From: Snark Date: Thu, 30 Dec 1999 19:29:08 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: NEW: "Of Chocolate Mice and Hollow Men" (1 of 2) by Snark. Holiday-fic. Source: xfc From: Snark TITLE: Of Chocolate Mice and Hollow Men AUTHOR: Snark E-MAIL: snark_911@yahoo.com DATE COMPLETED: December 30, 1999 /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ SUMMARY: A small Christmas treat leads to Mulder and Scully exchanging childhood traditions in the bright moonlight. SPOILERS: None specifically, but the reader should have a general knowledge of the show. One-line references are made to Triangle and The Ghosts Who Stole Christmas. This fic takes place in the days before Christmas, 1999, so the Millenium episode has yet to be--however, there is a tie-in with the ending of that episode, so beware. CLASSIFICATION: MS friendship, wee bits of both angst and humor. RATING: PG /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ AUTHOR'S NOTES: After reading some of the excellent holiday fic that has surfaced this season, I found myself inspired to write a wee Christmas fic of my own. Unfortunately, real life conspired against me in a myriad of ways, resulting in the not-exactly-timely posting of this story. So I hope there are enough of you still existing "in the holidy mood" to read just one more. /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ DISTRIBUTION: OK to forward to ATXC newsgroup, to Gossamer the Spookys, and to Xemplary. Please ask permission before archiving anywhere else. If you already have one of my stories, permission is granted, but still let me know you are grabbing this one as well. DISCLAIMER: No money for me! No sue for you! FEEDBACK: Mail comments to snark_911@yahoo.com. HOMEPAGE: http://members.tripod.com/~koosn/index.html /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ Scully closed the last manila file folder, dropping it onto a stack of identical manila file folders as she exhaled a weary sigh of relief. She glanced up at the clock, verifying one last time the position of the hands. Four minutes to 6:00, she saw. Plenty of time. She gathered the stack into her hands, straightening them slightly before heading out the door to bring them to Skinner's office. She had made a slight deal with Skinner earlier in the week, and was now delivering the results right on time--all the case update reports in his office by 6:00 on Wednesday night in exchange for getting Thursday off. For the first time in years, she would have one day of the Christmas weekend all to herself. Just one day to bask in the holiday spirit, she thought as she rounded the corner for the elevator--that's all I want. One day to play a little Johnny Mathis without the family chiming in off-key... One day to watch 'A Christmas Story' and laugh herself silly without Charlie pointing out historical inaccuracies during the whole thing... One day without following Mulder on some twisted, Tim Burton-ish amalgam of Christmas and Hallowe-- "Hey Scully. Can I show you my hole?" Too late. "Not now, Mulder," she said wearily, not even pausing to look behind her. "So is that a date for later?" Mulder asked, the teasing waggle of his eyebrows coming through loud and clear. Seeing her arms full of folders, Mulder stepped around her quickly to press the call button for her. "Thanks, Mulder. And... no, Mulder," she replied. "Oh come on, Scully. Where's your Christmas spirit?" Mulder asked. As the bell chimed the arrival of the elevator, he stepped in front of Scully just enough to deflect the outward flow of bodies away from her. No need for her to lose her hold on what equates to her day off, Mulder thought. "At this moment, my Christmas spirit is precisely twenty feet below me and fifteen yards to the right, which is where I need to be in..." She glanced at the small digital display in the elevator panel--"One minute and 48 seconds." "Your Christmas spirit is in the drinking fountain outside the utility closet?" She *almost* smiled at that one. "No, Mulder. To the right," she said, sighing as the elevator stopped at the floor between her and her destination. Of course, the new arrival had to be a man in a particularly bulky Santa suit, bumping and banging his way into the elevator like a Red Delicious apple on speed. Just as she thought she would lose her folders, Mulder maneuvered himself between the offending red-suited man and her. She managed to throw him a thankful glance, tilting her head to the side to catch a glimpse of the digital display again. One minute, twelve seconds. Finally, the elevator slowed to a halt, its doors opening to expel its passengers in a single whoosh of movement. When everyone else had emptied out, Scully exited and headed down the hallway, moving as quickly as she could. Which turned out to be just slightly