Disclaimer: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 productions and them Fox people. Not me. I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes, so don't sue me or I won't be able to buy any more XF videos! Radio Silence (c) Nick Harper & Sangraal Music. Radio Silence (1/1) By Chris Jones chrisj@mail.cybase.co.uk Rated: One-sided MSR, Mulder Angst. Summary: Mulder wallows in his sorrow after Scully's abduction. Timeline: After "Ascension", before "3" Mulder lay on his couch, flicking aimlessley through the channels. He must have gone through the stations 3 times. He had holed himself up behind door 42 for almost a week now. Multiple messages from AD Skinner, at first concerned and compassionate, now more irate sounding than the last, were mounting up on his answering machine. Even the X man hadn't contacted him. *Why her? Why Scully and not me?* A heavy sigh left his chest and he took another look at Mystery Science Theatre. "No" The channel changed. Twin Peaks. Some guy from the FBI was on the screen, impersonating a woman. *I know I'M open to extreme possibilities, but that takes the biscuit* "No" DS9. "No" Red Shoes. "No" Mulder almost laughed at himself. The Diaries were on TV and he had just surfed straight past them. He threw a sunflower seed at the screen and turned it off. Walking over to the stereo, he selected a disc from the rack. "Seed", by Nick Harper. He pushed the drawer on the CD shut and hit the shuffle button. Pheobe had introduced Mulder to the music of Roy Harper, Nick's father, while he was at Oxford and he had to buy this after seeing it in a record store in DC. He HAD been looking for Brent Spiner's album, he remembered with a grin - something to freak Scully out with while she was trying to do the quarterly budget. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. Scully. No matter how many times he rolled her name around in his head, trying to remember her smile, her "_Mul_der, don't be ridiculous. Chickens don't grow 6 feet tall and attack hill walkers" kind of looks, all he could see was her frightened features as she lay in Duane Barry's trunk in the photograph. He turned his computer on and checked his mail. 4 messages from MScully@aol.com. he knew what they said. Fox, Are you alright? Call me, okay? Margaret. Or something like that. Frohike filled the rest of his In box. Frohike was pretty freaked out after Scully's abduction. *Frohike. What does he know? He didn't know Scully. She didn't keep him sane. She wasn't his best friend. His confident. His Tower of Strength. She wasn't always there for him when he lost his gun or the monster had him pinned in a corner.* As he continued his report on the happenings at the Travel Bureau and all the subsequent events, the guitars and vocals invaded his conciousness Awake asleep alive but drifting I fantasise A lake of deeper light is shifting Behind my eyes A breath a breeze a touch of skin A whisper in the air A sound I heard with certainty *Scully? That you?* I expect you there I thought I saw your shape Shifting in the black I thought that you were back I try to hear my name I listened for a call or anything at all radio silence *Typical. I put some music on to calm myself down and all I succeed in doing is burning her image further into my mind's eye* Mulder rubbed his face in his hands, trying to rid himself of the sullen expression that had been on his face since she had gone missing. He thought of digging out his black book and calling Jane or Rachael or Gail or anyone of the forgotten faces whose numbers lay in it. But all he wanted was Scully. Scully was all he had, the only person he could trust, the only person he could love. And she was so far away from him. Far. Near. Wherever she was, she was inaccessible. He felt the tears on his face, previously unaware that they were flooding from his eyes. He choked, sniffed, and buried his head in his arms as the music drowned his sobs. The hum of the night left there Singing it's fantasies The sum of my sight bereft of seeing And I want to see *you, Scully* Me reaching out and running all along you everywhere A touch I felt with ecstasy I expect you there I thought I saw your shape Dancing in the black I thought that you were back I try to hear my name I listen for a call Or anything at all Radio Silence ------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------- This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle with me!! Comments, flames, grades (must try harder) much appreciated!! Chris