From: X-Phan Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 18:27:11 -0700 (PDT) Subject: New story: Order of Battle by X-Phan (2 different Versions) Source: direct TITLE: "ORDER OF BATTLE" BY: X-Phan E-MAIL ADDRESS: xphan1013@yahoo.com RATING: NC-17 for graphic (I hope) descriptions of sex between our heroes CLASSIFICATION: SR, Story/Romance TIMEFRAME/SPOILER WARNING: As always, set before the last 2 seasons, during the "status quo" time before "the baby", Doggett, Mulder's abduction etc... but no serious spoilers. KEYWORDS: MSR SUMMARY: General Mulder goes to war on Scully's fear ARCHIVE INFO: Can be archived anywhere as long as my name, address and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Please email me with any comments, reviews, constructive criticism, etc... DEDICATION: To all those who have had the courage to conquer fear. INSPIRATION: Those really compelling World War II documentaries on public television. DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. NOTE TO READERS: Beginning paragraph of each Phase is third party narration of the anticipated battle plan. ___________________________________________________________ The X-Files: "Order of Battle" by X-Phan *********************** "Love and war are the same thing, and stratagems and policy are as allowable in the one as in the other" -- Miguel de Cervantes *********************** The revelation hit Mulder on a Tuesday at 2:24 AM with all the force of a Mack truck carrying a ton of bricks. He even fell off his couch. {I can have her. I. Can. Have. Her. When has Scully ever been able to deny me anything I want, and more than anything in the world, I WANT HER. I am almost completely certain she wants the same thing, but I also know she will never come to me. I know for a fact she thinks I'm attractive and I have most of the other qualities she is looking for in an ideal companion because she chose me as her best friend. We both have the same dreams for one day having a real home to share with someone we love. Of course for me that person could never be anyone other than her and I have a hard time believing my Scully would ever give up her heart willingly to another. Let it never be said that she isn't the most incredible woman in the world, but my Scully has control issues and will fight tooth and nail to prevent anyone from having a piece of her, from taking away her control, even if it's what she ultimately wants and what it will take to make her truly happy. It would require someone who knows this about her and cares about her enough to fight for her love and for her heart, in a word, me. All I need is a plan of action, a well thought out strategy, because I'm going to war, a war against loneliness and fear. It won't be easy, probably the most difficult challenge of my life, but if I'm successful the rewards for both of us could be limitless.} Mulder worked on his theory throughout the night and by the early hours of the morning had devised a plan of attack for the coming battle. Mulder's Stratagem Phase One: Opening Gambit [Most importantly, a frontal assault will fail. Her defenses will rebuff a direct attack so running to her door to proclaim his love will get him a lecture and he will undoubtedly find himself on the wrong side of said door within minutes. Also revealing his intentions too soon only gives her more time to fortify her defenses and prepare counterarguments for his reasons they should enter into a romantic relationship. Another unlikely but possibly disastrous result of the frontal assault would be forcing her to counterattack in the form of leaving because she could no longer work with him given his revelation. This leaves the indirect offensive. To reach the goal, Scully's fortifications will have to be either bypassed or worn down. The order of battle would begin with subtle actions and comments to indicate his affection for her. Unsolicited compliments, disarming smiles, gentle touches, and the occasional stolen kiss on the hand, forehead etc... will be the weapons of choice for the opening attack. If done correctly her response should be confusion but not displeasure until hopefully she begins to enjoy the attention. Her inquiries as to his unusual actions must be deflected and evaded at all cost. A direct answer will scare her away and result in her erecting more defenses. Over time the hints become more overt, more intimate until she is forced into confrontation. Having discovered the plan she will deliver the lecture on the impossibility of their involvement complete with list of reasons and apology. This will bring the battle into the second phase.] Mulder arrived at work rather cheerful for someone who got an hour and a half of sleep the previous night. A new purpose in life will do that to a man. "Hey Scully, sorry I'm late, here's a coffee and danish as an apology." "You're late for a great many things Mulder, but rarely is there ever an apology, much less appeasement offerings. Gourmet coffee even, am I dying? Are you dying? Is the world coming to an end?" "We're all dying Scully, just hopefully very slowly. Am I not allowed to show appreciation for my partner who puts up with my many eccentricities? And if you don't want your danish, I'll eat it." "No I want it, you mistook shock for displeasure. It's just that you always have a reason for everything you do and I get the distinct impression I'll being fattened up for the slaughter." "You've been around me too long Scully, some of my paranoid is beginning to rub off on you, besides, little thing like you wouldn't be much of a meal anyway." "That's it, give me yours and you take mine, I want to see you eat that whole thing and if nothing happens to you maybe I'll believe your altruistic intentions." He clucked his tongue a few times. "Where's the trust Scully? Where's the trust?" "The same place you're hiding the Mulder who was here yesterday." "I am he, he is me, and today is a new day for both of us. Limitless possibilities and all that." "Something's up, what is it? Flying saucer sighting, Elvis sighting, Elvis in a flying saucer?" "Have