From: enigma806@aol.com Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 09:37:59 EDT Subject: xfc: NEW: Perspectives V: Sappy Love Songs (1 0f 1), PG Source: xfc AUTHOR: Kate Mulder EMAIL: Enigma806@aol.com FEEBACK: YESYESYESYESYES! :-)~ TITLE: Perspectives V: Sappy Love Songs RATING: PG SUMMARY: No, this series isn't over yet. Maggie has a few things she'd like to say as well. DISCLAIMER: Sure, fine, whatever. Not mine, never will be, don't own 'em, not making any money. CC and Co. have all rights. Yadda, yadda, yadda. "I Knew I Loved You (Before I Met You)" is by Salvage Garden, and will reappear in another fic later. :) "I Need You" is by Leanne Rhimes (sp?). ARCHIVE: If you have the rest of the series, go ahead. If not, let me know so I can send them to you. (That's a "yes".) If I don't have the link, I'd appreciate it if you sent it to me. Distribute freely as long as the header is attatched. SPOILERS: "Requiem" (Again. Deal with it.), Scully abduction eps, "En Ami", "Wetwired". Tiny little ones for other eps (none from s7). CATEGORY/KEYWORDS: Vignette, Angst, Margaret Scully POV, a smidgen of MSR NOTES: Thank you so much to those who have supported the "Perspectives" series thus far, and have been patient with me while I turned my attentions to a few filks and the Kate Mulder series. I'm back on this one, because I needed something I could write fairly quickly, and I'm tired of short K.M. stories. As well as Wonderchild, I'm working on another long one right now. The title is "One Daughter, One Son", that's all I'll say. Ok, now that I'm done with this preview of coming attractions, I'll get on with the story. If you've read the other stories in this series, you know what to expect. If you haven't, you don't have to to understand, but I'd like it if you did. Shameless self-promotion... For missing parts, email me. I'll get back to Bill Scully POV one of these days... Am I the only one who has ever pictured Maggie as a light rock fan? Just wondering... Previous stories (all short vignettes) in this series: Perspectives Perspectives II Perspectives III: Frankly, My Dear... Perspectives IV: Every A.D. Has His Day ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. If I hear that song one more time, I am going to scream. It's floating to me from the living room again. As if hearing it on the radio every three hours weren't enough, now its on TV. "I know it might sound more than a little crazy, But I believe I knew I loved you before I met you..." That's all I can take before I head out of the kitchen to turn it off. Don't get me wrong, it's a pretty song. I'd appreciate it a lot more if my daughter didn't burst into tears every time she heard it. Before Fox disappeared, I had never given it much thought. But every time I hear it now, it reminds me of him. His and Dana's relationship. It reminds Dana of him too. And she starts crying. Part of it's hormonal--she's 7 months pregnant, after all. But part of it is a deep longing for the one person she wants most in the world to see. The one person who can't be here. She's holding up better than he did when the situation was reversed, I'll say that for her. It's probably because of the baby. She's wanted this baby so badly for so long that it's keeping her together. It's stopping her from totally breaking down. I remember what Fox was like when Dana was missing. He was a wreck, putting it mildly. I'll never forget the early November morning he showed up on my front porch, sobbing. Dana's cross was around his neck, and he looked...well, he looked like death warmed over. He kept telling me the same thing over and over, "I'm so sorry I lost her. I miss her so much." I felt so sorry for him then. That was the first time I realized that they were more than friends. Not lovers, no...but their relationship transcended the normal bounds of friendship. They didn't need a physical relationship...what they had was so much more. So much deeper. That's, framkly, the main reason I was willing to step between my (crazed) daughter, Fox, and a loaded gun. I figured she was stable enough not to shoot me. And I knew that not only would she never forgive herself if she shot Fox Mulder, she would never recover. It would drive her over the edge. Which is why I'm so glad that she's accepted that his disappearance isn't his fault. I don't know who took him, but damn them anyway. Damn them for doing this to my daughter. Damn them for having the audacity to think they can just mess with people's lives like this. Damn them for taking Fox away from the people who love him. The woman who loves him. Damn them for taking