From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 29 Oct 2003 15:39:29 -0000
Subject: Partners, Friends and Lovers - Headers ( 0/35) by WilDaFox0619
Source: direct

Reply To: WilDaFox0619@yahoo.fr


Partners, Friends and Lovers - Headers

Author: wildafox0619 (wildafox0619@yahoo.fr) 

Started: 02/07/03 - Finished: 10/29/03

Rating: PG to NC-17 - Each part will be clearly marked.

Category: MSR - Angst - AU 


Spoilers: Season 2 to Season 5 to stay safe. Each part will have its
spoilers clearly marked. 

Disclaimer: Not mine; XF characters belong to 1013 Productions. 

Archives: drop me a line so I know where it goes and I can visit.
I'll send it to Gossamer and Atxc myself.


Summary : An alternative journey following Mulder and Scully from
the beginning of Season 2 to Season 5. An exploration of their
changing relationship through the years and the ordeals they had to
face. 

Feedback: Yes, please!

Visit my website: http://perso.wanadoo.fr/wildafox0619/


Author's notes and acknowledgements:

Timeline:, Whilst I'm following my own timeline in this story, I'm
also trying to be faithful to the show. I may deviate from the
official timeline by a few days to a few weeks because it works
better for the story.

Episodes: What we saw in the episodes happens in this universe until
we reach Memento Mori. Then I go my own way, letting some of the
plots in the show happen, some not. You'll see. You won't be
disappointed.

Thanks:

Thanks to my beta dream team, Tali and xdks, for all the time spent
on my work, checking and correcting grammar and spelling. And
rechecking and giving advice! I'd be nowhere near ready to write this
kind of story without you girls!

Thanks to Tarras for the dustjacket. I'm not good with the pic
manipulations so I asked someone who does that with a real talent.
Thanks honey for helping me out.

Thanks to CindyET : you gave me the strength to write and to post.
You have been supportive of me, especially when I doubted myself and
wanted to call it quits. It went straight to my heart.

How could I not thank the Mastobunch? You are my support team. You
were there to kick my a** when necessary. You were there to poke me
and ask "So, when will you start posting?". This story is dedicated
to you.  

My last thanks go to my husband who had to endure my writer's block,
as well as me getting out of bed at ungodly hours to write down a
scene. Thanks, my love, for your patience because this baby took all
of my free time and you never complained. Thanks for your support.

Finally, a big sloppy kiss to my two beautiful kids.



This is not a WIP. This story is finished and beta-ed. I'm posting a
part per day.

Chapter 1


Outside Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - July 8, 1994


Mulder got out of his wiretap assignment at 2 am. He felt weary. He
had tried to reassure Scully that he still had his work and her, but
deep down he knew better. The X-Files were lost to him, he was sure
of it.  This also meant that he would never be partnered with Scully
again. For the first time, he had found someone who respected his
beliefs even if she didn't share them. Aided by her Science, she
helped him separate the truth from the lies and he would be eternally
grateful for that. 

She was also his friend, trustworthy and faithful, though deep down
he knew that there was more to their relationship than mere
friendship. He was beginning to fall in love with her but he couldn't
commit to a romantic relationship with Scully. It would be betraying
his quest to find out the truth about his sister's disappearance.  

Tonight, his heart was waging a war with his mind, and he found
himself standing at Scully's apartment door, as if it was natural to
be there at that ungodly hour. He berated himself for being so needy
tonight, but he just wanted to see her. He wanted to feel alive and
she was the only person who could make him feel just that.  He tried
to convince himself it was a work-related visit.  He would tell her
that the DAT tape was blank and then leave.

Mind made up, he knocked and waited for her to open the door.

Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - July 8, 1994


Dana Scully couldn't sleep. Her mind was filled with thoughts of
Mulder and his obsessive behaviour. He was determined to find
something on the tape and she was glad to see that he was slowly
coming back to his old self. He needed his quest to survive and, even
if that consumed him, it kept him alive.

She was in love with him and could finally admit it to herself.
After all, he was a handsome, sexy guy and she wasn't blind. For
Scully, his mind was almost as intoxicating as his body and she had
never before known someone who was able to arouse her not only
physically, but mentally as well. Only Mulder. 

A romance with him was out of the question though. She couldn't
start something with a man so infatuated with his work and his quest.
A romantic relationship with him was doomed to fail, but she was
willing to accept anything he was able to give her.

She was roused from her reverie by a knock at her door. She knew,
without checking the peephole, who it was.  She opened the door,
coming eye to eye with Mulder who was doing his best to put on his
"lost puppy dog" look. The one she couldn't resist.

She opened her arms and he came to her. 

He used his foot to close the open door as he found respite in her
arms. She smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. She was a beautiful woman,
even if she wasn't the type he used to go for. Nowadays, she was the
only type he went for.

"Scully.." he moaned.. "I need you."

He felt drunk all of a sudden, drowning in her feminine scent. She
was all he needed to feel human, loved and desired, and she was there
in his arms..

He held her tightly against him, listening to her heartbeat and her
breathing. She was life. She would give him his strength back. She
pulled back from him and their eyes met. Her blue eyes burned with
passion and want and his hazel ones darkened with arousal. Their fate
was sealed. He started to gently rub his growing erection against
her. She gasped, surprised by the effect she had on him. She felt
good. She felt wanted. She couldn't resist him and when their eyes
met again, arousal burned within them and their lips joined hungrily.
He lifted her in his arms and walked over to the couch, sitting down
with her still in his lap, trapping his bulge between them.

Their tongues fought for control, nipping and sucking, while she
pulled off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. He fumbled with her
satin nightshirt, finally ridding her of it so that they were skin to
skin, her nipples taut against his chest. She rubbed her sensitive
peaks on his muscled torso, making him groan into her mouth. 

She was aroused to the point of no return. She lowered her hands to
the buttons of his jeans and undid them, reaching her final goal with
a moan of pleasure. She took the glistening purple head in her hands
and stroked him languidly while he divested her of her panties. 
Their moans were rising in volume as their arousal grew. There would
be no slow lovemaking tonight. Their joining would be fast and wild.

She let go of his rigid penis and he took the opportunity to lift
her up and impale her on it, finding her wet and ready. She moaned
loudly when he began to thrust in and out of her. Her head fell back,
thrashing wildly from side to side. He bent down and took one nipple
in his mouth while pumping in and out of her. Their release wasn't
long in coming and they fell over the edge together.

When they came down to earth, they fell limply against each other
embracing tightly, their breathing erratic. 

She was the first to realise the enormity of what had just taken
place, here on her white and blue striped couch. They had just had
sex; she wasn't sure if she would consider it making love. She loved
him, but did he really love her? She wasn't ready to face 
rejection
from him. She couldn't live through it. She had to be
 the strong one. 

Their eyes met and she saw his tears and the sudden guilt invading
his soul. Her heart broke into a million pieces, seeing him like
that. He didn't love her. It wasn't meant to be.

She took immediate action, needing to reassure him that it was
alright.

"Mulder..don't.. please"

"I failed you. I've ruined our friendship because..I wanted to feel
something more.."

"I was there, Mulder, and I didn't protest. I wanted it as much as
you did. It doesn't have to come between us"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we can go back to being just friends. We're not
ready for anything else. We have a lot of work to do and we can't
lose ourselves by becoming romantically involved."

She tried to be convincing, even if she was dying inside, but it
wasn't their time and she would have to make do with his friendship. 
It would be harder now that she knew how it felt to have him inside
her. She prayed that someday they would be together again 
in that way.

Mulder tried to process all she was saying. She wasn't angry. She
wanted to stay friends. She said they weren't ready for a personal
relationship. As usual she was being the strong one. He smiled
through his tears and took her in his arms.

"You are the best friend I've ever had, Scully."

The scene could have been laughable. There they were, naked on her
couch still breathless from mind blowing sex, professing their
undying friendship instead of love. Their quest had impaired an
important moment in their life and it wouldn't be the last time.

Chapter 2 
 

FBI Academy - Quantico - August 7, 1994


Special Agent Dana Scully was late for her first class of the
morning. She had felt sick just after drinking her morning coffee and
had to run to the bathroom to avoid vomiting all over her new suit.
It was the third morning in a row that she had felt nauseous so she
had made an appointment to see her med-school friend, Casey Faulkner,
before work that day.

Casey had diagnosed a bad case of flu, but she had drawn blood at
Dana's insistence to make sure and had agreed to give her the results
later that day. 

It had been one month since the *incident* with Mulder at her
apartment, and she could still feel him kissing her before he'd
stood, put his clothes back on and left her, as if nothing important
had taken place just minutes before. 

She had felt down for a few days and she knew it would never be easy
to forget the scent of him and what it felt like to have him inside
her, but she had to be strong for them both because Mulder was too
caught up in his quest to be personally involved with anyone. He
wasn't ready for a change in their relationship and she was
determined to make sure they weren't torn apart by a single night of
passion. 

They had worked together on every possible X-File that he had been
able to get his hands on. There had been the Flukeman in the New
Jersey sewer and people rendered psychotic by electronic devices in
Franklin, but it was just work. They never spoke about what had taken
place that night in July. They were still professional around each
other, even if their friendship was strained at the moment.

The week before, Mulder had arrived at Quantico along with an agent
named Alex Krycek. She smiled at the memory of the poor guy trying
not to lose his dinner in the autopsy bay while she reported her
findings to Mulder. The fact was, Krycek was his partner now, not
her.  Mulder had even joked about how great it was to have a partner
who didn't constantly poke holes in all his theories.  

Things had become so awkward between them, she felt like she was
losing him. They needed to talk and quickly. She made up her mind to
call him that night, to talk.  She took a cleansing breath, plastered
a fake smile on her face and joined her class.
 


Dr Casey Faulkner's Office - Washington DC - Same day.


Before going home, Scully went back to Casey's office. She felt
tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Maybe she was coming down with
the flu, after all. 

"Hi. I'm Dana Scully. I'm here to pick up the results of my blood
test."

"Ah yes, Miss Scully. Dr Faulkner wants to go through it with you.
I'll let her know you're here."

"Thanks."

Scully was slightly taken aback by the fact that Casey wanted to
talk her through the results, and entered the office with a feeling
of dread.


Dana Scully's Apartment -Georgetown- 8 PM


She was still in shock over her results. She sat down heavily on the
couch and switched on the News. Casey had given her a prescription
that would help with her nausea, and she had filled it at the
pharmacy on the way home.  She really needed to talk to Mulder, the
sooner the better, and was about to dial his number when her phone
rang.

"Scully."

"Hey Scully, I'm in Virginia."

Just as he was saying that, the TV news switched to the incident in
Virginia.

"Yeah, I know. I've been watching it on TV. What's going on out
there?" 
"What's the media saying?"
"That an escaped mental patient is holding four people hostage in a
travel agency."
"Well, what they're not telling you is that he's former F.B.I. who
also claims to be an alien abductee."
"Seriously?" 
"Yeah, his name's Duane Barry. Look, Scully, I need your help. I
need you to find out what happened to him. Anything, transcripts from
therapy sessions, hypnotic regressions, anything about his abduction
experience." 
 "Okay, I'll get to it..Mulder, I need to talk to you.  It's urgent."

He didn't answer, and she was sure he was trying to avoid the
conversation.

"Mulder?"

"Sorry, Scully, the lights went out for a minute here. We'll talk
when this is over, okay?"

"Okay. Stay safe."

She put the receiver back in the cradle and went to her computer to
boot it up. The talk had been postponed. She hoped that the hostage
situation would end soon.


Dana Scully's Apartment - Later that evening


The hostage situation was over. Mulder believed that the man had
been an alien abductee. He had taken the implant, which had been
extracted from Barry's belly, and had given it to Scully.

They had argued about it. She didn't believe that it was an implant,
alien or otherwise. It could have been anything but he had been
adamant.  They parted angry, after she had agreed to have it
analysed.  What she had discovered was incredible; there was a
barcode on the piece of metal. Mulder wasn't totally wrong; the
implant had been engineered but that still didn't mean that it was by
aliens.

She had just arrived home from the grocery store, where she had
tried to pass the implant over the barcode reader and the machine had
gone crazy. She wasn't sure what that meant, but she knew it was
important.

She slumped onto her chair, tired beyond words. She still felt
slightly nauseous and couldn't bring herself to eat. The tension
between her and Mulder didn't help and she needed to break it. They
had things to talk about.

She decided to call him back tonight, whether or not he was ready to
hear what she had to say.  She dialled his home number but his
machine picked up. She hesitated before hanging up and decided to
leave a message.

"Mulder, it's me. I need to talk to you. First off, I just had
something incredibly strange happen. This piece of metal that they
took out of Duane Barry, it has some kind of a code on it.  I ran it
through a scanner and some kind of a serial number came up. What the
hell is this thing, Mulder? It's almost as if... it's almost as if
somebody was using it to catalogue him. Anyway, get back to me and
we'll talk about it.  Mulder, I also have some other news, personal
news, and it's really important that we see each other.."

She was interrupted by a noise from outside.  Still holding the
phone, she went to the window to investigate only to find Duane Barry
peering in at her.  In an instant, Barry had broken the window and
entered Scully's living room.  She tried to escape but he was too
quick and pushed her down, knocking the phone from her hand.  

"Mulder!  I need your help..Mulderrrr"

Scully made a grab for the phone, but Barry grabbed her before she
could get to it. She put a protective hand on her belly when he hit
her, but he was too strong and angry for her to successfully fight
back. She closed her eyes and then everything went black.

Chapter 3 

Fox Mulder's Apartment, Alexandria - August 7, 1994


Fox Mulder was in a reflective mood. Why was his anger directed at
Scully? After all, her scepticism was nothing new; she always
addressed the questions he didn't think to ask.

He was incredibly tense when he was around her now because of his
need to control his feelings. He had started to fall in love with
her, and their one night of shared intimacy had been giving him a new
perspective on their partnership and friendship. However, she had
made it clear after their encounter in her apartment that she only
wanted his friendship, nothing more. He didn't want to be rejected
again so he had come to the conclusion that being friends was better
than losing her altogether.

For two days she had wanted to talk to him. When they had met today,
they'd had an argument that had been more serious than he originally
thought.  He was now worried that maybe she was regretting their
agreement to save their friendship. His insecurities were getting the
better of him and it never occurred to him that, maybe, she was
suffering equally from all the tension between them.

He noticed the blinking red light on his answering machine and
pressed "play", hoping it was Scully.

"Mulder, it's me. I need to talk to you.  First off, I just had
something incredibly strange happen. This piece of metal that they
took out of Duane Barry, it has some kind of a code on it.  I ran it
through a scanner and some kind of a serial number came up. What the
hell is this thing, Mulder? It's almost as if.. it's almost as if
somebody was using it to catalogue him. Anyway, get back to me and
we'll talk about it..Mulder, I also have some other news, personal
news and it's really important that we see each other.."  Then he
heard her crying and shouting. "Mulder!  I need your
help..Mulderrrr."  

There was a crash followed by silence.  She was in danger.  He was
out of his apartment before the machine switched off.

**

Her apartment was like a war zone. Her furniture had been knocked
over, and there was blood splattered over the carpet and some
furniture. Images of Duane Barry throwing Scully to the floor and
hitting her until she passed out ran through his mind. He could
imagine her beautiful and expressive blue eyes full of fear. He would
never forget her cries for help, his name on her lips calling for
him. He had failed her, like he had failed Samantha. He was
responsible for what had happened to her this evening.

He heard a commotion at the door and went to see what was happening.
It was Scully's mother. They bore a slight resemblance so he knew
immediately who she was.

"Mrs Scully?"

"Where is she? Where's my daughter?"

"Mrs Scully, I'm Fox Mulder. I'm Dana's partner. She isn't here."

He steered her toward the living room and sat on the couch with her.
The woman had tears in her eyes but she kept her control.

"I knew it would happen this way. I had this dream about Dana being
taken away. I, uh... I was going to call her but I was afraid I was
going to scare her. She would have laughed at me anyway. She doesn't
believe in that kind of thing, you know."
"I know.  I'll find her, Mrs Scully,"was all he could say.

 
Skyland Mountain - August 10, 1994


Mulder was watching the starlight. He'd come here after his last
talk with Mrs Scully. She had let him keep Scully's cross, sure that
he would find her and be able to give it back to her, but he had
failed her again. He had just missed Scully's captors by a few
minutes. He was sure that Krycek was behind the tram problems. The
young agent was dirty and when he found him, he would make 
him pay. 

