From: Hugs2Kissz Date: 21 Feb 2000 03:46:58 GMT Subject: NEW: On Instinct Title: On Instinct Author: Casey Feedback: Hugs2kissz@aol.com Rating: PG Summary: Mulder searches for some contentment. Spoilers: None in particular, but this story takes place after Closure. Disclaimer: The X-Files, along with all characters, and themes are the property of Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions, and 20th Century Fox. No infringement is intended. Feedback: Yes, please do. It's what keeps me writing. Author's Notes: I want to thank all of you who sent me feedback on my last story: "Eyes Closed". I really appreciated all of it, because I hadn't posted in a while^and it was so encouraging to hear from you. So here we go again! I was lying in bed reading an old English classic of mine when I heard the sound of someone inserting a key into my front door lock, and then I heard the definitive sound of an unlatching dead bolt. I was not anxious or nervous to hear the door open, because I knew there was only one possibility as to who had entered, and I was not worried about their purpose for being in my apartment. I hadn't seen him since I left the office on Friday afternoon. We were due back at work tomorrow morning. It had been a nice weekend, and I was ready for our first regular case in a while. I put my book down on the bedside table and started to push my comforter aside so I could meet him out in the family room and see what he needed but that was when I saw him approaching the bedroom door. He was wearing black jeans and a gray sweater that I remembered complimenting him on once before. He looked very nice, but there was something disturbing about his appearance. He looked bothered. Neither of us spoke as he made his way over to the bed. I had moved into a sitting position with my legs dangling over the side. He looked down at me with curious and deep eyes. I noticed that his hair was a bit damp from the rainy weather, and he shivered a bit as he stood there. The urge to reach my hand up and smooth his hair was overwhelming. A look burned in his eyes at that moment that moved me deeply. You know that feeling you get when something monumental threatens to happen or is happening? That's the feeling I got from him that night. I can't say that it scared me, but it did unnerve me. It was as if he was finally questioning what there was between us without speaking a word. We had been through so much in the past few months. I felt for him in every way. His entire belief system had been challenged and then literally erased, but he stood strong, and he continues to stand strong. But, as I looked into his eyes that night, I didn't see strength, I saw need. "Mulder?" I whispered softly to him. He acknowledged me with his eyes but didn't speak. "Mulder, what is it?" I looked into his eyes and waited for an answer. I didn't want to push him. He obviously needed something. Once again, "Mulder? Are you ok?" He nodded slowly, his head moving up and then down a few times. I finally decided to try something. If it would end this horrible waiting period, I was ready to try anything. I scooted back on the bed so that I was sitting in the middle. He watched me with an intense stare, but he didn't move. Then, I reached out my hand to him in a silent invitation to join me. He accepted almost immediately. A small smile touched his mouth, as if to say thanks, before he bent down to slip off his shoes and then climb into the bed. He turned onto his side and looked at me. I reached over him and turned off the only lamp lighting the room. It became so dark in my room that I could barely make out his features next to me. Mulder put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. I, in turn, wrapped my arms around him protectively. My eyes had adjusted to the light enough to see his eyes. I was content to just lay there with him. He needed it, and the more I thought about it, so did I. I needed it. I need Mulder. I have always known that, but being in his embrace and looking into his naked eyes really drives the point home. My thoughts were interrupted when he spoke suddenly for the first time that night, " I just wanted to be with you." I reached my hand to his cheek and slid it downward till my hand rested against his chest. He clasped our hands together and closed his eyes. I accepted this and closed my own eyes. I was tired all of a sudden. I wanted nothing more than to find a peaceful sleep. I felt Mulder's grip on our hands loosen. He was falling asleep. I was happy to see him relax. His face looked so peaceful and young. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his forehead in a chaste kiss. I leaned back and rested my head on my pillow. I gathered the blankets up around us and tried to fall asleep myself. "Thank you Scully." I opened my eyes to the darkness and asked, "For what Mulder?" He said convincingly, "For always making me feel loved." I looked to him with all of the love I felt and said "Always Mulder, always." Then, we both slept. Maybe something happened to Mulder that night to cause him to seek me out. I haven't asked him to this day. Maybe he just felt lonely, but I'm done questioning it because the truth is, I don't care what brought him to me, because if I were in his situation, my instincts would have driven me to find him. He ended up at my apartment on instinct. He knew I would be there for him. Thank God he knows that. I will always be there, Mulder. The End Please send some Feedback.