slower than glacial. The end- of-day crowd of people formed a nearly solid wall between her and her goal, seemingly insistent on sweeping her along as they rushed for the elevator. She managed to sneak over to the wall, the path ahead of her slightly more open at the hall's edge. As she finally laid a hand on the handle of Skinner's secretary's office, she had to fight the urge to give a victory cry... Until she realized the door was locked. No, she thought. No, no, no no no nonononono. She could do nothing but jerk at the doorknob over and over, turning it first left, then right, each time met with the solid resistance of the lock. This can't be happening, I'm right on time, she thought. This can't be happening, this can't be-- "Agent Scully." Oh, there is a god, she thought as relief flooded through her. And if I weren't standing with fifty other people, I'd kiss him full on the lips, missing ship or no missing ship. Skinner stepped to her side, deftly unlocking the office door and stepping through it in one quick motion. Before he'd even turned to gesture her inside, she was through the door and past him. And at precisely 5:59:56, Scully heard the most satisfying sound she'd heard in months . *you're free at last, honey, you are free at last* Well, that's what the *plunk* of the folders sounds like if you know how to listen, she reasoned. "Kimberly had to leave early today, Agent Scully, and I was caught in a meeting until just now," Skinner said, motioning towards the previously-locked door and then to her case reports. "I'm sorry if the door caused you any... undue apprehension." "Not at all, sir. Not at all," she said, giving him a raised-eyebrow look as if in shock that he would suggest her capable of such an emotion. She nodded to him, passing him to head out into the hallway. As she crossed through the doorway, though, his sharp "Agent Scully" caused her to turn back to him. "Yes, sir?" Pause. "Santa Claus doesn't like liars." Pause. "Not at all, sir. Not at all," she said as she turned to continue walking down the hall. She quirked a small smile as she heard one of his rare, real laughs follow her towards the elevator. "Have a safe and happy holiday, Agent Scully," he called out to her. "And you as well, sir," she replied, giving him a quick smile as she turned the corner. Opting for the stairs this time, she returned to her office, shutting down her computer after setting the automatic reply function of her email. She glanced around the office, quickly deciding there was nothing she needed to take with her. She grabbed up her coat and veritably ran out the door... Smashing straight into Mulder as he came rushing through from the other direction. "Whoa, hey, sorry there, Scully," Mulder said, reaching to clamp her shoulders in a strong grasp, steadying them both. Good thing this didn't happen seven minutes ago when I had my folders, she thought, or he really *would* have been sorry. "It's OK, Mulder, but I'm just on my way out," she said as she slipped her coat on. "As of three minutes ago, I am officially on vacation--whatever you need, it will have to wait until Monday." "Actually, I just came up to ask you to stop down by my office quick," he said. Before she could even open her mouth to refuse, he continued. "It'll just take sixty seconds, I swear. Nothing weird, nothing twisted, I promise." Scully thought for a moment, weighing the enticing call of her day off against the merry glint in Mulder's eye. "Sixty untwisted, non-weird seconds, Mulder. Not one more," she said sternly, glad that Mulder had turned away before the smile her words evoked made it to her face. They made their way down to Mulder's office, using the stairs again for quicker progress. Scully stifled a chuckle as she walked inside, just as she had each time she'd come down here in the last three days. Mulder's present at the section gift exchange had been a tiny plastic Christmas tree, replete with little garlands of UFOs. He had found a way to hang the tree from his office door, just beneath his nameplate. Mulder stepped around his desk to open his top drawer. He reached in and withdrew a tiny object, but he closed his other hand around it before she could see what it was. "Just wanted to give you a little something here, Scully, before you left for the holiday," Mulder said, coming around to stand in front of her. "Mulder! We said 'no gifts' this year, and we both swore that we really meant it this time," she scolded him. "Oh, it's not really a gift, Scully," Mulder said. "Not like you mean. It's just a little something I made and wanted you to have." "Sounds like a gift, Mulder," she said, warily glancing at his hands as he held them out to her. "Well, it's not. But I'm going to make you 'open' it anyway," he said, indicating he wanted her to tip his upper