I ever told you how much I enjoy your rapier wit, you always keep me on my toes, Scully. Don't ever change." "Seriously what's up?" "Sometimes a good mood is just a good mood. Enjoy it." He thought he heard her mumble, "Not with you" but she let it drop. His good mood didn't go away the next day or the next as Mulder began to enjoy the present as much as fantasize about the future. His plan proceeded nicely. The danish was not an isolated incident, but turning Scully's skepticism into acceptance was a slow process. The occasional inquiries as to Mulder's motives were used as opportunities to express his appreciation for her, saying he wanted to make up for the times when he didn't show her the gratitude she deserved. Beyond that he didn't shed light on his intentions despite her efforts to determine his change in attitude. Eventually his efforts were welcomed and their relationship became closer affording him the opportunity to push the limits of their interaction with soft touches and gestures. Mulder didn't want to wait too long however to make his intentions known for fear she would categorize his actions as those of a platonic nature and begin to treat his attentions like one would an affectionate relative. Every so often a gesture had to be not just intimate but vaguely sexual in nature. Mulder knew she would be loathed to bring it up and actually face what he was doing let alone have a conversation with him about it. For this reason Mulder also knew he would be able to get away with a great deal without having to explain himself just so she could keep on denying what was staring her in the face. One such example came when they were working late at the office. She was bent over her desk examining a report. "Mulder come take a look at this. I want to make sure I got the timeline correct on the killer's revenge plot." Mulder walked up behind her and looked down over her shoulder. They had gotten to the point where his invading her personal space was so commonplace as to not be noticed. Mulder saw the glowing neon sign flashing 'Opportunity' where Scully's hair had fallen away from the collar of her blouse exposing the soft skin at the nape of her neck. Leaning over her and pretending to be interested in the file he slowly brought his face down until his closed lips just brushed her neck and he could breath in the fragrance of her shampoo. It couldn't have been called a kiss by any modern definition but she felt his touch and a second later stiffened in response and stopped breathing. He slowly backed away not saying a word and could almost hear the gears turning in her head. She was trying to choose between either calling him on it and getting some answers or what her instincts were telling her to do which was run and pretend it never happened. Instinct is a powerful thing. She abruptly said, "I'm sure it's fine. It's getting late and I'm going to call it a day." She then bolted out the door, barely stopping to grab her coat. A week later Scully had put the incident out of her mind and Mulder got another chance. It was a Thursday night and they had just wrapped up some paperwork for their last case at his apartment. "Hey Scully it's still early, wanna stay and watch a movie on the sci-fi channel? I promise you can point out all the technical inaccuracies and I'll listen patiently while you analyze the fun out of it." "You really think I enjoy that don't you, proving science fiction wrong and crushing flights of fantasy with cold hard science." She returned lightly. "Yep, I do, because it's the truth. So what d'ya say?" He could see her vacillating and he delivered the death-blow. "We haven't had dessert yet. I had a craving for some of that double chocolate ice cream with the fudge swirls and I still have it in the freezer, want some? It's fat free. I promise." He snickered. "And the moon is made of green cheese." "Well if you don't want any I suppose I can eat it all by myself." She sighed in defeat. "Yeah I want some, but just a small bowl." "That's my girl, enjoy yourself once in a while." "I'm not sure I should take advice from Mr. Bacon Double Cheeseburger himself. If I ate like you I wouldn't be able to fit through the door to our office." "It's all in the metabolism." He emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later with two heaping bowls of ice cream. She protested she would never finish it all, but both knew it was an empty threat. Half way into the movie with their dessert finished Mulder took his shot. He faked a yawn, slid over to her on the couch, put a throw pillow on her lap and lay his head down before she knew what was happening. Again he could sense her internal struggle with her preconceptions about what was appropriate, but since there wasn't anything overtly sexual about his move she let it slid and after a few minutes went back to watching the movie. A little later Mulder snuck a hand up and rested it on her leg just above the knee and slowly began to stroke his thumb back and forth across her thigh. "Uhhh Mulder?" He waited a few seconds pretending to be half conscious. "Mmmm?" "Ummm... why does the hyper-drive always fail just when they need it most? I mean come on, they expect us to believe that. Not to mention such a complex piece of technology gets fixed by kicking the nearest panel and telling it to 'work damn you or we'll all be vaporized'." "It's a movie Scully, if science fiction were completely believable it would be science fact. It's not the minor details that are critical but the way they tell the story. They use what's called 'suspended disbelief' to make viewers overlook the fact that hyper-drives and phasers don't exist and probably never will, so the writes can still create a compelling and suspenseful narrative." "I understand that, but I still can't get over how silly it seems for these aliens that have built starships and mastered space travel and still be drooling snarling monsters with no opposable thumbs to even be able to hold tools." "A real fan would ignore that minor discrepancy and concentrate more on the terrific explosion of