From: Amanda "Bäcklin" Date: Fri, 20 Feb 2004 14:27:42 -0800 (PST) Subject: Remember by Amanda Bäcklin Source: direct Title: Remember Author: Amanda Bäcklin Rating: I'm not so good at this... There's some terrible violence at the end, but no "slaughtering". Some bad words might show up. Keywords: Hmm... Lost of memory, some angst... Maybe some more angst... Category: AU, Angst, maybe just a little MSR. Inspiration: A movie called "Long Kiss Goodnight" Summary: Scully looses her memory in a... shall we say car accident? She ends up in a small village on the country and all the people from her past think that she's dead. One day there's a murder in the village and the FBI's called in... (Oh, you can *newer* guess who comes among the other guys from the FBI!) Disclaimer: I don't own Mulder and Scully. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 productions and 20th century FOX. Not me. I think that they also belong to David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson how gave them life, who gave them soul. Most of all they belong to each other. I don't make any money on this and I'm too young to be sued, so don't bother. Archive: If you want to. Just let me know where my stuff ends up and don't change anything! Feedback: Yes, make me happy and (hopefully) a better author. Warning: Character Death... And then we have the fact that I wrote this story in my own little half psycho wicked way. I'm not an American so maybe the grammar isn't perfect. Big thanks to the first one who read this. Emma, my wonderful friend far away who encouraged me to keep on writing and got me to make the end more dramatic (even if she made me stay up half the night on a weekday.) Authors note at the end. For Ingergerd: even though your body's not with us, your soul is. Here we go... Scully was in her car driving. She'd been out at the country looking at some stupid field circles Mulder had thought was some sort of "Alien landing marks". Of course he hadn't bothered to join her. So here she was, halfway out on the country and it was almost night! Her phone rang, "Yeah?" "Scully, it's me," a familiar voice said. "*Fox* Mulder, I'm gonna kill YOU slooowly." "Hey, Scully! Take it easy, I only got *one* Mulder, remember that," he warned her. "Yeah, after you've apologized for telling me to go to this God-forgotten place in the middle of nowhere just to look at some stupid circles probably made from a cow. People there must have thought I was crazy or suffered from some sort of strange brain disorder." "Craziness is a brain disorder," he told her. "Oh, SHUT UP Mulder!" "Love you to, Scully." "Yeah, sure." Scully hung up. Why did he have to put her out in the middle of nowhere on a Friday? She turned on the radio, Bonnie Tyler was singing and she joined her: "It's a heaaartache!! Nothing but a heaaaartache!! Hits you when it's too late! Hits you when you're doo-oown!! It's a fool's game... Nothing but a fooool's game... Standing in the cold raaain, Feeling like a cloo-oown..." It felt much better now when she had Bonnie. She passed a road sign, only half the way left until she was home. She started to drum with her fingers on the steering wheel. Drum, drum, drum... Suddenly all she saw was a big, white flash and then everything went silent and black, she didn't even have the time to scream. When she woke up she noticed someone was carrying her as he was walking on the side of a highway. It was a tall, muscular, blonde man with clear blue eyes. After a while they came to a little white house with a red pickup parked outside. He put her down in a hammock outside and opened the door. "Can you walk?" he asked. She stood up and took a step. She collapsed immediately. "It's okay. I guess I must have to carry you inside then, so I can call the doctor and make him come over to look at you," he said and lift her up again. "Where am I?" she managed to ask, then she looked at her self. "Where is my clothes?" she was only wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of panties. "I found you like this on the outside of a wheat field near the highway. Do you know what happened to you?" "No... No, I don't remember..." He put her down on a bed with a big patchwork quilt in green, blue, white and red. "I'm Enoch Rodgers," he said and looked at her, she was silent. "Do you have a name too?" he asked after a while. "I don't know, I don't remember that nether," she started to feel really frustrated now. No matter how hard she tried to remember, she couldn't. A single tear fell down her cheek. "I don't remember..." "It's okay. I'm going to call Dr. Smith and let him take a look at you. But fist I'm gonna get you some clothes." He went out from the room and after a while he came back with a pair of blue jeans and a flannel shirt. The clothes fitted her perfectly. "I, uhm, had a wife before, she was as small as you. But she's dead now," he said and a minute or two it actually looked like he was going to cry, but then he excused him self and went to call the doctor. xXxXxXx Mulder was standing in front of Scullys grave. Today it was eight years since she had been declared missing and seven years since the official declaration of death. He missed her so much, he loved her. He hadn't been able to admit it even to him self until it was too late. He had never been really recovered since she disappeared, everything had gone wrong, the X-files was now closed and he now worked for the Violent Crimes Section. "Eight years..." he said to him self. He couldn't believe that it was eight years since he last saw her. He remember how stupid he had been last time the talked, teasing her. Why did he have to send her out there that time? "I will never forget you, Scully," he whispered and laid a white rose next to her gravestone. He could feel the tears coming, but he didn't allow him self to cry, he hadn't done that the past eight years. xXxXxXx "Then Snow White and the