size, nothing
stopped her, and nothing made this tiny powder keg flinch.  The men in
training all wanted to go up against her, wanting to prove that this 
female could be bested by their brute strength, and it was always that
brute self conceit that she capitalized upon, taking them down time 
after time.
	She enjoyed turning the guys to complete jelly, but only on 
the battlefield, she still never dated, Daniel having been too close 
for her comfort, and Mulder...well that was another subject 
altogether.
	She never considered herself lonely, she enjoyed her solitude, 
too many people knowing too much about her made Dana nervous, and she
found it safer that she kept a healthy distance from everyone else, 
especially the males.
	Dana spent her weekends either studying rules and regulations, 
or at the firing range.  She had little time for anything that did not
involve improving her chances at the FBI, ambition and drive became 
her best friends.  She had started to see the light at the end of the
tunnel, revenge would be so sweet.
	Dana Scully was on a mission herself, and though she did not 
realize her method of operation, soon after completing her training at
Quantico, it was made clear to her.  She had planned on proving Mulder
a fraud; she had planned on somehow bringing him down a few notches 
off of his high and mighty windmill.  Dana Scully was not sure how to
accomplish this, she knew her scientific background was a good start,
and having heard all the stories about Spooky and the basement 
infuriated her further into her plans.  What she did not know was that
she was not alone in her quest, and that an old acquaintance would 
elicit her help surreptitiously-they both had the same desired 
outcome, though for differing reasons.

Xxxxxx


	She had betrayed him, asking questions of his past to his 
sworn enemy, and making silent deals that were revealed to him in 
secret an anonymous memo.  Diana had sought answers to questions that
he was not ready to give her, in time maybe he would have opened up to
her; but the chance had been made for him when she appeared at the 
office armed with a past he did not want unburied.
	"Fox," she began shakily, "Why can't you trust me?"
	He pushed her into the desk chair, hard.  Not wanting to have 
this conversation but knowing it was time. "What did you do Diana?" he
demanded, hands gripping the arm rests of the chair she reclined in.
	She stared into the eyes of the man she loved, his once 
twinkling, playful eyes burned with fire, and the flame thrower was 
aimed pointedly at her. "How could you?" she asked trying to show how
upset she herself felt.
	"People." He began in such an evened brusque tone, that she 
flinched. "Who live in glass houses should not throw stones.  Now, 
what did you do?"
	Diana Mulder would look back on this day often cringing at the 
memory of it; this was the first and only time she was ever truly 
afraid of Fox.  He had a dark side everyone in the Hoover building 
knew it, but she knew only his gentleness, his sweet reverie.  Here, 
as he towered over her seated form interrogating her to the nature of
her betrayal, Diana honestly felt afraid. "I wanted to know, to know 
what had gone on,"
	"You had no right Diana, you had no right to go and do this, 
things were fine between us, we could have gone on like this..."he 
gestured around the small office.
	"He says he can get you your baby, says he knows who has it. " 
She blubbered.
	Fox Mulder stopped everything breathing, seeing, thinking, 
fuming, for ten seconds even his heart froze, for ten seconds he did 
absolutely nothing, "And you believed him? How much did it cost you 
Diana?  How much of your soul did you pay for whatever lies he had to
spill?"
	She did not answer, rather stared up at him with plaintive 
eyes, pleading him for his forgiveness. "Fox, I did for you, for us, 
we can raise"
	Mulder picked up the desk caddy and sent it into orbit around 
the office.  He yelled, primal and without a care if it rattled the 
very foundations of the Hoover building. "Get out!" he roared
	She grabbed her things off the hook, and stormed out of the 
office for the last time.
       He had gone at his lunch break to a lawyer and filed for 
divorce, as if he needed much more of a reason once he had seen 
Scully.  Seeing her had driven back into the forefront all the old 
feelings and pains.  Why had she come here, to torment him, to rub his
nose in it like a bad boy?  He had to admit to himself how wonderful 
it had been to be so close to her again, he had even quietly sat in on
her graduation form Quantico.  He smiled as he watched her accept her
certificate, so proud he thought his chest would explode.
	He sat in his office only a few months after the finalization 
of his divorce, having moved out of their apartment and finding his 
own digs in Georgetown.  Diana had begged him to rethink this, and he
had found himself almost wanting to, he loved her in his way, and the
prospect of being alone for the rest of his life was a scary one.  
But she was beyond forgiving, and he had accepted this.
        He had a routine, and he smiled at the thought of having won 
the X-Files in the divorce, she had left the Bureau anyway, not being
able to even face him after what she had done.  He had wanted a clean
break from Diana, trust was everything to him, if he could not trust 
her, then he had no use for her.
	There had been talk of sending him a new partner, but Mulder 
knew it was just to have someone looking over his shoulder, someone to
send little notes and reports back up the food chain to keep a tally 
on what he was up to down there.  He neither wanted nor needed a 
partner, he hated the idea of having to train and break in some green
cadet with no idea of anything other than which shops gave free coffee
and donuts to law enforcement.
	He silently hoped it would be someone who would believe.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
	
I remember when you learned about love
In the back of a Chevrolet
No good for an old memory
To mean so much today
When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me?
When you close your eyes 
Do you dream about me?
I bet you still dream about me
	Night Ranger

	"Yes Sir," she lied to the room full of bureaucrats, "I am 
familiar with his work, he had sort of a reputation at Quantico.  
They called him Spooky..." oh yeah, I'll play your game you little 
buttoned down bastards, just let me at 'em, I'll debunk him so far I 
am sure I can even prove he stole the Limburg baby.
	Unknown to her, while Blevins seemed to have a short memory, 
there was one man present who knew of her, remembered a tiny 
frightened wisp of a girl who stood at the bedside of the Spooky one,
waiting desperately for him to wake up..  She had seen his face before
but could not place his features due to his love of hanging in the 
shadows.
	The man idly watched the proceedings, he did not doubt her 
skepticism, nor her abilities, knowing well that a woman scorned is 
hell on heels; he did not doubt she could remain objective, perhaps 
even being the most objective person to send down into the basement. 
Fox Mulder was a handsome man, capable of turning his charms onto 
women and having them follow him into things they normally would not. 
The man had watched him charm his way with women, often using his good
looks to gain access into places he should not have gotten into.  
Here was the one woman who had seen the dog and pony show he had to 
offer, here was the one woman who would be impervious to his charms, 
and she had proven herself impervious for the past twelve years.
	He needed someone to keep Mulder out of the way, someone that 
would report back to him on exactly what he was up to down there, how
close he was to the truth.  Mulder's drive at the absurd caused one 
too many problems for him, and though he was not the kind of man to 
keep a promise to anyone, Mulder's life was guaranteed due to means 
above and beyond his control.  Even he had people to answer to.  The 
man in the corner bit back the urge to smoke a cigarette, no reason to
give her all of the knowledge all at once.  He smiled as she rose to 
go down and meet her new partner.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I remember when I held you so tight 
And we danced the night away
When the moon hits this wide eyed kid
I need you so much today
When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me?
When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me?
	Night Ranger

	He was dumbfounded, they had told him who his partner would be 
just four hours before she stormed his office, and he used those hours
to peruse her file for the millionth time.  She was more than capable
to aid in the investigations down here, and more than qualified to be
in the passenger's seat as they searched for the truth.
	But Dana Scully was not a believer, Dana Scully was as much of 
a skeptic as you were going to find.  This begged a question, why are
they sending her down here?  His rational mind assured himself that 
she was sent for her scientific background; a degree in Physics, and 
three years of medical school was nothing to sneeze at.  But his 
rational mind only covered ten percent of his cognitive thought 
processes, his rational mind rarely if ever took the driver's seat and
followed directions, his paranoia ran too deep.
	He tried to pretend to be busy as he heard her even heel 
clicks ticking down the dark lonely hallway, feeling his heart rate 
increase with every tick.  He had already decided how to play this 
one, and he knew she would act the same way.
	"No one down here but the FBI's most unwanted..." he offered 
to the knock at the door, trying yet again to impress that young girl
that used to fall asleep so gently in the crook of his arm...
	"Hello Agent Mulder," she purred. "I was sent down here, I am 
your new partner." She knew he knew, he knew she knew, and yet the 
dance went on.  She smiled at seeing him in his glasses; they had been
a constant when he was a teenager, and a definite turn on in the adult
version.
	"Oh, how nice to suddenly be so highly regarded."Damn she 
looked good.
	"Actually, Agent Mulder, I look forward to working with you." 
She wasn't lying; it would be fun to torment him for the next few 
months as she debunked his life's work, took away from him the thing 
he clung to so reverently.  She noted silently the lack of wedding 
rings on his finger now realizing that he had a failed marriage under
his belt.
	"That's funny" he smiled smugly, "I was under the impression 
you were sent down here to spy on me." He flashed her a smile that 
could only mean come out and play.
	She gave him back a 'you have got to be kidding me' smirk, 
before coming to wander around the office that she was to share with 
Fox Mulder, breaker of falls.  She smiled at the poster that hung 
behind his shaggy brown head, wondering if it was the same one from 
his room from so long ago; a small nod from him assured her it was.  
The office on a whole was a mess, and she could not help but be 
reminded of the first time she walked into the boy's room fourteen 
years ago.
	His little boy ardor surfaced as he rushed her off to the 
wilds of Oregon, and while neither one of them brought up the past, it
hung in the air like jello, thick and congealed and waiting to be 
jiggled.  He tried to beguile her with his wit and seemingly endless 
rolls of useless knowledge.  She ignored him as much as she could, yet
found herself smiling at his antics more than once.  The plane ride 
was a long one, and she dismissed her relinquishments to his humor as
simple flight anxiety, Dana Scully truly disliked flying.
	The case was a bust, and other than running into his motel 
room in a panic, the only memorable thing was Mulder swearing to have
seen things that he could not back up, as usual.  They talked in the 
motel room, he once again told her of his missing sister, as if she 
didn't know, but for some reason the two felt a need to start at 
square one, to not acknowledge their past together, yet it was the 
reason she felt safe enough to rush to his room in nothing more than a
robe in the first place.  She knew he would protect her, even with all
the distance and time, he was her constant, and she his.
	This was going to be a long assignment she mused.

(13/26)

I'm not sure of anyone
Anyone
But I've got plans
I'm not asking for everything
But sure I could use a hand
Get a little anxious sometimes
You'll be gone and I'll be left behind
Get a little nervous sometimes
It'll be my cue and I'll forget my lines
Get a little lost look
As I'm staring from the corner of my eye
Never really mastered disinterest
	Dashboard Confessional

	The months came and went; Scully found that while she was not 
wide-eyed and completely enthralled with Fox Mulder she had to admit,
she was impressed.  He knew his stuff, he knew what he knew and he 
knew it well.  Every now and again, as they sat in their office, 
Mulder would throw her a look, the very same from the beach from so 
long ago, the same look that lead her down the path she walked now.  
She would ignore it, often taking the first opportunity to leave for a
time, until her breath would catch in her chest and she would break 
down in the silent solitude of the stall in the ladies room.
	He still got to her, and she could not put off her feelings 
forever, even the toughest armor eventually could be breached.  
Eventually.
	Dana Scully began to fear for her career that first year, it 
wasn't the snickers she got as her heels chipped through the Bull pen,
or the fact that the entire Hoover Building had begun to refer to her
as Mrs. Spooky.  No none of these things affected her it was the 
things that Mulder had began to drag out in front of her-things that 
shook her scientific foundation to its very pragmatic core.  She 
prided herself on her insistence on facts and figures, evidence that 
was tangible and could be seen.  Yet, in that first year he had shown
her a side of reality that she could have otherwise done without 
knowing about, giant fluke worms, murderous cloned twins, and not to 
mention their impromptu trip off to Puerto Rico.
	Her mother had found the whole thing funny, no hysterical.  
Maggie would often call her at her office just to hear Mulder answer 
the phone, swearing she called just to ask her daughter some innocuous
question.  Scully knew better, Scully realized that somewhere in the 
back of her mother's completely bland conversations lurked a 
matchmaker and her mother could be so relentless.
	There were times she found she had to remind herself why she 
was there, her mission was simple, send back her messages to Blevins 
and make sure they were all kept apprised of what was really going on
in the basement of the Hoover building.  She smiled at his jokes, and
dodged his innuendos yet she could not run from the inescapable, she 
was starting to understand why he was here, if not agree with it, she
knew she would never see things his way.  She found him to be so 
driven and sure of himself, she remembered back to a day she had 
wished he would find confidence in himself, his confidence was here, 
in the files in this dingy office.  Fox Mulder was sure of one thing-
his quest for the truth, and Dana Scully was not sure she could be 
responsible for taking that away from him.
	He was there for her when Ahab died; he held her close as the 
facade cracked into tiny pieces.  It felt so good to be so close to 
him; reminding her of a past she had done all she could to put 
distance between.  He didn't speak, he didn't want to, his grief was 
so pungent, as they stood together in the doorway of his apartment; 
she leaned into him trying to draw that strength again, but finding 
the well empty.
	No one had an issue with him attending the funeral, and he 
cried there as the rain fell, behind everyone else and 
characteristically out of sight, he cried unabashedly and unashamed of
the tears he shed for a man who had been more of a father to him than
he had ever had the pleasure to know.  Dana eyed his tears with a 
mixture of emotions; she never once doubted the honesty of his sadness
at the passing of her father.  Bill Scully had been there for Mulder 
when he needed a male role model, what she doubted however was the 
scope of Mulder's knowledge as to how the loss of his first grandchild
really affected her father.
	
	But what she could not face, not even to herself, was her 
mysterious disappearance for three months.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      When AD Walter Skinner found himself over the two agents that 
resided in the X-Files, it wasn't until he saw the two names side by 
side that he put it together.  He had heard stories of the two of them
separately, yet it was not until one of their reports passed his desk,
with both signatures at the bottom of the contradictory report that he
realized he knew these two.
	The shocked look on his face surprised his secretary as he 
read and re read the report that had made its way to his desk; it was
like sitting in on that interrogation from years ago.  Mulder 
believed, and Scully doubted.  He grinned that some things were loathe
to never change, and he wondered if these two were still together, if
they had any idea the affect their love for each other from so long 
ago had on him.
	Shortly after leaving the two of them back in 1980, he finally 
married his long time girlfriend, craving the kind of love that he had
witnessed in these two. It was their love for each other that made him
believe in love itself, after having seen so much horror and gruesome
behavior in Vietnam, he wasn't sure that he could see loving one 
person for an eternity- until nineteen year old boy sat across from 
him agonizing over a tiny red head.  He knew that he would have to 
have a meeting with them a meet and greet with these two agents from 
his newly acquired division.  He made the phone call and requested 
their presence
      Their first meeting with the new AD over their division was a 
shock for all three adults seated in the office.  Scully made herself
overly interested in her new shade of nail polish as Mulder shifted 
around and had a sudden need to look down at his brown g-shoes, 
splitting his time between wise cracks and flashbacks of a dirty dingy
interrogation room on the east coast.  They both felt as if they had 
been called into the principal's office.
	"Agents" Skinner began, not sure how to broach this one, but 
having decided to keep it professional and contemporary-for now. "I 
expect nothing but professionalism from my subordinates.."
	"Mindless drones Sir?" Mulder offered, reminding Skinner of 
the young boy with the smart mouth.
	Skinner drew across the desk a little further, "Yes Agent 
Mulder," he sang in a voice he usually reserved for kindergarteners. 
"Mindless drones."  The rest of that first meeting went on pretty much
the same, Skinner attempting to lay down the law, and Mulder 
interjecting his, though witty, less than necessary attempts at humor.
  Agent Scully viewed the whole meeting with an eyebrow twitching at 
almost everything Mulder would say.  Skinner kept waiting for her to 
lean over and swat the back of his head.
	Skinner knew the two of them were going to require a lot of 
adult supervision, and reminded himself to keep an extra bottle of 
Tylenol in his desk drawer-just in case.


Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I can't see how
The way that you leave me hollow
Makes us close
I must be out of touch
I won't ask you
To give up on the things that seem 
to keep you gone
But I could be gone too
Feel a little sorry sometimes
You're not here when I am writing
Feels a little awkward sometimes
You won't talk but we're not fighting
You hold on to your secrets
And I'm not privy to what is on your mind
But I can't help but feel tired
	Dashboard Confessional

	She was gone, he had lost her again, only this time it wasn't 
because of anything he did, this time it was what he didn't do.  All 
that was left of her was her gold cross and a frantically elongated 
message on his answering machine.
	He needed her; in the few months they had been together he had 
found her vast knowledge more than helpful, it was an absolute 
necessity to have around.  She was the soft voice of reason in his 
ear, a conscious that he never knew he needed.  Diana had agreed with
everything he did, she never questioned any of his crazy theories or 
offered any other explanations that could not have come out of his own
mouth.  Diana was the eternal yes man.
	Scully was different.
	Mulder had come to not only find Scully irreplaceable, but 
completely beyond reproach, she offered him a glimpse into that life 
he had always wondered about, and their time together in the basement
would remind him of a form of marriage.  He would sit at his desk as 
she ranted and raved and he would muse to himself that this would have
been what it would be like if she had only said yes on the beach.
	Maybe.
	Maybe instead of arguing about the possibilities of aliens and 
conspiracies, they could have been in a four bedroom two bath colonial
arguing over mortgages and groundings.  She would have been a great 
mom, he mused more than once that first year.  She takes such good 
care of things.
	But they were careful; they were so cautious and took such 
care to not tread around old wounds that were not healed for either of
them.  She would often look at him and catch a look across her face 
that spoke of the past, and he catching that glare would smile and 
offer some cheap innuendo.  They had a routine, and though his 
psychological mind knew repression was a bad thing, he also knew it 
worked for them, and gave them a way to deal with the pain that seeing
each other every day dredged out.
	And yet that pain was what drove them harder every day, forced 
them into finding answers to questions, he needed to know, and Scully
was more than along for the ride-in a lot of unspoken ways, she was 
the reason for the drive.
	Her disappearance rendered him physically ill; they had pulled 
them off of the x-files, separating them to opposite ends of the FBI. 
Even passing in the halls of the Hoover building had become a 
dangerous liaison Mulder had found that their search, though never 
openly discussed to be for their baby, had become the only reason for
them to be in that office.  He ranted about searching for Samantha, 
and she nodded and agreed and succumbed, but they both knew why they 
were there, yet Samantha was the only name that could be uttered, the
other had no name.
	In all that time he never challenged her honesty or integrity, 
Dana Scully was the one person he could trust, the one person who was
there.  Mulder had no idea of how loathe Scully had found him so 
often, how she still blamed him for the losses they had shared.  . 
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	 Mulder was allowed back downstairs, ironically after they had 
silenced half of the team that once resided there; he went on, poking
through files and searching for something that would lead him to them.
  He stalked the halls of the basement and his apartment as a ghost, a
man simply there going through the motions of life.
	He had sex with the vampire just to feel, to try and see if he 
could still feel.  She was nothing to him, nothing more than a 
tortured soul like himself who needed another human being to feel 
against them.  They sought proof, proof of life, proof of existence, 
and Mulder for a second in the eyes of this girl was reminded of 
Phoebe, and how she had showed up in his office, taunting Scully as if
daring her to react.  For
	Scully, reacted only neither one of them could tell.  Scully 
found herself full of emotions that she could neither qualify nor 
quantify.  Seeing Mulder with Phoebe Green erupted an entire shelf of
feelings she was not ready to deal with.  Scully tried to play friend,
though she never lost her motivation to destroy Mulder, and his antics
with Phoebe further fed that drive.
	Mulder wondered every minute of every day where she was, if 
she was safe and unharmed.  He agonized over catching Duane Barry, but
not before the spaceship had taken off with his partner.  AS if she 
would ever believe she had been abducted by a spaceship, explain away
this one Scully, he mused often wondering if he would ever get the 
chance to poke her and say 'I told you so."
	When he found her in that hospital, barely clinging to life 
and struggling to hold on, he almost broke into a million pieces right
there.  She was unresponsive and close to death.  HE had been ready to
deal with the Devil himself just to get her well again, and in that 
instance he understood why Diana did what she did, and yet had he not
traded Samantha for her?  Even a clone copy would have been fine, but
why did he give her up for Scully?
	He sat by her bedside as she allowed the machines to live for 
her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	There was very little of anything that Dana Scully was aware 
of ass she sat =in the boat adrift in the river of her mind.  She 
wondered if this was truly it, if the life path that she had chosen 
had led to this one solitary moment where she could shirk off the 
mortal coil and seek the higher plain.  Her father guided her back to
the physical, told her that her work was not over.  He offered 
forgiveness' and reassured her of his pride in her accomplishments.
	He also assured her that her baby was still alive, somewhere.


(14/26)


      And I could have done so many things baby
      If I could only stop my mind
      From wondering what I left behind
      And from worrying about this wasted time
      You know love has come and gone
      And the years keep rushing on
      I remember what you told me
      Last time you went out on your own
      Sometimes to keep it together
      You got to leave it alone
      So you can get on with your search baby
      And I can get on with mine
      And maybe someday we will find
      That it wasn't really wasted time.
      	The Eagles
      
      The game had started innocently enough, the second year after 
finding herself in the basement office, long after her return from the
great beyond, long after she aimed her weapon and fired on her
partner 	It did feel good to shoot him, even though it wasn't fatal.
	It was soon after Missy was killed, in her apartment where her 
sister had been found, Scully had began to find a desire to bring some
things out into the light of day.  The chickens needed to come home to
roost.
	Dana had realized how close she was to losing the only 
tangible connection she had left of her baby, the only person that was
there for both its loss, and its conception.  He was in the habit of 
ditching her, Mulder was adept at disappearing acts, and turning up in
a mess of trouble that she had to drag him out of.  He was missing for
over a week, and though in some small way she found a sense of smug 
humor in it, she found it made her face things in the mirror.  Damn 
history repeating and it didn't help that Mulder had barely matured 
any since then.  He still liked to piss people off, and had a natural
propensity for sticking his nose into things that got him shot at.
	They had been sitting in the office, throwing looks back and 
forth across the room, a common affect over the long afternoons that 
found them cooped up together in the cramped room.  Mulder had often 
marveled on how an entire paper could be written on the level of 
repression and suppression that went on in their lives on a daily 
basis.  He wanted so badly to talk to her about it, but after two and
a half years together, he was wan to run the risk of losing her in the
office.  So when she initiated an exchange on the forbidden, he had a
reaction akin to getting the psychological wind knocked out of him.
	"Mulder," she began from her vantage point across the desk, 
hanging over the file cabinet that she would not have reached the top
of without her heels.  She idly thumbed through a file about alien 
abductions, reminding her of what she had possibly lived through.
	He returned her utterance of his name with an expectant glare; 
he sat waiting for some completely innocent discussion of where to 
have lunch, or how long before their next meeting with Skinner.
	"You ever think about what she would have been..." She trailed 
off as if suddenly realizing what she had said.
	"All the time Scully," he returned, tears forming in his eyes.
	"Sometimes Mulder,' she went on, looking off into space, not 
wishing to meet his stare. "Sometimes I wonder what if, who would I be
right now Mulder?  Would I still be here, or would I be one of those 
soccer moms driving a mini van and yelling at my obnoxiously immature
husband."
	Mulder, taken aback at her sudden delve into the existential, 
took a few extra seconds to respond. "Is that a proposal Scully?" he 
asked with a grin trying to evade where the conversation was leading 
off to.
	She raised her head to the drop ceiling, sighing heavily and 
rubbing her temples out of sheer exaggeration. "Mulder, we have evaded
this discussion for too long, why can't we ever mention her?" Scully 
had hit a brick wall; losing Missy had put her into such a state as to
at least this one night, hash things out.
	Mulder leaned back into his desk chair, hands folded over his 
lap, he had needed this as much as she did, but yet the wounds had not
quite healed. "Scully, we know why the two of us are down here, we 
know why they drag us out of this office every time we get too close 
to answers that both of us are searching for." He leaned his head back
and placed two fingers into the corners of his hazel eyes. "If 
anything Scully, you would have to say that losing him has pushed us 
both over the edge.  I never wanted this for your life, for mine 
either for that matter.  I had a lot of time to deal with the facts of
my life, my obsessions.  Maybe you should walk away now before it 
consumes you the way it's dragged me under."
	"Oh how very much a martyr you are..." she fumed throwing his 
own words back into his face. "You think every day I don't consider 
walking outta here and never looking back?  You don't think that I 
would love to go back and take the road more traveled Mulder?  It's 
hard as hell to be in here every day, pretending that she never 
happened.  Hell, even Skinner is in on it." She had moved in closer to
Mulder, hands placed upon the top of the desk. "Look at all that we 
have lost here Mulder," she blew. "The baby, our sisters, any chance 
of a real career in the Bureau, it's all gone Mulder, and for what, 
who would have taken a newborn anyway?  Or for that matter, who would
have stolen your sister or killed mine?  But the truth is, I need to 
know, I need to know where my child is, our child.  I mean every April
29 I order a frigging birthday cake, and I buy a present.  I sit on my
couch and try to figure out what the fuck." She paced back and forth 
in front of the lone desk.
	"So I take the cake, smash in the parts that I don't eat, rip 
the present open and start tearing it up. "She inhaled before going 
on. "I hate that day Mulder; I hate everything about that day.  God I
wish I had let Bill pick you up..."
	He sat listening to her diatribe, staring into the sea blue 
eyes that held so much of his soul.  "Scully, don't do this..."
	"Oh and Mr.'I have a master's degree in Psychology' wants to 
go throwing things back under the rug.  Don't you know what repression
is Mulder?  Didn't you ever learn about the giant white elephant in 
the middle of the room?  Because that's what we have here Mulder, a 
big giant ass Elephant, fat and bloated with THE TRUTH.  Or did they 
not teach that in England?" she was on a roll and he was going to get
the full load.
	"She would have been sixteen this year Mulder, the same age I 
was when she was born..."
	"Scully, I don't think we are ready to deal..." he had risen 
from the desk, it wasn't that he didn't want to talk about the child 
they had lost, he wanted to more than anything, and all of his 
important degrees screamed for recompense in the matter.  Mulder was 
afraid that dragging out the fat bloated elephant would send Scully 
running for California again.
	Scully shot him a look before continuing that made his blood 
flow backwards. "I am ready to discuss it." She raged openly and 
uncharacteristically. "I want this out in the open Mulder.  Do you 
really think we are going to ever find her?  Or at least any sort of 
answers as to what really went on that night?  I have stuck around 
here for three years Mulder, damn near four years of my life I have 
invested in this search.  You sit and shed tears over Samantha, and I
feel for you, I really do especially since I lost Missy.  But the 
truth here is that I am here for one reason and one reason only." Her
small stature had seemed to elongate with every syllable she uttered,
and Mulder was struck at how big her presence truly was.
	He cringed under her glare, he knew this was coming, had felt 
it building up steam ever since she had awakened in the hospital after
returning from her abduction.  He knew that once he had walked into 
that empty hospital room and found her sitting alone by Missy's empty
bed, he had known the break would come.  Mulder was not ready; the 
wounds still fresh to him, more so than the loss of Samantha.  He had
begun to wonder if he would ever be allowed to love something or 
someone without loss being attached to it like an anchor.
	"Do you know why I left medical school Mulder?" her voice had 
suddenly taken on a gentle cadence, almost forcing him to lean over 
the desk to hear her.  She went on after he shook his head.
	"I was on an OB rotation for my residency, we had to go 
through a different rotation every few weeks.  I walked into this room
expecting to see a happy couple, instead I find a fifteen year old 
girl in the midst of hard labor.  She was scared and alone, and in 
more pain than I had ever seen anyone in my life." Scully drew a 
ragged breath before going on. "Stephanie Moore, I will never forget 
her.  She fought the good fight, alone.  No one was there with her 
through her ordeal.  I came and helped her that day, I watched her 
struggle at her most triumphant moment."
	"That fifteen year old girl taught me more about life and 
fight than I thought existed.  I had to know then Mulder." Scully 
swatted at tears that threatened to brew. "I have a right to know."
	Mulder did not dare interrupt her, part of him wanted to run 
from the office and slam the door on this part of his life, and yet he
knew this had to go on.
	"Mulder, I never got to see her, she doesn't even have a 
name..." Scully was not crying, but her eyes twitched from the strain
of holding back tears for so long.
	"I was always partial to the name Scott." Mulder smiled trying 
to ease some of the tension that had gathered in the office.
	Scully returned his comment with a sad smile. "That name 
reminds me of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I always thought 
Gretchen would be nice..."
	"Gretchen?" Mulder made a mock sour face. "Yeah Scully, just 
ensure her career as a porn star..."
	"Yeah you would know about that wouldn't you?" she smirked
	"You wound me Scully."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	It was a game they played when the tension go to be too much, 
sometimes on the long drives between cases, Mulder would shoot out a 
name out of the blue, if only to watch Scully make a face that spoke 
of Lemons.  The psychologist in him knew this was something good, that
even though the conversation in the basement never got the final 
closure that Scully had been driving at, they were on their way to 
healing.
	Scully had begun to slip into the real passenger's seat, she 
still refused to accept most of the cases that got thrown at her, but
while she could not believe in the files, she did stat to believe in 
Fox Mulder again.
	So when Bill stumbled across a letter written to Maggie from 
his father about the situation, Dana found herself defending Fox 
Mulder.
	"How could you let this happen?" he raged, spittle flying at 
her in his anger.
	"Bill, you don't know the whole story..." Maggie interjected 
trying to calm her son down.
	"No Mom, we trusted this kid. I trusted him and this is what I 
get in return?" Bill paced back and forth in the living room of his 
mother's house.
	"Bill Scully, you ought to let this thing go, its been sixteen 
years since it all happened, and none of you knew of it-"
	"Yeah, well I know about it now Mom."
	"Let it go Bill." Dana answered flatly, not wanting to have 
her life drudged before the entire family, especially this one part 
that was so painful. "Its gone Bill, the baby is a teenager now."
	"How could you work with him like that Dana?  He took 
advantage of an underage kid..."
	"Bill it wasn't just him, we both had sex." She smiled at his 
flinch at her choice of words. "I am a grown woman now Bill, and who I
decide to work with is my call."
	"I'm going to kill him Danes, he ever steps foot in this house 
again and so help me God I will pull my service revolver-"
	You will do no such thing William Scully." Maggie admonished. 
"And if you don't let it go now you can leave this house and not come
back until you have removed that chip off of you r shoulder."
	"So you choose him over your own flesh and blood Mom?" Bill 
stormed up the stairs like a five year old deprived of cookies, he may
have got the last word in, but Maggie still got her point across, he 
dropped the subject.
	It wasn't easy to face Bill and Charlie once she found that 
they knew about her past.  While Bill felt the need to blame Mulder 
and rage incessantly over Dana's lack of self control, Charlie was her
biggest fan. "Dana, shit happens." That was all he had to offer on the
subject, and characteristic of Charlie, it was short and right to the
point.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"Esmeralda." Scully shot, biting the sides of her mouth to 
stifle the smile that was trying to break free.
	"Elvis." Mulder returned straight faced.
	"Oh god Mulder, you sure your parents didn't take any heavy 
drugs back in the day?" she reeled.
	"What's wrong with Elvis?  I think it is a perfectly natural 
name, better than Fox that's for sure." He rifled through the 
paperwork in front of him, Mulder had a custom of rambling thorough 
paperwork in a confused manner, at some point, usually two hours into
his play, Scully would walk over, wordlessly snatch the paperwork and
finish it.
	"Mulder," she began, wondering how long she should let him 
stumble over the paperwork before she swooped in and 'rescued' him. 
"Bill knows."
	The look of horror on Mulder's face would have been comical, 
had it not been warranted. "He gonna show up here?"
	Dana shook her head "No, but I would steer clear of any Scully 
gathering until the new Millennium at least." She smiled as the color
slowly returned to his face.
	"How bad was it when he found out?"
	"Let's just say that he wants to ensure that it never happens 
again..."
	"So now that's two Scully's that have threatened to emasculate 
me," he shook his head in disbelief. "I gotta get my passport 
renewed."
	"Hey, at least I stopped sending back the reports." She 
smiled, figuring it was the best way to break subject.
	"So you were sent down here to spy on me?" he couldn't believe 
what he was hearing.
	"Hey, I said I stopped Mulder." She defended.
	He glared at her not sure how to handle the fact that she had 
betrayed him, form Diana it was different, he had always suspected she
was capable of it, under the right circumstances and given a better 
offer.  Dana was different; there was so much history between the two
of them.  Of all people he had expected her to not sell him out, he 
had expected her to if not believe; at least have faith in him.  He 
started to think she had none.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	Fox Mulder was used to being lonely, even as a husband, he 
still felt alone.  He spent the time not in his office at work; at 
home in front of the television idly flipping channels, most of the 
time he found he just let the TV watch him.
	He himself had a routine for the dates in his life he wanted 
to forget, drinking was a good way to mask the feelings that tried to
surface on November 27th and April 29th.  Mulder hated alcohol, hated
the taste of it, but those two dates found him plastered beyond all 
recognition.  April 29 was an unofficial holiday in the X-Files 
division of the FBI, Skinner never expected either one in the office 
on those days, even in the middle of a case they would find field work
to do to keep busy and away from each other.  Though they never 
officially called in sick on that day, it was always a sort of 
unspoken day of mourning.
	Two people who carried around the same pain chose to face that 
pain singularly and alone, even the trust that they shared in each 
other could not broach that pain.  Even though Scully had long given 
up her drive to put Mulder in his place, she still celebrated that day
alone.
	There had been one year, the last one as a matter of fact, 
that Mulder had come to her apartment, stood outside her door, wanting
so bad to knock, but didn't.  He stood there for an hour, just needing
to be near to the only other person that would understand the pain he
dealt with.  And yet he knew that there were things he could not drag
out in front of Scully, emotions that he was not sure either of them 
could yet handle.
	And as he walked away from her apartment that night, he felt 
the same stirrings of feelings he had once had as he watched the tiny
red head walk away from his house after caring for him.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"You have something I need." The creepy cancerous man-thing 
hissed advancing upon her Scully blanched as she realized in complete
horror what he was insinuating. Scully replayed the scene over in her
head ad nauseum the entire drive back to DC.
	"You ok Scully?" Mulder asked noting her melancholy.
	"I'm fine Mulder." She insisted.  She had decided to push the 
thoughts out of her head not wanting to have more to deal with and 
definitely not wanting her partner to know what she feared.
	Mulder knew when she was fine, she was never fine.  If the 
word got thrown in to the conversation, the loose translation was 
'something is bugging me, but I am not going to tell you what until I
am good and damn ready to talk about it, and if you push me you're 
going to get your ass kicked.'
	So he erred on the side of caution and let it drop.