goo that splatters all over the lead actress when she blows one up." "Of course, what WAS I thinking? Good thing I caught myself, I was just about to comment on the distinct lack of bras in the twenty-fifth century. I can see that should be overlooked as well." "Now you're catching on, looking them over is exactly what I was doing." She snorted at his pun but didn't take the bait as it led toward dangerous territory. When the movie ended, they remained where they were watching the credits roll. Mulder was in no hurry to move since he was rather enjoying being petted. Scully looked down in horror to see her hand had been playing with his hair. She pulled it back vainly praying he didn't notice. "Mulder I better get going, work tomorrow." "Think anybody would say anything if we rolled in around noon tomorrow?" Mulder again baited her. "I'm sure the rumors would fly." "What kind of rumors?" Mulder asked in his 'innocent little boy' voice. "That we're about to be chewed out by Skinner." She hedged. "Now get up or you're going to end up on the floor." "I don't mind the floor if you're into that sort of thing." She groaned and pushed him off. "You're over stimulated. No more ice cream for you before bedtime." She picked up her coat and headed for the door. "What you're not gonna tuck me in?" "Goodnight Mulder" "G'night Scully" Mulder knew their dancing around the issue would come to head soon. Even Scully could not ignore the obvious desire behind his teasing and innuendo forever, so he figured one last push would drive her over the edge. The next day, as they were about to leave the office for the weekend, Mulder committed himself. After putting on his trench coat he came over to where she was packing up her briefcase and stood right in front of her. When she looked up he leaned down, kissed her forehead, whispered, "see you Monday," and brushed his thumb down her cheek catching her bottom lip. He stared into her eyes for a long second noticing with some amusement she looked like a deer caught in headlights. He broke the spell and smiled widely at her before walking out the door. He knew she could never ignore that and when he arrived home, the blinking light on his answering machine told him everything was proceeding according to plan. He predicted she would call when she knew he wasn't home yet. She wouldn't be ready to talk to him, because she was still planning the confrontation. He hit the button and listened. "It's me Mulder, I think we uhhh... need to talk about some things. Why don't you come over later tonight so we can... talk." Her voice on the machine was quiet and she sounded a bit like she was trying not to divulge a secret even though both the topic of conversation she had in mind and her position on the matter were fairly obvious from the tone of her voice. Already planning ahead, she of course wanted the strength that comes from being in a comfortable environment, 'home field advantage' as it were, when she delivered her prepared lecture. Mulder smiled and went right back out the door headed for her place, to give her as little time as possible to get her argument ready. Not long after, he arrived at her apartment and knocked on the door. A few seconds later she opened it smiling politely and looking like the bearer of bad news. She sat down on the couch and waved him over. Mulder saw the build-up of concentration as she took a deep breath and began. "Mulder I think you may be getting the wrong idea about our relationship. We're best friends and that friendship means the world to me." She continued like that for five minutes. The specifics weren't important, but her speech had an introduction, body, and conclusion. It was very logical and well thought out, complete with sub-points and examples. She carefully outlined her position and cited reasons romantic involvement was out of the question. She actually recited Bureau policy regarding fraternization between partners verbatim from the manual. This only encouraged Mulder because they weren't her words; she was just falling back on rules to guide her when she perceived a threat to herself and her control. Throughout it all Mulder tried to listen attentively and kept thinking she must be feeling like a pet owner who has to put a beloved dog to sleep believing it's for best but still... Finally, she ended with, "I do care about you Mulder and I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I hope you can understand." Phase Two: Master of Tactics [Upon completion of her speech a crucial moment comes, the response. The genius of Mulder's plan is that it doesn't matter what she says or what her reasons are because she will undoubtedly end with the platitude, "I hope you understand." In her mind her logic is unshakable so attempts to challenge her on each issue will fail. Therefore the reply must be simple and direct and if successful, throw her resistance into total confusion. This response and her consequent reaction will constitute the second phase and lead into the third.] She looked so cute and apologetic it was hard not to chuckle, but Mulder knew how important it was to the cause that he pull this off perfectly. He leaned over so he was even with her face, smiled, said, "No," kissed her on the nose, got up, and left the apartment before she could react. Speechless didn't begin to describe Dana Scully. Mulder went on as usual completely ignoring the event as if it had never occurred. Her behavior upon seeing him the next Monday was wary. She was clearly hoping against hope that he had accepted her position and would let the matter drop because another confrontation was to be avoided given how she mistakenly believed she was in control of the last one. Scully soon realized Mulder had not accepted her rejection, so she was baffled as to how to deal with him. Therefore she retreated into her accustomed fallback position of denial. Outwardly she ignored any of his attentions not of a professional nature, again hoping he would get the message and give up, however inwardly they were not so easily brushed off. Even Scully couldn't deny that