From: LiveHead16 Date: 17 Jan 2000 04:28:29 GMT Subject: NEW: Out Of Breath: Articulate (1/3) Title: Out of Breath: Articulate Author: Larissa Lee Classification: S, MSR Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: Up to and including The Unnatural. Distribution: Spooky OK; otherwise, just let me know so I can visit. Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. They belong to the good folks at 1013 Productions, and Fox, and to Chris Carter. I'm not reaping any profit from this, and if I did, I'd be more than happy to hand it over. Feedback: Yes, please!!! LiveHead16@aol.com She sidled up behind the backstop, watching as her partner connected with a series of balls flung at him by a pitching machine. She moved quietly, not wanting him to know right away that she was there. She was enjoying this unexpected view. Dana Scully didn't often get to see Fox Mulder at anything that resembled play. He was engrossed in his hitting, giving his all to every swing. Of course, Mulder gave his all to virtually everything, but he was clearly enjoying this exertion. As he swung, she was treated to a glimpse of his smooth stomach as his shirt rode up. She savored this for just a second before moving forward to chastise him for leaving such a cryptic message on her answering machine. Scully attempted to chastise him, but as usual, Mulder somehow turned it around. Before she quite knew what was happening, he was offering to teach her how to hit a baseball. She thought for a split second of telling him about all the time she had spent in pick-up games on various Navy bases, games for which she was never chosen last. But then he turned to look at her over his shoulder, beckoning her to his side. Somehow, the truth about her hitting abilities just didn't seem important at the moment. As soon as she reached him, he wrapped his arms around her from behind. This was a bold gesture, even for Mulder. She hesitated, wondering briefly if he'd been drinking. But with firm movements, he maneuvered her into a hitting stance, and they rocked back and forth together until they were settled into a comfortable oneness. Mulder began his hitting lesson with his usual irreverence and just a touch of silliness. A sound escaped her lips that she almost didn't recognize. A giggle? When was the last time she had giggled? They were behaving like a couple of stoned teenagers on a secret Air Force base. And it felt incredibly good. They swung at pitch after pitch, awkwardly at first, then with more grace and certainty. It wasn't long before they were connecting smoothly and sending white baseballs soaring into the night air. Scully lost track of what Mulder was murmuring in her ear or how long they'd been taking batting practice. All she knew at that moment was the warmth of Mulder's arms and the repetitive motion of their bodies as they leaned into swing after swing, hips before hands. The rhythm was lulling, so that Scully could almost close her eyes and still hit the ball. She was on the verge of succumbing completely to that rhythm when it ceased without warning. Jarred from their reverie, she and Mulder separated abruptly. Mulder pulled back, leaving the bat dangling in Scully's hands. "What's happening out there, poor boy?" he called to the kid feeding balls into the machine. "Got no more balls, mister," the kid shouted back. "Now where have I heard that before?" Mulder muttered to Scully. She fought back a smile. "OK, then, go pick up the ones we hit and let's call it a night. It's way past your bedtime, anyway." The boy scampered off, heading first for left field and working his way across. He filled a large white sack with the baseballs as he went, like a paperboy in reverse. Scully glanced at her watch. She was surprised to see just how late it was. She handed the bat back to Mulder and prepared to head for her car. She was due to have dinner at her mom's house tomorrow afternoon, and she needed some sleep before then. "Well, Mulder, thanks for a lovely birthday present, but I need to get going." He smirked at her. "Hang on just a second, Scully, let me pay off this little scamp, and I'll walk you to your car." "Oooh, Mulder, has all this baseball stuff brought out the chivalrous knight in you?" She couldn't resist tweaking him just a little. He just rolled his eyes at her and walked out toward the pitcher's mound, where the boy was putting the last of the baseballs away. Scully walked slowly in the direction of her car, and Mulder caught up rapidly. "That wasn't too bad for a rookie, Scully," he said, "Maybe next time we'll work on laying down the bunt." She managed to control her grin...she wanted to keep her secret for at least a little while longer. Their cars were parked in a dirt lot that was lit only by the overflow of the field lighting. Scully was about to take her leave from him when he inexplicably hopped up to take a seat on the hood of his car. "Mulder, what are you doing?" she asked, her curiosity aroused. "I'm enjoying this amazing night air, Scully. You were the one who accused me of not living life to its fullest." She cast her eyes downward a bit at that. She'd been a little rough on him earlier. "So now I'm putting the finishing touches on a good day. Lots of sunshine, plenty of baseball, and now the stars are out in full force. What more could a guy ask for?" She was standing directly in front of him now, smiling at his ramblings. "I even had a beautiful redhead in my arms for a while there." He smirked as he said it, but his words still had a sort of longing echoing within them. Scully's smile faded a little, as she searched for how to answer that one. Fortunately, Mulder quickly shattered the tension as he reached out and grabbed her elbow. "Scully, look!" He spun her around in time for her to see a shooting star streaking across the sky. That brought the smile back to her face. They dangled there in silence for a moment, staring out at the stars. Scully's back was to Mulder; his hands rested on her hips where they had landed after he turned her around. Mulder leaned forward a bit, pointing with his right hand out over Scully's right shoulder. "Do you see Orion, Scully? That's my favorite constellation. I always seem to have good luck when he's watching over me. Something about his manly-man-ness, I think." "You just like him because he's so easy to find in the sky," Scully retorted. "Aw, c'mon, Scully, give a stargazer like me a little more credit than that! In my line of work, it's essential that I can point out Reticula on any given night." "You know, with a sailor for a father, I've been known to do a little bit of stargazing myself," Scully said. "Oh, really?" Mulder said, rising to the challenge in her voice. He quickly pointed out the first constellation he could find and yelled out its name. Scully joined in and the game was on. They continued for a few minutes, making quite a bit of noise in the process, until they had exhausted all the recognizable stars in front of them. During the course of the game, Scully had somehow settled back, and she was leaning against the hood of the car between Mulder's legs, his left arm entwined around her waist. They paused for a minute, both catching their breath. "So, Scully, did you make a wish upon the star?" "I may have," Scully replied somewhat coquetteishly. "Well?" Mulder inquired. "If I tell you what I wished for, it won't come true." "Agent Scully, that's very superstitious and unscientific of you. I am shocked and dismayed." "Would you rather I reminded you that a shooting star is one in its death throes?" she counteracted dryly. He