From: Gabrielle Elfman Date: 27 Nov 98 18:44:58 EST Subject: Otium *** Title - Otium Author - Gabrielle Elfman E-mail - gelfman@usa.net Distribution - Anywhere, as long as my name and addy's on it. Rating - G Classification - V Spoilers - None Keywords - None Summary - Mulder's search for the truth and the light. *** Author's Notes - When I was through writing this, I was debating whether or not this was angst, and I finally decided that it just depended upon the person. *** Otium (1/1) by Gabrielle Elfman *** Light.. *the* light.. It pulls at me, tugging me, wanting me to come with it. The light, brightly shinning, stares me in the face, daring me almost. It wants me to come. And I want to go. In the light is the truth, the truth which I have pined for and worried over and sought so deeply, inside of my heart, and out. I want the truth. I need the truth. Every day, I set out on my quest. That light, that truth, is my whole being. My existance. So why is it so hard for me to accept it, to embrace it? To feel it seeping through me, fortifying me. Making me whole. No, not whole. Only part whole. There is more than one light. There is the truth and the light, and then there is she. My other light. My light which guides me through the darkness, towards the other light, the brighter light. We both want the bright light. And I want both lights. But the darkness always holds us back. The dark is so cold and thick. It surrounds us, always, threatening every aspect of ourselves, of each other. Yes, that is why I can't accept the light. The dark won't let me. When it feels like we are getting close to the light, the dark grabs us feircely and tosses us deeper into its pit. Then is when I cry out. For the light. For the truth. For my light. My light gets brighter to me each time, coming close to the bright light, the truth. Maybe she is the truth. Maybe she is what I've been searching for; what I need. My light, my truth. The truth and the light. *** Well? What do you think? gelfman@usa.net *** The truth is out there.