part of her was not averse to the idea of a deeper relationship, but she fought it, convincing herself such a loss of control would destroy her. This Mulder saw as the crack in her armor that he needed to exploit to reach the woman inside the fortifications, Dana, who Agent Scully was determined to protect with her life. Mulder suspected the Dana aspect of her personality craved his attention, caring, compassion, and even love; that she needed it as much as Scully needed to keep him at a distance. That's why in all the years they had been together she had never abandoned him. She was as incapable of one as she was the other and for that reason could never do either and never be content. At this point Mulder knew he had to continue the plan and put more pressure on her to provoke another confrontation. Phase Three: Test of Resolve [Upon accepting his unwillingness to concede defeat she will ignore his attentions for as long as she is able until at some point her frustration both sexual and emotional will force her to attempt a settlement. She will feign acceptance of his proposition in order to relieve the growing sexual tension and in an effort to level the field of battle. She will try to reach a compromise by which she will offer him her body to divert him away from his true goal and her greatest fear. This is the most dangerous weapon she has at her disposal and she will be very persuasive with its use, nevertheless she must be gently refused for the sake of ultimate victory. This must be handled with extreme caution as to not destroy her fragile self-esteem, but at the same time let her know that a physical relationship isn't the objective. Finally a promise should be made expressing how important the end result is and how it will ultimately be worth the struggle for both of them upon the conclusion of the war. So will end the third phase of battle.] Emotions boiled over for Scully during a routine case while they were on the road. Staying in adjoining motel rooms gave Mulder extra opportunity to be around her, always making his presence felt. Each time he touched her she was reminded of what he wanted and she was torn between wanting to give in and kiss him and wanting to scream in anger and frustration. Each time she could reconcile neither, so did nothing other than to bury her feelings. However, on this day Scully could take no more of his being there, silently taunting, and waiting for her reaction. When he followed her into her room discussing the case and doing it while managing to stand way too close for comfort, Scully realized how she could cut her losses and avoid defeat in the face of overwhelming odds thereby preventing a complete loss of control. She could go to him on her terms and put to rest the fear grating on her nerves. She believed it to be an equitable and rational solution to the problem at hand. Scully became more and more pleased with her decision as she thought about it. It would take away his power over her if he could no longer use their attraction against her as tool forever chipping away at her judgment and sanity. Mulder soon noticed she had stopped listening and was just looking at him. "You're right Mulder." "Okay... about what? I didn't think you were listening." "About us, about how this has been coming for a long time and we can't fight our desires forever." He considered her skeptically; her change of heart was too quick and easy to be genuine. "What is it exactly we desire?" "Satisfaction. It's obvious we're attracted to each other. You've made that abundantly clear. It's only natural that our relationship progress to the next level and since we've been intimate in every way except physical... why shouldn't we? It was silly of me to fight you all this time when it's what we both want." "So you're saying you want to sleep together. Is that all?" "I'm not sure I know what you mean. If you're thinking about marriage proposals and fairytale weddings come on Mulder be reasonable. We have our jobs to think about. Besides isn't that what all this has been about, this whole grand seduction routine? I have to hand it to you, refusing to accept my turning you down was inspired, you certainly threw me with that one and hey, you got what you wanted, I'm all yours. Your plan succeeded." She chuckled to herself. "I was never a match for that brilliant mind of yours anyway, but where were we?" She stepped forward and pulled him down into a fierce kiss. She tasted so good and was everything he'd dreamed, it was the hardest thing Mulder ever did when he pulled away. "What?" She breathed. She looked hungry and dangerous, like a predator eyeing their next meal. "If you think this was all about sex then you haven't figured it out." "Figured what out?" "That this had almost nothing to do with trying to get you into bed. I'm sorry Scully, as much as I want you, and I really do, you're not ready yet." "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Her anger flashed in her eyes. "It means we don't want the same thing. If I can't have all of you, I won't settle for a casual roll in the hay once in a while to relieve a few urges. Not with you, with us, I can't live like that. I'm sorry, but I can't." "You damn arrogant piece of... of..." Scully couldn't think of anything cruel enough to say she was so mad. "You tease and taunt me for months until finally I make an ass of myself trying to jump you, all so you can blow me off. How dare you manipulate me like one of the criminals you profile. Is this what I deserve after all these years of loyalty? Is that what you consider respect?" "I did this for us Scully, for you and me, and you know I respect you above everyone else." "If this is how you show it you can keep it. What was this really about? Are you just afraid of being alone or was this an attempt to recreate the perfect family you never had? You see me as a convenient choice for your fantasy wife so we can play house like you enjoyed so much in Arcadia and have a bunch of little kids." Mulder winced at that, knowing what was coming. "Well I have news for you, it's not