From: PhishyGrrl Date sent: Sun, 18 Jan 1998 17:32:41 EST Subject: Red-Haired, Green-Eyed, Monster (1/1) by Valerie Wislo Title - Red-Haired, Green-Eyed Monster (1/1) Author - Valerie Wislo E-Mail address - PhishyGrrl@aol.com Rating - PG-13 Category - S, R, H Spoilers - Fire Keywords - Mulder/other to Mulder/Scully Summary - Scully’s revenge on Phoebe... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Red-Haired, Green-Eyed Monster (1/1) Written by Valerie Wislo (PhishyGrrl@aol.com) /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ RATING: PG-13 (a bad word, naughty thoughts, nothing terrible) CLASSIFICATION: MSR, S WARNING: Not for NoRoMos. Mainly M&S relationship SUMMARY: Scully’s revenge ================================================== EXPLANATION: I figured that this story needs one. :) I’m not quite sure why I wrote this, probably because I’m sorta sick of writing this serious stuff, or this is just a twisted version of my own strange fantasies, but yes, it’s very twisted, and perhaps Mulder, Scully, and the rest of the gang slip a little out of character at the end, but, being a ‘shipper, I couldn’t resist. I would appreciate feedback, compliments, or creative criticism, whatever you feel the need to say, recommendations of medicine I should be taking... ================================================== ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ DISCLAIMER: As you would might have guessed, Agent Fox Mulder, Agent Dana Scully, Skinner, that evil Phoebe, and all those other wonderful people associated with The X-Files don’t belong to me, instead Chris Carter and 1013 Productions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ Scully’s infrequent giggle lightened both of their spirits. “Mulder, cut it out.” He was behind her, rubbing his knuckles against her ribs. “I hope I appear less ‘spooky’ now.” He waited for her to slide into one side of the booth. This had been their first formal meeting since they had met. “Close enough.” She answered, batting her eyelashes involuntarily in his direction. My God, I can’t believe I’m attracted to him, Scully thought to herself. I’m wasting my time. What about me would make Mulder choose my over Phoebe? Her spirits plummeted, realizing what she had just thought to be true. Mulder and Phoebe had been “casually seeing each other” for the past few weeks; it was the only new news around the Bureau. Yet still, he seemed to be enjoying her company, being engrossed in intellectual conversation. That’s one thing I have over Phoebe. The little snot is an idiot. She smiled, her thoughts drifting to painful methods of torture. “Scully?” “Hmmm?” “You eating?” “Oh yeah.” She was so absorbed in her dreams that she didn’t notice the waiter. After they had ordered, her intellect wandered again. Scully gazed intently at Mulder, analyzing his features: the soft, brown hair, glittering hazel eyes, large kissable lips, and an adorable nose. Why the hell isn’t he married? Scully again eyed him, instead focusing on the aura surrounding is profile. White as snow, he must be enjoying himself. “Scully? Scully!” Mulder leaned across the table, finding the need to stare into her mischievous blue eyes. He offered her a toothy grin. She smiled in a reply. “What?” “You didn’t hear a word I said did you?” She looked away quickly, searching her brain for a quick excuse. “No,” she said, not being able to find any. Scully mentally kicked herself for acting like such an idiot. “Sorry, your aura is amazing though.” She flashed an ice-melting smile, hoping to catch his attention. “This coming from a life-long skeptic? I don’t believe it..” His joking manner melted her innards. As she was about to reply, Mulder’s cellular phone rang. “Mulder.” “Hi Fox, I dug up the stuff you wanted. I’m hoping you’d stop over.” “Hi Phoebe, no I’m sort of busy right now. Just leave it on my desk.” “But Fox, I think it’s something you should see now.” She must of known Mulder’s plans to meet with Scully. “Listen, I’ll be right there, okay?” He hung up the phone and frowned at Scully. “I will be right back. Just stick here, and keep my food warm.” He threw her a smile and a wink, and took off. “Mulder? Mulder!?!” She called, but he had already left. “Shit, what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Scully thought as she slumped back into the chair. She sipped her iced tea, remembering... “You know if there’s iced tea in there it might be love.” “Must be fate Mulder, it’s root beer...” “Why the hell was I drinking root beer..” She muttered to herself. “And why am I blaming myself?” The waiter came back with their meals. Scully sat in front of hers, deciding to wait for Mulder to come back. The whole reason they met here was to discuss the case. It was another 45 minutes before Mulder trudged in, short of breath. “I’m surprised you didn’t stand me up.” “Excuse me?” “Thanks for the lovely evening, Mulder.” She rose, threw a twenty dollar bill on the table, grabbed her coat and ran out of the restaurant. “Damn.” He said, plopping himself down on the seat, staring at her back as she left. He didn’t notice the lipstick smudges on his lips until after he got home. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “Scully?” She looked up from her paperwork, finding his puppy-like face just inches away from hers. The urge to meld lips almost got the better of her common sense. Into his face she replied, “What, Mulder?” flatly. “Why are you angry at me?” “What make you think I’m angry?” She returned to her paperwork. “Because you are ignoring me, you ran off last night, I canted like an idiot and I’m sorry?” Mulder sighed, finishing. Scully looked up again, glaring into his eyes. Her mind liquefied as he cracked a small smile, his eyes begging for forgiveness. Giving in, she replied, “Get me some coffee and I’ll think about it.” Smiling, he lifted himself off of his elbows, and went in search of the coffee maker. “I don’t know if I can find it, Scully..” He picked up bunches of papers, folders, and newspaper articles, pretending to look for it. Scully let a chortle escape from her throat, surprising herself, and pleasing Mulder. You can never stay mad at this guy, she thought to herself. “Mulder, it’s behind you.” “Oh, yeah.. duh.” His imitation stupidity, although childish, was one of his better qualities, irresistibility. As he dumped an unmeasured amount of ground coffee beans and turned on the machine, a short but thin figure appeared in the doorway. “Good morning, Foxie.” The silhouette purred, while reaching for his shoulders. “Uh, hey Phoebe.” Mulder blushed profusely. “Did those things help?” She cooed, tracing the worry lines on Mulder’s face with her finger. “Uh, yeah thanks.” He backed out of her grasp , and towards the small refrigerator in their office. “Glad I could be of service.” Ms. Green replied, finally noticing that Scully was looking on in disgust. She clobbered out of the small office. When Mulder was sure Phoebe had left, he muttered to himself, “God, she needs a life.” Scully heard this, although she wasn’t supposed to. Strike one Phoebe, she thought smiling. As she was thought again about Mulder’s ‘squeeze’, she didn’t notice the steaming cup sitting beneath her face. “Coffee’s getting cold, Scully.” She looked down, finding the cream still swirling with the dark brown of the coffee. “Oh, thanks.” She took a grateful sip from the mug. Examining it closer, she realized that both his and her mugs were the same. “Aliens.” Her eyes scanned the mug. Propaganda from the Roswell Gift Shop. “Only you.” “What?” “The mugs.” “Oh, I never told you I visited Roswell?” “Your crazy, Mulder.” “I know that Scully. You’ve managed to remind me throughout the years. “I figure you need that reassurance.” Mulder chortled. “Scully, allow me to make it up to you. How about I show up for a game of backgammon.” “God, do you know me well.” “I try, I really do.” Scully’s eyebrows rose sharply at his response. “I doesn’t show.” “Then I’ll try harder.” “Why waste your energy on me?” “What do you mean?” “You have a fire-loving, puppy dog following your ass in case you didn’t realize.” “Phoebe? Ooh, Scully, do I see the green-eyed monster?” “Yeah... why don’t we call in the PGTF...” she mumbled underneath her breath.” “What?” “Nothing, Mulder. You believe everything don’t you?” “I like monsters, Scully.” ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “You owe me 64 bucks.” Scully concluded as her last token returned home. “Jeez...” He lifted himself and extracted his wallet from his pocket. “Ya got change for a 100?” “Mulder, I’m joking.” “You hide your sarcasm so well.” As she was about to reply, his doorbell rang. “Excuse me.” He rose from his chair and looked through the peephole in his apartment door. Groaning audibly, he unlatched the door, and slowly opened it. “Hey Fox.” Ms. Green pushed passed his arms, taking off her shoes and throwing her pocketbook on the couch without noticing Scully sitting at the dining room table. “I think I’ll be going.” Scully herself rose from the table, making herself visible to Phoebe, grabbing her own pocketbook, backgammon board, and slipping on her own shoes. “Scully.. get back here.” His tone was serious. “That’s okay Mulder, I, understand.” “Scully, don’t you dare think about leaving.” He hissed this into Scully’s ear, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her closer to him. “Who wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to dine with 2 lovely women.” Scully felt flattered, as did Phoebe, but she showed her affection by leaning on the tips of her toes, and planting a small kiss on the apple of his cheek. Mulder blushed profusely. “What will it be ladies, Chinese, pizza, of Thai?” “Chinese.” Phoebe answered. “Thai.” Scully replied at the same time. They