From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 16:52:52 -0500
Subject: Promise Broken (1/2) by Shanda Weeks
Source: direct

Reply To: ShanaGail26@hotmail.com


Title: Promise Broken

Author: Shanda Weeks

Rating: NC-17 

E-mail: shanagail26@hotmail.com

Category:  SRA

Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance

Archive: Gossamer, Ephemeral, 2001 Spooky's - NO
Anywhere else, please e-mail me first so I can
visit.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.

Summary:  Mulder makes the ultimate sacrifice for 
Scully, and it pisses her off!

**************************************************


"PROMISE BROKEN"



I really hate this. I hate it when Scully plays the bait. 
But, I had no way to disagree without really pissing her 
off. Scully thinks I shouldn't worry. That it's just the 
same if it's me or her playing that part. She doesn't 
understand. It's different to me. 

I know, that sounds really egotistical and chauvinistic 
of me to say. I *know* she's had the same training as I 
have, I *know* she can take care of herself. I *know* 
that she doesn't need me to protect her. I just can't 
help it. I *need* to take care of her, protect her. I 
want to be able to keep her safe. It isn't because I think 
she needs it. It's because I love her. You can't fault a 
guy for that...can you? But, I try, for the sake of her 
friendship -- and now our relationship -- to not let it 
bother me.

Yes, I said relationship. But we'll get to that in a 
minute. First of all, let me explain why I'm running 
off at the mouth about Scully playing bait. We are at 
this little restaurant waiting for a man that we believe 
has been abducting and murdering waitresses in DC and 
the surrounding areas. Scully is playing bait...literally. 
I've just been informed that she's the only one in there 
and has been for quite some time...and the agent assigned 
to cover the alley entrance had decided to take a leak 
behind a dumpster. So, now I'm racing for the side fire exit, 
my weapon drawn, hoping desperately that she's still okay. 
I know that if everything is all right I'll be in trouble 
when this is over for this, but right now all I can think 
of is her safety. I can only hope that she'll be able to 
see that it wouldn't matter if we were involved or not, I 
would still react this way. 

You see Scully and I sat down one day about two months ago 
and really talked. About a lot of things. About us mostly 
and where we were going together. We had both known for 
quite a while that our relationship was changing, growing 
somehow. I have known for years that I love her. I even 
told her once. But she has never said those words to me. 
And I have never attempted to tell her again. I figure 
she knows how I feel. And someday, when she's ready, 
she'll tell me how she feels.

We have talked a lot these last few months. Mostly about 
the fears that kept us apart. She's scared. She's afraid 
that it will change the way we work together. She told me 
that her biggest fear was that I'd get myself killed trying 
to protect her from her job. Well, she really had me there. 
I would do anything...even die...to make sure she isn't hurt. 
But I couldn't tell her that. So, I made a promise that I 
have absolutely every intention of keeping...if I can. I 
promised her I'd never do anything stupid to keep her safe.

I'm not sure that she believed me, but it seemed to satisfy 
her somewhat. We started to 'date'. We've never done more 
than kiss and make out a little. I wanted to take it slowly. 
To make sure that we were both on the same page before we 
crossed that last line. I still need to convince her that it 
will work. But I think we've made progress. I hope so anyway. 
Three months tomorrow we've been doing this. A small smile 
crosses my face as I open the door and step quietly into the 
room. My glance is quick, as I have almost convinced myself 
that I worry too much. 

That however, flew right out of my mind when I entered the 
room to the left of the suspect. He didn't see me, but he 
did see Scully at the far end of the room. She was turning, 
but I knew that she wouldn't get turned around in time and 
her weapon was still tucked securely into her garter. My 
weapon was already drawn, but I knew in the second it took 
me to take in the scene that even if I shot him, Scully would 
still take his bullet. His finger was already squeezing the 
trigger as his gun came up. My heart stopped and for one 
brief microsecond I couldn't move. And then everything jumped 
into fast forward.

My body reacted instantly, almost without my conscious consent. 
I pivoted the half step it would take to get me directly in 
front of her and stepped forward, effectively shielding her 
body with mine. I was bringing my pistol up so that I could 
fire before anyone got hurt. But his weapon discharged first. 
And I was only about five feet in front of him. I'm not sure my 
brain registered the shot until it was too late. The sound of 
the shot came to my ears at the same time I felt the hot explosion 
of pain radiate through my chest.

I hear Scully's voice, filled with terror and grief, as the 
cold concrete floor impacts my back. I gasp and try desperately 
to draw a breath. I have to get up. She's still not safe. The 
pure panic I can hear in her words sends another rush of 
adrenaline into my blood stream. I try to raise my body from 
the floor. Then I hear the rapid firing of a gun. 

Oh god, I have to help her!

My body refuses to cooperate with my effort to stand and I 
finally give up, allowing my body to go limp and my eyes to 
close. It feels better here, in the dark. I can feel myself 
slowly sinking deeper in, falling away. And then there are 
soft hands on my face and her voice urgently calling my name 
in my ear. I force my eyes open and met her horrified gaze. 

I want to tell her its okay. She's safe; it'll all be okay. 
But I can't talk. I can barely breath and that is getting 
more difficult. I can taste the sharp tang of blood in my 
mouth and I feel like I'm breathing through water. It hits 
me then, I think I've been shot. I'm hurt bad, probably, 
from the numbing sensation that is spreading throughout 
my body, fatally. She's talking to me and I have to strain 
to make out her voice.

"Mulder...god...don't.... me now. Please...can't...need you." 

The words are disjointed and fading in and out. I'm sure 
I am only catching part of it. But the look on her face 
tells me the rest. She looks shattered. I don't think I've 
ever seen her look that way before.

".... love you...please don't.......me now. Not now."

I try to draw a breath and answer her, tell her I love her 
and I'm sorry. 

So sorry, Scully. 

The action causes me to choke and gag on the apparently 
large amount of blood in my throat. I feel cold, weak. 
I want to reach out to her. I had so many things I wanted 
to tell her. But I can't. I know that I'm about to die here 
in her arms. I catch her eye again and try desperately to 
tell her all the things I never got to say outloud. And 
then her image fades slowly away and I settle into the 
darkness that surrounds me.

