From: "Elizabeth Robson" Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2000 12:26:59 -0500 Subject: On Stage Fun Source: xff Title: On Stage Fun By: Lyz Email: MagicWillow@eznet.net GENRE: MSR? H, little bit of an S RATING: PG-PG-13 (few objectionable phrases) SUMMARY: lots of nonsense from the end of 'triangle.' just laugh, k? :) AUTHOR'S NOTE: i thought about what it was like on the set. it's something different that i wanted to try. and i read something like it somewhere else. any phile who doesn't know who 'God' is, better just stop now. and sorry most of it is dialogue. DISCLAIMER: i do not own mulder or scully. the other people you see own themselves because they're big people now... :) ARCHIVE: Xemplary, Gossamer. anywhere else, ask, please. Thanx to Jillian to reading it and laughing to make me feel better. FEEDBACK: PLEASE?! "Scully," Mulder called back to her before she left the hospital room. "Yes?" Scully came back and rested her hands on the rail that kept patients from falling out of bed. "I love you." Scully smiled, leaned forward, and kissed him. "Cut!" the director called out. He stormed up to the actors who were doing their best not to laugh and piss him off any more. "Gillian, you have to do this part right." This was the third time they had stopped because they messed up on purpose. They knew there were some big fans and interviewers watching and they wanted to put on a good show. Gillian shrugged. "Fine," and smiled again. "Action!" "Scully?" "What?" This time Mulder leaned forward and grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her. Everyone watched it deepen. "Cut!" But they didn't stop and the rest of the crew- even God- was laughing. When they were finally pulled apart, they were laughing like goons. "Why can't you two just be serious for once?" "But I *did* do it right this time!" Gillian answered in a little girl voice and gave herself Bambi eyes, "It's *his* fault!" "I thought Mulder *was* serious about loving Scully, so I added." "Don't add. And wouldn't your wife be appalled?" David shook his head. "I don't think so," he pointed off screen. Te waved and giggled a little bit. "And what about your little girl, Gillian?" "Ok, first of all, she wouldn't understand it. Second of all, she's at her dad's house." Again with the cute voice. "Let's- take- it- again," came slowly and dryly. "And this time, David, Gillian, do it right. Just like I said before." "Ok," David said, lying down again. "Aaannndd, action!" "Scully?" "Yes?" "Marry me," Mulder said. The director slapped his forehead. "Oh, Mulder!" Scully cried, "of course!!" "CCUUUTTT!!" Gillian looked up from David with `tears' in her eyes. "I'm going to be married!" He looked at David who shrugged and said, "Forgot my lines." Then, he walked to the wall and started to bang his head against it. "You're going to dent it or something. The walls are really paper thin." The director thought it was Gillian, but he couldn't be sure and it really didn't matter any more. Without turning to look at the actors (who were smiling and trying not to laugh), he called a break and walked out to who-knows-where. David stood to stretch, but sat back down quick when he remembered he was in a hospital gown. He reached out to his wife who was walking onto the `stage' and Carter went to Gillian to talk about her little girl. By the time they were ready to shoot again, a half an hour had passed and the director had taken aspirin and settled down almost completely. "Ok, people! Let's rye this again!" They took their positions. "Action!" "Scully?" "What?" "I love you." Scully turned to walk away, saying `oh, brother,' but she tripped over her feet. She fell as heavily as someone looking like that can fall to the floor. "Oof," was all anyone heard. Gillian didn't even try to get up, just lay there half laughing, half moaning. "Cut," was heard, only it didn't sound the least bit upset. David got up, watching his gown to make sure it didn't fly open (though he was wearing boxer-briefs). He want over to where his acting partner was. As he picked her up, she laughed at a thought and whispered to him, "boxers or briefs?" "Seriously?" "No." "Neither." Gillian laughed harder. She found herself going limp, out of David's grasp, and landing on the floor in a pile. Her legs were crossed Indian style and she was folded over forward until her head reached the ground and stayed like that for less than a minute. It was long enough to get the reaction of `how much sugar did you have today?' David climbed in into the bed and Gillian, finally contained, took her stance at the `doorway.' "Action." "Scully?" "Yes?" "I love you." "Really?" "No, not really." Cut. Gillian went back to the doorway. Action. "Scully?" "Yes?" Scully pushed herself away from the bed (Gillian watching her feet) and answered with, "Oh, brother." Cut. Finally, something they could use. "Take it one more time," God said from the shadows. Gillian looked up. "But we did it right this time." She gave him the puppy-dog eyes. "Again." Action. "Scully?" "What?" "Fuck me." Cut. "I'll cut your pay check, too!" Action. "Scully?" "What?" "Make sweet love to me." "Kay." Cut. One more time. Action. "Scully?" "Yes?" "I love you." "Oh, brother." Fade out and cut. As they were packing to leave, David leans over to Gillian and whispers, "Boxer-briefs, actually." Gillian laughs. Then he says out loud as he's walking out, "Bye, Gillian! I'll see you tomorrow!" "Bye David! Bye Te!" "Say `hi' to Piper for me, kay?" God yells to Gillian as she walks out.