From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 15:06:17 -0500
Subject: The Paths We Choose by Kate
Source: direct

Reply To: msr_xphile@yahoo.com


From:  Kate
Date:  May 1, 2000
Subject: New:  The Paths We Choose by Kate 

Title:  The Paths We Choose
Author:  Kate
Email:  msr_xphile@yahoo.com
Category:  MSR
Spoilers:  All Things, The Unnatural
Rating:  NC-17 (for sex)
Archive:  Anywhere, just let me know so I can grin like a 
proud parent
Summary:  The missing scene from "All Things" has been found
Disclaimer:  If I owned them, they'd have done this a LONG 
TIME AGO.  Since I don't, CC better get them back for an 
eighth season!!
Feedback:  Yes, please, and my poor little ego can take bad 
news, so don't worry.





"Within you I lose myself 
 Without you I find myself 
 Wanting to be lost again."
                       -Unknown


Time passes in moments.  Moments which, rushing past define 
the path of a life, just as surely as they lead towards its 
end.  How rarely do we stop to examine that path?  To see the 
reasons why all things happen.  To consider whether the path 
we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we 
drift with eyes closed.  But what if we could stop?  Pause to 
take stock of each precious moment before it passes?  Might we 
then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a 
life?  And seeing those choices...choose another path?  

-Dana Katherine Scully  "All Things"



The Paths We Choose
Part 1

Scully awoke groggy and confused, the sound of a television 
murmuring in the distance.  She froze for a moment, trying to 
remember where she was and how she had gotten there.  Then it 
came to her.  Daniel.  Mulder.  A sigh escaped her lips.  She 
felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.  
Finally, the Daniel chapter of her life had been closed.  She 
had carried guilt and uncertainty and a hint of regret around 
with her for too long, and it had kept her from moving on and 
enjoying the life she had chosen for herself.  A life she had 
made on her own.  She was free.

The realization stunned her.  She had carried the guilt and 
self-doubt for so many years, she had no idea how to carry on 
without it.  Scully admitted silently that a part of her had 
seen the burden of her emotions as punishment for nearly 
having an affair with a married man, nearly helping a man 
betray his vows.  She pulled the blanket draped over her 
closer to her body as she stared at the glowing fish tank next 
to Mulder's couch.  His fish have died again, she thought 
idly.  Her heart gave a little lurch as she considered her 
partner.  

She had loved him for a long time, but she had not felt free 
to act on her emotions.  She knew he loved her, loved her in 
the way a man loves a woman, the love of his life.  Fully and 
completely.  Sure, they drove each other nuts once in awhile.  
He's just so stubborn, she thought.  Like you're not, her mind 
scolded her.  She had never told him of Daniel, had not 
trusted him enough to believe that he would not condemn her.  
That had been her mistake, and she had paid for it for too 
many years to count.  

There had always been a spark of attraction between them, and 
it had been evident the moment she'd stepped into his office 
seven long, eventful years ago.  They'd flirted, fallen in 
love, and become best friends.  But neither had been 
romantically ready for the other seven years ago.  Hell, 
Scully thought, I'm still not ready for him.  The depth of 
emotion she had for him was nearly overwhelming.  Sometimes 
she had thought that he would just overpower her emotions at 
some point.  But he hadn't.  At first because he wasn't ready, 
and later, after Samantha, when his demons had finally been 
laid to rest, because she wasn't ready.  The fact that he had 
waited for her made her love him even more.

He had been on her mind so much during the past few days, 
spurring her on when she felt that resolving her feelings for 
Daniel and her past was too much to bear.  It was for him and 
the chance of a life together that she had confronted her past 
and her emotions, some part of her knowing that Daniel and the 
past was holding her back from Mulder and her future.  But 
Daniel was resolved and Scully was now holding her future, and 
Mulder's, in her hands.  She heard the bedsprings squeak as he 
got into bed and knew her decision had been made many, many 
lifetimes before.


The Paths We Choose
Part 2

Mulder stared at his ceiling, contemplating the beautiful 
woman asleep on his couch.  He must really have lost it to 
have left Scully asleep on his couch.  He knew the 
consequences of a decision like that.  They included a night-
long hard on, hot, sweaty dreams (when he actually managed to 
fall asleep for a short period of time), and the sexy "morning 
after" look Scully acquired after sleeping any place other 
than her bed.  Mulder groaned and squirmed trying to make his 
lower body more comfortable.  Even baseball, normally the 
killer of any man's erection, was a taboo subject.  He could 
remember Scully's tight little butt nestled against his lower 
body as he taught her to play baseball as clearly as he could 
see the hand he was currently using to smack himself on the 
forehead.  No, baseball was definitely out of the question.

