From: AIIThingsX1013@cs.com
Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2001 19:21:54 EDT
Subject: "The Real Three Words by Kasey Miller"
Source: direct

Title: The Real Three Words
Author: Kasey Miller
Email: aiithingsx1013@cs.com
Category: VRA
Keywords: MSR
Rating: PG-13, nothing graphic, merely implied
Spoilers: Per Manum, Three Words, references to all 
things, Brand X, and Requiem
Summary: "Fight the Future" were the spoken three 
words, but we all know that there was more to be 
said.
Disclaimer: Mulder & Scully belong to each other. 
Baby belongs to them. The lyrics belong to Pearl Jam. 
EDDIE!!!
Author's Notes: At the end, please
**************

      I seem to recognize your face
      Haunting, familiar yet, can't seem to place it
      Cannot find a candle of thought to light your  
        name
      Lifetimes are catching up with me


He opened the door marked 42 and stood in the 
entryway for a moment. This was going to be very 
weird. He couldn't believe that she kept his 
apartment clean and paid for while he had been gone. 
Her faith in his return, even from the dead, was a 
little unnerving.

Stepping into the front hall, he began looking around 
at the once-familiar walls with their odd prints. He 
saw the old leather couch that had served as his bed 
more often than not. He noticed that there was 
actually some movement in the fish tank, and he went 
over to see that his fish were still alive. They had 
obviously fared better than he had during his 
absence.

"Everything looks the same, but something's weird," 
he mused as he looked all around.

She moved into the living room and smiled. "Yeah, 
it's clean."

He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, knowing it 
wasn't that. For all intents and purposes, he was 
still supposed to be dead. In a small, morbid way, he 
almost wished he was. Death would be easier to deal 
with than facing his situation now. The woman he had 
loved for almost seven years was pregnant. Very 
pregnant. He knew that everything she had gone 
through to get pregnant before had failed, and she 
had quit trying. What happened? She hadn't given him 
any explanation whatsoever, and his mind was growing 
tired trying to figure it out. 

As he walked into the bedroom, mental pictures 
flashed in his head of the few evenings he had spent 
with her in bed. The first night, after he had 
returned from England. Again, when he had fully 
recuperated from the tobacco beetles. The last time, 
the night before he left for Oregon. Visions of her 
rising above him, moving with intensity and focus, 
and the feelings of desire and pleasure that she 
sparked with her movements. Another brief vision of 
cradling her in his arms as they drifted off into 
restful slumber, murmuring words of love to each 
other that they had held back for so long. 


      I swear I recognize your breath
      Memories like fingerprints are slowly raising
      Me you wouldn't recall, for I'm not my    
        former... 


As he turned back to face her, he was struck with 
unsettling thoughts. Whose child was it? Was it even 
his? They hadn't used protection, didn't think they 
needed to. Was it even possible? Or had she tried the 
IVF again? And where would that leave him in her 
life? 

She had been watching him the whole time, and her 
gaze followed him as he came back into the living 
room to perch on his desk.

"Is everything OK?" her voice was full of concern for 
him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've been a little 
distant, a little cold. It's just that I don't know 
where I fit in any more."

She moved towards him, her hand on her belly as if to 
comfort the little life she held inside. His eyes 
drifted to her hand's motion unconsciously. Scully. A 
mother. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his 
mind.

"Mulder, do you have any idea what it was like while 
you were gone? I can't even describe..."

He stood up straight and looked into her eyes. "Yeah, 
I'm pretty sure I have an idea. Let's not try to turn 
this into a pissing contest, OK? I'm just not in the 
mood." He took his jacket off and plopped onto the 
couch.

She followed suit, not exactly plopping but rather 
lowering herself gingerly so she was seated next to 
him. "No pissing contest, I promise. I'm sorry. I 
guess I had gotten used to my own little pity party 
that I never stopped to consider what this must be 
like for you." She leaned over and smoothed his cheek 
with the back of her hand. "You know I'm here for you 
if you want to talk about it. About anything."

He sighed and pulled away from her touch. "I'd love 
to talk. How about we start with this?" He laid his 
fingers on her belly.

"What do you need to know?"

He sat up and stared at her with a shocked 
expression. "What do I need to know? Let's try 'how' 
first, and then we'll move on to 'who,' OK?"

"How? Mulder, you were there. Please don't tell me I 
need to explain that certain process to you."

"But Scully, you were barren. That's why we tried the 
IVF."