He had lost his temper with Duane Barry. He couldn't bear the sight
of Scully's blood on this man's hands and he would have really hurt
him if Krycek hadn't intervened. Why had Krycek stopped him? Mulder
was sure that the rat bastard had killed Barry after talking with
him. What did he want to know? So many questions and no leads. 

Skinner had reopened the X-Files but what good were they without
Scully as his partner? He needed to find her, bring her home and then
they could have that talk. He would reassure her and maybe even
confess his true feeling. He couldn't lose her too. She was the
colour in his grey universe. She was as vital to him as the air he
breathed.

He rummaged through his pockets and found her cross, unclasping it
and putting it around his neck. Wearing it made him feel much closer
to her. The chain would remain near his heart until he could give it
back to her.



He climbed back in his car and headed to Georgetown.  He needed to
surround himself with her, and her apartment was the only place he
could do that. 
 
Location unknown -August 10, 1994


Dana Scully was lying on a slab in a white room. She felt drowsy and
couldn't move her limbs. She could make out some blurry faces all
around her but couldn't make sense of what they were saying.  They
were wearing surgical masks and white scrubs. A man leaned over her
and injected her with something that, immediately, made her dizzy.
Blackness surrounded her as she lost consciousness.

The Cigarette Smoking Man was reading her file and smiling at the
results. It was good news and he surely hadn't expected this turn of
events. Nonetheless, it was giving him a head start on the schedule
and, if all worked as expected, Dana Scully would be free sooner than
he had foreseen. He turned around to speak with the woman who was
waiting behind him.

"You are sure that Mulder doesn't know the news?"

"She never had the time." The woman answered reluctantly.

"Dr Faulkner, our deal is simple. You make all her files disappear
and your family will always be safe."

"And Dana? Will she be safe?"

"I only have her best interests at heart." He answered, while taking
another drag of his cigarette.

He left the room without giving the fearful woman another glance.
Casey Faulkner was silently crying while watching Dana in the
operating room through a glass screen. She had been forced to co-
operate with these men after they had threatened the life of her
husband and baby boy. She had been left with no choice but to betray
her friend. 

She turned around and left the room, hoping that someday she would
be able to explain to Dana why she'd done this awful thing.

 

Maggie Scully's residence. September 10, 1994


One month later, and with no clue about Scully's whereabouts, Fox
Mulder was visiting Margaret Scully. She had invited him, wanting to
talk to him. She had been particularly friendly, almost motherly to
him even, though he was responsible - he felt responsible- for what
happened to Scully.

He knocked at the door, taking a long and cleansing breath. Maggie
opened smiling widely.

"Fox, come in. I am glad you could make it!"

"Hi, Mrs Scully."

He entered her comfortable and simple home, taking off his coat and
hanging it on the coat rack. He followed Maggie into the living room.
Coffee and cookies were laid on the coffee table and, for a minute,
he forgot his guilt and enjoyed the simple gesture. She welcomed him
into her home as if he was a member of the family and it warmed his
broken heart.

He sat down on the couch while she poured him some coffee in a
delicate china cup and handed it to him with a handful of cookies. He
realised that he hadn't eaten a proper meal in a long time and his
stomach growled at the sight of the homemade cookies.

Maggie waited until he had finished eating to speak.

"Fox, I need to talk to you about Dana."

She paused, noticing for the first time the deep sadness reflecting
in his eyes.  She took his hand in hers and continued.

"We weren't very close these last few months. Since my husband's
death, I've closed myself off and haven't given my children all the
attention they need, but I knew that something was bothering Dana and
I wanted to know what it was. I was wondering if she had told you
anything?"

Mulder was surprised to learn that Scully hadn't been confiding in
her mother. He thought that they were really close and shared a
wonderful mother-daughter relationship. Obviously Scully hadn't
spoken to her mother about the personal matter she had wanted to talk
to him about. 

"She wanted to tell me something, something personal. She seemed
worried and I didn't.." he broke off, lowering his head guiltily.

"I am not accusing you, Fox. I know you had a lot of problems with
your job and you had been busy! *I* am feeling guilty because I
wasn't there for her when she needed me and I just hoped that she'd
told you what was wrong."

"I am sorry,"he whispered, tears in his eyes.

"There is no need to be. I am sure you will find her and she will
tell us that it was nothing to worry about. My baby girl is a force
to be reckoned with!" She said, equally tearful. 

She engulfed him in a tight embrace and all the tears that he had
held back since Scully's abduction broke loose. She rocked him gently
while he sobbed silently. The young man was broken and Maggie
suspected that his feelings toward Dana were more than mere
friendship. Fox Mulder was in love with her baby daughter and she
would be sure to take care of him. If she could take care of someone
else's pain, she wouldn't have to concentrate on her own.  She held
him until he was quiet.


Chapter 4


 Fox Mulder's Apartment, Alexandria. -November 4, 1994 - 7:30 PM


Scully had suddenly reappeared in a hospital corridor. She was in a
coma and the doctor's prognosis wasn't good. She was unresponsive and
below the criteria she had established for herself in her living
will, and Margaret Scully had taken the decision to switch off the
respirator.

Mulder didn't agree with her decision, like he hadn't agreed with
Maggie's decision to buy Dana's tombstone before her reappearance.
Scully couldn't die and leave him; he couldn't live with that burden.
He had been wallowing in guilt since her abduction, and that was the
reason he was sitting in the darkness of his apartment waiting for
the men responsible for her abduction. If it was his last act before
dying, so be it. He wouldn't let them go unpunished. It was his new
quest and he was determined to succeed. 

The darkness suited him. His soul had been lost since that dreadful
day in August, when Duane Barry kidnapped Scully. He had been in
limbo since then, waiting.  Assistant Director Skinner had reopened
the X-Files and he had used the Bureau's resources to try to locate
Scully, though his efforts were in vain. He had faced death and
defied it more times than he cared to count. He even came near to
sleeping with a woman who believed she was a vampire, while
investigating a case in LA.

His loneliness could have cost him his life before finding Scully.
Tonight, revenge consumed him and he wouldn't relent. They would pay,
no matter what.

A knock at the door roused him from his dark thoughts. He stood,
grabbed his Sig and went to the door. It was Melissa Scully.


Georgetown Medical Centre -November 4, 1994 - 8:15 PM


Melissa had convinced him to come and to say goodbye to Scully. He
couldn't resign himself to her dying, and needed to do something, try
to argue with her. He'd read that comatose people were able to hear
what their loved ones said, so he sat down next to her bed, in the
plastic hospital chair.

"I feel, Scully... that you believe... you're not ready to go. And
you've always had the strength of your beliefs. I don't know if my
being here... will help bring you back. But I'm here."

Dana Scully was walking on the beach. The seagulls were flying above
the peaceful ocean. She felt good and didn't want to respond to
Melissa's or Mom's voice. She wanted to stay here and rest. She
deserved it.

She stopped suddenly when she heard his voice, Mulder's voice. It
was the first time she had been able to understand what he was
saying. She sat down on the sand and listened to his low and sexy
voice. Maybe she could be convinced to go back.  

Mulder was still holding her hand and continued talking to her for a
long while.

"At first, I was sure you were sent to spy on me. It was your
mission but you never gave them what they wanted because you are
honest and your reports testified to that. You were so green, so sure
that science could explain everything. You were already beautiful
even if did you hid it under all those frumpy jackets. Don't forget I
saw you practically naked on our first case together..remember? The
mosquito bites?"

He smiled at the memory. She must have been so scared to let her
guard down like that with a perfect stranger. Frankly, he had
wondered if it wasn't a pretext to get him in the sack, but he saw
the genuine relief in her eyes when he told her that they were just
bug bites. Dana Scully wasn't a loose woman and he had begun to
respect her from that moment on.

"Our second case gave me a real insight into your strong will. You
got me out of Ellen's Airbase by menacing military men with your gun.
I just knew then that you were a force to be reckoned with. We built
a wonderful partnership, and friendship came along the way. You
respected me. You challenged me. You forced me to work harder to get
to the truth. More than that, you made me learn what trust really
meant. And there's something else, something really important I was
too chicken to admit. That night in your apartment, when we had..when
we made love, I realised that being just friends wasn't enough. I
love you, Scully and I need you to come back to me, to try to
convince me that it's wrong to think that we can't be involved. Come
back to me. Come back to me.."

His last words were whispered as he lowered his head onto their
joined hands and fell into an exhausted sleep. 

Dana Scully was still on the beach. She hadn't missed a word he'd
said. She stood up and went back in the direction she came from. It
was time to go home, to her family and to Mulder. Her time hadn't
come. It was time to start fighting.


Georgetown Medical Centre  - November 5, 1994 - 7:00 PM


Scully came out of her coma the following morning. It was
miraculous. Melissa and Maggie Scully had spent the day with her and
Mulder had made a quick appearance to offer her a silly sports video.
She felt weary. She loved her sister and her mother dearly, but she
felt smothered by them. She wanted to talk with Mulder, alone. She
needed him.

She couldn't remember anything from the time she was missing and had
very little memory of the days before that. She knew that she had
wanted to tell Mulder something important before disappearing but she
didn't know what. She hadn't forgotten their encounter on her couch
last summer; it was her most cherished memory and she was glad she
hadn't lost it.

She heard the door opening and her face broke out in large relieved
grin. He was here, wearing her favourite outfit of tight black jeans,
white tee-shirt and leather jacket. His presence made her feel alive
for the first time since she had awoken from her coma.

She focused on his eyes and saw utter happiness. Her mother had told
her about the sadness and loneliness that he had felt during her
absence. She had a hard time processing the fact that she had been
missing for three long months: It was as if she had fallen asleep and
woken up to a different world. It was fall now and she'd missed most
of the summer, her favourite season.

She held her hand out and he took it in his. He was smiling and she
thought he looked more relaxed than she had seen him for a long time.
He lowered his mouth to kiss her cheek gently and she shivered at the
intimate contact. She knew that they had decided to just stay
friends, but her resolve was failing her at that moment.

He sat down on the bed next to her, keeping her hand in his.

"How are you?"

"I am getting better. Tired and a little disoriented. Three months
is a long time."

"I know. I can go if you want to sleep."

"No! Stay, please! I haven't had time to talk to you. Missy and Mom
have been here all day and I was starting to feel smothered by them.
I love them dearly but they were too much for me."

"They missed you like crazy. So did I."

"I know." 

She blushed and he found it cute. Dana Scully was unfolding like a
flower and he loved it.

"Mom told me how hard you worked to find me and I wanted to thank
you."

"I failed. I didn't find you. You just reappeared."

"It's comforting to know that you cared so much that you spent all
your free time searching for me."

"It was my fault."

"How? You can't be sure of that. It could have been a coincidence.
Barry was mentally unstable."

"It wasn't a coincidence. You were taken because of the X-Files,
because of me"

She started to laugh and he stared at her in disbelief. 

"What's so funny?"

"You and me. I am back less than 24 hours and we are already arguing
about my abduction. We never change, do we?"

"No, I guess we don't," he said with a deprecating smile.

An unexpected and uncomfortable silence enveloped them. The time had
come to talk about had happened before her abduction. She had wanted
to talk with him and he had been so afraid that she wanted to call it
quits, that he had avoided the conversation before. He had to be
careful and he wasn't entirely sure if now was the best time to talk
about it.

"You wanted to talk about something before.." He started, clearly
embarrassed. 
"I know but..I can't remember what. Things are a bit confused right
now but I am sure it will come back to me. If it was important, I'll
remember."

"It was important. You were adamant we needed to talk"

"I'm sorry. I don't remember."

She lowered her head, defeated. Something was nagging her but she
just couldn't remember what. She needed her journal. It was her sole
means of discovering what was so important that she wanted to talk to
him about.

He took her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. She
seemed upset about her memory loss and she didn't need that at the
moment.

"Don't worry about that. You'll remember, but now you need rest. I
didn't mean to rush you. We have time."

"I want my memories back, Mulder." She said, getting more upset.

"You need to get your strength back first. Give it time. Come on,
lay back."

He helped her to lie back on her bed and tucked her in. He kissed
her forehead gently, lingering a few seconds more than was necessary,
and then turned to go.

"Mulder, please stay." She pleaded.

"Okay. I'll stay until you fall asleep. Deal?"
"Deal."

She closed her eyes and sleep came quickly. Mulder watched her
sleeping for a long moment, drowning in her peaceful face, and fell
asleep in the chair next to her. 

The nurse found them like that during her last evening tour. It was
against regulations but she let them be. They both looked so peaceful
and regulations could be forgotten for tonight. She closed the door
leaving the FBI agents sleeping.


Chapter 5

Margaret Scully's Residence -November 22, 1994


Dana Scully was released from the hospital two weeks after coming
out of her coma. Her mother had insisted Scully went home with her,
to help her recuperate. She was staying in the room she used to share
Missy. The two sisters had been really close until Melissa left home
to see the world. 

Missy was as mystical as Dana was down to earth. She believed in
astrology, numerology, tarot, mediums.. you name it, she believed in
it. Dana smiled, thinking about how she shared her childhood with a
mystical sister and was now partnered with Mulder, believer in aliens
and all things paranormal. 

Her thoughts wandered back to Mulder. He phoned her three or four
time a day, checking on her like a mother hen. She could see the
guilt behind the gesture. She knew him well enough to know that her
abduction had taken its toll on Mulder's conscience. He was a good
man and she could never put the blame on him. The danger and the
risks were part of the job and she had accepted them when she
enrolled in the Bureau. It was one more subject to add to the pile of
issues they had to discuss.

She was still trying to remember what had taken place before her
abduction. She could see herself grocery shopping and holding the
piece of metal, extracted from Duane Barry, over the barcode reader.
She knew that she'd had an appointment with her med-school friend
Casey Faulkner, but she didn't think that had anything to do with the
subject she wanted to talk to Mulder about.

Her memory loss was so specific that she had started to suspect it
was deliberate. Two years ago she would have been sure that it was
impossible to alter the memories of a human being but, after what she
seen with Mulder, she wasn't so sure. 

Something else was also bothering her; she hadn't been able to find
her journal. She had asked her mother to drop her at home just after
being released, and had searched her desk and her bedside drawers in
vain. The leather bound journal was missing.

A knock at her door made her jump. Melissa came in with cups of tea
on a tray and sat down next to her sister.

"How are you feeling, Dana?"

"A little tired."

"Mom had just made a fresh pot of tea and I thought we could have a
cup together, like we did when we were younger."

Scully could see that her sister wanted to talk. When they were
teenagers, they used to share their secrets while drinking hot tea.
She took a cup and the smell was still the same as she remembered.
She smiled, feeling comforted that not everything had changed in her
life. Melissa took a cup too and watched her sister. 

"What do you want to know, Missy?" Scully said trying to hide that
she was amused by her sister.

Melissa smiled and decided to be up front with Dana.

"Are you sleeping with Mulder?" she asked bluntly.

"Missy! He's my partner!" She answered, shocked.

"I know that but I feel something more. When you were in a coma, I
sensed that his feelings were deeper than one would have for a mere
co-worker."

"We are friends, best friends."

"Oh, Dana! It was more than friendship. I was there when he came to
visit you. I saw his smile. I don't think he is the kind of man who
smiles like that on a daily basis. His aura was strong. It was love!"

"Please! Stop it with the aura thing!"

"Auras don't lie. I know there's more between the two of you, little
sister. What I can't understand is why you are so shy about it? Life
is too short sweetie, you know that. You've just got another chance,
don't lose any more time."

Melissa was serious and Scully needed to get what happened with
Mulder out of her system. She knew that Melissa wouldn't be shocked
by her confession, but she still found it hard to open up. She
gathered her courage and decided to reveal her secret.

"Late one night, Mulder came to my apartment. He felt down and just
needed human contact. One thing led to another and, well, we ended up
having sex on my couch." 

She blushed at the recollection. Missy remained silent knowing that
it was difficult for Dana to talk about such personal matters.

"Oh Missy, he had tears in his eyes right after we were finished. He
looked so ashamed. I think he thought that he had used our friendship
to get a pity fuck. It wasn't what had happened. I made love to him
but, honestly, we were just not ready to commit to each other in that
way so I told him to forget about it and we should just stay friends.
He was so relieved when I told him that I wasn't angry. We cuddled
for a little while and then he got dressed and left. From that moment
on, I really believed that he didn't feel anything for me but, after
having seen him at the hospital, I know that he loves me as much as I
love him.  The problem is Missy, it's not our time. We have work to
do and we're committed to that."

