From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 14:24:46 -0600 Subject: Paradise 1/1 by rwriter Source: direct Reply To: rwriter32@hotmail.com TITLE: Paradise AUTHOR: rwriter E-MAIL: rwriter32@hotmail.com ARCHIVE: Please ask before posting. RATING: PG CATEGORY: MSR SPOILERS: One Son SUMMARY: Scully decides to get away to clear her head. DISCLAIMER: All "X-Files" elements and references in this story belong to Fox broadcasting, Chris Carter and 1013 Productions, and I am making no money from it. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Though I have read many MSR stories before this is my first attempt at writing one. Please be kind and send feedback. I knew I had to do something. I felt as if I've been holding my feelings in for so long and I am so tired. So here I am Dana Scully a well-educated sensible woman driving 80 miles an hour to get to the airport. I can't figure out what I am driving so f ast, but I have to get to the airport before....before what? Anyway, I left a message on my mother's answering machine and on Mulder's cell phone telling them both that I am taking the week off and for them not to worry about me. I felt unhappy all week. I know that I am taking all my emotions out on Mulder. He would ask me a question and I would either ignore him or snap at him. So, for the both of us I had to get out. The weird thing is I don't feel the kind of restlessness that brought on the Jerse situation, I just have this feeling of utter sadness that seems to be radiating from my heart. So, when Mulder went to lunch I decided to go on-line to find someplace where I could go to be far away from everyone. It is late February so I wanted to go someplace quiet and different. After going through link after link on vacation packages I final ly remembered a place my old friend Margaret once went to, the Greek Island of Mykonos. Margaret had described Mykonos as a quiet and beautiful island and if my memory serves me my friend had went during this time of year. The island would be quiet because spring break is a month away and the weather isn't quite as warm. Now as I buy my ti cket from the Virgin Airlines counter I hope that this trip will help me find some of the peace I need in my life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay,I have my panic face on. I just checked my cell to hear Scully's voice telling me that she was leaving me for a week. Well, actually she said that she was taking the week off, but she might as well of said it was to get away from me. All I know is that in the past week I have done something wrong to anger my Scully. My Scully, that would sound so right if it were true. Deep down I know that she must care for me, but she just doesn't agree with me. That's a laugh of course she doesn't agree w ith me I am the foolhearted believer who would check out a case if someone told me that they saw aliens on the New York subway. You know what the sad thing is, I probably would and I wonder why she left me. I'm on my way to Scully's mothers' house. She has to know where she went. I just want to make sure everything is okay. "Hello. Is anyone home?" "Who is it?" "It's Fox Mulder." " Fox, is everything alright?" I hate the look of fright Mrs. Scully gives me every time I come to her house without Scully. "Everything is fine. Have you heard from Dana?" "No." "She left me a message on my phone this morning saying she was going out of town for a week." "Come in Fox I haven't checked my answering machine this morning I've been in the garden. Have a seat." Mrs. Scully walked to the other room and I could hear Scully's voice on the answering machine. {One new message, Saturday 6:00 a.m. Mom, hi it's me. I'm sorry that I can't talk to you before I leave, but I am going out of town for a week. Don't worry about me I am going to spend some time alone and think some things through. I will be home soon . Mom, trust me. I will be safe, but I just have to do this. Bye , I love you.} Mrs. Scully made her way back into the living room. "Do you know where she went?" "No, Fox but from the phone call I received I gathered it was important that no one know." "I just want to make sure that she is okay." "Fox, you should know this by now. When Dana decides she wants to do something she will. She feels she needs to be alone, then she should be left alone. I trust her. Don't you?" "What? Of course I do, but I just .......I'm sorry to bother you Mrs. Scully I'm sure everything will be fine." "Fox, you don't have to run off I could make something for us to drink." "No, thank you I just remembered something I have to do." ______________________________________________________________________ I think that this is one of the longest boat rides I have ever been on. I flew into Athens a few hours ago and I got right on the boat to Mykonos. I love the sea. As I look out into the Adriatic Sea I feel at home. I think about all the history in thi s land. All the stories that were written about the Greek gods and all the voyages that where written about in The Iliad and The Odyssey. I can't believe that I am out here, but it feels good. It feels good that for just a moment I can be free. I can d o what I want to do and not have to worry about the time or what people might think of me. My mother and Mulder have probably heard my message by now. I know that my mother probably wasn't pleased about me leaving so quickly, but I know that she will un derstand. Mulder on the hand is probably worried to death. I bet if I checked my cell phone there would be six messages asking me to call him. I wonder if he is really worried about me or is he worried about himself. I don! 