chuckled a bit at that. "No, no, I wouldn't." They enjoyed the sheer comfort of the moment, settled in together in a most unpartnerlike manner. Well, at least in the manner of FBI partners. But they weren't exactly your average partnership, either. They'd been through too much together. That didn't fully explain, however, Mulder's arm being wrapped around her for the second time that night. Scully knew she needed to go home, but she just couldn't break away. Her thoughts were still far away when Mulder's voice broke in. "You know, Scully, you really aren't half bad with a bat. I think you might be a natural. Maybe we should join the Bureau softball league next year, make a few friends." Scully was glad to be facing away from Mulder, because her resolve on this issue was crumbling. She hoped he would drop it, but he pressed on. "With a couple more lessons, I think we could get you into the batting order. You any good with a glove? Besides the latex versions, I mean." That did it. She tried to contain it, but the laughter rippled up inside her anyway and forced its way out. She let go with a hearty chuckle that took Mulder completely by surprise. "What? What's so funny?" "Mulder...," she started to turn around, then decided she couldn't face him just yet. "Have I ever told you that I grew up on Navy bases? That I have two brothers?" "One of whom I have had the utmost pleasure of meeting. What's your point?" "That I was a tomboy as a child?" Realization dawned on Mulder then, and his arm slipped from Scully's waist. "You're a ringer!! Dana Scully, you... I can't believe... Why didn't you say something?" Scully was laughing hard by now, "I just... you were so..." Her words trailed off in another fit of laughter. There was no response from Mulder, however, and Scully finally turned to look at him. When she saw the expression on his face, she caught her breath and immediately stopped laughing. The hurt in his eyes was almost tangible, and Scully moved quickly to try to set things right. "Mulder...don't look at me like that. It was just a joke. I was just playing along. Besides-" She caught herself, amazed at what she had almost said. "Besides what, Scully? Why didn't you just tell me you knew how to hit? I feel like a sexist ass." Scully looked at him, but he was looking as far down as he could, his chin tucked to his chest. She was still close to him, still leaning against the car between his legs. His unexpected reaction to her little deception cut her to the bone. Mulder couldn't stand deception, even in fun, even for a good cause. She reached out and smoothed his hair, allowing her hand to slide around underneath his chin. His eleven o'clock shadow bristled against her palm, sending an odd chill through her. She lifted his head with her hand, but he refused to look at her. "Mulder, I'm sorry. I guess I was just afraid that if I told you the truth..." She faltered. He finally looked her in the eye. His gaze melted the last of her barriers. "That if I told you I knew how to hit, I wouldn't get a lesson from Fox Mantle." She stared back at him for a second, and the air seemed alive with sparks. She couldn't breathe. It felt as if time had stopped as she waited for his response. She hadn't said anything of importance, and yet, she had said everything. She knew it. And she sensed he knew it. After a few seconds, she couldn't take anymore, and she dropped her gaze, dropping her hand from his chin as well. But he caught her hand in both of his and sat there staring at it for what seemed like an eternity. Just then, the ballfield lights went out behind them, leaving them in heavy shadow. "I think that's our cue, Scully," Mulder said in an impossibly low voice. He let go of her hand. In one swift movement, he wrapped his left arm back around her waist, pulling her body against his. She lifted her head again to meet his eyes. She felt as if someone had knocked every last breath from her body, and it was amazing. His hazel eyes seemed to be getting closer to her, as if in some sort of dream. She was so focused on those eyes that his lips were an afterthought. Until they met hers. Then her world lit up with the energy of a thousand shooting stars, a burst of light so intense, Scully thought she could feel the heat it generated. She slowly realized the heat was coming from Mulder's body pressing against hers as his lips moved gently against her mouth. Still in slow motion, Scully became aware that she was responding to Mulder in only the vaguest of ways. Becoming more consciously engaged, she pressed harder with her mouth, and indeed, with her whole body. This emboldened Mulder, and he ventured a slight movement of his tongue into her mouth. She parted her lips further and returned his gesture. Soon, they were involved in a deep kiss more passionate, more intense than anything Scully had ever known was possible between two people. Of course, that also described their relationship as a whole. Maybe this extension of it really was only a matter of time. Or maybe it was just the night air and the bevy of stars causing them to behave like teenagers. Scully drew back from Mulder's embrace, slowly, so as not to seem too abrupt. Mulder at first leaned toward her, reluctant to let her move away from him. But he didn't push it too far. He let her stand back away from him, just keeping his hands on her hips so that she couldn't completely walk away. He looked at her searchingly. She grasped for words. "Mulder... I... I think..." "It's okay, Scully, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." "No, Mulder, there's no need to apologize. You didn't do that. We did. And it felt...nice." "Nice?" There was that look in his eyes again. "Okay, Mulder, it felt incredible." At that, his eyes lit up like a little boy's. At moments like these, she wanted to pull him into her arms and never let go. But there were just so many other considerations. "I just think we need to... make sure that's what we want. I think that's enough for one night." She hesitated, looking to him for guidance on the next move. "You mean you don't want to head to Vegas and book the chapel?" Mulder was ready, as ever, with a quip. She didn't know what to make of it, though, and she broke away from his grasp and headed toward her car. "Hey...Scully, wait." He swiftly hopped up and closed the distance between them with two long strides. He cut off her path, forcing her to look at him. "It's okay. I know exactly what you mean." He snatched up her hand and brushed a kiss across the back of it. "Good night, Scully." He looked at her for another instant, and then headed back toward his own car. Scully stood stunned for a second, then turned just before he closed his car door. "Good night, Mulder," she said, barely above a whisper. He somehow heard her, though, because he blew her another kiss before driving away. She sat in her car for quite a while before she felt able to drive home. She felt breathless and spent. But in a strangely good way. Happy Birthday, indeed. ************** Articulate (2/3) *Disclaimers and headers with part one.