"I'm sad for you both, Dana. You both deserve happiness. Why can't
you be lovers and partners?"

"Because we can't mix love and work, not without sacrificing one for
the other. He's already feeling guilty over my abduction and, if we
were in a relationship, he wouldn't let me do my job properly. I
can't, and won't, accept that. We need to stay partners and friends
for now. One day we'll have our chance, but for now we have to
concentrate on our work."

Melissa understood Dana, but she couldn't help thinking that it was
a waste of time to wait when you knew that you had met your true soul
mate. She was sure of it: Dana and Fox were meant to be. Their auras
were strong and brighter when joined together. Dana had lowered her
head and her sister knew that it was hard for her too.

"Hey, honey, I understand. If it works that way why not?  Just don't
forget my advice. You're meant for him as he is for you, I am sure of
it. I know you don't believe in auras but I beg you to believe in me,
little sis."

Dana smiled and embraced her sister affectionately. She felt much
better having confessed her secret. She wanted to believe Melissa,
but reality was her world and there
 was no place for wishful thinking.


J. Edgar Hoover Building -Basement Office- November 29, 1994


Mulder was rummaging through a filing cabinet when Scully entered
the office. She had asked Melissa to drop her off because she needed
to talk with Mulder. She felt a lot better and had left her mother's
home, wanting to get back on track; to have control over her life. 

She was dressed casually, and it felt strange to be at work dressed
in jeans and sneakers. She knocked on the door to make her presence
known. He turned around, surprised. It was rare that the basement
office had visitors and his face brightened when he spotted her.

"Hey Scully!"

"Good morning to you too, Mulder."

He went to his desk and sat down on his chair. She mirrored his
actions and sat on one of the chairs before him.

"Are you working on something particular?"

"Nah, I'm just doing a little research. You had an appointment with
Skinner?"

"No. I talked to him on the phone yesterday. I wanted to see you and
talk to you."

"About?"

"Skinner had asked me if I wanted to stay at Quantico or come back
to the X-Files. I gave him my answer and told him that I would tell
you in person." She said bluntly.

His disappointed expression didn't escape her. He was trying to hide
what he thought and was probably expecting her to stay at Quantico. A
part of him was, without a doubt, relieved, but he needed her in his
life. It was a fact now and it wouldn't be easy to go on without her,
but all he wanted was to keep her safe.

"I am coming back, Mulder. After what happened to me, I need to find
the answers. I have to find the people responsible for my abduction."

"You'd be safer at Quantico."

"I'd die from boredom at Quantico." 

He remained serious, trying to make her change her mind. He had to
make sure she wasn't doing it from a misplaced sense of duty. He had
to try to protect her.

"You've been held against your will for three months because of our
work on the X-Files. Do you really want to be exposed to that risk
again?"

"Please Mulder, I know what I'm doing. I need to make sense of what
happened to me and I am *your* partner, like it or not. I am not a
quitter and I plan to kick the asses of the bastards who stole my
memories and three months of my life! Don't forget I can kick your
ass too. I'm not fragile. I'm an FBI agent and I knew the risks when
I accepted the job. I won't give it up!" she said, adamantly.

Mulder watched her, trying to determine if she was telling the truth
or if it was just false bravado. Her blue eyes showed determination
and he knew without a doubt that he would never convince her to let
it go. He secretly admired her for her strength and swore to himself
that he would protect her no matter what. He stood and held his hand
out to her. She smiled and shook his hand vigorously. 

"Welcome back, Special Agent Scully."

"Thank you, Special Agent Mulder."


Chapter 6


Outside Donnie Pfaster's Home - Minneapolis -December 29, 1994



Scully was shivering when they finally left Pfaster's house. This
case had been hard on her, the hardest since her return to the X-
Files division. The incident with Pfaster had shaken her self-
confidence and, to her dismay, she had shown her vulnerability in the
field.  Mulder was aware of her turmoil. She was a very strong person
and she liked to be in control but, since her abduction, her
boundaries had been stretched to the max. 

Their recent cases had been back-to-back and she hadn't had time to
catch her breath. She wasn't sleeping well because of nightmares, but
what bothered her most was that she couldn't remember what she
dreamt, once she was awake. She was just left with an unsettled
feeling and she didn't like it. 

She didn't say anything to Mulder, afraid that he would feel
obligated to protect her. Her protective walls had been erected again
and they didn't talk much anymore, outside of the office. Their
relationship wasn't exactly strained, but they weren't as close as
they had been last summer.

She wiped away the tears and tried to put on a brave face, but
Mulder wasn't buying it. He knew that she hadn't been herself lately.
During the Pfaster case she had seemed afraid. The fact that Pfaster
had kidnapped her, and locked her in a closet, hit too close to home.
She hadn't really dealt with her abduction and its consequences yet
and the psychologist in Mulder knew that it wasn't good to keep
everything bottled up, as she was doing. She needed to talk to
someone and he felt hurt that she didn't trust him enough to come to
him. But tonight it wasn't about him and his feelings. She needed
comfort and he would give it to her.

He put his arm around her shoulder, sheltering her from the cold
wind. She gratefully accepted his warmth and embraced him tightly. He
led her to his car and helped her to sit down in the passenger seat,
then closed the door and took his place behind the wheel. She closed
her eyes and reclined on her seat, trying to chase the demons away.

"You okay, Scully?" he asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I'm fine."she answered without even thinking. It was her trademark
answer and he cringed at hearing it.

Their journey passed in a heavy silence. She kept her eyes closed
and he concentrated on driving safely to their motel. They couldn't
go on like this, something had to give and he hoped that their
relationship would survive it. 

He parked next to their rooms in the motel car park, then killed the
engine and turned to her. Her eyes were open but she was deep in
thought. She hadn't even noticed that they had stopped moving.

"We're here Scully."

She jumped as if she had forgotten where she was, undid the seat
belt, and opened her door. The night was cold and she had the chills
again. She rummaged in her pockets for her keys and finally found
them.  She went to her room door and opened it, turning to watch
Mulder, who hadn't moved an inch since he exited the car. He was
worried and she needed to reassure him, even if she wasn't feeling so
good at the moment.

"Come with me, Mulder." She pleaded.

She was afraid to be alone more than she would admit, and would feel
better if he was there. He joined her and closed the door behind him.
She entered the bathroom and locked herself in while he sat down
heavily on her bed. He was sure they wouldn't talk; she would hide
behind her protective wall and dismiss his concerns.

He didn't know how to confront her. He didn't want to fight, he just
wanted to help her feel better. He just wanted his best friend back.
He missed his witty, confident, scientific partner.

The water was shut off in the bathroom, and she came out clad in her
fluffy white robe with her head wrapped in a towel. Without make-up,
she couldn't hide the dark rings under her eyes and the gauntness of
her face. She had lost a lot of weight lately and he knew that she
wasn't eating well. He was worried that her encounter with Pfaster
would throw her deeper into depression.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Yes. Thanks for rescuing me again, Mulder,"

"That's my job Scully, you don't need to thank me."

"Mulder, I know you want to talk about it but..I'm not ready yet. I
need to sleep..I am so tired.."

"It's okay. All I want is for you to trust me with this. You can
tell me anything. I am not here to judge you. I want to help you.
Promise me, you'll come to me if you need anything during the night.
Anything."

"I promise, Mulder. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She had dismissed him with that last sentence. He wasn't sure that,
in the morning, she would talk to him wholeheartedly, but he was
determined to talk to her about everything, including what had
happened tonight with Pfaster.

He rose from the bed and, before leaving the room, kissed her
tenderly on her cheek.

"Goodnight, Scully."

"''Night, Mulder."


Motel 6 - Minneapolis -  The same night. 

Scully was strapped to a metal slab and a bright light was shining
on her. She was trying to yell but no sound came out of her mouth.
She heard people talking, whilst a cold gel was spread on her belly.
She couldn't see what they were doing. All she knew was that she was
hurting; it felt as if something was tearing her stomach apart. She
felt someone's hands on her, holding her down, and then the words:

"Shhhh  Scully.  Come on, wake up.  It's okay, you're safe."

Her eyes snapped open and she felt completely disorientated. All she
knew was that Mulder was here and he would protect her. She was
covered in sweat and the bedclothes were stuck to her body. He left
her to fetch a wet cloth from the bathroom. He came back and gently
wiped the sweat from her face, then put the cloth down on the bedside
table and cradled her face gently between his hands.

"You okay, now?"

"Yes." She whispered, still shaking.

He took her in his arms and held her tightly. Her breathing slowly
returned to normal while she rested against his warm chest. 

He hadn't had time to dress when he heard her screaming, so he was
just wearing his boxers. It was good to be so close again, even if it
was because a nightmare. He had missed it, more than he cared to
admit.

Scully had missed it too.  She drew back from him and looked up into
his deep hazel eyes. She could see concern and something that she
hadn't seen for a while: Love. She had first seen that raw expression
when they had made love in her living room, and had thought that it
was just arousal, but she knew better now. They had agreed that it
wasn't the right time to act on their feelings, and her mind was
still convinced that was true, but her heart didn't agree. 

She saw something else, too. He wanted to know what her nightmares
were about and wouldn't let go until he knew. Mulder was persistent
and asked, worry creasing his features.

"What were you dreaming about Scully?" 

She lowered her gaze, trying to avoid the proverbial elephant in the
corner.  She needed to give him an answer before he probed too far
into her psyche.

"It was bits and pieces of my abduction. I think it was triggered by
what happened earlier."

"What was happening?"

"I'm not sure exactly. I was afraid. I couldn't scream no sound
would come out of my mouth."

"Can you be more specific?"

She didn't want to remember; didn't want to be specific. She wanted
to forget, to bury the few memories she had of her abduction, but
Pfaster had pushed her fears back to the surface and she knew that
she was back to square one. She knew Mulder wouldn't be convinced
that all was fine.

"Please Mulder, let it go for tonight.. I don't want to talk about it
any more."

Her blue eyes were full of unshed tears and it broke his heart. He
let the subject go, for now, but he swore to himself that he would
try to break through her defences.

"Okay, you win. You okay to get back to sleep?"

She hesitated and then held her hand out to him, inviting him to
come closer.

"Stay."

He relented, for both their sakes. He knew that he wouldn't sleep
next to her. He couldn't afford to let his finely controlled emotions
go and let her see that he was feeling more than mere friendship for
her. He needed his control and sleep would allow his defences to
drop. He craved her like a man lost in the desert needed water. He
didn't want to jeopardize what they had because he was feeling horny.

He reclined on the bed next to her and switched off the light. She
cuddled up to him, making herself comfortable. She hummed contentedly
and sleep soon took her.

The nightmares were kept at bay while she slept next to him, and
that was all that mattered. Tomorrow was another day, but now she was
resting and Mulder was happy to be able to offer her some peace.


Chapter 7


Eisenhower Field Military Hospital - Alaska -February 4, 1995


"I found something I thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking."

This short speech seemed to exhaust Mulder and he fell back to
sleep. Although his breathing was still laboured, his other vitals
were stable. The antibiotics Scully prescribed had worked well and
the retrovirus was no longer a threat. He just needed to get his
strength back before being allowed to go back to Washington DC.

Scully remained seated next to his bed and held his hand, as if it
was an anchor. She'd almost lost him, and it was just beginning to
sink in how lucky she was that he was still there with her. She had
felt so relieved when he'd opened his eyes and spoken to her. 

She was still very angry with him for ditching her, and she promised
herself that she would have to double her efforts to rid him of that
bad habit. He couldn't go on hiding important facts from her just
because he was trying to protect her. She was a trained agent, like
him, and he shouldn't dismiss her just because he felt guilty about
her abduction.

She had fought hard against depression after her ordeal with Donnie
Pfaster and Mulder had helped her a lot. The morning after her
terrifying encounter with the psychopath, she had woken in his arms
after the first real full night's sleep since her abduction. She had
felt rested and understood that it was time for her to deal with the
feelings brought up by the incident. She had started meeting Karen
Kosseff, the FBI psychologist, twice a week and she was just
beginning to sort through her feelings.

She had been given a clean bill of health two weeks before; now all
she had to do was convince Mulder that she didn't need to be
considered fragile anymore. The man was infuriating but she loved him
anyway. 

Her love for him was still an issue that she avoided. She had to
remind herself on a daily basis not to forget that they were just
friends. She was determined to be strong, but it wasn't easy when
they spent so much time together.

After finding him in bed with her in Minneapolis, her heart and her
mind had waged a battle. It would have been so easy to respond to her
raging hormones and make love to him. He was so cute, all sleepy
looking with his spiky hair. He was such a turn-on; bare-chested,
with his morning erection poking at her back. But she had resisted
and also knew that it hadn't been a walk in the park for him either.
She could still see how embarrassed he was, nearly running to take a
cold shower and get some clothes on.

There were other important matters they had to discuss, like the
fact that he had agreed to exchange the person he thought was his
sister for her. He had estranged himself even more from his parents
by his actions. She needed to know why he had done that, because, if
she had known who it was, she would never have allowed him to
sacrifice his sister for her. They could have found another way. 


Eisenhower Field Military Hospital - Alaska - February 11, 1995


One week later, Mulder was well on his way to recovery and they were
scheduled to leave Alaska within the next two days.  Scully was glad
to be going home as she felt it was time for "the talk" as soon as
they got there. She was reading a medical journal in the cafeteria
when she saw Mulder enter the room. He was thin and gaunt but he had
a good appetite and she was sure that it was only a matter of time
before he regained the weight he had lost.

He sat down next to her, taking a sip from her coffee cup without
asking, just to irritate her. When he was bored he did all he could
to be aggravating. She put her journal down and gave him "the
eyebrow", hoping that she could keep the relief she felt from showing
on her face. She was relieved that he was better to the point of
annoying her. It was a big improvement. 

"Can't you get your own coffee, Mulder?"

"Where is the fun in that?" He smiled smugly.

"Just out of your hospital bed and you're already looking for ways
to get back in to it. Don't forget I am a doctor, Mulder, I know how
to hurt you without leaving marks."

"Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty to me, Scully."

"You are incorrigible, Mulder." She smiled.

"But you love me anyway."

He realised too late what he had said. Scully had been reluctant to
talk about what he called "the incident" at her apartment, last
summer. She probably didn't want to be reminded of her mistake. He
lowered his head. She saw his reaction and realised that his
insecurities were back in full bloom. There wasn't time for that.

"I do love you, Mulder. Never doubt it."

He raised his head, hope shining in his hazel eyes. She always knew
how to reassure him. He knew that she spoke of friendship but it was
good to be loved, no matter what way.

She stayed silent, gathering the courage to talk to him about his
sacrifice of who he thought was his sister for her, and the
subsequent ditch.

"Why did you agree to exchange your sister for me?"

"She wasn't my sister."

"You didn't know that at the time."

"I couldn't fail you again, and she was sure she could kill the
Bounty Hunter. I went prepared..or so I thought. I couldn't imagine
myself having to face your mother and tell her that I lost you again.
Never again." He whispered.

"You had to face your parents and tell them that Samantha had
disappeared, for the second time. 
How much harder was that?" She rose.

"I've been a disappointment to my parents for years. I couldn't do
that to your mother."

"It wasn't your fault, Mulder. You were just a little boy. Nobody
could expect a twelve year old boy to fight whatever, or whoever,
took your sister." She said, adamantly.

"I was in charge. I was responsible." He answered with unshed tears
in his eyes. "As I was responsible for your abduction. If you hadn't
been my partner, you would never have.."

"Stop it, already." She interrupted him, angrily. "I chose to join
the FBI. I chose to stay your partner. You can't feel responsible for
what happens to me while doing my job. I make my own decisions,
Mulder. We are partners and you can't keep ditching me because of a
misplaced sense of guilt. It has to stop, Mulder. Your behaviour is
unacceptable. You can't ditch me whenever you like!"

"It was dangerous. It wasn't official, and I couldn't drag you along
when I knew it was going to be dangerous and I couldn't guarantee
your safety."

"Bullshit! I deserve to be informed Mulder. I'm your partner. Like
it or not, we are in a relationship. We are friends and partners but
that means nothing if you can't be honest with me."

