From: "Galatea Cramer" Date: Sat, 04 Mar 2000 01:28:10 EST Subject: Normalcy by Galatea Cramer Source: direct Title: Normalcy Author: Galatea Cramer Email: Galatea122@hotmail.com Rating: PG-13 to be safe Category: MSR, V, AngstLight Spoilers: Mention of the movie and the cancer plot, but those are both dated now, I think. Archive: I'd be honored. Just let me know where so I can come visit. Feedback: Is always greatly appreciated, for better or worse. I'd love to know what you think. Galatea122@hotmail.com Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them. I'll put them back where I found them when I'm finished. Author's Notes: Special thanks to Rachel for the encouraging words! The snow swirled around the Taurus, nearly obscuring the road from view. The rolling drifts from the storm earlier in the week were blowing across the previously cleared road, turning it into a blind slalom. As Mulder maneuvered the vehicle through the drifts, the rear wheels hit a patch of black ice, causing the car to spin out. The car came to a stop, half lodged into a four foot snow drift. "Mulder?" Her voice held none of the accusuing tone he had feared, only concern. He slowly depressed the gas pedal, resulting in a frantic spin of tires and a cloud of airborn snow behind the car. "I think we're stuck, Scully." "Well now I see what immese powers of deduction led you to join the FBI." All she wanted was to be at the house they'd rented for the weekend, snuggled under a down comforter in flannel pajamas, nestled next to Mulder. Being stuck in a snowdrift was not part of the equation. Mulder was silent as he peered through the snow swirling around the car. "I think we should leave the car and try to find someone to take us in for the night." "Are you sure you didn't hit your head when the car spun out? No one takes strangers in for the night, even if they are flashing FBI badges. And we'll probably freeze before we find a house anyway. It would be much better just to stay in the car." She pulled her coat closer around her, as if to emphasize the point. "There's a farm right over there." He gestured to the right side of the windshield, where trees glowed with the illumination of thousands of white lights, ending abruptly as a few spots of light that radiated from the home's window's could be seen. A soft sigh escaped Scully's lips. "Alright, Mulder, we might as well try it." He voice had an air of tired resignation which Mulder failed to notice. "Great, let's go." He opened his door out into the maelstrom of snow, reaching back into the car to offer Scully his hand as she slid across the seat. She took it as she stepped out the door, looking down at the snow dancing around her pumps. Both of their minds wandered, unbidden, to their last adventure in the white world of the Antarctic. Struggling against the storm, they made their way slowly along the quarter mile to the lane leading to the farm. Two stone pillars rose on either side of the lane, bearing a plaque naming the property 'Pays Celeste.' They entered the drive, lined with towering maples whose bare branches had been twined through with white Christmas lights up the length of the drive, creating a softly glowing passage through the storm. The trees braches caught much of the snow, and Scully moved in closer to Mulder. "I feel like I'm walking into Wonderland, or something from a fairy tale. Its so beautiful its surreal." "Apparently the owner chose a name suited to their property." Mulder smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her as close to him as possible as they moved down the luminous drive. The white house blended in with the snow, standing out only by the light flowing from the windows. Scully let out a soft sigh as they made their way out of the tunnel of light and the house appeared fully before them. "It looks like something from 'Gone With the Wind,' Mulder, picked up and dropped in to the middle of Pennsylvania." He chuckled softly at her comment. "Just hope that the owners have a sense of southern hospitality." They made their way one the columned porch of the house, illuminated by a chandelier hanging over the door. Mulder pressed the doorbell and they heard the chimes ringing inside the house. Scully gazed down at their soaked shoes and pants. The door swung open, and the silouhette of a young woman was outlined in the warm light from the interior. She smiled faintly, "Can I help you?" Her pale green eyes took in their bedraggled appearances. Mulder and Scully both took her in, nearly as tall as Mulder, with the slim, lithe body of a dancer. Her golden brown hair was pulled back from her face, but pieces slipped out of the knot to frame her face. She was attired in drawsting khaki pants and a white man's