* ******* Scully padded out to her living room in her bare feet, as she tried to shake herself completely awake. She crossed over to open her front windows. There was a glorious early summer breeze to go with the brilliant sunshine. Scully stood at the window for a moment, savoring both, clad in her pale purple satin pajamas. A little rumble from her stomach surprised her. She was due at her mother's house for an early family dinner, but her body didn't seem willing to wait that long. Reluctantly, Scully left the window and headed for the kitchen to find something to take the edge off her hunger. All that bat-swinging last night had apparently burned up quite a few calories. She smiled to herself as she recalled her hitting lesson. Mulder was just full of surprises sometimes, she thought, as she poked around in her refrigerator. Not finding anything she had a taste for, she straightened up and closed the refrigerator door. Her smile faded as thoughts of Mulder began to fill her mind. She rummaged through her cabinets restlessly, but she wasn't really seeing the food. Mulder had kissed her. She had kissed him back. She had then lain awake in bed for quite a while, thinking about kissing Mulder. And about Mulder kissing her. She had eventually drifted off to a deep sleep born of her exertion in the night air. Kissing. Such an odd little word, really. And yet, it somehow contained the rush of emotions that it symbolized. She said it over and over in her head as she foraged for a snack. Her cupboards were full, but she couldn't seem to find what she was looking for. Maybe a muffin...yes, Scully decided, a muffin was what she was craving. Unfortunately, no muffins turned up in her methodical, albeit distracted, search of the kitchen. Damn, she thought, I guess I'll just have to wait till I get to Mom's. She went back in the fridge for the carton of orange juice. As she sipped the glass she poured, she wandered back to the window. Kissing...she and Mulder had been kissing. Outdoors, no less. What if someone had seen them? In the world they inhabited, one could never be sure who was watching. And they had uncharacteristically thrown caution to the wind. Well, it was uncharacteristic of her, anyway. But it felt so good. Every time Scully's mind dredged up all the very valid reasons why she should not have been kissing Mulder, her lips practically started tingling. She could still feel him there, still taste his sweet breath. It had been so natural. But... But, but, but! Why did her world always have to be filled with obstacles and objections? Why couldn't she just go with her instincts, follow her body's ever-growing longing for his? Because she was the sensible one, that's why. It was for her to balance out Mulder's yin of impetuousness with her yang of steadiness. There were far too many complications for her and Mulder to become more than the best friends they were. The mere thought of explaining the situation to Skinner sent a chill through her. No, she thought, her rational mind re-taking control, it just shouldn't happen. But how were they to deal with what had already happened? Scully could convince herself to just chalk it up to the beautiful night and the electricity of their bodies swinging together at pitch after pitch. She wasn't so sure Mulder would be as willing to let it go. Then she realized she was being awfully conceited in thinking that Mulder had it that bad for her. In reality, he was probably sitting around thinking the same, "How do we get out of this one?" thoughts that she was. Actually, she thought, glancing at the clock on the VCR, he was probably still asleep. She sighed as she took her glass back into the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher. Maybe they wouldn't deal with it at all. After all, the same thing had almost happened nearly a year ago, in a desperate moment in Mulder's hallway, and they had never directly spoken of that. She knew Mulder was well-versed in all the reasons they shouldn't embark on a romantic relationship. Scully suspected he also thought that if she got closer to him, They would try to hurt her again. As paranoid as he could be sometimes, he was probably right about that one. And, yet, somehow, that risk was one she was willing to accept. Leaning against the counter, she was lost in her own head. Another glance at the time told her she needed to head for the shower. Food, she told herself, you're heading in the direction of food. And Mom's cooking, at that. That was enough to get her moving. The knock on the door startled her thoroughly, making her jump. The soft call of "Scully?" through the door only made her heart race faster. She opened the door to the sight of a smiling Mulder, dressed in a strangely half-casual, half-preppy manner, in a polo shirt and khakis. Scully wondered briefly if their undercover assignments as "Rob" and "Laura" had rubbed off on him. At least the shirt wasn't pink. Mulder held up a white paper bag. "Can I interest you in a lemon poppy-seed muffin, Scully?" Scully stared at him for a second. Then she started laughing. Mulder, thoroughly disconcerted by her reactions, stood there looking at her. "Come in, Mulder," she said, still smiling, "You have no idea how interested I am in that muffin of yours." "Careful, Scully," Mulder smirked, "We don't want the neighbors to overhear." Scully rolled her eyes as she ushered him in and closed the door. She all but snatched the bag from his hand. Mulder looked at her, wide-eyed, but still with a trace of his smirk. "So, Mulder," she said around a mouthful of muffin, "what's the occasion?" Mulder hesitated, "What occasion? I've brought you breakfast before." "No, no," she hastened to defuse the question. "I meant why are you dressed up on a Sunday?" Mulder replied somewhat sheepishly, "Well, I was hoping the muffin would be an early appetizer for a nice dinner somewhere." Scully's eyebrows went up. "Oh. Well, unfortunately, I'm scheduled to be at the family compound for dinner." "Oh, OK. Another time, then." Mulder looked utterly crestfallen. Suddenly, Scully knew this wasn't going to blow over this time. She opened her mouth to invite him home for dinner, and then she hesitated. It was a potential minefield on a good day, much less on a day when the two of them didn't know how to act around each other. But...oh well. She could handle her brother. "Would you like to come with me to my mom's?" Scully blurted, as if she was asking him to the prom. "You know she always makes way too much food. Besides, she was just saying that she hadn't seen you in a while." Mulder's face lit back up as soon as the invitation was out of her mouth. "If you're sure it's OK, that'd be great. I think I was dreaming of your mom's cooking last night." "Well, before you get too excited, there's more to it than that." Mulder looked at her quizzically. "Bill's in town." She gave him a second to absorb that news, watching as a cloud passed over his face. Then she hit him with the follow-up: "And Charlie's here, too." "You mean your fictional brother?" Mulder said, trying to lighten the moment a bit. "He is not fictional. It's about time I get to prove that to you. And he's also not as much of a hard-ass as Bill, " she said, her tone softening. "If anything, he'll probably take your side. But he is still my brother. You've been warned." Mulder smiled at her, suddenly looking a little less eager to go to Maggie Scully's house. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise," he said. "Just don't let him bait you, Mulder, and everything'll be just fine." She stood up from the couch and tossed the remote at him. "OK, I obviously need to get ready. Enjoy the television." She headed toward the bedroom. Mulder called after her, "Ooh, Sunday morning TV. Maybe if I get really lucky, `The 900 Club' will be on." Scully couldn't suppress a smile at his comment, but she was already down the hall. He didn't see her grin, and it was probably just as well. ********* Scully emerged from her bedroom a short while later to find Mulder happily humming along to Elvis's '68 Comeback Special. "Look, Scully," he said, delighted, "it's on VH1!" His humming briefly became a soft croon: "Don't be cruel...to a heart that's true." "Gotta love cable," Scully retorted with a wry smile. She had donned a baby blue twinset of soft cotton, along with her favorite jeans. She would have been a little embarrassed to admit that she had spent her entire shower deciding on an outfit. Dinner at Mom's wasn't usually a fashion occasion. But she knew the twinset really set off her red hair and blue eyes. And the tank top dipped just low enough to reveal a modest amount of cleavage. Despite all that she had decided earlier, she was glad Mulder was coming with her today. The combination of the incredible weather, her slightly sexy top, and his presence by her side had her feeling on top of the world. She grabbed her purse and tugged on Mulder's arm. "Come on, I'm starving. Let's go." "OK. Just let me listen to this next song," he said, glancing up at her. It took only a second for him to recognize the look of impatience on her face. "OK, I'm coming." He snapped off the TV and rose to his feet. She walked out the door ahead of him and, by habit, toward his car. "Hey, Scully," he called to her, "Does your mom get VH1?" "Get in the car, Mulder." ************** As they walked up to Maggie Scully's front door, Scully realized she felt like skipping, although she wasn't sure what she was so happy about. An hour or so ago, she had been deep in melancholy. And all it had taken to turn that around was Mulder's arrival. There was something pathetic about that, she mused. Oh well, she thought, may as well enjoy it while it lasts. Scully opened the door and led the way in. She ran into little Matthew Scully almost immediately. The toddler was chasing after his cousin, Katherine. But she was almost two years older than he, and she eluded him easily. All Mulder and Scully saw was a flash of strawberry blonde hair disappearing around the corner. Matthew, on the other hand, promptly plopped down on his rump and waited for Aunt Dana to come lavish attention on him. Which she, of course, readily did. "Hi Matty," she cooed, bending down and scooping him up. "How are you? Were you chasing Katie? Where'd she go?" Scully smiled at the boy, who wasn't really comprehending much of her string of questions. Smoothing his wild hair, she turned to Mulder. "Mulder, this is Bill and Tara's son, Matthew. I don't think you've seen him since he was first born." "No, I haven't," Mulder replied, "He's really growing fast." "Well, the men in my family are all tall, so that's not surprising." "Mm-hmm," Mulder agreed, "he's a good-looking boy." Scully glanced from Matthew over to Mulder to find him looking at her intently. It was as if he was mouthing the usual banalities about other people's children while his mind was elsewhere. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze, and she turned toward the kitchen. There was happy noise emanating from the big, homey room, and she could feel it pulling her in. A general shout of "Dana!" went up as she reached the doorway. Matthew spotted Katie again and immediately wriggled in her arms, demanding to be freed. Scully obliged him, and he took off again, stumbling along with that odd toddler gait, the result of rookie legs and large diapers. Maggie came over first to embrace her daughter, followed quickly by everyone else. Scully spent an especially long time in the arms of the slender, sandy-haired Charlie. He had the Irish Scully features, but he was slightly built, more like his sisters than the stocky Bill. His blue eyes seemed to get a bit misty as he hugged Scully tightly to him. It had been well over a year since they had seen each other. Much too long, Scully thought to herself. Mulder stood in the protective shadow of the hallway during this little family reunion. Eventually, however, Maggie spotted him and drew him into the group. "Fox," she exclaimed, "what a lovely surprise." "Oh, yes, Mom, I picked up a stray on my way here," Scully said, smiling as she placed her hand on Mulder's arm for moral support. He looked terrified, she thought. Ironic how this man could face down armed men who had orders to kill him, but could be scared of her family. As she looked back around the gathered circle, though, Scully could see why. Bill looked like he was practically ready to pounce on Mulder. Tara was pouting as if the whole day had now been ruined. Charlie and his wife, Rachel, looked uneasy. Despite having never met Mulder, they had, naturally, heard stories. Scully hesitated in the face of this opposition, but Maggie stepped into the breach. Firmly, she guided Mulder directly towards Bill, determined to get this out of the way. "Bill, you remember Fox Mulder, don't you?" She looked at him in that silently coercive way that mothers have, until he stepped forward and stuck out his hand. "Yes, of course. Good to see you again, Fox," he said with a little too much emphasis on the last word. Mulder shook his hand and nodded, but said nothing. The ice was broken, however, and Tara stepped forward and shook Mulder's hand as well. "That's a beautiful little boy you have there, Tara," Mulder said quietly. "Thank you. It's good to see you. How have you been?" "Good, good," Mulder replied. Breaking her silence, Scully moved up to introduce Charlie and Rachel. "Charlie," she said, motioning him forward, "this is my partner, Fox Mulder. He prefers `Mulder'," she said pointedly. "He insisted up until today that you were my imaginary brother." Charlie chuckled as he shook Mulder's hand, "Well, considering the amount of time I've been around the last few years, you can't blame him." Charlie approached Mulder warily, but without the hostility of Bill. He was, by nature, much slower to judge people and much more willing to forgive them their errors. Scully often thought that he had more of Maggie in him than any of the rest of them. Finally, Rachel strode forward and introduced herself. "Hi, Mulder, I'm Charlie's wife, Rachel. Nice to meet you." She was a very attractive brunette, with green eyes that flashed with emotion. Rachel was always outgoing, and today she seemed to be relishing the chance to talk to somebody else who was an "outsider" to the Scully clan. "Well," Maggie said, "now that everyone knows everyone, let's eat." They sat down to a generous spread of home-cooked goodies. As plates passed from hand to hand, they sagged under the weight of piles of food. A lively chatter started up, as the Scully family played catch-up after their long separation. Mulder, true to his word, was on his best behavior. He didn't say much of anything beyond "Please pass the peas," unless someone directly asked him a question. Even then, he strove to keep his answers as vanilla as possible, trying his damnedest not to give Bill an opening. Scully was proud of him, in a way, but she was also annoyed at the fact that Mulder couldn't just be himself, thanks to her brother. In the end, even Mulder's good behavior wasn't enough to prevent the inevitable. They were in the midst of some conversation about an old base they'd lived on as children. Scully found herself looking at Katie and drifting off a little bit into space. She never heard the question Charlie asked her. "Dana? Hello...earth to Dana," Charlie laughed as Scully started. "Where were you there, girl? That must have been some trip." Everyone laughed. Scully felt herself flush a little. "Sorry. I was just thinking how much Katie looks like Melissa did when she was a little girl." At that, the table quieted. The presence of the missing Scully sister could seemingly