*************

*************

I can't believe this is happening. No, god, this can't be 
happening. What the hell was he thinking?! I shudder and 
collapse onto the small couch in the waiting room. I am 
alone here for now. I'm not sure how long I've been here. 
Skinner and my mom were both here earlier, but I have no 
idea where they are now or how long they've been gone. All 
I can do is pace and sit and stare and pace and agonize over 
what happened today.

I have no doubt that Mulder saved my life today. He's done 
that before, but never like this......Never...oh god, I can't 
even think about it without tears running down my face. I 
am usually calm and collected in emergencies. But I just 
can't handle this one...

My brain just isn't comprehending what happened. Mulder 
took a bullet for me. He intentionally stepped into the 
path of that bullet to keep me safe. The knowledge that 
he did this for me rocks me to the core. 

Why? Was it because I am his partner, his friend? Or is it 
because of what we are to one another? 

I know that Mulder loves me. I love him, although I have 
never told him in words that I do. I think he knows it though. 
I hope that he always did. Because even though the words 
left my mouth for the first time today, I don't think he 
heard me. He just wasn't there anymore. I shudder again 
as I try to block out his expression the last time he looked 
at me.

So much emotion. So many unspoken words. But the thing 
that scared me the most was the look of acceptance. Like 
he had decided he was going to die. I shudder and fight 
with the tears that threaten to fall. 

He almost did. He almost bled to death in my arms at the 
scene. I held him in my lap, cradling his head against 
my chest, desperately calling to him. I tried to stop 
the bleeding. But there was so much blood...and it was 
such close range. That he even had a pulse when the ambulance 
arrived was a miracle. And one that didn't last long. He 
was flatlined when the ambulance arrived at the ER.

I draw a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to push 
the images away only to find the whole thing playing out 
in my mind again. Mulder stepping in front of me, the moment 
I realized what he had done, the complete and utter terror 
I felt when I saw the blood and clothes and flesh explode 
from his back. 

My body reacted on instinct before I could think. I emptied 
my clip into that asshole. Seven shots....all but three of 
them to the head. Those three hit his chest. Needless to 
say he was dead. He will never shot at anyone again. Somehow, 
even that thought does not help at the moment. It only 
feels bitter and cold to my heart.

And then my eyes fell on Mulder. And the huge pool of 
blood coming from his body. I cradled him in my arms, 
rocked him, begged him to come back to me. I told him I 
love him. Those words that I had wanted to say for so 
long and just couldn't. I can now. I only hope he heard 
me. I don't want him to leave me thinking that I didn't. 
I couldn't stand it if I thought he had never heard those 
words from me. It would kill me I think. 

No, I know it would. He has needed those words for so long. 
And I could have given them to him, but I didn't. I held 
myself back and now I'm not sure that he will ever know the 
way I truly felt. 

I realize with a start that I am crying again, but I am 
too weak and drained to do anything but let it go. I lower 
my head into my hands and sob. It's all that I can do. My 
whole life went with Mulder into that operating room. He 
has to live. I can't go on without him.

I hear the soft footsteps and look up. Mom and Skinner 
have returned. They look at one another and then mom comes 
over and wraps her arms around me. I try to pull myself 
together. Skinner is here. Mom knows about the changes between 
Mulder and I, but Skinner can't find out. It's not really 
working though. I am shaking terribly. Finally I manage to 
stop the tears and raise my head from mom's shoulder.

Then I see the doors to the operating ward swing open and 
a young man in surgical scrubs comes our way. I push away 
from mom and meet him halfway. He eyes me cautiously for 
a moment and I realize that I am covered in blood. 

Mulder's blood. 

My legs sway slightly and I draw a deep breath to steady 
myself before I speak. "How is he?"

Jesus, was that me? My voice is shaky and small. I sound 
like a frightened child. His face is grim and it makes my 
chest ache.

"Mr. Mulder is in recovery right now." 

Okay, breathe. That means he's alive. 

At least right now. 

"There was massive damage to the right side of his body. 
The lower lobe of that lung was almost totally destroyed. 
A ventilator is breathing for him right now. There was a 
lot of blood loss and his heart stopped again on the table. 
We managed to get it going again fairly soon, but considering 
all the other trauma we just can't be sure. We did all that 
we could do for him under the circumstances." He pauses and 
I try to pull my emotions back in check. "The rest is up 
to him. *If* his lung starts to heal and work on its own 
again, he has a fair chance of surviving. There are always 
the risks of complications from the surgery itself, along 
with infection. All that we can do now is wait....and pray."

I feel like my throat has closed up, but I have to ask 
the next question. "What are his chances of waking up and 
leading a normal life?"

The doctor's eyes dart away and then back to mine. I don't 
have to hear his words; I already know the answer. But I 
listen anyway as he speaks in a soft voice that is filled 
with sympathy. 

"It's hard to say. He could wake up tomorrow, two weeks 
from now, or he could never wake up. And we won't really 
be able to tell if there was any permanent brain damage 
from the loss of blood and lack of oxygen until he does 
wake up. I'm sorry."

With that the young doctor walks away and leaves us 
standing there. I feel absolutely numb. I can't move. 
Okay, Dana, breath. He's alive. He survived the surgery. 
That in itself is a good thing. He was so close to being 
gone. At least he's alive. 

But it doesn't feel like a good thing. I am a doctor. I 
know exactly what that doctor didn't say. They did all 
they could. *If* his lung starts to work again. Which 
means, they really don't think he will ever recover enough 
to turn off the ventilator. The fact that he survived the 
surgery is good, but it only means that it may end up being 
me that has to kill him. To turn off the machines that are 
keeping him alive. Could I even do that? 

I feel my knees buckle and then a pair of strong arms are 
wrapped around me. Skinner. But it doesn't matter. The 
floodgates open and I begin to sob uncontrollably. I can 
feel my mother's hands, gently soothing me, rubbing my back. 
I can't hold back the words any more and they come, pouring 
out almost incoherently.

"Oh, god. How could he do that? Why? I never got to tell 
him. He never even knew. He took that bullet for me and I 
never had a chance to tell him I love him too."

The words keep coming, but I'm not sure what I'm saying 
any more. Finally, all my tears are gone and I feel totally 
drained. Mom helps me into a nearby bathroom and I slowly 
wash the blood from my hands and arms the best I can. I 
am numb and my body is working on autopilot now. 

Mom hands me a change of clothes and I briefly wonder 
when she had time to go get them. I dismiss that very s
oon, as it requires more energy than I have right now. 
I can tell by looking at both of them as I exit the bathroom 
that they both think I should go home. 

