=========================================================================== ARCHIVE NOTE: Linnea Graybill's email address has changed. 17JUN96 Her new address is: jgraydil@paloverde.com =========================================================================== From: stefaniexf@aol.com (StefanieXF) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: 1/? Regrets Sur Quoi L'enfer Se Fonde Date: 7 Apr 1996 13:27:57 -0400 NOTE: This is being posted by StefamnieXF@aol.com, but I didn't write it! Please direct all comments, praise, encouragement etc to Linnea at:- jgraydill@paloverde.com **************************************************************** Hi. Uh, no, this isn't in French. The title is translated into "The Regrets on which hell is based" and I stole it from La Chanson du mal-aime (the Song of the Ill-Beloved) by Guillaume Apollinaire. I just thought that was a very nifty title for something. Just so you know when you start to read this you might think it's a take-off of first season's "Fire" but it's not, I assure you. Anyway, I appreciate all comments good, bad or downright evil so drop me a note! And just so you know, the name is GrayBill but the email address is GrayDill...long story...don't ask... And I'm not sure how many parts this is going to have. It's just going to keep going until it's done but I'm trying to keep the parts relatively short so this won't be 500k when it's done. DISCLAIMER: The characters and the show and everything belongs to Chris Carter and 1013 and Twentieth Century Fox, etc. , etc. No copyright infringement intended. And I'm not sure who La Chanson du mal-aime belongs to but no copyright infringement intended towards that, either. Regrets Sur Quoi l'enfer se Fonde Part One by Linnea Graybill jgraydill@paloverde.com The crunch of the leaves left a sickening picture in his mind. The picture of the bones being crushed and the screams came back to mind. He winced in pain and turned his head, twitching nervously. His eyes blinked rapidly and he was brought back to reality as he heard the whimpers of his victim. Of his sacrifice. His atonement. He turned and positioned himself directly in front of the man tied to the tree and looked into his eyes. And then, all of a sudden, he dropped to his knees and started to pray. He mumbled under his breath so all that his victim could hear was the occasional lisp. He then got up and piled the leaves around his victim's feet and then made a circle of sand around the leaves and stepped back. He looked up into the sky and uttered the words, "Mon dieu, rien ne pleure pour lui...Il faut morir." He raised his arms into a V over his head and the smoldering started, then the flames flickered and burst out, engulfing the trunk of the tree and the victim began to scream. His head dropped as he listened to that scream. That scream that he had heard so many times before. And as horrible it was to listen to the silence which followed was even more horrific, filling the forest with a silence that was unnatural. The crickets had stopped chirping long ago and continued their silence until he finally broke it. "Je l'ai tue." FBI Headquarters Washington, D.C. 9:34 am, March 25, 1996 Scully walked into the basement office feeling pretty good. She'd caught up on lost sleep over the weekend and even had had time to get together and have lunch with her mother. They'd gone to a nice, quiet cafe near her mother's house and hadn't mentioned her sister or father once and there wasn't even any tension. She smiled. And then she saw Mulder.. He sat, brooding behind his desk and she could tell this was not going to be a fun day. He didn't even acknowledge her as she walked in. So she tried to bring a light to the office that always made her become claustrophobic when he got like this. "Good morning, Mulder!" she said in her cheeriest voice possible. She brought a wide smile to her face and looked at him, waiting for his response. He grunted. Then he took his feet off the desk, picked up the file and shoved it in her direction while he looked down at the ground. She carefully took it from him. He started to speak. "Seven deaths in the last two months in Arizona forests. All have the same M.O. Victim is tied to a tree and burned alive and there's a circle of sand found around them, or I should say there was sand. Due to intense heat the sand is now glass." Scully flipped through the file, noting the rather graphic pictures. "So I assume we're going to visit the Grand Canyon State?" Mulder slowly nodded. "Um, Mulder? I'm just wondering...what's your interest in this case?" He looked up at her and replied with a little more energy but he still made her feel like falling asleep. "I have no interest in this case. I'd rather not be