From phuwv@csv.warwick.ac.uk Sun Mar 09 09:48:22 1997 Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW: November Rain 1/1 by Ian From: Ian Date: Sun, 9 Mar 1997 15:48:22 +0000 -------- disclaimer: The characters aren't mine you see In fact they're owned by Fox TV Chris Carter and Ten-Thirteen too I'm doing what I shouldn't do I've just borrowed them for a while To write my very own X-File The song lyrics also aren't mine I add in a rhyming, piercing whine So please don't sue me, I beg you all 'Cos I'm a poor student - it would be cruel Archive: sure Spoilers: none Rating: Vignette - G Warning: a bit of Mulderangst, not much Summary: Mulder listens to a song on the radio Okay, this is the third in my Guns'n'Roses sequence, following Live and Let Die and Knockin' On Heaven's Soor. Hope you enjoy this one. This song has got to be one of the best - and it has very special memories for me, and no doubt for many other people too. So hit that button and let the music play. And please, feedback - I haven't had any on this sequence yet NB: Timing - Scully's abduction is still fresh in Mulder's mind. November Rain by Ian Horsewell "Right, this next song is for everyone out there who can't sleep..." the voice of the late-night DJ penetrated Mulder's consciousness, and he sat up on the couch, television turned off for once. That was certainly him, all right. The opening bars of the song played, and he smiled as he heard the first line. When I look into your eyes... God... whenever he looked into her eyes, all he could think of was how close he had come to losing her. How near he had been to giving up, though no-one would ever have believed it. And this song was painfully close to the truth... 'Cause nothing lasts forever, And we both know hearts can change. And hearts *had* changed. Before she'd been taken, he'd known, or he'd thought he'd known, how much he'd cared. But only the way he'd felt, the way he'd been lost without her, had told him how he really felt about his partner. His Dana. Though he'd never told her and probably never would. We've been through this such a long long time Just tryin' to kill the pain. The slow, gentle music played in the darkened apartment, filling the room, as Mulder tried to put how he felt in perspective. Tried to make his subconscious accept that he'd never have her *that* way. Never be more than a friend, never be able to change that caring hug into something more. But a little voice told him that it wasn't enough. A voice he'd been hearing more and more often these days, as Scully improved, recovered from the ordeal that had been his fault. She'd never said so, never even suggested it. He smiled as he realised how angry she'd be if she realised he still blamed himself for it all. But the simple truth was that he did, that he still felt responsible. And still he needed to see her, reassure himself that she was alright. She'd been good about it, not getting angry about his fussing, his overprotectiveness... though he'd seen it in her eyes sometimes, when she just needed a bit of space. Do you need some time... all alone? Everybody needs some time... on their own. But he didn't need time alone - he needed time with her, to explain how he felt, finally. No more procrastinations, no more putting it off because 'the time's not right' or 'the mood's wrong'. It never would be better than now, before his feelings got him more confused, got him into more trouble than he was in already. And so, slowly, painfully, he got up from the couch and picked up his mobile phone, hitting the button to dial Scully's number. It was time to talk this over. So never mind the darkness; We still can find a way. THE END Let me know what you thought, of this and the other G'n'R stories... Ian Horsewell University Of Warwick: i.j.horsewell@warwick.ac.uk The gods like an atheist; it gives them something to aim at.