(15/26)
         
Someday
When my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why
You were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I'll look around for another try
And fade away
	Sugar Ray
	
      Scully sat at the bedside of the dying woman, chatting with her
made her realize that her turn was next, that this whole time she had
been living on was borrowed, not her own but that of those that had 
orchestrated her cancer in the first place.
	She found her strength to tell her mother, which had been so 
easy to tell her, compared to telling Mulder.
	Of course he doubted her dying, wasn't that his job, to doubt 
everything she believed in as she had doubted his beliefs.  He held 
her, close as they both succumbed to emotions that rampaged through 
them, so many twisted not quite handled emotions.  He drew her into 
him, as if his arms could fend off this attack as they had before.  
But Mulder could not deny the inescapable, that Scully's own body had
mounted this assault, and he could no more fend off this visage than 
to turn back time and marry this woman he loved.
	Scully had at first accepted the cancer, not as a death 
sentence so much as a new path her life had been dragged onto.  For 
the first few days she had not even thought of it as leading to death,
even though the evidence of its eventuality made itself more than 
obvious.  The journal she had began keeping was addressed to Mulder, 
but her analytical mind knew better.  She had wanted; needed some way
to talk to the child she was never allowed to know.  That in some way
addressing it to Mulder ensured its delivery to the intended reader of
the document in the event of her death.
	She knew that eventually he would find her.
	Mulder had run off to go dash at whatever windmill held her 
cure, and Scully found herself thankful for this rather than annoyed. 
His belief in her survival was something she really found comforting,
as if his drives and convictions drove her on.  As if the ideas of 
Mulders crazy theories all directed just for her survival was 
something to cling to, something for her to wrap all of her 
convictions into and...believe.
	Was it?  Was he what she clung to?  Scully inhabited that 
hospital room alone, her mother dallied in and out always there always
a show of her own strength.  But what was her strength?  What kept 
Dana Katherine Scully purveyor of facts and logic sane?  She had faced
so much in the last half of her life, why?
	When the world was closing in around her, and the life that 
she had chosen had become small and unattainable, it was Mulder that 
she clung to,

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Some say
Better things will come our way
No matter what they try to say
You were always there for me
Some way
When the sun begins to shine
I hear a song from another time
And fade away
	Sugar Ray


	He did not like the idea of her being out on cases while 
trying to battle her own body to stay alive..  The frequent nose 
bleeds she experienced were more than just a little disturbing for 
him.  The horror on her face as him being witness to her demise was 
more than he could stand.  They had began to spend more and more time
together, and Mulder was reminded of the waning days before he left 
for England, how they had tried to spend as much time together as 
possible, needing to be near each other as much as they could before 
fate wedged them apart.  He tried to take care of her as much as she 
would allow, he even popped over to her apartment at least twice a 
week on the guise of case work always bearing some sort of food he 
would insist she eat.
	The thing that struck Mulder was the fact that she was 
allowing all this close contact with him, as if in her weakened 
condition she had neither the strength or will to fight him off.  
Truthfully, she thrived off of his attention, and she relished in the
fact that they had made4 real headway in their friendship.  They had 
come a long way from the angry adults tolerating each other's presence
day in and day out.  The two people who once repressed every single 
emotion in front of each other began to give way to the natural 
progression of their lives, and something long since dropped from 
their relationship had begun to burrow into it yet again.  He refused
to bring up any subject of their past, or of anything about the child
they both still desperately cherished.  He merely stayed on the 
sidelines as her friend as much as she would allow him to.
	Once again, it was Scully who floored him with her push of the 
subject; Mulder had decided that if she brought it up, he would not 
try to fend it off.  It didn't take a psychologist to note that people
faced with their own mortality felt a need to set things straight in 
their life.
	"Mulder," she sighed from his lap, her head resting there 
after they had consumed an entire large pizza, with Mulder having 
eaten the bulk of it.
	He hummed an answer to her inquisition, all the while stroking 
her flame red hair and losing himself in the complexity of it.
	"I need to talk about what went on, I need to ask you for a 
few favors. I need Mulder a few assurances from you, and knowing our 
past and all I know I need not ask them but..."
	He mentally braced himself for what was coming and drummed his 
fingers onto her back in a manner that told her to go ahead.
	"When you find her." He loved that she had said when and not 
if, she had so much faith in finding her.  In a way, they had both 
believed that one day he or she would just come waltzing through the 
door of the office. "When you find her Mulder, tell her about me."
	"You'll be around to tell her yourself Scully.' He insisted.
	"Mulder I mean it, I intend to fight with all that I have in 
me, but my...dying will be better accepted by me." A shaky breath came
from her lips as she went on. "I wish that I had told you sooner 
Mulder, I have never forgiven myself for that."
	"Scully, leave it.  You were sixteen years old, barely able to 
handle what was going on.  No one, I mean NO ONE blames you Scully." 
He needed her to know that. "If anything this all leads back to me 
Scully, if this had happened with anyone else, you would be holding 
your child instead of fighting cancer." He was near tears himself now,
God it felt good to get all of this out in the open. "My family has a
genetic marker for alien abduction."
	"Mulder..." she rose up off his lap to face him. "I don't want 
to go into that part of it, laying blame is pointless now.  I just 
need to admit that it happened.  That Fox William Mulder and Dana 
Katherine Scully once had a child, that is now of legal age."  She was
struck by that, their child would be eighteen now.  Eighteen years 
old.
	Mulder was struck by this, he knew that the child would be 
eighteen, but it never dawned on him that eighteen years had come and
gone since then. "I'm...wow eighteen years." He realized how long of a
time that was.
	Scully grabbed his hand at the notice of the dejected look on 
his face. "Mulder stop blaming yourself, jeez.." she shook her head 
out of sheer frustration. "This is pointless, I was trying to find 
some closure for me, for both of us but I guess there are things in 
this that you have not dealt with yet."
	"I could not save him." He said simply from behind a thick 
voice. "I could not save him, I just laid there as they did whatever 
to you and him." He was choked up now, and it was time to let it all 
out. "I wanted him too Scully.  Even when I found out while I was 
trying to get you out of the car I wanted him so badly."
	It was Scully's turn to be stunned, "Mulder?" she had never 
imagined that he was offering anything more than out of a sense of 
duty or honor.
	"Yeah, I was ready to give it all up Scully, school my future 
everything just to have him...and you." He looked into the sea blue 
eyes that reminded him of a night long ago, a night on a beach that 
the two of them were forever transformed by.
	She slid her arms around him pressing her head into his chest. 
"I wish things could have been different for us Mulder." She
admitted. 	"Yeah," he managed from under tears. "Me too."
	"We have so much history Mulder, so much between us.  
Everyone in the Hoover Building thinks we're having a torrid
affair.." 	"Hey it's not from lack of trying on my part..." Mulder 
grinned, even though he had to duck after uttering it.
	"You are truly my best friend Mulder." She went on trying to 
ignore his leer.
	"And you mine Scully, "he held her closer to him and sighed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"Where are we going Mulder?" She asked, they were in the 
middle of a case and she was feeling the nasty after affects of the 
chemo treatments.
	"Don't you trust me Scully?" He did not want to tell her the 
fear he had that they would never stand on a beach together again, 
that he was so afraid of truly losing her he needed to do this, needed
to go to where it all began.
	They parked in front of the entrance, and as they walked hand 
in hand onto the sand, hundreds of memories flooded both agents' 
senses. 
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
	The soft rock music station blared from the car, as the two 
danced barefoot in the sand, neither one wanting to end the night. He
held her close inhaling her scent, imprinting it on his soul.  Her 
head rested on his chest listening to his heart beat as she followed 
his gentle lead.
	"I gotta take you home soon Scully..." He said finally. "It's 
just after midnight and I promised Dr. Scully your coach would turn 
back into a pumpkin at twelve Cinderella."
	"I know." she sniffed trying to memorize this night second by 
second.
	They continued their slow dance under the moonlights as the 
ocean's tide roared along to the music.
	He gently rubbed her bare back softly up and down as they 
swayed to a soft Eagles' tune.  Instinctively, she began to rub his 
back in response; their touches were gentle at first, soft roamings.
	"Mulder..." she began searching his eyes for an answer.  She 
raised her head to offer him a kiss, not the usually chaste kisses 
they shared, nor was this kiss like the gentle petting and necking 
that they had shared in their many make out sessions.
	This one was different.
	Mulder wasn't sure how to take this, he wanted her so very 
badly, needed to be with her in a way he was not sure if she was ready
for.  He looked into her eyes, trying to find if she meant what he 
thought.
	"Scully," he breathed huskily, placing his hands on the sides 
of her face.  He drew into her a deep kiss, one screaming from his 
very soul, one that spoke louder than the ring that rested on her 
finger. "You don't have to do this, I love you and..."
	"I need this Mulder, I need to feel.  No matter what happens 
to us from here, I want to know for all times that you were here 
first."
	He gently laid her onto the beach as they continued the 
fervent kissing of each other's skin. In the hot sand they found a 
solace there for each other. "Are you sure?" he whispered into her 
ear, desperate for the right answer, which she gave him with a small 
yet firm nod of her head. xxxxxxxxxxxx
	They held hands like the teens that once haunted this beach.  
She laughed as Mulder dropped to his knees in the sand and began to 
build one of his infamous sand ships.
	She began to help him as they listened for the new news that 
the ocean had to impart on them, wisdom and knowledge were in its 
roars that afternoon, and something else.
	Redemption. 
Xxxxxxxx
	His mouth was on fire with the need of her, his mind had gone 
to mush fifteen minutes ago, and he was working off of sheer instinct.
  He wants to touch every part of her every inch of the ivory skin
that  invaded every single one of his dreams.
	She answered each kiss with a matched one for him, allowing 
the moment to rule her and not caring about anything else.  She could
feel his urgency for her, and she fed off of it, needing to give to 
him the same desperate feelings of love and utter devotion.
	His hands worked through her dress, finding the soft mounds of 
skin underneath, he gently felt them as he continued kissing her, 
knowing that this was something that was meant to be.
	Her breath caught at the feeling of his hands in her dress, 
gliding over nipples that no one had ever touched before.  She 
shuddered at his touch, he stopped momentarily afraid that he had done
something wrong.  When he found only pleasure in her glassed over 
eyes, he went on.
	Mulder could hear Scully's heart as it beat madly at his 
touch.  He knew he would have to be careful with her, that this was 
her first time and it would be different for her than it had been for
him.
	Gently he worked her dress up to her middle, kissing her 
abdomen and gently placing his mouth on her breasts.  He relished in 
her soft moans as he touched her most intimate skin, she began to 
thrash her legs as he rubbed her to climax, crying out his name to no
one on the empty beach.
	He positioned himself above her, kissing her mouth in long 
succulent sips. "Before this goes on Scully, I want you to know that I
love you and that I am in love with you.  I don't want to do this if 
you don't."
	"Mulder, you are my everything." She offered, cheeks still 
rosy from the assault from his fingers.
	It was all the clearance he needed, he clamped down onto her 
mouth as he gently slightly entered the love of his life.  He wrapped
his arms around her, noting she was ok after the initial shock he went
on.
	The feeling was intense, she felt a joining, a union with this 
soul that she had never felt with anyone.  Feeling him inside her was
more than she could bear, she wanted to cry out, first in pain, and 
then in pleasure.  She wrapped her legs around his as they continued 
there mad rhythm.  He confessed his love of her over and over again, 
and she held onto him with all the force and need of a girl in love.
	He felt himself building and knew it was going to happen.  
For a split second he thought to pull out of her before too late, but
a split second later it was too late. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	They stood on the beach, facing the ocean.  Scully watched the 
gulls dive and rise off of the late afternoon incoming tide.  Mulder 
came up behind her and slipped his strong arms around her waist, 
holding her weakened body up just as when they first kissed, just like
she knew he always would.
	Scully leaned into him, not speaking they chose to continue to 
listen to the now wild murmurings of the waves as they cascaded onto 
the sandy ridge.
	"Thank you." She offered holding onto his arms
	"For what?" he asked a little confused.
	"For all the times at the beach, for today, for yesterday, for 
loving me when I was a kid." She smiled.
	"Aw shucks Ma'am." He teased. "Tweren't nuthin."


