From: Robin Watters Date: Sun, 19 Apr 1998 18:12:44 -0700 Subject: One Time Too Many Title: One Time Too Many Author: Robin Watters Classification: Humor Rating: G Spoilers: None Summary: Scully gets ditched again and loses her cool... One Time Too Many By Robin Watters 5:00 p.m. Dana Scully stepped out of the diner into the hot Texas sun and paused juggling the bag of food and her purse into a more comfortable grip before crossing the two lane road that ran between the diner and the motel where Mulder was checking them in for the night. They had arrived in town early that morning to work on a disappearance that had kidnapping overtones and had worked all day without respite. Scully was looking forward to some hot food and a cool shower. As she made her way across, her steps slowed and faltered. Perplexed, she studied the motel parking lot. Their rental car was missing. Alarmed, she veered into the motel lobby and approached the desk. "Excuse me?" The clerk, an elderly gentleman, turned toward her and smiled. "The man I came with, did you see where he went?" "Oh, you're with that FBI fellow. Yes, he got a call and said he had to go follow a lead. Asked me to let you know." "He's gone?" Scully's voice rose in disbelief. "Yes M'am. Asked me to give you both room keys. Oh! And I found his credit card on the floor. He must have dropped it." The clerk slid two keys and the card across the desk toward her. Scully stared at him mutely a moment, then scooped up the items and marched out the door, muttering ominously. She let herself in to unit number 3 and dropped everything on the bed scrabbling in her purse for her cell phone. Savagely she punched the speed dial and paced while she listened to the ringing at the other end. She spoke without preamble upon hearing her partner pickup. "Mulder, where are you?" "Scully, I got a call from Byers. There's something I have to check out over in Leytonville..." "Leytonville! Mulder that's a hundred miles away! What about our case here?" "I need to get a jump on this. Listen, just relax and enjoy free cable. I should be back by tonight. - tomorrow at the latest." "Tomorrow? What am I supposed to tell the Sheriff...?" She heard the click and knew he'd never heard the question. He shoulders slumped and she stood staring at the dead phone in her hand in disbelief. There was a soft tap on the door. Scully tossed the cell phone on the bed and answered the knock. It was the clerk with their luggage. "Sorry to disturb you, Miss, but I have your bags here. Mr. Mulder put them out of the car and asked that I give them to you." Scully looked at them woefully and nodded. "Thanks." She bent and picked them up. "Anything else you need M'am?" "Nope." she started to turn away but then turned back and looked into his eyes. "But thank you for asking. You have no idea how much that means to me." She turned and pushed the door shut with her foot, leaving the confused old gentleman staring after her. 6:00 p.m. Scully lay on her stomach on the bed grimly attacking the ragged edge of a fingernail with an emery board. She had showered and changed into clean panties and a t-shirt, scraped her wet hair into a scrunchie and now she was finishing her toilette with a quick manicure. Periodically, she would press her lips together and shake her head slightly, willing herself not to give in to anger. It was a losing battle. She sat up abruptly, abandoning the emery board on the pillow. "He ditched me again. He's done it again! Why the hell shouldn't I be angry? Here I am, stranded in a motel in the middle of Texas..." It wasn't enough. Acknowledging the anger just wasn't enough. She needed action. She needed to *do* something. Scully took stock of her surroundings. Her eyes lit on Mulder's suitcase. Now *that* had possibilities. Hauling it up next to her on the bedspread she paused for an instant to reflect on the sin of going through her partner's personal effects behind his back. She looked at the mirror across the room. "If I don't do something right now, I'll just shoot him when he gets back," she reasoned with her reflection. With that she popped open the latches and lifted the lid. She started briefly at the scent that breathed itself out of Mulder's clothes, realizing that it was that scent she inhaled every day in their office. A blend of old paper and sunflower seeds. His clothes were permeated with it. She'd never really noticed it before. She decided she hated it. She lifted an armful of shirts, sweats and shorts and flung them on the bed without ceremony. Scully paused to check her anger level. Was that enough?...Nope. She added a handful of ties and socks and checked again... Nope, still mad. Her eye lit upon his shaving kit and she smiled. She picked up the leather pouch and slowly drew the zipper across, enjoying the sound it made. Inside she found a brush, a toothbrush in a plastic tube, toothpaste and a safety razor with a packet of extra