doing this case. But it's come down the executive ladder and found a home on my desk. No where else for it to go...there seemed to be fires but no incendiary devices were found. No matches, no gas or fuel, nothing." "Is it a matter of others just not wanting to take the time to figure it out or is it truly enigmatic?" Mulder shrugged and got up. "Plane leaves for Phoenix in two hours. I'll pick you up at your place in an hour." And he left. She looked through the file once more and couldn't see anything that would bother him. Not in any obvious way, anyway. She slipped the file in her briefcase and left the office, locking the door behind her. Mulder pulled up to the curb fifteen minutes late. She made a mad rush through the house to make sure she's turned off the coffee pot and had her house keys and then left with her small duffel and her briefcase in hand, her trench coat draped over her shoulder. She locked the door behind her and stumbled down the hall and out of the building, rather annoyed he hadn't come to help her like he usually did. He had already popped the trunk for her and she dumped her stuff, noticing the excessive room. He had only brought one bag as well, which was unusual considering his luggage usually took up the entire trunk space and most of the back seat. She shut the trunk and went up to the passengers seat, sitting down and before she could even close the door he took off. They made it to the airport in record time but Mulder didn't seem to notice. He grabbed his bag and checked it in, her chasing after him trying to catch up. By the time she followed him onto the plane he was already seated and reading a magazine. She sat down and looked at him. He saw her looking. Why is she looking at me? He stared down at the text. Stared hard. Determined not to let her win. Stop it, Scully. Stop looking at me. He felt her eyes penetrate his soul and he tried to concentrate and at least appear to seem like he was reading. "Dammit, Scully! Leave me alone!" The plane's occupants went deftly silent and they slowly looked back at the two partners. Whoops. "What the hell is the matter with you?" she asked in a low whisper. The passengers around them went back to their conversations. "Just...just leave me alone." She paused and considered the options. A, she could leave him alone, make both of them happy and possibly lead to a more enjoyable trip or B, she could pester him about it until he finally told her and then he'd be mad at her and she'd be mad at him for being mad at her. "No." He let out a sigh. "Scully, please..." "No. Why should I?" "Because I asked you to." At risk of sounding like her mother she replied with, "That's not good enough." He sighed again. She regretted having said that and changed the sound of her voice to one of more understanding. "What's going on?" He put down the magazine and looked at her. "I really don't want to talk about it." "Okay. Then let's go over the case." He looked uncomfortably at her and then stood up. "I'm gonna use the little boys room. Excuse me." He squeezed by her and down the walkway and found the bathroom and went inside, closing the door securely and then leaned back on the door and slowly slid to the floor. What are you doing, Mulder? You're being an idiot...He crouched on the floor and then heard a knock on the door. A soft rapping that slowly became more insistent. "C'mon, Mulder. I'm sorry. We won't discuss it anymore." He didn't answer. "Mulder, I'm serious. You can tell me when and if you're ready." He remained silent. "Mulder?" "Yeah?" "Please come out." He slowly stood up and opened the bathroom door. He felt his face go red, feeling like a small child being coaxed out of hiding by his mother and he saw everyone look at him as he walked down the aisle, not helping his color any. But what do you care, Mulder? When have you ever cared what others think and say about you? They took their seats again and heard the pilot come on over the speaker. A short time later they felt the plane rise into the air. Mulder felt his stomach go a bit queazy. No matter how many times he flew he never got used to the initial feeling of going up into the air. He rested his head on the window and stared blankly out on the city they were leaving behind. Scully glanced at him, trying very hard to seem like she was giving him some space. She'd seen him get like this before. But it was usually something personal, something about his family, usually. Never had he been like this just over a case. She started going over the case file. **** =========================================================================== From: Graybill Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: NEW:Regrets part 2 Date: 8 Jun 1996 00:48:41 GMT I can