Just close your eyes and I'll take you there
This place is warm without a care
We'll take a dip in the deep blue sea
I go to leave but you reach for me
	Sugar Ray

	That was the night he had dropped her off at home, and found 
he was under surveillance, the night the dead body wound up in his 
apartment.
	He held the cure in his hands, after making his deals and 
begging, and even catching Skinner trying to do his own wheeling and 
dealing, he had the cure in his hands, and big brother Bill was not 
having any part of it.  It was Scully who finally made the choice she
believed him, and accepted his prize.
	She had defended him, as the senate investigation pummeled her 
endlessly with questions she could not give truthful answers to; they
had placed her in jail, in her condition.  Mulder was agog at how much
she had come to be an integral part of his life, and he had tried to 
imagine his life without her, and in true Mulder form, refused to 
accept it.
	He passed most of the time sitting in the chairs outside of 
her hospital room, afraid to face her hallowed looking features, how 
her body had begun its descent and was dwindling away into nothing.
	
(16/26)

What a dream I had
Pressed in organdy
Clothed in crinoline
Of smoky burgundy
Softer than the rain
	Simon and Garfunkel

	She had made it through the cancer, his cure that he nearly 
sold his soul for worked, she was alive.  So to thank him for all he 
had done, she opted to leave for Christmas, had sped off again for 
California.  Typical.
	He hated when she left for the holidays, as if the idea of 
spending Christmas with him would be so repugnant as to need to run 
off for the safe comfort of her family
	They could have been a family, once.
	He sat in his apartment, having spent the greater part of 
December 23 speeding towards complete blitzo.  The Lone Gunmen were 
nice enough to invite him over for one of Frohike's concoctions, and 
it sounded like the best offer he had had all week.  Hell, it was the
only one.
	Scully was gone and he missed her and it was as simple as 
that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"Mom, I believe that Melissa had a child."  She had followed 
all the clues, had chased after the trail that had been laid out in 
front of her.  Not sure how this would all end, or if it had any 
meaning other than her own cracked mental state having just gotten 
through cancer.
	Her whole family doubted her, and there in the living room of 
her oldest brother as they all circled around their own skepticism; 
she was stunned at how she felt like Mulder right then.  Her entire 
world was against her, did not understand what she was trying to 
prove.  Had she not gone off ditching her whole family in the search 
of this truth?  Had she not gone on merely the words of her long dead
sister to lead her off into the unknown?
	Ah damn it, she mentally chided herself. I have been around 
Mulder way too long.
	And yet, realizing she had become in herself that which she 
rebuked in her partner, she still drove on, she still had to find the
answers to this truth.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"Mulder," she breathed into the phone, trying desperately to 
maintain as much composure as she could. It was all too much and 
smacked of something familiar, something that had haunted her for the
past nineteen years.
	"What's wrong Scully?" he didn't like the sound in her voice, 
even over the phone he could see condensation forming around the hard
ice of her armor.
	"I need you to come out here; I need a favor from you." She 
wasn't sure how to go about this, wasn't sure how to broach this 
subject to him.  But she knew he would come, she knew he would be on 
the next plane out to San Diego.
	Oh God, he thought.  It's the cancer. "Is everything ok?"
	Scully proceeded to spin a tale to him, one of mysterious 
phone calls and a little girl, a little girl that DNA tests revealed 
as Scully's "I'll be there in a few hours." He hung up the phone 
without giving his opinion.  He knew this was going to lead to 
heartache, something Scully could not handle after everything she had
been through.
	He made one phone call before heading off to catch his flight.  
He played a hunch and wanted to see if it was the right one.
	"Danny?  Yeah hey, I need you to do me a favor, you got those 
samples that Agent Scully sent out?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wandered empty streets down
Past the shop displays
I heard Cathedral bells
Dripping down the alleyways
As I walked on
	Simon and Garfunkel
	
	When Fox Mulder entered the room the vision that lay before 
him made his heart stop for an entire beat.  Seeing Scully sitting and
playing with this little girl did something to him, he wanted to turn
around and run, top speed away from there.  It felt wrong, somehow the
whole scene felt off kilter for him.  The reminder of the baby had 
little to do with his initial apprehension of this scene.  There was a
fundamental errant nature in seeing Scully interacting with a child 
that was nothing more than a genetic experiment.  She was there 
sitting on the floor playing dolls with a lab rat.
	He walked over to the two after being spotted by Scully, too 
late to make an escape.  She introduced him to the little blonde girl,
who smiled at his Mr. Potato Head impression that once made Samantha 
squeal with mad giggles.
	"Why didn't you call me sooner?" Mulder was pissed, beyond 
pissed.  The phone call he received from his partner was the last 
thing he had expected, he never dreamed she would find any of the 
genetic children that were being created.  A little advance warning on
what was going on would have been nice here.  He was hurt that Scully
had opted to keep him in the dark for as long as it took before she 
needed him to ride up on his white horse.  Typical.
	Scully ducked her head a little as if ashamed to admit that 
she had hesitated in calling him; that she had consciously not wanted
to call him until she needed him.  "I wasn't sure Mulder."
	He then launched into a tirade against the whole idea of her 
adopting Emily that she would never have thought he would. Mulder was
convinced that this miracle was nothing more than an accidental 
finding of some thing that was going to destroy her emotionally.  He 
was convinced that she had stumbled into a situation she should just 
walk away from.  Scully's ire at his soliloquy held in check, she was
not one for displaying her emotions openly, yet noted all of his snide
comments to be hurled back at him later.
	"Why are you so against this Mulder?  Why are you trying to 
throw water on this for me?  I thought you of all people would see 
this for the miracle that it is." Scully needed him to see things from
her vantage point, just this one time.
	"I would be onboard with this Scully if you were not going to 
get hurt out of all of this." His words froze her; he told her the 
truth, leaving nothing out.
	"That does not mean that this is the same thing Mulder." He 
had asked her to think where this child came from, to try and figure 
out what had lead to her creation.  He asked of her questions that not
only she could not answer but did not want to answer. "Mulder, why 
can't you just accept this as the miracle she is?  You the one with 
the extreme possibilities, what is so hard about accepting my love for
this one little girl, this one little miracle."
	"Some miracles were not meant to be Scully, she was not meant 
to be."
	After court, they drove back to her brother's house on base.  
Bill had relented to his staying there only to keep Maggie happy, but
he had a little discussion with Mulder on his own.
	Bill stood in his kitchen, arms folded and alone.  He had 
called Mulder into the kitchen for a private discussion. "I don't 
agree with any of this Mr. Mulder.' He offered to the man he had once
considered a friend.
	"Bill, I am not here to try and get you r sister in any kind 
of trouble if that is what you are hedging at.'
	Bill sneered at Mulder's choice of vernacular. "Yeah and that 
better not ever happen again either.  I know all about what you did to
her Mulder, and if you touch her again so help me-"
	"William Scully Junior that is enough." Tara walked over to 
her husband, belly pointing at the guilty party. "Leave it alone 
Bill," she demanded. "Now, take me upstairs I need help getting into 
bed. "She threw an apologetic look at Mulder who returned it with a 
look of complete and total gratitude, he watched the very pregnant 
woman ascend the stairs with husband in tow, a pang of jealousy 
gripped his heart.  Here was Bill, and Tara, anxiously expecting this
joyous new chapter in their lives.  There were no government 
conspiracies tied to their baby, no network of lies or chicanery.  
They were simply two people who loved each other enough to mix their 
DNA and see what happened with it- good or bad.
	Scully soon followed upstairs; apparently it took quite a few 
people quite a long time to get Tara into bed these days.  He was in 
the midst of musing when his phone rang.
	"Mulder," he answered.
	"Mulder, its Danny, listen I got the results back and you were 
right it is a match."
	"Thanks Danny." He hung up his phone and felt the tears 
brimming in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


And when you ran to me,
Your cheeks blushed with the night
We ran through frosted fields
Of Juniper and lamplight
I held your hand
	Simon and Garfunkel

	The mysterious phone call lead them to the Children's home, 
they found Emily there, raging with fever.  Mulder wasn't expecting 
the parental feelings that assaulted him as he carried the sick little
girl down to the car.  He held her close feeling her hot clammy skin 
against his stubbly face.  He had to remind himself that this was 
nothing more than a clone of who she really was.  This girl that he 
held was merely a carbon copy of their daughter, like the one that he
had traded of Samantha.
	Scully would never get that.
	Scully would never accept the idea that Emily was the clone of 
their long missing child.  Mulder knew now that they had had a girl.
	Even in his stolid demeanor, he still felt himself giving over 
to the emotions that this child erupted in him, and though he did not
let the emotions float to the surface, he knew he would be dealing 
with 1980 all over again.
	Scully focused on trying to cure Emily, placing all of her 
faith in science and medicine she believed that there was cure 
somewhere that lay in all of the sciences she clung to for so long.  
She had no idea of the viciousness with which Mulder had attached 
himself to this one.  She had no idea how much over the edge he was 
going.  Emily grew worse with each passing hour, and Scully knew a 
time would come where she would have to let her go.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxx

	He wasn't there when she died, and in a lot of ways Mulder was 
grateful for that, the detachment helped him to deal with her death 
much better.  He could hold the little girl at arms length and tell 
himself that she was merely a clone.
	But his heart still broke into a million pieces.
	Scully had chased him out of the room, had in fact thrown up 
huge brick walls that screamed STAY OUT.  She had informed him, though
wordlessly, that this was none of his business; that what was going on
in that hospital room, was between her, Emily and her almighty.  He 
relented, but only after making sure she could read the look of hurt 
in his eyes.
	Mulder had not told Scully of the connection to this girl. He 
was wan to do so, knowing that she may not take or even accept the 
truth.  That somehow their daughter had been used for the furthering 
of some sick extraterrestrial agenda.  Mulder wondered how many tests
they subjected her to, what kind of life did their daughter have as a
lab rat.  He sat in the hall and watched his partner climb into bed 
with the comatose child, popping endless sunflower seeds as he viewed
her grief from a distance.  It hurt that she would not allow him in, 
that they could not grieve together and find some solace in each 
other.
 	This was routine, the two of them faced with some horrible 
event, and Scully forcing him out of it.  They hid in the background,
holding each other at a distance, only watching the pain, never 
sharing it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	Scully held her daughter's hand, gently caressing her tiny 
fingers and humming a sweet nameless tune that fell on ears that could
not hear.  She wanted to remember this moment forever, she had not 
been there for conception, or birth, but here, here she was at the 
last significant moment in this life.  Here she was at the apex of the
crossing over into that spiritual plane.  Scully watched as the little
girl's life began to slow down, as her breathing became more labored 
and uneven.
	Tears fell slowly and awkwardly to the clean white hospital 
sheet, she knew this could take hours, but she was prepared to be here
for the exact moment Emily left.
	Mulder hung in the background as the girl coded, watched as 
the doctor's came in and pronounced the little girl's life over.  He 
cried alone as they began to remove the IVs and wires from her.  He 
cried alone as they covered her tiny little face with a white sheet. 
He recalled the night not too long ago when he held her, carrying her
out into the car to get to the hospital.  All the emotions came back 
to him in a flood.
	Scully emerged and informed him of her death, as if he did not 
know.  She dropped her news, and left quickly, not giving him so much
as a smile to try and comfort him.  She had effectively cut him off 
emotionally, and there was little he could do to stop this fast moving
train.  He realized at that moment that the Ice Queen was not merely 
an FBI myth.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And when I awoke 
And felt you warm and near 
I kissed your honey hair 
With my grateful tears 
Oh I love you girl Oh I love you.
	Simon and Garfunkel