blades. She laid the items in a precise line on the bedspread and considered each item separately. In the act of sitting back a bit to think, her hand landed on her emery board. She picked it up brought it to eye level and studied it. Then she smiled. Opening Mulder's safety razor and the packet of replacement blades she spent a happy few moments carefully dulling the edges of each blade and blowing away evidence before returning them to their respective containers. Then she returned his toiletries to the kit, zipped it closed and sat back. It would do...for now. 8:00 p.m. Stung by remorse at her shameful behavior with the razor blades, Scully dialed Mulder's cell number and listened. Her feelings of guilt evaporated at the eighth ring. After the 13th unanswered ring she hung up. She was hopping mad again. "He's turned his phone off, you know," she told her reflection calmly. "Either that or he left it in the car." Scully flopped back on the bed, and clicked the TV remote power button. "Oh, goody," she said ironically to no one in particular "Free cable." The television came up playing the World Wrestling Federation. Scully frowned and clicked again. She got an infomercial for hair care products. Click - Jerry Springer. Click - Baywatch! Click - When Animals Attack. Click. Click. Click...... "Just relax and enjoy free cable..." Dana mimicked her absent partner in an exaggerated cartoon version of his voice. Click - The Home Shopping Network. Cli - Wait! Dana backed up. Then she sat up. The Home Shopping Network. And it was having a Special on Health and Fitness items. Dana watched intently, unconsciously biting her lower lip. "Oh Mulder," she breathed, eyes riveted on the screen. "I bet you'd want that abdominal crunch thing. In fact..." she reached down the bed and retrieved Mulder's Mastercard. "I'm sure of it." She picked up her cell phone and dialed the number on the screen. "And maybe some of that seaweed and yeast drink stuff too...Hello? Home Shopping Channel? My name is Fox Mulder and I'd like to place an order..." 10:00 p.m. Scully squirmed and tried to concentrate on the book she brought from home. Maybe she went too far. $250 was a sizable chunk of money even though he'd be able to return the abdominal crunch thing, the seaweed-yeast drink, the buck wheat husk pillow, the rice cooker and the juicing machine. She sighed and closed the book. Well, she'd just have to confess what she'd done and help him ship the things back. She checked her watch and made a concerned moue. "He should have called by now..." Just as the thought completed itself her cell phone rang. She snatched it up. "Mulder! Where *are* you?" "Agent Scully?" AD Skinner's deep voice rumbled in her ear. She froze. He continued. "Am I to understand that neither of us knows where Agent Mulder is? - -again?" He did not sound like a happy man. "Yes, Sir... I mean no, Sir..." "Well which is it Agent Scully? You do or you don't ?" Scully cleared her throat and struggled to compose herself. "Agent Mulder is in Leytonville, following a lead. I've been expecting him to call and advise me of his...exact location." Her voice trailed off. It was no use. The three of them had been doing this dance far too long to try to deceive Skinner now. "Does this lead concern your current case?" "I'm not sure of the exact nature of..." "And while he's following this lead you are...?" Scully looked around the room which had begun to resemble a freshman dorm with fast-food wrappers and clothes on the floor. She sighed. "I'm waiting for him to come back...with the car." "I see. He's off chasing another phantom and he's ditched you again." "I guess it could look like that." "Agent Scully," Skinner sounded both sympathetic and ominous at the same time. "It could also look like the Bureau is paying for field work by two agents but only one of them is in the field while the other is..." Dana straightened up in shock upon realizing what her boss was trying to say. She finished it for him. "Loafing in the motel!" "Of course I know better than that, Scully, but you have to realize that these reports are read by others who don't know you two as well." "Oh God, you're right." "My advice agent Scully - - in fact, let's make this an order - - you take the first flight back tomorrow whether or not your partner has returned." She nodded mutely until she realized that he could not hear a nod. "Yes, Sir. I will. But what about the case here?" "I just got a call from the New Jersey police. Your missing person was found in a casino in Atlantic City, so there's no need for further Bureau involvement." "I see." "And Agent Scully? If Mulder does return? Please let him know I want to see him in my office the minute he touches down in D.C." "Of course. Yes." "Good night, Agent Scully. We'll talk tomorrow." Click. Scully pressed cold fingers to her flaming cheeks. A slacker! They might think she, *she* was a slacker. All those hours of hard