From: "TCrow75704" <tcrow75704@aol.com>
Date: Thursday, May 11, 2000 6:01 PM
Subject: New: One More Gunshot (1/1)

Title: One More Gunshot
Author: TCrow75704@aol.com (Taryn Crow)
Rating: PG
Category: Angst, a little MSR or a lot depending on how you look at it
Feedback: Appreciated
Summary: Mulder gets shot.  What else is new?
Disclaimer: I have a confession...I'm not Chris Carter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
	Scully approached the hospital room with a nervous flutter deep in her gut. 
Her whole body was trembling and she grabbed her own hand to still it's
shaking.  Her palms were sweaty, so she smoothed them down the front of her
blank pants-suit to wipe the moisture away.  Her nerves were so unsteady at the
moment that it made her feel slightly nauseous.  She stopped short just outside
of room 1108.  There was a see-through black file holder screwed onto the wall
next to her.  She ran her hand along the edge of the manila folder tucked
inside the holder and brushed her thumb along the sticker that read MULDER, FOX
W.  She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes
briefly before she walked through the door and into the sterile white room.
	The doctor had told her the outlook was not so good.  Mulders surgery had went
well, but despite pulling through a nine hour ordeal under the knife, the
gunshot wound to his chest was still posing a serious threat to his life.  He
was in a coma now.  But, if he remained in the unconscious state for much
longer, his chances of survival would seriously drop.  The doctor had hinted
that any last words for Mulder should be shared as soon as possible.
	Scully approached the side of Mulders bed while keeping her eye on the heart
monitor across from them.  A slow, but steady series of green blips scrolled
across the screen, a one-second delay between each beat.  She did her best to
ignore the IV line running into his left arm and the noise of the respirator
beside her.  She lowered the metal rail on his right side and searched behind
her for the white, plastic chair she knew was standard for every room in the
hospital.  It slid noisily across the tile floor and she sat down softly,
taking a moment to adjust the position so she was tilted towards Mulders head
and in reach of his hand.
	"Mulder it's me," she said quietly, and then laughed softly to herself at her
own overused statement.  "I'm sorry, bad habit.  Well, you've sure done it this
time Mulder.  I don't know what you were thinking going into that warehouse
alone without a vest on...I'm sorry, I didn't come here to reprimand you.  I
just wanted you to know some things before...well I just wanted you to know
some things."  Scully sighed softly and reached for his hand, covering it with
her own.
	"I want you to know that these seven years with you, they've been wonderful
for me.  Everything.  There's a lot we never said to each other but...some of
it just goes without saying.  I think we both know what we mean to each other. 
And despite all the arguments or miscommunications we've ever had, I always
trusted you.  Even if it seemed like I didn't, I just want you to know that I
always had faith in your judgment."
	"And now," Scully started, "I still have faith that you'll do the right thing.
 If it's too much for you Mulder, if you can't hold on any longer, I just want
you to let go.  Just relax, and let go.  I...I'd miss you."  Scully paused to
swallow the lump in her throat.  "I'd always miss you, but I don't want you to
suffer like this if it's just too much, okay?  I'll just sit here and talk with
you until you decide what to do, all right?  I remember how it was for me once
to make a choice like this.  Only you can know if the struggle is too hard."  
	And then she was quiet for the next minute, contemplating what to say next. 
She slid her hand off of his and lifted his wrist slightly to slip her right
hand underneath his palm and stroke the back of his knuckles with her thumb. 
Her other hand gripped his forearm.  His skin was so soft, which surprised and
disappointed Scully at the same time.  It seemed like something she should have
known after all these years, but she didn't.
	"Do you remember our case in Home, Pennsylvania, Mulder?  When you told me it
was the first time you'd ever thought of me as a mother?"  She looked up
towards his face and then rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, as if expecting
the right words to float across the plaster wall.  "I have to tell you that
ever since then I had this wish.  A silly, stupid fantasy, that one day that
would happen.  I'd...I'd never thought of myself as a mother either, until
then.  I mean, of course, I'd thought about it.  But with my career, I didn't
even have time to go on a date, much less think about starting a family.  And
when you'd said that I could
see it, with us.  You, me, one or two kids.  I know you'd probably argue with
me, but I think you'd make a wonderful father Mulder."