hand away to reveal the other. Cautiously, Scully reached out a hand. Just as she was about to touch his hand, Mulder jerked his arms, startling her. "Gotcha," he said, chuckling even as she mock-swatted his shoulder. "No really, here, open 'em up." Again, she carefully stretched out her hand, finally lifting Mulder's right hand off his left to reveal... A chocolate mouse? Surprised, she glanced up at Mulder quickly, then back down at his hand. She had been right the first time--in Mulder's hand lay a small chocolate mouse. "What on earth..." she said as she reached to left it gently from his hand. A cherry, still with its stem, had been dipped in chocolate to form the body and tail. Then, before the chocolate had set, an unwrapped Hershey's Kiss had been pressed against it to form the head and pointy nose. Two almond slivers for ears and two drops of blue confectioner's glaze for eyes completed the tiny creature. "You *made* this, Mulder?" she asked, incredulous. "What, is that so hard to believe? I can't possibly have a little Martha Stewart side to my genetic makeup?" Mulder teased as he leaned to sit against his desk. It wasn't so much that she was amazed Mulder *could* make such a thing--he certainly was creative enough. But that he would take the *time* to make such a... such a... "Frighteningly cute little thing, isn't it?" he said, laughing. Scully finally joined in with a laugh of her own. "Yes, it is. Wherever did you learn to make it? Don't tell me you've been watching HGTV late at night?" she asked. "Oh god no--watching show after show about making plate holders out of coat hangers or how to prune your eggplants into flowerpots doesn't really do it for me," he replied, shaking his head in mock disgust. Scully realized he hadn't answered the question, though, and pressed him on it again. "I don't really know, I guess. I must have just seen them somewhere," he said, attempting a nonchalant gesture as he stood to head back around his desk. She didn't believe him for a second. "People don't just *decide* to make chocolate Christmas mice, Mulder," Scully said, sliding into the chair across from his desk. Sixty seconds or not, she was too intrigued to rush off. "Well, *some* people might decide that... but not you." "How about chocolate Christmas aliens, then?" he said lightly, but she still wasn't buying it. "Mulder..." As the seconds passed, Mulder fidgeting slightly with his tie, Scully felt her curiosity climb even higher. This is going to be very interesting, she began to think... "Sam and I used to make them each Christmas." ...or incredibly sad, she quickly amended. "What made you want to make them this year?" she asked quietly after a few moments. "I don't even really know, that's the funny thing. I haven't made them since... then," Mulder said, leaning back in his chair to tip his feet up onto the desk. "I was just in the grocery store the other day, and before I even realized it, I was collecting the almonds, the cherries, all of it." Scully looked down at the little creature she held in her hand. She lifted her hand, inspecting the treat very closely from all angles. "Well, Mulder, I don't know if this is what they are *supposed* to look like, but from my perspective, I'd say that you haven't lost your touch," she said finally, giving a small laugh as he tried to effect a 'thank you' bow and nearly fell out of his chair. "I'll make sure it makes it safely home--it'll be a nice addition to my little end table display." "Well, Scully, I'm not sure if you've realized this yet, but... it's edible. You're supposed to *eat* it, not erect a shrine to it," Mulder said. "I'll eat it later, Mulder," she said, immediately realizing the error of her words. As a slow, teasing grin spread across his face, she added a "The *mouse*, Mulder," to the end of her comment. At that, Mulder burst out into a full-throated laugh, getting up out of his chair as he saw her stand. "Merry Christmas, Scully," he said, wrapping his arms around her in a quick hug. She returned both the sentiment and the hug, cautioning him to have a safe and sedate holiday. She laughed as he told her he'd try his best, but was slightly worried at the rather quiet tone of his voice. He returned to his chair at his desk, and she had a flash of him staying there, for all intents and purposes, throughout the entire weekend. Sure, he'd visit his mother on Christmas day, but it would be a perfunctory visit, carried out by both sides simply because each felt they should. Scully hesitated, wanting to offer something more than just the simple well-wishes but realizing she didn't really have anything more to offer. Mulder wouldn't come to the Scully family Christmas even if she invited him, she knew, so there was no point in making that gesture. And she didn't have any other exciting or interesting Christmas traditions to have him join, so she simply gave a final slight wave and left the office. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The evening traffic was every bit as horrendous as she'd feared, but she eventually made it home with only a minimum of muttered comments on various drivers' ancestry. As she walked to the building, she noticed the temperature had dropped significantly since morning. Scully entered her apartment, immediately changing out of her standard suit and into some sweatpants and a hooded fleece sweatshirt. At first, she intended to fix a nice, small dinner and curl up in front of the TV for some holiday movies, but she soon realized she was rapidly becoming quite tired. So instead of the full dinner, she opted for a quick bowl of soup by the stereo. As she quietly sipped her supper, her legs curled beneath her on the couch, she smiled as she wondered about Mulder and his tiny present. She tried to picture him as a young boy, setting up the chocolate mouse production line in the kitchen, conferring with Sam as to the best setup for the dipping, the ears, the placement of the eyes. But while she could see the entire process, including a bright-eyed Sam laughing as they worked, Scully couldn't quite picture Mulder. She'd only known him as an adult, she knew, and that often made it difficult to picture someone as a child. Only when you've watched someone grow year by year, the gradual changes filed away safely in the subconscious, could you peel away the years to see the child inside the adult. Scully wondered how often Mulder tried to do the reverse for Samantha, extrapolating through the years to wonder what she would have looked like as she grew older. Would she have been tall or short? Would she have kept the family-standard brown hair, or slowly turned blonde as the years slid by? Would she have had her parents' reserve? Would she have grown to possess the same quick intelligence and wry humor as her brother? Would she have loved him while with him as much as he loved her while apart? As she sipped down the last of the soup, Scully wondered how Mulder kept the faith so fiercely in place for Sam. How, even when his faith in his quest seemed to waver, it never entirely disappeared. Each blow he suffered served only to strengthen his resolve even further. Realizing she had finished her soup, and yet was still hungry, she got up and returned to the kitchen. Scully scooped another half- ladle of soup into her cup, deciding to leave the rest for a quick lunch tomorrow. She grabbed a couple extra crackers and returned to the couch, again curling her legs beneath her as though to curl up with her thoughts. What had made Sam so special to Mulder, she wondered, that he continued to this day to devote his life to finding her? Was it a subconscious desire to bring Sam back for his parents, to please them just as every child tried to please a parent? Had it been a sense of loyalty, a sense that he should have been able to protect her? Or was it simply that she was his sister and he loved her? Scully wondered if she would have shaped her life around Charlie, or Missy, or Bill, if they'd gone missing when she was young. And try as she might, she couldn't come up with any answer except 'no.' As much as she loved her siblings, she knew she had never possessed the obsessive personality needed to evolve a quest. Even though she missed her sister so much at times it felt as though her own heart had stopped, Scully went about her life now much as she had before. Perhaps it was different to lose someone as an adult--you had already had the chance to know them, a chance to have them in your life and love them for years. And even as you despaired their loss, even as you wept for the voice you could never hear again, you'd had the time to learn how to accept loss and move on. To have to deal with that as a child, to carry a burden so large at so young an age... no one should have to go through that. But Mulder had. He'd gone through it and come out on the other side in one piece. Scarred, yes... forever changed, yes... but with a spirit unbroken. She knew many people never recovered from such a tragedy in their young lives. That Mulder had grown to be a healthy and successful man was a testament to his will and his determination. As she went to move her legs a bit, Scully realized she'd been sitting in the same position long enough for them to have fallen asleep. She gingerly unfolded her legs, dreading the pins and needles sensation she knew would be following right about... *ooh, oh, ah, ow, ow, oh, ow, damn, damn, Damn!