She gave him a small smile and covered his fingers 
with her hand. "I know. Here's what my doctor and I 
think happened. While we were trying the IVF, I had 
some estrogen treatments to boost my hormones in case 
it worked. When it didn't, I continued taking the 
estrogen to get my levels back to normal so maybe I 
could try again later. The doctor seems to think that 
the hormones jumpstarted my ovulation and released 
whatever eggs that may have been left behind. Plus, 
the um, increased sexual activity had an effect on my 
cycle."

He grinned back and squeezed her fingers. "I would 
say so. It was the increased sexual activity that got 
you like this in the first place."

She rolled her eyes in response. "Funny guy. But I 
hope that explains the how. As for the 'who,' Mulder, 
I'm not sure if I should be offended or not."

"Don't be offended. It's a legitimate question, 
Scully. For me, at least. I mean, I didn't even know 
about this before I was gone. Hell, at that time, I 
was still under the impression that you couldn't 
conceive without a lot of help. And I was gone a long 
time. You didn't know if I'd be back, and you 
could've found someone else in the meantime."

She withdrew her hand from his and stared at him 
angrily. "I can't believe that after everything we've 
been through together, especially after this past 
year, that you could even think that I would find 
someone else. There is no one else for me but you, 
Mulder. You have to know that. If I had ever thought 
that I could be happy with another man, I would have 
left a long time ago." Suddenly her features softened 
and there was a calm in her voice. "I didn't know 
about this either when you were taken. It was a much 
as a surprise to me then as it is to you now. I've 
just had seven months to deal with it. If I had 
known, if *we* had known, things would have turned 
out much differently."

Differently, indeed. If he had known he was going to 
be a father, he would not have returned to Oregon. If 
he had known he was going to miss most of Scully's 
pregnancy, he would have stopped pretending that the 
quest still mattered and taken his own advice and 
just stopped looking. He was ready to hand over the 
X-Files reins, even to this guy Doggett. He would do 
anything necessary to make sure Scully's baby was ok 
and that she would be happy and healthy. Scully's 
baby. No, their baby. It was their baby.

"You know, Scully, a lot of things have happened 
while I've been gone. The country has a new 
president, you have a new partner, and we have a 
child. It'll take a while for everything to catch up, 
for *me* to catch up. But there's one thing that has 
never faltered or wavered or changed all this time, 
and that's how I feel about you. I still love you 
more than anything in the world and will do whatever 
you ask for you and the kid. I feel a little lost, a 
little unsure of my place in the world and where 
exactly I belong..."

She pressed her fingers against his lips to shush him 
and gave him one of her beautiful smiles.

"Mulder, hush. You belong here with me, with *us.* 
Your place in this world is with your family and the 
people who love you the most. Everything else is 
inconsequential. We need you here. We need your love. 
We need to see you, to make sure you're real, and 
that it's not just a dream. We need to touch you, to 
feel your heart beating, to know you're really 
alive." She slid closer to him and laid a hand on his 
chest while the other cupped his neck to draw his 
face to hers. "I need you, Mulder. I've been so lost 
without you," she whispered in his ear.

He drew back and placed a tentative kiss on her lips. 
"I love you, Scully."

The tears began to fall down her face as she looked 
into his eyes. "And I love you."

	
      I just want to scream...hello
      My god, it's been so long
      I never dreamed you'd return
      But now here you are, and here I am...
      Hearts and thoughts they fade...away

********
Author's notes: Bet you never thought that Pearl Jam 
and X-Files could go together. I'm Pearl Jam fan from 
way back, and this song is "Elderly Woman Behind the 
Counter in a Small Town" from their "Animal" CD. It's 
probably my favorite PJ song, and the more I listened 
to it, the more I could visualize this type of 
scenario. God Bless Eddie Vedder and his boys. 

I'm not a doctor. I have no clue whether or not 
Scully could have gotten pregnant because of estrogen 
treatments jumpstarting her ovulation. I don't even 
know if she needed to have them because of the IVF. 
But I thought it sounded conceivable (pun intended.) 
It beats the alternatives, which center around aliens 
and a certain Black Lunged Bastard. 

Finally, I'd like to recognize Madeleine Partous, 
Char Chaffin, Susan Frankovitch, Shannon Kizzia, and 
Donnilee for their inspiration. Special thanks to 
Aimee for her love, support, and patience. Love you, 
babe.