be felt in the room. As soon as that ripple passed, it seemed everyone simultaneously thought of another little girl that looked like Melissa. Mulder stealthily placed his hand over Scully's, which was clenched in her lap. He was afraid to look at her, though. She was staring down at her plate, hoping this awkward, painful moment would pass. She usually did a good job of suppressing her feelings about Emily, but that didn't mean a day went by that she didn't think about her. After a seemingly eternal silence, Maggie said, "Yes, she does, doesn't she?" with a sympathetic smile in Scully's direction. Trying to be helpful, Rachel chimed in with, "Really? I didn't know that. You'll have to show me those old pictures after dinner. I know Charlie would just love that, anyway." She playfully poked him in the ribs, and he smiled indulgently. The tension seemed defused for the moment. From the head of the table, Bill suddenly weighed in, "You could have practically seen her in the flesh if you had come to San Diego for Christmas last year. Uncanny. Of course, I hope Katie's fate turns out to be a little better than Melissa or Emily's did." Everyone at the table ceased to move. In the case of Mulder and Scully, they ceased to breathe. Scully looked sharply at her brother. He took note of that, and continued on anyway. "If you're smart, Rachel, you'll keep her far away from him," he spat, gesturing in Mulder's direction. "Bill," came the stern response from the other end of the table. Maggie was trying to pre-empt any further carnage. But it was Scully who spoke next. "That is enough." Her voice, tremulous a moment ago, was now steely and decisive. "I will not have you talking about my guest that way." "Afraid I might hurt his feelings?" Bill sneered, looking at Mulder. "I think I owe him at least that much for what he's done to my family." "He hasn't done anything to us, Bill, and I'm tired of you blaming him." She was flushed with rising anger now. He had finally crossed the line. "I just don't want Katie to end up as a test subject, that's all." Scully gasped. She couldn't believe her own brother could be this cruel. "Bill Scully, what has happened to you? How can you sit there and abuse me like that? When did you become such an ass?" "All right! That is enough," Charlie finally spoke. "I don't get to come home and be with my family very often. Is it too much to ask that it not be a war zone around here?" "You'll have to ask Bill about that, I'm afraid," Scully said, standing up and slamming her napkin onto the table. "He's the one who refuses to let this go." With that, she stormed out of the room and headed for the front porch. Bill, never one to concede the last word, followed her. They seemed to take all the air out of the room with them. Mulder couldn't have slunk any lower in his chair without falling out of it. Maggie and Tara looked dismayed, while Charlie and Rachel seemed stunned. The kids, meanwhile, were busy throwing peas at each other, unnoticed. When Bill opened the door and marched out onto the porch, Scully sighed. She wasn't looking forward to Round Two. Or was it Round Twenty-two? She braced herself and spun around to meet his glare with her own. "What the hell is your problem? How dare you start that nonsense in front of everyone like that!" she protested loudly. "My problem?" replied Bill, "I'm not the one who spends every waking minute with an alien-chasing crackpot who has no concern for anyone but himself!" "You're really one to talk about being selfish. You just upset everyone at that table for no reason except to humiliate Mulder." "Well, he has no business being at this house. It takes some serious balls for him to show up here and act like he's one of our family when he's spent so much time destroying it." "He has never destroyed anything in our family! I'm not going to put up with you saying that. And he didn't just show up here. I invited him as my guest." "That's because he has you brainwashed." "What?!" "There's no other explanation for it, Dana. Why else would a bright girl like you hang around with a trouble-maker like him? He's got some kind of Svengali hold on you." "Bill, for God's sakes, I am an adult, not a wayward teenager. Brainwashed? Is that what you think of me? I see now-" "Dana, I don't fault you for it. You can't help it. But if you can't break away from him on your own, then I can sure as hell try to help you." Scully was so angry that her hands were shaking, and she felt as if her knees could give way at any moment. She wanted for all the world just to turn and run away from Bill and his patronizing contempt. Instead, she turned on him with a ferocity she didn't know she had in her. "How dare you? How dare you! Who do you think you are? Why do you think you can make decisions for me and my life? You have not been appointed as my protector!" "Oh, that would be Mulder, right? The one that's almost gotten you killed so many times, I've lost count. I'd say you're due for a new protector," Bill spat out. "I can assure you that I'm in no need of a protector, period. I am capable of managing my own life." "So you're choosing Mulder over your own brother?" Scully gasped. "Choosing? Why do I have to choose?" "Because I will never be able to stand for his presence near you or anyone else that I care about." Scully looked long and hard at him, and she gathered her composure somewhat before speaking again. Taking a deep breath, she said evenly, "He is my partner and my best friend, and if you can't respect that he is a part of who I am, then-" "A part of who you are?! Dana, listen to yourself!" "I am listening. You're not. Look, Bill, I don't expect you to understand. I don't see how you ever could. But I do expect you to have respect for me and for the choices I make. If you don't have that respect, then there's nothing more to say." Her gaze didn't waver as she finally faced him down. She steeled herself for his response. But instead of unleashing all the fury of the heavens upon her, he just clenched his jaw and shook his head at her. Then he stalked off the porch and headed up the street, feet slamming into the pavement with each step. Scully looked after him, dumbfounded at what had just taken place. She braced her suddenly weak body against the railing of the porch and tried to regain some semblance of peace within herself. She dreaded going back into the house, especially since Bill would not be with her. Praying that no one would ask her what had happened or where he had gone, Scully gathered her wits and went back inside. ***************************** Articulate (3/3) *Disclaimers and headers with part one. ************ Needless to say, when Scully returned, dinner had ended. Maggie had banished everyone to the living room after giving orders to Rachel to try to make Mulder feel better. Scully could hear her melodic voice as she gave it her best shot, but Scully knew instinctively that Rachel wasn't likely to get anywhere. Maggie was cleaning up in the kitchen, and Scully headed straight there. Maggie turned from the countertop she was wiping when she heard Scully's soft tread. "Dana, honey, are you OK?" she asked, putting down her wash rag. "I'm fine, Mom," Scully replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest and leaning against the refrigerator. "Where's Bill?" Scully sighed. "I don't know. He took off down the street." "Well, he'll come back in a little bit, and then you can work it out." "I don't know this time, Mom. He... he was really rude to Mulder." "Yes, he was," Maggie replied softly. "I'm tired of it. I feel bad about yelling