A heavy silence surrounded them; Mulder was taken aback by her
outburst. She still wanted to be his friend and his partner even
after he had treated her so badly. She was incredible and he was glad
that she still wanted him, flawed as he was. She had made a valid
point; they were in a relationship, just not the one he dreamt of. He
watched her carefully; her blue eyes were dazzling. She was still
angry because he had acted like an idiot and she'd had to save his
life again. He needed to stop this crap for the sake of their
relationship, if he wanted to keep her. He couldn't bear the thought
of losing her and that's why he had acted that way. It was wrong and
he would have to make amends.

He grabbed her hand and put it near his heart. She stared at him
with piercing eyes, nearly driving a hole through his soul.

"I promise to be honest with you Scully. I can't promise that I will
never be a fucking chauvinist because I hate putting you in danger,
but I'll tell you if I have to go. I won't ditch you on purpose
again. I'm gonna try to be a good partner."

He watched her impenetrable mask, trying to see something through it
but to no avail. He tried his last card:

"Still friends?"

She smiled a thousand watt smile and nodded. 

"More than ever." She answered, before drawing him into an embrace.
They stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the comfort they found
in each others arms.

Soon they would be back to DC; work was waiting for them. 


Chapter 8 


Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 10, 1995


Scully was pacing nervously in her living room.  She knew something
was really wrong with Mulder, he hadn't been himself for a couple of
days. He was more paranoid and more aggressive than usual, and she
was afraid that in an act of rage, he had killed his father. 

She had been waiting for him to return from Martha's Vineyard for
the past two hours. A knock at her door made her jump and she ran to
answer it, opening the door to an angry and feverish looking Mulder.
He fell into her arms, unable to stand another second 
without support.

"Mulder.. My God. Look at you. You're sick."

"I'm okay." He answered, sitting down heavily in her armchair.

"No come on, I want you to lie down.." She helped him to stand and
noticed at the blood on his clothes. "Woah.. come on, I want you to
lie down, let me take your coat off." 

She helped him with his coat and steered him toward her bedroom,
where she made him lie down on her bed. She touched his forehead.  He
was feverish so she went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth to try to
cool him down.

"You gotta find them Scully." He said, trying to stand up.

She forced him to lie down again and put the cool cloth on his
forehead, caressing his cheek tenderly.

"Right now you have to lie down. Come here." She whispered.

"We gotta find out who killed my father. "

"Well right now you need to rest okay? Rest, okay?"

He closed his eyes and sleep claimed him before she could give him
some Tylenol to help fight the fever. She decided to leave him be, to
get what little rest he could. 

She changed into her pj's and brushed her teeth, all the while
keeping watch on Mulder. She was worried because she didn't know why
he was so paranoid and so agitated. There was the matter of those
encrypted files, but he had been cranky before discovering their
encryption.

There was definitely something wrong but she couldn't pinpoint the
exact moment it all started.

She went back to her bedroom. He was awake but his eyes were glazed
over. She held out the Tylenol she had prepared and then helped him
to undress. She tried not to react when she bared his chest and went
to take off his pants.

She felt ashamed of herself, fantasizing about him while he was ill,
but she couldn't help herself. She couldn't help remembering the one
time they'd made love, she was only human after all. She could
rationalize all she wanted when he wasn't there, but now he was in
her bed in just his boxers and that was a major turn-on.

She gasped when she saw the bulge forming in his underwear. He was
reacting to her presence too.  Her head told her she had to fight and
be strong but her body was betraying her. Their eyes met and their
gazes held for a long time. She was unable to resist the fire in his
hazel eyes. 

He couldn't control the arousal, he was too wound up to resist and
he grabbed her hand and yanked hard.  She fell heavily on to him and
any protest she wanted to utter was forgotten when his mouth attacked
hers. She opened her mouth to welcome his tongue into the deep
recesses of her warm mouth. He thoroughly caressed and stroked her
tongue with his.

He was wild and uncontrollable. She knew that whatever had caused
his fever had removed his inhibitions and that he probably couldn't
stop, even if she asked him to. The decision was taken out of her
hands when he started to pull off her clothes. He caressed her
already taut nipples and threw her top on the floor.  He took care of
her pants and panties in one swift move. He was a man on a mission
and nothing would get in his way. Her body remembered his touch from
the one and only night that her brain tried so hard to forget. She
was lost in a whirlwind of sensation.

He quickly removed his boxers, freeing his hard-on. This was one of
his wildest dreams and it felt like he was really living it. His
fogged brain didn't register that it was actually happening and that
Scully was a willing participant.

She was wet and ready for him, and moaned as he rolled her onto her
back and entered her in one hard thrust. It felt so good. She felt
alive, truly alive for the first time since she had come back from
her abduction, even if deep down she knew that she was taking
advantage of a man who wasn't in complete control of his actions.
There would be a time for shame but now was a time for pleasure and
she was too aroused to stop him and be the voice of reason.

It didn't take much for her to reach her peak and she came hard at
the exact same moment his release came. She floated through the
clouds for a while and, when she came back to herself, she found him
deep in sleep. She blushed furiously when her mind took over and she
realised what she had done.

She disentangled herself from him and stuffed him back in his
boxers. He was snoring loudly and didn't stir when she covered him
back up.

The room reeked of sex and she felt dizzy and nauseous at the same
time. Shame was taking over and she didn't know how she could ever
justify her actions to him, or to herself. She was the one who
insisted that they had to stay as friends, and not move their
relationship to the next level. She was the one who didn't want to
approach the subject and now she had allowed him to make love to her
for the second time when he was really in no shape to do so, even if
he did initiate it. She hadn't rejected his touches and his kisses.
She was guilty.

She went to the bathroom to take a shower, and try to wash away her
shame. There was no way she would sleep tonight.


Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 11, 1995 - 6 AM


She entered her bedroom to check on him. He was still sleeping,
peacefully, so she went to his jeans to retrieve his weapon. She had
decided to have it analysed to help clear his name. She'd had time to
reflect upon their situation and she had decided to concentrate on
their investigation. There would be plenty of time, after finding his
father's murderer, to talk out their behaviour the night before.

She left the apartment with purpose. Special Agent Scully was in
charge.


Chapter 9


Margaret Scully's Residence - April 17, 1995


Scully had been walking for two hours, she felt lost and she had
even pulled her shoes off because they had begun to hurt. The events
of the last five days were rolling around in her head; discovering
the drugged water in Mulder's building, shooting him to stop him from
killing Krycek, running away with him to New Mexico, discovering her
name in the MJ files and finally, Mulder missing, presumed dead. It
was all a living nightmare and to top it all off she had just been
suspended from the Bureau.

She was crying from shame and distress. She had lost her partner and
her job. Just five days ago, she had made love to him while he was
drugged and probably not fully conscious of his actions. She didn't
get the chance to explain what had happened to him and confess her
true feelings. Now out of a job, she wouldn't have the means to find
out who was responsible for his murder.

She finally arrived at her mother's front door and rang the bell,
still holding her shoes, and with tears streaming down her face.
Margaret Scully opened up the door to her dishevelled daughter and
gasped at the sight before her.

"Dana, what...?"

"Hi mom."

"What did you do with your shoes?"

"They, uh, they started to give me blisters, so..."

"You walked here at this time of night?" Maggie asked, dumfounded
and worried at the same time.

Scully started to weep uncontrollably and hugged her mother tightly.

"Oh mom, I've made a terrible mistake..Dad would be so 
ashamed of me."

Margaret steered her daughter inside her house. Dana was crying so
hard that it broke her heart. Dana seldom cried. She had always been
the strongest of her two girls, but this time her walls had crumbled
and the waterworks were unstoppable.


Margaret Scully's Residence - Later the same evening


Scully had released all the emotions she had been holding in since
she had discovered the boxcar on fire, and eventually. fell into an
exhausted sleep in her old bedroom. Maggie had asked Melissa to come
over, feeling, that her baby daughter would open up more easily to
her sister.

There was still a kind of distance between Dana and Maggie. It was a
residual effect of Maggie's depression after her husband's death.
Mother and daughter had stayed emotionally estranged for a while and
the trust hadn't returned completely yet.  Missy and Dana had always
been close and, since Dana's abduction, the two sisters had become
even closer. Dana needed someone to talk to but she wasn't very good
at opening up to others. Her friends had all married and started
families of their own, while Dana had taken a different route and
given her all to building her career at the FBI.   Maggie just hoped
that Melissa could get through to Dana and help her open up.

Scully was back in the white room. She was restrained and couldn't
move. Her legs were strapped in stirrups and wide open as if she was
being examined by an Ob-Gyn. She could see two people dressed in
scrubs, talking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying.

She experienced a sudden feeling as if her stomach was being torn
from inside. She fought wave after wave of pain. It was worse than
any stomach ache she had ever felt, the pain stopped for a minute and
then came back with a vengeance. There seemed to be some sort of
pattern to the pain but she couldn't identify what it was. A sudden
realisation came to her, but it was impossible. It couldn't be.  The
pain engulfed her again and she couldn't concentrate on her symptoms
any longer. She attempted to ride out the waves but it was all too
much, and she was unable to determine the origin of the faint mewling
she heard just before her world faded to black.

Melissa went upstairs to check on her sister and opened the bedroom
door. Dana was thrashing wildly in her bed, clearly having a
nightmare. Missy cautiously approached her sister and tried to bring
her round gently, whispering reassurances. After a few moments, Dana
opened her eyes and started in panic, but on recognizing her sister
she relaxed back on the bed and let Missy embrace her.

After a while, Melissa broke the silence.

"What's wrong, Dane? Mom called me. She said you were upset and
crying."

Scully took a deep, cleansing breath. She needed to talk, to get the
pain and shame out of her system, and she trusted her sister.

"He's dead, Missy, Mulder's dead." She blurted out.

"What?! How?!"

"He died in a fire, the worst thing that could have happened to him.
He was terrified of fire and now he's dead. He's never going to know
how sorry I am."

"Sorry for what, Dana? I'm sure you did all you could."

"It's not that.." she said clearly embarrassed. " I took advantage of
him when he was ill and..."

"Whoaaa, stop a minute Dana! Why don't you start at the beginning,
huh?"

"Mulder's father was killed at his home, in Martha's vineyard.
Mulder was there but never got to see the killer. He came to me after
discovering his father's dead body. He was covered in his father's
blood and, obviously, not well. I helped him to my bedroom and
undressed him. In his feverish haze, he..reacted to me and I admit I
was reacting too..so we.." She blushed profusely, unable to go on.

"You what?" Missy encouraged.

"We had sex, again."

"So what's wrong with that?"

"He wasn't really himself at the time and I never got to tell him
how sorry and ashamed I felt. Now, he's dead and he'll never know."

"He'll never know that you love him? That's what's bothering you so
much, isn't it?"

"Yes."she whispered, her face full of remorse and pain.

Melissa couldn't believe that Mulder was dead. She could still feel
his powerful aura, as if he was here in the room with her and Dana.
She believed in the afterlife but it didn't feel like he was there.
She felt the indestructible bond that her sister had with Mulder, and
this link would have disappeared if the man were dead. She didn't
want to burden Dana with her beliefs right now. Her sister needed to
know that her love for Mulder was mutual, but it wasn't her place to
tell her.  Mulder and Dana were made for each other but they were
either too proud or too blind to admit it. Melissa embraced her
sister tightly and they stayed that way for a long time. It was the
calm before the storm but neither of them knew it.

After a while, Scully disentangled herself from her sister and
attempted to regain her composure. She had to find the courage to
fight and to take down the men responsible for Mulder's death.  He
deserved to be avenged and she wanted to clear his name, and hers,
from the accusations against them. She wouldn't let his reputation be
sullied any further by false assumptions. 

Melissa felt the change in her sister immediately. Special Agent
Dana Scully was back in charge and she was glad that some things
never changed. Her baby sister was all courage and strong will and
Melissa was sure that she would be reunited with the man she loved.



Chapter 10

Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - April 21, 1995


Dana Scully was numb. Her life had been turned upside down in a few
short days and she was just beginning to process everything that had
happened since she had talked to Melissa for the last time. She had,
unsuccessfully, attempted hypno-regression to try to uncover her
memories from her abduction. She'd dreamt of Mulder and he'd told her
not to give up as he would be back soon. She had attended William
Mulder's funeral, met Mrs Mulder, and told her that her son would
come back soon. At the funeral, she had been approached by a man who
told her that someone she knew would try to kill her. She had
instantly suspected Skinner and had confronted him but, before the
situation got out of hand, Mulder had burst in and taken her to the
Gunmen's lair to trace the whereabouts of a factory in Virginia. It
was at the Gunmen's lair that she found out that Melissa had been
mistaken for her, and shot in her apartment.  Her first instinct was
to run to her sister's bedside but Mulder persuaded her to wait as it
wasn't safe.

She would never forgive herself for listening to Mulder and staying
away when Melissa needed her. Melissa had died and she never got the
chance to say goodbye, to say how sorry she was. She was determined
to find her sister's murderer. She wanted answers and justice. She
needed to do this one last thing for her only sister. She needed to
grieve.

Sitting in the darkness of her apartment, Scully tried to make sense
of what had happened but it was all too much. She was overcome with
grief, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Finally, it all got too
much for her, the dam broke and she let go. She clutched a cushion to
her and let the tears fall, not registering Mulder kneeling beside
her. He didn't know how to act around a crying Scully. He seldom saw
her cry and therefore wasn't sure how to comfort her.

He took her cold hands in his and tried to bring her back, to let
her know he was there for her. Her watery eyes watched him without
really seeing. He rocked her tenderly, kissing her hair occasionally
and whispering words of comfort. 

After a while, she stopped crying and fell limp against him. She was
tired from the grief and all the tears she had shed. She couldn't cry
any more and her soul was surrounded by a black mist. Her sister was
dead. It would be a long time before she could sort through her
feelings. Melissa had been her confidant, and now she was alone. Deep
down, she knew she wasn't truly alone because Mulder was there and
would always be her friend, but she would have to manage her
conflicting feelings about him all by herself now. She was scared she
would damage their relationship beyond repair, if Missy wasn't there
to guide her.

Mulder touched her cheek softly to get her attention. She raised her
watery gaze to him. Her eyes were red and puffy, and trails of tears
had marked her face. She was a wreck and he wanted so much to comfort
her. Without thinking, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her
gently. It was meant to be a chaste kiss just to reassure and comfort
her but it soon got out of hand.

His tongue was granted entrance and the kiss became intense and
primal. He reacquainted himself with her mouth, sucking and licking.
She moaned under his ministrations. Their hands clutched at clothes
and the story began to repeat itself: They were suffering and they
could find solace in a physical encounter, but her brain wasn't
fogged to the point of not realising that it was wrong. She didn't
know how she found the strength to disentangle herself from his
warmth but she did it, standing abruptly and leaving Mulder sitting
in a state of shock.

She didn't want to be weak and respond to his charm, as she had done
twice already. She needed to put an end to their accidental physical
encounters.  She had felt his raging hard-on poking at her thigh.
Mulder was a very sensual being and she knew that she had to be
strong for both of them, all over again.  She tried to regain her
composure and put her Agent Scully persona back in place. She was
finally under control again when she said:

"We can't do this anymore, Mulder. It's wrong."

"Why is it wrong?" He answered, irritated.

"We decided *together* that it was not the time or place to start a
relationship, but we keep on doing it!"

"Scully.." 

"You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?"

She tried not to falter this time. He deserved the truth. He
deserved to know her dirty little secret, even if it meant losing him
forever. She couldn't keep it to herself any longer.

"The night your father died, you came here. You were drugged and I
let you sleep in my bed.  When I tried to help you take some
medication, you reacted to me..you became aroused and I must
admit..that I did too."

She stopped to gather her courage and went on:

"You grabbed me and we kissed. I wasn't able to stop you." She said
bluntly.

He gasped at the revelation and lowered his head.

"I raped you?" He whispered.

She put her hand on his shoulder to get his complete attention.

"No! I didn't want to stop you, Mulder. I wanted you too, I needed
you and I didn't stop you. I knew you were ill and weren't really in
control of your actions. I took advantage of you.  I'm the *guilty*
one!"

This time, it was she who couldn't hold his gaze. She felt so
embarrassed by her actions on that fateful night but she needed to
clear the air. They needed to start over on a good basis.