dress shirt, barely buttoned over a pale green tube top. Mulder pulled out his badge as he introduced them, "I'm Agent Fox Mulder and this is my partner Dana Scully. Our car spun out on some black ice and lodged in a snow drift." The woman peered curiously at them. "Let me see your badge." She took it from him and examined it closely. "Alright, it looks like you're really and FBI agent. I've seen enough of these fake badges to tell that it isn't." She closed the badge and gave it back to Mulder. Before she could speak again, a little girl of about six ran out and wrapped her arms up around the woman's hips. "Auntie Lay!!" The little girl was slender, lacking the normal childlike plumpness of a six year old, but with fair skin and eyes the color of the sky. She then turned her eyes to the guests. The woman smiled at Mulder and Scully. Scully averted her eyes as the little girl bounced into view, trying to control the tears that threatened to spring up in her eyes. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Layla Stewart, and while we're exchanging occupations, I'm a television producer, which is why I was curious about your badge--I've seen enough fakes to know. And this," she caressed the little girl's hair, "is my niece Emma." Layla moved back from the doorway and ushered them into the foyer of the house. "Let me take your coats, they're frozen through. Now did you want to use the phone, or would you like to spend the night and try to get out in the morning?" Scully eyed her carefully, looking for anything besides sincerity in her demeanor. "I don't think we're going to get out of that snow drift tonight, so if you don't mind putting us up..." She trailed off, uncertain suddenly, glancing to Mulder. "Yeah, if we're not a problem, that would probably be for the best, I don't want some other poor person drug out into this mess tonight." Mulder wrapped an arm around Scully's shoulders. Layla smiled. "No problem at all, I'm used to having guests here on the weekends. I'll take you up to the spare room and see if I can dig up some dry clothes for you." She led them up the stairs, Emma bouncing in front of them. Layla opened a door at the end of the hall, leading into a room in the corner of the building. A king size bed stood along the near wall, with an armoire beside the door. Two doors stood closed along the far wall. "This should be good. The left door leads into the bath, and the right goes into the sauna. If you use it, be sure to turn it off. I'll let you two clean up and go find something for you to put on. If nothing else, there should be a few robes in the armoire. Come on, Em." She led the little girl out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. As soon as the door snapped shut, Mulder turned to Scully. "You OK?" Scully's eyes turned an icy shade of blue as they met his. "Yeah, I'm fine. But this woman seems to good to be true. Especially for a TV producer, you'd think she'd be more ruthless and less willing to let strangers into her home, let alone allow them to spend the night." "I'm a little suspicious about that too. But she seems sincere enough. Maybe she's here to escape that ruthlessness, and is able to seperate her worlds enough to trust people. I wish I was able to, sometimes." "I know, Mulder, I know." She wrapped her arms up and around his neck, pulling him to her. His arms came around her, lightly moving over her back. It wasn't really so much the woman that bothered him, but her reaction to the child. A pretty little Em, about the age her daughter would have been. But he'd let her tackle that in her own time. "Well, until she proves to be a flukewoman or alien, I'd say let's just consider ourselves lucky and get out of these damp clothes. Want to try out the sauna?" She chuckled softly and pulled back from him. "Mmmmmm...that would be really nice." They stripped out of their damp, cold clothes, leaving them in a pile by the sauna door. The sauna was all wood, with a warm, faint aroma of cedar. There were two doors on the outer wall, the other apparently leading into Layla's room. On the far wall, there were two tiers of benches, and Scully settled onto the top as Mulder poured water onto the hot rocks, letting steam rise up and the temperature to increase. He then moved to settle next to Scully. "Lay down," he whispered, "on your stomach, on the lower level." She gave him a quizzical look, but obeyed. He moved to straddle her lower back, and began massaging her shoulders. Soft sounds of contentment radiated from her as sweat began to shimmer on her back. "God, Mulder, that feels so...oh..." Her body was limp, soft and pliable under his hands as he shifted down, picking up her feet and caressing her arches. There was a faint knocking