From: Humbuggie Date: 6 Jul 2003 12:44:32 -0700 Subject: xfc: Restless (vignette) 1/1 Source: atxc Restless By Humbuggie C 2003 feedback welcome: san@sv-tales.com Written for After-The-Fact (Irresistible)-challenge. A vignette, based on the song "Restless" by Within Temptation. Rated R for some explicit words and descriptions here and there She embraced with a smile; as she opened the door A cold wind blows, it puts a chill deep into her heart. You have taken away the trust; you're the ghost haunting through her heart. Past and present are one in her head; you're the ghost haunting through her heart. -- Within Temptation Restless I am angry. So very, very angry. No, that's not the correct word to use here. I'm upset. Furious. Agitated. Pissed. Irate. I want revenge. I want to tear that man's heart out of his chest, cook it and feed it to the dogs. I want to scratch his eyes out: to push my thumbs through his sockets until the vitreous fluids come bursting out. To hear him scream out loud while I pull out his fingernails and cut off his fingers, hiding them in his own fridge amongst truffles and grapes. I am not a Federal Officer right now. I'm a man fearing for the woman he cares for, more than he had ever imagined. I wish we were back in the medieval times, so I could slaughter him and forget there ever was a Donnie Pfaster. Moreover, it all melts away when she rests in my arms, leans her head into my chest and sobs. She has never been so disstressed before, and I just want to tell her that the ghosts will go away and the anger will subside. My vengeance evaporates when she clings to me. I want to promise her that the world, as she knows it, will return to normal. And I want to tell her she will live to see another beautiful day. Yet all of that doesn't seem to matter right now. There's not a single word I can say to her, that will take away this feeling of utter despair she's sensing right now. It crawls into her chest, grasps around her heart and tears at the muscles that breathe life into her day by day. I know it takes time. "Are you alright?" she suddenly asks, as she looks up through teary eyes. I'm startled by her question and almost smile. "Why are you asking me?" I say light-heartedly. "You're the one who was hurt." She shrugs. Her eyes dart about, and then capture the sight of Donnie Pfaster being taken away. She winces a bit, but her face never turns away from the man who tried to kill her. They meet, and she victories. She defies him with her glare that can be as cold as his. Only, in hers lies powerful contempt. In his lies fear, trepidation. He is a little man afraid of what is going to happen to him next. I smile when Pfaster is the one turning his eyes away, when he's escorted outside. He's now a pathetic creature with the self-respect of a coward, and the scared eyes of a puppy in despair. This vicious puppy slaughters though, and I will be testifying against him when he's taken to court. Justice will be served. If I can't gouge his eyes out, I will make sure that he becomes the permanent pet of a rapist. I'm pretty sure that will happen anyhow: in prison they detest child molesters and necrophiliacs. "Take me home, Mulder," Scully says, tearing my thoughts away from his evilness. "Hospital," I reply. "No. I'm fine." And she is. She gets a quick check-up from the paramedics who came to help her, and is then sent home. She has a few scars but nothing major. The worst scars are ones that cannot be seen with naked eye. Home is a hotel of course for now. We cannot fly back to D.C. tonight because it's too late and we'd both be exhausted. I prefer to have her in a hotel anyhow, in a room behind connecting doors, so that I can hear her when she's dreaming. Screaming. I fear that this will be the case. She might put on a brave face again, but I saw the anguish in her eyes that no one else can begin to understand. We've seen death many times, but this time it bit her soundly in the ass and fed on her worst fears. Fuck you, Donnie. I don't know if she dreams badly tonight, but I do. At first I switch channels for an hour, until I see the clock below the small television set turn five a.m. I finally leave it on, turn on my side, and try to get some rest while the corners of my eyes catch the flickering images. I'm dog-tired, yet sleep has never been so farther away. Compare it to the days when she was gone, it's amazing how long a man can live without drifting off. Suddenly I find myself in a dream where I open the door to Pfaster's house, and he's holding Scully. She's like a puppet in his hands and he has a grip on her fingers. One by one he cuts them off, and she is wide-awake for the horrific occasion. She screams, but not a single sound comes out of her mouth. She cries but her body will not respond to any stimuli to free herself from him. When I reach forward, he puts the huge scissors around her neck and chops off her head. I wake up bathed in sweat, grasping the sheets that cover my body. I kick them off and try to cool down. It takes a while. I'm dizzy from the lack of sleep and exhaustion. It's nearly eight AM. We have this unspoken code, Scully and I that we meet at eight in the lobby, whenever there's isn't an appointment or meeting or whatever. This time, I knock on her door instead. It takes a few moments and then she opens. I know at once she's far from fine. Her mouth may smile bravely, but her eyes speak the full truth. Without a word, I stretch my arms and allow her to enter the embrace she so desperately needs. Fuck you, Donnie. Fuck you for taking away her trust. For putting a ghost inside of her heart that she will never forget. From this day on, something will remain different inside of her. You made her remember the worst days of her life, the experiences that forever altered her and the terrible distress that she on suffering from so badly. Fuck you, for forcing me to become her helper. For pushing me into this role when I should not be performing it. She looks up and stares into my eyes. "I'm sorry," she says embarrassed. I lean forward and gently rub the tears from her cheeks as I have done last night. "For what?" I smile. And suddenly she smiles back. End