I won't.

I raise my chin slightly in defiance and mom immediately 
nods her head. She understands. My eyes find Skinner's 
with more energy than I'm actually feeling and he studies 
me closely before walking over and sitting down in a chair. 
I take that to mean he's staying as long as I am and so 
I allow myself to be led into the Intensive Care Unit and 
to Mulder's bedside. 

To see him laying there, tubes and wires and IV's and 
machines connecting to him, keeping him alive for me, 
it almost undoes me again. He looks like he is already 
gone. My eyes fill with tears and I sink slowly into a 
chair beside his bed, my hand desperately clutching his. 
I lay my head over against his arm and close my eyes, 
trying to give him my will to live. The words form on my 
lips and escape on a soft whisper into the room, almost 
drowned out by the beeping of the various machines that 
are attached to Mulder.

"I love you, Mulder. Please come back to me. I need you 
here with me."

*********

*********

I am floating. Drifting in an endless sea of nothingness. 
I have no idea where I am or how I got here. All I know 
is that *here* is dark and warm and feels safe. Behind me 
lies a deep blackness - cold in its intensity. 

Yet I can hear voices from it. Soft, gentle murmurs that 
float through my body, setting my soul to rest. Ahead 
there is a soft light. It sort of glows with warmth and 
calm. I am drawn toward it.

I don't recall deciding to move forward, but I must be. 
The light is getting closer, starting to surround me. 
I begin to see images, faces, and shadows. As the surrounding 
fog gives way to the light I begin to recognize the images 
before me. 

Deep throat, Dad, Mom...people I have known and lost. 

All but one. 

My sister's soul still eludes me. Even with this 
unsettling knowledge, a sense of peace begins to wash 
over me. The images change, becoming memories. Samantha 
and I as children, my friends at Oxford, the academy, 
cases that I worked with Scully....

Then all the pictures stop and all I can see is her. Her 
hair glowing bright with the reflected light and her soft blue 
eyes shining at me. I twist my head frantically backward. 
All that lies behind me is darkness and voices. Then one 
voice pushes its way through the void behind me, reaching 
my ears as a soft caress.

Her voice.

I am torn. Scully waits on the other side of the dark for 
me. I can feel her presence at the edge of my consciousness. 
The peace that had begun to spread within me is instantly 
gone. I slowly turn back toward the light and the images 
and I am stunned to see one very familiar face and one that 
I vaguely recognize. 

Melissa Scully stands before me and with her is the man I 
have come to know through photos and stories as Captain 
William Scully. I know now what is happening. The decision 
before me is clear. To die and allow my soul some degree of 
peace or to live and go back to Scully. 

I am too stunned to speak and neither image before me offers 
an explanation. Yet, I somehow receive Melissa's message loud 
and clear. Scully needs me as much as I need her. Without any 
hesitation I turn and start back through the hazy blackness - 
back toward the voice that tugs so strongly at my heart and soul.

**********

**********

I sigh softly and twist uncomfortably in my chair. After 
sitting in it for so long I feel as though it is a part 
of my body. My eyes fall on the bed beside me. Mulder 
lies quietly, machines beeping steadily into the silence 
of the room. It has been almost two weeks. He still hasn't 
regained consciousness. 

My heart aches with the knowledge that everyday he sleeps 
he slips farther away from me. It is difficult to face my 
own medical knowledge of his condition when my feelings are 
so involved. And yet I know as I watch his still face that 
his chances...and therefore my own chance...slips farther 
away with each beep of that machine in the corner.

My eyes move across his familiar countenance. Mulder at rest 
is so peaceful. The deep lines of worry and guilt that he 
wears in his waking hours vanish into boyish good looks. 
I have often studied Mulder's face. I have always known that 
he sometimes watches me sleep. Well, I have a secret that 
I never told him...I watch him too.

I can easily recall many nights in various locations, rushing 
into his room to wake him from a nightmare, soothing him from 
half wakefulness back to sleep, and then watching...for hours. 
A frown furrows my brow as I realize why I have been so 
uncomfortable watching these past two weeks. 

His face is different. It no longer holds any life. It is 
too still. Too peaceful.

I feel the tears burning in my eyes and I clutch his hand 
tightly. This dull throbbing ache in my soul gets worse every 
day. And with each day that passes without his expressive 
hazel eyes smiling at me I feel more of my own soul dying.

"I love you, Mulder," I whisper softly, squeezing his hand. 

And he squeezes back.

My eyes fly open and I am instantly on my feet, leaning over 
him. His face looks a little more animated than it did a 
few minutes ago and his head is moving slightly back and 
forth. My heart is racing.

"Come on, Mulder. Look at me," I beg softly. 

And those soft hazel eyes I was just dreaming about flutter 
open.

I instantly see confusion and pain, and then it turns 
quickly into panic as he realizes that there is something 
down his throat. I reach out and touch his face, whispering 
soothing words through the tears that are streaming down my 
face.

***********

***********

My mind slowly becomes aware of my surroundings. My eyes 
open slowly and the first thing I see is Scully leaning 
over me. I become instantly aware of the pain that seems 
to be coming from everywhere all at once. Confusion floods 
my mind in that same instant.

Where the hell are we and what is going on? A split second 
later another sensation makes itself known. I am choking. 
Panic races through my system as I realize that something 
is down my throat, and I am gagging on it. I find Scully's 
eyes with my own and what I see there relaxes me. I slowly 
try to calm myself and listen to the words that she's 
whispering.

"Shh...it's okay, Mulder. Don't fight it - the tube is 
helping you breathe. You're okay."

Her words are soft and as their meaning penetrates my 
mind I hear the tears that lace them. For the first 
time I truly focus on the face that hovers so close to 
mine. Tears flow steadily from her eyes and she looks 
terrible. And then the reason for all of that comes slamming 
back into me. 

The shooting. I was shot. I reach weakly for her hand, 
wanting to connect to her and reassure myself that she's 
okay.

"Okay?" she asks. 

Well, Scully, not really, but I know what she's asking. 
So I raise one eyebrow and squeeze her hand lightly. 
The smile I get in return is worth any pain and suffering 
I ever have or ever will endure.

"I'm gonna call the doctor now, Mulder," she said, trying 
to wipe the tears from her face. I refuse to release her 
hand and she stops, her eyes once again filled with concern 
as she looks at me. 