* Serves me right, she thought as she carefully stood and hobbled around for a minute, making sure to give a wide berth to her breakable Christmas figurines. Sitting around on the first night of my vacation, pondering the complex mysteries of the Mulder universe when I should be relaxing with a good book and a hot bath. Her mind perked up at the thought of a long, soaking bath, but she was too tired to really enjoy it. Even though it wasn't even 8:00 yet, she just wanted to get some rest. Just go to bed, she told herself--sleep in through the morning for a change, take that bath when you'll really enjoy it, and have a nice cozy day all to yourself. "Sounds good," she mumbled, laughing a bit as she realized she didn't even care that she was replying to her own thoughts. What was it Bill always used to say, she wondered--'if you can't talk to yourself, who can you talk to?' After performing her normal nightly routine, Scully slipped into her most comfortable sleepwear, a warm, oversized set of flannel pajamas. They had always reminded her of going to sleep as a child, never feeling quite as warm in anything else as she did in these. She returned to the living room to shut the stereo off, but as she reached for the button, the DJ announced they were beginning a solid hour of Christmas music. As she paused for a moment, a nice instrumental version of Silent Night started playing. She stood for a moment, listening, and made a quick decision. Going to the hall closet, she retrieved a couple of thick blankets, and after grabbing her pillow from the bed, she made herself at home on the couch. For some reason, she found it suited her reflective mood to curl up on the couch for the night, rather than take to the solitude of her room. Scully drew the blankets up, taking care to tuck them in securely all around her. She laid her head back on the pillow, pulling the blankets right up to her chin. As her motions stilled, though, she kept feeling as though something were missing. Something which would make everything just... "I'm... dreaming... of a white... Christmas," Bing's voice crooned from the speakers. *sigh* Tucked in like a child awaiting Santa's arrival, a small smile on her face as she closed her eyes, Scully slowly fell asleep, the sounds of her favorite Christmas song drifting lightly through the apartment. ========= end part 1. Part 2 to follow immediately. ========= From: Snark Date: Thu, 30 Dec 1999 19:31:23 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: NEW: "Of Chocolate Mice and Hollow Men" (2 of 2) by Snark. Holiday-fic. Source: xfc From: Snark TITLE: Of Chocolate Mice and Hollow Men (2 of 2) AUTHOR: Snark E-MAIL: snark_911@yahoo.com DATE COMPLETED: December 30, 1999 Complete disclaimers can be found in part 1. /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ SUMMARY: A small Christmas treat leads to Mulder and Scully exchanging childhood traditions in the bright moonlight. CLASSIFICATION: MS friendship, wee bits of both angst and humor. RATING: PG /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ She dreamed of a kaleidoscope of colors at first, each one shimmering as it gently fell through her mind. They piled one atop the other in her sleep, forming rainbow-colored drifts as each new image whispered across the dreamscape. But slowly, one by one, the colors faded until only the white dreams were left against the blackness of her unconscious. They swirled across the dark background, rising and falling around her as though she were flying. Faster and faster, she drew closer to a tight cluster of bright light at the center of her mind. The whiteness became more pronounced, enveloping her ever more completely until only a few glimpses of black could be seen. She reached the center and stretched out a hand to touch its glowing heat... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Scully snapped awake, her hand jerking back against her body. Sitting up in the darkness, she glanced about the room as though she expected to see an intruder. She somehow resisted the urge to check her hand for burns, but it was tougher than it should have been. She would have sworn she could still feel a white heat against her palm. She pressed a hand to her chest, feeling her heart pounding within as though it would burst forth from her ribs. But strangely, she did not feel scared or nervous--whatever she had experienced, it had not been a nightmare. Intense and incredibly affecting, yes, but it had not been a nightmare. A vision, she thought as she threaded herself to the surface of the twisted blankets. It had almost been a vision, the recorded image of actual sight and experience. But I've never experienced anything like that before, she reminded herself. It had to have been just a dream. Scully stood from the couch, wrapping one of the blankets around her to keep warm. She glanced over at the VCR display-- 11:30. Even though she'd only been asleep a few hours, she felt refreshed and wide awake. She turned to head into the kitchen, but her eyes were drawn to a brightness outside her window. She was used to the street lights casting a pale light during the night, but this was something more. Stepping over to the window, she drew back the shades... And found the meaning of her dream. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *knock knock knock* Scully could hear a soft thud from within the interior of apartment 42, followed immediately by a muffled curse. A moment later, a somewhat ruffled Mulder answered the door, gingerly flexing his bare right foot a bit. "Scully?" It wasn't so much a question of who she was as a question of what was she doing here. She could see the confusion plainly displayed on his face, but since she didn't appear to be in any distress, the confusion was unlaced with concern. He merely wanted to know why she was on his doorstep at midnight, dressed as though she were leading the next expedition to the north pole. "Mulder, get dressed." Why enlighten when you can further confuse, she thought with a devious little smile... "What?" Mulder asked, giving his head a quick shake. It was as if he expected to see the image of his calm, cool partner coalesce into Frohike or Langly--at least the two of them showing up at midnight would make some sense, he thought, even as Scully remained solidly positioned in front of him. "Get dressed. It means to put on some clothes, and since we'll be going outside, it means make sure you put on some warm clothes," Scully explained slowly. "Put on some warm clothes," Mulder repeated, still staring at her with a somewhat blank expression. "Now, Mulder. We haven't got all night," Scully said, brushing past Mulder into his apartment. She turned and waved him towards his room, making tiny shooing motions as she stepped back to shut the apartment door. "Boots, hats and gloves are a must, by the way." Mulder finally seemed to snap back to reality, chuckling a bit as he reached out a hand to feel her forehead. "Are you feeling all right, Scully? You're acting a bit... well, a bit like me," he said. "That *can't* be good for you." "I think I'm OK for now, Mulder," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder and turning him towards his room. "But hurry up and get changed, or the beating I'll have to give you might run the risk of incurring more serious injury." "You gonna tell me what this is about?" Mulder asked as he padded into his room. She was glad to hear the sounds of drawers and closet doors opening, noticing his sleep T-shirt being flung across the doorway and out of sight. "Not a chance," she called back to him. "Not even a hint?" he asked as he came back into the room a few minutes later. He sat on the edge of the couch to pull on his heavy hiking boots, and she could see he'd layered several shirts and sweatshirts beneath a parka-style jacket. The fingertips of gloves poked out from a pocket and a bright green stocking cap was in place on his head. "Let's just say since you surprised me with the Christmas mouse, I thought I'd return the favor," she said. "You're taking me outside to surprise me with chocolate mice?" Mulder asked as he stood. He grinned as he caught sight of her single raised eyebrow. "What I *meant*, Mulder, as you very well know, was that I would return the surprise, not the mouse," she said, in mock exasperation. "Oooh, you're going to surprise me?" Mulder said, grinning at her as he pulled on his gloves. "My toes are tingling at the very thought." "Something else will be tingling if you don't get a move on, Mulder," Scully said, hiding her smile behind a swift turn for the door. She heard him laugh as he crossed into the hall behind her, pulling his door shut and following her outside. The full moon cast an almost daytime brightness over them as they got inside the car. She quickly wove her way through the fairly deserted nighttime streets, even though she had no real idea of where her final destination would be. I just need to get out into a rural area, she told herself, away from the city lights and away from homes. She chuckled as she realized her thoughts sounded as though she were planning a murder or something. "So c'mon, Scully, give," Mulder prodded her every five minutes or so. "What are we doing?" "Were you this inquisitive as a kid, Mulder?" Scully asked finally, laughing a bit as he slouched back in his seat a bit as she once again refused to answer the question. "I bet you drove your parents insane when stuff like this happened." "Well, it didn't happen very often--my parents were never particularly spontaneous, which is kind of required to pack someone in the car and take off at midnight," Mulder said, giving Scully a sly wink as she stifled a smile. "But yeah, there were a couple of trips to amusement parks and such that