From: Michele Connole Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 03:09:46 -0700 (PDT) Subject: xfc: One Heartbeat (1/1) Source: xfc Title: One Heartbeat Author: MaidenJedi Rating: PG-13 for language Archiving: Spooky's, Gossamer, and everywhere you want to put it. Category/Keywords: S/A, LGM, myth, Requiem-babyfic (darn!) Summary: Searching for the truth is only the first step. Spoilers: Requiem, of course. Other than that, possibly anything from any season up through US7 Author's Notes: This is not really a sequel to "Bitter Pills", my Scully POV post-Requiem fic, so you don't have to read it too. 11-11-94 was the original airdate for "One Breath". This story was inspired by the Church of X's June Challenge to write a babyfic that didn't follow babyfic rules. So, here goes. I don't know if the science in here is possible at all, but I refrained from the traditional methods of fertilization because I know Mulder would have tried alternative ways if they existed. Thanks also goes out to The X-Philes Fan Club for inspiring the "what Mulder keeps in his refrigerator" idea. A big thanks to Jessica T. for having a "Major Brain Wave" and giving me a way to tie up the loose ends on this story! I expounded a little on her theory, adding the involvement of the nefarious (dontcha just love that word) Alex Krycek. Disclaimer: Not mine! Dana Scully, CGB Spender, Melvin Frohike, John Byers, Ringo Langly, Marita Covarrubias, Alex Krycek, and Fox Mulder are the property of 1013, Chris Carter and Fox. I'm just borrowing them, I swear! ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ "The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." -- Pascal ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ MULDER'S APARTMENT SATURDAY, MAY 27, 2000 There was only one room that Scully had not yet cleaned out. The Gunmen had been by that morning to pick up Mulder's furniture; Langly had said they would keep it as long as Scully needed them to. That was a relief, one less thing she had to worry about. Getting them to leave her alone in the apartment was another thing. "Scully, the phones have been turned off. What if you have another episode?" Frohike's brow had creased heavily with concern. But Scully knew better. "The doctor says I shouldn't have them anymore. I'm nearly a month along, and in perfect health. And c'mon guys, call me Dana." Hearing "Scully" roll off anyone's tongue other than Mulder's hurt horribly. It was *his* prerogative above all others. "But..." "No buts, I have my cell phone." "Well what about all these boxes?" Byers' turn to worry now. "You shouldn't do any heavy lifting in your...condition." He began to blush furiously. Scully almost laughed at the three of them, wanting to tell them not to worry so much. She was beginning to get an inkling of the loyalty they felt for Mulder. This was his child she was carrying, and she was, in Frohike's vernacular, Mulder's "chickadee". "Guys, I'll be fine. But if you're that worried," and they were, she could read it on each of their faces, "then maybe you could take some of these boxes and store them at your place for now." Three heads nodded enthusiastically, and set about doing the work. Now, two hours later, Scully was alone in the apartment. The rooms were all cleaned, at least as much as she could manage, and now all that remained was the kitchen. She didn't know why she had avoided it so far. Easily it was the place she had the fewest memories of. Mulder's bedroom and his living room had caused her little grief, though she had avoided sitting on either the bed or the couch; nearly avoided looking at either one, really. Now the apartment was empty save for a box she had asked Frohike to leave for her, a box filled with personal things she wanted to keep close to her, and a bag filled with water and three goldfish. The tank was already at her apartment by now. And she was ready to leave, as soon as she cleaned out the kitchen. Perhaps she should rest a bit, before tackling the kitchen. No, time for that later, baby or no baby. The power was off, so the whole place was virtually silent save for the pounding of her own heartbeat in Scully's head. She began by opening his cabinets, now empty. Nothing there. She cleaned the stove, almost pointless, because she knew he never used it other than to boil water. Mulder was a microwave kinda guy. Scully mopped the floor, she scrubbed the counters. She was a regular Girl Scout, leaving the place cleaner than when she found it. Finally she was done. She cleaned up her own mess, and prepared to leave. All she had left to do was turn in her key to the super, and sign the papers.... Wait. The refrigerator. In retrospect, Scully would wonder why she had waited until the very end of her stay to open the refrigerator. She would wonder why she hadn't done it first thing, in order to be sure nothing spoiled. And she wonder why Mulder never told her what he kept in there. She pulled open the door, half expecting the light to come on before remembering that the power was off. There was a carton of orange juice that had probably been empty for months. There was a bottle of Pepto Bismol (she smiled at this, thinking of the chili Mulder had had back in February that wreaked havoc with his digestive system). And in the butter tray, there were two little vials. She frowned. *What on earth could these be?