What can I say? I mean, I have a tube down my throat, so 
I can't really tell her what's on my mind, but I need to 
at least try. For a long moment neither one of us moves. 
Then Scully gives me a soft, hesitant smile and moves toward 
the door. I close my eyes and wait, listening to the sounds 
and trying to figure out just how long I've been here.

They return a few minutes later, speaking softly outside 
the door before they enter. I open my eyes and find the 
doctor smiling at me.

"Well, Agent Mulder, it's nice to see you've decided to 
join us," he says lightly. 

Okay, smartass, make jokes. When I manage to get up I 
may have to rip your head off for them. He smiles broadly, 
almost as if he heard my thoughts. 

"Now, I know you can't talk, but I need to ask you a few 
questions and I want you to blink for me. Once for yes, 
twice for no. Okay?"

Okay. I blink my eyes once. Scully moves over and picks 
my hand up again. She seems almost afraid to touch me. 
We are gonna have to do something about that. And soon. 
But for now, the doctor is talking again, so I turn my 
attention to him.

After a series of quick questions, mostly related to did 
I know my name...like they would know if I am wrong...and 
did it hurt. Well, let's see, doc, I took a bullet to the 
chest at close range...yes, it fucking hurt you moron! I 
suppose it's a good thing I can't talk right now. 

Finally, the doctor leaves and Scully sits quietly back 
down in her chair. Damn it, I want to talk to her. The 
doctor said if I keep improving they might be able to remove 
the tube in a day or two. Until then...

I get her attention and make a writing motion in the air. 
She raises her eyebrow slightly and then digs into her 
briefcase, which I didn't see sitting there before, and 
withdraws a pen and a yellow legal pad. I try to move 
enough to see, but can't seem to get my body to cooperate. 
She finally takes mercy on me and helps me get the pen and 
paper positioned so that I can write. There are some things 
the doctor didn't answer for me.

'Scully, are you okay?' I scribble quickly. She reads 
the note and when she looks at me again I can see the 
astonishment in her eyes. 

"I'm fine, Mulder," she answers. I see her blink her eyes 
hard and then she smiles. "Now."

If I could smile back at her I would for that. Instead I 
take the paper again and write another note. 

'How long?'

"Two weeks," she whispers, her voice breaking. God, no 
wonder she looks so bad. I'm writing again and she's 
shaking her head at me. 

"You should rest, Mulder."

I insistently push the paper at her until she finally 
sighs and takes it. Her eyes cloud over and she shudders 
slightly. For some reason, that was not the response that 
I wanted. However, she doesn't seem willing to give me any 
other. 

I don't know why I'm surprised. But for some reason I am. 
I've told her that before, and she reacted in a similar manner. 
Somehow, this time, I thought it would be different. That 
she would be able to accept it as the truth and maybe, 
just maybe, return the feelings.

She doesn't say anything else, just sits down in her chair 
again. I shift slightly and close my eyes. I am tired and 
can feel sleep pulling me back down. With only a little 
disappointment I allow myself to drift off to sleep while 
she stands guard for me.

*********

*********

I stand in his bedroom doorway and watch him sleep. He 
looks so much better than he did even a week ago when I 
first brought him home. Mulder always was one to recover 
quickly from things. He spent a week at the hospital after 
he woke up. The doctors were really surprised that he 
recovered so quickly. I was too although I can't imagine 
why. I have always known Mulder to bounce right back. 

I sigh quietly and turn away from my sleeping partner and 
wander back to the living room. I still have to finish 
packing. I should be finished and gone before he wakes up. 
If I'm lucky. I know. I'm being a coward. 

But honestly I don't think I can do it any other way. 
I have to get away from him for a little while. I need 
to sort out my feelings and where we stand now. And Mulder 
is doing so much better. He doesn't really need a live in 
nurse now. Mom said she'd stop by to check on him some. 
I sigh again. I am only making excuses to make myself feel 
less guilty about leaving him. But I have to.

I can feel tears burning in my eyes and I move a little 
faster. I really don't want to cry here. But all I can 
think about is what happened. It was what I had always 
feared. Mulder took a bullet meant for me, because he 
loves me. 

I already knew that. He'd told me before, and if I didn't 
believe that I knew when he wrote it the other day in the 
hospital. I know it hurt him that I didn't say anything, 
but I couldn't. I really don't know what is wrong with me. 
The words came so easily when I thought he was about to die. 

I think that scares me as much as anything. I felt so bad 
that I hadn't told him before, wanted him to know that he 
was everything to me. But now that the opportunity is here, 
I am terrified to say the words. All I can think of is what 
he did. Would he have done the same thing six months ago?

Some part of me believes that he would have, but I can't 
shake the fear that I will ultimately get Mulder killed if 
I let us progress any farther. He doesn't need to protect me, 
but he always has. And I am afraid that it will only get 
worse. I absolutely refuse to be the reason that Mulder ends 
up dead. I can't live with that.

I hear a soft noise in the doorway and Mulder softly 
clears his throat. Shit! I didn't want him to wake up 
before I left. I slowly turn my head toward him, not realizing 
that I have been crying. When his eyes take in the way I look 
his face immediately registers shock and then fear. I can 
almost read his mind.

"Scully?" he questions softly, his voice asking all the 
questions his lips will not.

"Mulder, I'm..." my voice breaks and I clear my throat 
and try again. "I'm going away for a while. My mother 
will stop by to see if you need anything in a couple of 
days. Get enough rest and don't forget to take your meds."

I'm rushing the words out of my mouth as I back toward the 
door. He looks confused and upset. God, I really didn't want 
this to happen this way. He shakes his head slightly and opens 
his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I'll be back...sometime. If you need anything call mom." 

And then I'm pulling the door closed behind me. I can picture 
the look on his face, hurt and confusion. I feel terrible for 
walking out on him. But I have to do this. I turn and walk 
quickly down the hall, half-afraid that he will follow and 
half afraid that he will not. I'm not sure why I feel this 
way. Or what to do about it. The only solution that I have is 
to leave. Just get the hell away and sort out the way I feel. 