His mind traveled back to the conversation he had had with her 
a short time ago.  He had always known she held a part of 
herself back from him, and he had tried desperately hard not 
to resent her for it.  But tonight, hearing her speak of her 
guilt and regrets over this man Daniel, he had not felt the 
gut-wrenching jealousy he would have expected of himself.  
Instead, he had felt, and still felt, elated.  Perhaps it was 
the tone of Scully's voice as she told him her story.  She had 
seemed so accepting and relieved, it had lifted his spirits 
considerably.  He had been really disappointed by her decision 
not to accompany him to England, and he had missed her more 
than he should have, which he thought was pretty obvious by 
his quick return.  He just didn't like to be away from her for 
more than, well, a day.  Or an hour, if it came right down to 
it.  She was holding his heart in her hands.

Mulder knew she was aware of his feelings for her, just as he 
was aware of her love for him.  They both knew it gone far 
beyond friendship long ago.  But he knew he had not been ready 
for that kind of a relationship until he had been able to put 
some closure on his guilt over Samantha.  He had known, too, 
that Scully was still not ready, and he had had to lecture 
himself daily to give her her space and wait until she was.  
They had always been ridiculously attracted to each other, but 
had silently agreed to wait and take what each was able to 
give at that time.

Not that it had been easy; Mulder had nearly tossed her on his 
desk and made frantic love to her dozens of times.  He knew 
she wouldn't have fought him either.  But he didn't want to 
deal with losing her as a friend in order to be her lover only 
once when he knew he could wait and have her as both.  After 
tonight, though, he suspected he wouldn't have to wait for her 
much longer.  Closure was imminent, he thought, and so was 
their chance.  Now if he could just get through this 
interminably long night, he would be a content man.  Well, 
sane was probably more apt. A movement at his door caught his 
eye and had him bolting up in bed and throwing his legs over 
the side, his brow wrinkled in concern.  

"Scully?  What is it?  Is something wrong?"  He was a little 
unnerved that he hadn't heard her moving around.  Too steeped 
in thoughts of her, he thought ruefully.  He was going to get 
himself hurt one of these days.  "Mulder," she said softly.  
"I'm ready."

The Paths We Choose
Part 3

Any blood left in Fox Mulder's head dropped swiftly to his 
lap.  She couldn't possibly mean what he thought she meant.  
He was expecting weeks, not hours.  This was too good to be 
true.  Scully, warm and willing.  He felt himself harden even 
more and realized he was about two more sex thoughts away from 
embarrassing himself.  She was probably talking about being 
ready to go home, of course.  "Scully," he rasped.

"Mulder, we've waited long enough, and I'm ready now.  It's 
time," she responded.

"But you're not ready, Scully.  We've waited this long, we can 
wait a few more weeks until you're sure.  I can wait, Scully," 
he answered.  He saw amusement flash into her eyes as she 
glanced down at his straining pajama pants and began to walk 
slowly towards him.

"That's not what I'm noticing, Mulder," she said, smiling 
slightly.  It humbled her that he would put her state of mind 
ahead of his own fulfillment and made her more certain than 
ever that this was the right time.  She stepped between his 
legs and placed her hands on his shoulders, rubbing softly.  
"And you know deep down that I'm ready; you're just trying to 
protect me."

He didn't answer, but merely shook his head at her 
perceptiveness and rested his forehead on her abdomen, his 
hands reaching up to rest on her hips.  He breathed in the 
scent of her, enjoying the feel of her hands gently caressing 
his shoulders and neck.  She was right; it was time.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly stood up, sliding his hands up 
to the small of her back.  It was rare that they allowed each 
other something so simple as a hug, as each had always known 
that it would never be enough.  Now he reveled in the chance 
to just hold her.  Their difference in size always amazed him.  
She was so small, barely reaching his chin in her bare feet, 
and a part of him always feared he would hurt her with his 
size.  But she had never seemed afraid of him physically 
(she'd shot him, for that matter), so he never dwelled on it 
too much.  Tonight he knew he would have to, though.  She had 
not been with a man for a very long time, and he did not want 
their first time to bring her any discomfort.