* she wondered. She picked them up and looked at the one that was labeled. "SCULLY, DANA K." After that was a date, a date she knew well. 11-11-94. The date of her return after her abduction. Vertigo overcame her, and she had to sit down. Tears began to course down her cheeks as she realized what must be in this vial. Why had he never told her? Why had he kept this to himself? To what purpose? Her heartbeat was the only sound she could distinguish. She laid her head down on the cool linoleum, needing to cool her burning cheeks and try to stay the oncoming nausea. *My heart....alone....* It was the last coherent thought she had. It was a long time before Scully had the energy to leave the apartment. ~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~ Nighttime, for Dana Scully, was frightening and empty. It had been that way ever since Mulder left for Oregon with Skinner. But it had never been like this before, this all-encompassing silence around her heart and soul. Even at the darkest hours of her life, she had had something to cling to, something to grasp. She sat in the dark living room on the floor contemplating what she had discovered. A vial. A vial she found in Mulder's refrigerator. A vial she found in Mulder's refrigerator with her name on it. She had left the vial with Frohike and Langly while Byers drove her home. They promised to know what was in it before dawn. The drive to her apartment in the rain had yielded little but silence. Byers hadn't left her side for nearly an hour, going through things and making sure she was safe. When he finally left, pleading with her silently to take comfort from him (for perhaps only John Byers really understood what Dana Scully was going through), she had been relieved. Now it was only her. In the dark. What could that vial have contained, anyway? And why would Mulder have had it in his possession? Most importantly, why would he not tell her? Her stomach rumbled voraciously, interrupting her reverie. Her eating habits and appetite were already vastly different than they had been even a week ago. She sighed into the dark. This wasn't how she had expected to begin living her life post-Mulder (her mind played with the word...post-mortem...post-Mulder...and she shivered violently. ^away with that Scully^). She knew that the chances of finding him were slim, but she had intended to fully dedicate herself to doing so, regardless of the consequences. Now, though, there was a complication that, however welcome, was making things harder and harder. Mulder's baby. Her baby. It was like a miracle. There was no discernible medical reason for her pregnancy, except of course for the obvious one. But even that puzzled her to a degree. It was one time, in over seven years, and she had been told, over and over, that she was infertile as a result of her cancer. Barren. Unable to bear children. So how was this possible? The phone rang. "Hello, Frohike?" "No, this is Byers." He tightened slightly, aware that his position was always a small one in her eyes. Scully smiled a little in the dark. Of course. Of all three of them, Byers had taken her pregnancy and Mulder's abduction the hardest, perhaps being the only one who fully understood the situation in all its facets. "Do you have news for me?" "Yes. But I...we...think you need to be told in person." "Ok, I'll drive over." She felt her body tense at his suggestion. This was too much, they were babying her too much. "No, Sc...Dana. We'll be there shortly." And with that, he hung up. ~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~*~*~ THE LONE GUNMEN'S APARTMENT "Byers, why did you tell her we were coming over? You could have let her drive over." Langly stared at Byers, unbelieving. "Because, she shouldn't be driving in this weather." "What weather? The rain ended hours ago." Frohike raised an eyebrow. He was pretty sure he knew what was going on here. "Byers?" "Mmm?" "Dude, she can handle this. She's pregnant, not mentally unstable." "Yeah, well, what if she faints again? Or something worse? She doesn't know what was in that vial. She needs the comfort of her own surroundings." Langly was perturbed. It was an ungodly hour anyway, and he was exhausted. "Look, we