As I make my way to my car I am aware that the tears I had 
been fighting and shedding slowly were now a storm that made 
it almost impossible for me to see. I gulped a huge breath of 
air in an attempt to fight the sobs as I climbed into my car. 
My eyes went of their own accord to the window on the fourth 
floor. I knew he would be there. He stands still, watching me. 
I have to get away from here...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Part II
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"PROMISE BROKEN" - Part II

~~
~~




I lie here and stare at the ceiling quietly. It is way too 
damn quiet here. I sigh and the sound is loud and over-
powering in my bedroom. I am not sure what day it is, or if it 
is even daytime outside. I haven't left my bed except to use 
the bathroom in several days I think. I just can't seem to bring 
myself to face my empty apartment. It feels so cold and lonely. 
I sigh again close my eyes against the memories that replay 
through my mind.

Scully looked so upset when she left. That was...my eyes open 
and find my calendar on the wall. Damn, that was three weeks 
ago. I feel a deep ache in my chest that has nothing to do 
with my healing body. 

She left me. 

I know she said she'd come back. It was the 'sometime' that 
really got to me. I know that she is thinking of never coming 
back. That is why she left after all. She may not realize it, 
but I do know her pretty well. And I'm pretty sure I know what 
this is about. 

I push myself into a sitting position and run a hand through 
my hair. I fucked up this time. I have no idea how to make 
it up to her. Or how to say I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry 
doesn't really have a lot of weight when the next words 
would be 'yes I'd do it again at any time.' And I know 
she'd ask. I can't lie to her. She's all I've got left in 
this world and with each day that passes I know she slips 
farther away from me.

With a frustrated growl I roll off the bed and toward the 
shower. Maggie will probably come today. That thought brings 
a small smile to my face. True to what Scully told me, Maggie 
showed up two days later and took care of me, fussing with 
food and laundry and such. It was nice to have company. 

She's been coming once a week since then. I think today is 
the day. Unless I'm confused about the date. I really don't 
know how long I've been in the bed. I know I haven't eaten 
anything substantial since Maggie's last visit.

That thought brings a wave of guilt over me. Maggie will 
only worry about me. She is more like a mother than my 
own ever was. And I know that she sees me as one of her 
children. But hell, let her see how bad I look. Maybe she'll 
tell Scully for me. I sure as fuck can't tell her. She isn't 
calling me, but Maggie always knows that she's okay. I don't 
know why it hurts me so that she calls Maggie and not me. 
I mean, for god's sake, that's her mother! Of course she 
would call her. 

I sigh and step out of the shower. I am completely out of 
energy. I look at my reflection for a moment. I have lost 
weight. My skin is still a little too pale and I haven't 
shaved in a while. But all of those things could be attributed 
to the shooting. The thing that gets me is the haunted, 
broken look in my eyes. I've seen this look before, although 
not quite like this. 

And then it dawns on me, the reason for this intense way 
that I feel. Of everything Scully and I have survived, 
things beyond our control and our own petty differences 
and fights, we have always been able to trust the other. 
I suddenly understand what is different this time. I broke 
a promise to Scully. The only one that had ever been real 
for her. 

I suddenly don't feel so well and I weakly make my way back 
to my bedroom. I want desperately to go to sleep and forget 
all this stuff but the pain in my chest...both physical and 
emotional...and my damn photographic memory keep me awake. 
So I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the 
incredible emptiness that surrounds me.

 

***********

***********

I sigh and fiddle with the keychain in my hand. I have 
been standing in this hallway for almost an hour. I can't 
bring myself to walk down the hall and knock on the door. 
But I have to. It's time. I've been away long enough. It's 
time to go to Mulder and work this out. That is after all, 
what we do. Even if it did take me a while to realize that. 

I was so upset when I left and I couldn't really pinpoint 
any exact thing that had upset me so. I mean, Mulder getting 
shot certainly. But that was part of our job risk. And he 
definitely saved my life. Or at least spared me what I have 
watched him suffer these past weeks. 

So what was I so angry at him for? I mean, shouldn't I be 
overjoyed and thankful that he was alive? Instead I was 
seethingly angry. It was all I could do to be here with 
him. So I got away. And with a little time...a little, who 
am I kidding? 

It took me almost a week to understand what I was angry 
about. He broke his promise. And then that little revelation 
gave me pause. I mean, this isn't the first time that Mulder 
has recklessly done something he swore to me he wouldn't 
do. What did it hurt me so much this time?

And if the answer to that is because of our new relation-
ship we have a problem. Because I know how Mulder is and 
I don't expect him or want him to change. I love him just 
the way he is. Yes, I do love him. Even if I couldn't bring 
myself to say it after he woke up. But I can't let my own 
emotions rule how I react to Mulder on the job and so maybe 
I should examine my capability of having both relationships. 
So I had to understand why this broken promise was different 
than any other.

And that...well, that took me a *very* long time. Actually, 
I only just figured it out earlier today. And so, now here I 
am. I have to tell him why I left and why I'm back. I take 
a deep breath and start slowly down the hall, thinking about 
what to say to him. 

He had to know how I felt about all this. It wasn't that he'd 
broken the promise, or even that we have a different relation-
ship now. I mean, I knew that he would react that way. Long 
before we started seeing each other. But I also felt so 
betrayed. I have always had such a deep and complete trust for 
Mulder. And now, the first time I ask something serious of 
him on a personal level he lied to me. That's the whole thing. 
He lied to me.

Okay, that kinda sounds petty. But try to understand. I 
trust Mulder. I mean, he is the same man that I have trusted 
as my partner for seven years. I have always and will always 
trust him with my life. The question is, can I trust him 
with my heart and soul? 

I know that he loves me. That was never in doubt. I think 
maybe I've always known that. But now, in the light of his 
actions, I have to wonder if the trust I placed in him as 
just a man was misplaced. Can I trust him with my heart and 
soul like I do with my life? The implications of that question 
cause my stomach to churn nervously.

I reach his door and stand looking at the number on it for 
a long while. It's time to face Mulder and have the talk 
that we need to have. I love him, but I have to be able to 
trust him as well. I sigh quietly and use my key to unlock 
the door. 

I notice that my hands are trembling. I close my eyes 
briefly and take a deep breath. My entire life depends 
on what happens here today and for a second I am reminded 
of the day seven weeks ago that I waited outside a trauma 
surgery room with the exact same thoughts.

***********

***********

I am still laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling some 
time later when I hear a key turn in the lock. For a brief 
moment hope flares in my chest, then dies just as quickly 
as I remember giving Maggie my key last week. I can feel 
the familiar burn of tears in my eyes and hastily blink 
them away. There is no reason to let Maggie see me cry. 

