From: "G & D PAYDEN" Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 18:20:51 +1000 Subject: story Source: direct Reply To: <@fox.net.au> Spazim type: quirky krycek story ORANGE COFFEE by spazim Krycek walked calmly into Assistant Director Skinners office. It had been a long day and he wanted to go home and relax. He found Csm standing alongside Skinner. CSM had the ever present fag hanging out his mouth, despite Skinners no Smoking sign. He approached them. "Subjects terminated" he said. He thought of the building he had just blown up. He wasn't sure if their were people inside, and didn't care. Guilt was something he couldn't, shouldn't feel, not in this line of work. At leats the cute little puppies across the street were safe. CSM put an envelope on the table. Krycek started to move to pick it up when he noticed something strange. Both of the men seemed to be wearing kilts.Orange and pink kilts, along with bunny slippers, clogs and striped stockings. Knowing better, he didn't question their choice of clothing, rather he picked up the package and left, not even turning when he heard Backstreet Boys and the distinct sound of break dancing behind him. Head down, he made his way through the building. One wrong move and his life was over in here. After the whole Duane Barry incident he wasn't exactly on the FBI's good list. He walked into the elevator and started to go down. Something doesn't seem right he thought to himself. Ever so carefully he looked at his fellow elevator travellers. 3 men, 2 women and one orangutan. Hang on, he looked backed. Yes definitely an Orangutan. The monkey was travelling with the guy in the purple suit. "What the ..." he said as the doors opened to a mad house. The lower levels of the building had been turned upside down. Agents were running around acting crazy, flowers in their hair, dancing around, chasing goats, dressed in sheets, running naked... He watched a minute as a fairly attractive agent ran past him. "This is sooo not right" he said. Pulling out his mobile he called CSM. He was greeted with a rendition of "as long as you love me". "whoa. This is to much" he got back in the elevator and pushed the button marked basement and hoped Mulder wasn't still still sore from their last meeting. All was quite in the basement. Krycek carefully looked around. He put the envelope in his jacket pocket and headed toward Mulders office. He hoped Spooky and Science Freak Scully were down here. Having been their office this far in the ground, they would probably be the only 2 people who wouldn't have got whatever the others had. As he walked he remember a conversation he and Mulder had on the way to Russia. He had been probing Mulder about his relationship with Scully and asked if they had ever been 'intimate'. He found this to be touchy subject as Mulder replied sourly, "Scully and I are close friends, nothing more". He had pushed further by stupidly asking in vulgar context, if they had ever done it, in which Mulder replied with a strong puch to the head. After that, he stayed quite. "How can 2 people, sigle and of the opposite sex, work together for that long with ever having sex, or even kissing. Its criminal" He reached Mulders office and was about to knock when he heard a low moan from inside. His instincts told him Mulder may be in danger and was about to rush in, when anther idea popped into his head. Maybe they finally got together, after all this time, maybe working on a case all night together, being so far away from everyone, alone, with no chance of being disturbed their finally doing it. Then he was suddenly jealous. What about me Mulder?. Was that trip to Russian, the time in the cell, the peck on the cheeck all for nothing? He opened the door and went in. the moaning was coming behind the desk. Getting closer he found a jacket, some shoes and a tie thrown in a corner. His heart pounded. The thought of Mulder and Scully together depressed him, yet the thought of Mulder naked exited him. Hmm, nude Mulder, he thought looking over the desk. Their was Scully and Mulder, in a twisted heap, playing Twister. " Hey there Krycek, wanna play?" asked Scully, giving him a big cheesy grin. "uh no, no thanks" he answered, trying to locate Mulders head. The 2 two agents then fell onto the floor after trying to put right foot green. They both to a drink of some coffee that was on the desk, as Krycek heard the elevator open and a FBI conga line came out. "ooo Mulder conga line" squealed Scully. Giggling, she grabbed Mulders hand and pulled him onto the end. They then dissapered up the fire escape. Alone in the office, Krycek looked around for something, anything that was strange. Twister game, blow up furniture, orange coffee, leonardo dicaprio..... Orange coffee? He bent down and looked closer to the cup. Yep definitely coffee. The liquid began to change colour, blue to green to red to pink. It was mesmirisizing, hypnotising, he snapped out of it and pick up the cup, poured the stuff into a jar and took it to some of Mulders contacts who could tell him what was in it. The Lone Gunmen were paranoid. Who was this strange, tough guy asking to see them? Was he really Mulders friend? Where was Agent Scully? Was she on a date? All questions that needed to be answered. When the guy reached the door, they asked who he was. "Krycek, Alex Kyrcek" Remembering that a guy called Krycek had once been Mulders partner when Scully disappeared they let him in. A Tall strapping fellow, he thanked them and showed them the jar. 