From: spkyteach@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Feb 2001 22:46:10 EST Subject: xfc: New Vignette: No Show Source: xfc Title: No Show Author: Spookyteacher Rating: PG Category: VRHA Spoilers: US8 Archive: Spooky Awards, Epehemeral, HOF are okay. I've already sent it to Gossamer via xfc-atxc. All other site managers who want to archive it-- please just e-mail me (spkyteach@aol.com) where you have it. I want to visit your very tasteful sites! Summary:This is a little vignette dealing with a frustration of some Philes this season- Scully's pregnancy. It's a little schizophrenic: angst and humor. Also, I'm purely guessing about the timeline of Scully's pregnancy. Just how far along is she? Feedback: Please send all comments to spkyteach@aol.com. Notes: The dust cover for this story, along with my other stories, can be found at my archive, http://www.geocities.com/spookyteacher (Spookyteacher's Classroom X). Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunmen, Skinner, Krycek, and the Smoking Man, et al, are the creative property of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Fox Television. You guys have written them so well I can't resist having a go at it myself. I really am a classroom teacher, which is synonymous with POOR. Hint, hint... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ No Show by Spookyteacher ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Where are you? All the tests show you're in there. The doctors say you're in there. So why can't I see you? Well, not see you exactly. I don't want to actually see you until your 40 weeks gestation is over. What I would like to see is my abdomen expanding, telling me that you are in there... growing. Friends who've had babies were all showing by this stage of their pregnancy. So why aren't I? I've gone through the morning sickness, the nausea, dizziness. I've even heard your heartbeat. You must be inside there. So why don't I have any stretch marks, yet? I'm in my second trimester, almost into my third and I still fit in all my suits. Well, my pants did seem tight this morning, but I think that might be water weight after eating all that salty Mexican food last night. I've been really pigging out lately, perhaps from an unconscious desire to gain weight anyway I can. It's not stress. Mulder eats when he's stressed out. I lose my appetite. Of course, not showing does have its advantage: I don't have to tell anyone... yet. I know it's inevitable that I'll have to tell people. Everyone will soon know my secret- my wonderful, unbelievable secret. For now, I know and Skinner knows. Doggett doesn't need to know, yet. I want to tell Mom, but she'll just worry about me. I'm already worried. Pregnant women are usually showing by the fifth month, some even earlier. I'm in my sixth month and have nothing showing. Not even a little "pooch." Part of me wants to be showing, to wear those ugly maternity clothes, and the world to know that I'm carrying Fox Mulder's baby. I think I'll really believe this pregnancy is normal when I can see this baby growing inside me. I could submit to tests. An ultrasound would allow me to check on the baby's growth. An amniocentesis would show if there are any genetic abnormalities. And there are more invasive procedures. I could do any of those, but I won't. I can't. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that someone may want to harm this baby, believing it is some kind of threat. And I'm absolutely terrified that this pregnancy may be... I can't even say it. They took all my ova. They took away my ability to have babies-- so, how did this happen? Well, I'm pretty sure I know how. I hope I know how. I PRAY I know how. I just don't know why I'm not showing. I've wondered if I somehow got the dates wrong, but by now that shouldn't matter since Mulder's been gone almost six months. Six months... I've tried to convince myself that it's okay, that my abdomen will be expanding soon. However, all this damn medical knowledge keeps getting in the way of me believing that. But I want to believe. I do. I just have this strange feeling that someone else is in control of this situation. It's this odd sensation that someone is directing what is happening to me. Since I first started working with Mulder I've had a recurring nightmare that I was a puppet controlled by... who? In my nightmare, I never get to see who's pulling the strings, though I have this strange impression of a man with curly blond hair. I can't explain it. Maybe it's God, but I think not. Little one, I cannot wait until I can feel you inside me and see that you're developing and growing as you should. Soon, I'll be able to hold you, hear you, and smell you. I just hope your Dad will be home by then. Is that what's going on? You're waiting for him to come home? Are you, little one? That would be so Mulder. 2/13/01 Please send feedback to spkyteach@aol.com.