"I thought I'd dreamt it,"he said, dazed. "I kept on remembering
making love to you in your bedroom. I thought it was just a fantasy."

"It was real, Mulder, but it can't happen again."

Her words hurt him deeply. He loved her so much and had fought so
hard against death to come back to her. Now here they were, after her
sister's death, talking about something that couldn't happen. He
wanted it to happen. His spiritual journey in the Blessing Way had
changed him, grounded him. He now understood how important his
relationship with Scully was and that, no matter what, he would
always love her. He was ready to cross the line but she wasn't. 

Her guilt and grief kept her from seeing that her words were causing
him to become introspective. She went on with her admission.

"We can't keep on using grief, sadness or any other torment as an
excuse. We have to stay in control or we will go on meeting like that
and regretting it the next day. I believe there will be a time for
us, Mulder, when we will be able to commit to each other, to have a
real romantic relationship but that time isn't now. We have to stay
focused on our mission and we can't do both."

She stopped when she saw him stand and put his jacket on, realising
that it had been too much, too soon. The grief caused by her sister's
death had rendered her too direct and she realised too late the
damage she had done to Mulder's fragile psyche.

"You're right, Scully. We have to stay focused. I think that by
being your partner, I can cover that part of the bargain but please
don't ask for more. You know how I feel. You know where I live. When
you are ready. If someday you are ready.." he paused to take a deep
breath "but Scully, I won't wait an eternity.."
 he finished, angrily.

He left her in the middle of her living room, their bond severely
damaged by the events of the last few days. A tear rolled down her
cheek. Their friendship was in jeopardy again and she didn't know if
they would ever get it back on track. She fell to her knees and began
to cry in earnest, mourning not only the loss of her sister but also
her friend and lover.


Chapter 11


Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - October 13, 1995


Six months later, Mulder knew that his relationship with Scully was
still severely damaged.  He still held the hope that they would be
able to mend their friendship, but he couldn't forget that *he* left
Scully that fateful night in April just after her sister had died,
and just after she had made her unexpected confession.

Their work hadn't helped to bring them closer together. Scully was
more determined to fight him on all his theories, and sometimes it
really hurt that she could disregard his theories with one single
word; like during the Lucy Householder case when Scully refused to
believe in the possibility of a mental link between the two girls.
The case had hit too close to home and he knew his judgement had been
clouded, but he had felt a real empathy with Lucy and her suffering,
whilst Scully had been her cold and scientific self. That hurt.

He'd had a change of heart during their last case involving Kevin
Kryder, who had cuts in his hands and feet. Scully had believed it
was stigmata and, although he didn't share her religious beliefs, it
had been the turning point. Mulder had finally realised that Scully's
belief system was built on only what her world of Science and
Religion had taught her, just as his own beliefs were based on his
own personal experiences. They had both made mistakes but it was time
to forgive and start again.

He jumped when he heard a key turning in his lock. He grabbed his
weapon and waited for the assailant to enter his apartment. The door
opened and Scully entered.

"God Mulder, you sure know how to make a girl feel special!" She
snorted.

"Your mother never told you to knock before entering?" He answered,
putting his weapon down on the coffee table.

"I did. You didn't answer. I was starting to think that you were
trying to avoid me."

"Sorry, I didn't hear you.  I was lost in thought."

His serious expression stopped her from commenting. She had come
over to call a truce, deciding to use his birthday as an excuse to
try to close the gap between them.  She sat down on his couch and
watched him; he was clearly bothered by something and she hoped that
he would allow himself to open up to her and talk about it. 

"What's wrong, Mulder?" 

He raised his head and lost himself in her intoxicating blue eyes. 
They were the purest blue he had ever seen and, for the first time in
six months, they were devoid of pain. She was moving on and he
understood that it was time to move with her.

"I was thinking about Kevin Kryder. I wasn't as open to extreme
possibilities with his case." 

"I think that my Catholic background made me more empathetic to
Kevin. My faith in God has molded my personality since childhood, in
the same way your paranormal beliefs have for you."

"I am supposed to be the one who believes in anything, but in this
case I just can't. I can't believe that God would manifest himself in
a child to get an evil man arrested. I can't believe because then it
would mean that if someone missed the signs, evil would go on
undetected. I can't accept the unfairness of that." He admitted.

"Oh Mulder...It doesn't work like that. I think that God talks to us
when we are too blind to see the truth. It can seem unfair, but God
has His way and I don't think we're meant to understand."

"How can you accept that at face value when you won't believe in the
paranormal?" He said half amused.

"Because it's who I am, Mulder. I don't expect you to understand my
faith. I just need you to respect it as I respect your faith in your
quest, in your work and in all things paranormal."

He didn't know how to respond. She was right and there were no good
arguments against that. He took a deep breath and prepared to broach
the subject that was really bothering him most.

"Scully, are we still friends?" He blurted out.

She didn't answer immediately. She took her time, examining his eyes
and their brightness. He was sincere, she could tell, and she needed
to be truthful too. She grabbed his hand and smiled sincerely.

"I am your friend if you still want me to be."

"I've never had a friend like you..and I've come to realise that I
can't go on without you. You are the only one who cares enough to
tell me when I need to get my shit together, Scully. I've never been
used to that and I'm not used to having someone care about me."

His heartfelt confession touched her deeply. She knew Mulder had
been burnt by previous relationships, on several occasions, and
because of these experiences he was having a hard time allowing her
to get too close. This knowledge only made her more determined to
convince him that she belonged beside him as his friend and partner.
The road wouldn't be easy but she needed to try; he was worth the
effort. 

"Well then, you better get used to it because I plan on sticking
around and kicking your ass when necessary."

She paused a moment and picked up the bag she'd brought, handing him
a beautifully wrapped package. She saw glee in his eyes. He was like
a little kid because she had remembered his birthday and bought him a
present.

"Friends are here to remind you that you are growing old Mulder. 34
is a good number."

"Yeah right! Oh, thanks for the present, Scully. I'm really touched."

"Open it before you thank me."

He tore the package open and her present brought tears to his eyes.
She had given him a beautiful handmade carved picture frame.  He had
no idea how, but she had already placed a picture of Samantha in it.
Fat tears fell on his cheeks. She took his face in both her hands and
wiped the wetness away.

"I wanted you to know that I believe that we will find Samantha.
This frame is a reminder to both of us that we are partners, and
together we will find your sister, no matter what. It's our quest now
and we are in this together."

"I want to believe."he whispered, before embracing her tenderly.



Chapter 12


Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - January 30, 1996


Dark clouds were obscuring Mulder's and Scully's horizon once again.
In the 3 months since Mulder's birthday, they had finally got their
friendship back on track but, unfortunately, the respite didn't last
long. The troubles began with an investigation in Comity. They had
both been hurt by each other's irrational behaviour, and Mulder's
flirting with Detective White had inflamed Scully's jealousy. 

Things got even worse on the next case. Bill Patterson asked for
Mulder's help catching a serial killer. Profiling had transformed
Mulder in a way that Scully had never seen and, after just one day,
he closed himself off from everything and everyone and started his
descent into the mind of a mad man. He didn't sleep, eat or change
clothes. He was becoming the monster he was trying to capture and
Scully had been very worried about it.  Scully understood why he had
kept his distance from her. Mulder knew what happened to him when he
profiled, and didn't want to hurt her.  He wanted to protect her from
the madness inside him.

It had been two days since she had last seen him and Scully was
worried.  She knew perfectly well that he wouldn't ask for her help
so she decided to go to him.  After waiting for a good five minutes
outside his apartment for him to answer her knocks, she opened the
door with her key. What she saw inside took her completely by
surprise. The apartment was cleaner than she had ever seen it. The
drawings had disappeared, the shades had been opened, and there
wasn't a thing out of place. 

"Mulder?" She called.

Receiving no answer, she opened the door to what she assumed was
originally the bedroom, and made another important discovery: Mulder
did have a bed and matching mahogany furniture. This room was clean
too but there was still no trace of her partner.

Listening intently, she heard the sound of water running and quickly
made her way to the bathroom, images of Mulder with his veins cut
open by a razor running through her mind. Fortunately, it wasn't the
sight that welcomed her. He was in the shower scrubbing at his body
as if nothing could ever get him clean. The hot water was hitting his
already red skin full force. She had to stop him, to reassure him
that he wasn't dirty. He had stopped the killer.

She opened the shower curtain and shut off the water. Mulder didn't
make a move to stop her, didn't even seem register her presence, he
just kept on scrubbing. She grabbed a towel and tried to rouse him
out of his funk, calling to him gently.

"Mulder, it's me."

There was no response so she started drying his back. He finally
stopped his scrubbing and opened his eyes. 

He turned around, giving her an eyeful of his beautiful naked body.
He blinked a few times before realising that it was Scully, and then
reality came crashing in. He took the towel from her hand, suddenly
ashamed that she had found him like that. Goosebumps were appearing
on his skin, so he started to dry himself under her unrelenting
scrutiny. She wouldn't let go, wouldn't let him be, until she knew
for sure that he was okay. 

He wrapped the towel round his hips, trying to regain a little
modesty, and got out of the shower stall, walking to his bedroom. 
She followed him, but he kept his back to her trying to block her out
of his mind.

"Why do you put yourself through this, Mulder?" She asked finally.

He lowered his head and answered, flatly.

"Because it's what I do. I'm a profiler."

"And a good one. It wasn't what I asked you. Why do you have to stay
alone and suffer? Why shut me out when I could help you?"

"I don't want you to see me like that. I'm dangerous when I profile.
It takes time after each case to get my sanity back.  I don't want to
hurt you."

She approached him and carefully put her hand on his right shoulder.
He turned around, and what she saw in his eyes shook her to the core.
There was so much suffering. He believed he was a monster and not
worthy of anybody's help. She decided that she would do whatever it
took to convince him otherwise. He had been there for her in her
darkest hours, after her ordeal with Pfaster, and now she wanted to
be there for him. 

She engulfed him in her arms, ignoring his reluctance to make
contact with her. She started to caress his back gently to give him
some comfort. After a few moments he relaxed into her embrace and
returned it.

She continued with her caress, wanting to assure him that he wasn't
dirty, that he was worth her love. They finally separated a little,
still in each other's arms. His face was still bearing the strain of
his latest bout of profiling. She looked him straight in the eye.

"Mulder, I don't think you'd never hurt me intentionally. I know who
you are. I know what lives in that heart of yours. You are just a
man, with a wonderful talent; a talent that has allowed the FBI to
arrest countless killers and psychopaths. You gave all you had to
find the killer and you did it, Mulder.  You got the bad guy.  There
is no doubt."

He wasn't convinced that it was a gift to be able to drown in a mad
man's psyche, but Scully was right; he had helped his country to get
rid of evil men.  He needed to keep that in mind.
 
She indicated the bed and they sat down, hip to hip. She took his
hand in hers and noticed that he was starting to warm up. He turned
to her and their gazes caught, his eyes dark and full of want. He
wasn't in any shape to keep a tight rein on his feelings for her. The
evil was still hiding away in the depths of his soul and it would
take time to get rid of the darkness. 

She couldn't help but be aroused by the raw hunger she saw in him. 
Her heart rate sped up when he lowered his mouth to hers and their
lips clashed together. She opened her mouth to his insistent tongue
and moaned loudly. It felt so good to kiss him again. They had
resisted their mutual attraction for such a long time but it seemed
that it couldn't be restrained any longer.

His tongue invaded the deep recesses of her mouth, caressing her
gums and her teeth. His hands started to pull at her clothing and he
quickly divested her of her jacket and blouse. She let go of his
mouth to pull the towel away from his hips, freeing his hard-on. He
was fully erect and glistening. She took him in hand and he hissed
when she started to stroke him. 

"Scullee..it will be over too soon if you go on that that." 

"You need it..you want me to get down on my knees and suck you..
you
want it.." she purred, feeling bold.

"No.."

Before he could protest any further she knelt and engulfed him in
her hot little mouth. 

"Yesssssss."he moaned this time.

It wasn't about her, it was about Mulder. She wanted to give him
this, to show him he was worth it. He needed this release, needed it
to help rid himself of the darkness inside him. She tried to bury her
feelings and not think about how good it was to have him in her mouth
and to pleasure him that way. It was one of her wildest fantasies:
taking care of a naked Mulder with her mouth while she was still half
dressed.

She carried on with her ministrations; in and out, in and out. She
caressed his tight balls and his head started to thrash on the bed.
She could feel him getting closer to release and she sped up her
movements. His moans increased in volume until he came in her mouth.
She kept him inside until he was spent, then gently sucked and licked
him clean. 

When she released him, he was back to half mast already. She stood
and watched Mulder lying on the bed trying to remember how to
breathe. She lay down next to him, kissed his brow gently, and
caressed his cheek with tenderness. With these simple gestures, she
was trying to convey to him that they didn't have to regret what had
just happened. She didn't want to. She knew that it was just a matter
of time now before they would be in sync with each other and able to
admit their feelings freely. She felt it deep down in her soul. They
were both healing and once the healing was done, they might finally
be ready to take the next step, together. 

"Rest, Mulder..I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, before falling
in to a deep slumber curled up against him.


Chapter 13


Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - February 14, 1996


They had just got back from the cemetery. Her last sentence to him
was still ringing in his head.

"I think the dead are speaking to us Mulder, demanding justice.
Maybe that man was right. Maybe we bury the dead alive."

She had been so shaken by the fact that Melissa's murderer would
never be brought to justice. Justice was important to her and he
could understand that she, and her family, would never be able to
find closure for Missy's murder because the culprit would never be
punished in the eyes of the law.

It was Valentine's Day and he had made a reservation in a romantic
Italian restaurant near her apartment. He had planned to take her on
their first real date on this special day, a day meant for lovers,
but he wasn't sure that she was in the mood for a romantic and
carefree dinner with her best friend.

Their relationship was slowly changing. After his horrible descent
into the soul of a mad man, they had embarked on what others would
call a sexual encounter but, to Mulder, was more than that. She had
shown him that he was worth loving and that she was ready to move
their relationship forward. For once, they didn't delude themselves
by pretending it never happened.  There was no room for regret this
time, and they had fallen asleep together afterwards.  When he woke
up alone, he found a note telling him that she'd be back with
breakfast and to wait for her. 

Now, two weeks later, their relationship was still comfortable.
Mulder smiled, thinking about how he would never have imagined that a
blow job would have jumpstarted their rocky relationship. As yet,
they hadn't resumed their physical relationship; there seemed to be
an unspoken agreement to take things slowly.  They were doing more
non-work things together, going to the movies, having dinner.  If
someone had told him that he we was going to be dating like a
teenager again he would have laughed, but he was loving every minute
of it.

He joined her in the kitchen, where she was meant to be making tea.
She was gripping the kitchen counter and her shoulders were shaking.
He went to her immediately and engulfed her in his arms, from behind.
She let go of the counter, turned around, and buried her face in his
chest.

She cried silently while he rocked her. He was searching for words
to comfort her but he knew that there was nothing that could take
away the pain and the grief, except punishing Missy's murderer.  As
he stood holding her in his arms, while she shed her tears, it
suddenly hit him how big a step they had actually taken. Scully was
letting him in, allowing him to see her pain. She no longer tried to
hide or to deflect his help with her usual "I'm fine".  He caressed
her back slowly, trying to calm her the only way he knew how.

Her sobs calmed down and she sniffed loudly, raising her tearful
face to his. He wiped the wetness from her cheeks and kissed her
eyelids, gently. 

"Feeling any better, now?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice to answer. Crying did help her.
She needed to let go of the grief that overwhelmed her after
discovering that there would never be a court case.

He steered her to the living room and they sat down together on the
white and blue striped couch that held the memory of their first
time. He remained silent while Scully got her bearings back. 

"I miss her so much," she whispered.

"I know but she is still in your heart and in your memories.  I'm
sure Melissa is watching over you," he answered.

"She would have loved to hear you say that. She believed in almost
everything. You remind me of her sometimes." She smiled.

"She didn't think so. She thought I was pathetic and heartless." 

"Missy saw right through us. She knew that something had happened
between us and confronted me after I left the hospital."

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her the truth."

He gasped. He was sure that she had never confided in anyone. He had
been so wrong. Her bond with Melissa had been far tighter that he had
thought. The two sisters had been confidants. No wonder Scully had
been so closed off after Melissa's death, she must have felt truly
alone for the first time. That explained why she'd rejected him when
he had attempted to comfort her, she hadn't wanted to lose the only
friend she still had left. 