finally post!! YES! Please tell me if there are any problems. Regrets Sur Quoi l'enfer se Fonde Part 2 by Linnea Graybill jgraydill@paloverde.com Sky Harbor Air Port Phoenix, Arizona 6:04 pm The plane landed and they got off , feeling the heat penetrate their skin "Six o'clock at night, Scully, and a hundred degrees out. This is why I don't live in Phoenix. Listen, it's a three hour drive to get where we're going, what do you say we put it off until tommorow morning. Frankly, I'm beat." She nodded, noting how he'd seemed to relax a little more but was using excuses to put off the case as long as possible. She was beginning to dread the days they would spend on this case. They walked straight out and on to the shuttle to the rental car agency and Scully couldn't resist making a comment. "It's sort of nice not having to go to the baggage claim and rent three of those little carts to haul your luggage to the shuttle, Mulder," she said with a smirk. He gave her a glare but she saw the corners of his mouth turn up a little and she broke into a smile and he followed. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. They dropped off their luggage at the hotel and decided to walk the two blocks to the nearest decent restaurant. The weather had dropped to a more mild eighty degrees in the hour and a half time period which suited both agents much better. Scully had purposely not brought the case file with them, hoping to give Mulder a feeling of being away from work and maybe get him to tell her what was going on. But don't pester him, Dana. Don't get him upset. He'll tell you soon enough. They walked into the small restaurant which was set up in the plainest fashion possible. As they were taken to their table Mulder looked around, seeing faded furniture and peeling wallpaper and as soon as their waiter left he whispered, "Scully, this place is a dump." "Yeah, I see. But I'm really in the mood for some decent Mexican food. I hate the East Coast stuff so deal with it for now. One hour of your life, Mulder." He sighed and started to breeze through the menu. "Besides," she started in to enforce her point, "sometimes dumps have the greatest food. They don't waste their money on fixing up the place." "Okay, okay, you've made your point." The waiter came back and they both ordered. Mulder ordered a taco and beans and Scully whispered to him after the waiter left, "If you're still hungry after that you're not getting any of mine so don't even think about it." He smiled. She was used to him ordering enough food to feed a nice-sized circus crew and he still usually mooched off her when he was done. "I'm just not really hungry, Scully. Don't worry." She spied him staring at the plain decor of the restaurant and neither of them spoke until the food came a good twenty minutes later. A gleam came to Scully's face as the steaming plate came to her and Mulder nodded a thank you as his plate was put before him. He picked at his food and watched Scully chow down. Scully noticed him staring at her and noticed he'd barely touched his own food. "How does it feel to have the tables turned?" she asked with a smile. He nodded. After about five minutes Mulder got up from the table. "Scully, I'm going to go for a walk. I'll meet you back at the hotel later=2E" She stopped eating. Let him go. Let him go, he needs some time, just say okay, just say okay, just say okay... "Um, okay...I'll see you later." He walked out of the restaurant and she noticed he hadn't touched anything on his plate. **** Scully barely heard the knock above the television and got up to answer the door. Mulder stood there with a lopsided smile on his face. "Can I come in?" She opened the door for him and he walked in. "Scully, I'm sorry. I've been holding back on you..." "No, really?" she said, a little bit too sarcastically. "The victims were burned to death, right? Ashes and everything are found at the scene but the tree isn't even scorched, well, except for one thing. On all the trees, just above where the victim's head would have been are the following letters: IHS and a cross starting on the horizontal line of the H." "In hoc signo...In this sign. Yeah, I guess it's generally considered to mean Jesus, Saviour and Reedemer." Mulder nodded. And then started his explanation with a sigh. "I did a background check on all the victims...and this wasn't easy, Scully, but I found that all the victims were self proclaimed atheists. Now that charred mark means a little more, doesn't it?" Scully nodded, trying to desperately see if this was connected to what was bothering him. And then he just let loose. "Scully, you're religious, right? I man, you're not pious but you are religious, right?" She nodded slowly, urging him to continue. "My