't understand Mulder. He tells me things like, 'You're my one in five billion' and 'You made me a whole person', but after he says it he goes back to acting like typical Mulder. The more I think about it the more I understand what the last week has been about. It was about me being mad at Mulder. Ever since I confronted him with the information on Diana and he basically took her side. Any normal woman would have left him at that moment, but I had to be the professional partner. When I called him on his cell phone and he told me he was with her I wanted to kill him. Even at the end of the whole situation when he knew she knew more than she was telling him I found no satisfaction, the damage had already been done. So the question is can I go on? Can I continue working with him when I feel like he has betrayed me? ********************************************************************** So I'm a little pathetic. I just got to my office after I searched Scully's apartment for a clue to where she went. Now I am going through Scully's desk to find some clue to where she has gone. To make things worse I've called her almost ten times on he r cell phone thinking that she would actually pick up on that tenth time. Okay, so I'm really pathetic. I can't help it I know that this is about me. I did something to drive her away. If I apologize and tell her how I feel then she will forgive me. The problem is every time I try to tell her that she is the only thing that makes my life worth living I mess things up. I told her that she made me whole and she thought I meant that her science made me whole. I tell her that I love her and she thinks that I am under medication. Granted I haven't been very smooth with my declarations of love, but I'm trying. There is nothing in this desk. Wait a minute. What if she checked the internet. She had been trying to get me out of the office all week.. Okay if I log on and check the history lets see what comes up. Okay there's a web page that references medical web pages, ohh fun. Wait what's this? Greece? She went to Greece. There are five web pages on the island of Mykonos. It looks like she could have bought a ticket off one of them. Okay, I know this is il legal, but let me check her e-mail. Here it is: Dear Ms. Scully, Your flight has been confirmed. Please be at the airport two hours before take off. Here is you confirmation number: 1015dag. Your itinerary will be in the mail. I take out my cell phone and book myself on the next flight to Greece. ______________________________________________________________________ I miss Mulder. God, I am so sad. I'm on Mykonos the most beautiful island I have ever been to and all I think about is Mulder. I see the windmills and think of the funny comments he would say. I laugh at the pelican that is the islands official mascot and think how Mulder would have loved this place. When did he become so much of my life. Last night when I was standing by the ocean shores I decided that the best thing would be for me to leave the X-Files. Actually I decided that I should leave Mulde r. At the time the decision made sense, but now the thought of not being with him makes me feel so lonely. This morning I walked for hours around the island and it occurred to me. I love him. I mean I've always known that I loved him, but this is di fferent. I thought that I loved him and that it was better to be with him and work by his side and that would be enough. Now I realize that the feeling of sadness in my chest was really longing. I love him more then I thoug! ht that I would ever love anyone. He is in my every breath and in my soul. This is why I have to leave him. I can't stand here and watch him get hurt or worse watch another Diana waltz into our lives. I was so mad at him because he crushed me, he crushed my heart. At least if I left him now I would still have a chance to sa lvage something of a normal life. God, this seems crazy. What is normal? I have a chip in the back of my neck and I can't have children because I was a pawn in a government conspiracy. Normal, ha! Still I've had enough disappointment in my life I don't think I can take another. Tomor row I will leave here and go back to DC. I know that my heart will bleed from missing him for a long time, but I know that I am making the right decision. _____________________________________________________________________ I must look like crap. Everyone is staring at me as I walk through the streets of Mykonos. What do they expect I have been traveling for hours to get here. The problem is for being so intelligent I forgot to check on what hotel Scully could be staying at. I thought it's small island how hard could it be. Then as I walked off the boat it hit me. People not only stay at hotel rooms here they rent rooms from the locals. This is going to be fun. So here I am walking though the streets of Greece looki ng for Scully. How hard could it to spot a beautiful American redhead here anyway? ********************************************************************** My boat leaves in two hours. I finished packing and checked out of my room. The women was so nice and the room only cost me a few dracmas. I found a Catholic Church on the island. I am sitting her looking at the picture