were left undisclosed until we got there, and they probably wished they'd hauled me in the trunk for those." "I thought so," she said, turning off the freeway at what appeared a likely road. Even though she made every turn as if she knew exactly where she was headed, Mulder still saw right through it. "You've got absolutely no clue where we're going, do you, Scully," he asked, smiling. "Actually, Mulder, I know exactly where we're going," she replied easily. "I just don't know where it is." He seemed satisfied to think that one over for a bit, so Scully simply kept quiet as she continued to scan for the perfect spot. The bright moon provided just enough light for her to see the shape of the surrounding landscape as they sped along. Minutes continued to roll by, and Scully was glad to see that each one brought with it a more rural countryside. Finally, as they rounded a corner and emerged from beneath the trees, she saw exactly what she wanted. Scully slowed down as they drew closer, looking for a suitable place to pull the car off the road so it wouldn't create a traffic hazard. She finally found a place where an access drive had been put in to reach across the deep ditch, allowing entry to the fenced land beyond. "Trespassing without suitable cause, Agent Scully?" Mulder asked as she nosed the car up to the fence. "I've got plenty of cause, Agent Mulder, although none that the bureau would probably buy," Scully laughed as she shut off the car. She turned to put a hand on Mulder's arm as he went to exit the car. "Now, Mulder, I have to ask you to do something." "Oh, honey, I thought you'd never ask," Mulder said, putting a hand to his heart with a mock flutter of his eyes. Scully had to clamp tight control over herself not to burst out laughing at the supremely ludicrous sight. "You need to keep your eyes closed, from the moment you leave this car until I tell you to open them," Scully explained. "Sounds freaky," Mulder said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Which means yes, I presume?" "Now, in which dictionary does freaky mean yes?" "In the special edition Mulder-to-English dictionary all your partners are issued on their first day." "I told them to wait until the second day to hand those out!" Mulder cried indignantly, his outraged tone finally coaxing the suppressed laugh from Scully. "Well, I'll be sure to inform them of the mistake right away," Scully said. "Now, do we have a deal?" "Freaky," Mulder said, smiling as he closed his eyes. They got out of the car, Scully first undoing the small hook-latch on the fence and leading Mulder through. She then returned to the car and retrieved a small bundle from the trunk. She withdrew a small flashlight to help guide their way. Stepping back through the fence, she securely redid the gate behind her. "Ready?" she asked, stealing a glance back at him to make sure his eyes were still shut. She had Mulder hold her elbow, standing a bit behind her and to the side so that he wouldn't walk right over her if she stopped suddenly. "Lead on, fair lady, lead on," Mulder said, using his free hand to gesture grandly in front of him. Scully just laughed and started off across the open field. Their breath hung in the air as they walked--not even a breath of wind was present to swirl it away into the night. About five minutes later, they had crossed the flat land and started up the gently sloping hill she had seen outlined against the sky earlier. The hill was slightly harder for Mulder, not being able to see exactly where his foot would connect with the earth each step, but he kept his eyes closed just as she'd instructed. Finally, Scully drew to a stop. She glanced all around her, confirming she had found what she wanted. Perfect, she thought, giving a quick, conspiratorial glance up at the moon. This is perfect. "OK, just stand still for a minute, Mulder," Scully said as she eased Mulder's hand off her arm. "Can I open my eyes yet? Can I, can I?" he asked, laughing. "No, Mulder," Scully said, smiling--even though she couldn't see the boy, she could hear his petulant whine even through the adult's laughter. She unwrapped the bundle she was carrying, unfolding a large, thick blanket and spreading it on the ground. She gently guided Mulder around to the opposite side of it. "Sit down, but keep facing the way you are now," Scully prompted. She kept hold of his left arm as he dropped his right hand down to the ground to guide his motions. "Now lie down, flat on your back... and shut the hell up, Mulder," she said, cutting off his sly remark before he'd even opened his mouth. Mulder stretched himself backwards, using his parka hood as a pillow and folding his hands across his chest. "Comfortable?" Scully asked, watching as Mulder crossed his ankles as his long legs straightened out. "Yep," Mulder