gonna happen, not with me anyway, so you can leave me the hell out of your fantasy." "Scully it's not like that, please..." "Get out. Just get out." He saw in her eyes she was about to break down and cry but wouldn't want him there to see her weakness. As much as he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her, the least he could do was give her some measure of dignity and leave her alone so she could let it out. Mulder sighed and walked out of her room, shutting the door behind him. He kept walking, knowing if he heard her cry he would run back in and that was the last thing she wanted. When she was sure he was gone Scully collapsed on the bed and hugged a pillow while she sobbed. Her anger dissolved into despair for the loss of a best friend and even more for giving up on her last chance at happiness and a relatively normal life with someone she cared for. She was disgusted with her weakness and wished more than anything she was able to give him what he wanted for both their sakes. She briefly considered trying to fake it for him since anything was preferable to what she was feeling, but realized she could no more easily live like that than he could just being casual sex partners. She cried until there was nothing left in her and fell into an exhausted fitful sleep. Phase Four: The Final Drive [Mulder knew her reaction to his refusal would not be positive and certainly involve anger. Frustration at her inability to control the situation and her own responses will be greatly disturbing to her and may cause her to lash out and fire off any remaining weapons she has left in a final attempt to halt Mulder's advance. All hurtful attacks must be brushed off for what they are, desperate survival instincts. She will certainly try to insist she is unable to reciprocate his feelings and perhaps even beg to be left alone. The response must be supportive and caring, lulling her into a sense of security before the final drive. Now is the time for the full frontal assault to smash through her final line of defense. Her weakened resistance will be utterly destroyed. If it is a total victory, amid much crying she should concede defeat and offer her heart as a prize. However the true danger will come when she realizes she has lost. A scorpion will sting itself if captured, instinctively choosing death over imprisonment. Will she embrace her fate or throw herself on her sword?] Mulder had walked aimlessly through the streets of the sleeping town; occasionally looking up at the sky he had once imagined held all the answers. The stars were little comfort from his thoughts. For the first time he wondered if he had made a terrible mistake pushing her as he did. The idea that he was the cause of her suffering and pain tore at his chest. He wondered if she was right about some of the things she said, that selfishness had entered into his desire to change their relationship. What right did he have to try to decide for her? Still he refused to accept that she was incapable of sharing herself with another person, of loving someone completely, the way he loved her. She had fostered that notion to protect herself and had needed that protection for a while, but not anymore and not with him. He knew no matter what happened between them he had to make it right because he couldn't continue without her in his life. After much internal debate, Mulder finally resolved to see his plan through to its conclusion. He persisted in his belief that they could find happiness together if Scully could just be shown how special their bond was and how perfect they were for each other. Even if she decided he wasn't the person she wanted to spend her life with, she could never find that person if she continued to isolate herself from the world. Eventually Mulder found himself back in his room staring at the connecting door. He listened to hear anything from her room, but it was silent. He knocked quietly on the door, but there was no response. His chest tightened at the thought she might already be gone forever. Mulder turned the knob and crept into the room. It was dark except for a lamp on the nightstand illuminating a still form on the bed. He walked over to her and looked down on his sleeping partner, afraid it would be the last time he saw her like this. Even with a tear streaked face she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He retrieved some tissues from the bathroom and sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. He brushed a strand of auburn hair away from her face and moved his hand up to her shoulder. "Dana," he used her given name so rarely it sounded like he was talking to someone else. "Dana, we need to talk." She stirred slowly, blinking a few times before remembering what preceded her exhaustion induced sleep and why she was hugging the pillow like a life preserver. She froze immediately upon seeing him there and Mulder took his hand back. "Dana, please, I'm sorry I hurt you, I really am, but we need to talk about this. You can scream and yell at me, I deserve it, just don't shut me out." She closed he eyes again and was silent for a while, then spoke, "Why Mulder, why did you do it? What was wrong with what we had?" "Because Scully, we shouldn't have to live the rest of our lives alone. We shouldn't have to come home from work everyday to empty apartments. I can't live for my job anymore and neither can you. It's just a job; it doesn't really make either of us happy or fill the emptiness inside. There's so much more to life. I don't want my gravestone to say: Fox Mulder - good FBI agent. I want it to say Fox Mulder - beloved husband and family man, and you, Dana, are the only person with whom I could imagine spending my life. What we had, what we have, is the foundation for the best kind of relationship, one built on trust, mutual respect and admiration, unwavering loyalty, and the deepest of friendships. We've fought and killed for each other, risked out lives countless times for each other and not out of a sense of duty, but because we need each other's strength, support, and companionship to