"What did she say?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"She said that we were meant for each other. She asked me to believe
in her and that auras never lied."

"Wow!"

"I didn't believe her, Mulder. I was sure we were doomed to fail. I
was still recovering and couldn't remember what had happened to me. I
should have believed her.  She was right, we are meant to be." She
admitted with conviction.

It was an admission he would never forget for as long as he lived.
She was accepting the fact that they should be together in a personal
relationship. It would never be easy, their work would always be in
the way, but it was worth a try and he was 
determined to make it work.

She was waiting for his reaction. She knew that her admission was
starting to penetrate his mind. She was ready to take the next step.
Her sister had never had the chance to meet the man of her dreams,
and Scully didn't want to die without knowing love, her true love.
She smiled at him and realised that for the first time since losing
Melissa she felt at peace. Accepting the truth about Mulder and
herself was a tribute to Melissa's beliefs and would be the only
justice she would ever get.

Mulder broke her from her deep thoughts by asking:

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"I didn't have the chance to go grocery shopping." she stated.

"Do you know what day it is?"

She was puzzled now and tried to work it out: It wasn't an
anniversary, it wasn't his birthday, it wasn't hers. Then it hit her
and she blushed. He registered her reaction and looked at her smugly.

"You actually remembered Valentine's Day, Mulder? I am impressed."

"I made reservations," he said, assuming a false hurt look.

"There's hope after all."

"So what do you say to you and me eating some of Italy's finest
dishes?"

"It's an offer I can't refuse..."

"So you'll be my Valentine?"

"Always." She answered tenderly.


Chapter 14 


Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - March 5, 1996


Mulder and Scully had just closed a case in rural Idaho. Accepting
the case hadn't been Scully's idea, but she had needed to get Mulder
out of his newest guilt trip.  She agreed to go with him to check out
the disappearance of several cows, hoping that it would cheer him up.

It hadn't worked. Mulder hadn't cheered up. He was still brooding
over his actions whilst under Modell's mental influence. He'd had her
at gun point for a moment in that dreadful hospital room and he
couldn't forgive himself for that. He had kept his distance from her
since the incident two weeks ago and she missed his embrace, his
tender kisses, and even his jokes. She missed him.

Tomorrow, they would celebrate their fourth year as partners and she
had hoped that they could take another step in their personal
relationship. She felt ready, more than ready. The truth was that she
had been feeling horny since their romantic dinner on Valentine's
Day. He had been the perfect gentleman, taking her back home and
kissing her tenderly on the lips before saying goodnight and going
back to his dark and lonely apartment. 

The atmosphere between them was becoming electric and sexually
charged, and she knew that they needed to do something before they
imploded from it. 

Upon returning home from the case, she had soaked in a bubble bath
and changed into her blue silk pj's. She was now sitting comfortably
on her bed, reading a medical journal, while waiting for Mulder. He
was out hunting for their dinner at the nearest Chinese restaurant.
She planned to seduce him tonight and hoped he was in good shape
because there wouldn't be much sleep involved in this bed tonight.

He knocked at the door, not daring to enter without being invited.
She rolled her eyes at his manners. He could be as cute as he was
irritating sometimes.

"It's open, Mulder!"

He entered the apartment, his hands full of Chinese take-out. He put
all the containers on the coffee table and pulled his leather jacket
off. He had changed into jeans and tee shirt. He always wore casual
clothes when they were off the clock and she'd come to appreciate it
because it meant that he wasn't trying to act differently now that
they were closer. 

She got off the bed and joined him in the living room. He turned to
her and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, which were still full
of pain and guilt. The look on her face when he had pointed his gun
at her would be ingrained in his memory for as long as he would live.
It was a living nightmare for him and he couldn't get away from the
fact that he could have killed her.

She wanted to erase the painful memories. She cradled his cheeks
between her hands and lowered his head to hers. She kissed him
gently, then released his lips and looked him straight in his hazel
eyes.

"I'm alive, Mulder. You didn't pull the trigger."

He closed his eyes, the scene replaying itself in slow motion.
Modell was in his head, pushing him. "Come on. Pull the trigger,
Mulder. She shot you, I read it in her files. Payback time... shoot
the little spy!." He could still hear the mantra. He could still see
the tears running down Scully's cheeks.

"You were afraid of me.. you were crying," he whispered.

"I cried because of what he was doing to you Mulder. I didn't fear
for myself. I was afraid for *you*." She admitted.

He opened his eyes and tried to read her expression. She was telling
the truth. During the confrontation, she hadn't thought about herself
or the possibility that he could pull the trigger and kill her. She
was only thinking about his life and the nagging fear that Modell
would succeed in coercing Mulder to use his weapon against himself.
She had been in hell during that time, trying to find a way to save
him from the mad man inside his head.

"Scully, I was about to *kill* you and you were worried about me?"

"I knew you couldn't shoot me. You fought against it with all your
might. You didn't fight it when you pointed your gun at your own
temple, you didn't flinch, it was like you felt nothing. I was
terrified Mulder."

"I was too. I still am." He admitted. "I would have killed myself
without blinking if it meant you would be safe."

"I know and I would have done the same."

She embraced him and held him tight against her, listening to his
breathing and to his heartbeat. She had been taken aback by the fact
that he'd been able to put a gun to his own head and pull the
trigger. She suspected that he had previously tried to put an end to
his own misery because the gesture had seemed to come easily to him.

They stayed entwined for a while, taking solace in each other's
arms. He was rocking her gently, kissing her hair and holding her
tight. She was his rock. Her strength gave him the courage to fight
the monsters and to go on searching for his little sister. She gave
him the strength to believe that he could somehow grab some happiness
for himself.

They separated when she felt he was relaxed enough to be let go. He
smiled at her, his eyes shining with love and gratitude. They sat
down in sync on her couch and dug into the various containers. Their
dinner was spent in comfortable silence and in feeding each other
pieces of chicken and rice, the playfulness relaxing Mulder. He
wasn't thinking about Modell anymore, only about Scully's delicious
mouth. It was delightful to watch her suck the pieces of meat and
moan while munching slowly on it.

This woman was a tease and he suspected that she had something
planned for both of them tonight. He wasn't sure if it wasn't too
much too soon. They needed to tread lightly and ensure that each step
they took still enabled them to keep their personal and professional
lives separate.

He didn't want to fail in loving Scully. He knew that she was the
one and only and he wanted to court her. He wanted a normal life for
them because their job never gave them that. He wanted to make out
like teenagers on her couch, in the car, in the theatre. Scully
seemed ready to bed him tonight and she was making him hornier than
he ever thought possible.

She put the food down and straddled his lap, giving him an eyeful of
her cleavage. She was flushed and breathing quickly. 

"Scully..what are you doing?" he asked dumbly.

"I must not be doing it correctly if you have to ask," she purred,
while starting to rub her core against his erection.

He was already at half mast and if she carried on he would soon
sport a hard-on the size of California. 

Her nipples were erect, her panties were soaking wet, and she felt
her labia starting to swell.

"Sculleee..what became of taking it slow?" he hissed, trying to
deflect her from her goal.

"Four years is enough. I flushed the "slow part" this morning with
my doubts and my insecurities. I love you, Mulder and I want you.
There will never be a more perfect moment.. I don't want to wait."

She stopped moving and watched his reactions. He was gaping at her
revelation. She was in love with him and she wasn't planning to wait
forever to have him. His eyes filled with tears and he smiled
lovingly at her.

"I love you too, Scully..love you so much it hurts sometimes, but I
want to give you a normal relationship with dates, stolen kisses in a
dark corner at work, and make out sessions. Then I want to sweep you
off your feet and make sweet love to you after a romantic candlelit
dinner.."

She put a finger to his lips to hush him.

"You're the sweetest man I've ever met, but I don't need all that to
know that you care for me. We'll do normal things like kissing in
dark corners or maybe a quickie in the basement, kissing in the car,
making out.."

He gasped, imagining Scully lying down on his desk, her skirt
bunched up to her waist and without panties. She had won. He didn't
want to wait anymore if it meant he could ravish 
her in the basement! 

She was starting to savour her victory when his cellphone rang,
instantly killing the mood. They knew that it meant work and that
their evening was finished. He smiled regretfully and kissed her on
the mouth whispering "raincheck" before answering. 

She watched him speak to their AD, his playfulness slowly fading to
give way to Agent Mulder. Their evening was definitely over and she
donned her Agent Scully persona in place of Dana, the lover.


Chapter 15 


Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - March 15, 1996


Mulder was nervously checking his bedroom one last time. Scully was
taking a well earned shower after spending eight hours straight on a
stakeout. AD Skinner had saved them from another day in a car by
ordering them to take some mandatory downtime, so they officially had
three days for themselves and headed straight to his apartment.

Since their evening at Scully's apartment, ten days ago, they hadn't
had a moment for themselves. They'd had back-to-back cases; saving
Skinner's ass from being accused of a prostitute's murder, fighting
wildcats in a sewer, the sale of human organs in Chinatown, and being
stranded on a rock while searching for Big Blue in Heuvelmans Lake.
Two days ago, they had been requisitioned by the VCU to watch a
building where a convicted murderer may be hiding. Their stakeout had
produced nothing and they were feeling frustrated.

They needed to spend some quality time together and to resume their
relationship where they had left off ten days ago. They were both on
the edge with horniness. Their bodies needed release. Their hearts
wanted love.

They headed straight to Mulder's apartment just after Skinner's
assistant, Kimberly Cook, had called them and told them to stop
working, effective immediately. Scully had run to the bathroom to
have her shower while Mulder straightened out his bedroom. He had
changed the bedclothes and put away the laundry baskets. He had
gotten rid of his suit, his dress shirt and his boxers and was now
naked as the day he was born. He went to the bathroom door and opened
it. She was still in the shower and he didn't hesitate in joining
her. 

She turned around and smiled seductively at him.

"What took you so long?" she purred "I was going to start without
you."

Her hands travelled from her chest to her belly. He couldn't speak,
taken under her spell. She was beautiful; her breasts were full and
high on her chest; her erect nipples begging to be fondled. He
lowered his hungry eyes to the thick patch of red curls at the apex
of her thighs. He'd never had the opportunity to return the great
oral session she gave him after his encounter with Patterson and he
thought that today was the day.

His penis, already at half mast when he entered the shower stall,
was now at full glory and poking at her belly. He caught her hand and
stopped her from touching herself, encircling her in his arms and
lowering his mouth to hers. There was nothing chaste in this kiss.
Their tongues clashed in a battle for control. They sucked, nipped
and kissed for a long, leisurely time while their bodies rubbed
against each other's, inflaming their already on edge senses.

He released her mouth to catch his breath and observe her aroused
face. It was the sexiest sight he had ever seen. She was flushed and
her pupils were dilated. The water was cascading over her and she was
like a water goddess, coming out from under a waterfall.

He reached behind her to shut off the tap and then helped her out.
They dried themselves quickly and left the bathroom. 

They felt as if time had stopped just to give them the chance to
resume their relationship. They had admitted their love for each
other, and now it was time to act on their feelings by the merging of
their bodies. 

The morning sun was softly filtering through the blind. They could
hear the hum of the traffic, people going to work as usual. The world
was still turning on its axis and it wouldn't change if Mulder and
Scully took the final step to intimacy.

He knelt before her and she sat down on the bed, opening her legs,
inviting him to make her his. He kissed a path from her neck to her
breasts. He stopped and took one engorged nipple in his mouth and
sucked at it. She put her hands in his silky brown hair and her head
fell back on her shoulders from pleasure. 

He alternated between the two erect nipples, taking his time
pleasuring each of them. Then he travelled down to her red curls. Her
legs were wide open and he could see the wetness gushing from her.
She was aroused and moaning from anticipation. She knew what came
next and her body was reacting accordingly.

He slowly inched his mouth toward his ultimate goal but changed
angle at the last second, kissing the inside of her thighs. She
moaned loudly, aroused and frustrated at the same time. She needed
his tongue on her and he was maddeningly touching her everywhere but
where she wanted him the most. He dipped his fingers into her, then
brought them to his mouth,humming at the tanginess of her essence. It
was more than she could bear and she pleaded: 

"Please, Mulder."

He lowered his mouth between her curls and, after waiting for what
seemed the longest second ever, lapped at her clit, making her purr
like a satisfied kitten. He took the little bud between his lips and
sucked hard. She fell back onto the bed, unable to sit up. She
thrashed wildly when two fingers entered her and started to thrust in
and out, building a rhythm while he went on lapping, sucking and
nipping at her clit.

"Yessss," she moaned. 

She was soon on the brink of orgasm and couldn't keep herself from
thrashing, her breathing totally erratic. 

"Mulderrrr..Yessss!" She cried out as she came.

Her muscles tightened around his fingers and her clit pulsed. He
pulled his fingers out and gave a last sweep of her nub with his
tongue, then lay down next to her on the bed. Her eyes were closed
and she was flying through clouds of pleasure. He thought she was
magnificent in the afterglow of her release.

He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, and her cheeks softly, creating
a path to her lips. Their mouths joined once again gently, taking
their own sweet time. The evidence of his arousal was still poking at
her thigh but he was in no hurry.  He had given her the pleasure he
wanted her to feel and his own release could wait.

She came back to her senses and opened her eyes. They were the
clearest blue, bluer than the sky. He wanted to drown in their
depths, but his lover wasn't ready to let him become all poetic on
her.  She reached over and wrapped the silky skin of his erection in
her hand, stroking lightly, pleased to have had such 
an effect on him.

He didn't think twice. He covered her body with his and she cradled
him between her legs. 

"I love you," he whispered, his erection nudging at her entrance.

"I love you too," she answered, shifting her hips and letting him
slide home.

There were no more words to be said. He started to move inside her,
gently thrusting, building a rhythm, but he couldn't hold back any
more and soon they were moving erratically against each other, their
skin slippery from the exertion.

Their motion became frantic and he slammed into her for all he was
worth. He couldn't hold his release any longer and could tell she was
ready too. They came together loudly, both falling into ecstasy.

Time had slowed down for the two lovers, affording them well
deserved downtime. They fell asleep still entwined in each others
arms. There would be days when it would be hard to reach this level
of happiness again but, for the moment at hand, they were hidden from
the dangers of their jobs and from the men who would probably use
their love against them. 


Chapter 16 


Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - March 15, 1996


They had slept most of the morning and Scully was basking in the
afterglow of their lovemaking. She was happy and sighed contently,
lying back on Mulder's chest, listening to his heartbeat. She knew
that he was awake too, enjoying their peaceful day.

"You are amazing," she purred.

He didn't answer her praise, but kissed her hair softly while he
caressed her back with his fingertips, creating goosebumps in
passing. It felt right to be here together. They had suffered enough
already by repressing their feelings for each other. They'd had
accidental encounters in the past, starting one hopeless night in her
apartment when they both found solace in lovemaking for a moment. It
hadn't been the right time and they'd agreed to forget it. Now the
time was right to hold the woman he loved in his arms, and things
couldn't get any better. They were safe and protected in the cocoon
of their love.

But the happiness she felt couldn't last long. She couldn't help but
worry, and she was trying to gather her thoughts, to explain to him
her fears without hurting his feelings. Their relationship couldn't
be public. She knew that they had to be really careful; it was still
too soon for them to throw caution to the wind.

"Mulder?" she asked, feeling awkward calling him by his last name in
bed, but she couldn't see herself calling him Fox either. 

"Yeah."

"I don't know how to tell you this without making you angry." She
hesitated. 

His hands stilled on her back and his heartbeat quickened. He was
almost certain that this was the part where she told him it was a
mistake but they could stay good friends. He had been a fool to
believe it would ever change between them.

She felt the change in him as his body tensed in her arms and she
decided to take the plunge for both their sakes. They had to move on
and they couldn't if she kept something from him. She raised her head
to look into his eyes, to see what her body told her he felt. She
couldn't bear to see the insecurity reflected in his gaze.

"I do love you; I want you to be sure of that." She stated.

He nodded, not trusting his voice, and waited for the final blow.

"But we have to be really careful and not let anybody in on our
secret..I don't want our relationship used against us 
more that it has
been."

