From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 29 Jul 2001 23:02:26 -0000 Subject: Nuts by Jen Green Source: direct Reply To: jen@mddsg.com Title: Nuts Author: Jen Green Feedback: jennygee@yahoo.com if you liked it, bummer@notmyemail.com if you didn't! Rating: PG Classification: X, Humor (I hope!) Spoilers: Tiny quote from Agua Mala. Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I still be working in retail? Summary: Our two favorite agents investigate a case in Florida. Nuts By Jennifer M. Green Merritt Island, Florida. FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully pulled up in their rented Ford Taurus and surveyed the scene of their newest x-file. They stepped confidently from the car, looking every inch the consummate professionals. "I'm thinking anagrams here, Scully. Rearrange the letters in the name of this place and guess what you get? Antler Boss. Remember that militant group out of Alaska a few years back that called themselves 'Santa's Reindeer'? They could be behind this." "Oh, I don't know, Mulder," answered his partner. She shook her head slowly as she considered the building's exterior. "Those were just your average, run-of-the-mill survival cult-turned- anti-governmental radicals. This...this is just too weird, even for them." Deciding that further investigation was necessary, the two agents moved toward the entrance. They exchanged wary glances when the door opened seemingly on it's own. "Did you see...?" "Yeah," said Mulder, his right hand hovering defensively over his weapon. "Obviously someone knew we were coming." They passed through the open portal, Mulder in the lead. Once inside, he clapped his hands over his ears. "Scully, it's worse than we thought," he said of the offending noise. "Whatever this is, they're broadcasting it throughout the building. It almost sounds like...like...Metallica, and yet it's like nothing I've ever heard before. Why, Scully, why?" "I'm not sure, Mulder, "she replied, making her own attempt to shield herself from the noise. "It may simply be a convenient vessel for some sort of subliminal messaging. We'll have to be careful." Nodding his head in agreement, Mulder took a few cautious steps forward. The two agents stopped several feet inside the door, silently assessing the situation. Seemingly oblivious to their investigation, people bustled around them, some carrying small, red, handled containers, others pushing larger wheeled vats. The room itself looked to be some sort of vast warehouse. Row after row of shelves lined with who-knows-what stretched out as far as the eye could see. As the agents watched, baffled, a dazed-looking young woman removed a metallic, cylindrical item from a nearby shelf, placing it into an already-overflowing container. She then pushed the container to what appeared to be some sort of processing station, where she proceeded to unload it's contents onto a conveyor belt. "What do you suppose is going on here, Mulder?", the redheaded FBI agent questioned. "These people...why are they behaving this way?" "They appear to be some sort of worker-drones, Scully. Note the way they keep to themselves, no talking or mingling, always moving with single-minded purpose. Though, I must admit, I have yet to determine what that purpose might be," said Mulder. "They all seem to be stopping at that table over there. Let's go check it out." Twenty feet away, there stood a table covered with a blue cloth. An older man with gray hair stood behind it, arranging little white paper cups on a tray. As the agents looked on, the man smilingly offered the contents of the tray to two young men. Each man removed one of the white cups and quickly ingested it's contents before throwing the empty cup into a nearby trash receptacle. Scully turned to her partner, wide-eyed. "Mulder, they may be drugging these people. We have to get a sample of what's in those cups for further analysis!" "Good idea, Scully. Distract him." Scully stepped forward, smiling at the gray-haired man. "Excuse me sir, do you have the time?" The man lowered his tray to the table to check his watch, and Mulder leaped into action, stealthily palming one of the cups and then walking quickly away. Scully thanked the man and moved casually toward where her partner stood sniffing at the cup's mysterious contents. "What is it, Mulder?" she asked, producing a plastic evidence bag from the depths of her suit pocket. "I'm not sure. It seems to be dairy-like in substance. And frozen." He dropped the material, cup and all, into the bag and watched her seal it shut. Scully considered this information. "It's possible that the cold temperature acts as a stabilizing agent until such time as the subject ingests the substance. Or the opposite could be true. Perhaps the drug needs the cold to flourish. We'll know more once we get this to the lab. They probably won't get any prints off the cup, though. Did you notice, Mulder, that he's wearing gloves? What is this place? A new cult? Why would they have to drug their members?" "It just gets curiouser and curiouser, Scully. Let's look around some more." They walked a little further, to a place where the shelves gave way to an aisle of tall cases, lined up like sentries. Mulder shivered. "Did you feel that sudden drop in temperature, Scully? Maybe what we're dealing with isn't a cult at all. Many experts in the paranormal claim to experience sudden changes in temperature either directly preceding or during sightings of ghosts, poltergeists, or other specters. We may be looking at a case of mass-demonic possession," Mulder exclaimed excitedly. "Even if that were true, Mulder," replied Scully, "wouldn't the demon in question need to have some sort of power source? I mean...to control this many people..." "Yes, you're probably right," he agreed. "Hey, what's that over there?" In the far corner of the room sat a large glass tank filled with a clear liquid. Swimming slowly inside the tank were... "Oh my God," remarked Scully. "Mulder, are those...?" "Alien life forms," Mulder whispered in an awe-filled voice. "Scully, here's our proof. After all these years. I should've known. It's not drugs or demons. These people are under alien control!" Scully shook her head in rebuttal. "I don't think so, Mulder. I believe these life forms are being held against their will. Look." She indicated the creature's appendages, which were restrained by thin strips of blue adhesive. Scully abruptly turned away from the tank, pinching her nostrils shut with one hand. "Bulder, what is that horrible sbell?" "I don't know, Scully," he answered, producing a handkerchief from his jacket and affecting a similar stance, "but it sbells like the inside of by fish tank! Let's get out ob here. It could be toxic!" The agents moved away from the tank until they were once again able to breathe normally. "Mulder, what exactly is going ON here?" "I don't know, partner, but I think the key to this mystery might just be what these people are collecting in their containers." He indicated a nearby wire vat that was currently unattended. The two agents peered inside curiously. "Mulder, those small, white ovals...they appear to be some sort of organic projectile. And what's that there? It looks like...like the carcass of some animal! Mulder, I really think we need to call for backup," said Scully. "Excuse me, but if you two are finished critiquing my dinner choices, I'd like to check out before my ice cream melts," said a nearby voice, making Mulder and Scully jump back in surprise. Stepping between the two agents, the exasperated patron of Albertson's grocery store pushed her cart towards the cash register, shaking her head as she went. "All the nuts roll downhill to Florida..."