Besides, I've done enough of that the past three weeks. And 
let me tell you, sobs and healing gun shot wounds to the chest 
are not things to mix. I feel worse physically now than I did 
when they sent me home from the hospital. Of course, Scully 
was here with me then, too.

I listen intently to the soft footsteps as they move around. 
They are hesitant, almost afraid. I hear them move into the 
kitchen and then pause. For a second I consider going to make 
sure it is only Maggie, but then change my mind. It hurts too 
much to move. So, if it is anyone else I suppose they can have 
whatever they want. And if they want me, well, I don't think 
I'll put up much of a fight today. I just really don't care 
that much at the moment.

The steps move toward the bedroom and I close my eyes, 
pretending to sleep. If it's Maggie, maybe she'll leave 
thinking I'm resting. I really don't think I can handle her 
good mood today. I try to keep my breathing steady as I 
listen to the person approach my open door. Then I feel the 
presence enter the room and before she makes a sound I know 
who it is.

"Mulder?" Her voice wavers slightly on the soft question. 

I would almost rather not look at her. Maybe she will think 
I'm asleep, too. Then I sigh deeply. I can't hide from this. 
Slowly I open my eyes to look at her.

Scully stands uncertainly before me. My heart jumps a bit 
as I look at her. The sight of her beautiful face after 
three weeks fills me with happiness, yet I can not shake 
the feeling of dread that has taken up residence in my 
stomach. She looks horrible and for some reason I feel 
that this is my fault too. I did this to her. I can't look 
into her eyes anymore, so I allow my eyelids to slip shut 
and remain silent. It is her turn to sigh.

"Mulder, we have to talk," she whispers. 

I can only nod my head because of the large lump that has 
formed in my throat. I still don't open my eyes to look at
her. In the small stillness that follows I hold my breath 
and my mind picks up a silent chant.

Please don't leave me, Scully. Please don't go.

***********

***********

I unlock the door and step hesitantly inside. The first 
thing I notice when I enter the living room is how empty 
and quiet the place is. My eyes take in the room quickly. 
It doesn't look like it's been lived in for a while. 

A small knot forms in my throat as I make my way slowly 
into the kitchen. It looks the same in here. I notice that 
the dishes mom said she washed are still in the drainer and 
there doesn't appear to be any new dirty ones. Well, either 
Mulder has taken up cleaning, isn't here, or hasn't eaten 
since mom was last here. I draw a deep breath, almost dreading 
what I'm going to find when I make my way to the bedroom.

Okay, Dana, time to face it.

I sigh and start toward the bedroom door. When I reach the 
doorway I pause. I see Mulder lying across the bed. He 
appears to be asleep at first and I move carefully into 
the room to stand at the foot of his bed. But I can tell 
he's not asleep now. However, I think he would almost like 
for me to think he is.

"Mulder?" My voice sounds shaky to my own ears. 

Mulder hesitates slightly and then I hear a soft sigh. 
His eyes flutter slowly open to met my gaze and I find 
myself face to face with the deep, swirling hazel eyes 
that have haunted my dreams for so long now. I watch his 
face fill with sadness and then he allows his eyes to close 
again, shutting me out. This time I sigh. 

"Mulder, we have to talk," I say quietly, my heart pounding 
in my chest. 

Mulder nods his head miserably and I suddenly notice the 
terrified look on his face. Even though I can't see his 
eyes, I know what Mulder's thinking, and I also know why. 
I really hadn't meant for my words to sound the way they had. 
I also understand suddenly that several seconds have gone by 
and I still need to say something to him.

Well, so say it already! If only it were that easy. I know 
that I have to tell him everything. He has to know everything, 
and that includes how I feel about him. That's what I came 
here for, but it doesn't make the words any easier to say. 
I draw a deep breath and prepare to open my entire being to 
Mulder. Not like he doesn't already have it, I have just 
never told him that it belongs to him. So maybe that's a 
good place to start.

"I love you, Mulder," I say, my voice surprisingly strong 
and sure in the stillness of Mulder's bedroom. 

His eyes fly open and he just stares at me for a long 
moment. I see him start to open his mouth to speak, probably 
to return my words, but I'm not ready for that yet. That's 
not why I told him. So I silence him with my own words.

"I know, Mulder. You've told me in so many different ways, 
so many different times. I just needed to say that, that's 
all." 

He gives me an uncertain smile and continues to look at 
me. I have his complete and undivided attention now, even 
though he still looks a little scared. Okay, so here I 
go...

"I want to make sure that you know how I feel, Mulder. 
It's important to me -- *you* are important to me." I 
stop to draw another shaky breath and discover that the 
words I hadn't been able to find earlier were now flowing 
freely through my mind. And across my lips.

"God, Mulder," I whisper, my voice catching slightly with 
anguish. I swallow and try again. "When I thought you were 
going to die I was so scared. I watched my whole life slipping 
away from me and there was nothing I could do. Because 
that's what you are to me, Mulder. My life, my strength, 
my faith, and the one thing that makes it all worth while. 
And I stood there and watched helplessly while you put 
yourself in the path of a bullet - a bullet that was meant 
for me."

I shake my head slowly, closing my eyes against the swell of 
emotion. I can feel my body trembling as I recall everything 
I saw and felt that night just as clearly as when it was 
happening. When I speak again my voice is tight and low with 
barely contained tears.

"I stood in the waiting room of that hospital, praying that 
you'd survive, that I'd see you again, have the chance to 
tell you all the things I wanted to say. And every time I 
closed my eyes, allowed my brain to function beyond your 
survival, all I could see was him shooting you, you stepping 
in front of that bullet, over and over..." my voice breaks and 
the tears begin to flow steadily down my face. 

I take a deep breath and try to steady myself as I watch him. 
Mulder hasn't moved at all, his eyes locked on my face. I can 
see the emotions playing across his face clearly and I hate that 
I'm making him feel this, but he has to know. If we are going to 
have a relationship - and I so want us to - we have to work this 
out.

"I kept remembering the last person that took a bullet for 
me," I whisper softly. "The circumstances were different, 
she didn't do it intentionally. But all I could do was think 
of how much the two had in common. Two people that I loved...
one gone forever and the other barely holding on a few rooms 
away while I stood there and waited helplessly." 

