From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 03:18:02 +0000 Subject: Possible Scenario Source: direct Title: Possible Scenario Author: Barenaked Bostonian Distribution: Anywhere and everywhere, have fun with it, but drop me a line, I LOVE TO BRAG!!! Disclaimer: SNooCHieS BooCHIeS! No WaY! DisCLAimErs ARE foR SucKAs! Spoilers: Tithonus Category: UST Rating: PG Notes: I started this in academic word processing, and it felt nice to finish. I don't care if you hate it! Feedback: Me lives for feedback! Feedback helps put me through school, ayuck!!! BNLXPhile12@aol.com, or you can IM too, that's fun!!! Summary: What Mulder was thinking, if he was there, what would have happened?. ~*~*~*~*~*~ I can hear the tick-ticking of the wall clock. It pounds in my ears, even though on any other night it will lull me into oblivion. I find it hard to think, and I don't know why. Sleep can't find me and I can't find it. Everytime I try to seek it, it runs away and ducks into the corner. And everytime I reach for it, and it is just out of my grasp. She's in the hospital, and I saw her today. She was pale and sick, and she threw up three times while I was there. That would be three times in four hours. She hadn't eaten while I was there and she hadn't had anything to drink. I was wondering what was coming up if she had said she had had nothing to eat. Blood. Blood is what came up. And a slimey substance that looked like bile. She tried to make light of it by saying it was just leftovers from breakfast. I prayed that it was left over and not killing her at the same time. Before this, the only person who I had seen throw up blood was a suspect in VCS just before he died. He had had a rip in his intestinal wall , and all the blood that was congealed in his stomach had proved too much to hold. The only thing that I could picture, was Scully, on her knees, throwing up blood endlessly. I could see her rosy cheeks drained of her life, as her it was being forcefully emitted from her body. Her life spilling in the bathtub and her tears running down her cheeks. I couldn't bear that. Neither could she and I knew it. She was doing it again. She was hiding her feelings from me, convientiently using that brick wall that she had constructed to block me out. It's not enough that I love her, it's that I am her partner... and she wouldn't tell her partner. Parteners needed to tell each other what was on their minds, to comfort them, to kiss their tears away and them how sorry they were... But maybe that's just me. I sat with my elbows balanced on my knees. My hands looked like they were praying, my lips pursed to my index fingers as I stared down into nowhere. I was lost in thought andcould feel her eyes onme. They bore into my lids, which were still focused downward. She had an interested look on her face, her head tilted to the side. Her cup of water forgotten. "I can't watch you die." I say suddenly, still staring, I didn't even bother to look her in the eye. MY words held all of the hurt that I felt. "I'm not going to die." Her eyes were still on me, but her hands were playing with the hem of the blanket which she wore. "Eventually, at some point. You will because of me." She began to speak after a moment but I interrupted her. "And I know it's your quest too... but Scully, is it worth dying for? Do you want to lose your life?" I sighed. "It was selfish of me to ask you to stay. I'm sorry." I finally look at her, my eyes dark and sad, holding volumes of what pain and fears I felt. "Ritter screwed up, that's the bottom line. Mulder, we all make mistakes." She tried to somehow tell me what she felt, but it was useless, I had stopped listening to her rational. "Ritter almost got you killed. God damn it, he shot you! He shot you, and there are pictures. You know he shot you..." My eyes now hold anger. I was pissed, and getting more so by the second. "He shot me, I know. Mulder, if you had been there..." "If I had been there what? Would I have shot you? That's what I'm wondering Scully. What if I was in his place? What if *I* shot you?" "Is that what you're wondering Mulder?" "Scully, Ritter didn't think, he saw. He hated... he hated Fellig. Scully, would I have shot you? Would I?" I had tears in my eyes, I could feel them. I was pacing the room, my head was in my hands, and I shook it back and forth. "Mulder..." "Scully, how can I know? How can know if I would have killed you? I would have killed you!" "You're not making sense." She sat up straighter in the bed and swung her legs over the edge. "I know I'm not. I wouldn't have shot you, would I?" "No, no you wouldn't have." "You're sure? I would not have killed you." "I'm not dead." "I wouldn't have shot you." "... I don't know. I can't see the future Mulder, I can't see the past for that matter either. The only thing that I know is that I have faith in you, and I trust you with my life, isn't that enough?" I kneeled down in front of her and thought for a moment. The tears were not lingering there any longer but my eyes still held a regret. A regret that I felt in my heart as well. "Scully, I wish I had been there, I wouldn't have, I mean, I know I wouldn't..." but I trailed off, my voice thick with unbridled emotion and it killed me to think... that I would have shot her. "Mulder," She spoke softly to me as if I were a butterfly that she didn't want to scare away. "It's done, it's over, I'm here. Let's just leave it at that. I'm alright now. But I can't handle talking about this anymore, and neither can you. Go back to the motel and get some sleep." Pondering her, I picked my head off of my chest and looked her in the eye. "I'm not leaving you. And I don't care what you say, I'm staying right here." Surprisingly, she didn't fight me. "Fine Mulder, but I'm warnign you, hospital chairs can be uncomfortable... I shoud know." Her smile healed me, and I sat down. ~*End*~