	She would not even let him help with the arrangements.  He had 
wanted to tell her so bad, but the right time never seemed to come at
that time, there was so much grief and pain.  Scully would ever be 
reminded of her daughter's death in the significance that the time and
date and hospital exactly matched the birth of her nephew.  The irony
of this was not lost on Mulder, and had he not been in so much pain he
would have briefly considered reincarnation.  But Mulder was not all 
right, he was not fine and it would be a long time before he would 
ever be fine again.
	Scully was working off of sheer instinct; she made calls and 
arrangements without even realizing what was going on.  She had closed
Mulder off the three days between Emily's death and her funeral.  He 
stayed in his motel room contemplating what to do next. He had picked
dup the phone a dozen times that night to try and tell her to come 
over, that he had something important to tell her.  But he would lose
his nerve, and eventually he threw the phone across the room out of 
frustration.
	He almost didn't hear the knock at the door some hours later, 
he had turned on a basketball game to drown out the thoughts in his 
head, and the whiskey he sucked down alone had dulled his sense of 
hearing enough to omit a marching band storming through the motel 
room.
	She stood there, face almost as red as her hair, eyes bulging 
from her tears, he lead her to the bed and they sat together, crying 
softly into each other's arms. "God Mulder," she whimpered. "Who did I
piss off?  I mean this is like what happened before only somehow this
is fucking me up worse."
	"I know Scully, but before you go on, I have to tell you 
something." He rose and went to his briefcase, placing the results 
that Danny had faxed over to him on her lap.
	"Oh my God." She drew in a hard ragged breath before going on. 
"Are these right?"
	"Yeah, " he nodded sadly, "She was mine too.  Scully, I have a 
theory..."
	But Scully was way ahead of him, had gone from point A to 
point C, completely bypassing B altogether. "She's a clone of..."
	Mulder simply nodded, sitting down next to her and laying his 
head on her tiny shoulder. "Yeah." He sighed. "Congratulations Scully,
it's a girl, you were right all along."
	Scully glared bleary eyed at the results in front of her, it 
was as if some great cosmic joke had just been played on her, as if 
the cosmos had opened its great big mouth and had the biggest guffaw 
at her expense. "Mulder, this child was only two, who would do this?"
	"I wish I knew Scully, but I never wanted you to get hurt in 
all of this."
	"Well too late Mulder, guess what?  I'm hurt, not just hurt, I 
feel like I just relived 1980.  I thought being here with Emily was 
going to be therapeutic, and when she began to die, I had hoped to 
find some kind of closure on all of what I had been through, but you 
know what Mulder?" she asked turning her ire onto the only other 
person in the room.
	He tried to keep his face unreadable, knowing that any emotion 
on his exterior would be used against him later.
	"I wanted her.  So what if she was a clone, I wanted her. " 
she rose to leave, crossed the room and slammed the door in silence on
her way out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	The empty casket was just more proof, more to prove that there 
was an intricate web of lies and deceit, which their daughter was at 
the center of.  Mulder had turned as she opened the crypt, and Scully
noted not for the first time how many weaknesses Mulder had, that 
there were many things about his nature that she had found less than 
perfect.
	Mulder tried to pretend he had turned to give her privacy, in 
truth he was not ready to look upon the face of his dead little girl,
and if Scully saw that as weak, then so be it.
	They took the first flight back to DC, not wanting to spend 
another hour in San Diego agonizing over what to do other than spin 
their wheels.  They walked around the basement as two people who 
barely knew each other, each internalizing their anger and depression.
  Scully withdrew into herself, cutting Mulder out entirely, and
Mulder  in turn took solace in the things he knew well-he had began to
spend a  lot of time at the porn shows, something he had not down in
years, but  it was the only way he could deal.  He began to feel
himself sinking  into some sort of cavern of emotions that he did not
see an end to. 	They greeted each other in the mornings, worked their
cases,  and bid farewell in the evening.  Scully had pretended that
Mulder did  not exist, and Mulder began to pretend that it did not
bother him.   They were ghosts in human flesh, passing before each
other and going  through the motions of life.  Neither one of them
seemed to care about  much, Scully had begun to seek refuge in her
church and spirituality;  and in that Mulder felt a little jealousy. 
She had some belief to  cling to, some thing that she could at least
try to seek answers from,  or at the very least surcease of sorrow. 
All he had was smut,  debauchery and filth that he reveled in as his
religion, he had  nothing to believe in, the one thing that he did
believe in had  effectively cast him aside and shut him out.  Mulder
had been  excommunicated from the church of Scully, and he wandered
the streets  of Washington as a shell of the once cocky arrogant man
he had once  been.
	
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	The case she had accepted from Father McCue was nothing like 
she had ever seen.  The girls were so twisted and helpless, and so 
innocent in their deaths.
	She had yet again hesitated in calling Mulder, knowing that 
religious cases were considered all bunk to him.  She had gone as long
as she could solo, but in the end, she needed her conscience.
	His skepticism was alarming to her, why could he believe in 
the most out there theories, the most bizarre conspiracies, and yet a
little faith in something religious, he considered heresy.
	Her damn faith, the only thing about Scully he found weak, how 
with all of her intelligence and adherence to facts could she go so 
vulnerable in the face of a few statues and signs?  And she called him
gullible
	He found himself in the role of trying to rein her in, he 
hated feeling like he had to lead her, be her voice of reason.  She 
was getting too far engrossed into this case and he was not sure how 
to keep her objective.  This was usually Scully's department.
	"I saw her Mulder.' She whimpered to him
	"Saw who?" he asked in disbelief
	"Emily, she was here, she wanted me to let her go." She felt 
tears coming, and didn't know how to keep them in check.
	"I think you need to walk away from this one Scully." He knew 
she would hate him for saying that, and she would not take the advice,
but he had to try.
	The look she gave him told him of how together she truly was, 
that even though she was seeing images of the dead clone everywhere, 
inherently she was fine.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxx

(17/26)

Looking back at me 
I see that I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong like a drug that gets 
me high
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
Never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
	Crossfade

	She stood staring at the lanky man in front of her, his eyes 
so full of emotion, begging for her to let him in. "Mulder I can't 
deal with this right now." She stammered.  It had been a long case, 
now over she just wanted to forget, to let the healing process take 
its natural course.
	"That's just it Scully," he said forcing his way into her 
apartment. "You were the one that made me start to deal with this in 
the first place." He slumped onto her couch, head lolling back over 
the edge of the frilly seat.
	"I don't see how you can put this one on me..."
	"Scully I have been trying to dodge the subject for years.  
No one knows about our little secret, except for a few, and it seems 
that they are dying off slowly but surely."
	"Mulder it has been a long day and all I want to do is crawl 
into a hot shower and sleep this case off."
	"No,"
	"Excuse me?" she could not believe what he was doing; here he 
was in her apartment telling her what he was not going to do.
	"I said no Scully; each time you needed to bring this out I 
did it, even against my better judgment, now I am asking you for the 
same considerations."
	She crossed to the plump chair across from where Mulder sat, 
primly tucking her hands into her sides. "Fine Mulder," she retorted 
as if conferring with a small child. "What do you want to discuss 
about this?"
	HE ignored her snide smug demeanor, needing this he flamed 
onward. "I hurt Scully." He offered to her, "And I think I am starting
to not be able to do this anymore."
	"Do what anymore Mulder?"
	"Go on like this, you shutting me out, me pretending to not 
care.  This is all killing me Scully."
	"So what do you want Mulder?" she had allowed her voice to 
take on a softer note, a more sweet tone in her words.
	"I want to stop spinning my wheels,, I want to stop dashing 
after ghosts.  I want to believe Scully.' Mulder had begun to feel the
tears in his voice, but he refused to allow himself to cry, he was not
going to give her the satisfaction.
	"How much of this do we have to drag out Mulder?  She is gone, 
twice.  It's like you said, she was a miracle that was never meant to
be.' It felt good to throw that back in his face...real good.
	"As much as it takes, as much as we have to until you and I 
aren't walking around like two fucking strangers who don't know what 
to say to each other." They were shouting at each other, and yet 
neither one seemed to notice.
	"We are never going to see this one the same way Mulder you 
and I both know what really went on that night, you and I both know 
what really happened."
	He froze; staring at her he froze and looked into the sea blue 
eyes. "Scully, we can't agree on that, we never could.  Remember, it's
why you sent me away that summer."
	"I sent you away because you remind me of what I lost, just 
like now you are reminding me of Emily." It had become the unofficial
agreed upon name.
	Mulder tried to grab hold of something, anything, but finding 
nothing to fling at the opposite wall in Scully's fastidious home, he
raged. "You sent me away because you couldn't deal Scully, you sent me
away because you are a selfish bitch.  I wanted to marry you, I still
do." He stopped there, seeing the disbelief in her eyes was too much,
Mulder rose hunched over Scully's seated form and kissed her.
	Too stunned to evade the kiss, Scully felt her body give into 
it, leaning into this breathless remnant from a childhood that she 
tried to wash away.  Her body began to react before she even realized
he had seized her lips, and her hands instinctively flew to his 
shoulders.
	He felt her body melt into is, this is good he thought this is 
so damn good, too good.  Mulder wanted to feel her body pressed 
against his for all eternity, and just when he was ready to plead for
just that, she shoved him away, forcefully and with malice and intent.
"Get out Mulder," she murmured. "Get out of here now." Scully had felt
that resolve melting, the ice was starting to crack, and she dido not
like it one little bit.
	He stood still hunched over her, shock dripping from his 
expression. "Scully..." he pleaded.
	She shook her head, "No Mulder." She insisted. "I'm not going 
to fall into this with you again. " Scully stood and walked over to 
the door, holding it open for him. "Please leave."
	"You'd rather hurt alone Scully?" he raged not caring who 
could hear the conversation that was now spilling over into her 
hallway. "You would rather sit up in here in your Ice Palace, and 
pretend that no one else feels what you feel?  I feel Scully." He was
really angry now. Swaying and swaggering with each word like a drunken
Irishman. "I feel Scully, what about that is so hard to understand?" 
he slammed his fist against the door jamb as he hurled himself out 
into the hall.
	Grateful for his being gone, she slammed the door.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cold to you I'm sorry bout all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again
Cause now I can see that
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me 
high
	Crossfade

	The office situation was not working, they barely spoke to 
each other and when they did it was edged in ice and arsenic.  But the
big blow up that had been ruminating around the surface finally popped
like the pimple on the ass of anger.
	"Mulder quit throwing pencils." She had had enough of hearing 
the constant soft thunk thunk thunk sound every few minutes.
	He had chosen to pretend not to hear her, continuing his mad 
stabbing of their ceiling.
	"Mulder..." she warned.
	"Oh I'm sorry I guess I am not allowed to have ANY fun." He 
fumed.
	"Give me a break Mulder." She looked at the calendar on his 
desk. "Hmmm its not that time of the month again is it?"
	"God Scully, I would have thought you would come up with 
something a little more original that THAT." He was still piercing the
ceiling, only at a faster clip.
	"Mulder I have a piercing headache and the sound of those 
pencils is really starting to piss me off."
	He continued his foray, as she rose from her seat, leaned 
over, and yanked away his box of pencils, to which he reached into his
bottom drawer and produced a new full box.
	"Mulder, I have a lot of work to do..."
	"So do it." He said to the ceiling as he attempted to dot the 
I in FBI
	"I can't with that noise, maybe you should try it, and it's 
called work... or is that against your religion?  Oh I forgot you have
none." This was getting ugly fast.
	Mulder did not offer her his customary hurt look, this was 
different, blood would be spilled. "I am sure those of us who choose 
to sleep in on Sundays appreciate the need for tact from those we work
with."
	"Oh, and you respect my beliefs?  This is always about what 
you believe in, what you want to find."
	"Scully, I would be happy to show you respect, as soon as you 
show me some."
	"What the hell does that mean Mulder," she said grabbing the 
ringing phone and hurling it near him. "And answer your god damn phone
I am not the office girl here." The phone slipped out of her grasp and
landed with a plastic crash again the hard cement of the basement 
floor, ceasing its reverie.
	"So now you are throwing things at me Scully?" he asked rising 
from his seat.
	"Mulder, what is the point of my being here, it has become 
painfully obvious that we cannot work together anymore, not under 
these circumstances." She had begun throwing files onto the floor to 
accentuate her point.
	"Obviously," he agreed flinging pencils like darts, and 
slipping on the odd file.
	They're shouting could be heard from the hallway, it had risen 
to a fearful crescendo, culminating into threats of a standoff.  He 
had ventured down to the basement after his phone call went onto 
speaker and heard everything that had been hurled between the two.  
Skinner entered the DMZ not sure what had begun all of this, he 
stepped through the mess precariously not sure if the two agents had 
realized he had come down into their basement. "My office.  Now" he 
monotoned; enjoying the shocked expressions of his two favorite 
agents. "And hang up your damn phone for god sakes."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	He eyed the two from across his desk, it did not take Skinner 
long to decide what to do. "I have known the two of you for a very 
long time." He began, "And even though we never discuss our first 
meeting, I know that has affected the basis of our relationship, both
professionally and otherwise."
	The two agents shifted uncomfortably at the mention of their 
past, not quite ready to discuss it with their boss.
	"Don't look so worried you two; I am still the only one in the 
building who knows."  He dragged a sheet of paper out of his top 
drawer and passed it over to the two agents.
	"Sir?" Mulder asked after reading over the memo, shifting his 
legs in mock discomfort. "I think I am coming down with something..."
	"Save it Mulder, what I walked in on down there was a serious 
breakdown in the communication process of my two agents, I can't make
you two go to couples therapy," Skinner was holding it in as best he 
could. "But I can, as your superior order you two to Team Builders." 
He announced the death sentence as if it were a week at the Pillsbury
Bake Off.
	"Sir I don't think we need this, Agent Mulder and I have been 
under an extreme amount of duress lately and I think that we were just
blowing off a little steam."
	"Agent Scully, I don't want to hear it, and you apologize for 
Mulder way too much, so either you go to this seminar, or you clean 
the office." He was desperate, after losing the love of his life, he 
made it his personal duty to keep these to together, love vicariously
through them. He gave them the info and warned them against trying to
ditch.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"This is your fault Scully." Mulder fumed as they gathered in 
front of the Chevron Station Sunday morning waiting for their ride.
	"My fault?  Mulder who was the one that started all of this, 
and I don't feel like going into this again."
	"I rest my case," he muttered.  In a lot of ways he was 
grateful for the arguing, at least they were talking in a way, and the
anger from her meant that in some way she still cared. "And who threw
the phone?" he jabbed.
	Scully merely huffed and moved to face the opposite direction 
as the car they wren waiting for pulled into the lot.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me you just know
Never meant to be so cold
	Crossfade
	

	They clung to each other in the darkness, she sang to him and 
he laughed at the song she sung. "Scully," he asked sleepily. "Why 
didn't you marry me?" he sounded so pitiful. "Why did you run off to 
California and leave me when I needed you."
	She sighed heavily, given the situation she decided to be as 
honest and non catty as possible. "I was scared Mulder, "she
admitted. 	He seemed to accept that answer as her truth, and why not,
it  was she was terrified of him, of what she felt for him, then and
now.   He slept easily as she cradled his head in her lap, and having
him  this close with out having to listen to him argue back was good ,
she  realized a lot that night as she watched for Moth men that could
come  out of the night.
	She still loved him
      She was still in love with him.
	She had to learn to forgive herself for what went on, all of 
it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	She stood outside of his apartment door; having nearly lost 
him in the forest had her dealing with mortality all over again.  IT 
was time to set things to rights, or at the very least set down some 
long overdue game rules.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"I think you are right Scully, we should hold off of anything 
until we have some answers.  They could haul us off of the X-Files if
they think we are involved, or were involved." He was finally happy 
now, finally ready to accept the way things had gone between the two 
of them.
	She smiled that he was seeing things logically for once. "So 
no more wild fights involving phones?" she asked playfully.
	"Agreed, but I have one request." He stared at her with a look 
on his face she had only seen once before, somewhere on a hot sticky 
night on a beach as they danced close.
	"What?" she asked a little hesitantly.
	"When we find her, we can move on to you and me?" he asked not 
sure how this would be taken.
	"I may be amenable to that Mulder, providing you can behave 
yourself..." Scully smiled
	"I don't know Scully; I don't think you can keep your hands 
off of me..."
	"Dream on G-Man."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(18/26)	