at Bill, but he's had it coming for a long time. I don't get what his problem with Mulder is." "He's just being protective of you, honey, that's all. He doesn't want to see you hurt anymore." "But, Mom, Mulder doesn't want me hurt, either. He spends more time than he should trying to protect me." "I know, but it's hard for Bill to know that because he's not here that often." There was a pause, and Maggie returned to her countertops. After considering it for a moment, Scully asked, "Mom? You don't blame Mulder, do you?" Maggie turned around so that she could look Scully in the eye. "No, Dana, I most certainly do not. I know Fox would never do anything that could hurt you, not on purpose. I worry about the risks the two of you take sometimes, but I would rather see you taking them together than apart. Fox cares a lot for you, and you care for him. That's a rare and wonderful thing in this world." Scully smiled and reached a hand out to her mother. "Thanks, Mom," she said, "I needed to hear that right now." Just then, Charlie ambled into the kitchen, clutching several empty glasses. "Didn't mean to interrupt, but I need a few free refills," he declared with a smile in Maggie's direction. He looked questioningly at Scully. "Everything going to be all right, Dana?" "I don't know, Charlie. I think that's up to Bill." "Well, he wasn't exactly behaving like a gentleman back there at the table. I don't know what his problem is. This Mulder guy seems OK to me. I think he's definitely ready to go home now, though. Not that you can blame him. First Bill insults him, and now Rachel's in there talking his ear off." This last bit was said with an affectionate smile from Charlie, as he thought of his wife trying to cheer Mulder up. "Yes," said Scully, "I think we'd better get going." She made a move toward the doorway. "Charlie, you're in town for the whole week, right?" "Yep, we both actually managed to get an entire week off." "Good, then I'll make sure to call you tomorrow or the next day. I'd like to see you again and spend some time with you and Rachel before you go." "I'd like that, Dana," Charlie said as he put down the glasses he was holding. "In the meantime, how `bout a hug?" He opened his arms out wide, and she gladly sank into them. "It really is so good to see you, Charlie. I miss you so much in between visits." "I know. I miss you, too." When they separated from their embrace, Scully headed for the living room to collect Mulder. She found him sitting on one side of the loveseat, with Rachel, naturally, on the other half of it. He looked utterly miserable, although he was trying to be polite for Rachel's sake. "Hi, guys," Scully said, mustering as much enthusiasm as she could. Mulder didn't even look up at her as she approached. "I hate to be a party pooper, but I think Mulder and I should get going. We've got a new case to get started on in the morning." Mulder rose from the couch just a little too quickly. Although Tara and Rachel could tell that the "case" was an excuse, they were more than happy to let it slide in this instance. Everyone followed Mulder and Scully to the front door, where the requisite round of hugs ensued. They walked side by side to his car, neither saying a word. When they were about halfway to Scully's apartment, she couldn't stand it anymore. "Mulder?" There was still more silence before his reply came, "What?" "Talk to me." "What would you like me to say? `That was a lovely dinner'?" "No. I just... I don't want you to worry about what Bill said. He was way out of line." "Was he?" Mulder challenged her as he pulled up in front of her building. "Or was he the only one bold enough to voice what was on everyone else's minds?" "No, Mulder. Bill's the only one who thinks that way." "If you say so," Mulder replied, turning his head to look out his window. Scully sensed there was no point in trying to convince him of anything right now. He'd gone into his protective cocoon of guilt, and he would stay there until he was ready to emerge. "Do you want to come in for some coffee?" "No," Mulder said, a little harshly. Then he relented a bit. "Not tonight." He finally turned to look at her. "I'll see you tomorrow, Scully." "OK. Goodnight." Scully got out of the car and walked briskly up to the door. She heard him pull away as soon as she was safely inside. Turning on the lights in her apartment, she dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and turned on the coffee pot. As she added the coffee and the water, her mind raced. The night certainly hadn't turned out as she had hoped. In fact, it had been her worst nightmare. She wasn't sure if Bill would ever speak to her again, and now Mulder was doing his best turtle impression. She shouldn't have taken Mulder over there. But she never could have expected the violence of Bill's reaction. And she shouldn't have to fear his reactions to anything, anyway. It was none of his damn business. She could feel her anger rising again as she thought of their argument. Svengali? Brainwashed? Maybe Bill had spent too much time in the military. Scully poured herself a cup of coffee and headed toward the couch. She opened a case file that she had been meaning to familiarize herself with, but soon found she couldn't concentrate. She finally switched on the TV, flipping around between channels until she found "Evil Dead 2" playing on a local station. She smiled, wishing Mulder was here to watch it with her. It was a personal favorite of hers, and it was right up his alley. Her smile faded as she realized that the movie wasn't the only reason she wished he was here. She felt as if she had been cheated out of his company for the evening. Restlessly, she went to the kitchen for her other cup of coffee. She knew that it was a bad idea to drink this much caffeine at night, but something told her she wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon, anyway. Listening halfheartedly to the TV, she wandered to and fro several times before she realized she was pacing like a caged animal. Maybe I should go for a walk, she thought. But she didn't really feel like wandering aimlessly outdoors. She looked at the telephone, longing to pick it up. But he hadn't been very forthcoming in the car. Chances were, he wouldn't talk to her on the phone, either. Scully exhaled noisily. This wasn't fair. Less than 24 hours ago, Mulder had kissed her. While that hadn't necessarily been a good idea, it was infinitely preferable to the way each of them was feeling right now. She imagined him lying on his couch, flipping channels as she had been doing. Or maybe he was at the bar on the corner, drowning his latest sorrows. This last image tugged too hard on her heart. She turned off the TV, tossing the remote onto the coffee table. Grabbing her purse and turning the lights back off, she headed for her car. ****************** As she rode the elevator to the fourth floor, she wondered what she was doing here. What was it she hoped to accomplish by showing up at his apartment? She walked slowly down to his door. She hesitated briefly before knocking, not knowing what she was going to say if he opened the door. But also not knowing what she was going to do if he didn't. Her first knock drew no response. She knocked again and called softly, "Mulder, it's me." After a few seconds that seemed to her like an hour, she heard him shuffling toward the door. The door swung in slowly to reveal Mulder standing there in a T-shirt and sweatpants, his hair ruffled. He eyed her warily. "Scully?" "I didn't wake you, did I?" "No. I was trying to sleep, but I wasn't succeeding. Come