parents went to church every Sunday, all the evening services and they had me go to confirmation class. But the thing is..." He trailed off and she saw him start to shake, just a slight tremor here and there and she led him over to the chair next to the table and had him sit down. She sat across from him on the bed. "Scully, I believe that Jesus was the son of God...it's just that I don't believe in God. At all. And it's just one of those things that people don't think are that important, not today anyway. Not when most people don't go to church, but when Samantha was taken my parents became just ridiculously religious. I guess they turned to the church to atone for their sins or something like that. And there I was, you know, trying to grasp on to the last strand connecting me to them and I always fell short." "I understand what you're going through Mulder--" He stood up suddenly and pointed his finger accusingly at her and raised his voice, "Dammit, Scully, you don't know! You couldnt know!! You have no idea what it's like to have your parents focus on your sister and then become so entwined in something else that you don't believe in and you can never relate to them! You have got no idea, Scully! And you never will." She saw him begin to falter and die off into a whisper, choking on the words as they escaped his lips. "It became all that ever mattered to them...and it's the only thing I could never believe in..." He fell back into the chair and went on. "And you'd think it shouldn't bother me...I'd sort of left it behind...but now this case...I'm just remembering the hell I lived through. God, Scully, I can't believe I just told you that...I've never told anyone before..." She saw the life start to drain from him and he grew pale. She helped him up and took him down the hall to his room and laid him down on the bed, watching him fall asleep and then went back to her own room, trying to put herself in Mulder's shoes. **** She woke up to Mulder's incessive knocking on her door. "Scully, it's 8:30! C'mon, get up!" She mumbled something under her breath and checked the watch on her nightstand. It was 8:30. She sat up suddenly and got out of bed calling to Mulder=2E "Sorry! I'll be out in ten minutes." Mulder walked back into his hotel room. Why hadn't she made sure they would get a wake-up call? Now they wouldn't get to the crime scene until noon and they'd most likely end up working through the night, making up for lost time. He sighed. This case was going to be bad enough without being tired. "God, Mulder, how could you be an idiot and tell her all that stuff last night? Why couldn't you just shut up for once?" he asked himself. "Why not just announce it to the world? Let everyone know!" He fell back into the chair and felt himself drifting off into sleep as he waited for Scully. He hadn't slept too well the night before. Kept waking up. He heard her light rap on his door and shook his head, waking himself up and opened the door. He picked up his bag in one hand and followed her down the hall and into the lobby. "You okay, Mulder? You look tired." "I'm fine," he said. A little too quickly and curtly he noticed seconds later. They went out to the car and Scully slipped into the drivers seat and started the car before he could protest but he knew he shouldn't drive. He was too tired. As soon as they got onto the highway he felt himself drifting off into sleep. **** Scully noticed the signs as she drove. "Prescott; 28 miles." They would stop there for some coffee and maybe something to eat. She heard her stomach rumble. She glanced over at Mulder and saw him flinch occasionally. She worried about him. A lot, she noticed. All of a sudden he sat up, suddenly awake and breathing in short, gasping breaths. She turned to look at him as he put his head in his hands and she pulled over onto the shoulder. She saw a cold sweat break out over his face and she pulled his hands away from his head. "Are you okay?" He nodded. "It's nothing," he replied. She felt that he didn't want to pursue it anymore and she pulled back onto the road, driving north. **** That's it for part 2. Now, just so you know, I'm not sure if Mulder is actually an atheist, or if he ever went to church. It just seemed logical to go that way. And, of course, if future episode imply that he does believe in God, etc., etc. then, by all means, do not let this notion cloud your judgement. And I'm sorry if I've offended anyone out there with the idea that favorite male telivision character might not believe in God but what can I say? Flame me all to hell, if you'd like. Please send anything you want to to jgraydill@paloverde.com. Criticism is appreciated! Until next time...atone for their sins or something like that.