Sighing with the simple pleasure of being held by Mulder, 
Scully rested her cheek on his chest and wrapped her arms 
around him.  His size had always secretly delighted her.  She 
usually hated being so small and having to look up to a man, 
but Mulder's size made her feel dainty and feminine, two 
traits Scully would have died before admitting to.  She had 
worked hard to create a strong image for herself, and dainty 
and feminine did not fit her public persona.  Her private 
personality was another matter, one she was finally ready to 
share with Mulder.  She tilted her head back and looked into 
Mulder's eyes.  Love swelled in her chest as she pulled his 
head down to meet her lips.  Finally, she would know the taste 
of him.

Mulder pressed his lips down on hers gently.  He had never 
realized such a simple kiss could elicit such emotion in a 
person.  Her lips were soft and smooth, and the feel of her in 
his arms made his heart clench sweetly.  He pulled her tightly 
against him, nearly lifting her completely off the floor as he 
deepened the kiss until their tongues were tangled together.  
I could seriously drown in her, he realized.  She is that 
important to me.

Mulder fought the desire to rip her clothes and take her like 
an animal, instead turning slightly to gently lower her onto 
his bed.  He would, he decided, make their first time together 
more than raging hormones and lust.  There would be time for 
speed later; this first time would be for love.  He lifted his 
head and framed her face in his hands.  Clear blue eyes looked 
back at him as he whispered, "You are the most beautiful woman 
I have ever seen.  You are everything to me, Scully."  As her 
eyes overflowed, he bent his head to trace light kisses over 
the tears.

Nothing could have prepared her for the experience of making 
love with her soul mate.  It was as if she could feel all of 
Mulder's emotions seeping through the pores of the body 
pressed firmly against hers.  There would be no need for words 
tonight; the silent communication of their two joined hearts 
would fulfill both of them.  She shed the final vestiges of 
her fears and gave herself up completely to Mulder.

The surrender of a strong woman is a powerful thing, and 
Mulder recognized the gift Scully was giving him.  Humbled, he 
traced a path down her cheek to the sensitive area behind her 
ear, increasing the pressure of his lips when he felt her arch 
against him.  He slid his hands up her rib cage and beneath 
her jacket so his thumbs were resting on the undersides of her 
breasts.  She has too many clothes on, he decided, rolling to 
her side.  His blood was beginning to hum, but he was 
determined to draw out the night.  She helped him pull her 
black jacket off her and smiled when he sent it flying across 
the room.  He had her emerald colored shirt up and over her 
head before she even realized what was happening.

Mulder pushed himself up and straddled her waist, studying her 
naked flesh with desire in his eyes.  Scully shivered; she had 
never seen that predatory gleam in his eyes before.  He 
reached out with one hand and tucked a stray strand of hair 
behind her ear, a habit he had developed recently, and traced 
his hand down her cheek and neck, allowing it to come to rest 
on the front clasp of her bra.  With his eyes on hers, he 
unhooked her bra, and glanced down to watch her breasts spill 
free.

God, she had great breasts, Mulder thought.  He had always 
admired them; they were just the right size to fill a man's 
hands.  His hands.  Pushing her bra out of the way, he cupped 
a breast in each hand and slowly ran his thumbs around her 
nipples, being careful not to touch them directly.  He watched 
her nipples tighten and stand out proudly, begging for his 
attention.  He decided to oblige them, and bent down to flick 
his tongue carelessly over her right nipple.  Scully jerked 
and instinctively pushed her breast upward toward his mouth, 
silently pleading with him to take more.  Mulder grinned 
slightly and merely blew gently across the wet nipple, 
watching it get even tighter.  Scully gave a throaty little 
moan and he felt her hips thrust upward.  Not wanting her 
other breast to feel left out, he turned his head and 
performed the same process on it.  Scully moaned again, louder 
this time, and slid her hands underneath his T-shirt.  She 
dragged her nails lightly over his lower stomach and felt pure 
feminine delight at the ripple of muscle she felt in response.

