From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Tue, 16 Jul 2002 23:38:17 +0000 Subject: New Story Source: direct Title: Reality In It's Infinite Simplicity Author: Barenaked Bostonian Distribution: Sure! Anywhere! I don't care! At Gossamer already, as all of my ficcies are. Just drop me line! Feedback: if you don't send me feedback I will eat your lived with some fava beans and a nice cianti (did I spell that right?). BNLXPhile12@aol.com Category: Vingette, Scully POV Spoilers: The End Disclaimer: This story is severely bad. Anyone who had anything to do with The X-Files would be much better at portraying these characters. DEDICATION: (MORE AT THE END OF THE FIC!!!): To my friends: I know some of you just HATE the X-Files, but I want you to know that you've really been there for me, and you don't even know how much I appreciate it. I know that after high school (Which what this story is about) some of us won't see each other again, I want you to know that you've touched my life in so many way. Fuck me, I'm being all sentimental! on with this goddamned sucky story! Notes: I've never written anything like this before, but I think it's just me projecting my feelings into Scully's character. I know it's short and sweet but I felt a need to write it, like if I didn't get it out, I was going to explode. Rating: PG-13 Summary: Scully reflects on her life... in reality. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Cause I'm feeling nervous Trying to be so perfect Cause I know you're worth it You're worth it ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I remember the day that I graduated, and how very happy I was. I didn't have alot of friends, but the ones I did... were amazing. They were always there for me. We weren't together all of the time, and that was okay. I always knew that they were there, just a phone call away, if I ever needed them. On graduation day, I remember the assistant principal calling out my name and a small exclamation coming form the ground, from the mass of students. My friends were sending me their congratualtions in the only way they knew possilbe, by showing others that they were my friends. Sending me their cheers. I remember a dull sensation of being embarrased knowing that everyone eyes were fixed on me. I remember a lot of things... I recieved my diploma with a shaky hand, not really analyzing what the piece of paper in my hand meant. That I was leaving my childhood behind. That this September I would no longer be able to call up my friends and expect to meet them for pizza. That night, after our graduation, ten or so of us decided that we would go to Lauren Wieder's party. We weren't really party people. We liked to study but we also liked ot have fun... within our own circle. We hadn't been invited to the party, but I was the one who had suggested showing up. Since the party started at seven o'clock, we decided that most people would be drunk around nine. That's when we left Slyvia's house and headed for Lauren's. Countless people were in attendance, at least a hundred. I could tell that my friends were overwhelmed by the number or people in occupying the house. I wasn't, since Missy had had many parties at our house when mom and dad were out of town. I felt priveledged to be invited to one of Missy's parties, even if it her house was mine as well, but she had made a point of slipping an invitation under my door. They were always handwritte, scribbled even, on small ripped up pieces of paper. But Lauren's party... was crazy. I remember seeing a couple having sex on her living room couch and no one caring, or even seeming to notice. Marcus, who I had already broken up with in preparation for college, was transfixed. He had never been to such a large party and that was evident from the amount of spiked punch he had consumed later. He hadn't known that some of the host's friends had poured a half of bottle of Jack Daniels into it an hour prior. No one was thinking about the looming presence of college that daunted the path in front of them. All they (and us) were thinking was how much alcohol we could consume before we passed out. Well, everyone but me. I was the self appointed designated driver. And although I didn't even have my permit yet, I was able to drive. I hadn't really liked trying to drive Sylvia's car, or having to help her stagger up the stair to her bedroom. Those nights I had to crash on her bedroom floor and be out of her house before dawn. Once Sylvia and Dan and Candice were plastered, I remember watching their behavior. They were all acting quite erradically, bumping into things and laughing... but they all had the same look in their eyes. I didn't recognize it. I didn't really realize it until I got home at four A.M. that night and was in the shower. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Make that ten tons of bricks. They all realized that it was ending. They all saw it and I didn't. I hadn't seen it, but they had. Our friendships, the good times and the innocence was ending. We were being thrust into the real world. I know they all thought that I was the most prepared for it because I was always so damn studious and so committed and solitary. But I was so damn scared to go out into the world on my own. I had been accepted to the University of Maryland and I wanted to be a pathologist but I never really factored in the thought of being alone... into the equation. I was going to be alone. I just didn't know how alone I was going to be. I didn't know how hard it was going to be to choose between Berkley and the University of Maryland. How hard it was going to be to pass classes, try not to drink, try not to fall for Derek, try not to run home crying that I couldn't do it. I had wanted to be solitary so badly that I overlooked the fact that I needed people in my life. I wanted to pretend that I could make it totally on my own. it was my own selfish pride. Later, years later, I realized that I couldn't make it anywhere without the love of my friends. I did pretty well throughout college and grad school, okay I did very well throughout college and graduate school. Then after, I was recruited into the F.B.I. and the world as I knew it was upheaved. Five years later, alongside a partner who shares my passion, I realize that this is the real world. That I have always had a place here, as everyone does. Reality here is much more harsh then that of the reality we know in our youth. And as the frigid water drips upon my hair I know I am here for good. As I stand in the charred remains of what was once my beloved's office, what used to be my office, I know that reality can be a bitch. With my arms wrapped around his waist I know, we must face this reality, and the bitch that it is. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Dedication: To all of my friends, and not just the X-philes: **Kelly: Who has been my best friend... forever and I love her so much, just for being herself and loving pineapples. You tell it how it is, always and you always have advice for me. Even if you don't know what the hell is going on in my head. **Amanda: Also my best friend forvever an who loves the X-Files and helps me with family problems. You know everything about me. You're awesome and no more sugar!!! **Lisa: Another X-Phile who I was priveledged to become best friends with through our homeroom XF conversations and understands me so well. **Krisela: She thought that I was a stuck up snob, but now she understands everything I tell her and she's so funny. I love her too. **Dino: A great guy who doesn't know what he's going to be missing in the boring old town of Everett. **Ashley: We don't see each other much, but I love her too. An X-Phile, who is real and smart and just a great person to talk to... and to read my smut. **Tanya: I used to think she was evil, jsut because she was so obsessed with music, but she is so cool and great and funny and crazy and... **Dan: What can I say? he's too good to be true? A great guy with such an awesome person who can beat the truth out of me whether he knows it or not and I am so priveldged to be his friend. All gals should have a guy like this in their life. **Peter: Who (I think) tries to be someone else sometimes but he doesn't see that we all like him for what he is. **Candice: Insanely smart, who seems quite but once you get to know her... and I am so priveledged to have met her and been her friend... bookworm! **Ariana: Crazy camp counselor! I love Ari because she's never fake and has never lied to me. She tells it like it is and dyes her hair cool colors. She likes to try a bit of everything. **Glenn: Cheats at mini golf and used to listen to problems but hasn't been around lately (HINT HINT!) **Carmela: Who taught me to accept myself for myself. She's an exceptional person who is never someone she wants to be. Smart and funny and real. She lets people know what's on her mind and doesn't sugar coat it. A GREAT WRITER. **Mindy: A gazelle at heart, who sometimes tries to make people believe she's someone else. A GREAT WRITER as well. Her and Carmela will be stars one day, you just watch! **Yoko: I think she's the most compassionate person I have ever met. She's so beautiful and such a caring friend who I couldn't live without. **Melissa: English, she is as scared of the real world as I am. She helped (and helps) me get a grasp on reality and has the greatest sense on humor. **Heather: told me her secrets when she thought she couldn't trust anyone and introduced me to so many new things. She's going to shine at BSU. **Andrea: My track buddy, who made me run when I was with her. An excellent captain and friend who didn't need to do some things for me, but did. I'm going to miss her and Heather sooo mcuh! **Aiah: Who I'm going to visit. She is insanely smart and loves crosswords and has such a way with words. She's such a great person and I am so glad that I had a chance to meet her. **Lesley: Who is my twin in so many ways. If i had never been looking for message boards for mother boards and buses I never would have met her. I'm SO glad I got that assignment. I love her so much! **Kendra: The girl has as many problems as me! She's so wonderful and is a wonderful writer and I confide in her so much. **Lauren: My smut buddy who I think underestimates herself. She's brilliant and very inspired, especially in dancing. **Abby: :-) Doesn't like my smut but owes me so much for letting her borrow all of the X-Files stuff. She's taught me (literally) so much!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!