From: K K Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 14:57:28 -0800 (PST) Subject: Protection by Ms K Source: direct Title: Protection (1/1) Author: Ms K E-Mail address: ms_k@guessmail.com Rating: PG Category: S - Story / R - Romance Spoilers: none Keywords: MSR Summary: Scully confesses her feelings for Mulder. She finds him at home... but not alone. Protection (c) by Ms K, October 2000 The sound of the CD that had been playing for the last hour or so had long since died away. The petite woman, however, was lost too deep in thought as to have taken any notice of it. She had stopped listening to the music long before it ended anyway. Usually this CD helped her to relax and "switch off" after a hard day at work. But not this evening. Actually it wasn't unsettled business matters that were preventing her from finding her well-deserved peace of mind. For once, it was rather quiet in their basement office, not too many unexplained cases waiting to be solved by "Spooky Mulder" and "The Ice Queen", as the partners were known throughout the J. Edgar Hoover Building. Even though her reminiscent feelings didn't really stem form her professional life, they weren't totally unrelated either. The last couple of hours, ever since she had left their shared office for the weekend, thoughts about her partner had preoccupied her thoughts and soul. Fox Mulder had started her line of thoughts off by first guiding her to their car as they made their way back to the office from an "on location meeting" and had, once again, put his hand steadily to the small of her back. Every time he did that, it sent shivers up and down her spine and she prayed that she didn't flush to the roots of her hair on these occasions. So far, however, Mulder had never made any comment about it, and Scully didn't credit this to his tactful personality. Therefore her hopes were high that he hadn't noticed... yet. Later on, back in their office, she had asked him to have a look at some file on her computer screen. He had stood behind her and then leaned over her in order to get a better look at the screen. Or that was what she thought he was doing, because after he had obviously read the file he didn't move back. Instead, he stood hovering over her and struck up a conversation about the file in question. Scully tried hard to ignore his presence so close to her. She did her best to pay no heed to the heavenly masculine scent of his aftershave, his warm, sunflower seed-scented breath gently brushing past her certainly flushed cheeks. Scully tried hard to concentrate on his comments about their pending case, but looking into those hazel eyes and listening to his sexy voice didn't really make things easier for her. After a couple of moments she couldn't stand it any longer, stood up, pushed past him and made her way to the coffee machine. She had to summon up all her strength to stop the cup from shaking and in the process spilling the coffee she had poured into it. They had then discussed their pending case for a short while, but Scully couldn't keep her mind focused on what Mulder was saying. She decided that it was high time to call it a day. She shut down her computer, put away all the files that were stacked on her desk and locked the filing cabinets. Seeing that her hands were still trembling, Scully took a deep breath in order to regain her self-control. She nearly jumped at the soft voice behind her: "May I help you in your jacket?" Mulder was standing behind her, holding her jacket in front of him. "Sure" she replied and slipped her arms in it, carefully avoiding any contact with Mulder. "Scully, is everything all right?" he asked in a concerned voice. Scully swallowed and gave him her standard line: "Yeah... I'm fine!" After she had successfully administered her jacket, Mulder let his hands rest briefly on her shoulders and wished her a good weekend. This contact sent Scully's feelings reeling again. She snatched her briefcase and keys from her desk and rushed out the door with a muttered "Thanks. You too, Mulder." Scully had come home after doing her shopping. It had taken her unusually long because her mind had been preoccupied with thoughts about her partner and his behavior. On arrival at her apartment she changed from her business suit into her favorite sweatshirt and washed-out jeans and now found herself sitting in her living room, thinking thoughts she would have rather liked to avoid, at least during the weekend. Why was Mulder behaving like this? Touching her ever so softly at every possible moment, the looks he gave her. Sometimes she caught him gazing at her and then diverting his eyes swiftly as soon as she was looking at him. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he was slightly blushing at those moments. But surely this was only her imagination. She wished he would stop bringing her emotional life into an uproar. Couldn't he see what he was putting her through with those touches, when he smiled at her with those dreamy hazel eyes and the cutest smile she had ever laid eyes on. "Thank God, he doesn't!" she said out loud. If he did notice, she surely would be the target of constant teasing and jokes. It would be just like Mulder to bask in her feeling of unease, to jump at every possibility to make her life even more difficult. Deep furrows were building on her forehead, visible signs of her troubled thoughts. Would Mulder really do this to her? Sure, he was teasing her now and then, but nothing had been way out of line. And in fact, she liked his jokes and suggestive remarks, even though she tried her best to conceal it from Mulder. This was, however, not the issue here. The issue was why he treated her the way he did. On the one hand, he never let a chance pass to make her the butt of a joke. But only when they were alone, she realized. Whenever they were together with working colleagues or superiors, he was always supporting her, defending her, usually taking all the blame on himself and trying to let her get off scott-free. And he was caring and thoughtful of her. He opened the doors for her, supported her opinions... well... at least from time to time he did. He was there for her when they killed Melissa and when her father died. And not to forget the many times he had ditched her and run off to chase some mysterious lead they had received, or rather, *he* had received. She hated it when he did this to her, even though his only intention was to keep her out of harms way. Those wild goose chases, however, usually ended with her having to save his butt anyway. She smiled to herself. And then a thought hit her. Hadn't she already been seated, the force and suddenness of this thought would have swept her off her feet. Could it be, that Mulder felt something more for her than just friendship? Could it be, that he wanted more of her than just her professional side? Could it be, that she was more to him than just a *partner*? Could it be, that Mulder...? She didn't dare to make a move because she feared that the ground might open and swallow her. Only her thoughts raced through her head with super-sonic speed. Within seconds she had replayed the touches, the gestures, looks and remarks of her partner and judging by the evidence there was just one conclusion to draw: Mulder must be in love with her. As much in love with her as she was with him. Yes. She was in love with him and had been for years now. She had admitted it to herself long ago but made a promise never to let him know. For one reason, she was not very experienced in letting men know about her feelings for them. Or if Mulder didn't feel the same for her... She couldn't even bear to think about it. The situation, however, had changed. With even the slightest prospect of him loving her as well, she couldn't just go on and live her life *next* to him but not *with* him. Her dream of belonging to him as more than just as his partner, to be his partner in the true meaning of the word, was as close to becoming true as never before. And this final thought awoke Dana Scully from her moment of motionlessness and sent her with a jolt from her couch and running to the phone. She had to know and she had to know now, whether there was more between her and Mulder than just a business relationship. In the middle of dialing Mulder's phone number she stopped. This was something one couldn't do over the phone. With a glance at her watch she noticed that it was already well after midnight. This was, however, something that couldn't wait another night, let alone a whole weekend. And besides, countless times Mulder had shown up on her doorstep in the middle of the night without any warning. She grabbed her car keys from the sideboard and slammed the door shut behind her. After sweeping down the couple of steps, she almost ran to her car. Her shaky fingers somehow fumbled the keys in the lock and within seconds she sat behind the wheel, had the car running and rushing down the streets towards Mulder's apartment. After having parked her car and recovered her composure, Scully walked slowly towards Mulder's apartment house. There was no use in rushing into things here. This was probably going to be the most important moment of her life. Scully took a few deep breaths and cast a shy first look up to Mulder's apartment window. As she saw the light shimmer through the blinds, her heart leapt. He was still awake. Once again she had to remind herself of the huge importance of staying calm now. After another deep breath she continued her way to the front door. Scully considered for an instant whether to take the elevator or climb the stairs. She discarded the idea of taking the elevator and climbed up the staircase instead. This would buy her a couple of extra seconds in case she came to her senses and changed her mind. After reaching the fourth floor she walked to Mulder's apartment door. She was just about to knock when she realized that she didn't have the faintest idea what she was going to tell Mulder. Well, she knew *what* she was going to tell him, but not *how*. Actually, she wanted *him* to tell *her* something, or rather to confirm her suspicion. God, she thought, why does this have to be so complicated? Then again, Mulder was involved. How other than complicated could it be? She moistened her lips and swallowed before she finally knocked on Mulder's door, timidly at first, then a bit harder. It felt like ages before the door was unlocked and opened. A puzzled looking Mulder wrapped in a black silk bathrobe greeted her: "Scully? Um... what are you doing here?" A shy smile appeared on Dana Scully's face as she answered: "Hi... um... Mulder. I have something important I want to talk about with you." Scully was still standing on the floor outside Mulder's apartment and he didn't seem inclined to let her in. "What could be so important that it couldn't wait until Monday? Or at least 'til the sun comes up in the morning? - Is everything all right?" he asked. Scully started to feel somewhat