Always willing to offer assistance, Mulder yanked his shirt 
over his head and sent it flying across the room, too.  Scully 
caught her breath at the site of Mulder's chest bared to her.  
He was magnificent.  She had never realized how broad his 
chest was.  She ran her hands up his chest, pulling him down 
to her so she could bury her hands in his thick brown hair.  
Mulder shivered as her hands roamed over his body, and he bent 
his head to find her lips with his own.  He deepened the kiss, 
tasting the sweetness of her mouth and sparring playfully with 
her tongue.  He then dragged his mouth down her torso, 
stopping only when he encountered the waist of her skirt.  
Yanking hastily at the zipper on her hip, he soon had her 
skirt flying across the room, as well, leaving Scully clad 
only in her garters and panties. 

Mulder caught his breath at the sight of Scully's lingerie.  
Had he known something like this was under all of those prim 
and proper business suits she always wore, he was certain this 
moment would have come a lot sooner.  Hands shaking with 
desire, he fumbled with the clasps and managed to send her 
stockings flying, too.  When he turned to relieve her of her 
panties next, Mulder was dumbstruck by the sight of Scully in 
a G-string.  His Scully, his scientific, analytical Scully, 
was a closet Victoria's Secret junkie.  Mulder thanked God for 
small favors and sent them flying across the room to join the 
rest of their clothes.  He sat back on his heels to study 
Scully. 

She was so beautiful, was all he could think.  Her eyes were 
glazed with desire and love, her skin glistened with sweat and 
his saliva, and her hands were fisted in his sheets.  He 
lowered his gaze to the nest of curls between her thighs.  
That was his next destination.  But first, he brought one 
finger up to trace lazy circles around her navel, watching the 
muscles tighten and ripple.  He glanced up to see her watching 
him.  With his eyes on hers, he bent forward and flicked his 
tongue over her right nipple, enjoying the instant pucker.  
Still watching her, he began to trail his finger further down 
her stomach.  He abruptly pulled his hand away, only to drag 
the nail of his index finger from the bottom of her moist 
opening to the top of her clit.  Her hips shot off the bed as 
she gasped.  He grinned.  Still using one fingernail, he began 
to draw lazy figure eights through the nest of curls, all the 
while avoiding her tight clit and moist opening.  When he 
removed his hand, she nearly screamed in dismay.  He grinned 
again, but used his other hand to shift his increasingly tight 
pants a bit.  

He sat back on his heels once more and began to gently spread 
Scully's legs further apart.  He settled himself between her 
legs and gazed at her glistening entrance.  He could both 
smell and see the evidence of her desire leaking out of her 
and he licked his lips.  Not yet, not yet, not yet, he chanted 
silently to himself.  He brought one hand up to pull on her 
nipples and gently mold her breasts, while he slid the index 
finger of his other hand inside her tight passage.  She came 
immediately.  He began to move his finger in and out of her, 
drawing out her climax even more.  His left hand abandoned her 
breasts and buried itself in her hair as captured her mouth in 
a hot kiss, his tongue mimicking the movements of the hand 
busy at her crotch.  He licked her lower lip and then ran his 
tongue right down the center of her body, stopping only when 
he could close his mouth over her clit.  He began to suck and 
nip at it as her hips made little jerking motions against his 
mouth. 

Using teeth and tongue only now, he brought her to climax 
again.  He glanced up while his mouth worked, watching her 
eyes glaze over as her hands clenched in his hair as she 
pressed him against her.  When she screamed his name, he knew 
he wouldn't last much longer.  He yanked his pants off and 
positioned himself at her entrance.  He slid slowly into her, 
giving her time to get used to his size.  She was so hot and 
tight.  He paused as she moaned.  He thought he was going to 
explode, but he wasn't sure if her body could take anymore of 
him.  When he didn't move after another minute, Scully finally 
took matters into her own hands and thrust upward, drawing him 
completely into her.

She thought for a moment that she had simply died and gone to 
heaven, he felt so good inside her.  It felt as if he was 
pushing into her stomach, he was so big.  She wondered if he 
could get any deeper.  Almost as if he was reading her mind, 
she felt him pull on her thigh so that her leg was bent at the 
knee.  They both groaned in pleasure.  Oh, yeah, he could go 
deeper.  She quickly bent her other leg and felt him inch 
forward a little more.  Scully thought she could very easily 
have another orgasm before he even thrust once.  But she 
wanted the next time to be with him, so she wiggled her hips a 
bit and pressed herself up against to him.  He got the hint.