Who is the one that makes you happy
Or maybe
Who is the one always on your mind
And who is the reason you're living for
Who is the reason for
Your smile
	Tesla

      They marked the days in smiles, arguments, and absolute trust. 
Neither one of them forgot about Emily, she was as present as Mulder's
poster or Scully's skepticism.
	When the office burned down, it was a punch to the gut that 
neither one of them expected.  Scully had already been reeling from 
the re-emergence of Diana Fowley, Mulder's ex.  He had shown signs of
holding her to an absolute truth that was once reserved exclusively 
for Scully.
	Dana Scully briefly considered shooting her, especially after 
finding the two of them holding hands and sharing a moment in the 
psych hospital, but knowing Mulder as she did, he would have told her
to put the gun away and stop solving all of her problems with 
violence.
       Scully had scarcely dealt with her newly self actualized 
feelings for Mulder when the possibility of losing him hit her square
in the face.  She had found herself feeling scared for the first time
in her life.  Even when she had her life in danger, Dana Scully still
was not afraid, did not allow herself to slip into fear mode.  For one
she knew she always had back up, and even then she knew she could 
handle the adrenaline that coursed through her veins in the face of 
danger.  Fear was something that she never allowed to take the 
driver's seat; it just was not in the lead.
	This was different, this was personal.
	It was her gig to shut Mulder out, and he was not allowed to 
turn the tables, it was against the obvious rules that she had set 
down.  Damn him

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	Mulder relished in Scully's fear, even though she had not 
admitted her jealousy to him, he knew what she was doing, every 
passive aggressive comment, and even offering to hole up at his 
apartment without being asked, She was trying to stake her territory,
so sue him for enjoying being the one pursued.  He knew which one 
Gibson had alluded to, knew because it was from his mind.
	He was thinking about Scully, and he always had.
	Regardless of how he had felt about Diana or had wanted to 
feel for Diana, the truth was that Scully was the mother of his child,
and the only mother he wanted for any of his children.
	He had just wanted to see her twist for a while, that and 
schmooze Diana enough to get on her good side, so what if he used his
charm to get what he wanted, it worked, pissing Scully off was just an
added and unforeseen perk.
	She had always held all the cards, while she could turn her 
emotions off and close up shop for the season, he was aware that she 
knew well how he felt, and allowed him to hurt from it, allowed him to
pine for her in the wee small hours of the night, sipping on his pain
and nursing his long sore wounds.
	Mulder refused all others, and he knew she did too, they were 
obsessed with their work, but they were also obsessed with each
other. 	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
	
Everyone needs somebody
And you know
Everybody needs someone
And I guess it's true
Everybody needs a special kind of 
love
And you're the only one 
I'm dreaming of
You mean the world to me
You are my only
	Tesla

	"I love you" his face twinkled with the realization of what he 
had admitted to her, he was ready for what would come next, good or 
bad he had to let her know how he felt.  He found a huge weight being
removed from his chest, as if the telling of this significant thing 
had freed him more so than he had thought.  This thing he knew, above
all else and above all others, it was this thing that he could say he
understood and found tangible- Scully.
	Scorching with anticipation for her to speak, waiting to hear 
if he would rejoice or lay back down with yet another Scully induced 
broken heart.  Dream or not, that Scully there made him want more in 
reality.
	"Oh brother." Was all she could manage, knowing that he was 
heavily medicated and not responsible for his actions.  But she could
not deny to herself how much she had wanted him to be speaking from 
the heart.
	He knew she wanted to tell him, Mulder knew how she felt, even 
if Scully was not sure of her own feelings, Mulder was, and he made it
his mission to find their daughter in the hopes that they could focus
on each other that they could fall in love the right way.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	"Mulder, what are you doing out there?  We are supposed to be 
doing background checks." Even if they were two hundred million miles
away from each other and on coconut phones, Mulder would still be able
to tell how truly pissed off his partner was.  He had ditched her once
again, but this time he had a really really good reason.  Or so he 
thought.
	"There was a case here Scully, a baby disappeared."
	"I'm sure the local authorities can handle this Mulder." She 
hated sounding like a nagging wife, but that is what he typically 
reduced her to.
	"Scully, this one is different, this one is too much like-"he 
stopped mid sentence, it was what he had caught wind of in this case 
that led him to retrieve the file out of Spender's round file.
	"Mulder this is not the same." She was almost ready to climb 
through the phone and ring her partner's adorable neck.
	"Scully, I need to follow this, and I need you to cover me out 
there.  This is for both of us." He needed to find out if this had 
anything to do with the loss of Emily, that this pre-partum baby 
abduction had anything by way of a clue leading him to-Emily.
	His disappointment at the truth in no way hindered his drive 
for justice for the lost baby, finding a need to solve this mystery as
much as he needed to solve his own.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	He smiled as they snuggled into his leather couch, snow 
falling outside of his apartment in white sheets of cotton.  They 
hunkered close together in rapt attendance of the presents that they 
had exchanged with each other.  Mulder marveled at her twinkling 
smile, attacking her present like a fourth grader.
	She finally spent a Christmas with him, and for that he could 
say that yes, there really was a Santa Claus.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	

I feel so lonely and I know
I'm not the only one
To carry on this way
I love you so much 
I lose track of time
Lose track of the days
	Tesla

	There she went again, showing up in their lives and turning 
everything on its ear, and still he believed her, and still he chose 
her of Scully over and over again.
	What the hell was that about?
	Scully was to the point of walking away, of saying to hell 
with Mulder and the quests, he could have his long legged ex wife and
all of her bull
	Fuck it.
	Mulder would not listen to her, and she had no way to come off 
as anything other than a jealous-what? Ex girlfriend?  Ex lover?
	She stood at his door, after Spender had left the Bureau, 
offering his position on the X- files to them, practically demanding 
that they take the office again.  She was happy, wanted to share this
moment with Mulder, wanted to celebrate, maybe even hash some things 
out.  See, Diana had once again done her disappearing act, and as she
stood in front of Mulder's door, bottle of wine in hand, she was ready
to gloat, and to 'help' him pick up the pieces.
	Smiling, she knocked on his door, knowing that she would win, 
knowing that in the end, given the final countdown, it would be her 
and Mulder, just as they had pledged in that hospital room over twenty
years before, barely children, they had sworn to each other to always
be there, to always be with one another.  Even through Diana, and the
loss of their baby, they knew inherently that it was always the two of
them-always.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	He ushered her in, without even a word or gesture, Mulder let 
his eyes speak for him; something he knew drove Scully absolutely 
crazy.  He knew she loved his eyes, and he played off of that as much
as he could.
	She went right for the couch and dug herself in, familiar with 
their friendship and comfortable in his surroundings, he found himself
slipping in right next to her, glued to the spot near her as a moth to
a flame.  He had no free will when it came to this woman, and he did 
not want to find it suddenly either.
	"Mulder," she began a little wary of where the conversation 
would go. "I'm sorry about Diana."
	"What's there to be sorry about Scully?" he asked with the 
same glint in his smile, the very one that she remembered the day she
stood up to another ex girlfriend of his with the same name. "You keep
me honest Scully, I know that whole thing with Diana was hard for you,
and I am sorry but you have to understand that I had to play along 
with her for a time, I know she knows about Emily."
	Mulder's admission struck her hard, square in the face and 
right between the eyes. "You were playing her." She sighed.
	"And you," he admitted further. "I had to seem to be on her 
side, do you get that?" he asked, needed her to see what he had done,
for her.
	She nodded solemnly, understanding Mulder's cat and mouse 
game, finally getting what he had done and why. "Did she come forward
with anything?" Scully did not mean to sound so hopeful, but she 
needed to know.
	"No," he dipped his head down in shame. "I had so much hope to 
finally get to the truth on that one single thing.  The only thing I 
managed to uncover was how seriously fucked up my DNA is."
	Scully listened as Mulder told her, everything about how his 
father had been not his father at all.  She wanted to cry for him, to
discover such ugliness in your past was sickening, and that the roots
of the conspiracy went so much deeper than anyone could dig out. "He 
was there." She spoke suddenly as Mulder sat silent from exposing his
deepest secrets.
	"Who, what?" he asked confused.
	"CSM, he was there when we were kids and I found you in the 
hospital, it was him I think that saved you." She had never spoke of 
things from before, not in this way.  The two old friends had long 
learned to gloss over that time in their lives and only refer to the 
things that were necessary, the things that drove them further on.
	Mulder stared at her in complete and utter horror. "And you 
never bothered to mention it to me?" he asked flabbergasted.
	"Well it's not as if we go over all of our history on a 
regular basis Mulder." She defended.
	"Granted, but that is the kind of thing I think we should have 
discussed.  What did he say to you?"
	"Nothing really, merely assured me that you would awake soon, 
and that you would never be..." she looked into his eyes as she 
trailed off, not sure how to explain the rest.
	Mulder nodded and looked away from Scully, not wanting her to 
see the distaste crawl over his expression, distaste not for her, but
for himself, for the blood that he now knew coursed through him.
	"It doesn't mean anything Mulder, you are who you are, not 
what your DNA makes you up to be." She was trying to reassure him.
	"This from a medical doctor." He sneered, still not looking 
into her eyes.
	"Mulder," she plaintively reached for his hand, he pulled 
away. "Don't shut me out, you have to let someone in."
	Mulder snorted at her words, words he himself had pleaded to 
her.
	"When I left medical school, I was on an OB rotation; I had 
everything figured out in my life, at least up until that point." She
drew a ragged breath and went on. "Mulder I had to find what was 
important within me, not from anywhere else." She was trying to 
explain something to him, something so fundamental she was sure even 
his analytical mind would catch, even in its beaten state.
	He did nod in understanding, Mulder got what she was saying, 
and he was more than grateful to have her here with him, finally.
	They clung to each other for a time longer than either one 
noted, and when she felt Mulder's body give over to the solemn tomb of
sleep, she gently disentangled herself from his strong arms, covered 
him and slipped out for home.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You're the one that makes me happy 
Oh baby you're the one always on my mind 
And I guess it's true 
You are my reason, my one and only 
That I've been living for Why can't forever be? 
Forever and nothing more
	Tesla

	Home never really felt like home to Dana Scully.  Her things 
were there, and her rent was due every first of the month, but still 
it never felt like home.  Something was always missing, something tall
and paranoid.
	She had her routine down. Walk in the door, kick off the 
shoes, drop the keys on the small table to be found easily later, and
hit the play button on the answering machine.
	The first two messages were from her mother and a 
telemarketer, nothing spectacular, almost expected.
	It was the third message that made her knees give way from 
under her, buckling and landing Dana Scully crumpled onto the floor in
a heap, dragging herself across her living room to her answering 
machine.
	"Umm....Hi you don't know me but....I don't know how to say 
this.  Did you give birth to a daughter April 29 1980?" I think I am 
her, and I have been looking for you for a while."
	
No One Is To Blame (19/26)

Dear Mother Dear Father
What is this hell you have put me through?
Believer, Deceiver
Day in Day out live my life through you
Pushed onto me what's wrong or right
Hidden from this thing that they call 
life
	Metallica

      They drove along in silence, the excitement hovering in the air.
  She had found them, and that alone attested at least to half of her
parentage.
      Mulder would turn to glance at the woman at his side, anxious to
read her face for some emotion that would be safe to bring up his 
fears.  What if this was another Emily?  What if this was another in a
long line of errant sources that would eventually hang them out to 
dry.  He had taken the precaution of telling the only other person he
could think of where they were off to, and for what reason.  So just 
in case things went bad, Skinner would know where to go looking for 
the bodies.
      Mulder not only admired Scully's faith, he envied it, and she 
was so sure that this was their daughter.  The girl had left her 
number, and Scully had called him before calling the girl.
	She had been in Alexandria the whole time, having been raised 
in the DC area for the last seventeen years of her life.  Scully had 
agreed to meet her at a restaurant that the two agents knew well, had
often gone there for lunch.
	"Are you nervous?" he asked Scully, trying to make any form of 
small talk as they eased into the parking lot of the diner.  He smiled
at her silent nod. "Me too," he offered.
	They walked into the diner, each looking around to find the 
girl they had come to see. "There she is." Mulder nodded towards what
could best be described as a taller brunette version of Scully.  With
his hand resting in the gentle small of her back, Mulder led Scully 
over to the booth of the Hazel-eyed woman.
	"Wow," the girl smiled. "I never thought you would bring a 
date." Scully smiled to herself, yet another Mulder trait- always a 
joke.
	"Actually," Scully began as they seated themselves across from 
her. "This is Fox Mulder." She smiled at the look exchanged between 
the two. "Fox Mulder, this is Kyrie Sloane."
	Father and daughter examined each other from across the fake 
wood table, searching each other for similar features. "At least you 
didn't get the Mulder nose." He smiled.
	"So you two are still together?" she asked, trying not to 
sound too upset.
	Scully and Mulder eyed each other as if trying to find the 
right words to explain their friendship. "We're partners." Scully 
offered.
	"Well, obviously," Kyrie gave them a smile that Mulder had 
only seen on one other person.
	"No, not like that." Scully spoke too fast. "I mean at work."
	"Is that how you two met?" Kyrie looked from one to the other, 
desperate for answers, for truths.
	Again the two agents passed looks between each other, this 
time Mulder spoke. "What do you know about us?" he asked in his usual
interrogatory manner.
	"The adoption agency said that you two were young when you had 
me, and the records show that you were 16 Ms. Scully, and that You Mr.
Mulder were 19."
	"Adoption agency?" Scully managed through a cloud of 
disbelief. "What adoption agency?"
	"Yeah, the one that placed me with the Sloanes.  The records 
list you two as having kept me til I was two, then turning me over for
adoption.  So what happened?  Did you get bored with me, or was I in 
the way of all the fun?" Kyrie had the eyebrow up, a characteristic 
that did not go unnoticed by Mulder, Oh yeah, he mused, that's a 
Scully.
	"Two years?" Scully was desperately trying to make sense of 
all of this, trying to understand what Kyrie was implying.
	"Yeah, anyway you wanted to know what I know and that is it, 
your names, ages when I was born, and how old I was when you got rid 
of me.' Kyrie folded her arms in anticipation of their ire.
	Silence sat at the table, right between the three, until 
finally Mulder spoke up. "We did not get rid of you Kyrie."
	"Uh huh." Mulder noted she spoke the infamous Scully phrase 
with almost perfect execution.
	"Mulder is right Kyrie,. I don't know what you have been told 
but most of it is a lie.  We never agreed to put you up for adoption;
in fact we have been looking for you for almost twenty years."
	Kyrie glared at the two agents, and while Scully found her 
expression unreadable, Mulder could tell at one hundred paces what the
look on Kyrie's face meant.  It was the same look he got every time 
the word extraterrestrial got thrown around in the basement.
	"Kyrie, I know this is hard to believe and I know every 
adoptive parent says the same thing, or something like it but we are 
really telling the truth here." Scully leaned forward trying to gain 
Kyrie's trust.
	"I want to believe you," she began, eliciting a smirk from 
Mulder. "But if I was abducted or kidnapped, wouldn't there be proof? 
I mean wouldn't there be some kind of trail or police investigation?"
	"There was." Mulder interjected. "But for whatever reason it 
was ended only a few days after you disappeared.."
	"Right," Kyrie nodded, "And you have spent your entire lives 
since then looking for me is that it?  Tell me, what do you two do for
a living anyway?  You said you were partners, business partners?  
Cause I don't see how the average person could have enough time in 
their lives to work, manage a personal life, and look for a long lost
daughter.""
	Simultaneously, as if on cue, Mulder and Scully reached into 
their coats and produced their FBI badges, waving them in front of the
young woman as if to answer all of her questions. "Wow," was all she 
could manage.
	"Yeah," Mulder added in his usual deadpan voice "Wow."
	Kyrie gaped at the two of them for an elongated moment. "So 
you two didn't give me up?"
	Mulder and Scully shook their heads in the negative.
	"And you have been using your federal resources to try to find 
me?"
	Again both agent heads moved, though in the affirmative this 
time.
	"Wow." Kyrie shook her head trying to take all of this in. 
"So, what do you two do over there?  I mean when you are not looking 
for me," She grinned, trying to turn things to a lighter topic.
	They knew this was coming, "we uh," Scully began clearing her 
throat.
	"We investigate unsolved cases for the Bureau." Mulder 
rescued.
	"You mean like cold cases?" Kyrie asked sipping her diet soda.
	"Something like that." Scully smiled.
	"Something like what?  I mean don't mince words here, I was 
just asking a question then you two go all J Edgar on me.  Geez."
	"X-Files." Mulder spat out not wanting to begin his 
relationship with his daughter on the same lies he had been raised on.
"We investigate unsolvable cases.  Strange phenomena, lights in the 
sky..."
	"Little grey men?" Kyrie asked, suddenly turning white.
	Scully threw Mulder an 'oh shit' look, "Yeah, they are grey, 
but most people don't know that unless..."
	"You've seen them haven't you Kyrie?" Great, Mulder thought, 
now my kid is an X-File.
	Kyrie suddenly found her ice cubes more interesting than 
looking into the tall man that was her biological father. "So what if
I have,"
	Mulder came around the table to sit next to Kyrie. "I am not 
trying to scare you here kiddo, but we deal with this kind of thing 
every day.  Scully here was abducted for three months a few years 
back."
	"Mulder that was never proven..." But Mulder waved away her 
argument.
	"Kyrie, why don't you come back to our office, we can take our 
lunch to go."
	It was against everything she had promised herself, but Kyrie 
found her head nodding as they got up and made their way to the Hoover
building.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mother Dear Father
Every thought I think you disapprove
Curator, dictator
Always censoring my every move
No guarantees its life as is
But damn you for not giving me my chance
	Metallica