He felt relieved all of a sudden. She didn't want out; she just
wanted their relationship to be kept private. She was afraid for both
of them and he couldn't say that he blamed her, but they were already
on the spot. Their enemies knew what was going on between them and
didn't need any confirmation that they now shared an intimate
relationship. They had to stay careful but he didn't want them to
have to meet in secret and stay guarded all the time. He wouldn't
advertise the turn their friendship had taken, but neither would he
hide what he felt for her.

"We can't hide because They already know. They abducted you because
They knew, before we even realised that we loved each other, that it
was more than friendship. I don't want to live in secret. We can be
discreet, we have to because of the FBI regulations, but that's it. I
won't hide what I feel for you. I can't do it anymore," he told her
fiercely.

"Mulder..it's not that I want to hide you..I want to be able to tell
everybody that I'm in love with you..I want to be with you..I love
you," she whispered against his chest.

"I know, baby, I know. I want to be with you any chance we get.
Every night after work, after finishing a case, in the car, on the
plane and maybe..in the basement, on my desk," he said seductively,
starting to caress her back again and lightening the conversation.

His penis was in full bloom against her belly and she couldn't help
but rub her body against it. Her nipples hardened at the intimate
contact and she raised her mouth to his. The serious topics would
have to wait, their bodies were hungry.

She barely brushed her lips to his at first, but it wasn't enough.
She darted her tongue into his mouth and explored deeper and deeper
while his hands caressed her ass, her back and the sides of her
breasts. They both moaned loudly at the same time. 

They changed position so that they were both on their sides, facing
each other. Their mouths separated and Mulder touched her bruised
lips with his thumb. She caught the digit in her mouth and sucked
hard, making his silken arousal even harder. She sucked at each of
his fingers before letting him go.

He trailed his fingers down her neck, between her breasts, teasing
the tight nipples in passing with his wet fingers, but he didn't
pause there. He was a man on a mission and he wouldn't be deterred.
He reached the apex of her thighs and teased her swollen clitoris
without preamble. She was so wet and so ready for him. He started to
circle the little knot of nerves with the tip of his fingers, keeping
the caress light and soft. She obviously needed more because she
arched her back to reach his hand more fully.

She leaned into the crook of his neck and alternated open mouthed
kisses with light nibbles that made him groan. Her right hand
travelled to his engorged hard-on and she squeezed him before
stroking him from tip to base. It was already too much for him so he
rolled her onto her back. He slid his finger out of her wet core and
propped himself up above her with his hands on either side of her
head. He paused, observing her with eyes that were dark with arousal.
He gazed into her baby blues and read there the endless love she felt
for him.  Then he nudged her thighs further apart and dipped the tip
of his penis into her warm core, just teasing her. She was having
none of that and moved her hips forward so he plunged home.

"Yesssssss," she moaned, enjoying the feeling of his hard length
embedded to the hilt.

He didn't move immediately, trying to calm himself. He was on the
verge of coming and he wanted it to be good for her. He lowered his
mouth to her collarbone and kissed, nipped and sucked the soft skin
there.

She touched his silky hair, trying to help him calm down. Even in
bed, they were reaching an incredible understanding. Their minds,
bodies and souls were in perfect sync.

She was throbbing, needing him to start moving, but she would wait
until his laboured breathing slowed down and his arousal reached a
plateau so he didn't embarrass himself.

He stopped kissing her and began the slow dance of hips and thrusts.
He loved her gently and slowly but she needed more. She tightened her
muscles to pull him further inside and started a counter movement to
hit his pelvis at each thrust. He quickened his pace and began a
steady rhythm: in, out, in, out, in, out.

They moved together effortlessly. He knew instinctively what she
needed to reach her peak. Nobody had ever known her so completely, so
thoroughly. She had bared her inner and intimate self to this man and
she felt free. Free from the rigid education her Catholic parents
imposed on her, free from the no-nonsense Agent Scully persona, free
to be Dana in Mulder's muscular arms, and free to lose control in
order to feel complete.

Mulder came inside her when her muscles spasmed around him. They
surrendered to the wave of heat that enveloped them and rode it out
until their shuddering muscles slowed down. They were both breathless
and sweaty. They exchanged tender kisses and whispered sweet nothings
while their heartbeats slowed down.

Their drowsy eyes met and they smiled at each other, basking in a
moment of pure happiness. They would decide on ground rules later but
now, just now, there was nothing more than two hearts beating in sync
and two lovers who had found solace in each other's arms.

They fell asleep again, heavy limbs entwined and fears put to rest. 


Chapter 17


Scully's Motel Room - Home, Pennsylvania -July 10, 1996


Scully was watching the stars from her motel room window. Mulder was
sound asleep in the queen sized bed and she didn't want to wake him
with her insomnia. The last few months had been eventful both in
their professional and personal lives. It had begun with her bout of
paranoia in Braddock Heights that tested their boundaries. She had
accused him of being with Them and being responsible for her
abduction, and it had taken her days to forgive herself.  She had
disappeared without trace and the police had found a body matching
her description. He'd had to go through an ID procedure at the morgue
because he hadn't known her whereabouts. It had been, so far, his
worst experience after her abduction. Thankfully, it hadn't been her
on the slab and he'd finally found her at her mother's. She'd been
hysterical and it had taken all of Maggie Scully's powers of
persuasion to keep her from firing at him before she collapsed on her
mother's floor.  He had held her for hours after she had been
admitted to the hospital and he had wept silently in her arms. He had
been so scared of losing her forever.

They had spent a week recovering in her apartment and had loved each
other like there was no tomorrow. Their lovemaking had been tender
and wild at the same time, the result being that their relationship
was stronger than ever.

They had kept their involvement under wraps. Mrs Scully hadn't been
told of their sweet secret but she had guessed. Scully was sure of
it; her mother had dropped so many hints to get her to talk when she
was in the hospital. They couldn't confide in their families. It was
too dangerous, so they had stayed low profile since March.

After dealing with Scully's bout of paranoia, Mulder received
another blow when his mom had a stroke. He had discovered that she
knew their nemesis, the smoking man He had also found his sister's
clone in a field in Canada, raising honeybees. He hadn't been able to
get proof of what he'd found there and, as usual, they were left with
nothing. Nonetheless, his mom made a miraculous recovery that no one
was able to explain. He had lost an informant during that case but
found another one, a blond UN representative with legs to her throat.
Scully couldn't help but be jealous of the tall, blond, busty new
informant. 

Their last case had been excruciating. The three Peacock brothers
having an incestuous relationship with their mother, and the old
woman having babies with multiple defects, had left her in a
reflective mood.

"I never saw you as a mother before," Mulder had said and it had
haunted her since. She had nightmares when she saw herself giving
birth to a baby so little that it couldn't possibly live. Each time
the nightmare was more detailed and she knew that it was a little
girl. She was strapped to a metal slab and the worst aspect was that
the Cigarette Smoking Man was in the delivery room.

It felt so real that it chilled her to the bone. This nightmare was
of the same kind she'd had after her abduction and she couldn't help
but think that it could really have happened during that time. 
She was sure she would have remembered being pregnant, but it kept
nagging at her. 

She wanted to have a baby. The idea was growing more and more inside
her head. She loved to think about a little redheaded girl with hazel
eyes or a boy with brown hair and blue eyes. She knew that it was
just wishful thinking for the moment because their lives were too
dangerous to bring a child into the equation, but her biological
clock was ticking. She would love to have her belly swollen with a
little Mulder growing inside.

She sighed and turned around to find herself wrapped in two strong
warm arms. Mulder always knew when she wasn't asleep. It was like a
sixth sense. She let herself relax against his chest.


"What are you thinking?" he asked, a bit worried.

"I was just rambling, nothing important."

He released her a bit so he could see her eyes. Her eyes couldn't
lie to him. He saw her inner turmoil and wanted to know what was
really bothering her. She hadn't slept a whole night since they had
arrived in Home.

"It is important if you can't sleep because of it. You know you can
tell me anything," he pleaded.

She grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. They sat down side by
side and she breathed deeply, trying to organise her thoughts.

"I was thinking about what you said to me the other day, about never
seeing me as a mother before. I never realised how much I'd love to
have a family of my own. I never saw myself as a mother either
until.." she hesitated.

"Until we got together?"

She nodded, her blue eyes shining. He cradled her face in his hands
and gazed into the deep blue pool of her eyes.

"I've thought about it too. I realised when we were talking that day
that you were the mother of my future children, a boy and a girl who
will be the perfect combination of each of us. If you were afraid
that I didn't want to start a family, it's not the case. I hold the
hope that one day we will stop living in secrecy, marry and have our
own kids," he whispered.

Two fat tears escaped her eyes and she smiled at him. He wanted to
build something with her. He was just as involved as she was in their
relationships and wanted to commit.  God only knew he hadn't had a
great example with his dysfunctional family.

"Do you know how much I love you?" she said before capturing his
lips and kissing him gently, softly.

"I kind of remember you saying exactly that," he answered when their
mouths parted. " but you didn't show me," he added, waggling his
eyebrows. 

"You are incorrigible," she told him, tears still in her eyes.

There was still something she needed to tell him, but she didn't
know how to confess that she saw the Cigarette Smoking Man in her
nightmare, while she was delivering.

"There's still something bothering you, isn't there?"

She nodded and decided to get it over with.

"I have this recurring nightmare about giving birth to a baby, so
little that I can't believe it could live, and the Cigarette Smoking
Man is in the room..he's smiling this sadistic little smile. My arms
and legs are strapped to a slab, and I think it may be a memory of my
abduction."

"A baby, Scully? You think they experimented on you like that?"

"Yes. I wasn't pregnant when I was kidnapped, Mulder!" 

"Are you sure? We were hardly very careful," he said angrily,
standing and pacing the room.

"Do you think there wouldn't be any proof of that? Do you remember
that I had an appointment with my friend Casey Faulkner the day I was
abducted? I've contacted her and she said that I was just down with
flu.  Do you think that she would lie to me? Do you think *I*would
lie to you?" she said tearfully.

She lowered her head and cried silently. She was so vulnerable at
the moment and she didn't need him to accuse her of lying.

He looked at her. Of course, she had checked with her friend. She'd
had nightmares for two years and he needed to know when the baby had
started to appear in them.. He calmed down and knelt before her,
raising her head with a finger under her chin.

"I trust you Scully. It's just that we didn't use anything that
night in your apartment. I believe you, baby."

She let him hold her in his arms. Mulder wasn't the kind to
apologize but he had done just that with simple words like trust and
believe. Two words that meant everything to him.

"We have to find out what they did to you. If that son of a bitch
experimented on you like that, I'll kill him with my bare hands, I
swear to you." He added fiercely, tightening his embrace.

She didn't answer. She knew that Mulder would try to find out what
had happened to her but did she want him to? Was she strong enough to
learn about the experimentation? She wasn't sure of anything except
that Mulder would protect her and love her no matter what. It was a
relief to try to overcome her fear with the man she loved 
at her side.

They finally lay down on the bed and she was able to sleep a little.
The nightmares stayed at bay but they both knew that it wasn't over. 
The truth was still out there.


Chapter 18 


Dana Scully's Apartment Building - Georgetown - October 4, 1996


Mulder was hesitant to knock on Scully's door. They were just back
from Apison and the whole soul mate fiasco had worn them out and
endangered their personal relationship. He had been taken in by the
hypno-regression and had believed that Melissa Riedel was his soul
mate, his one and only, and that Scully had always been his faithful
sidekick. At the time, it had seemed so real that he hadn't realised
how much he had hurt the woman who shared his life's work and owned
his heart.

They hadn't spoken on the plane back to Washington. Scully had faked
sleep just to avoid talking about what Mulder thought was the truth,
and now that he'd had time to reflect on his beliefs, he knew that
Dana Scully was his soul mate and there never had been anyone else.
There never would. He just had to convince her that he had made a big
mistake.

It wouldn't be easy because she was angry with him. She had been
angry from the beginning of the case and they hadn't even shared a
bed during the five days the investigation lasted. She had given him
the silent treatment, which meant that she was trying to sort out her
feelings. It wasn't really a good sign but he hoped that she wouldn't
throw him out before he had time to explain himself.

He braced himself for what was to come and knocked, not daring to
surprise her by using his key.


Inside Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown


Scully knew that it was him before he even knocked. She had spotted
his car half an hour ago, parked in front of her building. She had
observed him trying to gather the courage to come to her door. She
had secretly hoped that he would turn back and return to his
apartment, avoiding the fight that was coming.

She wasn't ready to face him yet. She had turned the last few days'
events over in her head a thousand times. She had seen him with that
woman and she had felt the burning sensation of jealousy getting to
her. So Melissa was his soul mate and she was his friend, eternal
second best? She couldn't be happy with just being friends. She was
in love with him and she needed his frankness and his undivided
attention. If he thought that Melissa had been the one and only, she
would just have to let him go and free him from what he thought he
was feeling for the living and breathing Dana Scully.

She wiped the residual tears from her face and opened the door. 

He was wearing his lost little boy look but she refused to fall for
that. She was angry and she would stay that way. 

He watched her petite figure, clad in her comfy white bathrobe, her
eyes red from crying, and he realised that the damage done in Apison
was greater than he'd thought.

"Hi," he said, entering the living room.

She closed the door and joined him next to the couch, neither of
them sitting. The tension between them was palpable. She crossed her
arms protectively over her chest and waited. She wouldn't start the
conversation; he had to take the first step. She was boiling inside.

"Scully, about Apison, I'm.." he tried.

"Don't you dare say you are sorry, Mulder. You're always so quick to
say you're sorry. Do you even know what being sorry is?!" she cried
out.

 "Jesus, what the hell do you want from me, Scully?" 
He asked angrily.

"What do I want, Mulder? Honesty, trust..something that you've asked
from me but never considered giving back! You believe that Melissa
Riedel is your soul mate? Okay, fine. What about me? I don't want to
be second best, Mulder!" she said harshly, her eyes sending daggers.

"You aren't second best! I love you, Scully, more than I'm able to
express or show. I let myself get carried away during the case. 
Melissa was a lost soul and maybe I just wanted to save her."

Scully didn't want to believe that he just pitied the young woman.
She was blinded by her anger and her jealousy. She couldn't accept
that Mulder had believed that she wasn't his soul mate, the second
half of a whole. She had been embarrassed in front of the therapist,
Melissa, and even Walter Skinner and that wouldn't go away quickly.

"That's bullshit! She was clearly your type, brunette with long legs
and big breasts. What if she was still alive? Have you thought about
that?"

"It wouldn't have changed anything. I love*you*. And I don't have a
type!" He added, trying to contain 
his anger at seeing her so jealous.

"You have got a type! I've seen my share of your ex girlfriends."

The argument stopped momentarily. They stood staring at each other
like two fighters ready to pounce. Their relationship had never been
easy, and they were conscious that the Apison case could mean the
end. It was the first time that their work had become mixed with
their personal life and it had hurt. Something had to give so she
surrendered and spoke, calmer than before.

"Mulder, I need you to think about us. I want you to be sure that
you aren't making a mistake by being with me. I want you to feel
committed. We can't go on like this. I love you, Mulder and I have no
doubt about you being the one but if you aren't sure of yourself,
then it's better that we stop before we hurt each other deeply."

"What do you want from me? I'm in love with you. I breathe for you.
How can you doubt me?" he defended himself.

"Because yesterday, you were sure that Melissa Riedel was your soul
mate. I can't live knowing that you can have a change of heart faster
than I can blink. I can't," she admitted with tears in her eyes.

"What are you saying exactly?" he asked with a lump in his throat,
grabbing at straws.

She approached him for the first time since he had entered the
apartment. She put one hand on his arm and watched him, boring a hole
in his soul.

"We have to put some distance between us, to reflect, to be sure
that we still want to do this. We need to save what can be saved,
Mulder. I still love you. I'll love you until the end of my life.."

 I love you too and I'll never be able to stop," he whispered.

"I don't want to stop either but maybe we aren't meant to be. We
have to take a breather and make the right decision. We owe it to
ourselves." The dam broke and tears rolled down her face.

"Please, Scully, don't leave me.." he pleaded, crying too.

"I won't leave you..I promise. I'll always be your friend. You can
trust me on this. I just don't know if our bond is strong 
enough..give
us a chance, Mulder and give us time to heal, 
to get back on track.
Please."