prince rode away on the white horse and they lived happy all their lives." Clarice Roberts was eight years, one year younger than Ima, the girl she was reading for, but yet she was much older. Eight years ago, Enoch had found her out in nowhere and she couldn't remember a single thing from her past life or who she was, so she had been given a whole new identity and life. According to the doctors she was about 35 years now or older, but she liked to count the years she remembered. "Clarice?" a voice called from the hall. "Coming," she answered and got out to greet Enoch and give him a kiss. "You're home early, it isn't even lunch," she said. "I know, there's been a murderer in town, the FBI are there now." "Oh, my God. Who's dead?" "Sandra Stone, it was blood all over the place so I think that will be home late. I'm going to the station now, I just wanted to let you know." "But Sandra was only twelve. How's her mother? I go with you, she needs me." "What about Ima then? She can't be home alone, especially when a maniac is loose!" "We can take her with us." xXxXxXx Mulder looked on the woman across the table at the sheriff's office. He was in a very small village thirty miles outside Washington because there had been a terrible murder of a twelve-year-old girl. The woman in front of him where the girls mother. She was quite beautiful with long brown hair and green eyes but they where oh so ever sadly. "Uhm, Mrs. Stone. Is it okay if I ask a couple of questions?" She dried her eyes. "Yeah, sure." "Where where you at the time Sandra was home?" "I where juts at the grocery to bye some food." She started to cry. "Maybe we should wait with these questions until you're ready?" he asked and gave her a tissue. She dried away her tears, "Yes, I think so." The woman stood up and he followed her out, he needed to get some coffee. When he came out from the office he froze, he couldn't breathe. A woman was walking towards Mrs. Stone with a little girl in one hand. A woman with shoulder length auburn hair and blue eyes. Scully. Could it really be her? After all the years of searching, could she just be there like that? He didn't know what to do. She looked at him. Clarice walked to Martha and hugged her. "Oh, Martha. I'm *so* sorry!" She could hear Martha sobbing on her shoulder and held her tighter. "Come, Martha. Let's go out to the car." She took her hand and they started to walk out from the station. But when she turned around to see if she could find Enoch, who had got in while she was parking the car, she saw another man in a black business suit and with dark hair gazing at her from her husband's office. He seemed so familiar... "Are we going home to you?" Martha woke her from her thoughts. "Yes." She said and walked out to the car. He hated him self! How could he just stand there and watch her go? The love of his life! He needed to find her, now. He turned to one of the two cops that was left at the office. "Do you know who the woman who just went is?" "Yes. She's Enoch Roberts's wife," he said and pointed at a gray haired, tall man just coming out from the men's room. Enoch? What was that for a name? xXxXxXx Mulder was standing outside the door to a white house. He had looked up Roberts and found out that he lived here. He had already been standing there for five minutes, not knowing if he should knock or not. What should he say if she opened and what should he say if somebody else did? Suddenly the body took over and he could feel his hand knock on the door. She was sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea all by her self, Martha and Ima where both sleeping in the guesthouse and she her self where up waiting for Enoch to come home. It was at this moments she used to allow her self to thinking "What was before this?" but the answers seemed to be hidden so deep inside of her that they couldn't find their way up. The she heard somebody knocked on the door. She froze and a thought ran through her brain She looked out the window, it was the man from the police office, probably an FBI agent. She went to open the door. "What may I help you with?" she asked. "It's me, Mulder!" She looked at the man, except at the police office, she had never seen him before. "I'm sorry you must have gone wrong." "Scully?" He looked her right in the eyes. "No, my name is Cla-" she couldn't finish the sentence. Her heart was pounding faster and faster and her lungs didn't want to work. This was too much at once. She just sat down right where she was standing. "I, I remember, Mulder..." she managed to get out between the tears. He sat down beside her looking really worried. "Scully, how are you? You have to explain to me, 'Cause I don't know what's going on right now." he said and looked at the little women on the veranda floor. "Yeah, sure. But I don't know if I'm able to stand up by my self." He helped her up and when she stood up, he couldn't resist the feeling to hug her. He wrapped her in his arms and he could feel that she was hugging him back. "I've missed you so, Scully, and I've searched for you every where. Now you're married and got a child. What has happened and why didn't you contact anyone? Why didn't you contact me?" He could feel the anger rising in his body and let go of her. Why had she left everybody? It was first now that it hit him, maybe she didn't want to see anyone from her old life. "Come in." she said and showed him to the kitchen. "First of all, Ima is not my child, I'm not her biological mother. And second, I didn't even know that you existed until now and now I'm all confused over everything!" Scully said. "What do you men with 'I didn't even know that you existed until know'?" "Until you came the only things I ever known about is the past eight years back." She swallowed and then she continued, "One day, in April, eight years ago 'Noch, my husband, found me almost naked outside a field and I couldn't remember a