of the Virgin Mary and Jesus on the wall. God, please give me some strength and guidence to decide what to do with my life. Am I making the right decision? ________________________________________________________________________ I managed to find a nice room to rent and take a quick shower and change. I was pretty confident there was no way Scully was going to get off of this island in the next hour because one the next boat isn't for two hours and two the island is on a siesta. I am really starting to like this place. Anyway I knew that I had to take a shower or Scully might decide to jump into the Adriatic because I smell so bad. Here I am wondering the streets looking for my Scully. I've looked everywhere and now I am starting to worry. Then I see it. A Catholic Church with a beautiful blue roof. She's there I know that she is I can feel it. As I walk into the church I see h er on her hand and knees praying to the Virgin Mary. "Scully." "Mulder? What are you doing here? How did you find me?" "I checked on your computer and I saw the web pages you had pulled up." "Mulder, I told you not to worry about me and that I would be alright. Why did you follow me here?" "Look Scully, I'm sorry I didn't obey your wishes, but I needed to talk to you." "Mulder, let's go outside I don't want to have this conversation here." I follow Scully outside the church. "Mulder, what did you need to talk to me about that couldn't wait until I got home?" "Scully, I know that you left because of me of because of something I did and I'm sorry. I just needed you to understand that I love you." "What a bunch of crap!" "What?!" "Is this one of your attempts to keep me with you Mulder? Do you think that you simply telling me that you love me is good enough. It's to late for that." "Scully, I don't get it. What do you mean?" I try to touch her so she can feel the love I have for her, but she pushes me away. "You, Fox Mulder, don't know what love is. Love is trust and a partnership." "Scully, you know that I trust you." "Oh really, I seem to recall on you doubting me about Diana." Great. I should of known this was about her. "Look Scully Diana doesn't mean anything to me. She is just a part of my past. Let's end this now. I love you Dana Katherine Scully don't ever doubt that. I know that I hurt you by not telling you about Diana, but I didn't know how. I once thought she was the love of my life." Scully looks like she is going to throw up, but I have to go on. "She was with me when I discovered the X-Files. I thought we had a perfect relationship. She understood my work and agreed with me. For a little while there I thought that I was happy. Then I started to work on the X-files more and more. I was never really available to her. Little by little we started to drift apart until she decided to leave me and take a position abroad. It's so ironic she left me almost the same way you did, but of instead of a cell phone she left the message on my answering ma chine. Do you know why I traveled all the way out here to find you Scully? I was so scared when I heard you say that you were going away for week. You might as well of said that you were leaving forever. I can't live without you Scully even for a week." "What makes this time so different, Mulder? What makes you so sure that I am the love of your life? If she left you why were you so ready to believe her when she popped back into your life again?" "I felt that it was my fault for her leaving. I felt that I owed her something. Now I know better. "Scully, I know that you are the love of my life because I can feel you in my soul. When you are not around me for even a second I feel as if a part of me is gone. That to me is what true love is. I can understand is you don't love me, just don't leav e me. I would die without you." *********************************************************************** What am I going to do with this man. He traveled all the way to Greece to find me. I need to clear things up between us. "Mulder, I do love you more than you will ever know." Mulder's eyes turn a dark shade of brown and he looks so happy. He is walking over to me. "Wait. I do love you, but I won't settle. I love our work, but I love you more. I don't want to lose you. I don't think that I could bare it. I need you to be honest with me, always. I don't want us to stop our work, but I want us to be together in everything. That means no leaving me behind." "Scully, I love you and I promise you that I won't leave you behind anymore, but you have to promise not to tell me that your fine when your not." "I promise." He is the most beautiful man in the world and he is mine. Mulder is walking over to me now with a look I don't think I have ever seen before. He cradles my face and kisses my eyes them my nose then finally he kisses me on my lips and I feel whole. "Mulder, though I love to kiss you the boat will be here in a few minutes." "Scully, where's your ticket?" "Right, he....re, hey!" Before I can finish my sentence Mulder rips the ticket out of my hand and throws it into the sea. "Love, I have a beautiful room that overlooks the sea. It would be a shame if I didn't put it to good use and left the island today.' Mulder looks at me with a wonderful gleam in his eye. I look out at my ticket floating away into the sea and realize that this is all I ever wanted in my life. I am on a beautiful island and I have found peace with the man I love. This is truly paradi se.