	"The basement?" Kyrie asked as they got off the elevator. 
"They keep you two in the basement?  What are they afraid of putting 
you out into polite society?"
	Scully was again struck at how much Kyrie's sense of humor 
mimicked Mulder's. "Yeah, they don't like us much around here." She 
smirked. "Mostly because Mulder has a way of pissing people off."
	"You wound me Scully." He smiled as he unlocked the door to 
the office.
	"You guys work down here?  So how come there is only one desk 
and one name plate?"
	Mulder cleared his throat as Scully nudged his ribs. "We are 
working on that." He offered the young girl.
	"So how did you two meet anyway?" Kyrie had positioned herself 
into Mulder's seat, behind his desk.
	"She landed on me." Mulder piped, ducking the Scully glare.
	"What?" Kyrie asked once again raising her eyebrow.
	Scully went on to explain their first meeting, only stopping 
long enough to allow Mulder to interject his theory of events, which 
she promptly shot down.
	"God and you two have been married how long?" Kyrie asked 
leaning her head back against the chair.
	"We're not." Mulder insisted
	"What?" Kyrie asked in disbelief, bringing her long legs down 
from the top of the desk. "But I thought you two..."
	"Nope, we were only together once." Scully blushed.
	"Wow," Kyrie shook her head. "It just seems like you two are 
so familiar with one another.  I had almost hoped that I had a sibling
somewhere."
	"Sorry," they said together.
	"So only once huh, was it that bad?" Kyrie grinned.
	It was Mulder's turn to blush; he looked down at his hands 
before answering. "We just never really found the time, after we lost
you, we kinda went our separate ways, and ..." he trailed.
	"We were angry with each other for a long time, and then we 
ended up working together.  We had to work on forgiveness, and I think
we finally have it down." Scully tussled Mulder's hair in a rare show
of affection, sitting there the three of them felt so natural and 
right that she could not help it.
	"You blamed each other, so how did I get lost anyway?" Kyrie 
had begun to thumb through loose files that had been left on top of 
Mulder's desk.
	Again the two agents told the story to Kyrie, in that shared 
dialect that made the young woman wonder how they kept off of each 
other for so long.  Kyrie tried to keep up, and open minded but when 
Mulder came to the part about his sister her ears perked up. "What?" 
she asked for about the millionth time that day. "Your sister was 
abducted by aliens?" oh brother she mused great now I really believe I
am crazy, and I have the genetic proof of my insanity sitting right 
across from me sporting a hideous tie.
	"I don't want to go into this." Scully rose and walked out of 
the office, her heels clicking as she left.
	"Mr. Mulder," Kyrie asked hesitantly.
	"Just Mulder is fine Kyrie." He offered to the young woman.
	"Who would steal me for two years and then stick me in an 
adoption agency.  I mean the whole thing seems so far fetched.  To 
what end would my being taken from you two serve?  You were just a 
couple of teens that made one bad decision." She had wanted to pose 
this question for a while, but had waited til Ms. Scully left he room,
Kyrie got the impression she busted this Mulder's balls on a regular 
basis.
	"There are answers to those questions Kyrie, and I have seen 
things that would lead me to give answers that are those of extreme 
possibilities."
	"Like the little grey men?"
	"Kyrie, where have you seen them?"
	Kyrie looked Mulder in the eyes. "They have taken me before 
too." She whispered. "I hate them, they have done things to me since I
could remember."
	Mulder reached across the desk to hold the hand of the 
daughter he had only seen in his dreams. "S'ok Kyrie, I know all of 
this is a lot to deal with all at once."
	"That's just it Mulder." Kyrie sniffed. "I have been dealing 
with this for a long time now.  Nothing you have said or will say will
surprise me at this point.  But I think that partner of yours may not
feel the same way."
	"Welcome to the X-Files Kyrie." Mulder smiled.
	
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No One Is To Blame (20/26)

In the empire of the senses
You're the queen of all you survey
All the cities all the nations
Everything that falls your way
There is a deeper wave than this
That you don't understand
There is a deeper wave than this
Tugging at your hand
Sting

      He had decided to go find Scully; she had gone ten minutes ago 
after he mentioned something to Kyrie about Samantha and her 
disappearance.  "Can you hang out for a while here Kyrie?" he asked 
popping another sunflower seed. "I have to go find Scully; I think she
may have fallen in."
	He rose and exited the office after Kyrie agreed, nodding her 
acceptance of being left to fly solo.  Secretly she was happy for the
alone time in the small yet somehow comforting office.  She took the 
time to wander around the room, picking up pictures or reading hastily
tacked headlines.  "I have just crossed over into the Twilight Zone."
She smirked fingering the post it notes and odd photos.
	Smiling, feeling that she had gotten a good interpretation of 
her surroundings, Kyrie dropped into the desk chair usually housed by
Mulder and begun her search of the lone desk.
	She came across the pencils accidentally, having leaned the 
chair back to a near break leg position; Kyrie stared up at the 
pencils stuck into the ceiling.
	"Our tax dollars hard at work." she quirked, absently roaming 
through the desk until she came across the stash of finely sharpened 
implements.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Every ripple on the ocean 
Every leaf on every tree 
Every sand dune in the desert 
Every parting of the sea 
There is a deeper wave than this 
Swelling in the world 
There is a deeper wave than this 
Listen to me girl 
Sting

	He had waited for her outside of the Ladies bathroom, it was 
the same one she had often retreated to have a good silent cry, barely
used for its proximity to the realms of Spooky; he knew Scully would 
go there for her private loss of emotional control.
	"You stalking me?" she asked half jokingly.
	"What is up with you Scully?  I had to leave Kyrie in there 
alone to come see if you had taken off for California again." He 
hadn't intended to go directly for the jugular, but that is what she 
brought out in him.
	Scully began to clip ahead of him until they found a quiet 
corner to argue in. "I just don't see why you have to bring out all 
that Spooky crap in front of her, we just found her and you are trying
to run her off." She folded her arms and took the long used skeptical
stance.
	"I'm not scaring her off Scully, if you noticed you are the 
only one that ran, but then you are good at that aren't you?"
	She looked as if to slap him, but a flicker of a long ago 
argument on the vineyard halted her hand into a flinch. "Mulder," she
began after getting her emotions under control. "I just got her back,
can we please find out what her favorite color is before we find out 
how many times she'd been abducted?"
	Mulder understood that, she wanted to enjoy having a daughter 
before filing her away into one of the cabinets downstairs.  He nodded
and pulled her into a hug. "She is something huh?" he asked with a 
glint of pride.
	"Yeah, she is." Scully agreed nodding into his chest.
	"Ok, no spooky talk today, today we learn about our daughter." 
Just saying it made him want to smile and jump in the air.
	They walked down the hall to the stairs, he with his hand on 
her back, and she leaning into him, just a little more than usual.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Feel it rising in the cities
Feel it sweeping over land
Over borders over frontiers
Nothing will its power stand
There is no deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is no deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl
Sting