on the room door, and then the sounds of someone moving inside. A shadow appeared in front of the frosted glass of the sauna. "I put some clothes on the bed, sorry I don't have much menswear around, but I managed to find some baggy sweats of mine that should fit. You can come on downstairs whenever, Em and I are just reading." The voice and the silouhette disappeared, and Mulder moved away from Scully as their bodies heated further. "You ready to hit the showers, Mulder?" Scully's voice was soft, relaxed. "Yeah, come on." He climbed down from his perch and extended an hand to Scully, pulling her to her feet, both of them gleaming with a sheen of sweat. Mulder stuck his head out the door to make sure the room was empty, then swung open the door, letting the cool air rush in over them as they moved to the bathroom. The shower's water felt cool as it poured over them, waking them slightly from the relaxation of the sauna. Mulder picked up the soap from its niche and lathered up his hands. Wordlessly he moved up against her back and began caressing her, cleaning her. "Mmmmm..." She relaxed back into his hands as her body became simultaneously aroused and more relaxed. His hands circled her breasts, his fingers teasing her nipples. She could feel his hardness pressing into her back. She tensed suddenly. "Mulder," she hissed between nearly panting breaths, "we can't do this here, in a stranger's house." His hands caressed her sides one last time before he released her. "Ok, alright, Scully. You feel clean enough?" She nodded, reaching down to turn off the spray. The stepped out of the shower into the cold bathroom, quickly wrapping towels around themselves to fend off the chill. Sitting on the bed were two piles of clothing. One pile contained grey flannel pyjama bottoms and a grey sweatshirt sporting logo proclaiming "Hollins" in deep green letters, obviously intended for Mulder. The pile Scully picked up had a pair of pale blue pyjama bottoms and a soft green sweatshirt with a jumping horse emblazoned on it, both of which were too big for her, as the garments left for Mulder were just slightly too tight, but passable on both. Scully tried not to trip on the bottom hem of the pants as they made their way down the stairs. From the right, they could hear giggling and followed the noise, passing a stately grandfather clock procaiming the time as 8:12. In a glass walled room, they found Layla and Em standing at easels, painting as a stereo in the corner blared rock music. Mulder and Scully moved in and sat down along the couch on one wall, watching as the Manhattan skyline Layla was painting took shape. Emma turned to them with a smile, and returned to her easel, where her painting was hidden from their view. Layla turned and smiled at the two agents snuggled together on the couch. "You want something to drink? There's a pitcher of juice on the table in that corner." She gestured with her brush. "And if you want something to read or a board game or whatever, you can go through that door into the library." She turned back to her work with an air of easy confidence that left Scully marvelling and Mulder trying not to stare. She was quickly forgotten as Emma made her way over to them. "This is for you." She held out the large piece of white paper she'd been painting on since they'd come into the room. There was an admirable depiction of the two of them curled up on the couch, rendered in primary colors and simple forms. Mulder tightened his grip around Scully as she took the artwork from the little girl. "My name's Em." The girl hopped up on the edge of the couch in front of them. "What's yours?" She somehow seemed to look at both of them simultaneously. "I'm Dana." Scully reached out to shake the hand the girl extended. "And this is my..." she paused as she searched for the word to best describe them. "Partner." That summed up their relationship perfectly, though its connotations could be taken many ways, as they were equals in everything. Mulder reached out his hand to her. "I'm Mulder." The girl smiled at him and cocked her head to one side like a confused puppy. "Thats a weird name." "Em!" Layla cried from behind her easel. "That's no way to talk to guests." Mulder laughed. "Its OK. Mulder's my last name, my first name's Fox, but nobody calls me that." The girl smiled and hopped of the couch to stand facing them. "Will you read me a story?" Scully's face spread in a smile. "Sure sweetie. What do you want to hear?" Em was off as soon as she'd heard an affirmation, darting through the door into the library. Scully sad up more, resting her shoulder against Mulder's as he caressed her arm lightly. She smiled up at him, and he could see she was happy to be spending time with the