	"And then...Emily.  I'm sorry Mulder, I didn't know how to tell you how much I
needed you with me then.  I should've let you be there more.  I
should've...well there's a lot of things we could go over that we should've
done."
	"Mulder just...there's just another thing I need you to know."  Scully pulled
her hand from his once again and brushed it over her face, holding it over her
mouth for a moment and closing her eyes.  When she opened them again she had to
blink rapidly several times to clear the moisture which had started to collect
above her bottom lids.  She blew out a short breath and willed her body to
relax, but her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty again.  The nervous
nausea was back along with the trembling from before.  She took a couple more
deep breaths to collect herself and then placed her left hand over Mulders
chest, feeling for the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingers.
	"I don't want you to leave me without knowing how much I love you," she
whispered.  "I know that you probably already know it, but I just wanted to say
it, and I'm sorry I waited until now."  She took her left hand and wiped at her
eyes, but not before a tear escaped from her eyelid and fell onto Mulders hand.
 "Jesus, I'm sorry."  She smoothed the wetness away from his skin and then
leaned down to press a light kiss against the back of his knuckles.  Her left
hand lingered above his heart, her right hand covered his own, and her head was
bowed and resting against his hip.  "I need you," she whispered and closed her
eyes.
	Scully didn't know if she fell asleep, but what seemed like minutes later,
there was a small flutter beneath her hand.  Mulders fingers had curled up,
causing his hand to rise off the bed underneath her own.  She pulled her head
up quickly and waited to see if she had just been dreaming.  It happened again,
a small twitch of his fingers and then his head shifted an inch to the right.
	"Mulder?" Scully sniffed and stood up out of the chair, leaning towards his
head for a better view.  There was more movement of his hand and he moved his
thumb, giving her hand a light squeeze.  Scully almost started laughing, the
excitement of that small gesture went racing straight to her heart.  Mulder's
eyes opened slightly and then closed again, then opened half-way and he looked
at her dazedly.
	"Don't move, Mulder.  Don't try to talk.  Hang on, I'm just gonna call the
doctor."  Scully leaned over the bed and fumbled for the cord to press the
nurses call button.  Mulder made a raspy moaning sound and Scully shook her
head.  "No sounds Mulder, you're on a respirator, just hold on okay, I'm
getting someone to take it out if possible."
	Mulder nodded slightly and took his hand away from hers.  He brought it up to
his ear, running his index finger along the inside shell of his ear and looking
at her intently.
	"What is it?  Does your ear hurt?"
	Mulders head turned back and forth against his pillow and he shut his eyes,
moistening his lips with his tongue.  He pointed to his ear again and the
dropped his hand back to his side and pointed at her.
	"You heard me?"  Scully asked, heat creeping up from her chest and along her
neck into her cheeks.  Mulder nodded, the sides of his mouth curling upwards in
a weak smile.  Scully ran her hand back and forth over Mulders arm and
shrugged, meekly.  "Well then..."
	Mulder fumbled to grasp her hand and gave it a small tug until she was leaning
closer to him.  His lips were moving and forming a string of words but she
couldn't quite make it out.  "Slow down Mulder."  He stopped and waited until
she nodded, then started each word carefully.  "I...I, love, you, back." 
Scully whispered the words his lips were constructing out loud and he nodded. 
"Oh Mulder..."  He gave her hand another squeeze and then reached up to run his
fingers along her hair and pull her head towards him.  She turned to the side
and let him pull her down to rest her ear against her chest.  His lips brushed
along the top of her head and she shut her eyes.  "Thank you," she whispered to
whatever force had brought Mulder back to her and waited for the doctor to
come.

The End