all agreed that we should tell her in person, but it isn't necessary...." "Yes, it is." Byers looked Langly in the eyes, and the two squared off mentally. Frohike broke the standoff. "Ok ok. Langly, you stay here, get some sleep. Byers and me will go." Byers stared at Langly, who conceded. "Ok, dude. You both go. I'll keep the light on for you." ~*~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~ SCULLY'S APARTMENT Scully stared at the two men. "It was what, again?" "Ova. Human ova." Frohike looked at Byers, begging him to take over. This was news no one should have to hear. But Byers just stared off into the distance, almost as though he wasn't here at all. And Frohike would bet that he'd have to call his name a few times before Byers would answer. "Mine." Frohike gulped. "Yeah." "Why wouldn't he tell me? Why keep it secret?" "Because he wanted the timing to be right. That's what he told us. But we never knew..." "Cut the crap, Frohike. You knew." "No, Scully, honest to God. We didn't. Mulder didn't tell us everything you know." Scully sighed heavily and crossed her arms across her chest. "So you're saying that the vial had been there since Emily?" "No." Scully and Frohike looked at Byers. "What do you mean?" Scully whispered. "It was removed at one point." "By whom? Mulder?" She could handle that. It would be just like him to do it without her consent, not wanting to make his intentions obvious. She could live with it if Mulder had taken it upon himself to have her ova replaced at some point while she was sick or even during her yearly physical without her knowledge. She'd heard of procedures that weren't obvious, that could be done just like a pap smear or.... "No, Scully, it wasn't Mulder. There were three obvious sets of fingerprints on that vial." She closed her eyes. She knew. "It was that bastard, wasn't it, Byers?" Oh, there were procedures alright. And there had been at least twelve hours during which that smoking son of a bitch could have had it done. It, and so much more. Her hand flew to her heart, the other to her womb. "No..." she whispered, half-choked. "No..." "Scully, sit down. Come on." Byers held her upper arms and gently pushed her into a chair. Frohike merely watched, suddenly afraid of what this could all mean. In his heart, he wanted to believe it was Mulder's baby, but in his mind, he knew what the chances were that it was someone else's. Byers held Scully's hands, trying to distract her, trying to get her calm again. Her breathing was so rapid it was scaring him. "C'mon, Scully, it'll be okay, it'll be fine." He repeated this chant for a full five minutes before she blew up, enraged. "Ok? Fine? Until today I was happy, do you hear me, happy, because I thought I was carrying Mulder's baby. I believed it. Because he was the only wuh-one." Tears clogged her throat, making her stutter. "Do you guys get it? He was the only one. In more than seven years. And n-now I f-f-fuh-find this d-d-damned vial...." Her voice broke and she gave way to sobbing uncontrollably. Frohike made a mad dash forward with a handkerchief, and Byers held her in his arms, desperate to comfort this woman. To comfort her for Mulder. "I should h-have known, Byers, I sh-sh-sh...I'm the m-m-medical d-d-duh-doctor and I know the cha-hances were n-n-ull. I sh-sh-should've nuh-known...." "You couldn't have Scully. And this is not proof of anything. You know that too, don't you?" "Yuh-yes..." Frohike wiped her cheeks. "Its ok, chickadee, its ok. We'll find out." ~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* TUESDAY, MAY 30, 2000 THE LONE GUNMEN'S APARTMENT Two days later, and Byers was still at the computer, hacking into every available resource for Scully's medical records just after her return and just after her cancer. So far, no soap. This was a task that challenged even the most deftly skilled hacker, and Byers was a little rusty. Until now, they had left most of the hacking to Langly, because Frohike and Byers were able to play the public scenes less obviously than he and he needed something to do. But Byers had insisted on doing triple duty this time. Like a man obsessed he worked, tirelessly and without complaint. It was Mulder's spirit in him, the need to find answers, the need to know the truth. At last, he was making progress. What the hell? "Scully, I think you should take a look at this." Scully, Frohike, and Langly circled behind Byers at the computer desk. On the screen were these words under what appeared to be a medical chart: "DOCTORS NOTES FOR SCULLY, DANA KATHERINE. 