glared at each other stormily. “I guess we’ll go with pizza then.” Scully would have left then, except for the fact that she wanted to see Phoebe squirm. Ms. Green was obviously uncomfortable around the competition. “That’s okay Mulder. You guys order Chinese. I better be going anyway.” “Scully? Can I talk to you in the kitchen?” “Yeah, sure.” She headed to the kitchen, Mulder following her, guiding her with a hand on the shoulder. “Scully,” he whispered, making sure Phoebe didn’t hear. “Please, listen, stay here. I don’t want to fall asleep listening to her idiotic statements. I mean she’s nice, but, boring.” “Mulder, I am not your cup of coffee. If you want your relationship with Phoebe to last, you’d use that smart-ass brain of yours and figure a way around your little dilemma, otherwise you can sleep night and day for all I care.” “Scully,” He grabbed her wrist again, his eyes as well as his voice pleading with her. “Mulder, let me go.” She grumbled through gritted teeth. “Scully, I know you don’t like her but I’m asking you to help me out.” “You know, every time you have to do something serious, you can never do it yourself? Mulder, I don’t know exactly what your childhood was like, but people aren’t going to keep helping you out just because you ask? I have realized that myself and now I can find the strength to do anything, and this is probably why you keep asking me.” “Scully, I’m really getting suspicious about her. She leaves at nights, never lets me know, I think she’s seeing Langly.” Both of Scully’s eyebrows rose in amusement. “Mulder, we better talk about this later.” “Yeah.” The two retreated into the main of room Mulder’s apartment. “Another game of backgammon?” She suggested. “Do you know how to play, Phoebe?” Mulder asked her, knowing already that she didn’t. “A little bit, but I’ll be on you side.” He groaned inwardly, and showed Scully a sneer. Chuckling to herself, she unfolded the wooden board, setting the pieces in their places. Scully’s mind wasn’t on the game though, instead on her relationship with Mulder. Even playing half-heart-edly, she beat her two opponents, mainly because Mulder let Phoebe make their moves. He sighed loudly every time Scully captured one of their pieces. Basic moves which would prevent her from getting captured she ignored, instead forging the pieces ahead, only to be craftily seized by Scully. “What an.. interesting match.” Scully was amazed at the ignorance that this was all she could say. As she reset the pieces, the delivery guy showed up, bringing a large veggie pizza. Mulder brought the box down to the table. His next problem was where to sit; Scully was on one side of the table, Phoebe on the other. He dashed into the kitchen to grab the plates. Without thinking, he sat down next to Scully. Mulder noticed Phoebe scowling across from him. His gave an apologetic look. The three of them sat, eating their pizza, talking mindlessly about FBI cases. As Mulder was finishing the last piece, a large piece of cheese hung down from his lip. Without thinking, Scully pried it lose and threw it back into his mouth. Mulder blushed, Phoebe steamed. Ms. Green, being excessively jealous by nature, crept her hand over to Mulder’s side underneath the table, hoping to reclaim him. Instead of grabbing Mulder’s knee though, she grabbed Scully’s. Feeling the foreign hand on her body, Scully kicked Phoebe squarely in the shin, causing her to gasp sharply, and realize she was touching the wrong person. “Something wrong?” Mulder stayed oblivious to the goings-on beneath the table. “I, uh.. I just got a really bad cramp.” “Can I help?” “Uh, no it’s not that bad.” Mulder shrugged at her, then groaned sometime later, as his stomach began digesting the 7 pieces he ate. “No wonder you stay that large...” Scully thought aloud. “Oh, that helps.” Came the reply for the couch. Phoebe followed him to the couch, rubbing her shin and throwing Scully dirty looks. “Got some herbs Mulder?” “Check if ya want.” ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ As Scully waited for the water to boil, she finally had enough time to think about Mulder’s statement. Her mind spun, excited at the fact that he might get rid of her. Before her thought could progress, the kettle whistled. Scully poured the water into one of the mugs which she lined with herbs. After the water had darkened it a brown, she strained the brew, and poured the tea back into the cup. Scully slowly walked back into the room, carrying the cup shakily. She found Phoebe kneeling down by his side, rubbing his stomach against his wishes. She watched as Phoebe massaged his stomach, descending her hands down, and Mulder raising them to safer territory. “Try this.” She handed him the mug, her hands visibly trembling with jealousy. “Where’d you find the herbs, Scully?” He sipped the liquid cautiously, finding it tasting “Old tea bags, some loose stuff