work. All those autopsies. All those hours and hours of investigation and endless reports. They meant nothing if the latest report made her look like...What would her father think if he was alive to hear it! And it was all Mulder's fault! Once again she punched the speed dial on her cell phone. It rang twice and then she heard Mulder's voice. "Not now Scully, I'll call you back." - Click. Scully felt an icy calm descend on her. Slowly, and with elegant deliberation, she set the cell phone down. Then she rose and went into the bathroom where she turned on the shower. It took only two trips to carry most of Mulder's clothes and fling them into the shower stall. Leaving the water running, she returned to the other room and stood considering Mulder's second suit. Armani. Nice. She donned his white dress shirt and picked out a tie. Crossing to the mirror Scully flipped up the collar of the shirt and wrapped the tie around her neck skillfully tying it in a lovely Windsor knot. Her father would be proud. She hummed tunelessly as she worked. Then she sat on the end of the bed and pushed her legs into the trousers, reaching down to roll the bottom of the pant legs into huge, bulky cuffs. She added his belt, cinching it tightly and stood up. The pants did not fall off. She nodded in satisfaction. Now for the jacket... Once the ensemble was completed, she crossed to the mirror again and studied her reflection. She turned to check the right and left profiles and the backside. Mulder's clothing hung on her tiny frame like a double wide sheet on an army cot. "Cute! This looks pretty good on me. " She leaned in and looked herself in the eye. "Time for a swim, I think." She slipped the room key into the pants pocket and went out, heading for the pool. 11:00 p.m. Dana returned to the room refreshed, her normal good nature much restored. She slogged into the bathroom, walking on Mulder's pant legs which had unrolled in the pool, and turned off the shower. As she stripped the sodden clothing off herself, she heard her cell phone ring. She let it ring eight times before picking up. It was Mulder. "Scully where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for over an hour!" "I went for a swim, Mulder. Is there a problem?" "Skinner's on the warpath. He wants us back tonight. He's already booked us on the red eye." "Mmmm. How soon will you pick me up?" "Well, we're on opposite sides of the airport. Can you grab a cab and meet me there?" "I can do that." "I'm sorry about sticking you with the bags and everything..." "It's not a problem, Mulder." "OK. See you there." - Click. "O...K..." she finished to dead air. So Skinner booked them on the red eye. Well, that would give her just enough time to pack. She carefully wrung as much excess moisture from Mulder's clothes as she could, folded them as neatly as possible and put them back in his suitcase, pausing only to cut the hamburger she'd been saving for him in half and stuff the halves into his shoes - one half per shoe. Then she dried herself and dressed, packed her things, tidied up the room and called the cab. While she waited for the cab to arrive, she amused herself by breaking Mulder's Mastercard into pieces with her bare hands and taking the pieces out to the dumpster next to the soft drink machine. Mulder was not at the airport when she arrived, so she picked up their tickets at the counter and checked their bags - sending Mulder's to Hyannisport - bought a magazine and a decaf and sat in the main concourse to wait until Mulder showed up or the flight was called, whichever came first. Thirty minutes later she saw him bearing down on her, looking both flustered and tired. "Sorry I'm late. I had a problem at the rental car agency." He plopped into the seat beside her. "Problem?" "Yeah. Couldn't find my credit card! Did I leave it at the motel?" "How did you pay for the car?" She sidestepped his question. "I had cash...I wonder if I left it at the motel office..." "So. Was it worth it?" Dana asked, leafing coolly through her magazine. "Was what worth it?" Mulder asked distractedly, his mind still on the missing card. She turned her blues eyes pointedly at him. "Leytonville, Mulder. Was Leytonville worth it?" "Oh!" he ran a hand through his hair and collected his thoughts. "I think there's something there all right. We should look into it. " Just then their flight was announced. "I'll fill you in when we get settled on the plane." She nodded in response and stood up. "Hey, Scully," He said, looking carefully at her face. "You aren't mad at me, are you?" He did that lopsided grin thing that usually annoyed her because it usually charmed her. But she felt neither annoyed nor charmed. She found that she was able to smile back quite comfortably. "Not anymore." "Good! Thanks." He gave her arm a little pat. Her smile broadened. "My pleasure..." she said as they made their way to the plane. The End Feedback welcome: rwatters@ix.netcom.com