I can't speak anymore for the lump in my throat. I watch 
Mulder with eyes made blurry by tears and struggle to control 
the sobs that wrack my body. I see immediately when what I 
have said sinks in for him and I can see that he won't be 
silent any longer. I am surprised that he held his tongue this 
long.

**********

**********

I have sat silently during her whole speech. I could tell 
she needed to talk, to say everything that was on her mind. 
But now...I can't just sit here any longer. As the words 
click in my brain I can feel my heart shatter all over again. 
God, how could I be so stupid? I should have realized what 
she would think of, known how she would feel. Because I would 
have felt the same thing if the situation were reversed.

Now I need to tell her everything. A small part of my brain 
knows that this is the biggest test Scully and I have ever 
faced and the outcome of today will determine the rest of our 
relationship. And with that knowledge, the part of my soul 
that can't live without her takes over.

"God, Scully," I whisper, my voice shaking with emotion. "I 
never realized - but I should have."

I raise up on my knees on the bed, ignoring the slight twinge 
of pain in my right side. The tears that are streaming down 
Scully's face make everything else irrelevant. I put that 
broken, tearful expression on her face and it feels like my 
heart is being ripped out because of it. I allow my heart to 
take over and the words fall easily from my lips.

"I love you so much, Scully. You are the other half of my 
soul...the good half. You have made me a much better man with 
just your presence these last seven years. I need you with 
every part of my being. I'd be lost without you, Scully."

I pause and search her face. What I see shining in her 
cloudy blue eyes gives me enough hope to go on. I am drawn 
toward her, knee walking slowly across the bed. That small 
part of my brain that is still detached from this bitterly 
reminds me of the last time I walked toward her, my soul 
pouring out of my mouth. But even that can't stop me now.

"I would *never* intentionally hurt you. I know I did and I'm 
so sorry. I never meant to hurt you that way. I didn't think..." 
my voice breaks and I struggle to keep talking even as 
I feel the tears start to fall down my own face.

"When I walked into that room - Jesus, Scully. All I could 
see was what was about to happen. He was going to kill you 
right there. He *knew*."

I have stopped at the end of the bed. Scully stands just out 
of arms reach and we are eye to eye. She is watching me 
carefully, her face full of confusion, hope, and love. 
I stare intently into her eyes, willing her to see my soul. 
If I can make her see, show her what she is to me, then 
maybe I still have a chance.

"I didn't have a choice, Scully. I *had* to do something. 
You are my partner, my friend, and so much more. You are my 
whole life, Scully. I couldn't just watch you die. Not before, 
not then, and not ever. It will never change because the way 
I feel about you will never change."

"Mulder, I -" she starts in a shaky voice. I interrupt her 
quickly. I'm not finished yet. I have something else I have 
to say to her.

"I could never live without you and I think it would kill me 
to see you die. I suppose it never occurred to me that you 
could feel the same way. But it should have and for that I am 
so very sorry.

"I know that I can never erase what I did, Scully. I know that 
I can never make what I did any better. I also know that I 
can't always protect you...that you don't need me to protect 
you. But, Scully, sometimes *I* need to be able to at least 
*try* to keep you safe. 

"Our jobs are a huge risk. Add to that the kind of thing we 
normally end up in and I realize that the risk is never going 
to go away. I can even accept the possibility that the path we 
chose to follow at work can take you away from me, that I can't 
always be there for you. But I need to know that you can accept 
those risks too. And that you can understand my desire to keep 
you as safe as I can, no matter what the cost."

I reach my arms out hesitantly, a silent plea for understanding. 
My eyes are still locked with hers, saying so much more than my 
lips ever could. She stands still for a second, her heart clearly 
displayed on her face. I can see when she's decided, but she 
still hesitates. 

"Please, Scully," I plead softly.

And she crumbles into my arms, burying her head in my chest 
and wrapping her small arms around my neck. I wrap my arms 
tightly around her, holding on for dear life.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, Scully," I repeat over 
and over into her hair.

**********

**********

I stand here completely amazed. Mulder knew exactly what I 
was feeling and why. I watched him pour his heart and soul 
out onto the bed between us. I know what that took for him, 
just as he knew what it took for me. His arms reach out for 
me slowly, the question clear in his eyes. I search his eyes 
for a long second before I realize that what I'm looking for 
has always been there. There was really no decision to make. 
And then he speaks again.

"Please, Scully," he whispers, his voice husky and raw.

I can't stand up anymore and I fall into his arms. This is 
where I have needed to be all these weeks. This is where I 
longed to be when he lay unconscious in that hospital bed. I 
bury my head into his chest and wrap my arms around him. He 
responds by tightening his hold and pulling me closer to him. 
We are both now on our knees on the bed; our bodies pressed so 
tightly together that air couldn't even get between them. 

I can hear him talking quietly into my hair, but I'm not sure 
what he's saying. It doesn't matter. All that matters now is us. 
I slowly push myself away from him and meet his questioning eyes.

"I accept all those risks on a daily basis, Mulder. I have 
everyday for the past seven years." I carefully place my hand 
over his heart, marveling that, after all we've been through 
it still beats steadily. "I will do so every day for the rest 
of my life."

I have only a second to see the awe struck expression on Mulder's 
face before his lips claim mine in a long, hot kiss. I immediately 
kiss him back, drawing his lower lip into my mouth and sucking 
on it gently. He pulls away slightly to breath and I say the only 
other words that are necessary against his lips as he's leaning 
back into me.

"I love you, Mulder, and I want you to make love to me."

A shudder races through his body at my words and I seal our lips 
together again. My hands run hotly up and down his back, nails 
scratching lightly across his skin. I smile to myself as I realize 
for the first time that Mulder is wearing only a pair of dark blue 
boxer briefs. My thoughts are interrupted when I feel his hands 
close over my breasts.

Oh god.

His thumb rubs across my nipple, causing it to strain against 
the material of my shirt. I am so hot already, from just this, 
that I can't believe it. I need to feel his skin against mine. 
I run my hands around to his chest and lightly brush across his 
flat nipples. He gasps quietly into my mouth right before his 
hands start to tug my shirt up.

We move apart long enough for him to pull the shirt over my head 
and then he is kissing me again. Good lord, I could kiss this man 
all day. His hands roam across the bare skin of my upper body, 
skipping around the white cotton bra that I still wear. Soon his 
fingers find the clasp in the back and my bra joins my shirt on the 
floor.