uncomfortable. Now or never, she thought: "No... um..., it couldn't wait. And it's got nothing to do with our jobs." Scully diverted her eyes to the threshold, then lifted her shining, steel blue eyes to meet the pair of his tempting hazel ones. She swallowed and continued with a slight tremble in her words. "We have been working together for quite some time now. We had quite different opinions at the beginning." Scully waited for Mulder's sly grin to creep around the corners of his mouth, but Mulder's expression grew even more puzzled. Scully realized she had to put it plain and simple: "Listen Mulder. I doubted you at first but I learned to respect you, to trust you. Um... over the years my feelings for you have changed... um... grown. I did a lot of thinking tonight and I... um... have a certain feeling that... um... how should I put it... you feel something for me too." She cast a hopeful look at her partner. Mulder didn't utter a word. He could only gape at her. A strange feeling crept upon Scully. Had she misinterpreted his seemingly obvious signs? Mulder still hadn't said anything or asked her to come in. Seconds seemed like hours for Scully. Finally he started to stammer: "Scully..." Only to be interrupted by a female voice coming from his living room: "Fox?" It hit Scully like a blow with a sledgehammer. Even Mulder seemed to be taken by surprise and flinched to one side, allowing Scully for the fraction of a second an unhindered view into the living room. But this was all the time Scully needed to notice a pair of black pumps carelessly tossed under the living room table and the slender ankles belonging to a woman who was obviously sitting on Mulder's black leather couch. "... I'm not alone." finished Mulder his interrupted sentence. Now it was Scully's turn to stammer and fish for words: "Um... I'm sorry. I... shouldn't have come." She turned on her heel without giving Mulder another chance to say something to her, let alone explain the situation. As if the situation needed any more explanation! Scully rushed down the corridor and harshly hit the elevator button. At least the elevator seemed to be on her side, since the doors immediately opened. She hurriedly left the apartment house, flung herself behind the wheel and drove off. Her head was spinning and she didn't even know where she was going. She parked her car at some corner on the street and decided she needed to get some fresh air. She locked the car and began to walk. Suddenly she found herself walking towards the bench overlooking the Potomac River, where Mulder and she often used to sit and talk about their current case. Sometimes the partners came here on their own to follow up their reminiscent feelings. No wonder she had ended up here. With a heavy sigh she sat down. She shook her head in disbelieve. How could she have misread his body language, all those touches, glances and the remarks? Or had she misread the situation of this evening? Scully snorted cynically. What was there to misunderstand? God, what a completely nuts situation! If she didn't feel so shattered, she would have actually laughed about it. The "everything's fine, always total in control" FBI agent Dana Scully turns up on her partner's doorstep to confess her love for him and he's got a girl on his couch. "And she's even allowed to call him *Fox*!" she muttered and lashed out at a pebble which was lying at her feet. Then the sobs came, followed by tears, tears that she had held back for a long time, for too long. Not tonight, though. Tonight her tears were allowed to flow freely. It was so good to give in to them. The ever so strong and composed Scully sat on this bench and cried. The tears suddenly stopped when it came to her mind that this unsettling matter wasn't over and done with yet. How would she treat Mulder on Monday at the office? More importantly, how would *he* treat *her*? "Congratulations, Dana! You just made a complete fool out of yourself back there!" she said out loud to herself with a groan. The best thing to do, she thought, would be to rely on her good old strategy of denial. Just act as if it never happened. If Mulder brought up the subject, then she would tell him that she didn't want to talk about it and ask him to forget about the whole thing. After this was settled, the tears came back once again. Her shoulders shook violently from the sobbing. Even though she knew she could play it down in front of Mulder, it still hurt. Everything seemed lost Scully was so consumed with her misery that she didn't notice the silhouette of a lean man, dressed in a navy blue tracksuit with its hood drawn into his face, who was standing just a few steps away in the shadow of a mighty tree. He too had a tear-stained face. He was relieved to have found her and to have his fears put to rest. On the other hand, he could hear her sobbing and knew exactly the cause of her sorrow. "I'm sorry, Scully," Mulder whispered before he jogged away towards his car, that was parked further down the street. He sat behind the wheel, started the engine and drove home. He felt so awful. And he hated himself for what he had done to her. At the same time, though, he knew that he had made the right decision. Even so, it almost tore his heart out. Mulder parked his car and returned to his apartment. He was greeted by the brunette woman who earlier on this evening sat on his couch. "Did you find her?" she asked. Mulder only nodded. "Did you talk to her?" Mulder's answer was wordless again