'whats this" they asked. He told them the story, the superiors, Twister, the conga, leaving out the reason he was there. Frohike observed the information then spoke, " so Scully is under the influence of a possible mind altering substance which means she's not acting herself and is open to new possibilities?" Krycek nodded. " im going see you later" said Frohike, running out at an incredible speed. Byers already had a sample of the liquid under a microscope and was nearing the final results. "I always new there was something wrong with the coffee, I just thought I was being paranoid" said the long haired Lanley, whowas typing up some article on a bombing of a building and the reasons why it may have been blown up. Krycek smiled and thought to himself, you dunb bastards. "Finished" Byers said as they crowded around the computer screen. "It's definitely coffee" he said. "Although it has been tampered with" "I could have told you that!" Alex said frustrated. "Who did it? What is it? Why do it?" he demanded. Frohikes idea to find Scully had made him anxious to get to Mulder. "Im getting' to that" Byers continued. " It was created by the government in that early sixties. It was designed as a peaceful way to unarm enemies. They would spray this stuff, they enemy got stoned and they took their guns. It was tested on hippies by spraying their marijuana plants, but instead of rendering them harmless and vulnerable, it made them into mindless freedom fighters" "hey" Langley cried in offence. "sorry bud" Byers apologised. "The government got scared and vowed not to use it again. Someone must be trying to distract the Feds." Byers loosened his tie. "So your telling me every Agent in the Federal Bureau of Investigations is stoned, is that it ?" Alex asked as he leaned against a rack of Early Abduction magaziens."Well I guess it'd explain the Orangutan" he said quietly. "Excuse me?" The other two asked. "never mind. How do we stop it?" First things first, find the coffee machines and empty them. Byers said they would start to come down if all the stuff was gone. He hoped no one had gotten violent or horny, yet not without him. He located all the coffee machiens and emptied the, making a mental note never to drink a beverage which he himself hadn't made. He was originally thought about pouring it all down the drain, but decided against. He didn't want to have to face a peace loving mutant Fluke worm in the subway. Instead he tipped it all into a barrel and put it in his van, wanting to make a clean escape after its all over. Second thing was to try and find out who did it and why. Why not just blow up the building?, he would have. He was guessing someone only wanted to make a momentary distraction, to make sure they wouldn't be a threat to them. It couldn't be CSM, because he had been effected by it as well, senile old bastard. Unless of course he was faking it, but no one in their right mind would wear clogs with those tights, even under the influence of a mind- altering drug.Who else, Marita? no she's to British, aliens?, no they're to grey. Agent Spender?, no his a dick head. But he is CSM son. Hmm. He was pondering it as he walked along the long narrow, now empty passages. He keeped walking, looking carefully and captiously around corners, readying himself for what ever lay in wait. Where has everyone gone? he wondered as he continued on in complete silence. Seeing a flash of colour ahead of him, he pulled out his gun and creeped slowly after it. A scurry of feet and singing came drifting around. Confused and somewhat freaked out he poked his round the bend. Still in conga mode and lead by Director Skinner, the conga line came toward him. Possibly unseen, Krycek did some back steps and managed to hid behind a water cooler. As they went past, Alex begain counting them. All Agents were accounted for, except Mulder. Scully was doing, what looked like dirty mambo dancing with an almost naked Frohike, and, unable to resist himself, he pulled out a camera from his jacket pocket and took a photo. For future blackmail he said in his head. Now to find his beloved Mulder. His office. Thats where he'll be. Every night of Scullys disappearance he sat in there. Waiting. Wishing she'd