Then Mulder's mouth follows the path his hands had mapped across 
my torso. My hands found their way into his hair and I held him 
tightly to me. My nipples were aching with the need to be touched 
when he finally closed his lips around one. 

Holy Mary Mother of God!

I'm actually dizzy.

My whole body is buzzing with the sensation of Mulder's mouth 
wrapped around my breast. I realize that this is going to have 
to go a lot faster or I'm not gonna survive it. We'll have time 
for slow and gentle later, right now I need to feel Mulder...alive 
and well...deep inside me.

Now.

My right hand falls down his chest and lands just above the 
waistband of his shorts. He doesn't seem to notice, as his mouth 
is still busy kissing it's way across my stomach. I slid my hand 
down the front of shorts and wrap my fingers around him. He is 
hard and hot and ready to go. I feel a wave of wetness between 
my legs as I feel him. That I could do this to him.

"Now, Mulder," I pant, pushing helplessly at his shorts. He 
pulls away, a startled look on his flushed face. I don't think 
I've ever seen him look sexier and it just makes me hotter.

"Scully?" 

I smile just as I manage to get him undressed and my hand 
finds his erection, this time without clothes. He draws a 
sharp, hissing breath as I slowly pump him. I can feel him 
shaking against me and I know that it's taking all his control 
not to just pound into me right there.

Well, we'll have to do something about that, won't we? Without 
moving my hand from his throbbing cock I lean into him and draw 
his earlobe into my mouth, nipping lightly at it. I soothe it 
with my tongue as I release it.

Then I breath quietly into his ear, "Mulder, I want you." I 
pause to let my words sink in before I finish the thought. 
"I want you to fuck me now."

Mulder lets out a groan that sounds almost like a growl and 
the next thing I know I'm lying on my back with him above 
me. His hands are feverishly working the buttons on my jeans 
and I reach to help. Before I can get my hands to him he has 
it open and is tugging my jeans and panties down together. They 
are dropped quickly at the end of the bed and then he is over 
me again. 

I can feel every inch of his body pressing against mine and 
I rock helplessly beneath him. Mulder tangles his fingers into 
my hair and stares at me for a long moment. 

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asks quietly, his 
voice all raspy and low, dripping with desire. I manage to give 
him a sultry smile and again rock my hips against him. With a 
low groan he pushes forward and slips easily into my body.

Oh god.

This shouldn't feel so good. We are still laying perfectly 
still and I am so very close to orgasm already. I open my 
eyes and find him watching my face, waiting for me. But I want 
him to let go. I want to see him lose control...with me, for 
me. I push up into him and he immediately begins to move.

His strokes are slow and gentle at first. I know that he is 
taking his time for me. I can feel the strain in his upper 
arms where I'm holding him. I know what he wants to do and 
I so want him to. Not that what we're doing isn't nice. Oh god 
is it ever. It's just...right now I want Mulder pounding into 
me so hard that I feel like I'm gonna split in half.

"Please, Mulder," I pant breathlessly as we move together. 
"Harder...harder, Mulder."

"Oh shit, Scully," he whimpers, increasing his movement 
slightly. But it's not enough. I want it all. And I want 
him with me when I have it...and I'm about to have it! I can 
feel my orgasm threatening to take me over already and I want 
Mulder there with me.

"Mulder," I whisper, kissing along his jaw. "Mulder, look at 
me...at us," I manage to say.

He does. His eyes slide open and he looks at my face for a 
moment, an expression of surprise crossing his face. Then he 
raises himself slightly and his eyes drop to where we are 
joined. I follow his gaze and it is the most erotic sight I 
have ever seen. His cock, hard and swollen, glistening with 
wetness from being inside me, sliding out and then back into 
my body. I watch in amazement for a moment and then my eyes 
raise up to find Mulder's again.

When his eyes lock with mine they are filled with wonder and 
love. That is all it takes to finally send me over the edge, 
screaming his name and digging my nails into his back. At almost 
the same time I feel Mulder's entire body tense and a hoarse 
cry escapes his throat as he comes. Our bodies move together 
softly for a few more minutes before Mulder collapses onto me, 
panting for breath.

I'm not sure how much time passed before I was coherent enough 
to take in my surroundings again. Mulder was still laying on 
top of me, his breathing still slightly ragged. It was then that 
I realized he was technically still hurt and I anxiously run my 
hands into his hair.

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?" 

"You okay?" I ask softly, trying to see his face.

I can feel him shaking and for a moment I'm not sure what it 
is. Then he lifts his head slightly and I can see the laughter 
and tears that are mingled in his eyes. He carefully brushes a 
stray hair back from my forehead before he answers.

"Yeah, Scully. I'm doing just fine." He leans down and plants 
a kiss on my nose. "Now."

I grin as I remember the conversation at the hospital when he 
woke up. "I love you, Mulder."

"I love you, too, Scully," he answers, giving me a huge smile 
and I realize that I have never seen Mulder this happy. And 
it makes me happy to know that it was me. I can make him this 
way and I will try to do so everyday for the rest of his life.

He rolls over and pulls me into his arms. I snuggle into him 
and listen to his heart, allowing myself to fall into a sated 
slumber.

**********

**********

 

I hold her and watch her sleep. I can't believe what happened 
here today. If it weren't for the fact that Scully is curled 
around me naked I might be willing to believe it was all a dream. 
I never thought I could get so lucky. That she'd love me the way 
she seems to.

I sigh and pull her tighter to me. I don't ever want to let 
her go. She came so close to being gone. We have come so close 
to losing each other so many times over the years. When will 
our luck run out? I shudder slightly and run my hand absently 
up and down her arm.

I never imagined that a broken promise and a gunshot wound 
would bring us together. I know that it was really a lot more 
than that, but I can't help but wonder. I mean, if nothing had 
happened that night, if I hadn't been shot, would she still be 
lying in my bed tonight? Would she still have said those words 
I had longed to hear for so long?

And does it even matter?

No, I don't think it does. All that matters is that I love her 
and she loves me...although I can't figure out why. But that's 
all that matters. The rest is just that...the rest. Whatever the 
reason for this happening now, I realize that now was when it was 
supposed to happen. With a small smile still on my face I drift 
off to sleep. 

***********The End*********