From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 16:01:12 EDT
Subject: The Point of No Return

This is for all of you who just happened to have a pack of flying elephants 
come cascading through your fireplace and completely destroy your 
house........................ actually, this story has nothing to do with 
that, but I had a funny mental picture and felt like sharing it with you. 
Anywhoo, enjoy =)

Scully's apartment
10:09 p.m.

Special Agent Dana Scully was having a highly enjoyable time at her computer. 
She had just completed her daily ritual of a five hour mud wrestling contest 
with a constipated French golden retriever. Since her water supply had become 
depleted ever since that "Draino" incident (just don't even ask), Scully 
wasn't, to say the least, smelling up to her highest potential. Let's just 
say that seven pounds of Lilac perfume just doesn't do the trick. Anyway, I 
should get onto the point. As she was surfing the net and doing some 
........um......... research, her cell phone rang and it was, you guessed it, 
Mulder. What Scully didn't know was that Mulder had just stumbled across a 
MAJOR discovery (that's a new one) and he was insisting that she meet him at 
the Whitney Housten National Airport. Trying to talk herself out of it, 
Mulder threatened that if she didn't come, he would tell Frohike that she 
decided to go out on a date with him. So, Scully drove down to the airport 
and to her surprise, Mulder and about five hundred Irish Mafia members were 
gathered in the lobby.
"Mulder, what's going on?!" Scully asked.
"There's the birthday girl!" Mulder announced. "Hey, I decided that since I 
never remember your birthday, that I would throw you a surprise party. How do 
you like it?" He motioned to the Mafia people who were playing a rousing game 
of the limbo and an interesting version of Jenga where you stack up anything 
either dead or mutilated instead of boring pieces of wood.
"Well, it would be great if it was my birthday!" Scully yelled, extremely 
ticked off.
Suddenly Mulder looked terrified and ran screaming into the men's bathroom. 
Scully turned around and saw a beautiful woman walking towards her. "Hey," 
Scully said to her. "Why was he so scared when he saw you?"
The woman looked confused and said,"Well, Fox asked me to come down here for 
a surprise."
"He asked me the same thing!"
"Oh, he must have gotten confused. You gotta feel sorry for an unorganized 
person like him."
Once Mulder came out of the bathroom, Scully ran up and slapped him. All of 
the Mafia gang turned around to see the action going on. They all just 
shrugged and returned to their activities. Mulder leaned down to Scully and 
whispered,"Scully, this isn't what you think. That woman is a shape-shifting 
alien. I had a vision and in the vision, a large hotdog told me to go to the 
Land of No Return. What that has to do with her, I have no idea, but the 
point is, is that she is here to kill us all. Except for maybe that cute 
little kid over there."
Finally believing him, Scully shot the woman to see if she bled the toxic 
blood. To her dismay, the green bubbly stuff came out and caused everyone in 
the airport to fall to their knees. The woman, laughing, ran off to Bath and 
Body Works to get some Raspberry bath bubbles and then jumped into her 
spaceship, never to be seen again. It is quite a mystery as to why she didn't 
kill anybody since she was very capable. All I know is that to this very day, 
Mulder never even bothers to remember Scully's birthday. Let alone to 
celebrate it. And with that final message, I wish you a good night.

The moral of this story is.................. Man, that was really stupid.