come back to him. And every night Alex sat in there too.Wishing, Waiting for the right time, to jump Mulder and fuck him so hard he'll cum out his ears. Unfortunately that time never came. The guy was to depressed, not even he could take advantage of him. Taking the elevator down, he found himself to be in total darkness. What happened to the lights? Hang on, Is that smoke I smell? Down the maze of corridors he ran, finding a trail of white candles. A grin broke on his face, replacing his normal cold, 'don't mess with me' look. "Mulder, Mulder, are you down here?" he called out, just in case he was expecting someone else. "in here Krycek" he heard Mulder call out in his, ever throaty voice. Krycek walked in and found Mulder lying across his desk, naked with a white rose between his teeth. Walking toward him he couldn't help grin. He had imagined this moment since his first day at the FBI but, now it was actually happening it didn't seem right. Besides he wanted the real Mulder, not the Mulder reacting to the coffee. Mulder must have sensed him about to back out because he spoke. "not backing out now are ya stud?" he slid off the table and approached Krycek in his full nakedness. Better than I expected he thought, checking out Mulders well hung package and tight ass. Mulder began circling Krycek, brushing ever so gently against him. "don't think I didn't notice you staring at me from across the desk late at night, brushing past me on purpose to get the files, chewing on my pencil when I was still holding it. I noticed them all, and that night in my apartment I wanted you as I do now" he moved toward Krycek in a predatory way forcing Alex into a corner. "this isn't you Mulder, its the coffee!" he shouted as Mulder kept coming. "What about Scully, you love her, go find her" he said shielding his eyes from Mulders, beautiful body. "Stuff Scully, I want you" and he pounced on Krycek, smothering him in man kisses. "help" cried Krycek with what breath he could find. But his cries for help went unanswered as his clothes were torn from his body. With Mulder virtually passed out beside him, Krycek made his escape. That guy is one good fuck, a bit rough though he thought as he picked up his scattered clothes. He decided to write a note and put the jar of stuff with some photos in an envelope and send it to Mulder, just to give him some indication of what went on. While they were wrapped in a human, Krycek managed to take some photos. For later blackmail he said to himself, and creeped out of the basement. 3 days later: "So what do you think happened here Mulder?" asked Scully as they walked back from the lab where all FBI agents had been examined, after the "mass amnesia" that had been reported, causing most agents to forget what happened the last couple of days. "Mass alien abduction?!" he answered. They took a lift down to the office where a large orange folder was waiting for them. Addressed to the X-files office, Mulder began it open it while Scully rummaged through the other mail. "Scully, I think we found out what happened the other day." he said as he pulled out some photos. "Go Scully" he said showing her a photo oh Frohike and her in the corridor. "What the hell......" Mulder studied anthor photo not sure of what its was. "what do you think this one is... Holy crap!!!!" Mulder dropped the photos, then picked them up threw them in the bin and proceeded to find some matches,but Scully managed to get hold of one first. "Mulder this is of you and Krycek. MULder this is of you and Krycek, fucking!!!?" she looked at him in disbelief then a grin appeared on her face. He began to chase her for the photo but stopped when he found a note. He picked it up and read it. It was in Cricks handwriting, so he assumed it was for him. Dear agents, none of what you found in the package has been exaggerated or show to anyone else. All what happened was caused by the substance in the jar, which was placed in the coffee. More details are in the envelope for your investigation. Do tell agent Scully that her and that Frohike guy make such a lovely couple. What happened between here was none of my doing, you and I know that. Your sincerely Alex Krycek P.S You are one horny bastard! Meanwhile somewhere else, CSM and his associates met in a dimly lit room. "All went well, I presume?" asked one old man, sitting in chair on the far side of the room. "yes" CSM replied flatly. "Did Alex co operate?" asked a beefy old man by a bookshelf. " We decided it was better to leave him in the dark about it, less questions" CSM smiled vaguely. "so colonisation will began on shedule then?" asked a little grey alien in a high pitche British accent. "yes" said a young voice from behind CSM. CSM smiled and brought the man forward. "Everybody, id like you to meet my son, Jeffrey, our newest member" Jeffrey looked around the room and smiled coldy.