him away from his child. I know the baby's his. I also know he and Dana have never...well, you know what I mean. I've figured out from those three men that are always hovering over her (bless them--and A.D, Skinner--she's never needed them more) that something else is going on. Hideous experiements like they did when she was the one missing. She took a trip with one of the men behind the conspiracy about 7 months ago. I doubt the dates are a coincedence. Apparently this man thinks he's Fox's father...it wouldn't surprise me if he'd done it so he could have a grandchild to carry on the work. He's dead now, that man. And may God forgive me for saying this, but I'm glad of it. At least all of Dana's tests have come back clear. Her baby's (hers and Fox's, the tests have confirmed it) going to be healthy. Dana's miracle came from one of the devil's advocates. It's nothing short of amazing. But God had a hand in it too. I know that. This baby is healthy, unlike that poor little girl Emily. I think that's His direct work. And I am eternally grateful. Dana is too. I break from my musings long enough to turn off that song, and wipe the tears from Dana's face. She's sitting on my couch, sobbing. I take her into my arms, and do the only thing I can do--comfort her. She looks up a few minutes later, and wipes the tears from her eyes. Sitting this close to her, I can feel it when the baby stretches its tiny little arms and legs, and becomes a little more active. Dana sighs. "I swear, this kid's going to be an athlete." "Like her daddy?" I ask gently, wanting to offer Dana hope without upsetting her again. I'm rewarded for my efforts by one of her rare smiles. "'Her', Mom? Do you know something I don't." "Call it grandmother's intuition," I reply. "It's just a feeling I have." Dana leans back against the couch. "Well, in that case, *she* has been even more active than usual lately. I've almost convinced myself I'm really having twins after all!" "Well, what've you eaten?" I wonder casually. The look on her face obviously telling me she's wondering precisely what *that* has to do with the price of tea in China. "Um...a bagel...some soup, a salad...and a little bit of that chocolate brownie ice cream." "Well, there you go." "Huh?" I grin at her. "Dana, love, how many times do I have to tell you? You don't give a lot of sugar to small children! It makes them hyper." It's truly heartening to hear her laugh. Especially since I'd glanced at the calandar this morning. It's October 12. Whih, naturally, means that tomorrow is October 13. Fox's birthday. Dana reaches over and thurns the radio back on. A small, sad smile flitters across her face as the final strains of "Joy to the World" (that goofball song about that bullfrog) die out. I know it means something to her, and I swear I'll find out what it is one day. After all, I'm her mother. I'm entitled to know all her deepest, darkest secrets. She's kind of humming along with the next song, listening to the words, when her expression changes again. It's another sappy love song. A good one, but this one's really hitting home with her too, I can tell. "You're my only reason, You're my only truth. I need you like water, like breath, like rain... I need you like mercy from heaven's gate..." Truth. Isn't that what they've spent the better part of 8 years searching for? I turn the music off again, knowing she's trying not to cry. She doesn't want to, but it's tough for her. And I understand. It's been 7 years since my husband died, going on 8, and I still can't hear "Beyond the Sea" without getting a little misty-eyed. Just think, she's got raging hormones added to that. "Oh, Mom," she whispers, her voice constricted, "I miss him. I need him here." "You'll find him," I assure her. "Don't ever give up hope, Dana." "I don't intend to." "Fox has a lot going for him," I tell her, "a lot to come back for. He'll come back." The tiniest hints of a smile reappear on her face. My Dana's a tough girl...woman, whatever. She's going to make it. She'll survive tomorrow...with my help, of course. And with that of her friends. As long as I leave that stupid radio off... 6/22/00 Feedback adored! Enigma806@aol.com ----------------------------- "Make your neuroses work for you." --Fox Mulder in dee_ayy's fic "Short of Breath" "I was a hyper, teenage, funky chick, had an obession with a show and a Krycek kick." --"Bye, Bye to The X-Files, Bye" (a filk of "American Pie") by Sabalore "If a wild, man-eating, white Bengal tiger escapes from the zoo, and you go after with with a fly swatter...then CONGRATULATIONS! You're the world's stupidest person!"