little girl, as painful as it was. Em rushed back into the room with a large leatherbound volume. She pushed it at Scully. "Page 185." Scully looked down at the volume--"Bullfinch's Mythology." She looked at Mulder as the girl climbed up and settled herself between them, barely supressing a laugh. "You like myths, Emma?" Mulder asked her softly, Em nodding rapidly. Scully glanced over at him as she found the page in the book. She'd forgetten how wonderful he could be with children. She felt a twinge that she pushed out of her mind as she reached the page. "Orpheus and Eurydice, Emma?" Em nodded an enthusiastic affirmative as Scully began reading. "Orpheus was the son of Apollo...." ****************************** The clock on the bedside table read 12:57 as Scully snuggled into bed next to Mulder. He wrapped his arm around her middle, kissing lightly along her neck and jaw. "Scully, do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly, unsure of how she'd respond to him. This weekend was their six month anniversary, was intended to be spent alone in a secluded house on a lake, not staying with a stranger and a painful reminder of what they would never have. She was silent for a long moment. "Mulder..." He could hear the tears she was holding back in her voice. She turned to face him, and he could see the tears in her eyes even in the pale moonlight. "I--I don't really even know myself how I feel." His hand made circles on her lower back, tracing lightly over the tattoo he knew was there. "Before I found out that I couldn't have children, I'd never really thought about having them much at all. When I was younger, in school, I assumed that after I was a doctor, had a career established, I'd have children, but after I joined the FBI, I never really thought much about it. Then I--we--learned that I could never have a child. I felt like I lost something I didn't realize was valuable or even missing." Mulder pulled her closer, but she kept her head up, needing to meet his eyes, difficult as it was, needing the reassurance and love she found there. "And then...so soon after...Emily came into my--our lives...." She trailed off and buried her face in the crook of his neck as the tears began to fall in earnest. "She was...the child I never realized, never expected...I wanted so much to have the chance...to raise her, to love her... get to know her." Her speech was broken up by sobs. Mulder realized this was probably one of the few times, if ever, she'd allowed herself to really cry about it. His hands smoothed over her back, but he made no move to curb her tears, knowing she needed this, honored she'd trusted him with this. Eventually her tears abated, she pulled back from him slightly, gathering courage to continue. "And now, I've finally found someone I'd want to have a child with, and that choice has been taken from me. It makes me feel so goddamned violated. And I know, I do, how much you understand, you empathize with me. But..." She trailed off and was lost in though for a few seconds, his heart being put through all manner of medieval torture devices as he waited for her to continue. "You can't completely understand though, no matter how hard you want to. The choice wasn't taken from you." She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could and buried her face in his chest. For a few minutes they both were quiet, Mulder letting her release her grief and rage and sorrow in silence. "I know I can't completely understand how violated you feel. But the choice was taken from me in a way. The only person I could ever imagine having children with was made infertile against their will, and when you lost your choice, I lost mine too." She looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time in many minutes. "Thank you." Her voice came out a harsh whisper. They fell asleep facing each other, arms in a mutual embrace, exhausted physically and battered emotionally. Scully awoke to the smell of cooking food wafting into the room. Mulder was still sleeping, and slowly awoke as she nudged playfully in the ribs. "Wake up, sleep-head." She could see the bedside clock reading just after eight. "Its not so early, and I think its gonna be a snow day, Mom." Even as he said this, he pulled back the comforter and started to crawl out of bed. ************************************** Layla was in the kitchen with Emma, pancakes piled in the center island, the little girl sitting on a stool with a plateful in front of her. Coffee percolated softly on the counter, and a bright light from the snow illuminated the kitchen to almost painful brightness. Mulder and Scully made their way into the kitchen, dressed in their now dry but slightly wrinkled clothes from yesterday. "I wouldn't count