Title: The one truth (1/1)
Author: fuzzie628@aol.com (Fuzzie628)
Date: 27 Aug 1997 21:13:14 GMT~


DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to
Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used
without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will
be gained.

TITLE: The One Truth 

AUTHOR: Kate

EMAIL: fuzzie628@aol.com

CLASSIFICATION: Friendship, General life & death angst

SPOILERS: End Game, Memento Mori, small One Breath reference

SUMMARY: This is a short piece, examining the thoughts and feelings of
Dana Scully concerning two important events. The section is set during the
end of the episodes "End Game," while Sculy waits for Mulder to recover
from his exposure to the alien toxin.  The second is a brief look into
Scully's feelings after leaving Penny's room after her death, in the
episode "Memento Mori."  There is only one line of dialogue pulled from the
episodes, and the narrative shifts from Scully to omniscient narrator in
parts. If you haven't seen these episodes, this will probably make no
sense.  Comments are welcome, considering this is my first posting to this
group. 

Rating: PG

Archiving:  Feel free to, just please include my name, email, and the
ramblings above.

The One Truth

End Game
February 1995
Dead Horse, Alaska
Eisenhower Field Hospital

	Scully  looked at the sleeping Mulder with a mixture of concern
and disgust.  Why can't I feel one emotion at a time, she sighed. He would
be the death of her.  Laughing to herself, she thought of how many times
they had faced certain doom together.  What did he do before I came about
to bail him out of trouble every other day?  He must have kept a tighter
grip before they met, she thought.  Maybe once he knew he had backup he
could rely on, to whatever extend he let himself, he took off the safeties
on his pursuit of his quests.  Quests, she shook her head in bewilderment,
they seemed to be multiplying by the day.  Always first was his devotion to
the belief that he would find out what really happened to his sister.  His
one truth.  They never really discussed this at length, barley even spoke
of it after their first case together.  Maybe because he knew she didn't
share his faith.  So why did he rely on me so exclusively when we disagree
so often?  'Why not,' he would probably respond if she actually posed the
question to him. 

	Enough of this, Mulder will always be Mulder - driven to
stupidity.  And I will clean it up, till my next assignment, which could be
any day the way he pisses off all the powers that be.  Might just be the
best thing for me.  But I can't help wondering if I would ever find as
challenging an area, or partner for that matter, again within the FBI.  Not
exactly the thought that makes you want spend all your working days in an
organization.  I would miss his absolutely certainly in the absurd, more
than I probably realize.  But I have digressed too long.  I need to check
on his progress with his doctors, I need this treatment to work.  

 Later......
	Scully sat close to his bed, trying to look for signs of
flickering consciousness.  She couldn't believe it had only been 24 hours
since she first saw him, on the verge of death in the heating tub at the
trauma room of the hospital.  She remembered the feeling of her pulse
racing as she forcefully persuaded the doctor in charge to stop his
conventional treatments, that they were killing him.  Thankfully, he did
listen, and Mulder did respond to the treatment she outlined based on her
research she gathered on the retro-virus.  "Science," she said to the
sleeping figure in front of her, "Science, that is what is saving you this
time.  No alien being, no paranormal creature.  Science and me, and with
some help from your own stubbornness." 
	His tests' results were good, and he was making steady and gradual
improvements by the hour, even with his physical appearance.  Her greatest
fear now was brain damage, something that could not be completely assessed
till he was conscious and verbal again. Why hadn't he spoken yet? 
	Her concern grew as the hours past.  After 30 hours of the
treatment program, Mulder was still unconscious and Scully was very
worried. She thought about the possibly he might not wake up.  And she
suddenly understood how Mulder felt that day in the hospital after she was
returned from her abduction.  Panic, fear, and sadness, at the thought of
losing a part of yourself, a part you barely admit to having, let alone
acknowledge.  Scully pushed that thought from her head, they had been
through too much for either of them to check out now.  There were too many
answers they both need to find, too many things they both needed to say. 
She felt her anxiety rise up as the tears fell.  After a short cry, she
felt lighter, having recognized her fears, and given them a way to vent. 
Scully hated to cry, feeling it was the response of the weak, of the
defeated.  But she couldn't deny she always felt better afterwards. Now on
to you, Mulder, she thought, Wake up dammit!
	It was two hours later when Scully returned to his bedside.  The
nurse had told her his rest had grown more fitful, and he was showing signs
that he might wake soon.  She pulled the chair close to his bed, and
watched carefully.  Putting both her hands on his arm, she hoped the human
contact would reach him somehow.  Bring him back.  Her vigil was rewarded. 
She tried to make eye contact as he slowly began to stir and open his eyes,
hoping to give him a focus to come back all the way.  With his eyes mostly
open, and he looked over at her, she felt the warmth return into the room. 
And as he spoke his first words, she felt her face beam with happiness,
yes, return of the smartass.  He tried, largely unsuccessful, to make a
sarcastic and warm grin back. 
	"Thanks for ditching me."  She tried to say matter-of-fact way ,
feeling anything but at that moment.  He explained he wouldn't let her put
her life in jeopardy for purely personal reasons.  He alluded to his new
found hope for finding Samantha alive.  She told herself wasn't going to
disagree with him now about anything, no matter what he said.  All she
wanted to wrap her arms around his frail body and make him promise to never
run off on her again without telling her where and why.  But she knew he
never would make a promise like that, one they both knew he would never
keep.  So she just let herself feel good he was alive, and here, at this
moment. And so was she. That was an accomplishment when it came to being
assigned to the X-Files. 

Memento Mori
Allentown-Bethlehem Medical Center
Many years later.

	She had watched her as the life seemed to drain from her face, her
tired expression fade, the monitors go flat.  In many ways, her heart felt
as if it weighted a thousand times lighter than it had just 7 hours ago,
and she had Penny to thank. She had given her hope and dreams to her, and
Scully was going to hold more tightly to them than anything she had to in
her life.  Penny's  suffering was over, and a frightening and strange
journey was beginning for her.
	She went out into the hallway, and started to slowly walk towards
her room.  At that point she heard a voice, his voice, call to her from
outside the swirls of confusion in her head.  She looked at him, his sad
eyes wanting to comfort her, to be comforted.  As she walked closer to him,
she knew she wouldn't face this battle alone.  Together, maybe they could
find a way the other women had not.  

	They spoke in a such a tender manner to each other, much more than
they had in months, perhaps years, maybe ever.  As they held each other in
an embrace that seemed to last both seconds and hours simultaneously, they
both smiled.  Scully weakly,  Mulder fully, grinning with the belief that
they can find their way back.  They can win this battle and all the others
the to come. They would survive, together.  As she looked into his eyes,
she recognized the same intensity of feelings she felt within herself.  It
was almost frightening.  She slowly pulled herself away from his arms, his
comfort, to seek a few moments of solitude.  As much as she needed him to
support her, she also needed time alone to grieve for Penny, and herself. 
Walking away, she thought about his smile, looking so relieved to have her
safely within his grasp.  Pushing away the fears they both shared, if only
for a moment, the fears they had both felt too many times before.  She
remembered her many vigils at his many hospital beds over the past four
years.  If she could go back to herself at any of those times, she would
try to sway any doubts she was having about his trust and devotion to their
partnership.  The one truth she knew was that Mulder was committed to her. 
As she was committed to him.  The gray areas of the commitment weren't
important to her now.  It was enough to sustain her.  It had to be.