02-27-00. FERTILITY RESTORED THROUGH INJECTION EXPERIMENTATION, LAST DATE 12-30-98. SUBJECT APPEARS TO HAVE REGAINED FERTILITY STATUS, OVA APPEAR HEALTHY AND UNCHANGED." "What the..." Langly stood up straight, shocked. "Scully, what the hell?" Frohike turned to her, to see her staring gape-mouthed at the screen. Scully couldn't believe what she was reading. "I had a tetanus shot....I remember because I had cut myself on a broken Christmas ornament...." She blinked hard and fast, as if to clear her mind. "But that doesn't explain...." "Wait." Byers pulled up a second screen, this one not a medical chart, but a record of some kind. "The dates on this correspond with your, uh, excursion with CGB Spender." Sure enough, it was an inoculation record, or so it appeared. "But I wasn't injected with anything. I checked for marks." Upon closer inspection, the chart yielded far worse information. "Oh my God." It was in unison, as all four of them realized what they were reading. "It can't mean anything, Scully." He reverted back to habit in his shock. "But it does, and you know it, Byers." Her eyes were closed, and for a moment the three of them were sure she would faint on them again. "You all know it." Her eyes opened. "Mulder knew. He *knew* that I was fertile again because he himself oversaw it. It says so here, *right fucking here*!" This last was nearly shouted, and Scully turned away from them. "But that doesn't explain why Ol' Smoky's prints..." Silence fell over the group, as Scully's stifled sobs abated and confusion swept them. Why, indeed? What interest would he have had? "Byers." Her voice was tired, drained, resigned. "Yeah?" His voice was even more timid than usual, apprehensive that the slightest provocation would set her off. "Could you...run a DNA test for me?" Frohike's voice sounded softly. "Oh God, Scully...." Realization of her meaning hit him first. "You don't really think....?" It hit Byers. He realized he had to, had to for all their sakes and piece of mind. But mostly, they owed it to Mulder. He had given Scully a gift, never predicting the outcome, perhaps, but nevertheless it was a gift that needed protecting. The gift of "Life." The others turned to him, questioning. "Life." He turned solemn eyes up toward Scully. "Mulder gave you back the gift of life. We owe to him to find out." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "It's Mulder's." Byers held his breath, not knowing what sort of reaction to expect from Scully. Frohike and Langly had long since left, on missions to find out the whereabouts of C.G.B. Spender and Alex Krycek, both of whom could yield further information. But all she did was nod. "Yes." They stared at invisible spots on the desk. The moment was heavy with remorse and longing to the point where Byers was sure one of them would cry out, and probably himself. Scully finally spoke, breaking the silence. "What did he do, Byers?" She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. "What did he do to secure this for me?" Byers had a theory. He didn't want to share it with her, because it was an explosive one. He wasn't even one hundred percent sure it was the right theory, and he hated to be proven wrong. But she stood there, waiting and wanting his version. "Well...." he began, then coughed loudly. He could feel his throat tighten involuntarily as his mind chanted at him to not tell her what he truly believed. What Frohike had deduced from evidence Langly dug up. "This is conjecture, Scully. Pure unadulterated theory." He prayed this would deter her.h She opened her eyes, silently begging him to continue. "We, uh, we know for sure that the date on the vial was not necessarily the date your ova was harvested. They put the dates of return on the vials in Betsy Hagopian's case as well, and Penny Northern's, and more, we're sure of it." He paused. He was skirting the issue broadly, and Scully knew it. It wasn't fair to her, but this was the way he had to do it. "Frohike found out something else," Byers continued, hesitant and a little frightened. "Mulder was an abductee himself." This was nothing new to Scully. Samantha's file at those mines had been his to begin with, that much they knew. And given all the evidence they could find, the ship was indeed carrying only abductees, which meant that Mulder had to have been one at some point. It had only been suspected until now, though. She sat down hard on the chair next to Byers. "That's not all there is to tell me, is it, Byers?" "No. We think that in turn for returning your ova, Mulder may have sealed his fate to be abducted once again." He shut his eyes against the look that appeared on her face. Indeed, the blood rushed from her face, and tears welled up in her eyes. "He did what?" "Like I said, this is conjecture, Scu...Dana. Someone knew he would be abducted in Bellefleur. And its only logical to assume it was Spender. His prints are all over that vial." "But..." It made sense to her, in spite of everything. It was hard to grasp, that Mulder would