From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Sun, 15 Aug 1999 07:24:53 -0500
Subject: The Project FanFic Challenge 99 presents: "Pickle" by Erin
Source: direct


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WRITTEN FOR THE PROJECT'S FANFIC CHALLENGE 99
www.geocities.com/Area51/Atlantis/4944/

To contain the following:

A) "It's a business like any other."
B) Either 1013 or 1121, in some form
C) Queequeg
D) An anonymous phonecall
E) Mulder's fish
F) A song by Alanis Morrisette
G) The Internet
H) The fact that nearly 1500 people died in the Titanic disaster due to
human error
I) A scientific, rational explanation
J) Mango-Kiwi Tropical swirl juice drink
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Disclaimer - I intend no infringement yada yada

PICKLE - Erin's fic

    Scully woke up coughing and glanced at the clock.
    "It's only **11:21**?  This night will never end!"
    She sniffled and popped a tylenol in her mouth, just wanting to get
to sleep.  But she had been waking up every twenty minutes since she
collapsed into bed around 8:00 at night.  She hated being sick.
    The telephone rang just as she was falling asleep again.  She hoped
it was an **anonoymous phonecall**, some rude telemarketer or a wrong
number, but somehow she knew it was Mulder.  And he was the last person
she wanted to talk to right now.
    "Dammit!" she mumbled, "Hello?"
    "Scully," Mulder's voice said, "Did I wake you up?"
    "I'd have to be asleep, Mulder."
    "Scully, I just got this case - "
    "Mulder, it's Friday night, I'm sick, and you're telling me about a
case?  This is usually the part where I hang up - "
    "Wait!  Just hold on....this will be right up your alley! 
Apparantly a man in Texas has been curing people who've come to him
with
sicknesses and - "
    "Mulder, that happens all the time, it's called the doctor's
office.....and I need to go to sleep."
    "But this is different.  He's not a doctor, he hasn't even passed
high school.  He's a kindergartener."
    "What!?!"
    "Yes.  His name is Wilby Shelton.  And everyone he touches has been
cured almost instantly."
    "So, are you telling me to cancel my doctor's appointment and pay a
visit to a five year old fingerpainter?"
    "You know me too well."
    Scully sighed.
    "Is this an X-file?"
    "Of course, unless you're going just to meet Wilby Howser, M.D."
    Scully hung up the phone, relaxed onto her uncomfortably hot bed
and
stared at the ceiling.  Then she dragged out her suitcase.

Bryan, Texas

    Scully slammed the car door and stretched her arms in the sun.
    "Ah!  Personal space!" she sighed happily.
    Mulder followed suit and then they walked together to a white tent
next to a big white house.  A sign with crudely written letters read:

        Religious healing - 25 cents

    A few letters were backwards and misshapen, obviously the handiwork
of a five year old.  Mulder looked around and sighed.
    "Well, let's pay your little magician a visit," Scully said.
    They pushed aside the curtain to find a five year old in a blue
cape
with gold stars counting his quarters.
    "Hi," said Scully.
    The boy looked up.
    "You didn't pay to come in here," he said bluntly.
    "Oh, we have to pay just to see you?" Scully asked astonished, "I
thought you only had to pay for the healing!"
    "**It's a business like any other**.  A five year old's got to make his
share, you know."
    They were impressed with the boy's businesslike manner.
    "If you'll just take a seat, I'll be with you in a moment," he said
and motioned to a few chairs that looked like they came out of his
kitchen.
    Mulder looked at Scully.  Scully looked at Mulder.  This was
obviously a business-savvy little kindergartener they were dealing
with.
    "For a religious healer he sure has low rates," Mulder said.
    The boy walked up.
    "Ok, how can I help you?" he said seriously in a child's voice. 
Scully found herself humming, **"Ironic" by Alanis Morsiette.**  This child
sounded like a car salesman!
    "You sure have low rates," Scully said sweetly, "why only 25 cents
if you're healing people?"
    "Me?  I'm humble.  I just want enough to get a candy bar at the end
of the week.  My mommy doesn't want me to eat too much sugar so I have
to get it myself."
    "Oh, a rebel are we?" Mulder asked.
    "Shh, don't tell her!" the child begged.
    "Wilby," Scully asked, "How did you start your....business?"
    "I was just playing magician.  That's all.  That's all I'm doing
now.  I'm a magician."
    "A magician?  But a magician who does religious healings, right?"
    "I don't really heal anything.....I just pretend to.  And then
everyone acts like they're so healthy.  But I know they're just playing
along."
    "Can you heal my friend here?" Mulder asked, motioning toward
Scully.
    "Did you pay your quarter?" the child asked suspiciously.
    "Of course!" Scully jumped in, "I'm even paying you a tip!" she
said
handing him a dollar bill.
    The child's eyes glowed as he took the dollar and marveled at its
green paper.
    "Hey, thanks, lady!"  he said as he turned to his money box.
    Once he turned around, Wilby smiled and stuck the dollar amidst
others like it under the change slots.  He thought, "I bet she thinks
she's the only person who's done that."
    Wilby turned around again with his innocent look.  Mulder thought,
"I bet he thinks he fooled us....."
    Wilby looked thoughtfully at the woman standing before him.  He put
his hand on Scully's forehead and said, "I heal you in the name of
God."
    Scully sat still.  Then she sniffed.  Her nasal passages were
clear.
 Her throat didn't ache.  Her eyes widened in amazement, but she
stopped
herself before Mulder noticed anything.
    "Well, thanks, Wilby, I feel much better now," Scully said.
    "My work here is done," Wilby said, "Go in peace."
    Scully smiled, patted Wilby on the shoulder and exited the tent.
    "Well?" Mulder asked.
    Scully continued walking as Mulder trailed her to the car.
    "Did it work?  I mean, are you healed?"
    "I feel....better...."
    "So it did work?  Wow!  Scully what do you think this could mean? 
Maybe.....he has some religious gift.....hell, what if he's some
angel...feigning innocence....pretending ignorance to his powers. 
Haven't you seen thing like that?  Don't you believe in things like
that?"
    "Mulder, I don't want to hear any of your crazy theories.  Even if
this child was a religious healer I'm sure there's a **scientific,
rational explanation.**  I haven't thought of it yet but....Mulder,
there's nothing more here than a five year old playing businessman and
a
bunch of neighbors playing along to humor him.  And somewhere along the
line a tabloid columnist picked up on the joke and tried to make it
something more!"
    "But what if that's what they want you to think?"
    "Who, Mulder?"
    "God...his angels.....it's not unlikely.  Everyone believes in a
religion, and a lot of them believe in angels.   Hasn't God sent
prophets before?  Maybe this child is another "Messenger of God," and
maybe this is something you just have to have faith in.  According to
Catholicism, God's son came as a peasant, not a king or a president. 
Maybe this time he came as a boy pretending to be an innocent
magician."
    "Mulder, that's preposterous.  There's nothing here!  Let's go
home."
    "You won't even look a little more into it?"
    "I'm not investigating a five year old's play habits."
    "Why, it won't look good on your record?"
    "It won't look good anywhere!" Scully yelled impatiently.  She
suddenly felt guilty.
    Why couldn't she tell him?  Why couldn't she just admit that her
entire cold had dissipated by the time Wilby Sheldon had took his hand
from her forehead?  Because if she admitted that something had happened
it would open too many doors to her, too many possibilities for her
handle?  If the idea was too inconceivable to face would she pretend
forever that her rational scientific explanation would come?  How long
could she hide behind her facts?
    The truth was out there, but she wasn't ready for it.  She sighed.
    "Can we go?" she moaned exhausted.
    "Sure....**my fish** are probably getting hungry anyway......I forgot
to
feed them."
    "You forgot to feed your fish?  Very responsible...."
    "Hey, who's dog got eaten by an alligator?  Huh?"
    **"Queequeg!"** Scully squeaked as the memory came.
    As they left, little Wilby peeked his head out of his immaculate
tent.  His bright eyes glowed heavenly and his body was surrounded in a
soft white glow.  From inside his tent he flapped his wings a few times
to stretch them.
    "Ah...personal space," he said happily, then made them disappear,
for another customer was coming.  "Wilby" folded his hands together and
sat at his desk, a toybox, and waited for the next person he would
bless.  He set his box of quarters to wait off to the side until he
brought them to the local church.
    "How can I help you?" he asked glowing with childish glee.

Washington D.C.

    Scully checked her e-mail on the **internet** at home.  Nothing.  But
work, of course.  Then a letter caught her eye.  It was from someone
who
claimed to be from Bryan, Texas.  When she opened it, it read:

    "Nice doing business with ya'"

    She looked at the letter with squinted eyes, wondering.
    "Nah, must be Mulder....." she said and closed the message.
    She took a sip of her **Mango-Kiwi tropical swirl juice drink**.  When
Mulder said he'd take her for a drink, she didn't expect to get Hawaii
in a blender.
    "It is pretty good, though," she thought.
    She started thinking about "Wilby."  It seemed, from her Catholic
education, that God sent his prophets and angels when the world was in
terrible turmoil.  The fact that she would allegedly come upon one
wasn't by chance was it?  And that one would even perform a miracle, if
that's what it was, on her is quite an honor.  Or was it a sign that
she
needed to fix something in her life.  Or that mankind should as a
whole?
 Were these even her thoughts or God's ideas put in her brain?  Scully
was perplexed.
    "Hmmm...the errors of humanity:...abortion....death penalty?  Of
course there's always things like **the Titanic, where people (1500 to be
exact) died strictly from human error**.....or maybe it wasn't the error
but the fact they made a movie about it.....speaking of movies, "The
Exorcist" is on at 8:00...."
    And Scully's mind wandered to "The Exorcist" and then to her bed
where she fell asleep easily by 11:30 and slept all night.....

THE END!!!