From: Spooky2u2 Date: 22 Jan 2003 23:35:41 GMT Subject: New: Revelation (1/1) Source: atxc Title: Revelation Author: Spooky2u2 Category: Angst, MSR, missing scene for Three Words Rating: PG Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to Fox Author's note: this was my way having some peace with the first scene in M's apartment when he comes home and what I feel would have been more appropriate to the episode in making S's pregnancy more compelling than "a tease." Hope y'all enjoy. **************************************************************************** "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just... I have no idea where I fit in. Right now. I just... I'm having a little trouble... processing... everything." Where he fits in? Upon learning of his lost time, Mulder seemed more than eager to 'hit life running ' as it were. God knows she was right there with him. It seemed as though life had come to a halt the day he disappeared. "Mulder, why don't you tell me what you think is happening here." His face would seem impassive to anyone else, but Scully knew better. At the same time she felt joy in the simple act of watching his eyes speak to her after months of only seeing them in her dreams, she also felt helpless against what she saw in them now. *I'm hurting, and you can't help me* "...I understand why you did it...I do. You don't have to keep trying to explain," he finally said. "Did what?" Mulder's eyes glanced sparingly at her swollen belly...much as he had done since he found out about her pregnancy. But he never seemed to want to talk about it. He just listened as she told him everything-- how the baby was healthy and how she had waited so long to share it with him. But she never pushed the issue. After all, the man had been through hell and back again. Twice. At first, she had thought it was just a lot for him to take in and he simply needed time to adjust after all that had happened . Perhaps he felt guilty for not being there from the beginning. But now there was clearly a deep sadness that she did not understand. "Mulder, what exactly is it that you think I did?" He looked down and said the next words as though insisting he liked spinach while he choked on the distaste of it, "You're pregnant, Scully." What was that supposed to mean? She couldn't hide the anger in her voice, as much as she tried to be understanding. "Well, I certainly didn't get this way on my own." If his face was pained before, it was positively wounded now. Mulder tried his best to sound unaffected by the hurt growing in him. "I know that...I just wish it could have been me..." he finally admitted,"I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to give you that..." he told her, a cold sorrow settling over him. Scully's mouth dropped open at the same time her hand came to cover it. Oh my God. Supposedly incapable of having children and she was pregnant. Of course, he thought... She had been so excited to tell him about the baby that she hadn't stopped to realize how it would look to him. She never thought to say the words 'it's yours.' How could she do this with anyone else? Mulder, sometimes, the truth is staring you right in the face. "Mulder..." "No, I'm happy for you. I am. But you obviously moved on with your life..." he said somberly,"and...I just..." "Mulder, stop." She closed the distance between them and took his face in her hands, making it impossible for him to turn away. "A lot of things have changed in the past several months but never how much I love you." His mouth opened to speak but it was captured in a soft kiss. As lost and confused as he felt, this was warm. This was familiar. This was home. He closed his eyes and welcomed it like sunshine on his face after a cold night. She lingered a bit letting him feel the warmth of her around him then pulled away. "Which is why I could never do this without you." "I'll be there for the baby, Scully," he whispered as he looked down at her pregnant belly. "Your baby." Mulder's gaze snapped up so fast she briefly pondered whiplash of the eyes. Those eyes asked the question that his lips couldn't seem to form. "Your. Baby..." she repeated. He sat transfixed for a moment, seeming at a loss as to what to do or say next. For the first time since his return, he touched the swell of their baby. The edges of his mouth twitched almost convulsively, as though afraid to smile, afraid to be too happy. She could nearly see the wheels racing in his mind. "But...it didn't...you said..." "There are other ways." She leaned in and deepened the next kiss. When they parted Scully saw a flash of memory cross his face. "You were pregnant. In Oregon... " his voice bright with understanding yet tinged with the regret of what might have been had he stayed that fateful day. Scully nodded. "I'm *eight months* pregnant, Mulder. You can do the math." His lips turned in an easy smile, a genuine twinkle in his eyes now--the first she'd seen since he learned of her pregnancy. But he spoke with all the seriousness of the world "God, Scully, if I had known..." he began, as he moved his hand over the place which held his growing child. "If you had known, you would have been even more determined to stop the abductions. We are where we are. Let's just be happy for a while." She brought a her palm back to his cheek, reveling in warmth of it, still giddy at the feel of him after so long believing she would never have it again. --------- He was supposed to be napping. Take it easy the doctor had said, and Scully had insisted. But sleep wasn't coming to him. And he had no desire for the images that plagued him when he closed his eyes. Cold steel cutting deep into his skin. The whine of a high-pitched drill looming toward him inch by inch. Strapped bare and helpless as his screams echoed around him...a chill ran rampant through his entire body. No. He wouldn't think about that. Not here. Not now. Instead, he watched Scully as she slept beside him. "I'll lay with you a while," she had told him. And she was out like a light. God bless her. He just couldn't stop staring . His eyes wandered leisurely over her body, always coming back to the proof of the growing life inside her. His baby. Their baby. He had missed so much. He had almost lost it all... In all the time he and Scully were trying to get pregnant, he had tried to imagine this. Laying with Scully, seeing the changes in her body, knowing that a part of himself was actually alive in her. But it had never seemed quite real. So, when she had told him it had failed, that there would be no baby, though it hurt him to know they had both lost something, it was only a dream of what might have been. He still had Scully. But new images came to him now. Things that no doubt would be: A laughing baby with the familiar bright blue of his mother smiles down at him as he holds him high and jiggles him in the air. Then, a purely baby squeal of delight at their familiar game. A dark-haired toddler leads him by the hand to the swings at the park-- 'Come, daddy. Play with me,' a small voice entreats excitedly. Bubbly laughter wafts around him. How much like Scully's... A small child turns from play with Scully and runs to the door, leaping into his open arms. So small yet holding such power over him--so like his mother. 'Daddy's home!' echoes sweetly in the room. 'Again, daddy.' A young child sits in his lap at bed time with a storybook. 'Read it again. Please,' the young voice beseeches in a secretive whisper, knowing it's well past his bedtime. A drill screeches. A child screams. 'Daddy!' he shouts between wails of utter terror against that horrifying sound. "Daddaaay!!" The sound grows louder still...The cries begin to fade, drifting further and further away. No! Mulder bolted awake to find Scully hovering close, worry etched in her face. His breath came in short gasps as she stroked lovingly over his brow. "It's all right. It was just a dream,"she told him gently. He must have drifted off. His hand unconsciously went to her stomach. Her touch and the tell-tale bulge of her abdomen settled him, and he dropped back to the bed with a huff. Scully snuggled closer, still not quite close enough. Never close enough. "Do you wanna talk about it?" she nudged as her hand smoothed over his chest, still finding immeasurable comfort in the rise and fall of it and the feel of his heart beating under her caress. He shook his head. "It was just a dream," he murmured back to her. But even as he lay there finding peace in the quiet of their shared bed, he knew one thing: Those alien bastards had no idea who they were dealing with. An FBI agent? No. He was a father now. They better pray to whatever God they believe in. Not that it would matter. God was obviously on his side. The end.