keep something from her, especially when they had finally managed to grow closer than ever before. It was the perfect theory, and she knew it. She sighed again, and covered her face with her hands. Byers let his guard down and tentatively reached for her hands, wanting to comfort her, this mother of his best friend's child. Wanting to be there for her because Mulder wasn't. Tears slipped down his face, sobs racked his thin frame. And in the end, it was she who held him. ~~*~~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ SCULLY'S APARTMENT A NIGHT LATER She lay prone on her bed, above the covers. The blinds were drawn against the last fading shades of twilight. The only sound she heard in the room was her own heartbeat. Thudding loudly in her ears, it persisted no matter how she tried to ignore it. Mulder. He was all she had thought of for the past twenty hours or so. Mulder. Mulder's hair, Mulder's nose, Mulder's arms, Mulder's hands.... She heard the phone ring, interrupting her thoughts. Mulder's cellphone. "Hi you've reached Dana Scully. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." "Dana, its Mom. Just wanted to tell you that Bill and Tara are coming up next weekend. Give me a call sweetheart. Bye." Mulder's heartbeat. He had given everything up for her, according to what Byers had hypothesized. Was it possible? Was it right? Say it ain't so. His heartbeat. She tried to block the thoughts. She didn't want to believe Mulder would ever do such a thing, that he would have told her had he spoken to that man, cut a deal. And had she not known, Skinner would've known while they were in Bellefleur, he would've been able to tell, Mulder would've given some sign. No, she had to believe it wasn't so. It struck her then why the room was so quiet, so eeriely devoid of life. There was only one heartbeat, only her own heartbeat. The thought curled her into a fetal ball, a small keening cry escaping her lips even as she pressed them together. Her hands covered her stomach, trying to suppress the expected nausea at such a depressing realization. That's when she felt it. She uncurled, slowly, the tears running freely down her cheeks, her hands still clutching her abdomen. It was tiny, so impossibly tiny, and it was medically ridiculous. But a laugh escaped her anyway. Mothers know, she thought. Mothers always know. The life inside her was barely over a month into it's steady growth, but she knew. It was a heartbeat she had felt there. Mulder and herself, beating as one, beating strong and beating steady. One heartbeat had not been enough for Scully, not without him by her side. But in this second heartbeat, she found comfort. It was not precisely Mulder (and her heart still ached as it had before), but it was part of him. And she had the strength of that belief. ~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~~**~~*~*~*~*~* EPILOGUE SOMEWHERE IN D.C. THAT SAME NIGHT "The arrangements were made, Marita. And Mulder walked right into it." She looked at her companion with a mixture of admiration and utter distaste. How could she have been attracted to this man? The need to destroy was like his aura. She could almost, *almost* see it if she squinted long enough. "Alex, she's pregnant with his child. You should have stopped it. The smoking man was right." "What do I care if she's pregnant? Mulder wouldn't cooperate, and Scully isn't a threat without him. I couldn't've stopped him had wanted to anyway. And you know it." "What does? The lies, the secrets? Or perhaps your own syndicate? Is that what you want?" "No, Marita." He chuckled at her as though she was an amusing child. "I don't want the syndicate, not in any shape it comes. But I welcome the end of the world. Mulder was going to try and stop it." She glared at him. "What do you know about Scully's sudden miracle?" He glared back. "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It was the old man's business. He did it as a favor to himself, thinking he was somehow repaying her for damages done." "Did Mulder know?" Alex Krycek turned and started walking away from this woman he had grown to despise even more than ever before. "No." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ the end. for now, unless my muse has other plans! feedback gratefully devoured at texgoddess@yahoo.com other stories at http://www.geocities.com/texgoddess ===== "Ginger had it easy. She had only had to do everything that Fred did, but backwards and in heels."--- anonymous How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac says "Lets just be friends." http://www.geocities.com/texgoddess (the kiosk) Aries: (March 21--April 19) You will lose all credibility when it is revealed that, contrary to your claims, your life is not based on a true story. (from "The Onion")