	Skinner had tried to wait as long as he could to find out how 
things had gone at their lunch.  Kim was nice enough to inform him of
Mulder and Scully's return to the Hoover building and the AD decided 
to pop in downstairs for an update.  Secretly he felt like he was 
being left out of the loop on this one, he had a right to know, he had
been the hero twenty years ago.
	He stepped into the office without knocking, getting the 
impression that no one was there he had planned on leaving a covert 
note pinned to the poster, a gentle reminder to keep him informed of 
pertinent information.  Skinner was not prepared for the vision that 
greeted him instead of the empty office.
	She was seated where Mulder usually rested, pencils lined up 
in front of her, and poised in mid fling. "I'm sorry," he stumbled at
the young woman. "I was looking for Agents Mulder and Scully."  He 
stopped in mid sentence, as she had in mid pencil throw. "Do I know 
you?" he asked.
	She shook her head and continued to glare at the bald man, not 
sure how to explain her existence in a governmental office.  Not that
being where she did not belong was exactly foreign to her. "No," she 
finally answered. "They stepped away for a minute, something about 
examining crop mutilations or investigating cow circles...or something
like that." She smirked and it was here that Skinner realized he did 
know her; it was here that he realized he was speaking with the 
amalgamation of his two favori8te agents.  Only Mulder had a perverse
sense of humor like that, and those eyes were Mulder shaded Scully 
orbs.
	"Hey," she quipped. "Take a picture it will last longer.'
	Skinner had not realized he was staring, and again he had to 
smile.  Oh yeah there was another Mulder wandering loose. "Sorry Miss.
  You just remind me of someone."
	Kyrie must have gotten this one because she returned his smile 
and cocked her head. "Yeah, I am sure. I'm Kyrie Sloane." She smiled 
leaning into the handshake she offered to him.
	"AD Skinner. " Skinner shook the girl's hand happily, honored 
to meet the myth, and happy to find a closure to a case that bothered
him for over twenty years.
	"So, do you work down here too?" Kyrie mindlessly rocked in 
the chair back and forth, she had always been accused of having an 
overabundance of mostly nervous energy.
	"No, I am the Assistant Director I oversee this division.."
	"Oh, you are the supervisor." Kyrie smiled
	"Yeah, I guess I am."
	"How do you let them get away with all of this?" she asked 
motioning around the office, "I mean don't get me wrong, but aren't 
there real investigations out there?"
	Skinner grinned, he just came face to face with the Scully 
side of this girl, and he could not help but smirk. "There is room in
the FBI for all things Miss Sloane, and Mulder and Scully do provide a
needed service around here-hard as that is to believe."
	Kyrie bit down on the end of the pencil she had previously 
planned to rejoin with its brethren, as if contemplating this. "So 
they must have a pretty busy existence, I mean those two don't seem to
have any other life than this."
	"Their work does keep them busy, but most of it was looking 
for you.  "He admitted.
	"So you would agree they are obsessed with their work, maybe a 
little too obsessed."
	Skinner sighed here, not sure how to continue, he realized he 
was facing the Mulder interrogation genes now and knew from experience
to tread lightly, she may possess Scully's love for weapons. "They 
were obsessed with finding you Miss Sloane; they needed to find you 
before they could move on in their lives.  Yes maybe they are to the 
point of obsession, and forsaking everything, their careers, their 
sanity, and even any personal lives. "
	"So are you married or does the FBI discourage that in all of 
their employees."
	"Yeah I guess you met your- Mulder and Scully huh?" Skinner 
smiled stuffing his hands into his pockets. "No I am married and 
actually in a lot of ways I can thank these two down here for that." 
He smiled feeling oddly comfortable talking with this young woman.
	"Really?" she asked in almost an incredulous tone. "Don't tell 
me you took love advice from those two? I don't think those two have 
been on a date since, well at least two presidents ago."
	"Well, let's say I have known of you for quite some time, and 
I am the only one here that knows of you Kyrie." Skinner was not sure
how much she knew about her disappearance.
	"Ok, now you are gonna go all Spy vs. Spy on me, you guys do 
they teach a class here on how to evade questioning?" she spun around
in Mulder's chair hard and fast as if to accentuate her irritation.
	"That's not really the-"
	Mulder and Scully entered the office, a little quieter and 
more stony faced than usual. "SO," Mulder began nodding toward Kyrie.
"I see you two have met." He glanced over to Skinner long enough to 
grace him with a see I told you so look.
	Kyrie smiled at the reappearance of the couple, quirking her 
mouth as she answered. "Yeah, we are getting along famously."
	Mulder slid onto the desk as Scully leaned up against the file 
cabinet, "Kyrie." Scully began after clearing her throat. "We wanted 
to ask you a few questions if that's all right."
	"Sure, but don't I get a phone call first?"  Mulder flashed 
Scully a smile that spoke volumes.
	"We just want to know how all this happened, you have to 
understand Kyrie, your disappearance really screwed us up for a long 
time, and your finding us is well, awfully fortuitous." Mulder was 
trying to sugar coat things, but what he really wanted to say was turn
around and let me get a good look at the back of your neck Sweety.
	"Ok, shoot." Kyrie was obviously not offended by the tone 
their meeting had taken on, after having rummaged around their office,
she got the distinct impression that these two were a little
paranoid. 	"First off I want to get the name of the adoption agency
that  handled your placement; you said you got information from them,
about  us.  I would like to go and see what they know." Mulder fiddled
around  for a pen and pad a paper.
	"Beacon Hope, but they aren't going to be of much help, I got 
everything that they have." She smiled.
	"Well, that's why they put the 'I' in FBI Kyrie." Mulder 
smirked before continuing in his best Commander Klink voice. "Vee have
vays of making them tock."
	"I have everything Mulder, I can assure you; I went through 
the files myself..."
	Scully Skinner and Mulder exchanged looks before Scully spoke. 
"They let you go through the files?"
	"Not officially." Kyrie retorted, now it's my turn to go all J 
Edgar she silently snickered.
	Scully flashed Mulder a glare that was both accusatory and 
expectant. "Yeah, ok I get that." She smiled at the young woman.
	"What about your parents Kyrie, your adopted parents where are 
they?"
	Kyrie ducked her head, examining her lap. "When I was thirteen 
years old, I came home from school to an empty house, now mind you 
that was not a completely unusual event.  My parents were both busy 
people.  Mom taught high school, and well Dad had a full time job as 
Underwear Inspector, but somewhere in-between he managed to run a car
dealership." she sighed before going on. "Anyway, I get home, and you
know I hang out and its getting late, and they are not home yet.  So I
figure, ok they went out, or whatever.  No biggie."
	Mulder could sense that Kyrie was building up to something, 
some awful crescendo that was both painful and shocking, the air was 
thick with it as she spoke. "If you don't want to talk about it its ok
Kyrie." The psychologist in him spoke.
	"Well anyway,' she went on without acknowledging Mulder's 
empathy. "So I get up the next morning, you know and I ran into my 
Mom's room, I wanted to ask for some Mall money, nothing major you 
know a couple of twenties or something like that."
	Oh God. Mulder raved internally. She found them
	"There were three bodies in my parents' bedroom, my dad and a 
woman were sprawled in the bed, and my mother was crumpled onto the 
floor.  It was obvious at least to me what had happened, Mom walked in
on yet another one of Dad's 'endeavors," probably surprised them in 
the middle of some afternoon delight from the looks of it.  She 
snapped, killed them then killed herself."
	The office was so quiet you could here the servers in the next 
room over whirring as they fielded the inter office traffic.  They had
no idea what to say to this girl that had obviously seen something 
that seasoned agents would have lost it on.
	Scully finally found some words to say. "I'm so sorry you had 
to live through that Kyrie, have you seen anyone about it?"
	"Oh well yeah, social services made me do the whole therapy 
two step, but by the time I was sixteen I was ready to change that 
tune.  So with the help of what my parents left me and a lawyer that 
social services steered me to, I got my emancipation, went off on my 
own. "
	Mulder was struck at the sheer independence of the girl, that 
she had inherited Scully's sense of self sufficiency really floored 
him.  "So you have lived on your own since you were sixteen?"
	"Yeah and that is when I started searching I didn't even know 
I was adopted until after their death, and it was completely 
accidental that I found out.  So I began to work backwards, got my 
original birth certificate with all the names crossed off, and had to
go from there."
	"So it took you almost four years to find us? Mulder asked 
almost disappointed
	Kyrie cast a sidelong glance at Mulder. "Ok, let's remember I 
don't; have the resources of the entire vast network of the federal 
government, I was a sixteen year old kid barely able to drive and I 
had to keep the lights on, the rent paid and the fish fed.'
	"Sorry," Mulder grumbled.
	Scully was not so easily put off.  "How did you find us anyway 
Kyrie?"
	"Finding the adoption agency was easy, they were listed on the 
adoption papers I found while cleaning out my parents house.  See when
you become a ward of the state, and there are no relatives to step up
and help, they close everything off until you reach of age, the 
government takes over the estate until you are legally able to do so."
  She smiled at the wayward looks the three were giving to her. "So I
went to Beacon Hope, and they were not really forthcoming with 
information, said that I had to be eighteen to get that.  After I told
them to go to hell they told me to get out and come back in two years,
preferably without the chip on my shoulder."
	They all laughed there, "So what happened then?" Scully asked 
trying to move the girl along.
	"We-ell, I'm not the most patient person in the world, and 
living in a state run group home for three years had taught me a few 
things-things that usually one wouldn't pick up until after doing life
in a penitentiary.."
	"You broke in didn't you?" Mulder asked, while Scully and 
Skinner noted that they could almost detect a hint of fatherly pride 
in his query.
	 "I ain't saying nothing without a lawyer present," she 
smiled. "But once I had your names I figured it had to be easy to find
a guy named Fox, I mean come on how many of you are there out there? 
Unfortunately, there were no Fox Mulders or F. Mulders in the phone 
book, or any other data bases I had access to. "
	Mulder silently kicked himself for listing his phone under M. 
F. Luder for so long, could have saved the poor kid a lot of lonely 
holidays.
	"And Dana Scully and D. Scully were all unlisted.  It wasn't 
until I did a internet search to see if your names were listed 
anywhere.  That's when I came across the Dana Scully on the Scully 
family website."
	It was something her aunt had started years ago, Maureen 
Scully had begun to poke through the family tree and name all the 
vines.  Little did she know what this genealogical act would shake 
free from the branches.  And though for professional reasons she had 
declined to have her picture on the website, there were other pictures
of family there, along with a generalized idea of her location.
	"Once I discovered that you lived in the DC area, I knew I was 
on to something, I had a point of origin.  The pictures of people on 
that website looked too...familiar.  Especially a Melissa Scully."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All the bloodshed, all the anger
All the weapons all the greed
All the armies all the missiles
All the symbols of our fear
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the world
There is a deeper wave than this
Listen to me girl
Sting

	Mulder had to admit, his daughter was tough, not in the gun 
toting kick your ass way that Scully held the trophy for, although 
Mulder was sure that Kyrie had that down too.  Kyrie was tough in a 
way that living alone with no one to have your back would make you.  
She had spent three years in a group home run by social services, 
three years of watching your back even in your sleep, learning the 
streets and culturing that hard edge that covered every inch of her.
	She was also beautiful, long brown hair, legs that went on 
forever, and her eyes were the perfect culmination of his and 
Scully's.
	He thought she was perfect.
	Scully hovered over the young girl, after their little meeting 
in the office; Scully could not manage to pull herself away from her. 
Forget the fact that Kyrie had cared for herself when no one else 
seemingly cared for her, forget the strength that dripped out of every
pore of this girl, Scully felt a maternal need to shelter her, to 
protect her from all that she had already seen.
	They hung out in the basement, long after Skinner had excised 
himself muttering something about being one of the only people in the
office that had real work to do.
	"He seems nice,"
	Mulder and Scully nodded at this. "We've known him a long 
time, he was there when you went missing, and he helped to look for 
you.' Mulder smiled at the memory of a younger if not hairier
Skinner. 	"Really?  Does that get in the way of your professionalism?"
	"It did at first; we did not know if we could trust him, we 
didn't know whose side he was on.'
	Kyrie nodded as if she understood, though she only 
comprehended on a small level. "So, I guess I should get going, I have
kept you away from your cushy government jobs for far too long today."
She rose and lifted her arms in the air, stretching in a way that 
reminded Mulder so much of Scully he was almost knocked backwards.
	Scully could not hide her displeasure at the mention of Kyrie 
taking her leave. "There is so much we have to talk about Kyrie.  
Where do you go to school?  What's your major?  What kind of music do
you like?  Are you dating..."
	"Georgetown, Sociology, Elvis is king, and no I don't have the 
time.  Anyway we have each other now, and I don't see any of us going
anywhere." She threw an arm around Scully. "You can't get rid of me 
again so quickly Scully."
	Scully looked like a woman about to break, something Mulder 
was not used to seeing in her, he was accustomed to the strong stolid
woman who hid every emotion other than wit and fortification. "Elvis 
huh?  Ever been to Graceland?"

	xxxxxx

	"So, what did you think Scully?" they had camped out on 
Scully's couch, armed with too much take out and a B-movie.
	"I think I don't like the idea of her being so alone." She 
insisted.
	Mulder nodded but pushed the conversation. "What do you think 
of her Scully?"
	Scully sighed before she answered. "She is so much like you in 
so many ways..."
	"I noticed she was a lot like you."
	Scully nodded at this and nudged in a little closer to Mulder. 
"Wow," she said in mock exaltation of Kyrie.
	"Yeah I never thought we would be sitting here discussing our 
daughter." He added.
	"And she has had such a rough life..."
	"It's made her stronger Scully.  I think, I think she could 
give you a good run for your money." He oofed at the elbow the remark
earned him.
	Scully nodded in agreement and sighed. "I wish we had the last 
twenty years with her." She dreamed aloud
	Mulder shook his head. "Somehow we need to find out how this 
all happened Scully.  Someone needs to pay for her.  She deserved a 
real family, not the Movie of the Week one she has been living.  
Although looking at us I don't know if we would have been able to give
her too much better."
	"That's not true Mulder, I happen to believe you would have 
made a great Dad." She admitted. "I think Kyrie would have been one 
lucky, if not spoiled, little lady."
	Mulder smiled at Scully's observations, yeah he would have 
spoiled her, and maybe she would have had those siblings she longed 
for.
	"I have to tell Mom I found her.  I want them to meet.' Scully 
rose and ran for the phone, Mulder listened as Scully gushed her good
news across the phone lines.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

	Kyrie kicked her shoes across the living room floor before 
dashing a few flakes into her fish tank.  She hopped into her recliner
with a huff and clicked through a few channels before resting on an 
old episode of Star trek.  A black cat landed in her lap.
	"Hey Spooky," she smiled at the purring beast. "Have I got a 
story for you kid.'
	For his part, the black cat dug deep into her lap, clawing at 
her faded jeans and growling his welcome home.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At the still point of destruction
At the center of the fury
All the angels 
All the devils
All around us
Can't you see?
There is a deeper wave than this
Rising in the land
There is a deeper wave than this
Nothing will its power stand.
Sting

	"He's in the psych ward?" Kyrie could not believe what Scully 
had informed her of, sure Mulder was a little nutty, and she had 
learned over the past couple of months how deep his paranoia went, but
the psyche ward?  "Scully, I know Mulder can be a little eccentric 
but...geez did you really have to have him committed?"
	"It's something neurological Kyrie, I have to go to Africa, I 
have to help fix him, I need you to..." Scully wasn't sure how to ask
this, they were not exactly a family, but over the last few months 
dinners and phone conversations between the three of them had become 
regular and often.  Kyrie had often turned up for impromptu pizza and
movie nights, and had even accompanied them to a Knicks game.
	"What, anything." She smiled as 
if she really needed to say it.
	"I know finals are coming up and I don't want to get in the 
way of that but I have no one else to ask.  Can you kind of keep an 
eye on him there?  I mean go by as often as time permits and --just 
let him know he's not alone." It sounded so pathetic, any other family 
a request like this would not have to be made, shifts would have been 
dolled out graciously.  However, this was no ordinary family.
	Kyrie had come to enjoy their girl talks, and she was starting 
to feel like matchmaker for her own parents.  These two could keep a 
shrink in business for years.  Mulder and Scully were as confused as 
the two lost teenagers she imagined they were twenty years ago.  In a 
lot of ways they never left that beach. "Scully, you never have to 
ask."
	She never stopped to think the oddity of calling her 
biological parents by their last names, it seemed to be the one thing 
that made sense, and though they still called her Kyrie, she did not 
feel left out in the name game.  They had begun to open up to her, 
began to tell her of all the things that they had seen and the choices 
that had lead to her existence.  The prom fiasco, the night of the big 
date, they had left nothing out, for better or worse, even the mild 
insanity that Scully had fallen into before her birth.  They had even 
all gone to see the new Star Wars movie, something any other person 
her age would be mortified to accompany her parents to, but again, 
this was no typical family.  She laughed at the stories of how often 
Mulder had dragged Scully off to see the original, and how she had 
come to enjoy all of the series, on some odd nostalgic level.
	Kyrie had grown to understand things and had found herself 
spending more time down n the basement, reading their files and trying 
to unravel her own mysteries.  She poured over cases that had been 
signed off on, and cases that had yet to be examined.  But when she 
got to the Emily files, things took an odd turn.  Things began to 
really go ape shit.
	She realized why Mulder was so damn paranoid, and in that same 
split second she wondered why everyone else in the world wasn't.
	Kyrie made her way to the hospital, reaching Mulder's room and 
looking through the glass, Skinner smiled as he exited the room and 
she slipped in quietly.
	"Hey Mulder,' she smiled to the seemingly catatonic man in the 
bed. "You must have really pissed Scully off this time, what'd she do 
smack you over the head too hared?  That would be my guess.  Man you 
gotta work on your bobbing and weaving."
	She had half expected him to respond in that way she had 
gotten used to, the same fuck you attitude that she had been accused 
of sporting ever since-well ever since birth.
	She pulled her chair closer to his bed and settled in for the 
night, having brought Shakespeare for company.  She had leaned into 
the back of the chair and began reading Hamlet out loud.
	So much of the title character reminded her of Mulder, driven 
and purposed yet plunging toward madness with the sheer weight of his 
obsession for reprisal.  Even to the point of driving his beloved into 
madness right along with him.
	Oh yeah, she mused, remind me to thank the gene faeries for 
their bestowments.
	When she reached the scene of Hamlet driving off Ophelia and 
impeaching her to go off to a nunnery, or marry a fool she was 
reminded of Scully, pointing Mulder out of her house and sending him 
out into the world without her, mostly because he held to his beliefs.
	"I know you probably can't hear me Mulder, but what the hell I 
guess loving to hear the sound of your own voice is a family trait so 
I am going to talk and you have no choice but to listen." She held 
Mulder's hand and continued.
	"I don't blame either of you for what happened.  I don't think 
I ever told you that, and I probably should have but well anyway.  I 
am so happy to have found the two of you, All of my life I felt like 
an outsider, like I had no permanent place on this planet.  When I met 
the two of you I was a little...disappointed at first.  I guess I 
always imaginged my biological parents to be rich and perfect, you 
know no flaws.  And then I get presented with these two people that 
damn you guys have issues."
	She smiled at her own insights. "I guess what I am trying to 
say is that I love you guys, and I know you did your best to move 
heaven and earth to find me.  I have been reading over some of those 
files of yours, and I gotta tell ya, when you wake up Mulder me and 
you have got to have a nice long chat.  I'd talk to Scully, but I've 
seen how she tears into you, I would hate to see what she really can 
do with that Sig."
	From deep within a silent Mulder heard everything, in his 
state he also understood everything.  He wanted to grab her and scream 
how much he loved her too, and how much her mother scared him to, but 
in the end he just laid there.  Motionless.
	Sighing, she continued to read to the catatonic man.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


I say love is the seventh wave
I say love is the seventh wave
I say love is the seventh wave
I say love is the seventh wave.....