thing. He took care of me and learned me everything important I had forgot and somehow, I started to love him." Mulder thought and felt hurt, almost betrayed. He wanted her to love *him* as much as he loved her. "What are you going to do?" he asked her. "I don't know. I can barely melt all this, thirty years of fact just crashing in to my head. And..." "And what?" "I do have a husband." Mulder looked at her. Then he noticed something under her shirt. "What's that on your shoulder, Scully?" he said and looked at the big bruise. "Nothing." She said quick, too quick. "Who had done that to you? Is it he, has he done this to you?" She didn't answer so he continued, "Take of your shirt, Scully. I want to see if there is more." Scully took of her shirt, in one way it felt good to show someone else, but Enoch wasn't really a mean person, sometimes he just had a lot of anger that needed to come out. "It's not so bad as it looks like. He doesn't mean it." She said to somehow try to protect her husband, not knowing why. When Mulder saw the bruises he got scarred and angry. Angry with him self, angry with the man who did this. He didn't mean it? Hell he did! "Scully you got to get out from here, you can't let him hit you like this! Even if everything are just spinning round for you right now, you got to think." "It's just when he's drunk, I can handle this," she said and put on her shirt. "No, you cant and you're probably half in chock now and need to get to a hospital. You just got a thirty-year-flashback." "I think you should go now. I can take care of this my self and I will go to the doctor." She said and led him to the door. "You know that I always will be there for you." He said before leaving. Why are you going? He kept repeating while he was going back to the village who laid three kilometers away. He had walked all the way there so that she wouldn't hear the sound from the car. "You find what you've been looking for the past decade and now your walking away?" he said to him self. A care drew by in the opposite direction. xXxXxXx She didn't hear the car stopping outside, she was too busy thinking. Who was she? Was she Dana Scully or Clarice Roberts? A FBI agent or a housewife? The door opened, it was Enoch. "Clarice!" he slurred. She could immediately hear that he was drunk. "Clarice! Come out here, we need to talk!" he shouted. It wasn't a question, she went out in the hall. "Who where the man that was walking away from my house when I was driving home?" he asked. He sounded very angry. She didn't know what to tell him when he was like this and he immediately saw that se doubted. The first slap burned on her face. "This isn't a fucking whorehouse!" he screamed and she could feel the smell of alcohol. He slapped her over the face again. "And I'm not a whore!" she screamed back. He punched her right in the stomach and she lost her breath. While she was trying to breathe he took of his belt, it whippet over her and she started too scream from the burning pain. "Shut up, bitch!" he said and hit her to the floor, then he sat on top of her taking a grip around her throat. Think that you're in another place, she tried to convince her self. He doesn't exist. He doesn't exist. She saw a flash of something metallic. XXxXxXx Mulder stopped, he had walked almost the whole way back now but whom where he trying to fool? He loved Scully above everything. She was his everything! He turned around. She needed him. He started to walk back to her house. "How can you be so stupid?" he mumbled to him self and hurried on his steps. When he came back to Scullys house he could scene that something was wrong and then her hear a man scream, "Your fucking bitch don't try that, look at me!" He ran up the entrance as fast as he could, he was going to kill that bastard. He swore on that! What if that beast had done her something? What if he had hurt Scully? The thoughts flashed through Mulders head and soon he was at the door, it was slightly open but he just threw it up. "Get of her!" he screamed at the man on top of Scully. The man, Scullys husband, looked up. He got on his feet. Mulder could see something in his hand, shiny and sharp stained with blood, Scullys blood! He was throwing himself towards Mulder with the knife raised and Mulder didn't have the chance to escape. He could feel something burning on the left side of his chest. It wasn't room for the anger that now filled him and he concentrated it all on this man. This man who had hurt his Scully who had treated her like garbage. He didn't think, the only thing he knew was that he had to save her, save Scully. He didn't know how he did it, but Enoch Roberts lay dead on the floor with seven knife cuts in his chest and stomach. He looked at Scully. She was laying on the floor in a big pile of blood. He sat down beside her holding her in his arms. "Oh, Scully, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you." She looked at him with her big, blue, tear filled eyes, oh so ever beautiful. "You didn't leave me. You never did. Never." She coughed and blood ran out of her mouth, then she laid back to find peace, she took a last breath and then it was all over. Time seemed to have stopped. Mulder looked at her lifeless body. He had searched for her so badly all these years and now, when he had found her, it ended like this. He suddenly felt pain in his chest and looked down. The whole shirt was stained with his blood and it kept come new from an ugly cut next to his heart. "You will not be alone," he said to Dana, the only one he trust, the only one he loved and then he gave her a last promise, a last kiss. Fin. Author's note: I'm glad somebody actually read the fiction through and I hoped that you cried! At least a little. This is my first serious attempt to fan fiction and I hope you enjoyed it, because I enjoyed writing it! Grandma, first one was for you. Feedback's appreciated! icequeen68090@yahoo.com