From: FireflyLG@aol.com
Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 01:27:31 EST
Subject: A submission to the Gossamer Project
Source: direct

Really Deep Thoughts
by Ophie
FireflyLG@AOL.com

Catagory: Vignette, MSR, Agnst (it's slight, but it's there)

Rating: G (sad, isn't it?)

Spoilers: Dreamland 1, Closure

Archive: Anywhere

Summery: Scully thinks (and drives!)

Disclaimer: After reading this story (which thrives on 
cliches), you will be able to see that I couldn't ever be 
creative enough to come up with these characters... but 
give me a break, I'm still learning!  No, the credit for 
Mulder and Scully will have to go to Chris Carter and Co.
Also, I stole the name for this from Tori Amos's 
'Silent All These Years'... it's kinda an inside joke
between a friend of mine and me.

Author's Notes: This IS narrated by Scully... I know, it's 
a bit ambiguous, but oh well.  This is my first 
fanfiction, so please keep the flame-throwerto a minimum.  
This was just a quick fix in the midst of a big fanfic 
that I'm writing, so this isn't going to be a creative 
milestone

Really Deep Thoughts

It's not very late, yet already it's already pitch black.  We drive 
alone, on a deserted highway.  The rain is pounding on the roof of 
the car, creating a closed in, albeit cozy atmosphere.  And I realize 
that this is my life.  The endless driving.  Our headlights 
illuminate a road sign, which tells us that we are 104 miles from our 
hotel room: our refuge for the night.  I remember a time, over a year 
ago (has it only been a year?) when I rebuked Mulder for this 
ceaseless driving.  I asked him if he ever wanted to get out of the
 car, and live something approaching a normal life.  He replied that 
this is normal.  And it is.  For us.  So much has changed in a year.  
Now I drive on.  I'm the one who keeps us on the road, not him.  I 
play the believer, he the skeptic.  Everything has been more difficult 
for him, since he "found" Samantha.  He has been happy.  For the 
first time, he has been happy.  And I have been seeking something, 
just off in the distance, just beyond reach.  I have been seeking a 
cure, a vaccination, an insurance against this colonization, that I 
was so sure would never occur.  But I'm happy too.  In my own way.  
Happy for, perhaps, the first time in my life.  (Aren't we a pair?)  
I am giving my life meaning.  In my own way, I am validating my 
exhistance, ensuring that it will not be in vain.  And he follows, 
wordlessly.  Sometimes I wonder if he hates me for it.  For my 180 
degree turnaround.  Then I look in his eyes, and I see love.  That is 
another thing that has changed.  Now, instead of the lonliness of an 
empty hotel room, a night of comfort in Mulder's arms, awaits when we 
finally reach our destination.  When the day gets tedious I find myself 
longing for the security which will come with the night. And he does too.=
  
We depend on each other, for stregnth, for love... and for so much more.
 
He has become my everything: my family, my friends; he is all that 
matters to me anymore.  We are walking this earth alone, despite all of
our human (and non-human) associations.  All that exhists for me is 
Mulder, and all that exhists for Mulder is me.  And so, as we continue 
our drive along this lonely road, I wonder to myself if I will ever get 
out of the car, and decide to live a normal life.  And I know that one 
day I will.  Just not now.  Not tonight.  I look over at Mulder, who is 
sleeping in the passanger seat, and brush a loose strand of hair from 
his forehead, affectionately.  Then I turn back to the open road in 
front of me.  Not tonight.

The End

Thank you for reading this!  I greatly appreciate it!  Be kind to a 
first-timer... offer me some feedback and criticism.  I'll never 
get any better unless you tell me how to improve!  Send marrige 
proposals, death threats, etc. to: FireflyLG@AOL.com

"So you've found a girl who thinks *really deep thoughts*
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?  
Boy, you'd best pray that I bleed real soon...
How's that thought for you?"
     ~Tori Amos, 'Silent All These Years'

"I said, 'Blow the end, nowbaby, who I gotta shag to get out of 
here?"
     ~Tori Amos, 'Glory of the '80's'

"And I, love, am a pathalogical liar"
     ~Sylvia Plath, 'Lesbos'

"I'm okay!  My ass broke the fall"
     ~Fox Mulder, The Goldberg Variation

"I went crazy again today"
     ~Fiona Apple, 'Paper Bag' 

"He flew away!"
     ~Simon and Garfunkel, 'Save the Life of My Child'