as he shook his head. "Why not?" Mulder made his way into the kitchen and grabbed the ice tea pack from the fridge. "Fox? Dana just confessed her love to you!?" The brunette planted herself in front of him. Mulder just turned around, swallowed the last sips of his ice tea, took a glass from the cupboard and stormed into the living room where he snatched the whiskey bottle from the sideboard. He sat down heavily on the couch and poured himself a shot. The woman followed him, sat herself next to him and grabbed him by the sleeve: "Fox William Mulder! Would you mind explaining to me what this is all about?" Mulder took his time and emptied his whiskey glass and started to pour himself a second one when suddenly the woman took bottle and glass from his hands. "Fox!" she shrieked. "Dana just told you she loves you, for God's sake!" "I know," was all the answer she received. Mulder's guest couldn't understand the world anymore: "I thought you loved her too?" Mulder looked her straight in the eye, his look tired and sad. "Of course I do love her. I love her more than anything, more than my life." His visitor shot up from the couch, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him: "Then what is this all about? Why didn't you tell her so?" Mulder pulled her down next to him on the couch. He took the whisky bottle once again and continued to pour himself another shot. "Want one too?" he asked. She declined. Mulder once again took his time and drank a few sips of whiskey before he finally started to talk: "It's true, I love Scully more than anything on earth, and beyond. She sacrificed so much for me: her career, her health, her sister Melissa even. And she did so much for me: she trusted me like no one else before, believed in me." He looked lovingly at the woman sitting next to him. "And she brought you back, Sam." Mulder gently brushed a stray strand of hair from his sister's face. For years his only goal had been to find Samantha, to find out the truth about her disappearance. After years and years of endless search and with thousands of leads that lead him nowhere, Mulder had almost been at a point where he had given up. He had said as much to Scully once and she had been shocked. She had talked insistently to him about not losing his faith, about having to go on in his quest. And she had vowed to him to find Samantha with him. And finally she had found Samantha *for* him. Never would he forget the day when Scully had brought his sister back to him. By some mysterious means old files found their way to Scully's home address. Files that were classified as TOP SECRET and with "To destroy January 1973" stamped on them. She was about to throw them away when the initials "S.M." together with the birth date "1/22/1964" rang a bell in her head. She meticulously analyzed all the data and notes that the file contained. It was noted that one Samantha M. was given into a foster family eight month after she had undergone a treatment called "AWKV". Whereas Scully couldn't find out what the abbreviation "AWKV" stood for, the records marked the treatment as "inoperative" and a hand scribbled note next to it that said: "To release into foster care immediately". The rest had been fairly easy: Scully tracked down the foster home and thanks to her badge got fairly easy access to the adoption papers of Samantha Mulder. In Houston, Texas, Scully found one Samantha Greene, adopted daughter of Charles and Hester Greene. The two women met and Scully cautiously brought up the subject of Samantha's adoption. Scully learned that Samantha knew that she had had a brother called Fox. The foster home and Samantha herself, however, had been informed that her brother had died together with her biological parents in a car accident. Scully then shed light on the fact that Samantha's brother wasn't dead and neither was her real mother. Over three days, the two women talked about Samantha's life and her memories and Scully told her about Mulder's search for her and everything else she regarded as important. In order not to bring her partner's hopes up for nothing, Scully then ordered DNA tests. There had been too many false leads and false sisters over the years. Scully then compared the data with Mulder's'. It turned out to be a perfect match. There was no doubt left that *this* Samantha was Fox Mulder's sister. Only then did she tell Mulder about what she had come across and organized a meeting between the long lost siblings and their mother. And now his beloved sister sat next to him, on his couch, in his apartment and was at the end of her tether. She couldn't understand what was happening. Samantha watched Mulder with a confused look: "I'm really sorry Fox, but I still don't get it." Mulder took another sip of the whiskey. "Sam, those guys in black, the government or who ever is after us - after me - they don't take prisoners. Scully has sacrificed and lost so much. Look what the cancer did to her! Thank God that's over now. Were we together, I'd provide *them* with an even better reason to go after *her* in order to get at *me*. And I'd put her in even greater danger. I have to protect her, at all costs. That's the least I can do for her." Mulder concluded with an expression as sad as never before. Samantha had just enough time to reflect on this comments for a moment or two before Mulder continued: " You know Sam, it's was a Godsend that you were here tonight. Judging by Scully's reaction when you called me, she must have seen your shoes