on in." He gave way for her to step in and then closed the door behind her. She walked a few steps toward his living room and couldn't help but laugh, despite the tension in the room. "Evil Dead 2" was running on his television. "What's so funny?" "I was watching this movie at home. I...I was thinking how you would like it." "Oh. Yeah, it's a classic." They stood there for a moment, neither sure of what to say. Scully decided to make another attempt at discussing the Bill situation. "Mulder-" was as far as she got before he stopped her. "Scully, look...I know you feel bad about what your brother said, and you want to make sure I'm OK. Well, I'm not OK. You know why? Because everything he says is true. He has every right to hate me." "Mulder, stop it right now," Scully said, forcefully. "You are not to blame for the things that have gone wrong. Cancer Man and his cronies are the enemies here." "But you would never have encountered them if it wasn't for me." "You don't know that! They are the ones responsible for putting us together in the first place. What makes you think they didn't already have me marked for some reason?" Mulder considered this for about half a second, then turned his back on her and strode into the living room. "Regardless, Scully, I've almost gotten you killed on numerous occasions. And Melissa did die." "That was an accident." "Yes! Because they were trying to kill you!" He was thoroughly agitated now. Scully hated that look of self-loathing in his eyes. She wanted so badly to make it go away, but she never seemed to find the right words. There was an unholy racket coming from the TV now, as the movie reached its gory conclusion. Mulder stormed over to it and punched the power button with the side of his fist. "Mulder, listen to me. You didn't `get me' into danger. Everything that I've done, everywhere I've gone with you, I've done of my own free will. And when something has gone wrong, you've always been the one who has saved me. Mulder, you've saved my life more times than I can count. But for some reason, no one ever seems to remember that part. Not you, and not Bill." Mulder had been listening intently to her, but the mention of her brother's name brought the storm clouds back to his face. "Yeah, and now Bill has another good reason to hate me." "What do you mean?" Scully asked. "What do I mean? I ruined a wonderful Scully family dinner. I came between you and your brother. He'll never forgive me now." "It's Bill who should be asking your forgiveness." "Yeah, right." "Bill was unbelievably rude to you today, and he has never given you a chance. I'm sick of it, and I told him so." "And I'm sure he said, `Oh, OK, Dana, I'll play nice from now on.'" "No," Scully said, deadly serious. "He wanted me to choose between the two of you." "Oh my God," Mulder said, sinking onto the couch and holding his head in his hands. "This just gets worse and worse." Scully moved toward the couch. "I told him, of course, that I didn't think I should have to choose. But I also made it pretty clear to him that if he forces me to make a choice," she said, her voice growing softer as she sat down next to him, "I will choose you." Her last words hung in the air as she sat there watching him, unable to see his face or guess how he was going to react. She placed her hand gently on his thigh, and, slowly, he looked up at her. When he did, his face was a canvas of a thousand emotions, all battling for control. His eyes were moist, and his lower lip trembled slightly. "Why, Scully? Why on earth would you choose me over anyone?" "Because I can no longer imagine my life without you. And if Bill can't accept you as part of my life, then that will be his loss." Mulder stared at her in disbelief. She almost smiled at the dazed look on his face. She waited for him to collect his thoughts, wanting to hear them. "Scully... I... I need to tell you something." "Anything, Mulder." "Last night..." he ventured, tentatively, "you said you wanted us to take time to make sure of what we really want." Scully nodded. "There are a lot of complications involved." "I know that. But I also know what I want." He turned to face her on the couch, taking hold of the hand that had rested on his thigh. It was her turn to marvel at the intensity with which he was gazing at her. She felt her breath catch in her chest, and time stopped again, as it had last night. "I want you, Scully. I want your intelligence and your stubbornness and your generosity and your toughness. I want to see your beautiful smile more often, and I want to be the reason for it. I want to see you wake up in the morning, and I want to watch you fall asleep at night. I want... I want all of you, Scully. And I know that's a lot to ask, but-" She stopped him by putting her fingers to his lips. "But it's yours for the asking." She took a deep breath. "I love you, Mulder." His voice broke slightly as he replied, "I love you, too, Scully." Neither of them moved for a second, busy trying to bring their ragged breathing under control. Then Scully reached up and put her arms around him, nestling her head between his shoulder and neck. His pulse pounded in her ear. She could feel her own body trembling, as the enormity of what they had just said swept over her. It had taken forever for them to find the courage to admit the truth to each other. Now that they had, Scully found herself exhilarated by the rush, rather than terrified by the potential consequences. When she pulled her head back slightly, she looked at him with eyes shining with admiration and love. "Then I guess it's settled," she said, as casually as she could, given that her heart felt like it would burst. "I guess so," he replied, smiling shyly at her. She smiled back at him, and suddenly she knew, without a doubt in her heart, that this was right. She saw in his eyes that he knew it, too. Leaning forward onto her knee, she pulled him close. They hovered there for a long second, breathing in each other's essence. Then she grazed his lips with hers, so softly he barely felt it. Moving more aggressively, she kissed him harder. He responded eagerly, and the kiss seemed to last forever. It grew sweeter and sweeter as each of them reveled in the fact that their feelings were out in the open at last. At last, their lips parted, reluctantly. Scully opened her eyes to see Mulder gazing at her as if she were some sort of goddess. "Mulder, stop looking at me like that," she said, playfully swatting at him. He responded by grabbing her and sliding her onto his lap. She gasped, but she snuggled up against him. All of a sudden, the long day and all its emotions caught up with her. She was so tired. Sitting here, with her head on Mulder's chest, she felt like she could sleep forever. "Mulder," she said, "what time is it?" He squinted at the VCR clock. "Almost ten." "That's it? God, I'm so tired." "Well, it's been a really long day. And a very draining one." "Yes, it has. I guess I should go get some sleep, or I'll never be able to get up for work tomorrow." She pushed herself slowly away from him, but didn't rise from his lap. When she turned her head to look at him, he had a conflicted look on his face. "Scully?" "What is it, Mulder?" "Don't go." She looked at him, trying to decipher the meaning in his words. "I mean...I really don't want you to leave right now. Maybe...maybe you could just... sleep here with me." His voice had the pleading tone of a little boy who really wants a new bike for Christmas. Scully couldn't help but smile. "You know what, Mulder?" "What?" he said, hesitantly. "I would love