Calling on control he never thought he possessed, he pulled 
back until only the tip of his throbbing erection was still 
inside her.  Then he sank back into her with a deep thrust.  
He felt her nails rake his back, and started to repeat the 
process.  This time, however, she knew his intentions and 
clenched around him like a fist, making the achingly slow 
action even more pleasurable for them both.  She heard him 
exhale abruptly and felt his body tighten even more.  She 
began to run her hands lightly over his back as she wrapped 
her legs around his torso.  He thrust once more and was 
positive he was touching important body organs.  The feel of 
her was so great, he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.  
Plus, the feathery touches she was tracing on his back were 
driving him nuts.

He began to thrust faster, and her hips were rising to meet 
his.  The only coherent thought in his mind was that making 
love with Scully was the most pleasurable thing he had ever 
done.  He felt his death grip on his control begin to slip, 
and he fought to hold back the hurricane he felt inside 
himself.  She was almost ready to come again; he could see it 
in the brilliant blue of her eyes and her body was already 
beginning to contract around him.  He felt the overwhelming 
desire to connect with her completely and bent to touch his 
lips to hers.  The spasms enveloped his erection, and he began 
to thrust blindly before spilling himself inside her.

Spent, he touched his forehead to hers, his chest heaving.  
The glazed look was still in her eyes, and he felt a flash of 
masculine pride at its presence.  After all, it wasn't every 
day you saw the cool Dr. Scully looking glazed and dazed and 
thoroughly used.  He pressed a gentle kiss onto the tip of her 
nose and rolled onto his back, taking her with him and keeping 
them joined.  She sprawled across his body as tremors 
continued to run through her body.

He wrapped one arm around her body and made a half-hearted 
attempt to pull his twisted blankets around them.  When he was 
satisfied that they wouldn't freeze to death, he ran a hand 
gently over her head.  He knew she was awake, enjoying the 
sensation of being wrapped around him.

"I love you."  

Mulder felt his heart stumble.  He had never really thought he 
would need to hear the words, knowing they were hard for her 
to say and knowing with his heart that she felt the same way 
he did.  But hearing her say those three little words with a 
catch in her throat was nearly his undoing.  He cleared his 
throat unsteadily.

"I love you, too, Scully.  I always have, and I always will," 
Mulder replied.  He felt something wet hit his chest and 
realized she was crying.  He held her close and ran his hand 
over her cheek, wiping away the tears.  She sniffed and 
brought her own hand up to wipe her cheek, joining it with his 
own and resting their joined hands on his chest.

Together, they slid into sleep, still joined.


The Paths We Choose
Part 4

It was dawn when Scully awoke.  She had fallen asleep half on 
top of him after they had made love the second time.  Their 
joined hands were resting on his chest and his other arm was 
banded around her like steel, a testament to his desire to 
never let her go.  

Unfortunately, the Bureau would not look kindly on two of its 
special agents coming to work looking like they had just 
gotten out of bed together.  Even if they had.  Scully knew, 
though, that if she was going to get through the day with her 
sanity in tact, she was going to have to go home and shower.  
She was certain the scent of him was permanently imprinted on 
her skin and it would distract her all day.  They would have 
tonight, she decided.  Tonight, and every night.  Now that she 
had Fox Mulder, she was never letting him go. 

With a great deal of regret, Scully unclasped her hands from 
Mulder's firm grip and slipped from underneath his arm and the 
blankets.  He stirred as she started to get up, and asked 
sleepily, "Scully?  Wha time'sit?"

"Shhh," she whispered.  "It's a little before six.  I need to 
go home and shower before work.  I'll see you at about 8 or 
so.  Go back to sleep, I'll set your alarm.  Ok?"

"'Kay," he mumbled, closing his eyes.  She reached over and 
quickly set his alarm for 6:45.  As she turned to search for 
her clothes, her glance fell on his sleeping form and her face 
softened.  She bent, lightly brushing her lips over his and 
running her hand over his cheek before turning toward the 
bathroom.  With her back turned, she didn't see him open one 
eye and watch her walk naked into the bathroom.  He fell back 
asleep with a slight smile on his face and a content feeling 
he hadn't felt in more than two decades.

In the bathroom, Scully quickly dressed and finger combed her 
hair.  No need to share with the whole world the knowledge 
that she'd made love all night and enjoyed it.  It was her 
little secret.  Her's and Mulder's, that is.

As she picked up her jacket, she studied his sleeping form.  
"I'm on the right path," she whispered, "the only path."  She 
let herself quietly out of the apartment.



The End. 



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