and maybe even your legs when she was peering past me into the living room." A faint smile hushed over his face. "She must have thought I had a woman with me." This last remark received a slight nudge from his sister and a "And I am a woman, aren't I?" But after this short interval, the mood was sober again. "I can understand that protection thingy you mentioned. But still, how can you stand working with Scully and hiding your feelings from her? And, Fox, don't the two of you deserve to be happy, to be happy together? And you could watch out for each other in a partnership just as well as you do when you work together, couldn't you?" Samantha tried hard to convince her brother. She had known Scully and him for only a short while, but she had sensed that there was more to it than a strict business relationship between the two of them right from the start. On the few occasions where she had met Dana Scully, Samantha had noticed how much Scully thought of her brother. And it was the same from her brother's side. Mulder was almost a bit overprotective of her. A couple of weeks ago Scully had had a nosebleed. Samantha didn't think much of it but Mulder nearly went berserk. Ever since that microchip was back in place, Scully's cancer had been in remission and by now was non-existent. She had had her bi-annual check only two months ago. Scully had said as much to Mulder when he had discovered her leaning over the washbasin in their office, trying to wash off the blood. Neither Scully nor Samantha would ever be able to forget his shocked look when he saw the droplets of blood that slowly dripped into the basin. He had almost checked Scully into hospital and was already trying to shove her out of their office. Luckily, Scully could persuade him that it was just a "normal" nosebleed and had nothing to do with the cancer. Only after offering him to call her doctor was Mulder letting the issue go. The next couple of days, however, Scully was under close supervision by her partner. But Mulder only shook his head in response to Samantha's speech. "Sam, let's drop this subject. There's no use in talking about this any longer. I have made up my mind and you are not going to change it." And with that he swallowed the last bit of his whiskey and made his way over to the kitchen to put the glass away. Samantha stared after her long lost brother. She felt sorry for him. When he returned they didn't talk about Scully anymore but about trivial things. Only a short while later they said their good nights. Samantha retired to Mulder's bedroom for the night. It was the second time she spent the weekend with her brother. Unlike last time, however, she couldn't just close her eyes and fall asleep. Long into the night was she thinking about Fox, about Scully and this seemingly unsolvable situation. And on the couch outside in the living room, a worn out Fox Mulder lay on his couch and the long- held-back tears slowly rolled over his cheeks. It was early Monday morning when Mulder made his way to their basement office at the J. Edgar Hoover building. He wanted to secure himself the advantage of being at the office before Scully. But as it turned out, Scully had had the same idea. As he was about to unlock the office door, it was opened from the inside and a rather startled Scully with an armful of folders was standing before him. A moment of heavy silence hung above their heads. Mulder found his voice first and said: "Good morning, Scully." She swallowed and uttered a "Morning" before she rushed past him and along the corridor to the elevators. 'Great!' she thought as the elevator doors closed behind her. 'So much for your plan to act as if nothing had happened!' Mulder had meanwhile entered the office, rid himself of his coat and sat behind his desk. He immediately knew that Scully felt uncomfortable about what had happened Friday night. He even knew it that very same evening, since it was natural for Scully to be brooding about it. He hadn't been able to forget about it either. He stared at his "I want to believe" poster on the wall and thought once again about how he should "deal" with Scully now. Should he tell her the truth, that it had been Samantha with him last night? Should he tell her about his motives to keep her away from him? Or should he leave the issue alone for the time being and wait until Scully brought it up? When the phone rang, he didn't bother to turn around and answer it. He had more important matters on his mind right now. He was completely lost in thought. He never heard Scully re-enter the room. She picked up the receiver and as she started to speak Mulder turned around with a jolt. He tried hard not to stare at her. Scully put the receiver down and said almost reluctantly "Skinner wants to see us." And before she even finished the sentence, she was hurrying out the door. Mulder stood and followed her. After holding the job as Assistant Director for many a year, Walter Skinner could tell by just looking at people that something was wrong. And something was definitely wrong between the two who were sitting in front of him right now. Immediately after entering his office, Scully had sat down in her usual chair, leaned back, crossed her legs and looked at him with tired eyes. With no motion at all did she acknowledge the presence of her partner. Mulder had entered the office only a few steps after Scully. He had closed the door and while walking over to his usual spot in the office, the only free chair left, he cast an