live. I can only speak for myself, but if you were killed tomorrow I couldn't go on without you. Give me a day or two because I'd like to take some evil assholes out with me, but we'd be together again very soon I guarantee you. What we had Scully, just wasn't enough anymore when I stopped to think about what we could have." A few more tears escaped and Scully wiped them away with her hand and sniffed. Mulder handed her the tissues and she accepted them slowly. She blew her nose and took a breath. "I truly wish I could give you what you want Mulder, because maybe you're right, maybe we're each other's only chance at happiness, but I hope not for your sake. I could probably go through the motions for a while, but it wouldn't be honest or fair to either of us. I'm sorry but it just isn't in me." "I don't believe that for a minute, but if you're not ready, I'll wait for you as long as it takes if there's a chance that someday you will be. Make no mistake, Scully, I'll never give up on you no matter what." "Then you're going to be alone for a long time." "I know you're afraid, afraid of being vulnerable, of being dependant, of letting someone else have so much influence over your emotions, but that's what being in a relationship is all about. It can be a dangerous thing, that's why we have to choose those people so carefully. Look at us, we trust each other with our lives and we would follow each other into hell so neither of us would have to face it alone, isn't that a good basis for trusting each other with our hearts?" The irony that her of all people, who has faced down horrible monsters both human and non-human, would be brought to her knees by fear of the unknown wasn't lost on Scully. She chocked out a bitter laugh at the thought. "If only it was as easy as you think to change everything that happened in my life that made me the way I am, but it's not, I can't change and if I can accept that you're going to have to as well." "I never said it was easy, I'm only saying it's worth the effort to try. What we have is so unique and precious it's worth moving mountains for. I can't deny it Scully, no matter what happened in past lives or not, we are soul mates. I think you believe it too. Greek philosophers separated love into two categories, 'agape' the love of a friend and 'eros' romantic love. We have both. We're perfect companions for the journey of life, any life, but I'm only concerned with this one at the moment. How would you like to face an uncertain future, Scully, alone or holding my hand?" "Mulder please... I can't... I just can't." she was on the verge of tears again. Her walls were crumbling. "Dana Katherine Scully, you are the last woman I will ever love." Long past the limit of emotional control, she broke down and cried. Mulder pulled her into his arms and she didn't resist. Between sobs she got out, "How could you love me?" He replied without having to think "How could I not? You're Scully. I've loved you forever and I always will." With that something shattered inside her, her desperate desire for control of her emotions was washed away by something even more vital, something she had almost let her fear destroy; her need to be complete. Never before had this been within her grasp, this chance to fill the empty space inside herself with love and to do the same for another. Scully had her own revelation, that this was the greatest opportunity of her life and though it couldn't be forced on her, all she had to do was accept it. She whispered softly, "Please love me." And he did. And they were whole. [Cheers resound from the battlefield, weapons abandoned and victory celebrated. The long war is over.] The End Epilogue: The Spoils of War Two days later On the road in a rental car "Are you realllllly sure about this Scully? I mean really." "We drove all this way, don't tell me you're having second thoughts now. I know it's not Graceland but there are plenty of Elvises, Elvi, whatever, in Atlantic City for you to pretend." "It's not that Scully, I've been dreaming about this forever. I'm just hoping you don't feel that you need some grand gesture to prove your love to me, because I don't, I believe you." "I know and I don't, nor does this have anything to do with the fact that we haven't slept together yet." "Well technically..." "Okay, okay, we've slept together, we've just never had sex, made love, consummated the relationship, etc... We've been together so long I don't think the rules of waiting apply to us anyway, it's just... this seems appropriate. I think I want something I can look at and say this is when I became truly happy. For once I have no doubts in my mind, I know with absolute certainty that I will spend the rest of my life with you and this is the best decision I could ever make. Besides aren't you looking forward to becoming Mr. Dana Katherine Scully?" "More than anything in the world. How about that one?" Mulder points to a neon lit building on the right side of the street. "Shotgun Pete's Wedding Chapel and Casino? I think I hold out for something a little better." "You're the boss." "Think there'll be some time to hit the slots later?" Scully joked. "I think they make you put your clothes on to go gamble." "Oh, well in that case I guess it won't be possible. We'll just have to find some way to amuse ourselves without leaving the hotel room." Scully practically giggled at the thought. "There's always elephant jokes, never can hear too many elephant jokes." "We can save that for plan 'B'. Wait, stop, there it is, that's the one I want." She pointed to a small building without any neon lights. "Eternal Bliss Chapel, today is the first day of you're new life together." He read. "I like it, we have a winner and look a jewelry store on the same block. It's fate, Scully." "Definitely" "Jewelry store first, we have to be engaged for a few minutes before getting married. Let's get you a wildly expensive engagement ring." "How could any woman turn down that proposal?" The salesman took one look at the way Mulder was pulling Scully from case to case and saw dollar signs. "How about this one Scully?" Mulder pointed to a marble sized diamond. "Mulder be reasonable, how would I hold my gun level? Let's look for something a little bit more delicate." "Whatever you want, sweetheart." When they finally left the store, Scully had managed to talk Mulder down to a two-carat diamond, which she was wearing, and he had matching gold wedding bands in his pocket. The salesman had barely made enough money on the sale to put his kid through one year of college. Twenty minutes later Mulder and Scully were staring into each other's eyes and grinning like idiots. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for richer and for poorer in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" "I do." "And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold for richer and for poorer in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" "I do." "Then, by the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Mulder did as he was told and they kissed long and hard. Before they came up for air Mulder lifted her off the ground so they were even. By the time he put her down she was lightheaded from lack of oxygen and had to steady herself on him. They walked hand in hand back to the car. "We better find a hotel Mulder, I'd like to avoid consummating the marriage in the back seat of the car." "So the car is a maybe for next time?" "We'll see." They drove a few blocks before finding a decent looking establishment at least compared to what they were used to. The guy manning the front desk took one look at them as they walked up hand in hand and said, "Honeymoon suite?" "Definitely." replied Scully. "If you would just sign here, I'll give you your key card. It's room 320, the elevators are to your right. If you have any luggage you'd like us to deliver to your room, we'll have it brought right up." He nodded to the bags they each had slung over their shoulder. "No thanks we're all set." Mulder signed the register. "Hey Scully, look at this." It read 'Mr. And Mrs. Fox Mulder'. "Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" "Oh yeah, you'll make a great Mrs. Fox Mulder. I just know it." "Yes dear, whatever you say dear." They made out against the wall of the elevator all the way up to their floor. Upon entering the room, Scully gasped. "A heart-shaped bed," between laughs she said, "it's perfect, just like in my fantasies about sleeping with you in sleazy motel rooms." "I'm glad you like it, but before we try it out, it's been a long trip, I think I'd like to take a shower first." "Sounds good to me, I'll join you." "Even better, race you." They stripped off their clothes on the way to the bathroom where Scully was delighted once again by seeing the heart motif had also been used on the hot tub. "We're trying that out later." She said. "You're going to look so good bent over the side." Scully nodded in agreement. Once the water was on and they were down to underwear, Mulder pulled her hands away from her bra so he could have the pleasure of undressing his new wife. She let him unhook it and slid it down her arms. Mulder then dropped to his knees to slip her panties off. He stood up mesmerized and speechless for a whole minute gaping at her creamy skin and perfectly proportioned body. "Well, have anything to say?" "Just that you're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life." "Yeah that'll do. Now my turn." She bent down and grabbed Mulder's boxers and pulled them off. Scully couldn't help giving his cock a playful squeeze on her way back up. She thought it was so cute the way he jumped. She stepped under the spray of the shower and Mulder followed right behind. While they did use some soap, any washing was purely a side effect of the groping. Mulder explored her mouth thoroughly and moved down to her neck then breasts, wanting to taste every inch. They never stopped running their hands over each other's bodies, both caressing and squeezing where appropriate. As they began to get hotter the water got colder finally forcing them out of the shower. After the worst attempt at drying off in history, Mulder carried her to the bed and put her down on the soft sheets. "Where was I? Oh yes, I remember, I was just about to see how good you taste." "Hurry, Mulder." He climbed up on the large bed with her and spread her legs. Stopping to look her in the eye with barely controlled lust, Mulder bent down and made a long slow pass with his tongue across her hot wet sex. She moaned and continued to moan as he put his mouth against her and sucked. Mulder drove her crazy sliding his tongue inside her and then stopping to move somewhere else. He gently bit her lips and tugged enough so she felt it. Soon fingers replaced his mouth as he worked them deep inside her and he concentrated on her protruding clit, alternately sucking it into his mouth and grinding against it with his tongue. By now she was groaning and squeezing his head with her legs while pushing up off the bed for more contact. Mulder licked her furiously until she came screaming and gushing into his mouth and on his hand. He didn't let up until she pushed his head away begging for mercy. "By the mess you made I'll assume you enjoyed yourself, because anything worth doing is worth doing well." "Mmmmm you did me well alright." "But now I'm all wet and sticky, you'll have to clean me up." He climbed up her body while licking his lips. He ran his wet fingers along her slightly parted lips and surprised her by pressing them into her mouth. She did lick his fingers though and tease them with her teeth making Mulder grin. "See, you taste good." She didn't have time to respond before he replaced them with his tongue and continued his exploration of her mouth. Wanting him to feel like she just had, Scully took the initiative and reach down for the erection that was grinding into her thigh. She raised her hips and positioned his cock to slid home where it belonged. Not wanting to hurt her, Mulder went agonizingly slow as he was pushing inside. Finally he was completely buried and resting against her pelvis. She wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed his cock with her internal muscles. "It's so good, Scully, been so long... I can't hold out." "Don't try," she whispered in his ear. "I've already had mine, just come for me, come inside me. Let go, you've earned it." "Oh, Scully, love you so much." "I love you too." With a groan he pulled out and slid back in. He picked up speed with each thrust, noticing it wasn't easy since she was squeezing him each time. "Oh, Scully." "Look at me when you come. I want to see your face." His thrusts became erratic as he reached the point of no return. Mulder held his head up and looked into her eyes as he fell over the edge, flooding her vagina with his sperm. Spent, he collapsed on top of her. "Mulder that was incredible." "Yeah, but not for you." "Oh yes it was. I loved seeing what I can do to you and I've never felt so loved than when I watched you come for me. Promise me I get to see that every night until we're too old to move." "I promise, Scully, anything you want that I can possibly give to you is yours." "Good because all I want is you lying on top of me." "I'm trying to get off, but someone seems to be holding me in place." "And she's not letting go anytime soon." Mulder compromised and rolled them over on their sides so they could still hold each other. "You know Mulder, it's ironic how free I feel now that I've promised myself to someone else. I don't feel trapped or tied down. I feel wonderful knowing you'll always be there to protect me and take care of me whenever I need you." "I thought I did that before we got together like this." "You tried but I didn't let you if I could avoid it, but now I'll never have to do that again. I no longer have to put so much effort into putting up walls and maintaining distance. I can let go and follow my heart maybe for the first time in my life." "I'm so glad you chose to do it with me. Follow your heart that is, not have wild sweaty sex, though I'm grateful for that too." "Me too on both counts." They cooled down and enjoyed the moment for a while. "There's something I should do before I forget. Hand me the phone Mulder." "Canceling a hot date for tonight." "No way, I bet he'll find the wedding ring a turn on." "I certainly do." Mulder gave her the phone from the nightstand and she dialed. "Hey Mom it's me... I have some news... I'm in Atlantic City, I just got married... what, of course to him, who else... no I'm not drunk, I'm just happy, something I'm going to be a lot more from now on... I'm sorry you weren't there too, it was a spur of the moment thing... hold on. Mom wants to talk to you, Mulder." "Hello Mrs. Scully... thanks I appreciate that. I love your daughter with all my heart and I promise you I'll take care of her... okay uh Mom, we'll visit you soon. Here Scully, she wants to talk to you again." "Hey Mom... yeah we will... I know... I know... I'll have to let you go now, it is our honeymoon and I can't ask Mulder to be a gentleman all night. We'll see you soon... love you too... bye." "I think she's happy for us." "Oh yeah, she'll be on the phone for the next five hours telling relatives I haven't seen in twenty years that little Dana got married." "That's sweet." "Not if you're 'little Dana'." "I like that, 'My Little Dana', it can be one of my many pet names for you, huggy-bear." "Only if I can call you 'Foxy-Woxy' in front of the guys, I bet they'd get a kick out of that." "Point taken, Ms. Scully." "Better and speaking of the guys, now that my mother knows, we'll have to tell them. I hope it doesn't break poor Frohike's heart." "They may already know. See, he tends to keep tabs on you from time to time, purely for your safety of course." "You mean with bugs?" "Bugs, satellites, whatever, but don't worry his interest is almost entirely paternal." "And the part that isn't?" "You really don't want to know. Let's just say I'll be sleeping with one eye open for the rest of my life, because nobody's good enough for Dana Scully, not that I disagree with him on that point." "Wonderful, well that just leaves Skinner." Mulder chuckled. "That's already taken care of." "What do you mean?" "I've been charging everything to the bureau credit card, the rings, the chapel, everything." "What!" "Don't worry Scully, I'm going to pay it all back. It'll be worth the ass chewing to see the look on Skinner's face when he sees how much I spent on your engagement ring. Not to mention that this way the news will spread like wild fire through accounting, the secretaries, and the bullpen. We won't have to say a thing. I want the whole world to know how much you mean to me. And think about all the jealous looks you and your finger will get when you walk down the hallway." "Hmmm, I like the way you think. All the woman in the building will be green with envy, though not because of anything on my finger. You probably never noticed, but you are the object of many office crushes and lust filled stares. They'll want my head on a stick because I'll have you all to myself." "It's me everyone will be jealous of. Not just the men, some of the women too. I can just see them asking what it was like to melt the Ice Queen. I can't wait to tell them you're more fun to lick than a Popsicle and my new favorite frozen treat." Scully laughed at that. "This will do wonders for my reputation, but don't worry I'll keep the details to a minimum and try to defend your honor as best I can considering everyone will know you're putting out." "Just don't let it slip that I'm a screamer." "Even if they buy me a beer." "Well that's different, if free booze is on the line feel free to make up some wild and kinky stuff that we'll have to do later so you're not a liar." "Have anything specific in mind?" "You know, fun stuff, the kind that's illegal in forty-eight states." "Mmmmm, the best kind. I can't wait." ___________________________________________________________ Wow I didn't think I had that in me. I think it came out pretty good. As always, if you liked it or didn't and have comments and especially if you have ideas for my next story, send them to xphan1013@yahoo.com