answered. "I'm ready and waiting for whatever is to come. What do I do now?" He listened closely to the stillness, hearing Scully as she eased herself down to the ground beside him. Well, sort of beside me, he thought as he realized she was lying down 'opposite' him. He felt her hood brush by his face as she rested her head next to his, though she was facing the other direction. This is interesting, he thought. What is she up to, he wondered... "Open your eyes, Mulder." Mulder opened them... and found the answer. The night sky above him was awash with stars, each one shining crystal clear against the darkness. It was as though shimmering black velvet had been stretched across the sky, a million tiny pinpricks allowing the light of creation itself to peek in. And right there, hanging above him as though it were merely inches away, was the bright moon. He couldn't stop himself as he reached a hand towards the sky--he was overcome with the feeling that if he just reached far enough, he'd be able to hold it in his hand. Not a single tree branch bent across his line of sight as he stared upwards at the brilliance above him--it was as though he were disconnected from his body, flying among the stars around him. He'd rarely seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. "Scully..." Mulder whispered. "I... I don't know what... I can't..." His voice trailed away as the words escaped him. Scully smiled as she finally saw the boy inside the man. "Do you know 'The Hollow Men,' by T.S. Eliot, Mulder?" Scully whispered after a few minutes. "This is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends," Mulder whispered by way of reply. "Not with a bang but a whimper." Those ending lines were among the few pieces of poetry he remembered clearly at any time. "When I was younger, I used to sneak out of the house in winter to watch the sky," Scully said softly. "Or rather, I used to sneak out on top of the house to watch the sky--it was the only way to get high enough to have an unobstructed view. And I would lie there in the cold night air, staring up at the sky, filled with a sense of awe like nothing I had ever felt before. "One Christmas, my mother gave me a book of T.S. Eliot's work. Just by chance, the first thing I read out of it was 'The Hollow Men.' That night, I crawled up to the roof, those lines firmly planted in my head." "And did you agree with him?" Mulder asked, curious. "I couldn't decide, not that night, and not for a long time afterwards," Scully said, tilting her head to watch the moon above her. "Sometimes I would think the universe had to end with a bang, with a display of magnificence equal to the splendor of its creation. But other times, I would think the universe must have expended all its glory in that instant of creation, that anything we see from that point on is merely a dwindling shadow of what has come before." "So what did you finally decide?" Mulder said quietly, turning his head slightly to glance at her. Her face was mostly hidden by the hood of her jacket, but he could clearly see the stars reflecting brightly in her eyes. "I've come to believe the world will end only when there's nothing left to feel awe about," Scully said finally. "I look up at the stars now and I still feel wonder. I still feel as though I am witnessing something spectacular and special. And as long as I can still have that feeling in my life, whether witnessing a birth or observing a sunset... or watching the stars at night with someone who means everything to me... "As long as I can still feel awe, the world will never end." Mulder stared up at the stars above him, wondering how Scully could have known exactly what he needed even before he did. How does she always do it, he thought--how does she always restore my faith before I even know it's slipping away? But as he watched her eyes roam over the sky above them, he realized she hadn't merely been restoring his faith in the world... She'd been restoring her own, too. Mulder turned his head again, the constellations clear and brilliant above him, each one an image of fluidity captured in stillness. There was Orion, drawing his bow back to continue the hunt anew this night. Over against the horizon was Pegasus, unfolding his wings to sweep across the night in silent majesty. And right over there, filling nearly a third of the sky, was Centaurus, ready to teach the truth to those who would listen. "Hey Scully..." Mulder reached his hand above and behind him, grasping the hand he had known would be reaching for his. "Yeah Mulder..." In quiet unison, he felt their hands squeeze together. "Thanks for the stars." * * * -30- * * * Story End * * * -30- * * * I hope everyone had a happy holiday season, and may you all find joy and wonder in the new year. ~Snark snark_911@yahoo.com