almost hurt look at his partner. Skinner pondered this look for a while but because now Mulder too was waiting for him to commence, he let it go for the moment. The Assistant Director explained to the two agents why he had summoned them in his office. After having sufficiently expanded on the case, Skinner couldn't resist: "Is there anything you want to talk to me about, Agent Mulder, Agent Scully?" Scully and Mulder were quick to shake their heads. "I thought so," muttered Skinner but said aloud: "Alright then, Agents." And with that, their meeting had ended and the two agents made their way back to the elevator. Scully stood on one side of the elevator, Mulder on the other. Suddenly Mulder leaned over and pressed the emergency stop button. The cabin came to a jagged stop. Scully turned to him in wonder, but after seeing his expression, she knew what awaited her. Mulder had made up his mind, he had to get it off his chest: "Scully, I want to explain." She cut in: "You don't need to, Mulder." But he insisted and wanted to start again with his speech. Once again Scully stopped him and said with a tired voice: "Mulder. It was a mistake, okay. Do me a favor and forget about it." And with a slightly trembling voice she added: "...I did already." They looked at each other for an instant. Then Mulder nodded and put the elevator back in motion. Four weeks had passed since that fateful weekend. As they had agreed, the two partners never mentioned that momentous night again between them. On their own, however, both Scully and Mulder thought about it quite often. Their partnership had undergone some drastic changes. Business wise they were still an excellent team - many an X-file they had dealt with during this month had been solved. It was the interpersonal that had changed between the two. The changes had been evident especially to Scully. No hand to the small of her back anymore when Mulder was walking behind her, no lean-ins to read something on her computer screen, hardly any challenging smiles and no suggestive innuendoes at all. Scully missed all of it. Often she had asked herself whether it hadn't been better for her to keep her mouth shut. Had she not let Mulder know about her feelings, there would still be his comments... and his touches. She had come to the conclusion, however, that it would have hurt even more to accidentally come upon the truth one day. Scully could have bumped into Mulder's date on any given occasion. It was just an unfortunate coincidence that it had happened when she was confessing her feelings to Mulder. Mulder had never talked about his *DATE*, never mentioned her with a single word. Scully actually didn't mind. Her visits to his apartment had decreased, and not once did she show up anymore before calling and "warning" him in advance. She had even returned his key and made Mulder relinquish hers. Mulder's date. Once again Scully's thoughts drifted back to this expression. Why did those words hurt so much? Why couldn't she just be happy for him? The answer was simple: Because she loved him, still. It was not enough that Mulder thought about Scully and that ominous weekend on his own accord constantly, but Samantha started pestering him about it as well. Not once could they have a conversation, over the phone or in person, without her asking about the state of affairs between him and Scully. Every time he had to tell her that there were no news, and there wouldn't be any. He was simply not willing to take the risk, the risk of losing her again, possibly losing her forever. He tried to convince himself that he was happy with what he had now: A very professional Scully, with her sharp wit, in his professional life. Quite often, however, he caught himself thinking of what he didn't have. He didn't have the Scully who shared her joys with him or lessened the burdens on his shoulders. Nor did he have the Scully who went to sleep with him in the evenings and woke up with him every morning. He didn't have the Scully he could take in his embrace and comfort her in her darkest hours, or the Scully in whose embrace he could seek comfort. And worst of all, right now, he didn't even seem to have the Scully who was his friend. Mulder sensed that Scully had withdrawn from him. Of course, he had done his best to foster this situation. He had limited his touches to a minimum. He tried hard to keep his exchanges with Scully strictly limited to business matters. Should their conversation fall on personal topics, Mulder made an effort to give a brisk answer and change the subject as soon as possible. He was suffering from this lack of intimacy just as much as Scully was. But he kept pretending that it was only a matter of time until they both had come to terms with this new situation. In due course, Scully would meet someone else and find what she was looking for. At this thought the pencil he was twiddling in his hands snapped into two. Not only did the partners spend a good deal of their time brooding about their sad and lonely lives. Samantha, too, drew her own conclusions. She could see how her brother was suffering. And judging by how much it had affected him, she could only guess at what Scully must be going through. After all, Mulder had let Scully believe that he was together with someone else, after she had told him that she was in love with him. Samantha came to the conclusion that this situation was unbearable for both of them and that it was up to her to end this sorry affair. It was on a Tuesday