that," she replied, delighted as his face lit up. "But I need to go to bed, or else I'm going to fall sound asleep here on your lap." "I have no problem with that," he said with a smirk. "Your legs would have a problem with it in a few hours," she countered, "Come on." She got up and offered her hand to him, pulling him up off the couch. They went into the bedroom, where Mulder dug up a pair of shorts and a T-shirt for her to sleep in. He went to brush his teeth, subtly giving her privacy while she changed. She smiled at that. Scully didn't think it would be much longer that they would be changing in separate rooms. But enough had happened today already. They should save something for later. She was already in his bed when he came back from the bathroom. He hesitated for just a second when he saw her, as if to assure himself that that really was Dana Scully lying in his bed. He smiled at her, turning out the light as he climbed in next to her. There was quite a bit of moonlight in the room, though, and they could still see each other clearly. They lay there, facing each other, holding hands, but otherwise not touching. "Did you set the alarm?" she asked him sleepily. "Yes. Six OK?" "Yes," she replied with a groan. "Don't forget, we have a nine A.M. with Skinner." "Yeah, I'm hoping he's got something good for us this time. If not, there's that other one in Tennessee. Did I show you that file with the-" Scully cut him off. "Tomorrow, Mulder, OK?" Mulder chuckled. "OK." He hesitated for a moment, still in disbelief that she was lying next to him. Leaning his head toward her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, Scully," he said softly. "Goodnight, Mulder," she murmured through a smile. And then she was asleep. He watched her drift off. And for the first time in a long time, Fox Mulder fell asleep almost immediately. ******************** Scully's eyes fluttered open. Briefly disoriented, she soon realized where she was. In Mulder's bed. In her sleep, she had rolled over to face away from him. She gave her eyes a moment to adjust to the dark, but it didn't take long. Moonlight still flooded the room. Mulder had left the blinds open, and the night was clear and bright. She glanced at the clock on his nightstand: 4:16am. She rolled over as gently as she could, not wanting to wake him. He was still facing her, and he was sleeping peacefully. The very sight of him so nearby brought an immediate smile to her face. Mulder. Her Mulder. Here, in this bed, with her. She could feel the heat emanating from his body, and it warmed her straight through. She felt so content at that instant that she couldn't think of a single thing about him that she didn't love. All his annoying habits, all his peccadilloes and his issues, all seemed to vanish in the glow of the moonlight. They would come back in the harsh glare of day, she knew, but for now, she felt pure joy as she watched him sleep. He had kicked the blanket mostly off himself (although, thankfully, not off of her). This afforded her the opportunity to study him fully. She had, naturally, spent many hours looking at him over the course of six years together. But now Scully could look at Mulder through new eyes, through the prism of a love that she was finally allowing herself to feel and even to express. Now, as she studied his hair, her fingers itched to run through the thick waves, as always. Her eyes wandered over his face. She had always thought he was handsome, from day one. But the angles of his face had grown on her over the years until she couldn't imagine liking any other face. Even the nose that he privately hated, she found uniquely charming. And those lips...so full and soft...they were everything she'd hoped they'd be. She fought the urge to kiss them again, right now. Better to let him sleep. Her eyes continued their survey of him, traveling down along his stubble-covered jaw line and along his neck. How many of her tears had fallen on that neck? Scully longed to replace them with kisses and to taste the smooth skin there. She noted the breadth of his shoulders, the strength of his chest. Even through his T-shirt, she could see the definition of his pecs. His torso, long and lean, lay fully stretched out, his shirt bunched up around his stomach. His sweatpants had inched down until the waistband perched along the line of his hipbones. Scully followed the line of dark, curly hair that traced a path south from his navel. Her eyes flicked quickly past that area and down to his long legs that were lost in the baggy sweatpants. His feet were hidden from her view, tucked under a roll of blanket. Rolling onto her back, Scully replayed their earlier conversation again in her head. Mulder had really laid it all on the line with her. And she had responded with an openness that had surprised her. She hadn't come here tonight intending to declare her love for him. At least, that wasn't her conscious reason for coming. She had just wanted Mulder to know where she stood as far as the Bill situation went. The Bill situation. Scully didn't like that phrase at all. Bill wasn't a situation; he was her brother. He just wasn't acting like it at the moment. Glancing over at Mulder again, Scully sighed quietly. Mulder made her life complete. She wasn't going to give that up. She just had to figure out how to get Bill to see Mulder as the wonderful human being that he was, rather than the monster Bill saw in his mind. Scully could feel her eyelids fluttering shut again. She turned to face Mulder again, getting as close as she dared without waking him. Inhaling his masculine, sleepy fragrance, she closed her eyes and welcomed the darkness of sleep once more. *********************** It seemed the next moment was six A.M., and the alarm was blaring its undignified noise. Mulder reached over and slapped the snooze button, cursing softly. Settling his head back on the pillow, he gazed at her with sleepy eyes. "Morning," she said in a low voice. "Morning, Scully," he answered with a smile. "Thanks for staying last night." "You don't have to thank me, Mulder. I could get used to this very easily." At that, he wrapped her up so tight he nearly suffocated her. Their parting kiss was long and sweet and full of the hope of a new beginning for both of them. When they separated, Mulder looked at her intently. "I love you, Dana Scully." "I know, Mulder. I love you, too." "I just wanted to say it first this time," he said with a smirk. She groaned and rolled out from under the covers. He quickly gathered the blankets back over himself to compensate for the warmth she took with her. The sun was coming up now, and its warm light replaced the cooler glow of the moonlight. Scully gathered her things quickly, feeling his eyes on her as she moved. By the time she finished, however, and turned around to say something to him, he was sound asleep. She smiled and shook her head at him, checking his alarm clock to make sure that he had only hit snooze and not turned it off. Today of all days, she did not feel like explaining his lateness to Skinner. Her fibbing ability just wasn't up to that task. Taking one last look at his sleeping form, she blew him a kiss and headed out the door. *********************************** Author's Notes: I envision this as Part One of a three part story. Hopefully I'll actually get around to writing the rest! This is by far the longest fanfic I've written yet, so if you have an opinion, good or bad, please feel free to share it with me. You'll find me at LiveHead16@aol.com. And very special thanks to Amanda and Myrtle for beta-reading for me.