on the two of you going anywhere today. Its still snowing, and the weatherman isn't calling for it to stop until around noon. Help yourselves to the pancakes." Layla gestured to the pile on the island. They grabbed plates and piled them with the hot pancakes, glad to have good food instead of the usual greasy diner fare. Their eyes took in Layla as they ate, in a sweater and riding boots. Em was similarly dressed. "But you're planning on going out?" Scully couldn't help but ask. "Yeah!" Em sounded thrilled. "We're going riding. I get to ride Muffin!" "Muffin's her pony. We're just taking a little ride out around the field in the snow, make sure all the fences are still up. You have anything you need out of your car I can pick up?" The phone rang before either of them could respond. Layla moved to grab it, but Emma leapt off her stool and got to it first. Mulder and Scully both chuckled slightly as she scurried across the kitchen. "Daddy!" she shrieked into the reciever after a moment's pause. "It snowed so much and Auntie Lay's taking me out to ride Muffin and we have nice company...Yeah!" Layla smiled at them. "Her parents are in England for the year, and they asked me to watch Em, so she could keep go to school here. Its like suddenly having a half-grown daughter thrust upon you. You could never imagine..." She chuckled as she made her way to the phone. "More than you could know..." Scully's voice was faint as they made their way out of the kitchen and back up the stairs. "Do you want your overnight bag out of the car, Scully? I can take the key down." "Yeah, that would be a good idea if we're going to be stranded here another night. There should be a change of clothes in there for both of us." ********************************** Scully looked out the window into a world of white. Their room faced out towards the road, where she could make out part of their car that hadn't been covered by the blowing snow, grey in contrast to the white snow. Of starker contrast were the two forms making their way across the field towards it, a brightly attired child on a light chestnut pony and Layla on a massive, gleaming black horse. She watched as they made their way in parallel to the avenue of snow-covered trees towards the roadway. She was so wrapped up in watching them she didn't notice Mulder moving up quietly behind her. She jumped slightly as his arms moved around her, then relaxed back against him. "Kiss for your thoughts." Her melancholy was palpable. He kissed the top of her head and let out a soft sigh. He'd wanted to work through these issues eventually, but not this weekend. This was supposed to have been someting good, for just them, no intrusions from the past. He should have known better. "Its just...this is what I used to think I wanted. Nice house away from the city, a family....And now I know that I could never live like this, not after everything I've been through." She paused, and he could sense she was deliberating as to whether she wanted to share more. She drew a deep breath and went on. "And it saddens me that I *couldn't* live like a normal person, even if I was given the chance." "I feel the same way. Not that I've ever had much experience with a normal life, but there was a time I thought it would be nice." She turned in his arms, finally breaking her gaze away from the stark whiteness of the Pennsylvania landscape, pulling back to look at him. "Then lets have this be our weekend of normalcy, if Layla's letting us stay here again tonight. That'll be more of a vacation than anything else I can think of, to stay here and forget about everything, about DC, the FBI, aliens, family long gone." Her eyes met his, held his gaze. He couldn't answer her, didn't posess the words to tell her how much he wanted her to have that. So he simply pulled her to him, kissing her softly. Both of them watched as the two riders made their way back across the field, the rider on the black wrangling with a small suitcase held in front of her. "Scully, if we're playing normal for the weekend, what do you say we get changed and go play in the snow." She didn't need to look at him to see the smile on his face, a look of genuine happiness. That was rare enough, there was no way she could deny him, but she could play along with him. "What, you want to make a snow alien?" She laughed at the idea, relaxing into his chest and she watched the snow flutter down outside. "No, the keyword this weekend is 'normalcy,' remember? Regular old snowman, maybe a few snowballs. See if you pitch as well as you bat." They both laughed at that and turned away from the window, moving apart to prepare for a foray into the world of white. ******************************** Fin ********************************