night that Samantha was knocking on one particular apartment door. Samantha had called her brother last night and had found him in a state of sheer lethargy. What ever question she asked him, he answered with monotonous "yes's" und "no's", if he answered them at all. When she turned their conversation to the topic of Scully, Mulder fell silent. To bridge the awkward silence, Samantha started to tell him about her plans for the next week. But Mulder didn't seem to be paying attention. Finally Samantha said goodbye to her brother and killed the line. The next call she made was to the airport, to book a flight for the very next day. But it wasn't her brother she was planning to pay a visit to. She had only hesitated for a moment when twinges of remorse at betraying her brother nagged at her. But as Scully opened the door, she had pushed the thought aside and greeted her with a friendly smile. "Hi Dana. Um... may I come in?" Scully was somewhat startled to see Samantha outside her door but opened it wide to let the other woman in. She showed her into the living room and Samantha sat down on her couch. "A glass of wine?" she offered and Samantha accepted gladly. First of all, she could use a courage booster and second, it would buy her extra time to find the right words for what she wanted to tell Scully. Her hostess returned from the kitchen with a bottle of white wine and two glasses. She was pouring the second glass when she asked: "So, how have you been, Samantha?" The two women had a friendly chat and it wasn't before the second glasses had been emptied that Scully pinned Samantha down: "Samantha, I really like your company. But I don't think you came here to make a courtesy visit." Scully waited for Samantha's reply but the other woman only set her glass down on the living room table. So Scully continued. "I guess it is what happened between Mulder and me a couple of weeks ago that brought you here. He has told you about it, hasn't he?" So it was time to confess the truth, Samantha thought and shook her head. "No... No, he didn't need to tell me. I heard it firsthand." Scully didn't seem to get the point. She looked questioningly at her. After straightening her back and taking a deep breath, Samantha continued. "Dana, it was me that evening in Fox's apartment. I spent that weekend at Fox's and we were sitting in his living room when you showed up." Expectantly, Samantha watched Scully as a dawning expression slowly lit up her face. "But... why hasn't he told me... I mean... That means he isn't..." It seemed difficult for Scully to form a coherent thought at the moment. Samantha grinned happily at her and started to relate Mulder's side of the story. The two women went on talking for hours and in the process emptied their bottle of wine. Samantha was slightly disappointed that Scully didn't seem to be overjoyed by what she had just disclosed to her. She had expected her to be over the moon about it. Then again, she could understand that Scully had to do some thinking of her own now and Samantha wanted to leave her to it. "Okay. I think I should go now." She said and started to make her way to the door. "You can sleep in the guestroom, if you want to," Scully offered but Samantha declined. "Nah. I'm going to see someone tonight. But don't tell my brother yet, okay?!" She said with a sly grin. Scully answered with a knowing smile and let her out. She then cleared the glasses and the bottle from the living room, took a long shower and went to bed. After turning from side to side for an hour, Scully gave up on sleeping. She turned on the light, sat up and glanced at her alarm clock. 2am. She put on her bathrobe and went back to the living room. If she couldn't sleep anyway, she could at least make use of the time and go over some files she had taken home with her. As hard as she tried to concentrate on the files before her, however, her thoughts drifted back to the talk she had had with Mulder's sister a couple of hours ago, and to Mulder himself. With a sigh she closed the files and put them aside. She changed into jeans and sweatshirt and donned her long black coat. She then grabbed her keys and headed for her car. Without even noticing it she drove towards her partner's apartment and brought her car to a halt on the opposite side of the street. She looked up only to see that the apartment windows were dark. Well... what had she expected at 3am? "Stupid" she muttered and re- started the engine. There wasn't much traffic at this hour that needed Scully's undivided attention, so she let her thoughts drift back to this night's conversation with Samantha. According to his sister, Mulder loved her. He had lied to her about having a girlfriend in order to protect her from *them*, "the enemy". Did this mean the two of them had a chance when they put *them* out of action? Well... how likely was that, judging by what they had achieved in the past? Would *they* leave her alone if she left the X-files? Would that be enough? Could Mulder and she live in peace? Together? So many questions. Suddenly the space inside the car seemed to shrink. She had to get out, had to get some air. She parked her car at the side of the street and started to walk. Scully ended up walking towards their bench at the Potomac River. As she cleared the last corner she noticed a dark figure lying on the bench. "Oh great!" Scully thought. "Tonight of all nights this bench must be occupied." She was ready to turn around but decided that maybe some