He lowered his forehead to hers and closed his eyes while he held
her, maybe for the last time as her lover. He had made the mistake of
believing that Scully could forgive him for accepting that Melissa
Riedel was his long lost soul mate. Scully wasn't just his friend or
his partner, she was his lover and he had forgotten the part she
played in his life. Now it might cost him the only meaningful
relationship of his adult life.

They parted reluctantly. He kissed the corner of her mouth softly
and left quietly, to give them time to repair the damage done in a
field in Apison. He didn't see Scully slide to the floor and sob
loudly. It may be a necessary step to take but it was a difficult and
hurtful one. She cried herself to sleep that night. The next day she
would have to face him and keep her feelings locked in her heart,
maybe forever.


Chapter 19 


X-Files Basement Office - Washington D.C. - January 5, 1997


"Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life." 

"Yes, but it's m.."  

Mulder didn't finish his sentence. Since that night in October,
they'd never been able to reconnect on a personal level. They had
both thought about the meaning of their personal relationship but had
never had the courage to address the issue. They had stayed in limbo
and grown further apart. 

The cases had kept them occupied a great deal. Their encounter with
Krycek that led Mulder on an incredible trip to Siberia, and the
whole fiasco with John Lee Roche, had been really hard on them, so it
had been easy to just avoid the subject of their relationship hoping
in vain that the issue would resolve itself.

They still loved each other but their relationship had been
compromised after the fight they'd had at Scully's apartment. From
then on, the rift had widened more each day. During the Tunguska
case, Scully had suspected that Mulder had slept with Marita
Covarrubias in her apartment in New York. She had always despised the
blond woman and had been sure that Marita would take every
opportunity to get her clutches on him. 

Then, there had been Philadelphia and her encounter with Ed Jerse.
Mulder was on forced vacation and they had fought about everything
and nothing. That pissed her off no end and had been the reason she
had agreed to date the man. That's why she'd drunk too much and got a
tattoo. It had been childish but she'd wanted to get back at Mulder
for the suffering and the loneliness. She'd felt betrayed and used,
and when Ed started to put the moves on her and tried to kiss her,
she'd just needed revenge. But she'd still loved Mulder and couldn't
cheat on him. She wasn't the kind of woman to have a one night stand
with a stranger.

Mulder didn't know that Scully hadn't slept with the psychopath. He
believed that he was losing her more each passing day. They hadn't
spoken about their future and he feared the worst. He still wanted to
be with her, to be her lover. That's why he had rejected Covarrubias'
attention in New York. Back in the day, he would have been interested
in a no-strings one night stand but, since Scully, he had no interest
in easy and casual sex.

They were in a stalemate, two warriors refusing to surrender. If it
stayed this way between them forever, they could lose everything:
partnership, friendship and above all, love. Mulder decided that the
waiting game was over. He stood and joined Scully on the other side
of the desk. He knelt before her and took her hand in his. She didn't
fight him. She raised her head and their eyes met, trying to recreate
the invisible link between their souls.

"It's my life too," he finished in a soft tone.

"You didn't act as if what we shared was important to you." 

"It matters to me a great deal. When I got the phone call from the
hospital, I realised that I hadn't told you how much you meant to me.
And now it's too late."

"Why are you saying that? I've lost you already. What about Marita
Covarrubias?" she said harshly.

"What does she have to do with us?" he wondered, not understanding
what she was getting at.

"You slept with her." She said flatly.

"I swear to you that I didn't sleep with her. She tried to lure me
into her bedroom but I refused and slept in an armchair. Please
Scully, trust me. I haven't cheated on you. I could never do that."

She analysed his pleading eyes. She was expert at reading him and he
wasn't trying to fool her. He was being honest and she felt ashamed
for thinking that he could replace her so easily. She had been
blinded by her jealousy and had hurt him with her insecurities.  It
was her cue to confess and try to save what she could.

"I didn't sleep with Jerse," she blurted out.

He released the breath he was holding. It was a relief for him to
know that they weren't as damaged as he thought. There was still hope
and he wouldn't let this opportunity go. He had to act. It was now or
never. He had already waited too long.

"I thought you had slept with him just to get at me. I'm sorry,
Scully. For Philadelphia. For Apison."

"I almost did it, Mulder. I was drunk and I thought for just one
second that he was you. That all was right between us, but I opened
my eyes and the reality hit me. He wasn't you and I couldn't cheat.
We hadn't broken up. We were sorting things out. I wasn't so drunk
anymore and I found the strength to say no."

"He could have killed you." He said, realising how lucky she'd been
that the man hadn't lost his mind at that very moment.

"I know." She lowered her gaze to their entwined hands.

He released her and cupped her face between his hands. They stayed
face to face for a long time, the seconds ticking with each
heartbeat. They reconnected instantly, their eyes conveying what they
weren't able to express, the pain and the loneliness they had felt.
It was time to stop being ridiculous, to act like grown ups.

"Marry me, Scully," he whispered.

She gasped. She hadn't expected that. She thought that he would say
that he wanted to try again and lay some ground rules. She had asked
for a commitment from him back in October and now he was proposing to
her. Mulder wasn't a man to do things by half measures. It was all or
nothing with him. She was taken aback and couldn't find a valid
argument to refuse him. She wanted to be Mrs Fox Mulder and to bear
his children. That was all it had been about since she had started to
have her nightmares about delivering a baby, his baby. She had been
afraid to lose him, to lose their dream of having a normal family.

"Usually, the woman gives an answer to the man who is kneeling and
proposing to her," he joked, trying to deflect the fear he felt at
her possible refusal.

"You didn't exactly ask the question in a conventional manner,
Mulder," she said lightly, masking the turmoil inside her head.

He stood and went to his desk, opened the first drawer, and took
something out. She could see that he was holding a black velvet box
and shivered in anticipation. It was the real thing, there was no
mistake. He went to the door and locked it, then came back to her,
knelt down, and took her left hand in his.

"Dana Scully, will you make an honest man of me and become my wife?"

The tears fell freely from her eyes.

"Yes," she whispered.

He opened the jewellery box and extracted the most beautiful
engagement ring she had ever seen. It was a diamond solitaire mounted
on a thin gold band. It was *her* engagement ring. He put it on her
left ring finger. She was engaged. The dark cloud that had floated
above her head for three months dissolved into thin air. He smiled
the most beautiful smile she had ever seen, then lowered his mouth to
her ring finger and kissed it reverently.

"*You* are my soul mate Scully. There has never been anyone else.
There never will be."

"I *trust* you."

She kissed him then, brushing her lips lightly to his before
devouring him hungrily. This was their first kiss in a long time and
the hunger was unbearable. Their tongues met, duelling deliciously.
They were gripping at each other as if there was no tomorrow.

The imperative to breath made them part and that's when they
realised that they were at work, in their office. They could have
been seen by anybody but it didn't matter. The world was reduced to
themselves and their love.

"Let's go home," she purred.

"Not before being married. I won't wait another minute, Scully. I'll
make love to my wife tonight."

"Mulder, how do you think we can do that?" she asked, totally
surprised.

"It's only 10 AM. We can still find somewhere to be married."

"Mulder..I'm my mom's only remaining daughter. I can't do that to
her." She said, finding the only valid argument for not running to a
Justice of the Peace.  She wanted the whole nine yards: the dress,
the church, their families and their friends. She couldn't elope. It
was too important. 

"I promise you that we'll have the big wedding you deserve, but I
don't want to wait. I want to marry you as soon as possible. It can't
wait. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Anything could happen
and I don't want to live with regrets."

He held her tightly against him, nipping the sensitive skin beneath
her ear. She moaned. He was trying to make her crazy. They hadn't
touched and made love for three long months and it was becoming
impossible to ignore the fact that she was horny. He was right, they
lived dangerous lives and that they could be separated by death any
time.

"After exchanging our vows, I'll take you to the honeymoon suite of
the best hotel in town. Once there, I'll undress you slowly and kiss
your body inch by inch. I'll make love to you until you can't
remember who you are anymore. I'll make you moan until you have no
voice left," he went on, seductively, trailing light kisses on her
neck.

"What about secrecy?" she retorted, feebly, becoming putty in his
arms.

He released her a little and kissed her lips with butterfly kisses.

"Oh..we can always go <kiss> to your apartment <kiss> 
and keep it quiet..but <kiss> the wedding records are <kiss>
public <kiss>. Time to come <kiss> clean <kiss>.
 I won't hide you <kiss>. "

He had won. He realised it when she began to give him little kisses
back and was smiling. They parted and she gazed at him, her blue eyes
shining with mirth. She had been so depressed this morning when she
woke up and now life was good once again. She wouldn't wait another
minute. She gave him one last kiss and grabbed his hand leading him
out of the office.

"Eh! Where are we going?"

"In Virginia there is no waiting period for a wedding license!"

He laughed at the always practical Dana Scully. They were going to
get married, tonight. The day couldn't have got any better unless he
had managed to coerce her into a quickie in the basement just to
celebrate their engagement.


Chapter 20 


Dana Scully's Apartment - Georgetown - January 5, 1997 3 PM


Mulder and Scully went to Arlington to get their marriage license.
There was no waiting period, and no blood test required, so it was
exactly what they needed. Once they had paid for the important piece
of paper, they made an appointment with the Justice of the Peace at 5
PM and then they parted company so they could each do their separate
preparations for the most important day of their lives.

Two hours later, Scully was back at her apartment after doing some
shopping in the mall.  She had run to the bridal shop to get
something appropriate to wear, not wanting to wear a work suit. She
bought an A-line white full length slip-dress with spaghetti straps,
made of organza, with lace-up in the back. She had fallen in love
with it and, fortunately, it fitted perfectly, as if the dress was
waiting for her. She got the matching shawl to go with it and some
new white strappy shoes. 

Her next stop had been the Victoria Secret's store. A bride-to-be
needed to wear brand new lingerie and to buy sexy nightwear too. Her
credit card got a work out in this shop too. She purchased a floral
and sheer white strapless merrywidow with the matching thong and
stockings, to wear beneath her dress. For her wedding night, she had
a hard time deciding what to get. She was about to buy a traditional
silk gown when she spotted what would send Mulder's blood pressure
soaring: a sheer lace teddy that was tied up with delicate silk
ribbons. The piece of cloth left nothing to the imagination and she
loved it at first sight. 

All her purchases were laid over her bed. She still was walking on
air. It all seemed so unreal, but she had her engagement ring as
proof that she hadn't dreamt it all together. 

She had to be quick if she wanted to be ready by 4.30 PM. They had
agreed to meet at the courthouse, so they could respect the tradition
of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding. She ran to the
bathroom to take her shower and wash her hair.



Fox Mulder's Apartment - Alexandria - January 5th, 1997 3 PM


Fox Mulder hadn't been idle since he had parted company with Scully.
He also went to the mall to prepare. He went to the drycleaner to get
his favourite light grey suit back for the wedding. Then he hit the
jewellery store to retrieve the wedding rings he had bought several
months ago. They weren't even lovers when he purchased them. He had
asked the jeweller to keep them for him until he got the courage to
pop the question. 

He was home now. His suit and white dress shirt were laid on his
bed, the rings were in the jacket pocket, and it was nearly time to
jump in the shower and get on with the show.
But one more thing needed to be taken care of, one important thing.
He wanted the day to be perfect for Scully and he knew that one more
person was needed to make it perfect. He grabbed the phone and
dialled a familiar number.


Arlington's Justice of the Peace - January 5, 1997  4:45 PM


Mulder was pacing nervously in the hallway of Arlington's
courthouse. He was afraid that Scully had gotten a bad case of cold
feet and changed her mind. He was fingering the rings in his pocket
every few minutes. He was a mess. It wouldn't be over until the "I
do's" were said and all the papers signed. Anything could happen
before that.

The sound of heels clicking on the marble floor warmed his heart. He
would recognize her step anywhere. He stopped pacing and turned
toward the sound, gasping at the beautiful sight his fiancee made.
She was an angel. Her dress fit perfectly and brought out all her
womanly assets. Her hair fell in wavy strands on her shoulders and
she was wearing little white flowers in it. She was a goddess and her
beauty made him weak at the knees.

Her eyes were shining. She could see the effect she had on him and
congratulated herself for her good choice of clothing. He wasn't bad
either. The light grey Armani suit had always been her favourite,
encasing his well toned ass perfectly. For once, he was wearing a
sedate tie against his white starched shirt. He was good enough to
eat and she would have fun undressing him later.

She went to him and took his proffered hand in hers. They didn't
have time to utter one word before a loud gasp made them jump.

"Dana!" yelled a very joyful Mrs Scully, running in their direction.

"Mom! How..?" Scully said, surprised to say the least at her
mother's presence.

Maggie embraced her daughter and kissed her cheeks.

"Do you think I would have missed my baby girl's wedding, Dana?" she
chastised gently.

"No but.."

"Fox called me earlier this afternoon to ask me to be your witness.
How could I say no?"

"You're not angry?" Scully asked, watching her mother's shining
eyes. She was glowing. Margaret Scully had hoped that someday these
two kids, as she liked to call them, would come together and
eventually wed.  She had suspected that they had crossed the line a
while ago and she hadn't been surprised when Fox had called her with
the good news. She would have preferred a Catholic wedding, but Fox
had assured her that it would happen later. She understood why they
didn't want to wait. Their lives had been threatened enough times for
them to be aware that nothing should be taken for granted. 

"I'm not. I love you, Dana and I've always wanted what's best for
you. Fox is the one. I've known that for a long time"

She took Scully's left hand and admired the engagement ring.

"I've always thought that Missy would be the first one to be
married, but fate didn't allow her to meet the man she would have
loved all her life. I'm glad that my only remaining daughter will
know this happiness. You've got my blessing Dana and I'm sure your
father would have agreed with me."

Mother and daughter embraced tightly. What her mother had said about
her father's blessing meant the world to Scully. Ahab and Mulder had
never met and she would always regret that.

Mulder was glad that he had called Maggie and told her that they
were getting married. Both women deserved to be together for such an
important day. He was about to join the embrace when the door of the
Justice of the Peace opened and a clerk called them in.

Maggie took Dana's hand and gave it to Mulder as her blessing. No
more words were exchanged and they entered the office.

Marrying in a courthouse wasn't as solemn as their wedding in the
Church would be.  The judge was seated behind his desk and his clerk
stood near him. 

"Sit down, please," the clerk said, while the judge was reviewing
the paperwork. He raised his head and smiled at the couple.

"All seems to be in order. Fox, Dana, I understand that you decided
to wed this morning. I just need to know that it's not a hurried
decision you'll come to regret later."

It was a valid question for someone who didn't know them and Mulder
was ready to answer when Maggie intervened. She stood and approached
the judge.

"Sir, I can answer for both of them," she began, "Dana is my
daughter and she has known Fox for 5 years already. There isn't a
doubt in my mind about their love and their commitment to each other.
They have a dangerous job and that's why they decided not to lose one
more minute. They both deserve some happiness and they shouldn't have
to wait when it's right."

"Thank you, Mom," whispered a teary Dana Scully.

"Good," said the judge, "there is just one more formality before it
can be official."

Scully and Mulder's hands entwined and they turned toward each other
as the judge proceeded with the ceremony:

"Dana Katherine Scully, do you take Fox William Mulder as your
lawful husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and
keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and
health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as
you both shall live?"

"I do," she said clearly, her eyes locked with Mulder's.

"Fox William Mulder, do you take Dana Katherine Scully as your
lawful wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep
her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and
health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, so long as
you both shall live?"

"I do."

Their hands parted.  Mulder got the wedding rings out of his jacket
pocket and the older man nodded to him. He took Scully's left hand in
his and put the plain gold band next to her engagement ring.

"With this ring, I make you mine. Before these witnesses, I vow to
love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I offer
myself to you with all my faults, my strengths and my eternal love."

The simple gold band fit perfectly on her ring finger and it was her
turn to give him the golden circle that would make him hers.

"With this ring, I make you mine Fox Mulder. Before these witnesses,
I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live and
beyond that. I offer myself to you with all that I am, strengths and
faults."

Tears were falling freely on both their face and Maggie had already
dissolved into tears at the first "I do." 

The judge proclaimed. "By the powers vested in me by the State of
Virginia, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your
bride, Mr Mulder."

Their lips joined in the tenderest kiss they had ever shared. They
were officially husband and wife, Mr and Mrs Fox Mulder, and it felt
right. They parted slowly and he lowered his forehead to her and
whispered:

"I love you, Dana Scully-Mulder."