in your cupboard; you’re more of a naturalist than I thought. How is it?” “I’m impressed. Effective too.” He continued to slosh the tea around in his mouth, finishing it in the next two gulps. Phoebe’s face reddened, her body beginning to shake slightly. “Thank you... master.” She muttered, her anger swelling as well. Scully took the cup back to the kitchen as Mulder raised to a sitting position upon his couch. The next few minutes were uncomfortable as well. Mulder was on the couch, flipping through the channels, Scully was still in the kitchen with the dishes, and Phoebe was sitting alongside Mulder, although he obviously didn’t want her there. When Scully returned, Mulder asked: “Now what would you like do to ladies? It’s only a little after 10..” “Oh, my God.” Phoebe’s face drained of it’s usual color. She looked at her own watch, to make sure he wasn’t lying. “Uhh.. I gotta go. Later Fox.” She grabbed the purse from the armchair and ran out the door. “See what I mean?” “Yeah. What do you plan on doing about it?” “See where she’ sneaking off.” “Stakeout, Mulder? My treat...” Scully reached for her own bag, jangling the keys. “You are evil. Pure evil.” An eerie smile crept about both of their faces. “Let’s go, we might not be able to find her..” They took off as quickly as their four feet could take them towards Scully’s car. Luckily, Phoebe’s car had just left the parking lot. Mulder hopped into the driver’s side, not bothering to just adjust the seat, and quickly started the car. Seeing him cramped into the tiny space between the seat and the steering wheel, she reached underneath him and pulled the lever, sliding the seat back. “Short people... geez..” Mulder gave her a cynical smile, while keeping his eyes on the car in front of him. “Mulder, stay back. I think she suspects us already.” “Okay.” He released the gas pedal, slowing the car behind her on the parkway. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “Do you recognize the place?” “No... I don’t think it’s Langly’s though.” “I saw some guy in there.” Scully turned to eye her partner. Phoebe had been acting strange around him lately, hastening their meetings and acting very suspiciously, and now he was preparing to ditch her. Not before I get her first, Mulder, Scully thought to herself. Her next plans were to go digging in the lab. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “There she is! Whose that at the door, Scully?” Mulder frantically pointed at the front door of the residence. “Oh, my GOD!” Scully followed his pointing hand. At the door he was referring to, she saw Phoebe giving Frohike a goodnight kiss, and more. “Damnit. I thought he liked you.” Mulder let his forehead drop against the steering wheel. Scully reached her arms around him, comforting and identifying with his grief. “She didn’t deserve you, Mulder.” “And you’re happy about this?” “Yes. She treated you like dirt and it wasn’t yours to handle. I mean with Frohike! It’s hilarious.” “Thanks.” “Mulder, I didn’t mean it like that. You were let down; I know how it feels. You just have to move on, but I have an idea that might help you settle the score.” “Scully.. you are evil.” ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “I thought you didn’t like the cafeteria food?” “I’ll live with it. I was too tired to run out and get something.” “You okay, Scully?” “Yeah, fine.” Mulder grabbed a sandwich, Scully, a bowl of soup. They sat down at the tables, not finding anything to talk about. “Are you okay, Mulder?” “I think so. I just can’t believe Phoebe would do that.” Scully used all of her self-control not to laugh. “Well, speak of the bitc..” She muttered towards Mulder as Phoebe plopped herself down by Mulder’s side. “Hi, Fox.” She chirped, again forgetting Scully. “Hey.” He pulled his arm from her grasp, generally disgusted at her cheerfulness. “What’s the matter, Fox.” “Oh nothing,” He chirped, imitating her voice. “Okay, just asking.” Ms. Green began eating her lunch. Perfect, Scully thought to herself. Now for the distraction. She felt for the small tube she had brought in her suit pocket. “Excuse me.” She rose, looking around for Agent Wislo. Finding her in an inconspicuous corner talking to Agent Thalheimer, she interrupted the conversation. “Hi Val, Jos, uhm, would you mind if I spoke to you privately for a second?” “Sure. Later Val.” He smiled, turned around and left. “Hi Dana, what do you need?” “He’s quite a number.” “I know.” Agent Wislo said with a wink. “Well, I was wondering if you could cause a little diversion for me. I have a little business to take care of, and it’s pretty important so I don’t want to let Mulder in on it. If you could just cause something, I’d be grateful.” “What did you have in mind?” “I don’t know... be creative. The bigger, the better.” “What are you going to do anyway?” “I’ll tell you if it succeeds. Thanks Wis. I owe you.” Scully hurried