more exercise would clear her head and tire her enough that she could go to bed after that. So she continued on her way. As she was next to the bench she shot an annoyed glance at the sleeping figure. With amazement she noticed that it wasn't one of the homeless people, but Fox Mulder who was snoring quietly on their favorite bench. Silently she approached it and quietly observed her sleeping partner for a few moments. When Samantha had told her about Mulder's deceit she had been angry with him and had planned to take him to task about it. But now, how could she have a go at someone who looked so gorgeous while sleeping and who made such cute gurgling, snoring sounds? Scully's anger had fizzled out as she was trying hard to stifle a grin. To realize how handsome he looked did the trick. But it stirred sensual feelings in her. Tentatively she reached out toward him and brushed lightly through his thick brown hair. It felt so good. She had dreamed about this for years. Scully couldn't resist doing it again and this time her hand continued down his cheek and finally rested there. At this moment Mulder's eyes flew open and he looked drowsily at Scully. "Hi!" was all he mumbled. "Hi!" Scully smiled her full, saved-for- very-rare-occasions-smile at him. "What a wonderful dream!" Mulder thought. It seemed as if he could feel her touch. Slowly, reluctantly, Scully drew her hand away. She didn't feel ashamed, not in the least bit. It was now time for them to come to terms with their feelings. "Samantha came to see me this evening." Mulder was wide-awake in an instant, shooting in an upright position. This wasn't a dream. Scully was here. Where was here? What had she just said? Thousand different thoughts flooded his mind. Samantha? - Samantha! He swallowed, then cleared his throat. "Oh, really." Scully looked down at him. He felt utterly uncomfortable. It showed clearly. And she was enjoying every second of it. She was getting her revenge after all. "Is this place taken?" Scully asked finally and Mulder shook his head with a guarded expression, unsure of what she had in store for him. She sat down next to him, bringing their eyes to the same level. "Samantha disclosed to me the identity of the female visitor you had the other night." Scully watched Mulder closely, expectantly awaiting his reaction. After a moment of thought, Mulder said: "Scully... I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. But you see, this was such a perfect way to keep you away from me. I just couldn't..." She put her fingers to his sensuous lips and stopped his words. "Mulder, do you love me?" Her blue eyes bore searchingly into his hazel brown. She had to know, and she had to know it from him, here and now. Mulder realized that there was no way out now. He couldn't fend her off just like that anymore. He took her hands and held them in his. "Yes. Scully, I do, with all my heart." A million sparks exploded in her eyes. She wanted to fling her arms around his neck but he held her back and went on. "But we can't let it happen, Scully. It is too dangerous. Too dangerous for you. If *THEY* get wind of it, they would surely take you again, take you from me, Scully. I would not survive it... not again." Scully's eyes started to shimmer with unshed tears. It was a declaration of love. Mulder had just declared his love to her. Slowly one tear crept down her cheek and Mulder reached out to brush it aside before his hand naturally found its way back to hers. His touch felt so good. "But Mulder... they could take me - or *you* - tomorrow, even if we go on like *this*." It was not difficult for Mulder to notice the sadness in Scully's eyes before she continued: "Mulder, let us cross that bridge when we get to it. Why waste precious moments with worrying about what might be...? Mulder, I LOVE YOU. And I want to spend my life with you. All the time I have left, Mulder, be it a day, a year or a hundred years." Tears welled up in Mulder's eyes as he realized the truth in Scully's words. Slowly he reached out and touched her face. Both drew closer to each other until their lips met. They kissed for what seemed an eternity. When their lips finally parted, both partners slightly out of breath, they looked into each other's happily glowing faces. Finally, Scully nestled against his shoulder and rested in the comfort of his arms. "I love you... Fox." She whispered and planted a soft kiss just below his earlobe. "And I love you, Dana." He answered and pulled her even closer. In perfect peace, the pair looked over the Potomac River, with a blanket made of stars above them. ~~The End~~ Disclaimer: The characters of "The X-Files" and rights thereto belong to FOX network, Ten Thirteen Productions, and Chris Carter. The remainder of this story is the property of the author. Author's notes: So this is it. My first go at something like this. I hope you enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. There might be some hiccups with the context and stuff. Sorry about that, but I haven't seen all the episodes. So I just let my imagination take over. Furthermore, if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes or incorrect wording, please keep in mind that my first language isn't English and turn a blind eye to it! Special thanks go to Marie from the BRC for all your help and support, and the friendly banter in between, too! Finally, all comments are encouraged and appreciated. You can e-mail me at ms_k@guessmail.com. Thanks for reading... and writing!