From: "tiac" Date: Thu, 23 Jul 1998 15:15:22 -0400 Subject: Pay Attention When I hug You (1/1) Pay attention when I hug you. . . A.S. Archives: Sure! (fine, whatever) just keep my addy on it. Keywords: MS UST Vignette Angst Rating: Pg-13 for language Spoilers: The End Summary: Dana is feeling insecure. . . Disclaimer: No money. At all. Zero. CC, Ten-Thirteen, Fox: Money. Me? No money. Authors note: I got kind of foul-mouthed with this one. Sorry. I am fucking mad. What the hell did I do to deserve this life? Mulder looks at me now, and I feel like I could hit that sniveling, smirking, puppy-dog face of his. That will teach him to look so frigging in-control. Oh yeah right, in-control. That little child you see there can't even tie his shoes. He thinks he can take on the world. "The Truth is Out There" big fucking deal. All I got for the truth was a fatal disease and my big sister shot in the head. Like I need this. I could just walk away like nothing happened, but then I would have to live with that face in front of me for my whole god damned life. Life isn't fair. Like I wanted to be Mrs. Spooky, like I wanted to dig up corpses for a living. Yeah right. Mulder asks me the same old question. "Are you okay?" Damn. What the hell do I say now? Say yes; well Dana, same old situation. Same old clich=E9 that no one believes. Say no; well Dana now what? Admit you are weak. Yeah, and my father got the Congressional Medal of Honor. No matter what you do Dana, you're always going to be up the fucking flagpole. So answer what is in your heart. "Shut the hell up Mulder." Oh now isn't that cute. Real tactful Scully, the man just lost his future and you tell him to go to hell. Well at least that wipes some of the smug self-pity off his mug. Now he just looks pissed off. So I was a recalcitrant teen. Life carries over Dana. Just don't ruin it. Yeah? Well who the hell cares, huh? Sure I love the guy. Sure every minute of my life is some sort of lewd sexual fantasy, all of which involves him. Yes he is the man I've been looking for all of my life and when he speaks to me the heavens open up in a celestial downpour which is so joyous that I could just melt into a damn puddle down here in the basement, the fucking basement which causes my grief and relieves my pain. My whole life is down here. It used to be anyway. Now it is being carted away on a god damned Uhaul truck towards god-knows-where in particles of charred paper. So it's your life buddy. It's mine too. That smoke-spewing bastard ruined it for me. So pay attention when I hug you, Damn it!