off to join Mulder and Phoebe, who seem to have moved further away from each other. “Dana!” She yelled as loud as she dared after her friend, but got no response. Sighing, she looked for Jos and started plotting. Five minutes later: “You little b****...” Valerie screamed, picking up a glob of the pasta she was eating and flung it in Agent Rivera direction. Everyone in the cafeteria turned to see it, hearing the splatter of spaghetti on cashmere. “My cashmere! Oohh. You know he wants me more, you slut.” Agent Rivera responded by throwing a large amount of mashed potatoes from her plate. The two continued as every watched them, except Scully. Quickly, she grabbed the small tube from her pocket and dumped it’s contents, Dimethylaminoazobenzene, into the Phoebe’s bowl of beef stew. The fight was ended, two nearby agents pulling the two off of each other. All the faculty who were watching returned to their meals. “Talk about repressed anger.” Mulder mumbled. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “Interesting lunch hour.” “Most definitely.” The two agents returned to the basement, leaving shortly after that incident. They returned to their work as usual, until Agent Pratt came in. “Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, come quickly!” She hurried out of their office, Mulder and Scully right behind her. Agent Pratt led them to the Forensics lab where they found Phoebe on the floor, wheezing. “Oh, my God!” Scully said, hiding her sarcasm well. She knelt by her convulsing body. “Looks like she’s been poisoned! She’s got horrible rashes.. We have to get her to a hospital, now, Mulder. Get an analysis of the stew she ate.” Mulder didn’t move, he just stood there, mouth ajar. “What are you standing there for, Mulder? She’s dying!” All Mulder could concentrate on was the choking sounds. More people had arrived in the office. “Get Mulder out of here.” Scully retreated from the body as group of people took Phoebe’s body out and to a hospital. After the group had left, Scully stayed, chuckling and muttering, “You wouldn’t get away with it Phoebe, he’s mine...” ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ Phoebe’s funeral was short and simple. Most of the agents from the Bureau attended it, including Mulder and Scully. “I wanted to kill her Scully. Look what I did to her..” Mulder whispered, as Phoebe’s parents talked about their daughter. “Mulder, it was not your fault. The report showed nothing except a contaminated bowl of soup, bugged with Dimethylaminoazobenzene, a chemical commonly found in analyses. It was a simple infection from a lab agent. A complete mistake, Mulder. It had nothing to do with you.” “Maybe so, but I still feel it.” “You will, Mulder, you always will.” She sighed, hating to see her jealousy making him so depressed. It had to be done, she reassured herself. She had to pay. ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ “You sure you okay, Mulder?” Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunmen, and Skinner were chatting in the back of the funeral home after the service. “Yeah, I found out she was cheating on me.” He shot daggers through is eyes at Frohike. He acted like he didn’t notice him. “The health report says she was pregnant, but the substance killed the baby. Any ideas on whose it is?” Skinner, Frohike, and Langly all replied- “Mine.” All six pairs of eyebrows rose. After moments of discomfort, Mulder doubled over with laughter. His merriment was contagious, until all of them were in tears from the amusement. “I’m, I’m sorry.. I probably shouldn’t be laughing.” He stuttered, clutching his aching sides. “C’mon, Mulder.” Scully grabbed his forearm, and pulled him into the lounge, forcing him to sit on the couch. “You feeling okay?” “No, actually I’m still in shock, even though I probably shouldn’t care. Anyway, I want to thank you, Scully.” “For what?” “For making me understand that Phoebe was not who I wanted. You are. I was trying to mold her into a model of you, but I realized that no one could be as amazing as you are naturally.” “Well, I’m flattered.” “Scully, I knew how much you disliked her..” Mulder began, but was interrupted by Scully’s giggle. “‘Dislike’?” “I’m sorry, lemme start over. Scully, I knew how much you hated her, and I know you poisoned her; I just didn’t want to say anything in front of them.” Scully colored profusely. “No need to get embarrassed, Scully. I think killing her was the only way to get her off my back. It was a little extreme, but I know the capabilities of your mind, and I’d like to explore that further. Tomorrow, Double J’s, around 7:00?” Without thinking, Scully leaned towards him, grazing their lips slightly. “I can’t wait.” She whispered, rising, and stalking out of the lounge, throwing Mulder an evil look. He gazed back in disbelief and amusement, sighing, as he relaxed into the sofa. The End ~The Oddest Goddess